February 18, 2025 • 48 mins
Have you ever received excessive flattery from a stranger online and wondered if it was too good to be true? Join us as we sit down with Hilsy, who bravely shares her harrowing experience of falling victim to an online romance scam. Her candid account of emotional upheaval and the psychological manipulation she endured serves as a vital reminder of the importance of self-awareness and vigilance in the digital dating world. We promise you'll walk away with practical tips to spot red flags and protect yourself from similar heartbreak.
Setting boundaries and understanding the tactics scammers use can mean the difference between a genuine connection and a devastating scam. Hear about the ingenious ways scammers weave their webs, from sophisticated video impersonations to elaborate excuses for avoiding face-to-face meetings. We'll explore the necessity of quick, in-person meetups and the power of thorough research, as illustrated by stories of human trafficking schemes and fake personas. With insights from Hilsy’s personal journey and real-life experiences, this episode is a toolkit for maintaining your safety and sanity in the often murky waters of online dating.
The digital world can be a minefield, but it doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. While scams are rampant, genuine connections can still be made, and we arm you with the knowledge to navigate this landscape safely. Learn from a story about a chilling phone scam and discover how keeping your personal information secure can prevent such nightmares. With advice from the FBI and tales of recovery and resilience, we emphasize the importance of support, self-reflection, and self-love in the aftermath of being scammed. This episode is more than just a warning; it’s a guide to empowering yourself in the realm of online connections.
Thanks for listening!
Check out this site for everthing to know about women's pleasure including video tutorials and great suggestions for bedroom time!!
https://for-goodness-sake-omgyes.sjv.io/c/5059274/1463336/17315
Take the happiness quiz from Oprah and Arthur Brooks here: https://arthurbrooks.com/build
NEW: Subscribe monthly: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1805181/support
Email questions/comments/feeback to tamara@straightfromthesourcesmouth.co
Website: https://straightfromthesourcesmouthpod.net/
Instagram: @fromthesourcesmouth_franktalk
Twitter: @tamarapodcast
YouTube and IG: Tamara_Schoon_comic
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tamara (00:00):
Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth podcast.
Frank talk about sex and dating.
Hello, tamara here, welcome tothe show.
Are you looking for love orromance online?
Well, this is the show for you.
Today's guest is Hilsy, andwe'll be sharing an embarrassing
story about being wooed intolove and later scammed.
Unfortunately, it's much morecommon than people realize.
(00:22):
It's just that most are tooashamed to talk about it.
But the more this is discussedin the open, the more we can
prevent others from goingthrough it as well.
In fact, it's so prevalent thatan FBI task force was created
to bring awareness to theproblem and allow you to report
the crime.
Thanks for joining me, hilsey.
Hilsy (00:41):
Hi, tamara, good to see you, good to be here with you.
Tamara (00:44):
Yes, Thank you for coming on.
I mean, obviously it's notnecessarily the best topic to
want to bring up, but I wantedto have you on just for the
reason that it is so prevalentand just let people understand
what to look out for andhopefully they don't fall into
this as well.
Hilsy (01:03):
Yes, it's a very difficult topic for me.
This happened to me two yearsago and it's been really.
It was very heartbreaking whenit occurred.
When I found out that I wasbeing scammed, I just felt like
my whole world crashed and I wasangry.
(01:24):
I was angry, I was upset, Um, Iwas embarrassed.
I didn't want nothing to dowith anybody, I just wanted to
hide.
Um, it hurt.
It hurt very much because Ibecame vulnerable with this
person and, um, it was hard.
It was a very difficult timefor me.
(01:45):
So I was a little bit hesitantto talk to you about this
because it's very, um, just justheartbreaking.
It was.
I've I've healed since then, Um, but still a little, at this
point, a bit embarrassinglooking back at you.
Know, how could I, how did Ifall for this?
(02:08):
So when you share that you wantto let your listeners know what
to look out for.
You know I said yeah becauseI'd hate for more people to fall
into this trap.
It is very heartbreaking.
Tamara (02:24):
Yeah, to fall into this trap.
It's, it's.
It is very heartbreaking, yeah,it's.
The heartbreaking part toowhich I didn't even like think
about is more like the loss ofyou know cause, the financial
part of it too.
But yeah, if you, you literallythink you're in love with
someone and then you have togrieve that relationship, that
never really was, but you itfelt real and yeah.
So I just want to kind of getto the beginning of like like
how were you contacted or didyou contact?
(02:45):
Was it a dating site or?
And just kind of get through.
And then as we go through, wecan talk about like a red flag
you could have seen but didn'tknow at the time.
Or at the end we can talk aboutsome of the stuff to kind of
look out for.
But just like, where, how didit start?
Hilsy (02:59):
Yeah, absolutely so.
It was two years ago, 2022.
I'd just gotten out of a verylong relationship.
I was in a relationship for sixyears and I thought that I
(03:20):
needed to be in anotherrelationship to feel fulfilled.
And so, right there, that's ared flag on me, um.
So right there, that's a redflag on me, um, and that this is
what I discovered after thefact, doing it like a, I did
self-reflection of where did Igo wrong?
So I was unfulfilled to myself,looking for a relationship, and
(03:41):
I think a lot of people do that.
A lot of people think that theyneed to be in a partnership and
a relationship in order to behappy, in order to feel
fulfilled in life, and so theylook for that another to fulfill
them.
And so that, right, there was ared flag on me looking for
(04:01):
someone to fulfill me.
So, right there, I was alreadyvulnerable.
So these scammers look for menor women that are emotionally
needy or who are looking forthat love, right?
So, yeah, you go on a datingsite to meet someone, right?
(04:23):
And so they start right away.
Site to meet someone right, andso they start right away.
So the way this one happenedand, incidentally, this was the
second guy who tried to scam me.
So the first guy, we were incommunication for about a week
and their target is they talk toyou really nicely and it's all
via chat.
So they'll say like oh, hello,beautiful, how are you?
(04:45):
You look amazing, your picturelooks so good, and so that like
kind of hooks you.
If, if, right, if there's a redflag over here with you, like
if you're looking for that loveand affirmation, you're like Ooh
, someone's giving me attention,okay.
(05:07):
So, however, if, if you don'thave that red flag yourself,
someone comes on that strongly,now I'm like wait a minute, you
don't even know me, right?
How can you be talking to methis way?
You don't even know me.
But of course you know, Ididn't know that that was a hook
to get in with me.
(05:28):
Then they start.
Their other tactic is, if youstart responding to them,
they'll start texting youconstantly, just constantly.
How are you?
What are you doing?
I really like whatever pictureyou posted.
Um, I really like whateverpicture you posted.
(05:49):
What are you into?
If they're really good scammers, if they've been doing it for a
long time, they'll act likeit's a normal conversation via
text.
If they're brand new at being ascammer, they will send you
like a paragraph long, right atthe beginning.
So that's a red flag, meaningthey'll say hi, you look so good
in your picture, you'rebeautiful.
(06:09):
I'm looking for someone likeyou.
You look very loving and gentlein this.
You know, they'll make up allthis stuff and they'll give you
like a whole paragraph andyou're like wait a second, I,
you don't know me.
How can you?
How are you talking to me?
Tamara (06:27):
Like you know me.
Hilsy (06:28):
Yeah, right, so that's a red flag right there.
Has that ever occurred to you,uh?
Tamara (06:33):
no, no, I mean I.
That's why I asked you in thebeginning like which site was it
on Cause?
I think that would help meunderstand better.
Like was it an actual like adating site itself?
Or facebook or instagram?
Because I've had no reach outon apps like facebook and
instagram.
I just don't ever reply okay,no, I've had it.
Hilsy (06:52):
Um, I've been on several dating sites in the past two
years, so it happened to me.
It happened to me on hinge.
It happened to me on bum.
This particular one was on onecalled Elite Singles.
However, I have had it happenon Bumble, on Hinge.
(07:13):
I even went on Tinder, believeit or not, just to check it out.
It even happened on Tinder.
So it's on all the websites,it's all on all the dating apps.
So it's on all the websites,it's all on the all the dating
apps.
Okay, yep, and what?
What got me was with the secondguy was he asked for my number
(07:35):
right away and I gave him mynumber and he called me, and so
it was like a real person on theother end and he said he was
local and that he was working,and so then he would call me.
So he's like, hey, you know,I'm so and so, so nice to meet
you, and then he would send mepictures of himself doing
(07:56):
something.
So I'm like, oh, this guy isfor real, right.
And so it made it morebelievable.
He was a really, really goodscammer, yeah, um, and he would
like, by the second day, likethe first day, he called me like
three or four times.
The second day he called meabout six, seven times and he
(08:20):
would talk about oh, you know, Iwould love to take you out to
this place and I wanted weshould go check out this
restaurant and but I'm workingthis weekend, maybe the
following weekend we can seeeach other.
So it was very believable.
That was an actual person in myarea.
Yeah, he knew the area and hewould talk about restaurants in
(08:43):
the area or places in the area.
So it made it very believablethat this is a real person
that's in that area.
Tamara (08:51):
Yeah.
Hilsy (08:51):
So that's what made him really really good.
Tamara (08:54):
Yeah, and I know one of the things the FBI talks about
is if you haven't met in personwithin a few months, that's
probably something suspicious.
And did he give excuses allalong, or they were seem totally
viable.
Hilsy (09:08):
Oh yeah, he did so.
He would tell me.
So this happened.
I was living in the WashingtonDC area, I was living in
Virginia, and so he said helived in Maryland and he gave me
the name of the place inMaryland and would say, well,
I'm taking my son to this schooland I'm dropping him off, and
then my mom is here visiting andmy mom has cancer, and then he
(09:32):
starts telling me the sob storyof his mom like within the third
day of knowing him.
And you know I love my mom andall this about the mom.
