November 25, 2025 • 37 mins
We explore how the body stores shame and trauma, and how cycle awareness, somatics, and microdosing create a kinder path to healing. Leslie Draffin shares personal stories on PCOS, PMS, herpes stigma, and practical tools that restore safety, desire, and self-trust.
• defining womb mysticism as science plus the sacred
• PMS as feedback and pain relief through small changes
• working with grief and shame after hysterectomy or menopause
• microdosing to soften the default mode network
• somatic practices that start with sensation, not thoughts
• cervical dearmoring as advanced fascia release
• recommended reads for accessible somatic healing
• the SHIFT method: journal, breathe, move
• moving through sexual shame and herpes stigma
• speaking truth when safe and ready
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to the Straight From the Source's Mouth
podcast where Frank talk aboutsex and dating.
Hello, Tamara here.
Welcome to the show.
Today's guest is Leslie Drafin.
She's a womb mystic and women'ssomatic microdosing guide, and
we'll be talking about her focuson helping people heal trauma
stuck in the body.
Thanks for joining me, Leslie.
SPEAKER_01 (00:21):
Of course.
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
SPEAKER_00 (00:24):
Yes, we haven't had a topic on this exactly.
And I guess the first question,which I would imagine a lot of
people ask, is what exactly is awomb mystic?
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
You know, I define the term womb mystic as someone
who helps people heal their wombtrauma in both scientific and
mystical ways.
I see myself doing that for meand for the people that I work
with.
Also, I think what a womb mysticis, is anyone who understands
(00:54):
that the womb is not just anorgan for reproduction.
It's a space within the bodythat really holds on to your
creative life force energy.
And when we can live inalignment with that space and
let that be the guru of ourlife, everything works better.
Everything.
And so I learned that myselfthrough my own healing journey.
And I'm really happy andprivileged to be able to share
(01:15):
that with others too.
SPEAKER_00 (01:16):
Yeah, I was actually just gonna ask you about your
own journey since you mentionedit.
SPEAKER_01 (01:20):
Yeah.
So my own journey really startedwhen I came off of birth control
and I was in my mid-30s.
So backing up slightly, youknow, my my story is that I'm
adopted and my mom, my mom whoadopted me, didn't have a period
anymore.
She had had several miscarriagesthat resulted in her having a
hysterectomy.
(01:41):
And so I wasn't raised aroundanyone who was bleeding.
My father is a preacher, so Iwas also raised in the church,
and so it was even more taboo totalk about this type of thing.
And so when I finally decided tocome off of hormonal birth
control, which I was on from theage of 18 through 33, 34, in the
middle of the pandemic, I had tolearn everything about the
(02:02):
cycle, things I should have beentaught in school, but I'm from
South Carolina.
The reproductive healtheducation is trash.
And so I had to do a lot ofself-study to figure out what
does this mean for me?
What is my cycle doing?
What does it even mean to livein tune with the cycle?
And so I started very much whatI call in the masculine way,
(02:23):
trying to do everything right,eat the right foods, work out in
the right way.
I tried hundreds of dollars insupplements and did every cuckoo
thing that folks see on theinternet.
And I say cuckoo because I don'tthink it's all necessary.
Truly, I don't.
Um, and what that got me wasmore stress and more burnout.
I was trying to heal by checkingoff things on a to-do list.
And when in reality, I needed tojust slow down and understand
(02:47):
how to really listen to my bodyand listen to the voice of my
womb, which is what I would callthat.
And so fortunately, I found someamazing teachers and understood
finally that my womb didn'treally need me to change what I
ate every week and change myworkout every week and change my
(03:08):
supplements every week, and allof this wild stuff I was trying
to do to get my period backbecause it didn't come back for
about nine months after I quitthe pill.
And in that process, I reallyalso uncovered a lot of shame.
Some stories I had likecompletely forgotten about my
first period and about what itfelt like to be a woman as a
young teenage girl came floodingback to me and really started to
(03:32):
show me how much the body doeshold on to trauma through stored
memories, stored emotions,stored sensations.
And so as I walked the path ofreally connecting to my cycle
and changing my life to fit andalign with that part of myself,
um I noticed a lot of reallyimportant changes.
(03:52):
I felt like I was able toconnect with myself more deeply,
connect with my partner moredeeply, um, who's now my
husband.
And yeah, it really just changeda lot of things that I was never
taught and allowed me to really,I think, um, bridge the gap that
I saw within my feminine energy.
(04:13):
I lived very much in themasculine perfectionist,
overachiever, hustle culture,climbing the corporate ladder.
And this is one of the reasonswhy I've been able to balance
that energy and understand whenit's time to push and when it's
time to rest.
SPEAKER_00 (04:28):
Is that what you meant when you said discovering
how your body works, like thefeminine and masculine side of
it, or and was part of it theactual body of like the cycle
were you different and differenttimes of your cycle?
Both.
SPEAKER_01 (04:40):
For sure, both.
You know, I think understandingthat second part, the body's
cycles, understanding thedifferent phases of the
menstrual cycle, understandingwhat my cycle patterns were,
where I was having morechallenges, um, where I was
having more ease and flow, thensort of mirrored to me, okay,
this might be when I can dothings that feel more outward,
(05:02):
aka more masculine energy-basedtopics, like being on a podcast
or pitching to podcasts, um,marketing for work, creating
content, um, and then viceversa, in the spaces that I was
having more cyclical problems,how can I back off and really
make sure I'm nourishing allparts of me?
SPEAKER_00 (05:22):
And is it standard generally for women to have
certain parts of the cycle thatare definitely good and bad?
SPEAKER_01 (05:27):
Such a good question.
So, no, actually.
And that's one of the thingsthat I really learned is because
I have PCOS.
And so with PCOS, it'spolycystic ovarian syndrome, and
that's generally first umidentified as irregular cycles.
And so I think mine was mostlytriggered by being on the pill
for so long, and so there issomething called post-pill PCOS.
(05:50):
But what I know about my ownbirth mother, she also had PCOS,
so it's probably also ahereditary thing in my line.
Um, but with PCOS, it'sgenerally typical to have a very
long follicular phase.
That's the phase right afteryour period.
When most people feel really,really good, that's when energy
is rising, when you're seeingestrogen slowly rise up until
(06:11):
the ovulation phase whereprogesterone kicks in.
What I noticed is that I wasstaying in follicular for a long
time.
And that's masculine outwardenergy.
And I would be so exhausted bythe time my ovulation would roll
around.
I would be irritable, I would becranky, and it was really
interesting to start seeing howthat affected my luteal phase.
(06:31):
When I got into the lutealphase, which is when most folks
get PMS, I was like thriving.
I felt so happy.
I'm like, okay, now I can do thethings that feel really like
nesting organization.
And it was just an interestingthing to start to track my cycle
and watch my unique patterns.
Now, so with that all said, yes,there are times in the cycle
(06:53):
that folks typically doexperience some cyclical issues.
And that, again, is where PMScomes from.
It's like um usually five to tendays before your bleed.
And the more I talk about thison the internet, the more I see
how many women really dostruggle in that phase.
And so for me, it's been reallyinteresting to note the
(07:15):
differences in my cycle and thedifferences in the people that I
work with, knowing that thething here is everyone's unique.
And when you know what you'regonna be facing month after
month, that's where the poweris.
SPEAKER_00 (07:26):
Yeah, I was definitely one of those people,
PMS, like I would just have theworst cramps ever.
Like I would have to takemedication early to get prepared
for pain.
SPEAKER_01 (07:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:36):
Yeah.
So tricky.
Yeah, for sure.
And is there more to say aboutthat, or did we kind of cover
that?
SPEAKER_01 (07:43):
Sure, we can talk a little bit more about that.
I think what's interesting isyou know, something I uncovered
when I was work with doing thiswork is that a lot of folks
think that PMS is just a given,like just gonna happen for sure,
a predetermined, predestinedplace we're gonna get to once a
month.
And what I found working withpeople is when you start to pay
(08:05):
attention to the cycle and startto be aware of it and honor it,
um, and maybe start to change afew subtle things.
Maybe it's eating somethingslightly different the week
before your period.
Or one of the most common thingsI tell folks is not to have cold
items after you ovulate.
Pain can really be helped prettynaturally in a few cycles.
(08:27):
I've seen people's cramps godown at as much as 60% in one
month.
Um, because I think, and this ismore of the mystical side that's
where the mystic comes in, Ithink that PMS is a sign.
