December 30, 2025 • 31 mins
What if you could tell in under 90 seconds whether a date shares your core values—or if your communication styles will keep clashing no matter how hard you try? We sit down with business coach and trainer Joe Kavanaugh to unpack BANK, a four-code framework that decodes values fast and reframes dating from guesswork to clarity. Instead of vague chemistry tests, you get a practical way to read tendencies—Blueprint, Action, Nurturing, Knowledge—and tailor your approach without faking who you are.
Whether you’re tired of wasting time on mismatched dates or simply want fewer arguments and more connection, this episode gives you tools you can use tonight. We also share a free link to get your personalized report and explain how to read someone quickly and kindly on a first date. Ready to speak the right language for the right person and choose compatibility with confidence? Hit play, subscribe for more straight talk on sex, dating, and psychology, and share this with a friend who needs a better way to spot a match.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth
Podcast.
Frank talk about sex and dating.
Hello, Tamra here.
Welcome to the show.
Today's guest is Joe Kavanaugh,business coach, mentor, and
trainer.
We'll be talking about how toget to know your date's value
system and personalitytendencies in less than 90
seconds.
(00:20):
And that can help you know ifyour date is a match.
Thanks for joining me, Joe.
SPEAKER_01 (00:24):
Hey, thank you, Tamra.
It's an honor to be on your showwith you.
So I appreciate that very much.
SPEAKER_00 (00:29):
Thank you.
Yes.
I'm looking forward to hearingmore about the how you can
discover this, because I'm surea lot of people would rather not
waste their time and justdecide, you know, pretty early
on if it's gonna at leastpotential.
Yes, I agree.
And how and how how do you howdid how either how did you get
started in this or how does itwork?
SPEAKER_01 (00:51):
Which one do you want to go with?
So um how did I get into this?
All right.
I have been in, first of all, alittle background on me.
I've been in sales all my lifeand very successful at it.
I've also been an entrepreneur,I bought and sold multiple
successful businesses, and I'mat a point in my life now where
I don't need to work, honestly,but I love to help people.
(01:12):
So I started coaching.
And initially it started outprimarily focusing on business
coaching, how to help businesspeople get better.
But what we started to find outwas we were actually helping
people with their relationshipsas much as we were with their
business decisions.
And when I talk on stage, Ioften talk about business
(01:33):
problems are personal problems,and personal problems are
business problems.
You can't separate the two,they're intertwined because you
you hold them up here.
So you take them home with you,you take your personal problems
to work, etc.
And so a methodology that wefound out about, it's a system
called Bank.
It's an acronym.
And the lady that was on stageuh talking about this and
(01:57):
selling it, it was a businesstool.
It was how to relate to peoplequicker so you can build that
rapport faster and close moredeals in less time.
That was the tagline for it.
And I thought I'm in sales, thiswill help me.
And it did.
But we soon found out, as I wassaying, that it was helping
people understand each other.
(02:18):
I'm I'm in I've been in realestate a long time, and I had a
client call me one night on aFriday, and they said, Joe, we
loved what you show told usabout this methodology.
They each got their reports andsaid, We're gonna have a date
tonight at home and we're gonnaread each other's reports.
And then they called me two dayslater and they say it was
unbelievable the things thatthey discovered about each other
(02:41):
that helped their relationship.
And so at that point, I said,okay, this is as much what
helping people save theirrelationship as it is anything
else.
So let me just give you a quickintroduction of what it's about.
There's so many assessments outthere, personality assessments,
and I'm sure we've all taken atleast one or two or three.
You got Disk and you got uhMyers Briggs and you got the
(03:04):
color code and the animals,everything else, right?
Every one of those tests, when Itake them, they tell me about
me.
But Tamara, if I want to ask youout and I want to I want to get
a relationship going with you, Idon't want to know more about
me, I want to know who you are,right?
So this lady worked on this andshe created this very simple
(03:25):
system that's basicallyreverse-engineered all those
other personality assessments soI can find out who you are in
less than 90 seconds.
How do we do that?
There are multiple ways.
The easiest way, if we met inperson, and I would just say,
Tamara, would you do me a favorand play a fun little game with
(03:45):
me?
Who doesn't like to have fun,right?
So, what I do is I hand themthese four cards, and if you
notice, each of these cards hasa set of values on them.
And I see that we're backwardshere, so if you can read
backwards, that's fine.
And each one's different, okay?
And the reason it's called bankis this is an acronym because
there are four personalityprimary groups.
(04:08):
One is the blueprint, and that'sthe B in bank.
And these people, these are yourplanners.
Uh, they want systems in place,they want processes, they want
people they can trust, sotradition, titles, duty, all
that.
They're also risk-adverse, theydon't like to take chances.
The next one, the A in bank, ispretty much the opposite of the
(04:30):
blueprint.
They love freedom, flexibility,and oh, and that's the other
thing.
We use an analogy of a box,okay?
The blueprint type person, theystay inside the box because they
like to follow the rules.
All right, rules are meant to befollowed.
The action person, which is me,by the way, they say box, what
(04:52):
box?
You're not putting me in anybox.
I want to blow it up withdynamite, right?
Because they love fun, freedom,flexibility, excitement, uh,
winning.
They like to be the center ofattention.
If you know somebody that you uhhear them before they come into
the room, typically an actionperson, right?
And the N Bank is for anurturing type person.
(05:14):
These people like authenticityand they like um personal growth
and they like working with atribe.
They call their friends a tribe,and they like to give back and
support people.
Um, they don't live inside thebox, they don't blow it up.
They're the kind of people thatwill recycle the box.
(05:35):
Those are your real nurturingpeople.
Think sunflowers, you know,golden sunshine, all that.
So those are those kind ofpeople.
And uh those people, or theaction people, they want to
break the rules, okay?
The nurturing people, they willbend the rules.
They'll they got some leeway,they want to support everybody
and make them happy.
And then the Cayenne Bank, thisis your knowledge type person.
(05:58):
Now, if you're one of these andyou like learning and
intelligence, logic, all thatself-mastery, you're typically
the smartest person in the room.
So congratulations to you.
However, these people are alsothe ones that tend to be the
wallflowers, they're not,they're kind of not really
antisocial, but they don'treally like small talk and
chit-chat, things like that.
(06:20):
And what did they do with thebox?
Well, without them, you wouldn'thave a box because they're the
ones who engineered it.
They created the box.
So you get a little taste of thefour basic groups.
And I had you do the a quickquiz for me online.
We have a link, you can do itonline.
We just drag the cards intoplace.
(06:41):
And based on your code, Tamara,the way you did it, you're more
the uh blueprint, the planningtype person, and the person that
likes to learn a lot.
And you you had said that beforewe came on the show, we're in
the green room, is you you justlove to learn things, okay?
And you probably have systems inplace, you're an Excel
spreadsheet type girl orwhatever, and you've got that
(07:03):
going.
Now, the thing to remember iswe're not just one or two, we're
a combination of all four.
SPEAKER_00 (07:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (07:10):
So there's 24 different combinations based on
these four cards for those I Kpeople that are thinking.
And um the other aspect of thatis these two types of people
that are primarily one of these,these are typically people who
are up here in the head.
They're thinkers, okay?
Uh matter of fact, yourknowledge people, they can often
(07:32):
get analysis paralysis.
They can't make up their mindbecause they don't want to be
wrong.
They like to be right abouteverything.
Whereas you're nurturing andyour action type people, these
are more your emotional typepeople.