So these are now starts withlike maybe four calls on the
first day, second day, six toseven on the third date is like
constant calling, constanttexting.
(09:54):
I'm thinking of you, I can'tstop thinking about you.
Oh, you're so beautiful, you'reso this, you're so that Right.
So, like I said, this guy was aprofessional.
Tamara (10:05):
Yeah.
Hilsy (10:06):
Now let me pause it there .
So for your listeners, who maynot get a professional guy like
this right away, I would say,red flags to look for on the
dating apps is if they send youthis long paragraph right at the
beginning tell you you'rebeautiful, you're so handsome
(10:26):
and I'm in the military, or I'mtraveling, or I have a son and I
need a nanny, or I'm divorcedlike right away, right off the
bat, and they tell you that theywant a relationship with
someone, that they can travel ordo things, but, like even
(10:51):
before getting to know you, theytell you these things.
That's a red flag.
So what I usually see now thatI know that, I'll ask them, I'll
say, oh okay, good to know whencan we meet?
And they'll say, well, let'stalk offline.
(11:11):
They'll say that They'll likesend me your number and I'll
call you offline, Becausethey'll either say I hardly
check my messages on the site.
They'll say that my messages onthe site, They'll say that.
Or they'll say I'm always onthe go and it's just easier for
me to call you At that point.
(11:32):
That's another red flag.
Do not give them your phonenumber.
Stay on the chat and I've toldand I've said to them.
I prefer to communicate viathis chat.
Then they go dead silent andthen they drop off.
Tamara (11:47):
Yeah.
Hilsy (11:48):
And that's how I know like, oh, that was a scammer.
And if they agree to stay onthe chat then I ask them well,
let's meet.
So a girlfriend of mine herrule is if they cannot see you
within three days then she dropsthem.
I think that's a really greatrule.
Tamara (12:11):
Yeah, I mean, mine's a little longer than that, but
yeah, I can see where, at leastwithin the first week or two.
Like you know, I've never beenscammed because I've always met
them fairly soon and, like yousaid, you just meet them right
away, within three to five days.
Hilsy (12:27):
I wouldn't go longer than a week because they can like,
rope you in, like, oh, I have totravel.
Oh, and that's what this thescammer did to me.
Like, oh, I have to travel tothis other state and, um, go,
get you know something for workor have to do a presentation.
I won't be able to meet withyou, I won't be able to do this.
(12:48):
So it was like excuse afterexcuse after excuse.
So I was like okay, okay, right, because we kept talking and I
kept liking the guy.
So, yeah, no, come up with arule for yourself to say if I
don't meet this person within Xnumber of days of talking, then
drop them.
Tamara (13:09):
Yeah, and I've, and I've had a couple of people want to
go to the phone, which and they,they turned out they weren't
scammers.
But I also, like, had plans tomeet too.
So it was like, but yeah, I cansee where, just waiting until
you actually meet them to do thenumber thing makes more sense,
just in case yes, yeah, just incase, because this the scammer
was like yeah, let's meet.
Hilsy (13:29):
Well, let's meet at x place at x time.
And he gave me a place in thearea and, um the a few hours
before we were supposed to meet,he called and he was like my
mom's sick, she just had chemothis morning.
She's throwing up, I can't meetwith you.
And then I was like well, I canbring something to you guys.
(13:52):
Oh, no, no, she doesn't want tosee anybody.
And I can't leave my son byhimself, Right?
So it was all these excuseswhich I bought into.
Tamara (14:00):
Yeah, and how long did it?
Did it generally on like or notgenerally?
Did it go on until you realizedhe was a scammer?
Um?
Hilsy (14:10):
or how long did it?
Tamara (14:11):
take to fall yeah yeah, for two months.
It was two months yeah, ofconstant calls and talks
constant calls and talks and hedid do a video.
Hilsy (14:22):
So he's like I'll call you, I'm gonna call you, I'm
going to call you via.
I'm going to call you, and Ithink it was via Skype.
And then later I found out thatscammers do this.
So what they will do is theywill do a recording of the
person.
So, in my case, the guy hepretended to be the celebrity,
this Brazilian celebrity, right,right, like I have no idea who
(14:45):
this brazilian person is, right,so this brazilian celebrity had
had videos that he had postedon instagram.
So this the scammer haddownloaded one of these videos
and they do voiceovers.
So now, with ai, you can do somuch.
So he would call me via Skype,play the video so I'm seeing him
(15:07):
, and then the video would last.
It was kind of like a littleblurry, like it would break up a
little bit, but it was justenough for I could see him, and
then he would be saying my nameand then it would cut off and so
I would be like, hey, whathappened?
(15:28):
And then he would text me andsay, oh, it's a really bad
connection, or whatever whateverexcuse, and then I would buy it
.
Tamara (15:37):
Yeah, yeah, I mean and I was gonna talk about this too
there's basically humantrafficking, where people are
forced to do this, like they areput into slave labor camps, and
they are forced to go onlineand seduce people and try to get
money from them, like luredinto thinking they're coming in
for a job, and then, once theyget there, it turns out to be
(16:00):
that they have to sit there atthe computer and scam people all
day long and get their money,and I'm sure you know so they
learn how to do it.
I'm sure they taught them allhow to do it.
You know the AI, like you said,and all this stuff out there
nowadays, like you definitelyhave to be careful.
Hilsy (16:16):
Well, yeah, and that's what happened.
So I met a guy previous to thesecond skimmer and we talked for
about a week and he would sendme pictures.
He was supposedly in Californiaand so he would send me
pictures of like these veryexpensive restaurants that he
would go eat, right.
So he found out what I'd liked,so I like to eat really good
(16:38):
food.
So he would send me pictures ofhim dining at this really fancy
restaurant and would say, oh,you know, I want to bring you
here or take pictures of likehim driving in his convertible
down the street with, like, thepalm trees, right.
And then one of these, he sendsme a picture of this house that
(17:00):
he supposedly owned in Floridaand he's like, yeah, I want to
take you there, so let's meetthere.
So he sends me a picture ofthis, right, and I'm like that's
a really fancy house.
So I look it up.
So one thing about me I've beenin real estate and so I looked
(17:21):
this house up.
I found the address.
I go look at the tax records, Igo look to see who owns the
house, and it was not the guy Iwas talking to.
It happened to be owned by thisretired colonel that was very
famous and I was likesomething's off here.
(17:45):
So then I kind of played hislittle game.
So what essentially was tryingto do was he was into day
trading and would send me hisday trades and show me how much
money he made.
So where he was going with thiswas trying to get me to give
him money so that I could too,day trade.
Tamara (18:06):
Yeah.
Hilsy (18:07):
And then, surprisingly enough or coincidentally, on
Instagram and on Facebook, Istarted getting people to do
crypto trading and day trading.
So what I've heard in thelittle research that I've done
is that scammers have this listthat has your name kind of like
(18:32):
the black list or this list andthey put people's names on there
that they've scammed or thatthey're talking to and they'll
put their details out on therePut your phone number, your
picture, your email so thatother scammers can target you.
Tamara (18:49):
Wow.
Hilsy (18:50):
Okay, so that's scary.
Tamara (18:53):
Yeah.
Hilsy (18:54):
Right, and so it's a very real thing.
I started getting targeted byall these different groups of
hey, invest here, invest thereall kinds of stuff and they look
like normal people, they looklike good people, but you don't
know who's behind that beautifulface or handsome face.
Tamara (19:15):
Yeah, I wish I could remember the name.
There's a show on Netflix thatbasically you know, they
catfishing, where they use otherpeople's pictures for different
online ads, kind of like you'resaying and then it was.
It happened to be a picture ofher ex-boyfriend, but they
didn't realize that, obviouslyyou know.
So the picture, then she washappened to be a cop, so it
worked out.
But yeah, I mean, it's justcrazy how, and like you said,
(19:37):
the AI and all the deep fakesand all that stuff, like I can't
even imagine, especiallygetting on this list like they
are, you're already vulnerableand then, like you're going to,
if you get bombarded with like12 to 15 threats or like you
know crazy scams, you might, onemight actually look real enough
to do like it's just yeah.
So what ended up happening with?
(19:59):
Or what if there's more to thebeginning of the story?
Or you can jump right to likethe If there's more to the
beginning of the story, or youcan jump right to the
consequences.
Hilsy (20:05):
Yeah.
So the other thing I do want toshare is that between the first
scammer and the second scammer,what happened was because I was
on these dating sites I hadn'ttold my family.
One thing that I discoveredwith these dating apps is that
they can track your location andso it'll track you and show
(20:27):
people you know who's around ifthey want to date.
So in one of these I happenedto have gone to Florida for a
workshop and then had drivendown so on my way.
So in Florida I kind of signedup for these apps.
Then I drove from Florida toVirginia.
When I got home I had, like allthese crazy let's say, 2,000
(20:52):
likes, right, like I was.
Like that is insane.
Two weeks later my parents get aphone call with this girl
crying and the girl says to themmom, I've been kidnapped, but
(21:14):
she's muffled.
And this guy comes on the phoneand says if you want to see
your daughter alive, you have tosend us $20,000.
Now it just happened,coincidentally, that day I had
gone into the office and Iworked in a place where there
was no cell phone reception andso I had put my phone on my desk
(21:35):
.
So I'm like I can't make anycalls, I don't need my phone.
So I had been in this trainingall day.
So I had been in this trainingall day.
My parents got the call aroundnoon, actually around 10 in the
morning.
I'm all day.
I don't get my phone untilabout 4.30 or 5, when I'm
(21:57):
finally in the room wherethere's cell phone reception and
I see all these missed calls.
My ex-husband called me.
He never calls me.
You texted me.
Hey, are you okay?
My mom had called me a milliontimes.
My best friend called me, myemployer called like all these
people are calling me andtexting me, are you okay?