It's a signal that's showing uswhere we are not in alignment,
both physically with possiblyour lifestyle, what we're
(08:48):
eating, what we're drinking,what we're doing, but also how
we're judging ourselves.
And so when things like crampscome up, a few little changes
can all uh in the diet can helpthat.
When mood swings come up, whenirritability comes up, that is
always a sign to me that thereisn't enough space in other
areas of your life and you'renot fully allowing yourself to
(09:10):
feel all of those emotions.
And that's why right before yourperiod, you're you're so
sensitive on the nervous systemlevel.
That's why you freak out.
That's why you flip off your thethe flip off the driver next to
you, that's why you're flippingout on your power or your
partner.
I have done it this week.
So it's like, yeah, that to mewas so interesting.
(09:30):
It's not a pre-gone for uhconclusion that um, a foregone
conclusion that you're gonnahave PMS, but I think it's a
really lovely sign to watch whathappens for you in PMS and when
you can be aware of that andsort of back off from the
triggered reaction and let it bemore of a pause and think, what
could this show me?
(09:51):
That's I think when you can turnthe corner and really have a
much better period.
SPEAKER_00 (09:55):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (09:55):
And do you work with people that have already
stopped, like paramonopausal andmenopausal?
And what that's a huge chunk ofpeople that I work with,
actually.
So the way that my business hasevolved is I began as a
menstrual cycle coach.
And as I did the work withwomen, um, oh, so much trauma
was coming out.
So much stored trauma that maybethey didn't even remember.
(10:18):
Um, and even in little the girlsI was working with, the young
girls, 10, 11, 12 years old, Iwould see them have these
stories of what it meant to be awoman, these stories of whether
it was okay to talk aboutperiods or if it was okay to,
you know, buy tampons in public.
Like even at that tiny young agewhen the society is, you know,
barely had enough time toimprint on them, they were
(10:40):
having these negative, moreshame-filled thoughts and
experiences.
And so when that started tohappen for me, I knew I needed
to expand my own certificationsand my own training to really
look broadly at trauma and lookat somatic-based trauma.
So, why and how the body holdson to the stored trauma, and my
(11:00):
specific focus being the womb,the pelvic region, the genitals.
And so when I started to expandinto that type of work, a lot of
women came to me who no longerwere bleeding, whether it was
because they were umpost-hysterectomy, whether it
was because they had cyclicalissues like PCOS or
(11:20):
endometriosis or fibroids.
And so what I've found withthose women is there's still a
lot of shame.
There's a lot of shame in folkswho had hysterectomies, there's
a lot of grief, especially ifthey were not aware of how
important and powerful the cyclecould be pre-hysterectomy.
Also, if they had reallyproblematic periods, um, if
(11:40):
they've had intense pain, that'swhy I work with a lot of
endometriosis people, um, ifthey've had intense issues with
fertility, which is a PCOSsymptoms often, there's a lot
of, yeah, just stored grief andsadness that maybe they've never
been able to express andrelease.
And so even without a cycle,even without a womb, you can
(12:02):
still begin to let the bodyspeak to you and notice those
sensations and let the storystored in the body have its day
and have its time to be fullyexpressed and felt.
And so I actually, I would sayhalf the people I work with are
those who no longer bleed, andthat's the that's just kind of
the juice.
(12:22):
It's like once you get to thisphase of life, you think it's
over.
You can't access that femininepart of yourself anymore, and
absolutely not.
That's not at all what I'mseeing.
And in fact, I would really saythat those folks who are no
longer in their bleeding yearshave the additional, not
responsibility per se, but likethe additional benefit of now
(12:44):
having this wisdom that they'velived for so long that can they
can share with the youngergeneration, especially when they
do the work to heal what theyhave been storing within them.
SPEAKER_00 (12:53):
Yeah, yeah, I definitely agree.
And is this where healing thebody and healing the trauma, is
that where the psychedelics comein, or is that just a small part
of it, or is that a main part ofit?
SPEAKER_01 (13:05):
You know, I used to say it was a main part of it,
and now I'm sort of in thisplace where psychedelics are an
amazing tool, an amazingcatalyst to help unravel things
within you that have felt stuck.
And so I use them alongsidesomatics, but I don't think
they're um, I don't thinkthey're like a hundred percent
necessary, but everyone that Iwork with does choose to
(13:27):
microdose, right?
That's that's what we do here.
But if you're listening to thisand you're thinking, oof, drugs
bad.
Um, what I would just say isthat psychedelic medicine in the
way that I work with it is atsuch a tiny dose.
You're not hallucinating,tripping high.
You're not at risk of havingsome bad journey, right?
Because you're taking such asmall amount into your body.
(13:48):
But what that's doing when itcomes to healing the body is it
really allows the mind to quietthe hamster wheel of thoughts
that you might be living in,your default mode, where your
habits and your negativeself-talk and maybe your anxiety
and all of the programmed waysthat you have gone about your
life live.
And it's a very rigid placethat's hard to access.
(14:12):
Psilocybin, which is magicmushrooms, helps that space to
quiet down and allows otherparts of the brain to light up
so that you can create newneural pathways.
And I also see it as creatingnew pathways between the brain
and body.
The other thing, another reasonI think it's so impactful, is
because as you find more safetyin the present moment, which can
(14:34):
be really hard if you've livedin fight-flight freeze, but as
you find more safety, as you areallowed to slow down and become
interested and excited aboutevery present moment, when
you're finding joy and bliss inthe teeniest things, which
microdosing is phenomenal for,you're able to do work that
(14:55):
feels scary and uncomfortable ina more gentle way.
And so that's why I thinkpsychedelics are such a
phenomenal ally in the healingjourney.
But again, I don't necessarilythink that they're for everybody
and those who are have a deepfear or are deeply resistant to
doing something that is stillhighly taboo in our place where
(15:16):
where we live.
Um, there are other aspects thatyou can work with too that I
think can achieve just as muchamazing healing.
SPEAKER_00 (15:24):
Yeah, and I'm guessing that's where your the
somatic part comes in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you want to talk more aboutthat?
SPEAKER_01 (15:30):
Yeah.
So somatics is the way that Idefine it, um, mind-body healing
focused on the sensations thatlive in the body and
understanding that, you know, wewalk around thinking that every
thought comes from our head.
But in reality, at least 80% ofthe thoughts we finally
(15:51):
articulate and think started assensations in the body.
And you can note that anxiety isa really, I think, simple way to
um think about that.
If you've ever felt anxiety, andI say felt anxiety because
anxiety is a deeply somaticexperience for a lot of us,
racing heart, tight throat,fluttering chest, feeling like
(16:13):
you're faint, feeling reallyhot, just like going back
through all my anxiety attacks,you know.
So it's a felt sense that thenit's like, oh my gosh, I'm also
thinking worst-case scenariothoughts, ruminating into
catastrophe, that type of thing.
And so when we work with thesensations first, for instance,
with anxiety, what we can do isstart to pinpoint why we're
(16:37):
thinking these thoughts, wherethey started from, and then tend
to the sensation and allow it tomove out of the body so that
some of those underlying reasonsfor anxiety dissipate.
Now, that doesn't meannecessarily that we're gonna
heal anxiety and you're nevergonna feel anxious again.
But what I tend to work with,especially with those folks who
(16:57):
are anxious, especially withmyself, is building up a toolkit
to immediately respond tosensations that come up around
anxiety and then know what'sworking for you to help you
mitigate that and to express it.
So, for example, one thing thatfor me has really been a key
marker of my anxiety is thisfeeling of like hot flush.
(17:22):
Um, just oh, I'll get like red.
And so for me, a key somaticpractice that helps with my
anxiety is immediately gettinginto a cold shower because I'm
cooling the temperature off inthe body and allowing the body
to come back into stasis.
So then I can say, all right,where is this thought?
Where's this feeling living inthe body?
It's in the chest.
What that might be showing me isX, Y, and Z.
(17:42):
So it kind of just helps to calmand um helps you to come up with
what I call the somaticself-care toolbox that will
allow you to navigate thefeelings coming up.
SPEAKER_00 (18:10):
And then how I mean, I I've I've done a little bit of
this where you like getmeditations, yeah, and is that
kind of what you do with it?
SPEAKER_01 (18:19):
Or yeah, so it's meditations, but usually, so and
I'm a trained meditationteacher, what I look at
meditation-wise somatically ismore body scan type meditations
or um movement style meditation,or instead of thinking of
meditation as this clearing thethoughts, clearing the mind, um,
(18:43):
allowing your meditation to bemore based in what you're
feeling in the body, and thenbring it up into the mind.
