August 19, 2025 • 38 mins
Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to show up completely authentically in your relationships? To strip away the masks, scripts, and expectations that keep you playing small?
Intimacy coach Hani Cheng takes us on a profound journey into radical honesty and deep connection. She introduces the concept of our "infinite being" – that part of ourselves that exists beyond our physical form and sees the bigger picture of our lives. By connecting with this expanded self, we can discern our true desires from the conditioning and external influences that often drive our choices.
The magic happens when we learn to trust these authentic desires, even when they seem unconventional or taboo. As Hani explains, "Feed yourself with things that light you up from deep within. That's the most pleasurable and exploratory, rewarding experiences." This alignment creates a magnetic quality she likens to becoming a "lighthouse" – radiating your unique energy and naturally attracting compatible relationships and opportunities.
But what about when subconscious patterns interfere with our authentic expression? Through a fascinating live demonstration, Hani guides us through energy work techniques to identify and clear these blocks. She teaches us to distinguish between what's truly ours and what's "hijacking" our expression.
For couples seeking deeper connection, Hani offers practical wisdom on creating a relationship vision grounded in values like respect, freedom, and truth. She introduces revolutionary approaches to intimate communication, including tuning into the wisdom of the body as a source of guidance. "What is the truth of what my genitals want today?" becomes a pathway to presence, pleasure, and profound connection.
Ready to transform your relationships through radical honesty? Listen now and discover how authentic self-expression can lead to the connection you've always craved. https://tantrasingapore.com/
Thanks for listening!
Check out this site for everthing to know about women's pleasure including video tutorials and great suggestions for bedroom time!!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth
.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
podcast Frank talk about sex and dating.
Hello, tamara here, welcome tothe show.
Today's guest is Hani Cheng.
She's an author, intimacy andtransformation coach and global
speaker, and we'll be talkingabout helping people have deeper
, more connected and radicallyhonest relationships.
Thanks for joining me, hani.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Thank you, so excited to be here, as always.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yes, I think there are.
Listeners will get a lot fromthis, so let's dive right into
it, and I know we can start withthe author part of your title
and just share what you talkabout.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I've written an Amazon bestseller called you
Only Live Once.
Life and Business InnovationStyle, which is basically.
It was born out of myconnection to my inner voice,
where my inner voice actuallyspoke through me and told me
what exactly I needed to do tostop a 15-year disease that
nobody else could figure out,and so I had a methodology that
(01:03):
kind of brought me to that stageduring the 15 years of research
, and that's all in that book.
You Only Live Once.
And I also have written manyother e-books as well, such as
for tantalizing questions thatyou can ask to deepen
relationships and your sexuality, relationship with your
sexuality and ErectileDysfunction.
To to erectile freedom isanother one.
(01:25):
We've got central liberationplaybook, which is liberating
your connection with your innersenses and the inner senses
being like your pleasure itself,so your genitalia and also the
aliveness and desire that liveswithin you, and that desire can
be a desire that is erotic.
It could also be be a desirethat's about your purpose.
(01:46):
It's a very intimate connectionto who you truly are and how
you want to be in the world.
Um and many more, so many morelike um and we.
My entire um instagram is justfull of like poetry and we're
compiling that into a booklet,as well as um activations,
energy activations, which isanother area that I work on.
(02:06):
A lot of it is talking to oursubconscious and removing any
type of limitation from ourthinking in many, many layers.
So that's another collection aswell, yeah so lots of stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
But I mean and the other title about transformation
coach, I'm sure a lot of itcomes from that, just
understanding that, yeah, andI've had past guests who say you
can choose.
You know a lot of people thinkyou ended up how you are and
that's how you are, but you knowa lot of people in the
transformation world know thatyou can choose differently.
It's a little harder but youcan.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So all the time all the time, I mean some of the
places where we get the mostpain is actually a window for
love, and that takes rewritingeverything we know about it.
Most recently, you know, thefeeling of jealousy and sexual
freedom are in complete conflict, and so I was taking people
through that wholetransformation of how to even
(03:13):
rewrite their relationship withallowing their most loved ones
to feel and to pursue sexualfreedom, and so that was that
shows you that you cancompletely change a narrative
about a topic.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah, yeah, definitely yeah, because I've
had a few episodes about thelifestyle and swinging and that
kind of stuff.
So I'm guessing that's what youyeah, you're referring to.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Not so much about that because, like, some people
are just simply doing thatduring like long distances or
like different circumstances, sonot necessarily like in a
community context, but but it'sdefinitely about rewriting what
we understand about love, and sothat's very, very ingrained by
mainstream media and so yeah, sodoing a lot of transformational
(04:02):
work really allows us to haveour own narrative, our own
blueprint, our own truth aroundwhat love is truthfully for us
as opposed to what we think itis, and that's part of the
reason why radical honesty is soimportant.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, and I guess the biggest trick on that is
knowing yourself Like you can.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And then, like you said, subconscious stuff too.
So I want to say more aboutthat.
Just how, that, how?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
you get people to see what they really want, or
Totally Not only just see whatthey really want, but see like
in the process of getting towhat you really want, so many
things could come in conflictwith that.
And then recognizing thosesubconscious voices as
deterrence rather than truth isso important, for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yeah, especially like your family, you know a lot of
people want to do what they're,yeah, other people tell them to
do or what they should do, andthey just kind of go along to
not be in conflict.
So, yeah, I can see where it'dbe hard to choose your own path
and a lot of people lose friendsand stuff potentially.
But if it's very true to youand, like you said, radically
(05:12):
honest and what is the firststep to even, or how does that
process like, start and go?
Speaker 1 (05:20):
the first step is really understanding that we
actually have a part of usthat's connected to this bigger
picture, that has a bird eyeview of, like, everything that
is happening.
In my philosophy I call it ourinfinite being, which is
basically a part of us thatexists beyond our skin.
