# 108 Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last, They Just Show Up Weird

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth
Podcast.
Frank talk about sex and dating.
Hello, Tamra here.
Welcome to the show.
Today's guest is Sharp Game, atrusted dating advisor to
millions, and we'll be talkingabout straightforward dating
advice.
Thanks for joining me, SharpGame.

SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
I'm happy to be here.
Looking forward to it.
To it Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 (00:22):
Yeah, I like talking about helping people with their
dating, especially a lot ofpeople are not enjoying it
nowadays.
So any advice we can give tohelp people enjoy it a little
more will be helpful.

SPEAKER_01 (00:35):
Yeah, that's fantastic.
You know, let's let's talk aboutit.

SPEAKER_00 (00:39):
Yeah.
And I know you said you got yourstart when you were in the Navy
overseas, or at least that'swhere you got to learn a lot
about different women fromdifferent cultures.
Do you want to say more aboutthat and start there?

SPEAKER_01 (00:50):
Or yeah, yeah.
When I went in the um Navy, youknow, I um, you know, I met
people from uh all around theworld basically.
And um I was just I was alwayscurious to know and understand
what you know differentcultures, different languages,
and I just found it fascinatingat the time.

(01:13):
And I realized, you know, wherewhere I'm living at the time,
I'm from South Carolina, inNorth America, right?
People are very different.
Everywhere you go, people arevery different, right?
Women are very different.
But at the same time, there'ssome like core things about
women that are the same,regardless of the language, how

(01:35):
she was raised, how she looks,how she dressed, how she talks,
how she walks.
There's some core things aboutwomen are the same, you know.
So I I just found it when Istarted traveling, being in the
Navy and even getting out in theNavy, that these core things
about attracting women arebasically the same regardless of

(01:55):
where you live at.

SPEAKER_00 (01:58):
Okay.
Yeah, and do you want to sharelike some of the stuff you found
out or or more about how you usethat in your when you coach
people or help people?

SPEAKER_01 (02:06):
Yeah, yeah, like the the first thing I learned is
like leadership is the sameeverywhere.
Everywhere you go, everyoneknows what leadership looks
like.
And might not be able to explainit, but they can sense it, they
can feel it, right?
And they can tell you, probablythe first guy that's that's ever

(02:30):
been in their life was theirfather, right?
That that's most people wouldsay, yeah, the first guy I saw,
you know, growing up was myfather.
I saw my father take care of thehousehold, take care of my mom,
take care of my sisters andbrothers.
And, you know, my father made alot of tough decisions.
So most people's father uh isusually the first good example

(02:57):
of they had when it comes toleadership.

SPEAKER_00 (03:00):
Yeah, and then uh so you're saying women prefer a man
who can lead.
Yeah.
Is that what you found to betrue?
I mean, I don't know.
That's true for sure, too.
Yeah.
But I mean, there's a lot oflike they don't think they want
to be led as you know, thatthey're with the the
independence and feminism andall that, but I I definitely
also agree that it just worksbest when if you respect and let

(03:22):
your man.

SPEAKER_01 (03:23):
And I'm glad you brought that up.
Even even the the so-calledindependent woman, if the right
guy shows up, I found even thatwoman will be like, hey, you
know what?
I like him.
I'm gonna I'm gonna put my trustinto him.
Even the right, if the right guyshows up, even the most

(03:45):
independent woman uh you canever think of, even the woman
that you probably would say, oh,she would never get with a man.
But if the right guy shows up,she will throw all that stuff
out the window.

SPEAKER_00 (03:58):
Yeah, actually, I just talked to a friend who who
is very much like that.
She would never I would neverwould have thought she could
have.
And she met the right guy, andshe actually just felt safe and
relaxed and just kind of let himtake the lead because she
respected him enough and it justworked.
And she was surprised herself.

SPEAKER_01 (04:13):
Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 (04:15):
Yeah, but yeah, it's definitely an important thing.
And it's and do you uh sharewith people like how to take
leading, or do you want to gothrough what you found out first
and then talk about each oneindividually or talk about it
now?

SPEAKER_01 (04:27):
Well, you mentioned one, one another one, respect.
Respect, I found is probably themost important thing when it
comes to having relationshipsbetween men and women.
It's like I found that if youhave mutual respect, everything

(04:49):
else will take care of itselfwithin that relationship.
Everything kind of works itselfout in a very natural way, if
there's mutual respect.
But I also found on the otherside, if there is no respect on
on from each each of us, eachside, whether it's from the

(05:11):
man's side or the women's side,that relationship is going to
struggle and ultimately it'sprobably going to end.