Okay, what might this pinch inthe back left shoulder might,
what that might be showing me,and what that might be sensing
to me?
Now, when I work with peoplewith psychedelics, one of the
key things we do is they ingesttheir tiny dose and then come to
(19:06):
our virtual session, and I doguide them through a visual
meditation, a guided imagerymeditation, where I'm prompting
them for a few moments, and thenthey are sh they are telling me
what it is that they're seeingand sensing.
And then we let those sensationsand those um images guide us
(19:27):
through a very weaving journeyinto what it is that they might
be needing to see or feel orexperience.
So it's a little bit more than Ithink what most folks categorize
as meditation.
Um, I actually don't really callwhat I do meditating, I I call
it um somatic embodiment, but itis a very meditative practice.
SPEAKER_00 (19:47):
Yeah, and definitely more active, like you're saying.
Yeah, just looking through theor feeling the I in high school
I was a diver and we had to liketense certain parts like
throughout our body, like taketurns tensing in certain areas.
SPEAKER_01 (20:00):
Yes, which is another amazing tool for
anxiety, muscle relaxing, muscletensing, and also if you have
problems sleeping, it's a greatsomatic practice for that.
SPEAKER_00 (20:09):
Okay, good to know.
Is there more to say on thispart of it, or I was gonna bring
up the go ahead.
SPEAKER_01 (20:17):
On the somatic practice part, I think I could
share a story about how I knewfor certain that I was holding
on to somatic memory, if you'dlike.
Okay.
So when I came off of hormonalbirth control, the big symptom
that I said was really deeplyimpacting most areas of my life
was a complete lack of libido.
I was just numb, completely numbdown there.
(20:40):
And I found it so strange that II could feel very little in the
clitoris or vulva area.
And so I began studying with awoman named Rosie Reese, who's
out of Australia, and one of thethings that she really talked a
lot about was something known ascervical dearmoring.
Now, this is also really just atrigger point massage that it's
(21:01):
both on the outside of thevulva, which if you're
unfamiliar with what the vulvais, it's pretty much everything
you see on the outside of yourgenitals, and an internal
vaginal massage, which is in thevaginal canal.
Now, what this does is it helpsto release any stored emotions,
any stored memories.
And just like if you've ever hada massage and you've left
(21:22):
crying, or you have felt, youknow, some flood of emotion or
anxiety come up while you'regetting that body work done,
similar things can happen whenyou're working with cervical
dearmoring.
Now, I will also caution thisstore this tale with this was an
elite level skill that Iprobably wasn't ready for, to be
completely honest.
And I don't teach this to peopleunless they're in my one-on-one
(21:44):
and we're far along in theone-on-one.
This is a this is an advancedpractice.
But, you know, I had set up myroom, I had let like turned off
all the lights, I had somereally lovely candles, I was
very much making it a sensualpractice, not necessarily a
sexual practice with a goal oforgasm whatsoever, but I wanted
it to be sensual and soft andsafe and quiet.
(22:06):
And so with a certain type ofglass wand, glass dildo, you
basically begin by mapping outthe vulva or the yoni region,
thinking of it like a clock.
So 12, 6, 3, 9.
And starting on the outside, youpress the ball of the glass
dildo onto the space, hold itwith a little bit of pressure
(22:29):
and breathe, waiting for about aminute or two.
And then you move it to threeo'clock, wait for a minute or
two, move it to six, move it tonine.
Then maybe you enter into thevaginal canal just a little bit,
half an inch, again, 12, 3, 6,9, working in that clock light
factor to really just bringpressure, breath, and awareness
to the space.
(22:49):
That was the practice.
I get about two inches into myvaginal canal, and I feel a
pinch, like pins and needles, inthe upper right quadrant of my
vagin vaginal canal.
And I immediately hear a voicesay, You fat bitch.
I'm like, what is this?
It was an ex-boyfriend that Ihad had after I got divorced who
(23:13):
was a classic narcissist.
And I'm like, oh my God, I havenot consciously thought of this
man in five years.
Yet there it was.
There was that stored memory.
It came with the pinch, it camewith that negative, that
negative talk.
And oh, I just cried, I releasedit, I continued to put pressure
there.
And again, I think it wasprobably at like right at the 12
(23:36):
o'clock time the 12 o'clock parton the clock.
As I moved around and thenstayed there and moved back
around again, I could feelnothing.
And so I'm like, okay, thatmight have been released and
processed.
But that was the first time Ireally connected the dots
between stored memory and thefascia of the body and how I was
(23:58):
living my life.
I did feel like a fat bitchsometimes.
I have had a long history ofeating disorders.
This man knew the things to tellme.
I was like 120 pounds when I metthis man.
I was not fat, probably a bitch,but who cares?
And so he knew that.
And that was speaking to mydeepest insecurity.
And so that story lived there,stuck in the place that's the
(24:18):
most sensitive part of the body,right?
When we let a lover in, so muchof their energy gets exchanged.
And I just found that sofascinating.
And so for me, that was such aninteresting cue early in this
process.
It was probably in 2020 when Iwhen I had that experience.
Not probably, it's definitely2020, about this time 2020.
And it just solidified to methat so much of what we've been
(24:44):
told to do, like talk therapy,take these medications, is just
band-aiding over root causeissues that are never dealt
with.
And so, how can I expect to feelbetter if I'm not looking at
things like what's stored there?
SPEAKER_00 (24:59):
Yeah.
I assume you're aware of thebook, The Body Keeps the Score.
SPEAKER_01 (25:03):
Yes, I'm aware of it.
I don't recommend it.
Um, I don't recommend it for acouple of reasons.
He's a little, he's a littleproblematic, but the book itself
is incredibly difficult to read.
It's like a textbook for the forthe lay person.
So I recommend Dr.
Peter Levine's Waking the Tiger.
That book is so easy to read.
And Peter Levine's work is thebasis.
(25:24):
He was one of the creators ofsomatic experiencing, which is
really what we're talking abouthere.
And his work was a predecessorto The Body Keeps the Score.
So Bessel's work, you know, hasgained major notoriety.
The Body Keeps the Score is sucha great catchphrase as well.
The book itself, very tricky togo through.
The other book that I'm obsessedwith is called Body First
Healing by Britt Piper.
(25:45):
It came out about a month ago,and her oh, her way of
describing things is sofascinating.
She is a student of PeterLevine's.
unknown (25:54):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (25:54):
Yeah, I've heard of I've read a different book by
Peter Levine.
I can't remember now.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
Awesome.
All right.
And then I was gonna, we couldeither go into something else or
you can talk about how to reachyou and how to work with you
first, and then we can see ifthere's more topics to cover
after.
SPEAKER_01 (26:09):
Yeah, sure.
You can talk, we can do that.
So um, the easy way to get intouch with me is through
Instagram or TikTok.
On Instagram, it's at LeslieDraffin, TikTok, I'm the womb
mystic.
I have a bunch of free guidesthat I'd love to give you for
show notes.
One on the shift method, whichis a nine-minute somatic
practice I created when my dogdied.
(26:30):
Um, because he was a bigco-regulator for me.
This dog is like my soulmatedog.
And when he passed away, I wasin such a deep state of grief.
I knew microdosing wasabsolutely out of the question
because it can make acutesensations like grief, sadness,
anxiety, depression a little bitworse.
And so I created this practicethat's two minutes of
(26:51):
journaling, three minutes ofbreath work, and four minutes of
movement to be a really tinydaily anchor for myself to
process the emotions I wasexperiencing through the loss of
him.
And I've shared it with myclients and with thousands of
people on the internet.
Um, and it's reallysurprisingly, although maybe not
surprisingly, it is reallyimpactful for those of us with
(27:13):
ADHD.
Because if you're someone whotries to sit down for a
10-minute guided meditation andyour mind wanders immediately,
using two minutes to bulletjournal, just brain dump that
stuff onto the page as you seekout sensations in the body and
just notice what's coming up foryou.
Three minutes of breath workthat's super simple.
In through the nose, out throughthe mouth, that's it.
(27:34):
And then let your body move inwhatever way it wants to once
you have come up with thosesensations.
It just flows really well.
And so for me, I've been able toprocess grief, of course, anger.
Anger's a big one, but also it'sreally nice for just every day
when you need a little energyboost because it's simple.
(27:54):
Just with the free guide,there's countless playlists that
I have curated.
That's three songs.
The first song you journal, thesecond song you breathe, the
third song you move.
And I've had people doing thatfor like weeks and weeks on end,
and just that can be such alovely way to get out of the
head and into the body.