Right, imagine our heartsexpanding into the ethers of the
(05:43):
universe.
And so the first step is reallyconnecting to that.
So we're not in our egos only,or only in our brains, or only
in our hearts, only in ourgenitalia, or only in our bodies
.
We're beyond as well.
We're getting to see thingsfrom a much larger perspective,
of a place of like, infinitelove, or maybe it's a place of
like.
You know, I I want to seethings from a limitless
(06:05):
perspective.
And then, what do I actuallywant in this?
How do I want to live my life?
Don't want to live it fullywith um conflict, where I get
triggered all the time.
Don't want to live it infreedom of you know, emotions,
that I'm able to work throughemotions and come out the other
end and always find my way backto a centered, grounded content,
(06:25):
peaceful excitement and thingslike that.
And how do I want to conduct myday-to-day in the face of
challenges, and thenunderstanding that and then
slowly, slowly, crafting it backto what is my inner voice
telling me that I actually want,and is this voice contaminated
(06:49):
with or does it have influenceof others, or is it a true voice
?
And then really feeling intowhat's going to make you feel
the lightest and the mostexpanded, if you're looking to
experience your potentialexpanded.
If you're looking to experienceyour potential, and if you and
(07:10):
then the second step is trustingthat potential, trusting your
desire, trusting that yourdesire is going to lead, to lead
you to, if it's an honest umsacred, like deep, like internal
desire that is really speakingto you through this, like humble
, um calm voice, and it's notlike that oh, I need to get that
(07:31):
, I need it.
It's not like that Like this.
The, the flavor of that voice islike you know, I do have this,
like I really, really would lovethis in my life, like it's sort
of like that kind of an energythat it comes out of and when
you do hear that, then to trustthat you know you do deserve
something like that, even ifit's taboo, even if it's
completely unconventional, eventhough it's something that
(07:53):
you've never even thought thatcould be something you'd want.
It's to actually entertain thatand then figure out what you
need to do in order toreorientate yourself to be the
steward of this desire.
It's almost like birthing achild through a birth canal.
(08:20):
Maybe you're looking at a placewhere your orgasm is constantly
growing, or something where youfeel liberated and, in choice
and clarity, you want toco-create.
Then it's about not settlingand about how to cultivate that
and then putting that intoaction.
But you got to first believethat it's true and that you can
(08:41):
actually have these things atthe levels that you're looking
at.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, I was going to share an example but then you
talked about relationships, sowe'll see if it fits.
But I always wanted to trystand-up comedy and it scared me
to death and I never thought Iwould do it in a million and
million years.
And I ended up.
After a breakup, I took classand started doing it for three
years but it was something likeI always deep down knew I wanted
(09:06):
to try, but I was like soscared but I'm very glad I did
it.
And then it turned into thispodcast, because I did that for
three years and then talk aboutthe same stuff now in the
podcast.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I am telling jokes for us.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Yeah, that's what you would think, but it's funny
Like I don't usually get intothe funny stuff in this, but
it's just the is that it isalways fresh.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's like going for something exciting, it's fun,
it's light, it's like creative,and so when you know that
there's something in you that isso deep that wants to come
through and you entertain it,that in itself is life-giving.
We're looking at things thatare giving us life right.
If we're a renewable source ofenergy, like, how are we going
to charge our batteries?
We charge our batteries withexperiences that are aligned to
(10:08):
us.
So if it's aligned to us, wecan take that 100% charge and
put it in and we can probablyget like 90% charge.
But if it's not aligned, you caneat like I don't know, 5,000
McDonald's hamburgers no offenseto those who love it and it
might not fulfill the hungerthat you're wanting to fill.
So feed ourselves with thingsthat light us up, that are from
(10:29):
deep within.
That's the most pleasurable andexploratory, rewarding
experiences.
And it's harder to find that asyou grow older, as we age,
because we try so many newthings already in our lives.
And then you're like I'vealready done this or done that
(10:52):
and maybe you know your wholelife you've already been
exploring.
And then it's about findinglayers and nuances and depth.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Yeah, that makes sense and I know I'm not sure if
this flows right here, but youtalk about the role of energy
consent and body language inmagnetic connection.
I can see where, if you wantthat, you kind of make it happen
signal.
So what I mean by that is likea lighthouse, right.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
The way I like to operate is I like to make my
energy connected.
So we talked about infinitebeing in the beginning of this
podcast.
Infinite being is the part ofyou that sees everything and
that is infinite.
So I like to have my infinitebeing in me and my actions be
congruent, and what that meansis that the inner voices that I
(11:48):
hear, I'm taking action on themand then making decisions based
on my value systems, which isbasically based on how I want my
life to look like right, and soin our teachings, we really
look through.
Let's say, freedom is a freedom, and true self and choice might
be three, three words that youidentify in.
(12:08):
I think it's like chapter one,where we look at your yummy
commitments, your uniquemagnetic momentum.
So then, when I feed myselfthat experience of freedom and
that experience of choice andthat experience of fun, I think
actually for me it's's freedom,fun and inspired connections.
These are my three big ones,and then there's a lot of
ancillary ones, and then thatcreates an energy of me.
(12:31):
So for you, what might that be?
For you as listeners, what isthe thing that, when you get it
like, you just feel that life isworthy of living, like this is
what life is about.
Like everything is going great,right, and then that's energy.
Life is worthy of living Like.
This is what life is about.
Like everything is going great,right, and then that's energy.
And when you're naturallycharging yourself up with these
things that make you feel happy,then, when things are taking
(12:53):
you down, you got to see that isit as a violation of one of
your sources of life, right?
So these are like life forceunits.
It's like you're putting inlife force, energy into you and
then from there you become youas a lighthouse.
(13:17):
You're filled with your ownversion of these elements and
these words that are expressingthemselves through you, and
that's why you become magnetic.