(22:18):
And I'm like what, what'shappening?
I finally like um, I called mymom and she started crying.
She's like are you okay?
I said, yeah, I'm fine.
What's going on?
And she goes oh my gosh, I gotthis call this morning saying
that you were kidnapped and youwere on the phone crying and
(22:43):
that if I didn't give them$20,000, they were going to kill
you.
Tamara (22:48):
Wow.
Hilsy (22:50):
So I was like, what now?
I didn't tell my parents.
They got my phone or myinformation from these dating
apps Right?
I couldn't tell them that yeah.
But that's something like youhave to be very careful because
this happens a lot.
Now, fortunately my mom she's atough lady Like she got.
(23:14):
She talked the guy down to onehundred dollars OK and he was
like only one hundred dollars.
Your daughter's life doesn'tmatter.
And she was like my husbandjust had a heart attack.
We don't have that kind ofmoney, are you crazy?
Right?
So it went away.
But I was at the bank actuallya couple of weeks ago and the
(23:39):
same thing happened to acustomer that was in there
Actually, it was her niece.
They did that and the mom paidthe $20,000.
It's crazy, so don't.
If you get a call like that,just hang up, call the police.
Don't believe it.
Tamara (23:59):
Yeah.
Hilsy (24:00):
Because there's so many different scams out there.
So if you're going to be onlinedating, just be careful who you
share your phone number with.
My rule now well, I'm datingsomeone, I'm in a relationship
now, but prior to that Iwouldn't give them my phone
number until we met in person.
And if that worked out andthere was a connection there,
(24:24):
then I would give them my phonenumber.
If there was no connection,forget it.
No phone number.
Tamara (24:28):
Yeah.
Hilsy (24:29):
Because of what I've gone through.
So if this helps the listeners,just be very, very careful out
there.
Tamara (24:36):
Yeah, and I mean I've only ever been on like two sites
, so maybe that's part of theissue or like what's helped me
or saved me, because I'm prettymuch only on, like Bumble and I
was on match years ago, but I'veI've don't go on all of them
and I don't sign up much, like Idon't know I've got some
lifetime membership thing forBumble somehow and like I can
(24:56):
keep it forever and I justsnooze it when I don't need it.
But and then Bumble also I knowyou said you got someone there
as well, so they actually, Iguess if you respond to them,
then they would send yourwonderful stuff.
Hilsy (25:11):
Oh, yeah, yeah, just be very careful out there and don't
get me wrong.
I've met some great guys on allthe sites, including Tinder,
believe it or not.
I met this great guy and we hitit off and he wasn't ready for
anything.
So there's good people outthere, so don't shy away from it
.
Just be aware of what's outthere and know how to weed them
(25:36):
out.
Tamara (25:37):
Yeah, I'm going to read the thing from the FBI to like
say what to protect yourself orhow to do that, and we've
covered some of this.
But just to make it extra clear.
So be careful what you post andmake public.
Online Scammers can use detailsshared on social media and
dating sites to betterunderstand and target you.
Research the person's photo andprofile using online searches
(25:57):
to see if the image, name ordetails have been used elsewhere
.
That's pretty easy nowadays.
For sure, go slowly, ask a lotof questions while you're in the
beginning phases.
Beware if the individual seemstoo perfect or quickly asks you
to leave a dating service orsocial media site to communicate
directly.
Hilsy (26:15):
Yes.
Tamara (26:16):
Beware if the individual attempts to isolate you from
friends and family or requestinappropriate photos or
financial information that couldlater be used to extort you.
Beware if the individualpromises to meet you in person,
then always comes up with anexcuse why he or she can't.
If you haven't met the person,this says after a few months,
but we talked earlier about morelike days or weeks.
For what a reason you have goodreason to be suspicious.
(26:39):
No-transcript.
Hilsy (26:45):
Yes, yes, and that I I didn't know that I I quote,
unquote fell in love with thisguy because he was constantly in
my ear, constantly in my ear,and I I mean it was an
incredible time for me because Igot to do things that I never
(27:06):
thought possible Like he.
He knew what he was doing,meaning like he would motivate
me, inspire me, tell me how muchhe loved me and how much he
believed in me, and I sharedwith him some of the stuff that
I was working on, so he wouldlike incentivize me like oh,
baby, I know you can do it.
Like he was that support for meand that just made me fall more
(27:29):
in love with him, even though Ididn't see him, and because he
would send me these picturesthat were not even him, I
thought it was him.
Yeah, right, and so then Iwould share pictures too, and so
there was like this connectionthat was created, that made it
that it felt so real.
Tamara (27:46):
Yeah.
Hilsy (27:52):
And the way that I got scammed was he had this
supposedly engineering businessand he was going to go to do
this business in Alaska andinstall oil pipes.
And he sent me the actualdocuments.
So he sent me the proposal, hesent me the invitation letter
from, or the acceptance letterfrom, this company.
He sent me pictures of himbeing on the airplane, like it
was so believable, he was sogood, he was really really good
(28:18):
and a total professional, and soI believed everything.
And there was one instancewhere he showed me his bank
account and I mean he hadmillions in his bank account.
Obviously it was rigged, but Ididn't know.
He had shared his website withme and I'm an IT professional
and I fell for it.
(28:38):
So now what I do, meaning whatI mean by that, I didn't do my
research on the website, right,I did it after the fact.
So after the fact, I looked uphis website and it was all fake,
like it was open in Amsterdam,right, and there was no contact.
There's no like traceabilityback to who owns the website.
(29:02):
That would have been.
Had I done that at thebeginning, I would have been
like Ooh, red flag.
Tamara (29:06):
Yeah.
Hilsy (29:07):
Who is this guy?
Right?
So, cause, usually whenbusinesses register their their
website, there's a contactinformation contact name,
address and phone number.
He had none of them, yeah, andthere, and there are laws that
protects that information fromconsumers.
So just be very careful, doyour research.
Like I said, this guy wascomplete professional, yeah, in
(29:32):
doing that, so I believed it.
And so what happened?
The first time that I sent himmoney was, um, he, so he was
doing this business transaction.
He was going to send this moneyout to buy material.
He's showing me his bankaccount and on the bank account,
right, all the stuff that hehad told me he had bought for me
(29:53):
was on there.
So I'm seeing, like the gift ofthe necklace he bought me at
Tiffany's, like all this stuffthat he said he had bought for
me, that he was going to give me, when we saw each other when he
came back from Alaska, and Ibelieved it.
Tamara (30:08):
Yeah.
Hilsy (30:09):
So I'm in there.
He's like, oh my gosh, I I lostcell phone thing, I can't
internet signal, I can't sendthis wire payment.
Can you send this wire paymentfor me?
So I'm like, okay, sure, likehe was calling me from somebody
else's phone or whatever it was.
So I'm in there in the accountlocks up.
He had to send all this moneyout so he can get his material,
(30:35):
so that he could do his work.
So then I'm like, okay, well,let me partner with you and I'll
support your business and Iwill.
I'll do this as a businesstransaction and we'll I'll
partner up with you and supportyou in this business.
Tamara (30:53):
Yeah.
Hilsy (30:53):
Because this was our business.
Now, right, so that's how hegot me.
So I see it's locked up.
He, he had to, like, travel toLondon because it was a Barclay
bank to open or unlock thebusiness account and he was like
(31:14):
I really need this money.
So stupid me.
I have the money, I sent himthe money, I wire it, yeah, and
he gives me the name of thevendor and all the wire
transaction et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
So it like at that point,because there was websites,
vendor size invoices, the wholething was so very, very
(31:36):
believable yeah and that's howit started.
Um, luckily, I shared with myfamily about this guy and I was
so crazy about him I sharedpictures of him to my cousins
and they were like this guydoesn't sound like he's real,
but we believe he's a scammer,like the whole family started
(31:58):
trying to warn me and I wasn'tbuying it.
As a matter of fact, I becameupset at them, I became angry
and, tamara, you know me, I'mnot an angry person.
Tamara (32:08):
Yeah.
Hilsy (32:10):
I'm not vengeful, I'm not hateful, and I became that and
I was very surprised that I wasacting that way with my family.
So, long story short, thathappened like at towards the end
of September.
I kept sending the guy money.
At the end of October, mycousins they're like you need to
(32:33):
see this they send me thisInstagram of the guy, who's
actually the real person.
They send him me his Instagramwith his family, with his wife,
with his kids, and I was inshock.
Tamara (32:48):
The picture you thought was the guy you're talking to.
Hilsy (32:51):
Yes, so what the scammer had done was used a lot of the
pictures from this famouscelebrity and he had cropped his
face and put him in pictures ofhim supposedly working in
Alaska in the oil rig,supposedly doing all these other
(33:14):
things.
I was just dumbfounded.
I was for a loss of words Icouldn't even describe.
I cried, I called him, I yelledat him.
I was like how could you dothis to me?
How could you do this to me?
(33:35):
And then he just keptpretending that he loved me.
He's like I don't know whatyou're talking about.
I'm really me, I love you, I'mhere for you.
And I was like no, you don't dothis to someone you love.
(33:57):
And so I cut off allcommunication with him and I was
just distraught, just sodistraught because I put myself
in so much financial um,financial burden.
I took out personal loans toget this man for the business,
and so I was just heartbroken,distraught, I couldn't believe
it.
I was hating myself.
(34:19):
How could you fall for this?
Are you that desperate?
Like all these, all of thesethoughts, like I'm so ashamed I
can't show my face.
I got depressed.
I wanted nothing to do withanybody.
It was hard, it was a very hardtime for me.
Tamara (34:38):
Yeah, that sounds like it and, like you said, it was
seems so believable, minus thepart where he couldn't meet.