SPEAKER_00 (28:11):
Yeah, sounds like it.
Yeah, thank you for sharingthat.
Sure.
Anything any other things toshare about how to reach you, or
that's that's I have a podcastcalled The Light Within.
SPEAKER_01 (28:21):
Um, and then I have a website, LeslieDraffin.com.
unknown (28:25):
Okay.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (28:25):
Awesome.
And then I did want to bring upthe I know you talked about
sexual shame, and then you alsomentioned about the herpes.
Do you want to just share aboutthat?
Sure.
SPEAKER_01 (28:34):
Yeah, so one of the big things that I uncovered in
the leaving of birth control washow much my herpes diagnosis had
really deeply impacted the waythat I was moving in the world.
So I got herpes four weeks afterlosing my virginity.
And as a preacher's daughterfrom the deep south of the
United States, that was deeplyshameful.
(28:56):
I felt so dirty, so unworthy, sodisgusting.
And I was a freshman in college.
This is 2005.
We were not talking about thatshit back then.
And so I just immediatelydetached from the body.
When I was in therapy decadeslater, I used to, I remember
this one time my therapist hadme like outline the body like a
(29:18):
crime scene and like color in,shade in the different parts of
the body.
And I was like, Well, my headwas bright yellow, everything
else was shaded gray, and therewas a big red X that I put over
the genitals.
And she's like, This isincredibly telling.
This this proves to me that youcompletely are disconnected from
the body.
(29:38):
It was not safe.
So instead, what I did in myearly 20s is abuse alcohol,
abuse Adderall, fall even deeperinto my eating disorder, and
that was all private, right?
Publicly, I am a classicoverachiever, a classic
perfectionist, and I climb thecorporate ladder in the
television news industry toeventually become a main anchor,
(30:01):
making six figures.
And yet, what's so interestingto me is how every move I was
making was to prove to peoplethat I was lovable, to prove to
people that I was worthy oftheir of their love, of their
respect.
And in terms Internally, I feltdisgusting.
I hated myself.
And so after I came off of birthcontrol and I started to do the
(30:23):
work with Rosie with thecervical dearmoring, a lot of
things came up around how much Iwas unable to receive pleasure
because I felt so disgusting andunworthy of it.
And so for me, that's why Iasked mushrooms to come into my
life.
I had heard a woman on a podcastwhose name is Bijou Fenny talk
about the healing power ofmushrooms for sexual shame.
(30:44):
And I immediately had her on myshow.
And then the second we hung upthe call, I hired her.
I'm like, we've got to do thiswork.
And the first thing that I'llsay though is you can ask
mushrooms to give you anything,but they're gonna give you what
you need, not what you want orwhat you ask for.
And so I asked to please let mebe open to receiving pleasure.
And they were like, Well, you'renot really open to receiving
(31:07):
anything.
You're so closed off you can'treceive anything.
So it can't give you pleasureuntil you learn to just simply
receive.
And so in 2022, when I beganthis journey, it was an absolute
shit show.
Um, it was very tumultuous, uh,deep anxiety, deep PTSD, deep
burnout.
I left my TV job of 15 career,uh, 15 years.
(31:30):
I went through an experience oflosing two dogs back to back,
deep grief, and still themushroom sat with me and showed
me how much I'd been wearingsuccess as a badge of honor.
But really, what it was was thisbody armor I'd put on to protect
me from my brokenness.
And they needed to break thatapart in order for me to
(31:51):
actually understand that it wassafe to be vulnerable, that it
was safe to ask for help, thatit was safe to show up fully as
my authentic self, because thosewho were gonna love me were
gonna love me regardless.
And those who weren't weren'tfor me.
And I'm not gonna be, I'm notgonna lie, it was hard.
It was hard.
It was lots of snot-filled,teary nights.
(32:13):
And that's really how I startedto uncover sort of how potent
this like trifecta is of thebody-based work plus the
psychedelic work plus the workwith the womb and the cycle.
SPEAKER_00 (32:26):
Yeah.
Yeah, it does sound veryimpactful and enlightening.
Yeah.
Yes.
And um, is there anything moreto say about it, or do you want
to do like kind of a closingcomments just to takeaway kind
of thing or not for that yet?
SPEAKER_01 (32:41):
Well, what I'll say is that, you know, one of the
reasons why psychedelics arehelpful for shame is because of
what we talked about before inthe way they work in the brain.
So if your default mode network,which is that high-level
processing center in the brainwhere your deeply ingrained
beliefs live, if shame livesthere and it's lived there for a
long time, chances are it'sdeeply impacting lots of areas
(33:04):
of your life, like it wasimpacting mine.
And chances are that theaffirmations and talk therapy
you're trying to do to get ridof that shame, aren't really
working that well.
And so why psychedelics help isbecause it softens that part of
the body, part of the brain, andallows the other parts of the
brain to come online so that youcan start to do work like
(33:26):
affirmations or like sensualpleasure work.
That's for me what really helpedis sensual pleasure work paired
with psychedelic medicine tocreate safety in the body so
that my brain started toremember okay, it's safe to feel
pleasure.
You deserve to feel pleasure,you're worthy of feeling
pleasure.
As I began those those types ofrituals paired with
(33:47):
psychedelics, that's for me whenit started to, you know, bridge
the gap and when when the shamebegan to go away.
The other thing that helped mewith my shame was starting to
talk about it openly.
When I came out of the herpescloset and told everyone on the
internet that I have herpes, um,which is a deeply wild way to go
about it, and I wouldn'trecommend it for everybody,
(34:08):
especially if you're not ready.
That was deeply healing becausefor me, that was no longer a
wound.
I'd been working for two yearsto make this no longer a wound,
but to turn it into a scar.
And when it became a scar, Icould, I could share it because
it wasn't gonna hurt me anymore.
And I also was so privileged tohave a fabulous support system.
I knew my husband wasn't gonnalove me any less if I told the
whole world I had herpes.
(34:29):
Not a lot of people can saythat, maybe.
And so I wouldn't necessarilysay a healing uh you have to
talk about this openly to healit.
But for me, that was a part ofthe story that I that I needed
to share.
And it's paid off not only myown life, but it's paid off
because I needed me when I was18.
(34:49):
I was deeply depressed.
I was as I don't want to say Iwas suicidal, but I had these
fantasies of completely justdisappearing from my life.
I I really tried to plot out.
I was like, if I drain my bankaccount slowly and they won't be
able to like know.
And if I take my car and justlike check out of college and
never have to see a singleperson who knows me ever again,
(35:11):
wow, that would be so freeing.
Like I had those fantasies.
And so I needed me at 18.
And that's really the mainreason why I felt like it was so
necessary to talk about this.
And you know how many girls havecome into the DMs saying, oh my
gosh, this this has happened tome?
Countless.
Like, damn, that's all it took.
And so for me, if you aresomeone who's also experiencing
(35:33):
shame in whatever way shamelooks, right, I understand that
silence is a survival technique.
And so if you're not in a placethat feels safe to share about
the shame, you should definitelyfind other ways to cope with it.
But if you're in a space whereyou're finally safe enough to
let that shame out of thecloset, who knows who're gonna
be helping if you speak yourtruth?
And that was for me deeplyhealing.
SPEAKER_00 (35:54):
Yeah.
And I mean, it's like 40%, 40 to50% of the population have it.
Oh, yeah, are born with it,especially on their lips.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (36:03):
Yeah.
I mean, so cold sore, HSV1 isactually what I test positive
for.
So I likely got it from oralsex, which is a thing that can
happen.
But in 2005, no one was talkingabout that.
The number of people who haveHSV1 is likely three and four.
And HSV2, which is genitalherpes, um, which is a slightly
(36:23):
different strain of the virus,yeah, we're seeing a ton of
people and even more maybe outthere who are asymptomatic, but
still spreading the virus backand forth.
And so just because we live in adeeply pure, like purity
culture, um, sexual shame-basedculture, for me, I went around
thinking I was never gonna havegood sex.
(36:44):
I was always gonna have to haveprotected sex.
I have safe sex because Iunderstand my body now.
Um, and yet it's still greatsex, right?
Like it was just this, oh man, Ijust remember thinking like I
was never gonna have good sex,but good sex is possible for
sure.
And I needed someone to tell methat.
SPEAKER_00 (37:00):
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
Do you want to consider that thefinal thoughts?
Yeah, that sounds great.
Yeah, I think that wasdefinitely good stuff.
And like I said, once peoplestart talking about it, they're
less shame about it.
Yeah.