It's unique.
Your unique magnetic momentumis your unique, right?
Because these words and who youare is unique.
What charges you up is unique.
And then it's magnetizingbecause when we see someone
(13:38):
truly standing in who they areand not afraid to authentically
be them, and they're justbeautiful, no matter what shape,
it's not a visual beauty, it isan energetic beauty.
It is a beauty that is likeshining through the inside.
It's like as if it's likeradiating out from, like the way
that I see it for women, it'slike our wombs, our genitalia,
(13:58):
it's actually radiating throughour faces.
It's like that feeling ofbeyond pregnant to glow type of
glow, and then for men as well,it's like that, that sense of
like, um, relaxation and easycharm and um and easy ease of
connection and just not beingattached to the world.
You know, you're feeling justnaturally confident and that's
(14:21):
what's.
That's what that radiance andthat magnetism is really about.
And when we're talking aboutenergy work, we're talking about
any thought process or any ideathat's coming in to even
challenge your radiance, thatdims you down or that makes you
feel even slightly more insecure, then needs to be examined,
(14:43):
because you and your radianceand you and your confidence and
you and your magnetism is notsomeone who loops in your head
and starts just feeling badabout something that happened
and then each time it loops inyour head, feeling worse about
it.
That type of looping behaviornow a lot of times goes past our
(15:08):
consciousness, so we don't evenrealize we're doing it because
there's some of the thoughtshave been there for a long time.
But when we realize it and wenotice that and it's just like,
oh my gosh, like I got hookedinto that programming again and
and it's really about now housecleaning and awareness in your
energetic field to stay true.
(15:29):
And when you're so potent inwho you are and so clear in the
signal that you're spreading outwhich is the first part of this
topic that I was sharing thenyou're Things appear in your
life that is an exact match, ora very close match to win-win.
(15:49):
So win-win-win, win-win-winsituations start happening.
You're just like wow, like howdid this puzzle piece
immediately slide into my lifeas an opportunity, as something
that you're wanting?
I hope that's not too meta.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
No, I had that exact example.
It's like several times where Ijust happened to meet the right
person at the right time and itwas like there's no reason it
should have happened, Like we'reonly two people in the room and
that was like the one person inthe entire city I needed to
talk to.
So yeah, I definitely see thatkind of stuff happen.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
And then you're leveraging less pushing, which
is, you can analyze and planyour way through that.
You could have like gonethrough every phone book and
every internet search to lookfor that person and try to
organize a call in this, or youcould leverage off of this
synchronicity, flow or ease, orjust trust that you, being you,
(16:43):
is going to land you in the spot.
You is going to land you in thespot by your.
Our work is to be us in themost healed version, as some
might put it, or the most clearsignal, and that's the most
important part in that wholeenergy clearing phase yeah, and
I know it's easier said thandone to heal it like how do you
like, how do you heal thesubconscious stuff?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
that's there.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, every single call is about taking those
subconscious thoughts apart.
Maybe you could give me anexample of something that you
hear my often with from yourclients, or or just didn't find
the grapevines.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, well, I actually.
Yeah, I'll say I was.
I did this on the previousepisode, but we didn't really
get to it.
So I, for some reason, wheneverI dress up, I get bitchier in a
relationship, like I just likesomething.
I'm sure it's like you knowinsecurities or something.
(17:44):
But when I dress up and look mybest and I'm going on a date,
that's when I get like mean tomy partner, like I don't know if
that what?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Are you so?
So the way that I would look atthat is are you getting meaner
to your partner?
So like, is your infinite beinggetting meaner to your partner?
We're going straight to thedeep end.
I could do this on theintellectual level and and we
could do this like NLP stuff andyou do this coaching style, but
I'm going to go straight tolet's see what energy this is
coming from.
Okay.
So, listeners, this is like theenergy work we're going.
(18:17):
There's layers, there's likeyou can analyze it.
You can go to psychologicallayer, you can go to
intellectual layer, but we'rejust going to go straight to
read the energy.
So this, um, the meaner part Iwould like to see is it your
infinite being that is beingmean to your partner?
And so you just want toperceive that as um, from your
intuition, which is like alighter, heavy feeling.
Okay, and then is it yourinfinite body that is being mean
(18:41):
to your partner, or is itsomething else that's
interfering, that's being meanto your partner?
So you're kind of just askingyourself these three questions
and you're sensing what categoryhas the most information or
that feels lighter.
What did you get?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yeah, that's the part I get stuck on.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yeah, maybe we don't use this, but I will try to go
there, okay.
Well, I can help you as well.
So it's very common to getstuck to hear your inner voice,
like what we talked aboutearlier in this call, like
hearing our inner voice andletting our inner voice share
with us, like what's actuallyhappening, because our inner
voice sometimes, like a radiostation, could have so many
wi-fi and frequency and signalsgoing through it.
So it's really important toclear that first, because your
(19:27):
inner voice actually lives, likealmost under the river, in a
very peaceful place, and we needto, like get through all the
stuff to actually get into themiddle and the core of it.
So, if you're willing, I coulddo a quick breath work practice
to clear out the energy and thenjust see what it is, and then,
for listeners, you could do thisfor yourself as well.
If you want to be clearing inyour field today, if you're up
(19:48):
for it yeah, sure, okay.
So take a deep breath in You'rejust wanting to breathe in
through your perineum all theway up your back of your spine.
This is a common breath workthat I teach, that I love and
(20:11):
then, as you exhale, see thatbreath come down your front of
your face and then groundeverything that's in your field
down into the center of theearth, exhaling with a sigh Deep
breath in again, bringing inall the energy from the bottom
of your body up through yourspine.
And in this exhale I want youto exhale through your heart,
(20:34):
your pelvis and your throat andthen radiate that into the room.
Take a deep breath into yourheart and your pelvis and your
head again and expand all theway out to the ends of this
(20:57):
earth In your exhale.