But even then he had decentexcuses and the fact that he was
like let's meet here and I hadto call you right before I've
had that happen where, like,someone will call like oh, I
can't meet this week, like, ornow, like I'm on my way, sorry,
something happened, let's meettomorrow or whatever.
So, like, everything you'resaying is so believable and
(35:00):
they've trained each other to dothis to people.
You know, and there, and so manypeople have been a victim of
this that it just no one reallywants to share, because you know
it seems embarrassing, likethey were.
How could they, like you said,how could you have fallen for it
?
But when it's thissophisticated, you know most
people- oh, it's very, very,very, very, very sophisticated.
Hilsy (35:23):
He had it all down packed , he had the website, he had the
, the business, the, the books,the invoices, the letters, the
logos.
He had it, all the picturesthat went along with the story
that he was telling me what waswhat he was doing or where he
was at or where he was traveling, um, just the whole thing, even
(35:48):
the fake bank account in thetransactions and everything just
very, very, very believable.
And, like I said, like now,looking back, I mean I learned a
lot from this experience and Ithink for me I was lucky enough
that at that time I had apersonal coach while this whole
(36:10):
thing happened, and so thispersonal coach like really
helped me come out of that, likehe let me grieve it and then
walk me through it.
Yeah, so I don't think a lot ofpeople have that, because I did
some research on things thathave happened like this on on
women and men and some.
(36:31):
It takes them decades torecover, years to recover and
even trust someone, or evenfinancially it's a huge
financial burden.
Yeah, and I was lucky that Ihad this coach that helped me
through it and it took me sometime and I went through the
grievance process, because whenyou grieve, you're like I was
(36:53):
sad, I was depressed, I was likehow could this happen to me?
And then it was like I becameangry and I became hateful and
very upset, and then it was likeit took me a while to accept it
, like this is it right.
And then to know that I'm okay,it wasn't my fault, and then
(37:18):
looking at like, how did thishappen to me?
And so I did a lot ofself-reflection of what was
missing with me, that I waslooking for that in someone else
.
And I took some time to like,be with myself and journal.
And I looked at some programs.
There's some great programs outthere on the website, on
(37:39):
Facebook, on Instagram, and Ifound one of this woman about
self-discovery and self-love andI did some of that journaling
and what I discovered was I wasmissing love in my life growing
up, so that I was looking forthese relationships to fulfill
me.
So that was a really big changefor me, that I started loving
(38:03):
myself, doing self-love, and Istarted dating myself.
So and I would still go ondates on the apps, but now I was
a bit more aware.
I had like, okay, this is whathappened to me, these are these
red flags.
And so then I started dating todiscover who I am and who and
(38:26):
what I liked in guys or wouldn'tlike in guys.
And it was.
I had those rules If wecouldn't meet within three days,
forget it.
I would not share my phonenumber.
I would give them after we metand then, from that point on, my
whole dating changed completely.
But I did like I got bombardedby scammers and then I knew who
(38:50):
they were.
Tamara (38:50):
Yeah, and just blocking them, like stop it, or like.
I know you're on the.
You said there's a list, so I'mguessing if you block enough of
them, they'll probably likemaybe they take you off the list
, like nevermind, she's onto us,or something.
Hilsy (39:03):
I don't know.
So the way the scams cameinterestingly it wasn't really
romance, some some, it was a lotwas things on my phone Like you
have a UPS package, click onthis link or we're interviewing
and your resume came up.
(39:24):
Click on this link, or I wouldget random text messages like hi
, how are you today?
And I'd be like who is this?
Oh, this is.
Let's say, this is, this, isTony.
I'm like I don't know a Tonyand they'd be like oh, this
(39:45):
isn't Mary, like no, oh well,you know, you sound like a nice
person, can we chat?
And I'd be like no, and thenI'd block them.
Tamara (39:55):
Yeah, Okay, yeah, I have gotten stuff like that, like,
oh, we're interviewing for thisor that, but I just block them
immediately if I don't know thepeople.
So I've, I'm more, I'm muchmore skeptical and much more
like assume the worst kind ofperson so it could be people
that actually want to reach out,but I'm like Nope, I'm blocking
you.
Hilsy (40:13):
Yeah, you don't.
Yeah, at this point you don'tknow.
But yeah, you'll get bombardedand all kinds of stuff Random
emails, stuff on Facebook, stuffon Instagram, and yeah, no, I
block, I block them.
So, yeah, just be very carefulwith how you share your data out
(40:34):
there.
Tamara (40:34):
Yeah, and I had a friend that was in a similar situation
.
It was a guy and he said thatshe came on really strong,
really early, like you said, andwanted to get on WhatsApp right
away.
But he had they had beenrevealing like being vulnerable
and like kind of she was tryingto fast track a relationship.
And he texted me because heknows I have this podcast.
He's like I don't know what'shappening and he's like you know
(40:57):
, she's like really getting,like they're just getting really
close or vulnerable.
And then he's like and she'slike it's a little a lot and I
said, well, did she?
If she went right to whatsapp,it's probably a scam.
So he blocked her right away.
So, like you said, it happensto men and women.
Yeah, I think the biggest thingfrom the FBI stuff was take the
(41:21):
pictures.
I know there's a website tocheck pictures that have been
used elsewhere and just doublecheck.
Hilsy (41:30):
The other thing I want to share is be careful what you
post, what pictures you post onsocial media, um, and what
pictures you share with someoneyou're, um, on a dating site,
just going back and forth, youknow, if you haven't met that
person in person?
Um, because I had another thinghappen to me.
So I I'm originally fromHonduras and a few years back I
(41:53):
posted some things on Facebook,some pictures, and, um, actually
it was last year my aunt callsme, send me a message on
WhatsApp and she's like hey, Ididn't know you were in Honduras
, honduras, actually.
She calls my mom.
She's like how come you didn'ttell us that Hilsey was coming
to Honduras?
We could have arranged to pickher up earlier.
(42:14):
And my mom's like what do youmean?
She's right here in front of me, she's not anywhere.
And my aunt's like well, I justgot a call from her saying that
she's at the airport and thatshe needs money so she can get
out of customs.
Yeah, and my mom is like don'tsend the money, don't, right?
(42:39):
And so what turned out to bewas this guy, and he kept, and
he would send her WhatsAppmessages and send her pictures
of me.
So she thought it was me thisguy was in prison and he
(42:59):
pretended to be these otherwomen, like he would have a high
pitched voice, I guess, and andmy, my aunt is a Christian
woman, so she would haveconversations, like she went
along with it, and then herevealed that he was in prison
and then that's how he wasgetting money for his family to
to support his family.
So, yeah, you know, just becareful.
(43:21):
So many types of scams outthere.
Tamara (43:24):
Yeah, for sure yeah, and definitely don't click links
that you don't know where theycome from.
And like you, said, yeah, allthe extra cause the more you
post and everyone wants to sharetheir life all the time.
But yeah, if you post a pictureof a kid and then they're like,
oh, they can see the name andthey could message you and say
we have your kid.
And like it happened to you,you were out for the day without
your phone and like 10different people thought you
(43:46):
were taken.
Yeah, and like the woman yousaid at the bank who was taking
out the $20,000 to pay someonethat probably didn't even have
her niece, obviously.
Yes, All right.
Well, I think you get the gist.
People Definitely be carefulout there.
There are great people outthere, for sure, and hopefully
we'll all find each other.
(44:06):
And now that it's even beingscarier, hopefully more people
will look up in real life andsay hi to each other in real
life and know that you'remeeting real people.
But as long as you're safe's,you can do online as well.
But is there any like partingthoughts or closing comments you
want to make?
Hilsy (44:26):
I would say, if you're out there dating, get to know
you and just make sure you'redating because you want to share
your life or have someone inyour life to.
I don't want to say to make itbetter, but to like have fun and
enjoy life with and not someonein that you're dating for that
(44:48):
reason, not because you feelalone and like you need someone
to fulfill you and make youhappy.
No one can make you happy.
The only person who can makeyou happy is yourself, and so
find a partner that you're goingto have fun with and enjoy each
other and like increase or addto both of you.
(45:09):
Add to each other's lives andmake it enrich your lives.
Not someone where, and not bein a dating, in a situation
where you're unfulfilled, youfeel empty and alone, where
you're sad and depressed andyou're wanting someone to fix
you, or you want to fix someone.
That's not going to work andthat's what makes you more
(45:31):
vulnerable and falling for scamslike this.
Tamara (45:34):
Yeah, and now that you say that I meant to add this
yeah, and now that you say thatI meant to add we grow up with
the fairy tales of finding ourPrince Charming and all the
movies.
Are some guy coming in torescue you and saying all the
right things that you've alwayswanted to hear?
And those are the ones that arethe scammers, because the real
guys they might think that stuff, but they're not that great at
(45:55):
it.
Real guys are not that great atdating, so they don't know all
this stuff to say, you know, andit's the nicer ones that are
probably the most clueless andthe most you know unsure.
So, oh, absolutely.
Hilsy (46:09):
Yes, I've seen that, yeah .
Tamara (46:11):
Give the weird guys a chance or the nice ones that
stumble.
Hilsy (46:16):
That's right.
Yeah, give those shy guys achance, or shy women a chance?
Tamara (46:25):
Exactly, yeah, and thank you so much for doing this and
I know, like you said, it's alittle embarrassing, but it's
been a couple of years, sohopefully you've, as you said,
you've healed, you've grown,you've learned from it, and
hopefully this will help othersjust not to fall for this or get
out of it if they are in it,and do some more research.
You know, if they think they'rein the middle of something like
this, Absolutely yes, and itdoes happen more often than we,
than we think.
Hilsy (46:45):
I've shared my story with a few men and women and,
surprisingly, I've met aboutfour or five men and women who
has, who they've sent money,they've been scammed, and even
family members who were scammedin buying things from Facebook.