All right, well, thank you verymuch for being on.
Lots of great stuff.
And if you love this episode, besure to tell your friends about
it and rate it as well.
And thank you again, Leslie, forbeing on.
(37:22):
Thanks for having me.
All right, thanks everyone.
Bye.
SPEAKER_01 (37:27):
Frank talk! Frank talk sex and dating education.
Welcome to the Straight From the Source's Mouth
podcast where Frank talk aboutsex and dating.
Hello, Tamara here.
Welcome to the show.
Today's guest is Leslie Drafin.
She's a womb mystic and women'ssomatic microdosing guide, and
we'll be talking about her focuson helping people heal trauma
stuck in the body.
Thanks for joining me, Leslie.
SPEAKER_01 (00:21):
Of course.
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
SPEAKER_00 (00:24):
Yes, we haven't had a topic on this exactly.
And I guess the first question,which I would imagine a lot of
people ask, is what exactly is awomb mystic?
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
You know, I define the term womb mystic as someone
who helps people heal their wombtrauma in both scientific and
mystical ways.
I see myself doing that for meand for the people that I work
with.
Also, I think what a womb mysticis, is anyone who understands
(00:54):
that the womb is not just anorgan for reproduction.
It's a space within the bodythat really holds on to your
creative life force energy.
And when we can live inalignment with that space and
let that be the guru of ourlife, everything works better.
Everything.
And so I learned that myselfthrough my own healing journey.
And I'm really happy andprivileged to be able to share
(01:15):
that with others too.
SPEAKER_00 (01:16):
Yeah, I was actually just gonna ask you about your
own journey since you mentionedit.
SPEAKER_01 (01:20):
Yeah.
So my own journey really startedwhen I came off of birth control
and I was in my mid-30s.
So backing up slightly, youknow, my my story is that I'm
adopted and my mom, my mom whoadopted me, didn't have a period
anymore.
She had had several miscarriagesthat resulted in her having a
hysterectomy.
(01:41):
And so I wasn't raised aroundanyone who was bleeding.
My father is a preacher, so Iwas also raised in the church,
and so it was even more taboo totalk about this type of thing.
And so when I finally decided tocome off of hormonal birth
control, which I was on from theage of 18 through 33, 34, in the
middle of the pandemic, I had tolearn everything about the
(02:02):
cycle, things I should have beentaught in school, but I'm from
South Carolina.
The reproductive healtheducation is trash.
And so I had to do a lot ofself-study to figure out what
does this mean for me?
What is my cycle doing?
What does it even mean to livein tune with the cycle?
And so I started very much whatI call in the masculine way,
(02:23):
trying to do everything right,eat the right foods, work out in
the right way.
I tried hundreds of dollars insupplements and did every cuckoo
thing that folks see on theinternet.
And I say cuckoo because I don'tthink it's all necessary.
Truly, I don't.
Um, and what that got me wasmore stress and more burnout.
I was trying to heal by checkingoff things on a to-do list.
And when in reality, I needed tojust slow down and understand
(02:47):
how to really listen to my bodyand listen to the voice of my
womb, which is what I would callthat.
And so fortunately, I found someamazing teachers and understood
finally that my womb didn'treally need me to change what I
ate every week and change myworkout every week and change my
(03:08):
supplements every week, and allof this wild stuff I was trying
to do to get my period backbecause it didn't come back for
about nine months after I quitthe pill.
And in that process, I reallyalso uncovered a lot of shame.
Some stories I had likecompletely forgotten about my
first period and about what itfelt like to be a woman as a
young teenage girl came floodingback to me and really started to
(03:32):
show me how much the body doeshold on to trauma through stored
memories, stored emotions,stored sensations.
And so as I walked the path ofreally connecting to my cycle
and changing my life to fit andalign with that part of myself,
um I noticed a lot of reallyimportant changes.
(03:52):
I felt like I was able toconnect with myself more deeply,
connect with my partner moredeeply, um, who's now my
husband.
And yeah, it really just changeda lot of things that I was never
taught and allowed me to really,I think, um, bridge the gap that
I saw within my feminine energy.
(04:13):
I lived very much in themasculine perfectionist,
overachiever, hustle culture,climbing the corporate ladder.
And this is one of the reasonswhy I've been able to balance
that energy and understand whenit's time to push and when it's
time to rest.
SPEAKER_00 (04:28):
Is that what you meant when you said discovering
how your body works, like thefeminine and masculine side of
it, or and was part of it theactual body of like the cycle
were you different and differenttimes of your cycle?
Both.
SPEAKER_01 (04:40):
For sure, both.
You know, I think understandingthat second part, the body's
cycles, understanding thedifferent phases of the
menstrual cycle, understandingwhat my cycle patterns were,
where I was having morechallenges, um, where I was
having more ease and flow, thensort of mirrored to me, okay,
this might be when I can dothings that feel more outward,
(05:02):
aka more masculine energy-basedtopics, like being on a podcast
or pitching to podcasts, um,marketing for work, creating
content, um, and then viceversa, in the spaces that I was
having more cyclical problems,how can I back off and really
make sure I'm nourishing allparts of me?
SPEAKER_00 (05:22):
And is it standard generally for women to have
certain parts of the cycle thatare definitely good and bad?
SPEAKER_01 (05:27):
Such a good question.
So, no, actually.
And that's one of the thingsthat I really learned is because
I have PCOS.
And so with PCOS, it'spolycystic ovarian syndrome, and
that's generally first umidentified as irregular cycles.
And so I think mine was mostlytriggered by being on the pill
for so long, and so there issomething called post-pill PCOS.
(05:50):
But what I know about my ownbirth mother, she also had PCOS,
so it's probably also ahereditary thing in my line.
Um, but with PCOS, it'sgenerally typical to have a very
long follicular phase.
That's the phase right afteryour period.
When most people feel really,really good, that's when energy
is rising, when you're seeingestrogen slowly rise up until
(06:11):
the ovulation phase whereprogesterone kicks in.
What I noticed is that I wasstaying in follicular for a long
time.
And that's masculine outwardenergy.
And I would be so exhausted bythe time my ovulation would roll
around.
I would be irritable, I would becranky, and it was really
interesting to start seeing howthat affected my luteal phase.
(06:31):
When I got into the lutealphase, which is when most folks
get PMS, I was like thriving.
I felt so happy.
I'm like, okay, now I can do thethings that feel really like
nesting organization.
And it was just an interestingthing to start to track my cycle
and watch my unique patterns.
Now, so with that all said, yes,there are times in the cycle
(06:53):
that folks typically doexperience some cyclical issues.
And that, again, is where PMScomes from.
It's like um usually five to tendays before your bleed.
And the more I talk about thison the internet, the more I see
how many women really dostruggle in that phase.
And so for me, it's been reallyinteresting to note the
(07:15):
differences in my cycle and thedifferences in the people that I
work with, knowing that thething here is everyone's unique.
And when you know what you'regonna be facing month after
month, that's where the poweris.
SPEAKER_00 (07:26):
Yeah, I was definitely one of those people,
PMS, like I would just have theworst cramps ever.
Like I would have to takemedication early to get prepared
for pain.
SPEAKER_01 (07:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:36):
Yeah.
So tricky.
Yeah, for sure.
And is there more to say aboutthat, or did we kind of cover
that?
SPEAKER_01 (07:43):
Sure, we can talk a little bit more about that.
I think what's interesting isyou know, something I uncovered
when I was work with doing thiswork is that a lot of folks
think that PMS is just a given,like just gonna happen for sure,
a predetermined, predestinedplace we're gonna get to once a
month.
And what I found working withpeople is when you start to pay
(08:05):
attention to the cycle and startto be aware of it and honor it,
um, and maybe start to change afew subtle things.
Maybe it's eating somethingslightly different the week
before your period.
Or one of the most common thingsI tell folks is not to have cold
items after you ovulate.
Pain can really be helped prettynaturally in a few cycles.
(08:27):
I've seen people's cramps godown at as much as 60% in one
month.
Um, because I think, and this ismore of the mystical side that's
where the mystic comes in, Ithink that PMS is a sign.
It's a signal that's showing uswhere we are not in alignment,
both physically with possiblyour lifestyle, what we're
(08:48):
eating, what we're drinking,what we're doing, but also how
we're judging ourselves.
And so when things like crampscome up, a few little changes
can all uh in the diet can helpthat.
When mood swings come up, whenirritability comes up, that is
always a sign to me that thereisn't enough space in other
areas of your life and you'renot fully allowing yourself to
(09:10):
feel all of those emotions.