Good, and now take a deepbreath in again and extend all
the way into the ends of theuniverse and beyond.
I want you to connect with thepart of you that is infinite, so
(21:18):
breathing in, imagine just aspace that is you, because as
you're exhaling, you're reachingout towards the part of you
that is able to travel that far,and then just find a spot that
it keeps going and going andgoing and going all the way, all
the way, and further on,further on, until there's no end
(21:40):
, and just feel yourself, expandin those direction and connect
with your infinite being, orthat sense of that endlessness
that keeps expanding, beautiful,and then, from this place,
we're going to just check inwith those three answers and
(22:01):
those three questions againbeing mean.
Is this a message from?
Is your infinite being feelingmean, breathe in and notice the
weight of this in your body?
Is it medium weight?
You can rank it from like oneto five, five being the heaviest
(22:23):
and one being the lightest.
You can just take note and thenyou inhale, let that go, and
then you can ask is this beingmean scenario?
How much of this is yourinfinite body feeling mean,
(22:46):
breathing in, notice thatexperience and notice that
heavier lightness from one tofive, okay.
And then is there somethingelse that's interfering, that's
being made, and breathing in andexhale and experience that.
If you just want to share withme what feels the most expansive
(23:08):
and lightest and experiencethat, you just want to share
with me what feels the mostexpansive and lightest, more
closer to a one.
The lightest are the first andthe last, the first and the last
one, right, yeah, and if youwere to compare the first one
and the last one, is there onethat's slightly lighter?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Probably the last one .
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yeah, so we're like infinite beings feeling mean.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
No, the second one is definitely the body is the
meanest and then the infinitebeing is just like.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
But the last one is the lightest right, Just like.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
So the last one I lightest right, just like it's.
So the last one.
I was just saying it'sdefinitely not external.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
But it is, but it is, it is.
So this is the trick.
The last one is the lightest.
So the last one is actuallyinfluencing the body, which is
then creating the thoughts, andso it's actually an external,
not that it's influenced byexternal, but the construct is
(24:17):
one that is not your truth andwho you really are.
So, so, when you feel into yourlove and your infinity and you
feel like how you really feel inthis beautiful dressed up
position she's just struttingalong, you know, in her, like
(24:38):
beauty, and just walking in thething and you're enjoying it
there is a little bit of thatdominance feeling, but there's
also there's pride and there'salso that feeling of you know
like I'm gorgeous and I know it,like that sort of experience,
right, and then there's thatedge that's coming, that.
(25:01):
There's that edge of thatmeanness, but it's not
necessarily like an authenticmeanness, because it's actually
something that's influenced whenwe tuned into infant being,
infant body or something else.
The something else is a lotlighter, which means that
there's something else thatlikes to hijack the space and
put that little edge in there.
(25:21):
Yeah, and it's not yours,because your truth is that you
just want to radiate your beautyand you just want to radiate
your confidence yeah, I mean,yeah, when you mentioned
dominance, like that was kind ofit too.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I started taking charge, more like when I'm, yeah
, in that state and I'm tryingto be in my more in my feminine
of not, you know, letting theman take charge or being I don't
know yeah it's so much fun.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Sorry, we went there.
I hope you, I hope that was allright and fun for you.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, yeah, thank you yeah, so, but back to your
stuff.
Or like obviously this is partof your stuff, you know this is
what you do as well, but um,yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
So listeners, like it's really just, um, like if
you were to look at your ownthing.
It's really about looking at.
You know, where are thesevoices coming from?
When you're not yourself, youfeel a little bit off right.
And so in this particularexample, what you can see, um,
if I may kind of just share thelearnings from it, is that when
(26:26):
we're feeling a little meaner,or we're feeling a little bit
kind of more or less than who wefeel we are, then we can always
ask is this our truth?
Truth, right?
So infinite being and infinitebody are both our bodies and our
being.
So these are our truths.
And then there's also externalfactors that could be
(26:47):
interfering with that.
It could be interfering in thedial of it zero to 100.
It could over-exaggeratecertain things, it could trigger
us, whatnot.
So the important thing or thetrick here is to decipher how
can we be the most radiant andtrue version of ourselves?
(27:07):
Maybe that dominance in thisparticular case is the true, the
trueness, and there's alsofemininity.
Then the discovery is what isthat feminine dominance that is
both electrifying and also insurrender and at the same time
radiating confidence?
So that would be the funmixture that I would explore.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
I don't know about yeah, no I can see that where,
yeah, like kind of use it adifferent way or or see it a
different way maybe.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Yeah, I like the, the feminine version of dominance,
like I said totally like thebeauty of it, right, and you
know our, our vaginas arebeautiful and they are sometimes
very demand not demanding, butthey know what they want and so
(28:00):
in that sense, you are creatingand co-creating this experience
in your femininity, and so Ithink that really lends really
well into some of the work thatI do.
That is all about listening toour feminine through our
genitals but and also throughour hearts.
(28:21):
Right, our authenticity livesin our heart.
We have our authentic genitaliathat also speaks through us,
and if we can really listen towhat she wants instead of what
we want, there's a difference incommunication.
So I'm kind of jumping or justshifting into this gear.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Yeah, and how does that work with in a relationship
?
Is it, do you talk about it oryou just are your best selves
with each other, or how do youlike tackle relationship stuff
or coaching?
Speaker 1 (28:57):
tell me more so like talking to the genitalia inside
of a relationship, or more likerelationship connection and
deepening the connection?
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah, like.
Yeah, the last part likedeepening a relationship while
both of you kind of utilizingyour, your own like life force
or genitalia or like you know,kind of both being your best
versions and how you worktogether, like how you get kind
of both being your best versionsand how you work together, like
how you get so I love doing so.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
What I was sharing with you guys earlier was to
have a vision of where and whatthis relationship is for right.