SPEAKER_00 (05:20):
Yeah, yeah, I would definitely agree.
Or you're just gonna fight a lotand then some people suffer
through it.
Yeah, but yeah, it's definitelyjust a power struggle the whole
time, and just everything takingpeople take it personally and
get mad at each other.
So yeah.
Definitely a thing.
Yep.
And do you want to go into theother ones you found out after

(05:42):
leadership and respect, or talkmore about leadership first?

SPEAKER_01 (05:46):
Well, we can get into some more.
I found I also found that umregardless of where you may be
in the world, every woman wantsto be safe.
She wants to feel like, hey, I'mcomfortable with this guy,
regardless of where he may befrom or where she might be from.

(06:11):
Um comfort is like um is it'svery important.
It it it it when people arecomfortable with you, they tend
to open up, be more um open.
You can talk about almostanything.
Um, there's no stress, nopressure.
Um, you know, the you know, theconversation flows, there's no

(06:38):
no assumptions, there's no, youknow, there's no I don't know, I
didn't know this, you know,because you're you're very open.
So you don't have to put on anact, or you don't have to be
somebody else, you know, becausea lot of people go into
relationships uh a majority ofthe time, I would say, they feel

(06:58):
they don't feel comfortable withthemselves.
They feel like they gotta besomebody else, or they have to
pretend to be somebody else.
So, you know, I found that justyou well first you have to know
who you are.
And you and once you know whoyou are just being comfortable

(07:19):
between each other, that that'sa very um that's very important
when it comes to betweenrelationships between men and
women.

SPEAKER_00 (07:30):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Yeah, I mean that's number onefor women for sure.
Because it some men don'tunderstand like how unsafe women
can feel going through theworld, you know.
Like my boyfriend will getsurprised that I'm like you
know, startled by something andlike, well, we have to worry
about that more than you guysdo.
Yeah.
Especially like a smaller, likepetite woman.

(07:51):
You know, a friend of mine,she's like five foot and weighed
almost nothing, and she's like,we could literally be like
carried off, you know.
So luckily I'm a little taller,so I don't have to have that
issue.
I don't feel as unsafe, butyeah, it's like definitely and
then like you said, justinteracting with each other, the
safety there of being yourself.

SPEAKER_01 (08:08):
So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (08:10):
Yeah.
What is there more or those likethe three main, three, four main
ones?

SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
Or yeah, those I would say those are the main
ones.

SPEAKER_00 (08:21):
And what are some of the biggest mistakes men make
while dating?

SPEAKER_01 (08:26):
Oh, I think the one of the biggest mistakes is a lot
of guys think women got it allfigured out.
They think that, you know, ifthey see uh an attractive woman,
or at least a woman that'sattractive to him, he just
assumes that she got it allfigured out.
You know, uh hey, I'm probablyshe's probably out of my league

(08:47):
anyway.
So I'm just not gonna go andtalk to her.
You know, he thinks that he shegot it all figured out.
She got the job, she got thecar, she got the clothes, the
jewelry, the house.
So she got it all figured out.
You know, she's probably notlooking for a man anyway, or
probably don't want one, youknow.
So they assume, you know, theyassume too much.

(09:10):
And a lot of times, this iswhere a lot of guys get in
trouble because they come offwith those assumptions, and in
most cases, they're wrong.
The truth is no one has it allfigured out.
We're all growing, not at thesame rate, but no one has
everything all figured out.

(09:31):
Now, some of us are better insome areas than others, of
course, yes, but no one haseverything figured all figured
out.
And um, there's no such thing asa self-made person.
You know, there's this um on theinternet, especially, you know,
they there's uh this this ideathat you know one person can do

(09:53):
it all.
You know, that's no, that'sthat's a fantasy world that a
lot of people um uh you knowtalk about.
And and it got started probablylike 20 years ago through a lot
of entertainers, I would say.
That's how it got started.
That somehow this one man orthis one woman done everything
and didn't need any help andjust did it by themselves.

(10:14):
But no, but it it real life justdoesn't work like that.
Everybody needs support,everybody needs help at some
point.
Nobody's good at doingeverything, you know.
So that's one of the biggestmistakes that a lot of guys
make.