A family member was buying thispuppy and the person said, well
(47:07):
, send us the money first andthen we'll meet you and give you
the puppy.
And she sent the money and theynever got the puppy.
So it's all different types ofscams out there.
So just be very, very carefulfor sure.
Tamara (47:22):
All right, well, I will leave it there, and if you
learned something from thisepisode or enjoyed it, be sure
to like it and share it withyour friends and rate it as well
.
So thank you again for being on.
Hilsy (47:33):
He'll see thank you for having me this.
Um, this is very helpful for meto come out of the closet with
this information.
Tamara (47:42):
Yeah, essentially knowing yes, and especially
knowing you're helping others.
Like you know, if anyone canlearn, if only one person is,
doesn't fall for this because ofthis, that'd be awesome so yes,
absolutely yes.
Hilsy (47:55):
Yeah, be careful, have fun dating you, just be very
careful.
Tamara (47:58):
Yeah, well said.
All right, thanks everyone.
Hope you enjoyed it.
Bye.
Hilsy (48:04):
Bye.
Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth podcast.
Frank talk about sex and dating.
Hello, tamara here, welcome tothe show.
Are you looking for love orromance online?
Well, this is the show for you.
Today's guest is Hilsy, andwe'll be sharing an embarrassing
story about being wooed intolove and later scammed.
Unfortunately, it's much morecommon than people realize.
(00:22):
It's just that most are tooashamed to talk about it.
But the more this is discussedin the open, the more we can
prevent others from goingthrough it as well.
In fact, it's so prevalent thatan FBI task force was created
to bring awareness to theproblem and allow you to report
the crime.
Thanks for joining me, hilsey.
Hilsy (00:41):
Hi, tamara, good to see you, good to be here with you.
Tamara (00:44):
Yes, Thank you for coming on.
I mean, obviously it's notnecessarily the best topic to
want to bring up, but I wantedto have you on just for the
reason that it is so prevalentand just let people understand
what to look out for andhopefully they don't fall into
this as well.
Hilsy (01:03):
Yes, it's a very difficult topic for me.
This happened to me two yearsago and it's been really.
It was very heartbreaking whenit occurred.
When I found out that I wasbeing scammed, I just felt like
my whole world crashed and I wasangry.
(01:24):
I was angry, I was upset, Um, Iwas embarrassed.
I didn't want nothing to dowith anybody, I just wanted to
hide.
Um, it hurt.
It hurt very much because Ibecame vulnerable with this
person and, um, it was hard.
It was a very difficult timefor me.
(01:45):
So I was a little bit hesitantto talk to you about this
because it's very, um, just justheartbreaking.
It was.
I've I've healed since then, Um, but still a little, at this
point, a bit embarrassinglooking back at you.
Know, how could I, how did Ifall for this?
(02:08):
So when you share that you wantto let your listeners know what
to look out for.
You know I said yeah becauseI'd hate for more people to fall
into this trap.
It is very heartbreaking.
Tamara (02:24):
Yeah, to fall into this trap.
It's, it's.
It is very heartbreaking, yeah,it's.
The heartbreaking part toowhich I didn't even like think
about is more like the loss ofyou know cause, the financial
part of it too.
But yeah, if you, you literallythink you're in love with
someone and then you have togrieve that relationship, that
never really was, but you itfelt real and yeah.
So I just want to kind of getto the beginning of like like
how were you contacted or didyou contact?
(02:45):
Was it a dating site or?
And just kind of get through.
And then as we go through, wecan talk about like a red flag
you could have seen but didn'tknow at the time.
Or at the end we can talk aboutsome of the stuff to kind of
look out for.
But just like, where, how didit start?
Hilsy (02:59):
Yeah, absolutely so.
It was two years ago, 2022.
I'd just gotten out of a verylong relationship.
I was in a relationship for sixyears and I thought that I
(03:20):
needed to be in anotherrelationship to feel fulfilled.
And so, right there, that's ared flag on me, um.
So right there, that's a redflag on me, um, and that this is
what I discovered after thefact, doing it like a, I did
self-reflection of where did Igo wrong?
So I was unfulfilled to myself,looking for a relationship, and
(03:41):
I think a lot of people do that.
A lot of people think that theyneed to be in a partnership and
a relationship in order to behappy, in order to feel
fulfilled in life, and so theylook for that another to fulfill
them.
And so that, right, there was ared flag on me looking for
(04:01):
someone to fulfill me.
So, right there, I was alreadyvulnerable.
So these scammers look for menor women that are emotionally
needy or who are looking forthat love, right?
So, yeah, you go on a datingsite to meet someone, right?
(04:23):
And so they start right away.
Site to meet someone right, andso they start right away.
So the way this one happenedand, incidentally, this was the
second guy who tried to scam me.
So the first guy, we were incommunication for about a week
and their target is they talk toyou really nicely and it's all
via chat.
So they'll say like oh, hello,beautiful, how are you?
(04:45):
You look amazing, your picturelooks so good, and so that like
kind of hooks you.
If, if, right, if there's a redflag over here with you, like
if you're looking for that loveand affirmation, you're like Ooh
, someone's giving me attention,okay.
(05:07):
So, however, if, if you don'thave that red flag yourself,
someone comes on that strongly,now I'm like wait a minute, you
don't even know me, right?
How can you be talking to methis way?
You don't even know me.
But of course you know, Ididn't know that that was a hook
to get in with me.
(05:28):
Then they start.
Their other tactic is, if youstart responding to them,
they'll start texting youconstantly, just constantly.
How are you?
What are you doing?
I really like whatever pictureyou posted.
Um, I really like whateverpicture you posted.
(05:49):
What are you into?
If they're really good scammers, if they've been doing it for a
long time, they'll act likeit's a normal conversation via
text.
If they're brand new at being ascammer, they will send you
like a paragraph long, right atthe beginning.
So that's a red flag, meaningthey'll say hi, you look so good
in your picture, you'rebeautiful.
(06:09):
I'm looking for someone likeyou.
You look very loving and gentlein this.
You know, they'll make up allthis stuff and they'll give you
like a whole paragraph andyou're like wait a second, I,
you don't know me.
How can you?
How are you talking to me?
Tamara (06:27):
Like you know me.
Hilsy (06:28):
Yeah, right, so that's a red flag right there.
Has that ever occurred to you,uh?
Tamara (06:33):
no, no, I mean I.
That's why I asked you in thebeginning like which site was it
on Cause?
I think that would help meunderstand better.
Like was it an actual like adating site itself?
Or facebook or instagram?
Because I've had no reach outon apps like facebook and
instagram.
I just don't ever reply okay,no, I've had it.
Hilsy (06:52):
Um, I've been on several dating sites in the past two
years, so it happened to me.
It happened to me on hinge.
It happened to me on bum.
This particular one was on onecalled Elite Singles.
However, I have had it happenon Bumble, on Hinge.
(07:13):
I even went on Tinder, believeit or not, just to check it out.
It even happened on Tinder.
So it's on all the websites,it's all on all the dating apps.
So it's on all the websites,it's all on the all the dating
apps.
Okay, yep, and what?
What got me was with the secondguy was he asked for my number
(07:35):
right away and I gave him mynumber and he called me, and so
it was like a real person on theother end and he said he was
local and that he was working,and so then he would call me.
So he's like, hey, you know,I'm so and so, so nice to meet
you, and then he would send mepictures of himself doing
(07:56):
something.
So I'm like, oh, this guy isfor real, right.
And so it made it morebelievable.
He was a really, really goodscammer, yeah, um, and he would
like, by the second day, likethe first day, he called me like
three or four times.
The second day he called meabout six, seven times and he
(08:20):
would talk about oh, you know, Iwould love to take you out to
this place and I wanted weshould go check out this
restaurant and but I'm workingthis weekend, maybe the
following weekend we can seeeach other.
So it was very believable.
That was an actual person in myarea.
Yeah, he knew the area and hewould talk about restaurants in
(08:43):
the area or places in the area.
So it made it very believablethat this is a real person
that's in that area.
Tamara (08:51):
Yeah.
Hilsy (08:51):
So that's what made him really really good.
Tamara (08:54):
Yeah, and I know one of the things the FBI talks about
is if you haven't met in personwithin a few months, that's
probably something suspicious.
And did he give excuses allalong, or they were seem totally
viable.
Hilsy (09:08):
Oh yeah, he did so.
He would tell me.
So this happened.
I was living in the WashingtonDC area, I was living in
Virginia, and so he said helived in Maryland and he gave me
the name of the place inMaryland and would say, well,
I'm taking my son to this schooland I'm dropping him off, and
then my mom is here visiting andmy mom has cancer, and then he
(09:32):
starts telling me the sob storyof his mom like within the third
day of knowing him.
And you know I love my mom andall this about the mom.
So these are now starts withlike maybe four calls on the
first day, second day, six toseven on the third date is like
constant calling, constanttexting.
(09:54):
I'm thinking of you, I can'tstop thinking about you.
Oh, you're so beautiful, you'reso this, you're so that Right.
So, like I said, this guy was aprofessional.
Tamara (10:05):
Yeah.
Hilsy (10:06):
Now let me pause it there .
So for your listeners, who maynot get a professional guy like
this right away, I would say,red flags to look for on the
dating apps is if they send youthis long paragraph right at the
beginning tell you you'rebeautiful, you're so handsome
(10:26):
and I'm in the military, or I'mtraveling, or I have a son and I
need a nanny, or I'm divorcedlike right away, right off the
bat, and they tell you that theywant a relationship with
someone, that they can travel ordo things, but, like even
(10:51):
before getting to know you, theytell you these things.
That's a red flag.
So what I usually see now thatI know that, I'll ask them, I'll
say, oh okay, good to know whencan we meet?
And they'll say, well, let'stalk offline.