So, for example, I'll give youa list that my most recent
client was sharing, which I waskind of referring to because it
was just kind of pulled up on myscreen when I was writing notes
, so which is, basically, wecome up with a relationship
vision of what this relationshipis created for right.
It's created to embody both ofour true selves.
(29:53):
Someone might tell me.
They might say that, you know,it's created for to give
ourselves a container to fullyshow up in 100% respect, or
respect for each other.
It's created to support eachother's freedom.
We want to support the bestselves of each other and that
those two selves are free and,it is to you know, support each
(30:13):
other's choices, and we wantnaturally to, time and time
again, to return to the choiceof choosing each other.
That might be something thatsomeone else might come with as
well, and so there's a list thatincludes maybe it also creates
radical truth, right?
We want this relationship to bea place where I can fully be
true to myself and you can befully true to yourself, and then
(30:33):
we both bring our true self tothe table and we love each other
.
Because we are true toourselves, we're not dimming our
light, we're not puttingourselves in a box, we're not
putting ourselves out of a boxfor no reason.
We're really allowing ourselvesto be dynamic.
And that's truth, right, livingin truth.
And this relationship issupporting each other.
So these are some of the thingspeople might share and then
(30:55):
from there then it's aboutsupporting each other.
To do that, whether in thecontext of the actual relating,
so like when you're having aconflict and you're having a
broken down trust or you have afight, like how do you repair,
and then keeping all of theseelements in place as a guiding
light true self respect, choice,truth, clarity, co-creation I
(31:20):
have here as well on a listfinancial freedom, love, safety,
authentic play, attunement.
These are some of the valuesand these are some of the things
that embody connection,adventure, multi-orgasmic love.
And so then, when shit hits thefan, you go back to this list
and you're like okay, how can wetogether honor these pieces of
(31:42):
us?
And then how can we honor thecontainer of the relationship
and sort through this so that itredirects everything.
That kind of exploded.
Let's redirect it back in thisdirection.
That's the first thing.
The second thing is now workingit through.
We talked about talking andspeaking through genitalia.
This is a lot.
This can also be true self.
(32:03):
What is the truth of what mygenitals want today?
Is it going to be somethingthat I think that I want?
That's from yesterday, is itsomething that I think I want in
the future, or is it what Iactually really want?
That's about presence,mindfulness, speaking,
connecting and being able tosupport each other.
To come to that communicationprocess in your actual intimate
(32:27):
session.
Right, and that's like acontext that you and your
partner will be.
Either you would talk aboutlike hey, like, let's support
each other's true pleasures orauthentic pleasures today, and
let's do it intentionally bytuning in and let's both speak
to each other's desire.
(32:47):
And we can either speak to ourgenitals or we can.
Sometimes, people have this, youknow this visual that they want
, and I really enjoy the bodyspeaking, because the body is
the one that's experiencing alot of the pleasure.
Unless, if you have a visual,it's really in your head as well
, so it's really want to tuneinto your body.
Um, respect, right, respect.
(33:10):
How can I respect your pleasuretoday?
Um, freedom, how can I?
How can your pleasure feel free?
So it's not in a script, it'snot create, it's not being
followed in a narrative thatyou've.
How can your orgasm beunscripted today?
So you're not doing the samestrokes, the same positions, the
same speed, the same pressureto get there?
If you're wanting to explore theaspect of freedom and choice
(33:34):
and novelty today, how can weco-create it?
Co-creation is another value,right?
How can we co-create it today?
How can it be something that ismaybe like five seconds me,
five seconds you, or it's likelet's all focus on you and then
let's all focus on me?
How can we do this in a waythat it's collaborative and
we're both getting ourselves tothe most beautiful connection?
(33:54):
And how can we take thepressure off, right?
So that's about some safety.
Safety is taking the pressureoff.
So we're not going anywhere,we're not trying to get to any
orgasm, we're trying to justfeel intimate, we're just trying
to feel happy and we want tofeel the happiest, recharged,
like that light bulb that wetalked about earlier, recharged
with life force as much aspossible.
That's our intention for today.
(34:15):
So I don't care how we're goingto do it, maybe today's kissing
, maybe I just want a reallygood cuddle, maybe I want a
really dynamic wrestle, or Iwant to like play around like
little kittens in dirt.
Whatever that is right.
It's like really like findingthat playfulness, getting into
that mode of like what is reallydesiring to flow through me and
(34:36):
then allowing that to play.
And some people and some of theclients I coach, we go as far as
let's explore multidimensionalorgasms, let's explore
transcendental connection, andthen the connection aspect
happens through communication.
In all of these aspects thearousal level, the desire, the
(34:56):
nuances of understanding how toincrease pleasure Sometimes it's
emotional pleasure, how toincrease pleasure, sometimes
it's emotional pleasure I wantyou to connect with me and tell
me what you love about me andhow I handled the last conflict
we had and what you appreciateabout it.
Right, it's like super specific.
Tell me which part of thatconversation touched your heart
the most.
When did you open?
Did you have a hard on at anypoint of the conversation?
(35:16):
Like things like that.
You can.
You can really like draw outwhat you need so that you're
feeling so loved, seen, heard,felt, um, cherished, worshipped,
or if you want to be a bad girlor you want to be this, and
that you just ask for that too,and you ask your partner what.
What is going to be the mostfor for for a lot of our clients
(35:37):
is a very nourishing love thatthey really desire, and they
desire nourishing love but andthey want play in a very safe
environment.
So, even if it goes intense,there's always like a moment
where you drop in and you'relike are you still enjoying this
?
Okay, like, what part did youenjoy?
Okay, let's get back in there.
So there's that like dynamicismof that.
(35:58):
There's a lot of care inhandling, um, and ushering and
co-creating your scenario, andyour session Does that give you
a little bit of touch oneverybody.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Yes, for sure, and this seems like a good time to
say how they can reach you ifthey want to work with you,
since you've shared a lot ofdifferent things.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
All of the skills that I shared about we in the
central liberation program.