They live a little bit more downin the heart.
Whereas you're nurturing, theycare about everybody.
They're into charity,nonprofits, things like that.
(07:52):
And the action person is like,wow, we just, you know, if we
can break a rule, we're gonnabreak a rule type thing.
And they just they're veryemotional.
They can fly off the deep endreal quick and snap on you at
the spur of a moment, and I seeyou smiling, so you probably
know somebody like that.
Does this remind you of anybodyyou know, Tim?
SPEAKER_00 (08:10):
Well, that's what I was saying early on.
Like, I'm so many, like I'm alittle bit of all of them.
I am that person that flies offthe handle, or I can.
So I'm I'm a little I I lovefreedom, it's like a high value
for me as well.
So I'm like a little bit ofeach.
SPEAKER_01 (08:24):
Yes, yes, exactly.
As as I am, as we all are.
Now you said sometimes you canfly off the handle.
Think about a time that you didthat.
Were you stressed?
SPEAKER_00 (08:53):
Yeah, I mean, not stressed per se, but like just
like upset about the waysomething was going.
So I guess yeah, you're gonna beable to do that.
SPEAKER_01 (09:00):
Your EQ went low, so emotions ran high, right?
Yeah, yeah, a little bit ofthat.
And that lines up perfectly withyour coat because one of the
things that we tell people whenthey take the training on this
is that third position istypically where you go when
you're in stress.
And in this case, action wasyour third position, so you get
(09:21):
emotional quickly and you could,yeah.
I I'm Irish, I have that Irishtemper.
Um, of course I've learned totemper it with age.
And um, but yeah, that's kind ofthe dark side, as we call it, to
the codes.
So the beauty of this is you canfigure out pretty much anybody's
code, sometimes even before youmeet them, if you're trained on
(09:42):
it.
And when you're trained on it, Ishould say.
But if not, I've brought thisthese cards to networking
events, and as soon as somebodysays, uh, what do you do for
work?
And I say, Well, let me showyou.
And I hand them the cards.
The next thing you know, I'vegot a crowd of people around me.
Hey, can I do that card trick?
So it and because that's thething, so who's gonna do that?
(10:02):
Everybody will do it.
There's a couple of reasons forthat.
One, the you who's the subjectmatter in this case?
It's you.
SPEAKER_00 (10:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:11):
And what's people's favorite subject?
SPEAKER_00 (10:14):
Themselves.
SPEAKER_01 (10:15):
Exactly.
So for that reason.
And I always tell them, I said,would just have a little fun
with me and play a quick game.
And I think most people like toplay games and have some fun.
So um virtually nobody's everrefused.
Oh, no, I can't say that.
I've I think I've had two peopleout of the hundreds, maybe
thousands I've done.
And both of those werehigh-knowledge people, and they
(10:37):
didn't want to do it becausethey were afraid it was
something that couldn't answercorrectly.
Uh even though there is no wronganswer.
SPEAKER_00 (10:44):
Yeah.
Well, and and online it wassuper fast.
SPEAKER_01 (10:47):
So, I mean, I could see like Yeah, I think you did
it in maybe 30 seconds, if that.
So, yeah, it doesn't take longat all.
Now, how does this tie intodating?
What the heck does this have todo with dating, right?
It has a lot to do with dating,because you can figure out what
your date's personalitytendencies are.
And let me give you a goodexample.
(11:08):
I found myself divorced at 60years old.
And I thought, okay, well,that's it.
I'm done.
Well, I ended up meeting abeautiful woman uh very soon
after that, and ended up gettingmarried again.
And we have a beautifulrelationship, yet there were
things that before we knew this,there were things that I would
(11:30):
do that would irritate her, andI couldn't understand why.
And there were things that shedid that irritated me, and she
couldn't understand why.
And this would start your littlequabbles, and you know, over
time quabbles build up, let'sface it, right?
And then maybe you don't lovethem so much anymore, you have
your doubts and whatnot.
Just happened we got introducedto the system, and we loved it
(11:52):
so much that we signed up tobecome certified trainers in it.
So we soon learned, like, forexample, she has to plan
everything that we're gonna do.
This is one of her top codes.
When I first saw these cards,I'm like, what's this card doing
in the deck?
I I threw it, I literally threwit on the floor.
I said, I don't like I don'tlike to plan anything, and that
(12:15):
irritates her.
I said, How can you just gosomewhere like to go train a
class full of uh realtors, forexample, which I do, and not
know what you're gonna talkabout.
I said, Oh, I'll figure it outas a go.
I'll wing it.
And that's what your action typeperson likes to do.
And action is her last coat,it's my first coat, so we're
(12:36):
total opposites.
And once we started sitting downand talking about why we do what
we do, it's our personality.
The tagline that we use in ourtraining is remember, it's not
personal, it's personality.
So now I understand why sheplans.
And the example I used to use alot, which it doesn't apply so
(12:58):
much anymore, but in thebeginning it did.
Let's say it's Friday afternoonaround five o'clock.
It's been a great week.
I've had a good, successfulweek, and it's a beautiful
evening out.
I live in Charleston, SouthCarolina.
And I like, hey, why don't we goout and uh go to a rooftop deck
somewhere and we'll sit andwatch the sunset and go out to
dinner?
And she goes, Oh, I can't dothat.
I said, Why not?
(13:18):
Well, I'm not ready.
I said, What are you gonna beready for?
Just throw some clothes out.
But you know, she's got to doher makeup, she didn't wash her
hair, it's all these things,right?
Doesn't know what to wear.
And that used to aggravate mebecause I'd like spur of the
moment, yeah, let's go, right?
And so I learned that to solvethat problem, I would suggest it
(13:38):
to her maybe on Tuesday orWednesday, and say, you know
what, the weather's looking goodFriday.
We don't have anything elseplanned.
Would you like to go out todinner?
Then she'll decide on doing it.
So this is just a little exampleof how you can solve fights,
problems, disagreements,whatever it might be.
(14:00):
And um, it works wonders.
SPEAKER_00 (14:02):
Yeah.
Have you found that it's like asa woman, I could like that's
women's biggest complaint.
We want men to make plans for usand like make reservations and
do a thing.
So have you found that that'strue to be the man-woman thing,
or it can be both sides,depending on your personality, I
guess.
SPEAKER_01 (14:17):
Personally, I've found it to be true.
Now, I do know women that arehigh action like me, and they'll
they're like, let's go, butthey're typically wearing a hair
and a ponytail.
Some of them, you know, theythink, well, if they do wear
makeup, it's not noticeable.
So it's just uh what would itbe?
SPEAKER_00 (14:31):
Just a base or natural natural look.
SPEAKER_01 (14:33):
Yeah, yeah.
And uh they're athletic,typically outdoors people
anyway, so yeah, they have noproblem with it.
But um, but the majority forsure, and definitely my wife,
she's a true southern belle, andshe loves to get made up and
look beautiful and all that, andum so that has really enhanced
(14:53):
and and caused our love to growfor each other because we know
each other better.
And um, I was telling you beforethe show, if I can give you that
example of a couple that weknow.
Yeah, um, that I have a clientwho lives in New Zealand, and
just at the time that we met, Ididn't know this at first
(15:15):
because we were doing businessat first, and then she uh
confided in us one day that shesays, Hey, I want you to meet my
boyfriend, so he got on the Zoomcall.
And then she told us, she says,you know, when we met you months
ago, we were on the verge ofbreaking up.