(11:11):
They'll say that They'll likesend me your number and I'll
call you offline, Becausethey'll either say I hardly
check my messages on the site.
They'll say that my messages onthe site, They'll say that.
Or they'll say I'm always onthe go and it's just easier for
me to call you At that point.
(11:32):
That's another red flag.
Do not give them your phonenumber.
Stay on the chat and I've toldand I've said to them.
I prefer to communicate viathis chat.
Then they go dead silent andthen they drop off.
Tamara (11:47):
Yeah.
Hilsy (11:48):
And that's how I know like, oh, that was a scammer.
And if they agree to stay onthe chat then I ask them well,
let's meet.
So a girlfriend of mine herrule is if they cannot see you
within three days then she dropsthem.
I think that's a really greatrule.
Tamara (12:11):
Yeah, I mean, mine's a little longer than that, but
yeah, I can see where, at leastwithin the first week or two.
Like you know, I've never beenscammed because I've always met
them fairly soon and, like yousaid, you just meet them right
away, within three to five days.
Hilsy (12:27):
I wouldn't go longer than a week because they can like,
rope you in, like, oh, I have totravel.
Oh, and that's what this thescammer did to me.
Like, oh, I have to travel tothis other state and, um, go,
get you know something for workor have to do a presentation.
I won't be able to meet withyou, I won't be able to do this.
(12:48):
So it was like excuse afterexcuse after excuse.
So I was like okay, okay, right, because we kept talking and I
kept liking the guy.
So, yeah, no, come up with arule for yourself to say if I
don't meet this person within Xnumber of days of talking, then
drop them.
Tamara (13:09):
Yeah, and I've, and I've had a couple of people want to
go to the phone, which and they,they turned out they weren't
scammers.
But I also, like, had plans tomeet too.
So it was like, but yeah, I cansee where, just waiting until
you actually meet them to do thenumber thing makes more sense,
just in case yes, yeah, just incase, because this the scammer
was like yeah, let's meet.
Hilsy (13:29):
Well, let's meet at x place at x time.
And he gave me a place in thearea and, um the a few hours
before we were supposed to meet,he called and he was like my
mom's sick, she just had chemothis morning.
She's throwing up, I can't meetwith you.
And then I was like well, I canbring something to you guys.
(13:52):
Oh, no, no, she doesn't want tosee anybody.
And I can't leave my son byhimself, Right?
So it was all these excuseswhich I bought into.
Tamara (14:00):
Yeah, and how long did it?
Did it generally on like or notgenerally?
Did it go on until you realizedhe was a scammer?
Um?
Hilsy (14:10):
or how long did it?
Tamara (14:11):
take to fall yeah yeah, for two months.
It was two months yeah, ofconstant calls and talks
constant calls and talks and hedid do a video.
Hilsy (14:22):
So he's like I'll call you, I'm gonna call you, I'm
going to call you via.
I'm going to call you, and Ithink it was via Skype.
And then later I found out thatscammers do this.
So what they will do is theywill do a recording of the
person.
So, in my case, the guy hepretended to be the celebrity,
this Brazilian celebrity, right,right, like I have no idea who
(14:45):
this brazilian person is, right,so this brazilian celebrity had
had videos that he had postedon instagram.
So this the scammer haddownloaded one of these videos
and they do voiceovers.
So now, with ai, you can do somuch.
So he would call me via Skype,play the video so I'm seeing him
(15:07):
, and then the video would last.
It was kind of like a littleblurry, like it would break up a
little bit, but it was justenough for I could see him, and
then he would be saying my nameand then it would cut off and so
I would be like, hey, whathappened?
(15:28):
And then he would text me andsay, oh, it's a really bad
connection, or whatever whateverexcuse, and then I would buy it
.
Tamara (15:37):
Yeah, yeah, I mean and I was gonna talk about this too
there's basically humantrafficking, where people are
forced to do this, like they areput into slave labor camps, and
they are forced to go onlineand seduce people and try to get
money from them, like luredinto thinking they're coming in
for a job, and then, once theyget there, it turns out to be
(16:00):
that they have to sit there atthe computer and scam people all
day long and get their money,and I'm sure you know so they
learn how to do it.
I'm sure they taught them allhow to do it.
You know the AI, like you said,and all this stuff out there
nowadays, like you definitelyhave to be careful.
Hilsy (16:16):
Well, yeah, and that's what happened.
So I met a guy previous to thesecond skimmer and we talked for
about a week and he would sendme pictures.
He was supposedly in Californiaand so he would send me
pictures of like these veryexpensive restaurants that he
would go eat, right.
So he found out what I'd liked,so I like to eat really good
(16:38):
food.
So he would send me pictures ofhim dining at this really fancy
restaurant and would say, oh,you know, I want to bring you
here or take pictures of likehim driving in his convertible
down the street with, like, thepalm trees, right.
And then one of these, he sendsme a picture of this house that
(17:00):
he supposedly owned in Floridaand he's like, yeah, I want to
take you there, so let's meetthere.
So he sends me a picture ofthis, right, and I'm like that's
a really fancy house.
So I look it up.
So one thing about me I've beenin real estate and so I looked
(17:21):
this house up.
I found the address.
I go look at the tax records, Igo look to see who owns the
house, and it was not the guy Iwas talking to.
It happened to be owned by thisretired colonel that was very
famous and I was likesomething's off here.
(17:45):
So then I kind of played hislittle game.
So what essentially was tryingto do was he was into day
trading and would send me hisday trades and show me how much
money he made.
So where he was going with thiswas trying to get me to give
him money so that I could too,day trade.
Tamara (18:06):
Yeah.
Hilsy (18:07):
And then, surprisingly enough or coincidentally, on
Instagram and on Facebook, Istarted getting people to do
crypto trading and day trading.
So what I've heard in thelittle research that I've done
is that scammers have this listthat has your name kind of like
(18:32):
the black list or this list andthey put people's names on there
that they've scammed or thatthey're talking to and they'll
put their details out on therePut your phone number, your
picture, your email so thatother scammers can target you.
Tamara (18:49):
Wow.
Hilsy (18:50):
Okay, so that's scary.
Tamara (18:53):
Yeah.
Hilsy (18:54):
Right, and so it's a very real thing.
I started getting targeted byall these different groups of
hey, invest here, invest thereall kinds of stuff and they look
like normal people, they looklike good people, but you don't
know who's behind that beautifulface or handsome face.
Tamara (19:15):
Yeah, I wish I could remember the name.
There's a show on Netflix thatbasically you know, they
catfishing, where they use otherpeople's pictures for different
online ads, kind of like you'resaying and then it was.
It happened to be a picture ofher ex-boyfriend, but they
didn't realize that, obviouslyyou know.
So the picture, then she washappened to be a cop, so it
worked out.
But yeah, I mean, it's justcrazy how, and like you said,
(19:37):
the AI and all the deep fakesand all that stuff, like I can't
even imagine, especiallygetting on this list like they
are, you're already vulnerableand then, like you're going to,
if you get bombarded with like12 to 15 threats or like you
know crazy scams, you might, onemight actually look real enough
to do like it's just yeah.
So what ended up happening with?
(19:59):
Or what if there's more to thebeginning of the story?
Or you can jump right to likethe If there's more to the
beginning of the story, or youcan jump right to the
consequences.
Hilsy (20:05):
Yeah.
So the other thing I do want toshare is that between the first
scammer and the second scammer,what happened was because I was
on these dating sites I hadn'ttold my family.
One thing that I discoveredwith these dating apps is that
they can track your location andso it'll track you and show
(20:27):
people you know who's around ifthey want to date.
So in one of these I happenedto have gone to Florida for a
workshop and then had drivendown so on my way.
So in Florida I kind of signedup for these apps.
Then I drove from Florida toVirginia.
When I got home I had, like allthese crazy let's say, 2,000
(20:52):
likes, right, like I was.
Like that is insane.
Two weeks later my parents get aphone call with this girl
crying and the girl says to themmom, I've been kidnapped, but
(21:14):
she's muffled.
And this guy comes on the phoneand says if you want to see
your daughter alive, you have tosend us $20,000.
Now it just happened,coincidentally, that day I had
gone into the office and Iworked in a place where there
was no cell phone reception andso I had put my phone on my desk
(21:35):
.
So I'm like I can't make anycalls, I don't need my phone.
So I had been in this trainingall day.
So I had been in this trainingall day.
My parents got the call aroundnoon, actually around 10 in the
morning.
I'm all day.
I don't get my phone untilabout 4.30 or 5, when I'm
(21:57):
finally in the room wherethere's cell phone reception and
I see all these missed calls.
My ex-husband called me.
He never calls me.
You texted me.
Hey, are you okay?
My mom had called me a milliontimes.
My best friend called me, myemployer called like all these
people are calling me andtexting me, are you okay?
(22:18):
And I'm like what, what'shappening?
I finally like um, I called mymom and she started crying.
She's like are you okay?
I said, yeah, I'm fine.
What's going on?
And she goes oh my gosh, I gotthis call this morning saying
that you were kidnapped and youwere on the phone crying and
(22:43):
that if I didn't give them$20,000, they were going to kill
you.
Tamara (22:48):
Wow.
Hilsy (22:50):
So I was like, what now?
I didn't tell my parents.
They got my phone or myinformation from these dating
apps Right?
I couldn't tell them that yeah.
But that's something like youhave to be very careful because
this happens a lot.
Now, fortunately my mom she's atough lady Like she got.
(23:14):
She talked the guy down to onehundred dollars OK and he was
like only one hundred dollars.
Your daughter's life doesn'tmatter.
And she was like my husbandjust had a heart attack.
We don't have that kind ofmoney, are you crazy?
Right?
So it went away.
But I was at the bank actuallya couple of weeks ago and the
(23:39):
same thing happened to acustomer that was in there
Actually, it was her niece.