You can search for me at httpsdot dot.
Slash, slash.
Tantra singapore t-a-n-t-r-a.
Tantra singaporecom and you cancheck that out.
I also have another.
I have a youtube channel aswell honey ching, and in tantra
(36:40):
singapore, just click oncoaching.
I coach leaders to be liberatedleaders.
So that's a leadership coachingaspect, but we include
centrality and embodiment andthen intimacy coaching.
We go into all themulti-orgasmic practices that
create more confidence and yourown signal.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Awesome.
And then are there any or alast takeaway takeaway, or a
couple of takeaways that youwant to just, you know,
re-remind people.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
I just want to remind you that the feeling and the
inspiration to act is a sacredcalling.
So when you do feel inspired totake action, whether that's on
your desire or that's in a waythat just wants you to make your
life a little bit more exciting, more beautiful, more real,
more true, take that.
(37:27):
If that comes in the form of adecision, if it comes in the
form of an action, if it comesin the form of reaching out to
someone who you know can supportyou, or a community that is
supportive, do it.
Get yourself into that zone, besurrounded by those ideas and
then watch your beautifulinfinite being unfold.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Awesome, great way to end it.
All right, well.
Thank you so much for sharingall your knowledge and how to
reach you.
So appreciate it very much.
I appreciate it.
Thank you for allowing us touse your story as an example.
Thank you, and I was to say ifyou love this episode, be sure
to tell your friends about itand rate it as well.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
All right, well, thanks rate it, rate it, tell us
about how much part resonatedall right.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Thanks again.
Thanks everyone, bye.
Frank talk, frank talk, sex anddating educate.
Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth
.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
podcast Frank talk about sex and dating.
Hello, tamara here, welcome tothe show.
Today's guest is Hani Cheng.
She's an author, intimacy andtransformation coach and global
speaker, and we'll be talkingabout helping people have deeper
, more connected and radicallyhonest relationships.
Thanks for joining me, hani.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Thank you, so excited to be here, as always.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yes, I think there are.
Listeners will get a lot fromthis, so let's dive right into
it, and I know we can start withthe author part of your title
and just share what you talkabout.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I've written an Amazon bestseller called you
Only Live Once.
Life and Business InnovationStyle, which is basically.
It was born out of myconnection to my inner voice,
where my inner voice actuallyspoke through me and told me
what exactly I needed to do tostop a 15-year disease that
nobody else could figure out,and so I had a methodology that
(01:03):
kind of brought me to that stageduring the 15 years of research
, and that's all in that book.
You Only Live Once.
And I also have written manyother e-books as well, such as
for tantalizing questions thatyou can ask to deepen
relationships and your sexuality, relationship with your
sexuality and ErectileDysfunction.
To to erectile freedom isanother one.
(01:25):
We've got central liberationplaybook, which is liberating
your connection with your innersenses and the inner senses
being like your pleasure itself,so your genitalia and also the
aliveness and desire that liveswithin you, and that desire can
be a desire that is erotic.
It could also be be a desirethat's about your purpose.
(01:46):
It's a very intimate connectionto who you truly are and how
you want to be in the world.
Um and many more, so many morelike um and we.
My entire um instagram is justfull of like poetry and we're
compiling that into a booklet,as well as um activations,
energy activations, which isanother area that I work on.
(02:06):
A lot of it is talking to oursubconscious and removing any
type of limitation from ourthinking in many, many layers.
So that's another collection aswell, yeah so lots of stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
But I mean and the other title about transformation
coach, I'm sure a lot of itcomes from that, just
understanding that, yeah, andI've had past guests who say you
can choose.
You know a lot of people thinkyou ended up how you are and
that's how you are, but you knowa lot of people in the
transformation world know thatyou can choose differently.
It's a little harder but youcan.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So all the time all the time, I mean some of the
places where we get the mostpain is actually a window for
love, and that takes rewritingeverything we know about it.
Most recently, you know, thefeeling of jealousy and sexual
freedom are in complete conflict, and so I was taking people
through that wholetransformation of how to even
(03:13):
rewrite their relationship withallowing their most loved ones
to feel and to pursue sexualfreedom, and so that was that
shows you that you cancompletely change a narrative
about a topic.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah, yeah, definitely yeah, because I've
had a few episodes about thelifestyle and swinging and that
kind of stuff.
So I'm guessing that's what youyeah, you're referring to.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Not so much about that because, like, some people
are just simply doing thatduring like long distances or
like different circumstances, sonot necessarily like in a
community context, but but it'sdefinitely about rewriting what
we understand about love, and sothat's very, very ingrained by
mainstream media and so yeah, sodoing a lot of transformational
(04:02):
work really allows us to haveour own narrative, our own
blueprint, our own truth aroundwhat love is truthfully for us
as opposed to what we think itis, and that's part of the
reason why radical honesty is soimportant.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, and I guess the biggest trick on that is
knowing yourself Like you can.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And then, like you said, subconscious stuff too.
So I want to say more aboutthat.
Just how, that, how?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
you get people to see what they really want, or
Totally Not only just see whatthey really want, but see like
in the process of getting towhat you really want, so many
things could come in conflictwith that.
And then recognizing thosesubconscious voices as
deterrence rather than truth isso important, for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yeah, especially like your family, you know a lot of
people want to do what they're,yeah, other people tell them to
do or what they should do, andthey just kind of go along to
not be in conflict.
So, yeah, I can see where it'dbe hard to choose your own path
and a lot of people lose friendsand stuff potentially.
But if it's very true to youand, like you said, radically
(05:12):
honest and what is the firststep to even, or how does that
process like, start and go?