SPEAKER_00 (10:31):
Yeah, I was gonna say the women that you described
earlier are the ones that areprobably looking for the man
because they have everythingelse, and now that all they need
is the guy, and then they're theones that are least approached.
So yeah, I definitely agree withthat.
And then the um having it alltogether, like when couples you
know do better when they're bothsupporting each other, they can
both thrive and both grow.
So yeah, it's always good tohave someone there pushing you

(10:54):
to grow, yeah, for sure.
Yeah, and then one of thequestions I have why why nice
guys, why do nice guys have ahard time dating women?
What's up with that?

SPEAKER_01 (11:06):
Well, a lot of times, a lot of nice guys come
across as they're manipulatingthe woman.
They're trying to be somethingthat they're not, and a lot of
women will pick up on that.
They know that you're doingthings just because you think

(11:27):
she likes it.
And they know that's you're notlike that every day.
You're not like that.
You might not even be like thatwith every woman, but she picks
up on that, hey, he that ain'twho he really is.
You know, he brought me flowersthe first day, you know, and I
never met him in my life.

(11:49):
Yeah, and he's claims he lovesme, doesn't know me at all, you
know, stuff like that, or bringsme a uh a gift, spending
hundreds of dollars, and henever met me in my life.
And she knows that you don't dothis all the time.
You know, you only did this withme because of whatever reason,

(12:10):
right?
So she knows that you're notbeing who you say, who you who
you say you're supposed to be,you know.
So that's that's a mistake, youknow.
So that's why, and by the timeyou by the time, you know, over
time the woman is gonna loseher, well, she's gonna probably

(12:32):
she never really respected youin the first place, but the
relationship is gonna fall, it'sgonna crumble, it's not gonna
last.
And then she's probably gonnaend up cutting you off, and
you're gonna be one of thoseguys that's saying, Oh, she did
me wrong, you know, uh look atwhat I did for her, and you
know, that so that's that's moremanipulation than anything.

(12:57):
You know, just try to be yourbest self, whatever that is.
And if you feel like who you areas your best self ain't enough,
you can always grow.
But don't try to fake it tillyou make it.
That that doesn't work, thatdoesn't last, you know?
So and and I always tell a lotof guys, I don't know about you,

(13:23):
but I want I like to win.
And when you fake it till youmake it and try to be somebody
else, you gotta always have tostart all over again.
And that's that's losing.
So I like to win, I like to dothings to win, I like to set
myself up to win.
So, and in order for me, inorder to win, you have to grow

(13:45):
into your best self.

SPEAKER_00 (13:47):
Yeah, they say you can't love other people till you
love yourself, and you knowwhat, you're just a more
interesting person if you'vegrown and learned and have
things to offer each other.
And I know you recommend thatmen wait to get married till
after 35.
Why would you say that is true?

SPEAKER_01 (14:04):
Well, unfortunately, um, a lot of us we don't really
know who we are when when we'rein our 20s.
We're trying to figure it outjust like women are trying to
figure out.
Now, some people will make theargument and say, well, women
mature faster than men.
That's true in in in most cases,right?

(14:25):
But we catch up.
Right?
We catch up.
So we're trying to figure outwho we are.
So I think when you get marriedearly, it's very difficult, you
know, to maintain thoserelationships.
If you talk to any couple thatgot married in the early 20s or

(14:45):
the teens, or maybe it was 18and 19, if you talk to any of
these people and they're stilltogether today, yeah, they're
gonna tell you a lot of trialsand tribulations that they've
been through over the past 15 or20 years of being married and
living in the same household andhaving kids and having all this

(15:07):
financial responsibility.
And I just think that for mostpeople, it would be much easier
and even wiser to get marriedlater, you know, 35 or better,
you know, that way you know whatyou like, what you don't like,

(15:28):
you have more life experience.
Um, your finances is probablygonna be better.
It might not be where you wantit to be, but it's gonna be
better.
And you know, you you you have abetter idea of how things work,
what what works for you, uh,what might work for her, and

(15:50):
what might work for the both ofy'all when y'all get together.
So I just think it's it's it'smuch a better idea.
And you have more lifeexperience in the when you're in
your later years, like 35 orbetter.

SPEAKER_00 (16:06):
Yeah.
And and you have a YouTubechannel and podcast yourself.
You want to talk about some ofthe stuff, how people could
reach you?