They did that and the mom paidthe $20,000.
It's crazy, so don't.
If you get a call like that,just hang up, call the police.
Don't believe it.
Tamara (23:59):
Yeah.
Hilsy (24:00):
Because there's so many different scams out there.
So if you're going to be onlinedating, just be careful who you
share your phone number with.
My rule now well, I'm datingsomeone, I'm in a relationship
now, but prior to that Iwouldn't give them my phone
number until we met in person.
And if that worked out andthere was a connection there,
(24:24):
then I would give them my phonenumber.
If there was no connection,forget it.
No phone number.
Tamara (24:28):
Yeah.
Hilsy (24:29):
Because of what I've gone through.
So if this helps the listeners,just be very, very careful out
there.
Tamara (24:36):
Yeah, and I mean I've only ever been on like two sites
, so maybe that's part of theissue or like what's helped me
or saved me, because I'm prettymuch only on, like Bumble and I
was on match years ago, but I'veI've don't go on all of them
and I don't sign up much, like Idon't know I've got some
lifetime membership thing forBumble somehow and like I can
(24:56):
keep it forever and I justsnooze it when I don't need it.
But and then Bumble also I knowyou said you got someone there
as well, so they actually, Iguess if you respond to them,
then they would send yourwonderful stuff.
Hilsy (25:11):
Oh, yeah, yeah, just be very careful out there and don't
get me wrong.
I've met some great guys on allthe sites, including Tinder,
believe it or not.
I met this great guy and we hitit off and he wasn't ready for
anything.
So there's good people outthere, so don't shy away from it
.
Just be aware of what's outthere and know how to weed them
(25:36):
out.
Tamara (25:37):
Yeah, I'm going to read the thing from the FBI to like
say what to protect yourself orhow to do that, and we've
covered some of this.
But just to make it extra clear.
So be careful what you post andmake public.
Online Scammers can use detailsshared on social media and
dating sites to betterunderstand and target you.
Research the person's photo andprofile using online searches
(25:57):
to see if the image, name ordetails have been used elsewhere
.
That's pretty easy nowadays.
For sure, go slowly, ask a lotof questions while you're in the
beginning phases.
Beware if the individual seemstoo perfect or quickly asks you
to leave a dating service orsocial media site to communicate
directly.
Hilsy (26:15):
Yes.
Tamara (26:16):
Beware if the individual attempts to isolate you from
friends and family or requestinappropriate photos or
financial information that couldlater be used to extort you.
Beware if the individualpromises to meet you in person,
then always comes up with anexcuse why he or she can't.
If you haven't met the person,this says after a few months,
but we talked earlier about morelike days or weeks.
For what a reason you have goodreason to be suspicious.
(26:39):
No-transcript.
Hilsy (26:45):
Yes, yes, and that I I didn't know that I I quote,
unquote fell in love with thisguy because he was constantly in
my ear, constantly in my ear,and I I mean it was an
incredible time for me because Igot to do things that I never
(27:06):
thought possible Like he.
He knew what he was doing,meaning like he would motivate
me, inspire me, tell me how muchhe loved me and how much he
believed in me, and I sharedwith him some of the stuff that
I was working on, so he wouldlike incentivize me like oh,
baby, I know you can do it.
Like he was that support for meand that just made me fall more
(27:29):
in love with him, even though Ididn't see him, and because he
would send me these picturesthat were not even him, I
thought it was him.
Yeah, right, and so then Iwould share pictures too, and so
there was like this connectionthat was created, that made it
that it felt so real.
Tamara (27:46):
Yeah.
Hilsy (27:52):
And the way that I got scammed was he had this
supposedly engineering businessand he was going to go to do
this business in Alaska andinstall oil pipes.
And he sent me the actualdocuments.
So he sent me the proposal, hesent me the invitation letter
from, or the acceptance letterfrom, this company.
He sent me pictures of himbeing on the airplane, like it
was so believable, he was sogood, he was really really good
(28:18):
and a total professional, and soI believed everything.
And there was one instancewhere he showed me his bank
account and I mean he hadmillions in his bank account.
Obviously it was rigged, but Ididn't know.
He had shared his website withme and I'm an IT professional
and I fell for it.
(28:38):
So now what I do, meaning whatI mean by that, I didn't do my
research on the website, right,I did it after the fact.
So after the fact, I looked uphis website and it was all fake,
like it was open in Amsterdam,right, and there was no contact.
There's no like traceabilityback to who owns the website.
(29:02):
That would have been.
Had I done that at thebeginning, I would have been
like Ooh, red flag.
Tamara (29:06):
Yeah.
Hilsy (29:07):
Who is this guy?
Right?
So, cause, usually whenbusinesses register their their
website, there's a contactinformation contact name,
address and phone number.
He had none of them, yeah, andthere, and there are laws that
protects that information fromconsumers.
So just be very careful, doyour research.
Like I said, this guy wascomplete professional, yeah, in
(29:32):
doing that, so I believed it.
And so what happened?
The first time that I sent himmoney was, um, he, so he was
doing this business transaction.
He was going to send this moneyout to buy material.
He's showing me his bankaccount and on the bank account,
right, all the stuff that hehad told me he had bought for me
(29:53):
was on there.
So I'm seeing, like the gift ofthe necklace he bought me at
Tiffany's, like all this stuffthat he said he had bought for
me, that he was going to give me, when we saw each other when he
came back from Alaska, and Ibelieved it.
Tamara (30:08):
Yeah.
Hilsy (30:09):
So I'm in there.
He's like, oh my gosh, I I lostcell phone thing, I can't
internet signal, I can't sendthis wire payment.
Can you send this wire paymentfor me?
So I'm like, okay, sure, likehe was calling me from somebody
else's phone or whatever it was.
So I'm in there in the accountlocks up.
He had to send all this moneyout so he can get his material,
(30:35):
so that he could do his work.
So then I'm like, okay, well,let me partner with you and I'll
support your business and Iwill.
I'll do this as a businesstransaction and we'll I'll
partner up with you and supportyou in this business.
Tamara (30:53):
Yeah.
Hilsy (30:53):
Because this was our business.
Now, right, so that's how hegot me.
So I see it's locked up.
He, he had to, like, travel toLondon because it was a Barclay
bank to open or unlock thebusiness account and he was like
(31:14):
I really need this money.
So stupid me.
I have the money, I sent himthe money, I wire it, yeah, and
he gives me the name of thevendor and all the wire
transaction et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
So it like at that point,because there was websites,
vendor size invoices, the wholething was so very, very
(31:36):
believable yeah and that's howit started.
Um, luckily, I shared with myfamily about this guy and I was
so crazy about him I sharedpictures of him to my cousins
and they were like this guydoesn't sound like he's real,
but we believe he's a scammer,like the whole family started
(31:58):
trying to warn me and I wasn'tbuying it.
As a matter of fact, I becameupset at them, I became angry
and, tamara, you know me, I'mnot an angry person.
Tamara (32:08):
Yeah.
Hilsy (32:10):
I'm not vengeful, I'm not hateful, and I became that and
I was very surprised that I wasacting that way with my family.
So, long story short, thathappened like at towards the end
of September.
I kept sending the guy money.
At the end of October, mycousins they're like you need to
(32:33):
see this they send me thisInstagram of the guy, who's
actually the real person.
They send him me his Instagramwith his family, with his wife,
with his kids, and I was inshock.
Tamara (32:48):
The picture you thought was the guy you're talking to.
Hilsy (32:51):
Yes, so what the scammer had done was used a lot of the
pictures from this famouscelebrity and he had cropped his
face and put him in pictures ofhim supposedly working in
Alaska in the oil rig,supposedly doing all these other
(33:14):
things.
I was just dumbfounded.
I was for a loss of words Icouldn't even describe.
I cried, I called him, I yelledat him.
I was like how could you dothis to me?
How could you do this to me?
(33:35):
And then he just keptpretending that he loved me.
He's like I don't know whatyou're talking about.
I'm really me, I love you, I'mhere for you.
And I was like no, you don't dothis to someone you love.
(33:57):
And so I cut off allcommunication with him and I was
just distraught, just sodistraught because I put myself
in so much financial um,financial burden.
I took out personal loans toget this man for the business,
and so I was just heartbroken,distraught, I couldn't believe
it.
I was hating myself.
(34:19):
How could you fall for this?
Are you that desperate?
Like all these, all of thesethoughts, like I'm so ashamed I
can't show my face.
I got depressed.
I wanted nothing to do withanybody.
It was hard, it was a very hardtime for me.
Tamara (34:38):
Yeah, that sounds like it and, like you said, it was
seems so believable, minus thepart where he couldn't meet.
But even then he had decentexcuses and the fact that he was
like let's meet here and I hadto call you right before I've
had that happen where, like,someone will call like oh, I
can't meet this week, like, ornow, like I'm on my way, sorry,
something happened, let's meettomorrow or whatever.
So, like, everything you'resaying is so believable and
(35:00):
they've trained each other to dothis to people.
You know, and there, and so manypeople have been a victim of
this that it just no one reallywants to share, because you know
it seems embarrassing, likethey were.
How could they, like you said,how could you have fallen for it
?
But when it's thissophisticated, you know most
people- oh, it's very, very,very, very, very sophisticated.
Hilsy (35:23):
He had it all down packed , he had the website, he had the
, the business, the, the books,the invoices, the letters, the
logos.
He had it, all the picturesthat went along with the story
that he was telling me what waswhat he was doing or where he
was at or where he was traveling, um, just the whole thing, even
(35:48):
the fake bank account in thetransactions and everything just
very, very, very believable.