We just didn't know how to saveour relationship or whatnot.
And then you introduced us tobank, and all of a sudden the
(15:38):
light bulbs went on, and werealized what our differences
were and why we were different.
And ever since then, they'veworked on their relationship and
gotten a lot better.
That was two years ago, just onemonth ago, they got engaged.
SPEAKER_00 (15:54):
Awesome.
SPEAKER_01 (15:55):
Yeah, so and she just put a post on social media
to thank us for that.
And I don't want to take fullcredit, but I do know that this
system had a lot to do withthat.
SPEAKER_00 (16:06):
Yeah.
Or have you solved has have youbeen able to help everyone?
Like for sure, this can work onanyone, or are there some that
are too far gone in yourexperience?
SPEAKER_01 (16:16):
Or um I would say a little of both.
We can definitely it helpseveryone, there's no doubt about
it, because again, it'spersonality, not personal.
So when somebody's upset withyou or irritated, it's it's
because they think differentlythan you do.
And once you can accept that,you're fine.
Um, we do have one fellowtrainer now, she loved it so
(16:36):
much, she became a trainer.
When she first joined, uh, shewas in a really tough situation.
They were on the verge ofdivorce, but she was afraid to
get divorced and didn't knowwhat to do and how to move
forward, and it was thinking oftrying to save the marriage.
And after learning who she wasand then learning who he was,
she realized it's not worthsaving.
(16:58):
She's better off divorced.
Ended up getting a divorce, andnow she'll freely admit this.
She was able to get a divorceand turn around a couple years
later and buy her own home,which she never thought she'd be
able to do because she was stuckunder that roof that would just
wasn't compatible.
SPEAKER_00 (17:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:18):
And that's the thing, if you realize you're not
compatible, it's better to findout sooner than later, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00 (17:25):
Yeah, yeah.
Like some things you can workthrough with love and all that
stuff.
But yeah, if it's just straightup misery every day.
SPEAKER_01 (17:32):
Yeah, exactly.
But you know what?
That misery can go away.
Because again, once uh with mywife, I was it used to irritate
me, and that would make me mad.
But now I know, okay, no, wait aminute, that's the way she
thinks.
She doesn't think like me.
So I have some empathy for thatand give her leeway, and we have
the most beautiful relationshipI know of.
SPEAKER_00 (17:54):
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
Very cool.
And how how long have you beendoing the bank side of it?
SPEAKER_01 (18:02):
Um we first found out about it in 2019, and we
they were looking for people asa small new company, and they
were looking for people to helptrain it and whatnot.
And we looked into a little bitat first, and then when we
realized, oh, this is prettysolid.
So we did, I startedimplementing into my real estate
business, and the beauty of thatwas I was already a top
(18:25):
performer, realtor atdistinction, and I was closing
on my first appointment, myclosing ratio was 37%.
The industry average in realestate is around 20, 22 percent.
So I was already at the top ofthe game, right?
I didn't I didn't think I needany more tools.
So I thought, well, we paid forthis, I'll at least give it a
(18:46):
go.
And within a year, my closingratio went from 37% up to 86%.
SPEAKER_00 (18:53):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (18:53):
I was closing like nine out of ten appointments, I
was going on.
And so I was making more money,obviously, and I was doing it in
less time.
So it gave me more time to spendwith my wife, my family, travel,
do the things we want to do.
SPEAKER_00 (19:09):
Yeah, yeah, if you can say the right say the things
that they need to hear, and ordon't say the things they don't
need to hear.
SPEAKER_01 (19:16):
Yeah, and that's the thing.
I went to a listing appointment.
Um, I I do this first thing, andthen depending on what their
combination is, I can adjust mypresentation to meet their
satisfaction.
Quick example a blueprintperson, I want to talk to them
about the step-by-step processwe have already in place.
(19:36):
We have all the systems inplace.
I can walk them through it, I'llguide them through it, no risk.
An action person, if that'stheir predominant, it's like I'm
not gonna bore them with thedetails.
Just cut to the chase, get tothe bottom line.
I got places to go, people tosee, things to do.
All right, how much money canyou make me on this deal?
That's all I want to know.
The nurturing person, I'm gonnatalk to them about the family
(19:59):
values and support.
Maybe they're looking to gettheir children into a better
school district, and we can, youknow, talk about that and
whatnot, and they got acommunity pool and there's
neighborhood things to do, thatsort of thing.
And the if it's a knowledge typeperson, which typically says,
It's going to be your engineerof people like that, professors,
uh, people that just love tolearn.
(20:21):
I'm gonna give them all thedata.
They love data.
They can never eat it forbreakfast, lunch, and dinner.
And so I'm gonna give thosepeople tons of data and be very
matter-of-fact about it.
And when you do that, peoplelike people that are like them
and they'll work with peoplethat are like them.
So simply by just modifying howI present things, it's no
(20:44):
manipulation, very genuine,authentic, um, just present it
in a different way, theyinstantly relate and you build
that that um that relationship.
And it's that's why it works somuch better.
SPEAKER_00 (20:57):
Yeah, and like you said with dating too.
If you do it early on, you couldhave conversations that like
just yeah, feel like you're morewhen you get that, feel like
you're in the flow and feel likeyou're more like meant to be
kind of stuff when you'retalking the same language.
SPEAKER_01 (21:12):
Exactly.
It's like speak dating.
SPEAKER_00 (21:14):
Yeah, yeah.
And and you say it's notmanipulating, like if you know
they're if you're if they'redifferent than you and you say
stuff that they need to hear, Iguess as long as you continue
that in the relationship andit's not like so different than
you.
Like it's more like like if it'sa deal breaker verbs is pet
peeve.
If it's pet peeves, you canobviously adjust, like you're
(21:35):
giving her the heads up nowinstead of being more
spontaneous.
SPEAKER_01 (21:38):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (21:38):
That what that wasn't a deal breaker, but if
someone is so different asyou're getting to know each
other.
SPEAKER_01 (21:44):
I'll give you a good example.
Last summer, not this summer,last summer, I had this
opportunity come up from one ofmy clients who uh runs a fitness
uh company, and she was runninga three-day uh fitness retreat
up in Canada and Banff area inCanmore, actually.
And um, I had always wanted togo to the Canadian Rockies, and
(22:07):
she gave us a heck of a gooddeal to go there, right?
So we're gonna go hiking oneday, we're gonna paddleboard on
a glacial lake another day,we're gonna bike uh miles and
miles to the mountains anotherday.
I think that's right up myalley.
I'm an action guy, love theoutdoors, right?
My wife doesn't care for any ofthat.
So it was funny because I gotoff the call with the client and
(22:27):
I said, Cindy, I said, um, howwould you like to go up to
Canada for a few days and seethe Rocky Mountains and have
some fun?
And she goes, What part of thatstatement do you think I'd be
interested in?
I'm like, oh yeah, that's right.
Your personality doesn't go forthat so much.
Okay, how can we make this work?
Well, you can come up and youcan sit in the condo and read a
(22:48):
book or you know, whatever,right?
Enjoy the fresh air.
She goes, tell you what, whydon't I stay here and read a
book and save some money?
Because blueprints like thebudget, and you go on the
retreat.
I'm like, okay, I think I will.
So we did that, and we were bothhappy.
She was happy to be alone for awhile and and do her thing, and
(23:09):
I was happy to go explore theCanadian Rockies.