And that's why right before yourperiod, you're you're so
sensitive on the nervous systemlevel.
That's why you freak out.
That's why you flip off your thethe flip off the driver next to
you, that's why you're flippingout on your power or your
partner.
I have done it this week.
So it's like, yeah, that to mewas so interesting.
(09:30):
It's not a pre-gone for uhconclusion that um, a foregone
conclusion that you're gonnahave PMS, but I think it's a
really lovely sign to watch whathappens for you in PMS and when
you can be aware of that andsort of back off from the
triggered reaction and let it bemore of a pause and think, what
could this show me?
(09:51):
That's I think when you can turnthe corner and really have a
much better period.
SPEAKER_00 (09:55):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (09:55):
And do you work with people that have already
stopped, like paramonopausal andmenopausal?
And what that's a huge chunk ofpeople that I work with,
actually.
So the way that my business hasevolved is I began as a
menstrual cycle coach.
And as I did the work withwomen, um, oh, so much trauma
was coming out.
So much stored trauma that maybethey didn't even remember.
(10:18):
Um, and even in little the girlsI was working with, the young
girls, 10, 11, 12 years old, Iwould see them have these
stories of what it meant to be awoman, these stories of whether
it was okay to talk aboutperiods or if it was okay to,
you know, buy tampons in public.
Like even at that tiny young agewhen the society is, you know,
barely had enough time toimprint on them, they were
(10:40):
having these negative, moreshame-filled thoughts and
experiences.
And so when that started tohappen for me, I knew I needed
to expand my own certificationsand my own training to really
look broadly at trauma and lookat somatic-based trauma.
So, why and how the body holdson to the stored trauma, and my
(11:00):
specific focus being the womb,the pelvic region, the genitals.
And so when I started to expandinto that type of work, a lot of
women came to me who no longerwere bleeding, whether it was
because they were umpost-hysterectomy, whether it
was because they had cyclicalissues like PCOS or
(11:20):
endometriosis or fibroids.
And so what I've found withthose women is there's still a
lot of shame.
There's a lot of shame in folkswho had hysterectomies, there's
a lot of grief, especially ifthey were not aware of how
important and powerful the cyclecould be pre-hysterectomy.
Also, if they had reallyproblematic periods, um, if
(11:40):
they've had intense pain, that'swhy I work with a lot of
endometriosis people, um, ifthey've had intense issues with
fertility, which is a PCOSsymptoms often, there's a lot
of, yeah, just stored grief andsadness that maybe they've never
been able to express andrelease.
And so even without a cycle,even without a womb, you can
(12:02):
still begin to let the bodyspeak to you and notice those
sensations and let the storystored in the body have its day
and have its time to be fullyexpressed and felt.
And so I actually, I would sayhalf the people I work with are
those who no longer bleed, andthat's the that's just kind of
the juice.
(12:22):
It's like once you get to thisphase of life, you think it's
over.
You can't access that femininepart of yourself anymore, and
absolutely not.
That's not at all what I'mseeing.
And in fact, I would really saythat those folks who are no
longer in their bleeding yearshave the additional, not
responsibility per se, but likethe additional benefit of now
(12:44):
having this wisdom that they'velived for so long that can they
can share with the youngergeneration, especially when they
do the work to heal what theyhave been storing within them.
SPEAKER_00 (12:53):
Yeah, yeah, I definitely agree.
And is this where healing thebody and healing the trauma, is
that where the psychedelics comein, or is that just a small part
of it, or is that a main part ofit?
SPEAKER_01 (13:05):
You know, I used to say it was a main part of it,
and now I'm sort of in thisplace where psychedelics are an
amazing tool, an amazingcatalyst to help unravel things
within you that have felt stuck.
And so I use them alongsidesomatics, but I don't think
they're um, I don't thinkthey're like a hundred percent
necessary, but everyone that Iwork with does choose to
(13:27):
microdose, right?
That's that's what we do here.
But if you're listening to thisand you're thinking, oof, drugs
bad.
Um, what I would just say isthat psychedelic medicine in the
way that I work with it is atsuch a tiny dose.
You're not hallucinating,tripping high.
You're not at risk of havingsome bad journey, right?
Because you're taking such asmall amount into your body.
(13:48):
But what that's doing when itcomes to healing the body is it
really allows the mind to quietthe hamster wheel of thoughts
that you might be living in,your default mode, where your
habits and your negativeself-talk and maybe your anxiety
and all of the programmed waysthat you have gone about your
life live.
And it's a very rigid placethat's hard to access.
(14:12):
Psilocybin, which is magicmushrooms, helps that space to
quiet down and allows otherparts of the brain to light up
so that you can create newneural pathways.
And I also see it as creatingnew pathways between the brain
and body.
The other thing, another reasonI think it's so impactful, is
because as you find more safetyin the present moment, which can
(14:34):
be really hard if you've livedin fight-flight freeze, but as
you find more safety, as you areallowed to slow down and become
interested and excited aboutevery present moment, when
you're finding joy and bliss inthe teeniest things, which
microdosing is phenomenal for,you're able to do work that
(14:55):
feels scary and uncomfortable ina more gentle way.
And so that's why I thinkpsychedelics are such a
phenomenal ally in the healingjourney.
But again, I don't necessarilythink that they're for everybody
and those who are have a deepfear or are deeply resistant to
doing something that is stillhighly taboo in our place where
(15:16):
where we live.
Um, there are other aspects thatyou can work with too that I
think can achieve just as muchamazing healing.
SPEAKER_00 (15:24):
Yeah, and I'm guessing that's where your the
somatic part comes in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you want to talk more aboutthat?
SPEAKER_01 (15:30):
Yeah.
So somatics is the way that Idefine it, um, mind-body healing
focused on the sensations thatlive in the body and
understanding that, you know, wewalk around thinking that every
thought comes from our head.
But in reality, at least 80% ofthe thoughts we finally
(15:51):
articulate and think started assensations in the body.
And you can note that anxiety isa really, I think, simple way to
um think about that.
If you've ever felt anxiety, andI say felt anxiety because
anxiety is a deeply somaticexperience for a lot of us,
racing heart, tight throat,fluttering chest, feeling like
(16:13):
you're faint, feeling reallyhot, just like going back
through all my anxiety attacks,you know.
So it's a felt sense that thenit's like, oh my gosh, I'm also
thinking worst-case scenariothoughts, ruminating into
catastrophe, that type of thing.
And so when we work with thesensations first, for instance,
with anxiety, what we can do isstart to pinpoint why we're
(16:37):
thinking these thoughts, wherethey started from, and then tend
to the sensation and allow it tomove out of the body so that
some of those underlying reasonsfor anxiety dissipate.
Now, that doesn't meannecessarily that we're gonna
heal anxiety and you're nevergonna feel anxious again.
But what I tend to work with,especially with those folks who
(16:57):
are anxious, especially withmyself, is building up a toolkit
to immediately respond tosensations that come up around
anxiety and then know what'sworking for you to help you
mitigate that and to express it.
So, for example, one thing thatfor me has really been a key
marker of my anxiety is thisfeeling of like hot flush.
(17:22):
Um, just oh, I'll get like red.
And so for me, a key somaticpractice that helps with my
anxiety is immediately gettinginto a cold shower because I'm
cooling the temperature off inthe body and allowing the body
to come back into stasis.
So then I can say, all right,where is this thought?
Where's this feeling living inthe body?
It's in the chest.
What that might be showing me isX, Y, and Z.
(17:42):
So it kind of just helps to calmand um helps you to come up with
what I call the somaticself-care toolbox that will
allow you to navigate thefeelings coming up.
SPEAKER_00 (18:10):
And then how I mean, I I've I've done a little bit of
this where you like getmeditations, yeah, and is that
kind of what you do with it?
SPEAKER_01 (18:19):
Or yeah, so it's meditations, but usually, so and
I'm a trained meditationteacher, what I look at
meditation-wise somatically ismore body scan type meditations
or um movement style meditation,or instead of thinking of
meditation as this clearing thethoughts, clearing the mind, um,
(18:43):
allowing your meditation to bemore based in what you're
feeling in the body, and thenbring it up into the mind.
Okay, what might this pinch inthe back left shoulder might,
what that might be showing me,and what that might be sensing
to me?
Now, when I work with peoplewith psychedelics, one of the
key things we do is they ingesttheir tiny dose and then come to
(19:06):
our virtual session, and I doguide them through a visual
meditation, a guided imagerymeditation, where I'm prompting
them for a few moments, and thenthey are sh they are telling me
what it is that they're seeingand sensing.