Speaker 1 (05:20):
the first step is really understanding that we
actually have a part of usthat's connected to this bigger
picture, that has a bird eyeview of, like, everything that
is happening.
In my philosophy I call it ourinfinite being, which is
basically a part of us thatexists beyond our skin.
Right, imagine our heartsexpanding into the ethers of the
(05:43):
universe.
And so the first step is reallyconnecting to that.
So we're not in our egos only,or only in our brains, or only
in our hearts, only in ourgenitalia, or only in our bodies
.
We're beyond as well.
We're getting to see thingsfrom a much larger perspective,
of a place of like, infinitelove, or maybe it's a place of
like.
You know, I I want to seethings from a limitless
(06:05):
perspective.
And then, what do I actuallywant in this?
How do I want to live my life?
Don't want to live it fullywith um conflict, where I get
triggered all the time.
Don't want to live it infreedom of you know, emotions,
that I'm able to work throughemotions and come out the other
end and always find my way backto a centered, grounded content,
(06:25):
peaceful excitement and thingslike that.
And how do I want to conduct myday-to-day in the face of
challenges, and thenunderstanding that and then
slowly, slowly, crafting it backto what is my inner voice
telling me that I actually want,and is this voice contaminated
(06:49):
with or does it have influenceof others, or is it a true voice
?
And then really feeling intowhat's going to make you feel
the lightest and the mostexpanded, if you're looking to
experience your potentialexpanded.
If you're looking to experienceyour potential, and if you and
(07:10):
then the second step is trustingthat potential, trusting your
desire, trusting that yourdesire is going to lead, to lead
you to, if it's an honest umsacred, like deep, like internal
desire that is really speakingto you through this, like humble
, um calm voice, and it's notlike that oh, I need to get that
(07:31):
, I need it.
It's not like that Like this.
The, the flavor of that voice islike you know, I do have this,
like I really, really would lovethis in my life, like it's sort
of like that kind of an energythat it comes out of and when
you do hear that, then to trustthat you know you do deserve
something like that, even ifit's taboo, even if it's
completely unconventional, eventhough it's something that
(07:53):
you've never even thought thatcould be something you'd want.
It's to actually entertain thatand then figure out what you
need to do in order toreorientate yourself to be the
steward of this desire.
It's almost like birthing achild through a birth canal.
(08:20):
Maybe you're looking at a placewhere your orgasm is constantly
growing, or something where youfeel liberated and, in choice
and clarity, you want toco-create.
Then it's about not settlingand about how to cultivate that
and then putting that intoaction.
But you got to first believethat it's true and that you can
(08:41):
actually have these things atthe levels that you're looking
at.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, I was going to share an example but then you
talked about relationships, sowe'll see if it fits.
But I always wanted to trystand-up comedy and it scared me
to death and I never thought Iwould do it in a million and
million years.
And I ended up.
After a breakup, I took classand started doing it for three
years but it was something likeI always deep down knew I wanted
(09:06):
to try, but I was like soscared but I'm very glad I did
it.
And then it turned into thispodcast, because I did that for
three years and then talk aboutthe same stuff now in the
podcast.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I am telling jokes for us.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Yeah, that's what you would think, but it's funny
Like I don't usually get intothe funny stuff in this, but
it's just the is that it isalways fresh.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's like going for something exciting, it's fun,
it's light, it's like creative,and so when you know that
there's something in you that isso deep that wants to come
through and you entertain it,that in itself is life-giving.
We're looking at things thatare giving us life right.
If we're a renewable source ofenergy, like, how are we going
to charge our batteries?
We charge our batteries withexperiences that are aligned to
(10:08):
us.
So if it's aligned to us, wecan take that 100% charge and
put it in and we can probablyget like 90% charge.
But if it's not aligned, you caneat like I don't know, 5,000
McDonald's hamburgers no offenseto those who love it and it
might not fulfill the hungerthat you're wanting to fill.
So feed ourselves with thingsthat light us up, that are from
(10:29):
deep within.
That's the most pleasurable andexploratory, rewarding
experiences.
And it's harder to find that asyou grow older, as we age,
because we try so many newthings already in our lives.
And then you're like I'vealready done this or done that
(10:52):
and maybe you know your wholelife you've already been
exploring.
And then it's about findinglayers and nuances and depth.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Yeah, that makes sense and I know I'm not sure if
this flows right here, but youtalk about the role of energy
consent and body language inmagnetic connection.
I can see where, if you wantthat, you kind of make it happen
signal.
So what I mean by that is likea lighthouse, right.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
The way I like to operate is I like to make my
energy connected.
So we talked about infinitebeing in the beginning of this
podcast.
Infinite being is the part ofyou that sees everything and
that is infinite.
So I like to have my infinitebeing in me and my actions be
congruent, and what that meansis that the inner voices that I
(11:48):
hear, I'm taking action on themand then making decisions based
on my value systems, which isbasically based on how I want my
life to look like right, and soin our teachings, we really
look through.
Let's say, freedom is a freedom, and true self and choice might
be three, three words that youidentify in.
(12:08):
I think it's like chapter one,where we look at your yummy
commitments, your uniquemagnetic momentum.
So then, when I feed myselfthat experience of freedom and
that experience of choice andthat experience of fun, I think
actually for me it's's freedom,fun and inspired connections.
These are my three big ones,and then there's a lot of
ancillary ones, and then thatcreates an energy of me.
(12:31):
So for you, what might that be?
For you as listeners, what isthe thing that, when you get it
like, you just feel that life isworthy of living, like this is
what life is about.
Like everything is going great,right, and then that's energy.
Life is worthy of living Like.
This is what life is about.
Like everything is going great,right, and then that's energy.
And when you're naturallycharging yourself up with these
things that make you feel happy,then, when things are taking
(12:53):
you down, you got to see that isit as a violation of one of
your sources of life, right?
So these are like life forceunits.