SPEAKER_00 (23:12):
Yeah, I can see how that works.
Yeah.
Very cool.
Yeah, and then like on can yousee so and you said would you
recommend this on a first date,or you think more like second or
third date?
SPEAKER_01 (23:24):
Like if people were to I mean, it depends on you,
the personality.
Um, based on the codes, I'd sayyour action person and nurture
might be more first date paidbefore we go and even get
started.
Let's find out if we'recompatible type thing.
I mean, you can have thatattitude, but you can do it in a
number of ways.
Um, honestly, once you gothrough, like we have a two-day
(23:44):
training course, we we dive deepinto all the codes, and you can
really learn and see foryourself what they're like, the
differences.
And a lot of times you can readpeople on that first date.
But it's good to have the set ofcards with you, too.
And then you can say, Hey, youwant to do me a favor and just
play this fun little game?
And they don't know why you'redoing it.
(24:05):
So you've got that advantageright there, and then you could
tell them the difference.
And it's amazing that I wouldsay 90% of the people they get
more interested in you when youwhen you have something like
that.
SPEAKER_00 (24:16):
Yeah, yeah, I can see that.
So it's do you want to yeah?
I was just gonna say, do youwant to share how they can work
with you as a coach or justshare how to find out more
information about things?
SPEAKER_01 (24:26):
Oh, yeah, sure.
Um, the easiest way would be,well, I'm on LinkedIn, uh
social.
I I focus on LinkedIn, althoughI'm on Facebook as well, so you
can just look me up, JoeKavanaugh.
Um, if they can write this downor you want to put it in the
chat or whatever, um you can goto that website I gave you, or
you can share that link too.
It's uh basically it'swww.crackmycode.com forward
(24:51):
slash Joe.
It's that simple.
And that's gonna take you to awebsite where you'll see the
four cards and you can look atthem and slide them into place.
Once you do, you can drop down,put your name, phone number, and
email in, and click submit.
And I control the website, so nospamming.
And when you do that, we'll sendyou a customized 22-page report
(25:14):
that's a$97 value.
I'll send it for free.
And it'll tell you a lot aboutyou and your tendencies, and
that's the easiest way to get intouch with me.
And if they want to email me,um, the coaching email that we
use is c and j coaching atgmail.com, and you spell out and
(25:37):
so it's c for Cindy and J forJoe coaching at gmail.
Um, and do we have anotherminute?
Because I'd like to tell youanother story, how powerful this
is.
I had a real estate client, anolder gentleman, he was actually
my age, he was 69, and he um hadjust lost his wife two weeks
(25:59):
prior.
And he called me up, he says,Joe, I got to sell my house.
I can't stay here anymore.
So I went to meet with him andgot his personality code, and I
was talking to him in his code,and he started going on and on
about people don't understandhim, they don't know what he's
going through because he was sodistraught, right?
And um, during the conversation,it became apparent that he owned
(26:21):
a pistol again, right?
Because he talked about shootinghis finger off and the hole is
still on the wall.
He did it accidentally while hewas cleaning.
And um anyway, um he startedsaying things like, I'm just
gonna take myself out and be andand solve all the problems and
everything.
So I sat there and I thoughtabout his code and I said, Okay,
(26:42):
he's stressed, he's about tojump off the building.
I gotta talk him off the ledge.
So I did.
And the key is you meet himwhere he's at, and then you can
talk him off the ledge, right?
So I used the codes in my headto do that through my training,
and I turned it around for him.
I've also a certified um NLPcoach, so I I know a lot of that
(27:05):
as well.
And I told him, I said, El, Isaid, I I don't uh understand
what you're going throughbecause I've never had that
happen to me.
Okay, and I my my sorrow goesout to you, and I just I'm not
gonna tell you how you I knowhow you feel because I don't.
I said, but I want to know ifyou would consider doing me a
(27:27):
favor.
So he was moving to another partof the country to be near the
family, and I said, Maybe thethe people around you, your
family don't understand.
But you know what?
There's a lot of guys like youout there that are going through
the same thing.
And I wonder if you considerjoining a support group, because
(27:47):
nurturing was his primary code.
And I said, I wonder if youconsider when you get there,
maybe joining a support group.
And I'm not saying that you needit, maybe, because he didn't
want to hear that.
But you might be able to helpthose guys because when they say
you don't know what I'm goingthrough, you do know what
they're going through, becauseyou're going through it, and you
(28:07):
can share your experience withthem and you could save some
lives.
And all of a sudden he stoppedand he thought for a minute and
he says, Well, I'm not gonnapromise anything, Joe, but it's
it's giving me something tothink about.
Well, the next thing you know,he called me back, and I told
him right then and there, Isaid, Look, I can't sell your
house right now.
(28:28):
He said, What do you mean youcan't sell my house right now?
You're a realtor, that's whatyou do, right?
I said, Yeah, but you are in noposition emotionally and
mentally to make this decision.
So I'm gonna recommend that youjust sit for a while and deal
with the situation, and thenwhen you feel the time is right
and you're making a a um alogical decision, then give me a
(28:53):
call and I'd be happy to be ableto be your realtor at that point
in time.
So literally about six monthswent by and he called me up.
Now he he checked in with me acouple of times in between, and
he said, Joe, I'm ready, readyto go.
It says, Okay, so went, list hishouse, and sold it, and he did
take my advice, and he joinedthat support group, and he
(29:14):
called me to thank me for savinghis life.
SPEAKER_00 (29:18):
That's awesome.
SPEAKER_01 (29:19):
So there's the power of it right there between saving
that couple and now they'regetting married, saving their
relationship, and then with thisgentleman, I'm not saying I did
it, but uh he he's giving me alot of credit for being
implement uh being an instrumentof helping him.
Yeah, so yeah, that's just asample of the power.
(29:40):
And uh for those who are curiousabout it, um, there's a couple
of things.
When you go to thatcrackmycode.com forward slash
Joe, it'll take you to the link.
And once you complete that andsubmit it, it'll take you to my
appointment calendar.
And then we can have a what Icall a discovery call, 15 to 30
minute call where we can learnabout each other.
(30:01):
Well, you of course you kind ofknow me now from just listening
to me.
We can talk a little bit aboutmore who you are and how things
can work for you and not workfor you.
And then if they do want to knowmore, we can get them into our
two-day training.
And I'll be right up front withit.
It's uh$497.
When I did it, it cost$2,000.
(30:22):
And it came down because the waythings are today on the
internet, you got to becompetitive.
So we've dropped the price, anduh, we can do it online, it's on
Zoom.
We break it up into two daysfrom noon to five, because
nobody wants to sit on Zoom fornine hours.
So we we split it up for twodays, and uh that's the best way
(30:43):
to learn more about it.
SPEAKER_00 (30:45):
Okay.
I was gonna ask for finalthoughts, but I think the two
examples you gave are kind oflike a good final thought.
Oh, good.
Unless you have more.
SPEAKER_01 (30:53):
But um, at the moment I can't think of anything
unless you've got a situationthat you want my input on.
SPEAKER_00 (30:59):
But uh Yeah, no, I think that was that was pretty,
I mean, uh obviously effective.
And yeah, yeah, I mean, thesuicide is rampant, so that's
great that this can help you.
SPEAKER_01 (31:08):
Yeah, and I hope that's couples out there that
are struggling and they're notsure how to solve it.
I mean, you obviously you getcounseling, but um this could be
an easier way to do it, muchmore cost-effective, too.