And then we let those sensationsand those um images guide us
(19:27):
through a very weaving journeyinto what it is that they might
be needing to see or feel orexperience.
So it's a little bit more than Ithink what most folks categorize
as meditation.
Um, I actually don't really callwhat I do meditating, I I call
it um somatic embodiment, but itis a very meditative practice.
SPEAKER_00 (19:47):
Yeah, and definitely more active, like you're saying.
Yeah, just looking through theor feeling the I in high school
I was a diver and we had to liketense certain parts like
throughout our body, like taketurns tensing in certain areas.
SPEAKER_01 (20:00):
Yes, which is another amazing tool for
anxiety, muscle relaxing, muscletensing, and also if you have
problems sleeping, it's a greatsomatic practice for that.
SPEAKER_00 (20:09):
Okay, good to know.
Is there more to say on thispart of it, or I was gonna bring
up the go ahead.
SPEAKER_01 (20:17):
On the somatic practice part, I think I could
share a story about how I knewfor certain that I was holding
on to somatic memory, if you'dlike.
Okay.
So when I came off of hormonalbirth control, the big symptom
that I said was really deeplyimpacting most areas of my life
was a complete lack of libido.
I was just numb, completely numbdown there.
(20:40):
And I found it so strange that II could feel very little in the
clitoris or vulva area.
And so I began studying with awoman named Rosie Reese, who's
out of Australia, and one of thethings that she really talked a
lot about was something known ascervical dearmoring.
Now, this is also really just atrigger point massage that it's
(21:01):
both on the outside of thevulva, which if you're
unfamiliar with what the vulvais, it's pretty much everything
you see on the outside of yourgenitals, and an internal
vaginal massage, which is in thevaginal canal.
Now, what this does is it helpsto release any stored emotions,
any stored memories.
And just like if you've ever hada massage and you've left
(21:22):
crying, or you have felt, youknow, some flood of emotion or
anxiety come up while you'regetting that body work done,
similar things can happen whenyou're working with cervical
dearmoring.
Now, I will also caution thisstore this tale with this was an
elite level skill that Iprobably wasn't ready for, to be
completely honest.
And I don't teach this to peopleunless they're in my one-on-one
(21:44):
and we're far along in theone-on-one.
This is a this is an advancedpractice.
But, you know, I had set up myroom, I had let like turned off
all the lights, I had somereally lovely candles, I was
very much making it a sensualpractice, not necessarily a
sexual practice with a goal oforgasm whatsoever, but I wanted
it to be sensual and soft andsafe and quiet.
(22:06):
And so with a certain type ofglass wand, glass dildo, you
basically begin by mapping outthe vulva or the yoni region,
thinking of it like a clock.
So 12, 6, 3, 9.
And starting on the outside, youpress the ball of the glass
dildo onto the space, hold itwith a little bit of pressure
(22:29):
and breathe, waiting for about aminute or two.
And then you move it to threeo'clock, wait for a minute or
two, move it to six, move it tonine.
Then maybe you enter into thevaginal canal just a little bit,
half an inch, again, 12, 3, 6,9, working in that clock light
factor to really just bringpressure, breath, and awareness
to the space.
(22:49):
That was the practice.
I get about two inches into myvaginal canal, and I feel a
pinch, like pins and needles, inthe upper right quadrant of my
vagin vaginal canal.
And I immediately hear a voicesay, You fat bitch.
I'm like, what is this?
It was an ex-boyfriend that Ihad had after I got divorced who
(23:13):
was a classic narcissist.
And I'm like, oh my God, I havenot consciously thought of this
man in five years.
Yet there it was.
There was that stored memory.
It came with the pinch, it camewith that negative, that
negative talk.
And oh, I just cried, I releasedit, I continued to put pressure
there.
And again, I think it wasprobably at like right at the 12
(23:36):
o'clock time the 12 o'clock parton the clock.
As I moved around and thenstayed there and moved back
around again, I could feelnothing.
And so I'm like, okay, thatmight have been released and
processed.
But that was the first time Ireally connected the dots
between stored memory and thefascia of the body and how I was
(23:58):
living my life.
I did feel like a fat bitchsometimes.
I have had a long history ofeating disorders.
This man knew the things to tellme.
I was like 120 pounds when I metthis man.
I was not fat, probably a bitch,but who cares?
And so he knew that.
And that was speaking to mydeepest insecurity.
And so that story lived there,stuck in the place that's the
(24:18):
most sensitive part of the body,right?
When we let a lover in, so muchof their energy gets exchanged.
And I just found that sofascinating.
And so for me, that was such aninteresting cue early in this
process.
It was probably in 2020 when Iwhen I had that experience.
Not probably, it's definitely2020, about this time 2020.
And it just solidified to methat so much of what we've been
(24:44):
told to do, like talk therapy,take these medications, is just
band-aiding over root causeissues that are never dealt
with.
And so, how can I expect to feelbetter if I'm not looking at
things like what's stored there?
SPEAKER_00 (24:59):
Yeah.
I assume you're aware of thebook, The Body Keeps the Score.
SPEAKER_01 (25:03):
Yes, I'm aware of it.
I don't recommend it.
Um, I don't recommend it for acouple of reasons.
He's a little, he's a littleproblematic, but the book itself
is incredibly difficult to read.
It's like a textbook for the forthe lay person.
So I recommend Dr.
Peter Levine's Waking the Tiger.
That book is so easy to read.
And Peter Levine's work is thebasis.
(25:24):
He was one of the creators ofsomatic experiencing, which is
really what we're talking abouthere.
And his work was a predecessorto The Body Keeps the Score.
So Bessel's work, you know, hasgained major notoriety.
The Body Keeps the Score is sucha great catchphrase as well.
The book itself, very tricky togo through.
The other book that I'm obsessedwith is called Body First
Healing by Britt Piper.
(25:45):
It came out about a month ago,and her oh, her way of
describing things is sofascinating.
She is a student of PeterLevine's.
unknown (25:54):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (25:54):
Yeah, I've heard of I've read a different book by
Peter Levine.
I can't remember now.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
Awesome.
All right.
And then I was gonna, we couldeither go into something else or
you can talk about how to reachyou and how to work with you
first, and then we can see ifthere's more topics to cover
after.
SPEAKER_01 (26:09):
Yeah, sure.
You can talk, we can do that.
So um, the easy way to get intouch with me is through
Instagram or TikTok.
On Instagram, it's at LeslieDraffin, TikTok, I'm the womb
mystic.
I have a bunch of free guidesthat I'd love to give you for
show notes.
One on the shift method, whichis a nine-minute somatic
practice I created when my dogdied.
(26:30):
Um, because he was a bigco-regulator for me.
This dog is like my soulmatedog.
And when he passed away, I wasin such a deep state of grief.
I knew microdosing wasabsolutely out of the question
because it can make acutesensations like grief, sadness,
anxiety, depression a little bitworse.
And so I created this practicethat's two minutes of
(26:51):
journaling, three minutes ofbreath work, and four minutes of
movement to be a really tinydaily anchor for myself to
process the emotions I wasexperiencing through the loss of
him.
And I've shared it with myclients and with thousands of
people on the internet.
Um, and it's reallysurprisingly, although maybe not
surprisingly, it is reallyimpactful for those of us with
(27:13):
ADHD.
Because if you're someone whotries to sit down for a
10-minute guided meditation andyour mind wanders immediately,
using two minutes to bulletjournal, just brain dump that
stuff onto the page as you seekout sensations in the body and
just notice what's coming up foryou.
Three minutes of breath workthat's super simple.
In through the nose, out throughthe mouth, that's it.
(27:34):
And then let your body move inwhatever way it wants to once
you have come up with thosesensations.
It just flows really well.
And so for me, I've been able toprocess grief, of course, anger.
Anger's a big one, but also it'sreally nice for just every day
when you need a little energyboost because it's simple.
(27:54):
Just with the free guide,there's countless playlists that
I have curated.
That's three songs.
The first song you journal, thesecond song you breathe, the
third song you move.
And I've had people doing thatfor like weeks and weeks on end,
and just that can be such alovely way to get out of the
head and into the body.
SPEAKER_00 (28:11):
Yeah, sounds like it.
Yeah, thank you for sharingthat.
Sure.
Anything any other things toshare about how to reach you, or
that's that's I have a podcastcalled The Light Within.
SPEAKER_01 (28:21):
Um, and then I have a website, LeslieDraffin.com.
unknown (28:25):
Okay.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (28:25):
Awesome.