SPEAKER_01 (16:14):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, my my my my handle onYouTube is called Love Can't
Wait.
And and my podcast is Love Can'tWait as well.
And basically I talk about allthings, uh relationships between
men and women.
A lot of it has to do with um alot of questions that I usually

(16:35):
get by email, and a lot of it, Ieven talk about a celebrities
sometimes, you know.
But a lot of it is based onrelationships at the end of the
day.
You know, what works, whatdoesn't work, um, mistakes that
people made, mistakes thatshould could have been avoided.
Um, so yeah, everything is basedon relationships and what works,

(16:59):
what doesn't work, and what youcan do to become a a better you,
basically.

SPEAKER_00 (17:05):
Okay.
And do you have and I do youhave other stuff to share about
like how to or you if they go toyour podcast, they'll see all
the other stuff because I knowit says you or you wrote books
as well.

SPEAKER_01 (17:18):
Yeah, if you go to my um website, love at first
click.com, you're gonna findeverything there.
My books, uh my YouTube channelsthere, my podcast is there,
everything is there.
And if you I have a newsletter,you can um you can get as well.

(17:40):
So everything is on at mywebsite, love at firstclick.com.
And I spell love atfirstclick.com.

SPEAKER_00 (17:51):
Okay.
All right, and then um just acouple more questions.
You said that uh you mentionedthat why why men should take
what women say with a grain ofsalt.

SPEAKER_01 (18:02):
I I think I know the answer, but I want to hear your
Yeah, because most women theydon't want to be mean in in most
cases, right?
Now you and now you have somewomen that they just don't care.
They just they'll just theythey'll just be rude and raw
with it, right?
But for the most part, womenthey don't want to be mean.

(18:22):
So they'll they'll just saysomething because they don't
want to hurt hurt the guys'feelings in in most cases, you
know.
But that's why I say you shouldtake what women say with a
green.
So a lot of times, um, whenyou're talking to a woman, uh,
you know, if if you don't getit, they're not gonna really
spend a lot of time trying toexplain to you because in their

(18:46):
mind, you ain't the one.
And they know, okay, if I haveto keep explaining this to him,
I'm probably gonna have to keepexplaining to him all the time.
So a lot of women like he justain't the one.
You know, he's a nice guy, buthe ain't the one for me.
So I need to go and findsomebody that that that has it,

(19:09):
that understands what I'mtalking about, you know, without
me going into all the detailsand everything.
So that's why I say you shouldtake what women say with a grain
of salt.

SPEAKER_00 (19:19):
So it's part of goes back to part of that the
connection, maybe the click.
Like either two people eitherget it or don't, you either get
each other or not.
Yeah.
And that's yeah, I agree withthat too.
But also, like women are aremore inclined to like their
feelings change often.
So like they might be mad for infive minutes and then like five
minutes later fine.
Like and we we always change ouropinion based on how we feel

(19:41):
instead of what we think.
So it's always changing.

SPEAKER_01 (19:44):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (19:45):
And you can never like predict exactly what we're
gonna think or be.
So like you know, just wait,like the weather, you just wait,
you know, 20 minutes and theweather will change, our opinion
will change potentially.
So yeah, I was gonna say thatwas part of the reason too.

SPEAKER_01 (19:59):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (20:00):
All right.
Well, is there anything you wantto like just kind of make sure
we capture like a kind ofclosing comments, final thoughts
to just kind of leave likedaters in general, like what's
okay.

SPEAKER_01 (20:14):
I would say at the end of the day, you're either
growing or you're not.
And I said, I always say thatyou should all you should always
be looking to get better,whether you're a man or a woman.
You know, and I heard like yearsago, somebody said you either

(20:37):
growing or you're dying.
You can't do both at the sametime.
So I always say you should bedoing something every day to get
better.
That's my philosoph that's mylife philosophy, basically.
You should always be doingsomething to get better.
As a man, as a woman, as afather, as a brother, uh, you

(21:02):
know, whatever.
Whatever, whatever, even in yourjob or your profession, you
should be doing something everyday to get better.
Because once once you take onthat life philosophy and those
habits, everything gets better.
So that's that's what I wouldsay.

SPEAKER_00 (21:23):
Okay.
Well, thank you much for uhthank you very much for being
on.
Um if you love this episode, besure to tell your friends about
it and rate it as well.
And um, thanks for being onSharp Game.
Great stuff.

SPEAKER_01 (21:36):
Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 (21:38):
All right, bye.
Thanks everyone.
Frank's off, Frank Talk,exciting, adjudicating.

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# 108 Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last, They Just Show Up Weird

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