SPEAKER_00 (31:21):
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thank you very much.
And if you love this episode, besure to tell your friends about
it and rate it as well.
And thank you again, Joe, forbeing on.
SPEAKER_01 (31:31):
Thank you, Tamara.
It was an honor to be with you.
Thank you very much.
SPEAKER_00 (31:34):
Thank you.
Yeah, great stuff.
All right, thanks, everyone.
Bye.
Frank's dog!
Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth
Podcast.
Frank talk about sex and dating.
Hello, Tamra here.
Welcome to the show.
Today's guest is Joe Kavanaugh,business coach, mentor, and
trainer.
We'll be talking about how toget to know your date's value
system and personalitytendencies in less than 90
seconds.
(00:20):
And that can help you know ifyour date is a match.
Thanks for joining me, Joe.
SPEAKER_01 (00:24):
Hey, thank you, Tamra.
It's an honor to be on your showwith you.
So I appreciate that very much.
SPEAKER_00 (00:29):
Thank you.
Yes.
I'm looking forward to hearingmore about the how you can
discover this, because I'm surea lot of people would rather not
waste their time and justdecide, you know, pretty early
on if it's gonna at leastpotential.
Yes, I agree.
And how and how how do you howdid how either how did you get
started in this or how does itwork?
SPEAKER_01 (00:51):
Which one do you want to go with?
So um how did I get into this?
All right.
I have been in, first of all, alittle background on me.
I've been in sales all my lifeand very successful at it.
I've also been an entrepreneur,I bought and sold multiple
successful businesses, and I'mat a point in my life now where
I don't need to work, honestly,but I love to help people.
(01:12):
So I started coaching.
And initially it started outprimarily focusing on business
coaching, how to help businesspeople get better.
But what we started to find outwas we were actually helping
people with their relationshipsas much as we were with their
business decisions.
And when I talk on stage, Ioften talk about business
(01:33):
problems are personal problems,and personal problems are
business problems.
You can't separate the two,they're intertwined because you
you hold them up here.
So you take them home with you,you take your personal problems
to work, etc.
And so a methodology that wefound out about, it's a system
called Bank.
It's an acronym.
And the lady that was on stageuh talking about this and
(01:57):
selling it, it was a businesstool.
It was how to relate to peoplequicker so you can build that
rapport faster and close moredeals in less time.
That was the tagline for it.
And I thought I'm in sales, thiswill help me.
And it did.
But we soon found out, as I wassaying, that it was helping
people understand each other.
(02:18):
I'm I'm in I've been in realestate a long time, and I had a
client call me one night on aFriday, and they said, Joe, we
loved what you show told usabout this methodology.
They each got their reports andsaid, We're gonna have a date
tonight at home and we're gonnaread each other's reports.
And then they called me two dayslater and they say it was
unbelievable the things thatthey discovered about each other
(02:41):
that helped their relationship.
And so at that point, I said,okay, this is as much what
helping people save theirrelationship as it is anything
else.
So let me just give you a quickintroduction of what it's about.
There's so many assessments outthere, personality assessments,
and I'm sure we've all taken atleast one or two or three.
You got Disk and you got uhMyers Briggs and you got the
(03:04):
color code and the animals,everything else, right?
Every one of those tests, when Itake them, they tell me about
me.
But Tamara, if I want to ask youout and I want to I want to get
a relationship going with you, Idon't want to know more about
me, I want to know who you are,right?
So this lady worked on this andshe created this very simple
(03:25):
system that's basicallyreverse-engineered all those
other personality assessments soI can find out who you are in
less than 90 seconds.
How do we do that?
There are multiple ways.
The easiest way, if we met inperson, and I would just say,
Tamara, would you do me a favorand play a fun little game with
(03:45):
me?
Who doesn't like to have fun,right?
So, what I do is I hand themthese four cards, and if you
notice, each of these cards hasa set of values on them.
And I see that we're backwardshere, so if you can read
backwards, that's fine.
And each one's different, okay?
And the reason it's called bankis this is an acronym because
there are four personalityprimary groups.
(04:08):
One is the blueprint, and that'sthe B in bank.
And these people, these are yourplanners.
Uh, they want systems in place,they want processes, they want
people they can trust, sotradition, titles, duty, all
that.
They're also risk-adverse, theydon't like to take chances.
The next one, the A in bank, ispretty much the opposite of the
(04:30):
blueprint.
They love freedom, flexibility,and oh, and that's the other
thing.
We use an analogy of a box,okay?
The blueprint type person, theystay inside the box because they
like to follow the rules.
All right, rules are meant to befollowed.
The action person, which is me,by the way, they say box, what
(04:52):
box?
You're not putting me in anybox.
I want to blow it up withdynamite, right?
Because they love fun, freedom,flexibility, excitement, uh,
winning.
They like to be the center ofattention.
If you know somebody that you uhhear them before they come into
the room, typically an actionperson, right?
And the N Bank is for anurturing type person.
(05:14):
These people like authenticityand they like um personal growth
and they like working with atribe.
They call their friends a tribe,and they like to give back and
support people.
Um, they don't live inside thebox, they don't blow it up.
They're the kind of people thatwill recycle the box.
(05:35):
Those are your real nurturingpeople.
Think sunflowers, you know,golden sunshine, all that.
So those are those kind ofpeople.
And uh those people, or theaction people, they want to
break the rules, okay?
The nurturing people, they willbend the rules.
They'll they got some leeway,they want to support everybody
and make them happy.
And then the Cayenne Bank, thisis your knowledge type person.
(05:58):
Now, if you're one of these andyou like learning and
intelligence, logic, all thatself-mastery, you're typically
the smartest person in the room.
So congratulations to you.
However, these people are alsothe ones that tend to be the
wallflowers, they're not,they're kind of not really
antisocial, but they don'treally like small talk and
chit-chat, things like that.
(06:20):
And what did they do with thebox?
Well, without them, you wouldn'thave a box because they're the
ones who engineered it.
They created the box.
So you get a little taste of thefour basic groups.
And I had you do the a quickquiz for me online.
We have a link, you can do itonline.
We just drag the cards intoplace.
(06:41):
And based on your code, Tamara,the way you did it, you're more
the uh blueprint, the planningtype person, and the person that
likes to learn a lot.
And you you had said that beforewe came on the show, we're in
the green room, is you you justlove to learn things, okay?
And you probably have systems inplace, you're an Excel
spreadsheet type girl orwhatever, and you've got that
(07:03):
going.
Now, the thing to remember iswe're not just one or two, we're
a combination of all four.
SPEAKER_00 (07:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (07:10):
So there's 24 different combinations based on
these four cards for those I Kpeople that are thinking.
And um the other aspect of thatis these two types of people
that are primarily one of these,these are typically people who
are up here in the head.
They're thinkers, okay?
Uh matter of fact, yourknowledge people, they can often
(07:32):
get analysis paralysis.
They can't make up their mindbecause they don't want to be
wrong.
They like to be right abouteverything.
Whereas you're nurturing andyour action type people, these
are more your emotional typepeople.
They live a little bit more downin the heart.
Whereas you're nurturing, theycare about everybody.
They're into charity,nonprofits, things like that.
(07:52):
And the action person is like,wow, we just, you know, if we
can break a rule, we're gonnabreak a rule type thing.
And they just they're veryemotional.
They can fly off the deep endreal quick and snap on you at
the spur of a moment, and I seeyou smiling, so you probably
know somebody like that.