And then I did want to bring upthe I know you talked about
sexual shame, and then you alsomentioned about the herpes.
Do you want to just share aboutthat?
Sure.
SPEAKER_01 (28:34):
Yeah, so one of the big things that I uncovered in
the leaving of birth control washow much my herpes diagnosis had
really deeply impacted the waythat I was moving in the world.
So I got herpes four weeks afterlosing my virginity.
And as a preacher's daughterfrom the deep south of the
United States, that was deeplyshameful.
(28:56):
I felt so dirty, so unworthy, sodisgusting.
And I was a freshman in college.
This is 2005.
We were not talking about thatshit back then.
And so I just immediatelydetached from the body.
When I was in therapy decadeslater, I used to, I remember
this one time my therapist hadme like outline the body like a
(29:18):
crime scene and like color in,shade in the different parts of
the body.
And I was like, Well, my headwas bright yellow, everything
else was shaded gray, and therewas a big red X that I put over
the genitals.
And she's like, This isincredibly telling.
This this proves to me that youcompletely are disconnected from
the body.
(29:38):
It was not safe.
So instead, what I did in myearly 20s is abuse alcohol,
abuse Adderall, fall even deeperinto my eating disorder, and
that was all private, right?
Publicly, I am a classicoverachiever, a classic
perfectionist, and I climb thecorporate ladder in the
television news industry toeventually become a main anchor,
(30:01):
making six figures.
And yet, what's so interestingto me is how every move I was
making was to prove to peoplethat I was lovable, to prove to
people that I was worthy oftheir of their love, of their
respect.
And in terms Internally, I feltdisgusting.
I hated myself.
And so after I came off of birthcontrol and I started to do the
(30:23):
work with Rosie with thecervical dearmoring, a lot of
things came up around how much Iwas unable to receive pleasure
because I felt so disgusting andunworthy of it.
And so for me, that's why Iasked mushrooms to come into my
life.
I had heard a woman on a podcastwhose name is Bijou Fenny talk
about the healing power ofmushrooms for sexual shame.
(30:44):
And I immediately had her on myshow.
And then the second we hung upthe call, I hired her.
I'm like, we've got to do thiswork.
And the first thing that I'llsay though is you can ask
mushrooms to give you anything,but they're gonna give you what
you need, not what you want orwhat you ask for.
And so I asked to please let mebe open to receiving pleasure.
And they were like, Well, you'renot really open to receiving
(31:07):
anything.
You're so closed off you can'treceive anything.
So it can't give you pleasureuntil you learn to just simply
receive.
And so in 2022, when I beganthis journey, it was an absolute
shit show.
Um, it was very tumultuous, uh,deep anxiety, deep PTSD, deep
burnout.
I left my TV job of 15 career,uh, 15 years.
(31:30):
I went through an experience oflosing two dogs back to back,
deep grief, and still themushroom sat with me and showed
me how much I'd been wearingsuccess as a badge of honor.
But really, what it was was thisbody armor I'd put on to protect
me from my brokenness.
And they needed to break thatapart in order for me to
(31:51):
actually understand that it wassafe to be vulnerable, that it
was safe to ask for help, thatit was safe to show up fully as
my authentic self, because thosewho were gonna love me were
gonna love me regardless.
And those who weren't weren'tfor me.
And I'm not gonna be, I'm notgonna lie, it was hard.
It was hard.
It was lots of snot-filled,teary nights.
(32:13):
And that's really how I startedto uncover sort of how potent
this like trifecta is of thebody-based work plus the
psychedelic work plus the workwith the womb and the cycle.
SPEAKER_00 (32:26):
Yeah.
Yeah, it does sound veryimpactful and enlightening.
Yeah.
Yes.
And um, is there anything moreto say about it, or do you want
to do like kind of a closingcomments just to takeaway kind
of thing or not for that yet?
SPEAKER_01 (32:41):
Well, what I'll say is that, you know, one of the
reasons why psychedelics arehelpful for shame is because of
what we talked about before inthe way they work in the brain.
So if your default mode network,which is that high-level
processing center in the brainwhere your deeply ingrained
beliefs live, if shame livesthere and it's lived there for a
long time, chances are it'sdeeply impacting lots of areas
(33:04):
of your life, like it wasimpacting mine.
And chances are that theaffirmations and talk therapy
you're trying to do to get ridof that shame, aren't really
working that well.
And so why psychedelics help isbecause it softens that part of
the body, part of the brain, andallows the other parts of the
brain to come online so that youcan start to do work like
(33:26):
affirmations or like sensualpleasure work.
That's for me what really helpedis sensual pleasure work paired
with psychedelic medicine tocreate safety in the body so
that my brain started toremember okay, it's safe to feel
pleasure.
You deserve to feel pleasure,you're worthy of feeling
pleasure.
As I began those those types ofrituals paired with
(33:47):
psychedelics, that's for me whenit started to, you know, bridge
the gap and when when the shamebegan to go away.
The other thing that helped mewith my shame was starting to
talk about it openly.
When I came out of the herpescloset and told everyone on the
internet that I have herpes, um,which is a deeply wild way to go
about it, and I wouldn'trecommend it for everybody,
(34:08):
especially if you're not ready.
That was deeply healing becausefor me, that was no longer a
wound.
I'd been working for two yearsto make this no longer a wound,
but to turn it into a scar.
And when it became a scar, Icould, I could share it because
it wasn't gonna hurt me anymore.
And I also was so privileged tohave a fabulous support system.
I knew my husband wasn't gonnalove me any less if I told the
whole world I had herpes.
(34:29):
Not a lot of people can saythat, maybe.
And so I wouldn't necessarilysay a healing uh you have to
talk about this openly to healit.
But for me, that was a part ofthe story that I that I needed
to share.
And it's paid off not only myown life, but it's paid off
because I needed me when I was18.
(34:49):
I was deeply depressed.
I was as I don't want to say Iwas suicidal, but I had these
fantasies of completely justdisappearing from my life.
I I really tried to plot out.
I was like, if I drain my bankaccount slowly and they won't be
able to like know.
And if I take my car and justlike check out of college and
never have to see a singleperson who knows me ever again,
(35:11):
wow, that would be so freeing.
Like I had those fantasies.
And so I needed me at 18.
And that's really the mainreason why I felt like it was so
necessary to talk about this.
And you know how many girls havecome into the DMs saying, oh my
gosh, this this has happened tome?
Countless.
Like, damn, that's all it took.
And so for me, if you aresomeone who's also experiencing
(35:33):
shame in whatever way shamelooks, right, I understand that
silence is a survival technique.
And so if you're not in a placethat feels safe to share about
the shame, you should definitelyfind other ways to cope with it.
But if you're in a space whereyou're finally safe enough to
let that shame out of thecloset, who knows who're gonna
be helping if you speak yourtruth?
And that was for me deeplyhealing.
SPEAKER_00 (35:54):
Yeah.
And I mean, it's like 40%, 40 to50% of the population have it.
Oh, yeah, are born with it,especially on their lips.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (36:03):
Yeah.
I mean, so cold sore, HSV1 isactually what I test positive
for.
So I likely got it from oralsex, which is a thing that can
happen.
But in 2005, no one was talkingabout that.
The number of people who haveHSV1 is likely three and four.
And HSV2, which is genitalherpes, um, which is a slightly
(36:23):
different strain of the virus,yeah, we're seeing a ton of
people and even more maybe outthere who are asymptomatic, but
still spreading the virus backand forth.
And so just because we live in adeeply pure, like purity
culture, um, sexual shame-basedculture, for me, I went around
thinking I was never gonna havegood sex.
(36:44):
I was always gonna have to haveprotected sex.
I have safe sex because Iunderstand my body now.
Um, and yet it's still greatsex, right?
Like it was just this, oh man, Ijust remember thinking like I
was never gonna have good sex,but good sex is possible for
sure.
And I needed someone to tell methat.
SPEAKER_00 (37:00):
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
Do you want to consider that thefinal thoughts?
Yeah, that sounds great.
Yeah, I think that wasdefinitely good stuff.
And like I said, once peoplestart talking about it, they're
less shame about it.
Yeah.
All right, well, thank you verymuch for being on.
Lots of great stuff.
And if you love this episode, besure to tell your friends about
it and rate it as well.
And thank you again, Leslie, forbeing on.
(37:22):
Thanks for having me.
All right, thanks everyone.
Bye.
SPEAKER_01 (37:27):
Frank talk! Frank talk sex and dating education.
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