And, like I said, like now,looking back, I mean I learned a
lot from this experience and Ithink for me I was lucky enough
that at that time I had apersonal coach while this whole
(36:10):
thing happened, and so thispersonal coach like really
helped me come out of that, likehe let me grieve it and then
walk me through it.
Yeah, so I don't think a lot ofpeople have that, because I did
some research on things thathave happened like this on on
women and men and some.
(36:31):
It takes them decades torecover, years to recover and
even trust someone, or evenfinancially it's a huge
financial burden.
Yeah, and I was lucky that Ihad this coach that helped me
through it and it took me sometime and I went through the
grievance process, because whenyou grieve, you're like I was
(36:53):
sad, I was depressed, I was likehow could this happen to me?
And then it was like I becameangry and I became hateful and
very upset, and then it was likeit took me a while to accept it
, like this is it right.
And then to know that I'm okay,it wasn't my fault, and then
(37:18):
looking at like, how did thishappen to me?
And so I did a lot ofself-reflection of what was
missing with me, that I waslooking for that in someone else
.
And I took some time to like,be with myself and journal.
And I looked at some programs.
There's some great programs outthere on the website, on
(37:39):
Facebook, on Instagram, and Ifound one of this woman about
self-discovery and self-love andI did some of that journaling
and what I discovered was I wasmissing love in my life growing
up, so that I was looking forthese relationships to fulfill
me.
So that was a really big changefor me, that I started loving
(38:03):
myself, doing self-love, and Istarted dating myself.
So and I would still go ondates on the apps, but now I was
a bit more aware.
I had like, okay, this is whathappened to me, these are these
red flags.
And so then I started dating todiscover who I am and who and
(38:26):
what I liked in guys or wouldn'tlike in guys.
And it was.
I had those rules If wecouldn't meet within three days,
forget it.
I would not share my phonenumber.
I would give them after we metand then, from that point on, my
whole dating changed completely.
But I did like I got bombardedby scammers and then I knew who
(38:50):
they were.
Tamara (38:50):
Yeah, and just blocking them, like stop it, or like.
I know you're on the.
You said there's a list, so I'mguessing if you block enough of
them, they'll probably likemaybe they take you off the list
, like nevermind, she's onto us,or something.
Hilsy (39:03):
I don't know.
So the way the scams cameinterestingly it wasn't really
romance, some some, it was a lotwas things on my phone Like you
have a UPS package, click onthis link or we're interviewing
and your resume came up.
(39:24):
Click on this link, or I wouldget random text messages like hi
, how are you today?
And I'd be like who is this?
Oh, this is.
Let's say, this is, this, isTony.
I'm like I don't know a Tonyand they'd be like oh, this
(39:45):
isn't Mary, like no, oh well,you know, you sound like a nice
person, can we chat?
And I'd be like no, and thenI'd block them.
Tamara (39:55):
Yeah, Okay, yeah, I have gotten stuff like that, like,
oh, we're interviewing for thisor that, but I just block them
immediately if I don't know thepeople.
So I've, I'm more, I'm muchmore skeptical and much more
like assume the worst kind ofperson so it could be people
that actually want to reach out,but I'm like Nope, I'm blocking
you.
Hilsy (40:13):
Yeah, you don't.
Yeah, at this point you don'tknow.
But yeah, you'll get bombardedand all kinds of stuff Random
emails, stuff on Facebook, stuffon Instagram, and yeah, no, I
block, I block them.
So, yeah, just be very carefulwith how you share your data out
(40:34):
there.
Tamara (40:34):
Yeah, and I had a friend that was in a similar situation
.
It was a guy and he said thatshe came on really strong,
really early, like you said, andwanted to get on WhatsApp right
away.
But he had they had beenrevealing like being vulnerable
and like kind of she was tryingto fast track a relationship.
And he texted me because heknows I have this podcast.
He's like I don't know what'shappening and he's like you know
(40:57):
, she's like really getting,like they're just getting really
close or vulnerable.
And then he's like and she'slike it's a little a lot and I
said, well, did she?
If she went right to whatsapp,it's probably a scam.
So he blocked her right away.
So, like you said, it happensto men and women.
Yeah, I think the biggest thingfrom the FBI stuff was take the
(41:21):
pictures.
I know there's a website tocheck pictures that have been
used elsewhere and just doublecheck.
Hilsy (41:30):
The other thing I want to share is be careful what you
post, what pictures you post onsocial media, um, and what
pictures you share with someoneyou're, um, on a dating site,
just going back and forth, youknow, if you haven't met that
person in person?
Um, because I had another thinghappen to me.
So I I'm originally fromHonduras and a few years back I
(41:53):
posted some things on Facebook,some pictures, and, um, actually
it was last year my aunt callsme, send me a message on
WhatsApp and she's like hey, Ididn't know you were in Honduras
, honduras, actually.
She calls my mom.
She's like how come you didn'ttell us that Hilsey was coming
to Honduras?
We could have arranged to pickher up earlier.
(42:14):
And my mom's like what do youmean?
She's right here in front of me, she's not anywhere.
And my aunt's like well, I justgot a call from her saying that
she's at the airport and thatshe needs money so she can get
out of customs.
Yeah, and my mom is like don'tsend the money, don't, right?
(42:39):
And so what turned out to bewas this guy, and he kept, and
he would send her WhatsAppmessages and send her pictures
of me.
So she thought it was me thisguy was in prison and he
(42:59):
pretended to be these otherwomen, like he would have a high
pitched voice, I guess, and andmy, my aunt is a Christian
woman, so she would haveconversations, like she went
along with it, and then herevealed that he was in prison
and then that's how he wasgetting money for his family to
to support his family.
So, yeah, you know, just becareful.
(43:21):
So many types of scams outthere.
Tamara (43:24):
Yeah, for sure yeah, and definitely don't click links
that you don't know where theycome from.
And like you, said, yeah, allthe extra cause the more you
post and everyone wants to sharetheir life all the time.
But yeah, if you post a pictureof a kid and then they're like,
oh, they can see the name andthey could message you and say
we have your kid.
And like it happened to you,you were out for the day without
your phone and like 10different people thought you
(43:46):
were taken.
Yeah, and like the woman yousaid at the bank who was taking
out the $20,000 to pay someonethat probably didn't even have
her niece, obviously.
Yes, All right.
Well, I think you get the gist.
People Definitely be carefulout there.
There are great people outthere, for sure, and hopefully
we'll all find each other.
(44:06):
And now that it's even beingscarier, hopefully more people
will look up in real life andsay hi to each other in real
life and know that you'remeeting real people.
But as long as you're safe's,you can do online as well.
But is there any like partingthoughts or closing comments you
want to make?
Hilsy (44:26):
I would say, if you're out there dating, get to know
you and just make sure you'redating because you want to share
your life or have someone inyour life to.
I don't want to say to make itbetter, but to like have fun and
enjoy life with and not someonein that you're dating for that
(44:48):
reason, not because you feelalone and like you need someone
to fulfill you and make youhappy.
No one can make you happy.
The only person who can makeyou happy is yourself, and so
find a partner that you're goingto have fun with and enjoy each
other and like increase or addto both of you.
(45:09):
Add to each other's lives andmake it enrich your lives.
Not someone where, and not bein a dating, in a situation
where you're unfulfilled, youfeel empty and alone, where
you're sad and depressed andyou're wanting someone to fix
you, or you want to fix someone.
That's not going to work andthat's what makes you more
(45:31):
vulnerable and falling for scamslike this.
Tamara (45:34):
Yeah, and now that you say that I meant to add this
yeah, and now that you say thatI meant to add we grow up with
the fairy tales of finding ourPrince Charming and all the
movies.
Are some guy coming in torescue you and saying all the
right things that you've alwayswanted to hear?
And those are the ones that arethe scammers, because the real
guys they might think that stuff, but they're not that great at
(45:55):
it.
Real guys are not that great atdating, so they don't know all
this stuff to say, you know, andit's the nicer ones that are
probably the most clueless andthe most you know unsure.
So, oh, absolutely.
Hilsy (46:09):
Yes, I've seen that, yeah .
Tamara (46:11):
Give the weird guys a chance or the nice ones that
stumble.
Hilsy (46:16):
That's right.
Yeah, give those shy guys achance, or shy women a chance?
Tamara (46:25):
Exactly, yeah, and thank you so much for doing this and
I know, like you said, it's alittle embarrassing, but it's
been a couple of years, sohopefully you've, as you said,
you've healed, you've grown,you've learned from it, and
hopefully this will help othersjust not to fall for this or get
out of it if they are in it,and do some more research.
You know, if they think they'rein the middle of something like
this, Absolutely yes, and itdoes happen more often than we,
than we think.
Hilsy (46:45):
I've shared my story with a few men and women and,
surprisingly, I've met aboutfour or five men and women who
has, who they've sent money,they've been scammed, and even
family members who were scammedin buying things from Facebook.
A family member was buying thispuppy and the person said, well
(47:07):
, send us the money first andthen we'll meet you and give you
the puppy.
And she sent the money and theynever got the puppy.
So it's all different types ofscams out there.
So just be very, very carefulfor sure.
Tamara (47:22):
All right, well, I will leave it there, and if you
learned something from thisepisode or enjoyed it, be sure
to like it and share it withyour friends and rate it as well
.
So thank you again for being on.
Hilsy (47:33):
He'll see thank you for having me this.
Um, this is very helpful for meto come out of the closet with
this information.
Tamara (47:42):
Yeah, essentially knowing yes, and especially
knowing you're helping others.
Like you know, if anyone canlearn, if only one person is,
doesn't fall for this because ofthis, that'd be awesome so yes,
absolutely yes.
Hilsy (47:55):
Yeah, be careful, have fun dating you, just be very
careful.
Tamara (47:58):
Yeah, well said.
All right, thanks everyone.
Hope you enjoyed it.
Bye.
Hilsy (48:04):
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.