Does this remind you of anybodyyou know, Tim?
SPEAKER_00 (08:10):
Well, that's what I was saying early on.
Like, I'm so many, like I'm alittle bit of all of them.
I am that person that flies offthe handle, or I can.
So I'm I'm a little I I lovefreedom, it's like a high value
for me as well.
So I'm like a little bit ofeach.
SPEAKER_01 (08:24):
Yes, yes, exactly.
As as I am, as we all are.
Now you said sometimes you canfly off the handle.
Think about a time that you didthat.
Were you stressed?
SPEAKER_00 (08:53):
Yeah, I mean, not stressed per se, but like just
like upset about the waysomething was going.
So I guess yeah, you're gonna beable to do that.
SPEAKER_01 (09:00):
Your EQ went low, so emotions ran high, right?
Yeah, yeah, a little bit ofthat.
And that lines up perfectly withyour coat because one of the
things that we tell people whenthey take the training on this
is that third position istypically where you go when
you're in stress.
And in this case, action wasyour third position, so you get
(09:21):
emotional quickly and you could,yeah.
I I'm Irish, I have that Irishtemper.
Um, of course I've learned totemper it with age.
And um, but yeah, that's kind ofthe dark side, as we call it, to
the codes.
So the beauty of this is you canfigure out pretty much anybody's
code, sometimes even before youmeet them, if you're trained on
(09:42):
it.
And when you're trained on it, Ishould say.
But if not, I've brought thisthese cards to networking
events, and as soon as somebodysays, uh, what do you do for
work?
And I say, Well, let me showyou.
And I hand them the cards.
The next thing you know, I'vegot a crowd of people around me.
Hey, can I do that card trick?
So it and because that's thething, so who's gonna do that?
(10:02):
Everybody will do it.
There's a couple of reasons forthat.
One, the you who's the subjectmatter in this case?
It's you.
SPEAKER_00 (10:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:11):
And what's people's favorite subject?
SPEAKER_00 (10:14):
Themselves.
SPEAKER_01 (10:15):
Exactly.
So for that reason.
And I always tell them, I said,would just have a little fun
with me and play a quick game.
And I think most people like toplay games and have some fun.
So um virtually nobody's everrefused.
Oh, no, I can't say that.
I've I think I've had two peopleout of the hundreds, maybe
thousands I've done.
And both of those werehigh-knowledge people, and they
(10:37):
didn't want to do it becausethey were afraid it was
something that couldn't answercorrectly.
Uh even though there is no wronganswer.
SPEAKER_00 (10:44):
Yeah.
Well, and and online it wassuper fast.
SPEAKER_01 (10:47):
So, I mean, I could see like Yeah, I think you did
it in maybe 30 seconds, if that.
So, yeah, it doesn't take longat all.
Now, how does this tie intodating?
What the heck does this have todo with dating, right?
It has a lot to do with dating,because you can figure out what
your date's personalitytendencies are.
And let me give you a goodexample.
(11:08):
I found myself divorced at 60years old.
And I thought, okay, well,that's it.
I'm done.
Well, I ended up meeting abeautiful woman uh very soon
after that, and ended up gettingmarried again.
And we have a beautifulrelationship, yet there were
things that before we knew this,there were things that I would
(11:30):
do that would irritate her, andI couldn't understand why.
And there were things that shedid that irritated me, and she
couldn't understand why.
And this would start your littlequabbles, and you know, over
time quabbles build up, let'sface it, right?
And then maybe you don't lovethem so much anymore, you have
your doubts and whatnot.
Just happened we got introducedto the system, and we loved it
(11:52):
so much that we signed up tobecome certified trainers in it.
So we soon learned, like, forexample, she has to plan
everything that we're gonna do.
This is one of her top codes.
When I first saw these cards,I'm like, what's this card doing
in the deck?
I I threw it, I literally threwit on the floor.
I said, I don't like I don'tlike to plan anything, and that
(12:15):
irritates her.
I said, How can you just gosomewhere like to go train a
class full of uh realtors, forexample, which I do, and not
know what you're gonna talkabout.
I said, Oh, I'll figure it outas a go.
I'll wing it.
And that's what your action typeperson likes to do.
And action is her last coat,it's my first coat, so we're
(12:36):
total opposites.
And once we started sitting downand talking about why we do what
we do, it's our personality.
The tagline that we use in ourtraining is remember, it's not
personal, it's personality.
So now I understand why sheplans.
And the example I used to use alot, which it doesn't apply so
(12:58):
much anymore, but in thebeginning it did.
Let's say it's Friday afternoonaround five o'clock.
It's been a great week.
I've had a good, successfulweek, and it's a beautiful
evening out.
I live in Charleston, SouthCarolina.
And I like, hey, why don't we goout and uh go to a rooftop deck
somewhere and we'll sit andwatch the sunset and go out to
dinner?
And she goes, Oh, I can't dothat.
I said, Why not?
(13:18):
Well, I'm not ready.
I said, What are you gonna beready for?
Just throw some clothes out.
But you know, she's got to doher makeup, she didn't wash her
hair, it's all these things,right?
Doesn't know what to wear.
And that used to aggravate mebecause I'd like spur of the
moment, yeah, let's go, right?
And so I learned that to solvethat problem, I would suggest it
(13:38):
to her maybe on Tuesday orWednesday, and say, you know
what, the weather's looking goodFriday.
We don't have anything elseplanned.
Would you like to go out todinner?
Then she'll decide on doing it.
So this is just a little exampleof how you can solve fights,
problems, disagreements,whatever it might be.
(14:00):
And um, it works wonders.
SPEAKER_00 (14:02):
Yeah.
Have you found that it's like asa woman, I could like that's
women's biggest complaint.
We want men to make plans for usand like make reservations and
do a thing.
So have you found that that'strue to be the man-woman thing,
or it can be both sides,depending on your personality, I
guess.
SPEAKER_01 (14:17):
Personally, I've found it to be true.
Now, I do know women that arehigh action like me, and they'll
they're like, let's go, butthey're typically wearing a hair
and a ponytail.
Some of them, you know, theythink, well, if they do wear
makeup, it's not noticeable.
So it's just uh what would itbe?
SPEAKER_00 (14:31):
Just a base or natural natural look.
SPEAKER_01 (14:33):
Yeah, yeah.
And uh they're athletic,typically outdoors people
anyway, so yeah, they have noproblem with it.
But um, but the majority forsure, and definitely my wife,
she's a true southern belle, andshe loves to get made up and
look beautiful and all that, andum so that has really enhanced
(14:53):
and and caused our love to growfor each other because we know
each other better.
And um, I was telling you beforethe show, if I can give you that
example of a couple that weknow.
Yeah, um, that I have a clientwho lives in New Zealand, and
just at the time that we met, Ididn't know this at first
(15:15):
because we were doing businessat first, and then she uh
confided in us one day that shesays, Hey, I want you to meet my
boyfriend, so he got on the Zoomcall.
And then she told us, she says,you know, when we met you months
ago, we were on the verge ofbreaking up.
We just didn't know how to saveour relationship or whatnot.
And then you introduced us tobank, and all of a sudden the
(15:38):
light bulbs went on, and werealized what our differences
were and why we were different.
And ever since then, they'veworked on their relationship and
gotten a lot better.
That was two years ago, just onemonth ago, they got engaged.
SPEAKER_00 (15:54):
Awesome.
SPEAKER_01 (15:55):
Yeah, so and she just put a post on social media
to thank us for that.
And I don't want to take fullcredit, but I do know that this
system had a lot to do withthat.
SPEAKER_00 (16:06):
Yeah.
Or have you solved has have youbeen able to help everyone?
Like for sure, this can work onanyone, or are there some that
are too far gone in yourexperience?
SPEAKER_01 (16:16):
Or um I would say a little of both.
We can definitely it helpseveryone, there's no doubt about
it, because again, it'spersonality, not personal.
So when somebody's upset withyou or irritated, it's it's
because they think differentlythan you do.
And once you can accept that,you're fine.
Um, we do have one fellowtrainer now, she loved it so
(16:36):
much, she became a trainer.
When she first joined, uh, shewas in a really tough situation.
They were on the verge ofdivorce, but she was afraid to
get divorced and didn't knowwhat to do and how to move
forward, and it was thinking oftrying to save the marriage.
And after learning who she wasand then learning who he was,
she realized it's not worthsaving.
(16:58):
She's better off divorced.
Ended up getting a divorce, andnow she'll freely admit this.
She was able to get a divorceand turn around a couple years
later and buy her own home,which she never thought she'd be
able to do because she was stuckunder that roof that would just
wasn't compatible.
SPEAKER_00 (17:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:18):
And that's the thing, if you realize you're not
compatible, it's better to findout sooner than later, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00 (17:25):
Yeah, yeah.
Like some things you can workthrough with love and all that
stuff.
But yeah, if it's just straightup misery every day.
SPEAKER_01 (17:32):
Yeah, exactly.
But you know what?
That misery can go away.
Because again, once uh with mywife, I was it used to irritate
me, and that would make me mad.
But now I know, okay, no, wait aminute, that's the way she
thinks.
She doesn't think like me.
So I have some empathy for thatand give her leeway, and we have
the most beautiful relationshipI know of.
SPEAKER_00 (17:54):
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
Very cool.
And how how long have you beendoing the bank side of it?
SPEAKER_01 (18:02):
Um we first found out about it in 2019, and we
they were looking for people asa small new company, and they
were looking for people to helptrain it and whatnot.
And we looked into a little bitat first, and then when we
realized, oh, this is prettysolid.
So we did, I startedimplementing into my real estate
business, and the beauty of thatwas I was already a top
(18:25):
performer, realtor atdistinction, and I was closing
on my first appointment, myclosing ratio was 37%.
The industry average in realestate is around 20, 22 percent.
So I was already at the top ofthe game, right?
I didn't I didn't think I needany more tools.
So I thought, well, we paid forthis, I'll at least give it a
(18:46):
go.
And within a year, my closingratio went from 37% up to 86%.
SPEAKER_00 (18:53):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (18:53):
I was closing like nine out of ten appointments, I
was going on.
And so I was making more money,obviously, and I was doing it in
less time.
So it gave me more time to spendwith my wife, my family, travel,
do the things we want to do.
SPEAKER_00 (19:09):
Yeah, yeah, if you can say the right say the things
that they need to hear, and ordon't say the things they don't
need to hear.
SPEAKER_01 (19:16):
Yeah, and that's the thing.
I went to a listing appointment.
Um, I I do this first thing, andthen depending on what their
combination is, I can adjust mypresentation to meet their
satisfaction.
Quick example a blueprintperson, I want to talk to them
about the step-by-step processwe have already in place.
(19:36):
We have all the systems inplace.
I can walk them through it, I'llguide them through it, no risk.
An action person, if that'stheir predominant, it's like I'm
not gonna bore them with thedetails.
Just cut to the chase, get tothe bottom line.
I got places to go, people tosee, things to do.
All right, how much money canyou make me on this deal?
That's all I want to know.
The nurturing person, I'm gonnatalk to them about the family
(19:59):
values and support.
Maybe they're looking to gettheir children into a better
school district, and we can, youknow, talk about that and
whatnot, and they got acommunity pool and there's
neighborhood things to do, thatsort of thing.
And the if it's a knowledge typeperson, which typically says,
It's going to be your engineerof people like that, professors,
uh, people that just love tolearn.
(20:21):
I'm gonna give them all thedata.
They love data.
They can never eat it forbreakfast, lunch, and dinner.
And so I'm gonna give thosepeople tons of data and be very
matter-of-fact about it.
And when you do that, peoplelike people that are like them
and they'll work with peoplethat are like them.
So simply by just modifying howI present things, it's no
(20:44):
manipulation, very genuine,authentic, um, just present it
in a different way, theyinstantly relate and you build
that that um that relationship.
And it's that's why it works somuch better.
SPEAKER_00 (20:57):
Yeah, and like you said with dating too.
If you do it early on, you couldhave conversations that like
just yeah, feel like you're morewhen you get that, feel like
you're in the flow and feel likeyou're more like meant to be
kind of stuff when you'retalking the same language.
SPEAKER_01 (21:12):
Exactly.
It's like speak dating.
SPEAKER_00 (21:14):
Yeah, yeah.
And and you say it's notmanipulating, like if you know
they're if you're if they'redifferent than you and you say
stuff that they need to hear, Iguess as long as you continue
that in the relationship andit's not like so different than
you.
Like it's more like like if it'sa deal breaker verbs is pet
peeve.
If it's pet peeves, you canobviously adjust, like you're
(21:35):
giving her the heads up nowinstead of being more
spontaneous.
SPEAKER_01 (21:38):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (21:38):
That what that wasn't a deal breaker, but if
someone is so different asyou're getting to know each
other.
SPEAKER_01 (21:44):
I'll give you a good example.
Last summer, not this summer,last summer, I had this
opportunity come up from one ofmy clients who uh runs a fitness
uh company, and she was runninga three-day uh fitness retreat
up in Canada and Banff area inCanmore, actually.
And um, I had always wanted togo to the Canadian Rockies, and
(22:07):
she gave us a heck of a gooddeal to go there, right?
So we're gonna go hiking oneday, we're gonna paddleboard on
a glacial lake another day,we're gonna bike uh miles and
miles to the mountains anotherday.
I think that's right up myalley.
I'm an action guy, love theoutdoors, right?
My wife doesn't care for any ofthat.
So it was funny because I gotoff the call with the client and
(22:27):
I said, Cindy, I said, um, howwould you like to go up to
Canada for a few days and seethe Rocky Mountains and have
some fun?
And she goes, What part of thatstatement do you think I'd be
interested in?
I'm like, oh yeah, that's right.
Your personality doesn't go forthat so much.
Okay, how can we make this work?
Well, you can come up and youcan sit in the condo and read a
(22:48):
book or you know, whatever,right?
Enjoy the fresh air.
She goes, tell you what, whydon't I stay here and read a
book and save some money?
Because blueprints like thebudget, and you go on the
retreat.
I'm like, okay, I think I will.
So we did that, and we were bothhappy.
She was happy to be alone for awhile and and do her thing, and
(23:09):
I was happy to go explore theCanadian Rockies.
SPEAKER_00 (23:12):
Yeah, I can see how that works.
Yeah.
Very cool.
Yeah, and then like on can yousee so and you said would you
recommend this on a first date,or you think more like second or
third date?
SPEAKER_01 (23:24):
Like if people were to I mean, it depends on you,
the personality.
Um, based on the codes, I'd sayyour action person and nurture
might be more first date paidbefore we go and even get
started.
Let's find out if we'recompatible type thing.
I mean, you can have thatattitude, but you can do it in a
number of ways.
Um, honestly, once you gothrough, like we have a two-day
(23:44):
training course, we we dive deepinto all the codes, and you can
really learn and see foryourself what they're like, the
differences.
And a lot of times you can readpeople on that first date.
But it's good to have the set ofcards with you, too.
And then you can say, Hey, youwant to do me a favor and just
play this fun little game?
And they don't know why you'redoing it.
(24:05):
So you've got that advantageright there, and then you could
tell them the difference.
And it's amazing that I wouldsay 90% of the people they get
more interested in you when youwhen you have something like
that.
SPEAKER_00 (24:16):
Yeah, yeah, I can see that.
So it's do you want to yeah?
I was just gonna say, do youwant to share how they can work
with you as a coach or justshare how to find out more
information about things?
SPEAKER_01 (24:26):
Oh, yeah, sure.
Um, the easiest way would be,well, I'm on LinkedIn, uh
social.
I I focus on LinkedIn, althoughI'm on Facebook as well, so you
can just look me up, JoeKavanaugh.
Um, if they can write this downor you want to put it in the
chat or whatever, um you can goto that website I gave you, or
you can share that link too.
It's uh basically it'swww.crackmycode.com forward
(24:51):
slash Joe.
It's that simple.
And that's gonna take you to awebsite where you'll see the
four cards and you can look atthem and slide them into place.
Once you do, you can drop down,put your name, phone number, and
email in, and click submit.
And I control the website, so nospamming.
And when you do that, we'll sendyou a customized 22-page report
(25:14):
that's a$97 value.
I'll send it for free.
And it'll tell you a lot aboutyou and your tendencies, and
that's the easiest way to get intouch with me.
And if they want to email me,um, the coaching email that we
use is c and j coaching atgmail.com, and you spell out and
(25:37):
so it's c for Cindy and J forJoe coaching at gmail.
Um, and do we have anotherminute?
Because I'd like to tell youanother story, how powerful this
is.
I had a real estate client, anolder gentleman, he was actually
my age, he was 69, and he um hadjust lost his wife two weeks
(25:59):
prior.
And he called me up, he says,Joe, I got to sell my house.
I can't stay here anymore.
So I went to meet with him andgot his personality code, and I
was talking to him in his code,and he started going on and on
about people don't understandhim, they don't know what he's
going through because he was sodistraught, right?
And um, during the conversation,it became apparent that he owned
(26:21):
a pistol again, right?
Because he talked about shootinghis finger off and the hole is
still on the wall.
He did it accidentally while hewas cleaning.
And um anyway, um he startedsaying things like, I'm just
gonna take myself out and be andand solve all the problems and
everything.
So I sat there and I thoughtabout his code and I said, Okay,
(26:42):
he's stressed, he's about tojump off the building.
I gotta talk him off the ledge.
So I did.
And the key is you meet himwhere he's at, and then you can
talk him off the ledge, right?
So I used the codes in my headto do that through my training,
and I turned it around for him.
I've also a certified um NLPcoach, so I I know a lot of that
(27:05):
as well.
And I told him, I said, El, Isaid, I I don't uh understand
what you're going throughbecause I've never had that
happen to me.
Okay, and I my my sorrow goesout to you, and I just I'm not
gonna tell you how you I knowhow you feel because I don't.
I said, but I want to know ifyou would consider doing me a
(27:27):
favor.
So he was moving to another partof the country to be near the
family, and I said, Maybe thethe people around you, your
family don't understand.
But you know what?
There's a lot of guys like youout there that are going through
the same thing.
And I wonder if you considerjoining a support group, because
(27:47):
nurturing was his primary code.
And I said, I wonder if youconsider when you get there,
maybe joining a support group.
And I'm not saying that you needit, maybe, because he didn't
want to hear that.
But you might be able to helpthose guys because when they say
you don't know what I'm goingthrough, you do know what
they're going through, becauseyou're going through it, and you
(28:07):
can share your experience withthem and you could save some
lives.
And all of a sudden he stoppedand he thought for a minute and
he says, Well, I'm not gonnapromise anything, Joe, but it's
it's giving me something tothink about.
Well, the next thing you know,he called me back, and I told
him right then and there, Isaid, Look, I can't sell your
house right now.
(28:28):
He said, What do you mean youcan't sell my house right now?
You're a realtor, that's whatyou do, right?
I said, Yeah, but you are in noposition emotionally and
mentally to make this decision.
So I'm gonna recommend that youjust sit for a while and deal
with the situation, and thenwhen you feel the time is right
and you're making a a um alogical decision, then give me a
(28:53):
call and I'd be happy to be ableto be your realtor at that point
in time.
So literally about six monthswent by and he called me up.
Now he he checked in with me acouple of times in between, and
he said, Joe, I'm ready, readyto go.
It says, Okay, so went, list hishouse, and sold it, and he did
take my advice, and he joinedthat support group, and he
(29:14):
called me to thank me for savinghis life.
SPEAKER_00 (29:18):
That's awesome.
SPEAKER_01 (29:19):
So there's the power of it right there between saving
that couple and now they'regetting married, saving their
relationship, and then with thisgentleman, I'm not saying I did
it, but uh he he's giving me alot of credit for being
implement uh being an instrumentof helping him.
Yeah, so yeah, that's just asample of the power.
(29:40):
And uh for those who are curiousabout it, um, there's a couple
of things.
When you go to thatcrackmycode.com forward slash
Joe, it'll take you to the link.
And once you complete that andsubmit it, it'll take you to my
appointment calendar.
And then we can have a what Icall a discovery call, 15 to 30
minute call where we can learnabout each other.
(30:01):
Well, you of course you kind ofknow me now from just listening
to me.
We can talk a little bit aboutmore who you are and how things
can work for you and not workfor you.
And then if they do want to knowmore, we can get them into our
two-day training.
And I'll be right up front withit.
It's uh$497.
When I did it, it cost$2,000.
(30:22):
And it came down because the waythings are today on the
internet, you got to becompetitive.
So we've dropped the price, anduh, we can do it online, it's on
Zoom.
We break it up into two daysfrom noon to five, because
nobody wants to sit on Zoom fornine hours.
So we we split it up for twodays, and uh that's the best way
(30:43):
to learn more about it.
SPEAKER_00 (30:45):
Okay.
I was gonna ask for finalthoughts, but I think the two
examples you gave are kind oflike a good final thought.
Oh, good.
Unless you have more.
SPEAKER_01 (30:53):
But um, at the moment I can't think of anything
unless you've got a situationthat you want my input on.
SPEAKER_00 (30:59):
But uh Yeah, no, I think that was that was pretty,
I mean, uh obviously effective.
And yeah, yeah, I mean, thesuicide is rampant, so that's
great that this can help you.
SPEAKER_01 (31:08):
Yeah, and I hope that's couples out there that
are struggling and they're notsure how to solve it.
I mean, you obviously you getcounseling, but um this could be
an easier way to do it, muchmore cost-effective, too.
SPEAKER_00 (31:21):
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thank you very much.
And if you love this episode, besure to tell your friends about
it and rate it as well.
And thank you again, Joe, forbeing on.
SPEAKER_01 (31:31):
Thank you, Tamara.
It was an honor to be with you.
Thank you very much.
SPEAKER_00 (31:34):
Thank you.
Yeah, great stuff.
All right, thanks, everyone.
Bye.
Frank's dog!
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