It's like you're putting inlife force, energy into you and
then from there you become youas a lighthouse.
(13:17):
You're filled with your ownversion of these elements and
these words that are expressingthemselves through you, and
that's why you become magnetic.
It's unique.
Your unique magnetic momentumis your unique, right?
Because these words and who youare is unique.
What charges you up is unique.
And then it's magnetizingbecause when we see someone
(13:38):
truly standing in who they areand not afraid to authentically
be them, and they're justbeautiful, no matter what shape,
it's not a visual beauty, it isan energetic beauty.
It is a beauty that is likeshining through the inside.
It's like as if it's likeradiating out from, like the way
that I see it for women, it'slike our wombs, our genitalia,
(13:58):
it's actually radiating throughour faces.
It's like that feeling ofbeyond pregnant to glow type of
glow, and then for men as well,it's like that, that sense of
like, um, relaxation and easycharm and um and easy ease of
connection and just not beingattached to the world.
You know, you're feeling justnaturally confident and that's
(14:21):
what's.
That's what that radiance andthat magnetism is really about.
And when we're talking aboutenergy work, we're talking about
any thought process or any ideathat's coming in to even
challenge your radiance, thatdims you down or that makes you
feel even slightly more insecure, then needs to be examined,
(14:43):
because you and your radianceand you and your confidence and
you and your magnetism is notsomeone who loops in your head
and starts just feeling badabout something that happened
and then each time it loops inyour head, feeling worse about
it.
That type of looping behaviornow a lot of times goes past our
(15:08):
consciousness, so we don't evenrealize we're doing it because
there's some of the thoughtshave been there for a long time.
But when we realize it and wenotice that and it's just like,
oh my gosh, like I got hookedinto that programming again and
and it's really about now housecleaning and awareness in your
energetic field to stay true.
(15:29):
And when you're so potent inwho you are and so clear in the
signal that you're spreading outwhich is the first part of this
topic that I was sharing thenyou're Things appear in your
life that is an exact match, ora very close match to win-win.
(15:49):
So win-win-win, win-win-winsituations start happening.
You're just like wow, like howdid this puzzle piece
immediately slide into my lifeas an opportunity, as something
that you're wanting?
I hope that's not too meta.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
No, I had that exact example.
It's like several times where Ijust happened to meet the right
person at the right time and itwas like there's no reason it
should have happened, Like we'reonly two people in the room and
that was like the one person inthe entire city I needed to
talk to.
So yeah, I definitely see thatkind of stuff happen.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
And then you're leveraging less pushing, which
is, you can analyze and planyour way through that.
You could have like gonethrough every phone book and
every internet search to lookfor that person and try to
organize a call in this, or youcould leverage off of this
synchronicity, flow or ease, orjust trust that you, being you,
(16:43):
is going to land you in the spot.
You is going to land you in thespot by your.
Our work is to be us in themost healed version, as some
might put it, or the most clearsignal, and that's the most
important part in that wholeenergy clearing phase yeah, and
I know it's easier said thandone to heal it like how do you
like, how do you heal thesubconscious stuff?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
that's there.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, every single call is about taking those
subconscious thoughts apart.
Maybe you could give me anexample of something that you
hear my often with from yourclients, or or just didn't find
the grapevines.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, well, I actually.
Yeah, I'll say I was.
I did this on the previousepisode, but we didn't really
get to it.
So I, for some reason, wheneverI dress up, I get bitchier in a
relationship, like I just likesomething.
I'm sure it's like you knowinsecurities or something.
(17:44):
But when I dress up and look mybest and I'm going on a date,
that's when I get like mean tomy partner, like I don't know if
that what?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Are you so?
So the way that I would look atthat is are you getting meaner
to your partner?
So like, is your infinite beinggetting meaner to your partner?
We're going straight to thedeep end.
I could do this on theintellectual level and and we
could do this like NLP stuff andyou do this coaching style, but
I'm going to go straight tolet's see what energy this is
coming from.
Okay.
So, listeners, this is like theenergy work we're going.
(18:17):
There's layers, there's likeyou can analyze it.
You can go to psychologicallayer, you can go to
intellectual layer, but we'rejust going to go straight to
read the energy.
So this, um, the meaner part Iwould like to see is it your
infinite being that is beingmean to your partner?
And so you just want toperceive that as um, from your
intuition, which is like alighter, heavy feeling.
Okay, and then is it yourinfinite body that is being mean
(18:41):
to your partner, or is itsomething else that's
interfering, that's being meanto your partner?
So you're kind of just askingyourself these three questions
and you're sensing what categoryhas the most information or
that feels lighter.
What did you get?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yeah, that's the part I get stuck on.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yeah, maybe we don't use this, but I will try to go
there, okay.
Well, I can help you as well.
So it's very common to getstuck to hear your inner voice,
like what we talked aboutearlier in this call, like
hearing our inner voice andletting our inner voice share
with us, like what's actuallyhappening, because our inner
voice sometimes, like a radiostation, could have so many
wi-fi and frequency and signalsgoing through it.
So it's really important toclear that first, because your
(19:27):
inner voice actually lives, likealmost under the river, in a
very peaceful place, and we needto, like get through all the
stuff to actually get into themiddle and the core of it.
So, if you're willing, I coulddo a quick breath work practice
to clear out the energy and thenjust see what it is, and then,
for listeners, you could do thisfor yourself as well.
If you want to be clearing inyour field today, if you're up
(19:48):
for it yeah, sure, okay.
So take a deep breath in You'rejust wanting to breathe in
through your perineum all theway up your back of your spine.
This is a common breath workthat I teach, that I love and
(20:11):
then, as you exhale, see thatbreath come down your front of
your face and then groundeverything that's in your field
down into the center of theearth, exhaling with a sigh Deep
breath in again, bringing inall the energy from the bottom
of your body up through yourspine.
And in this exhale I want youto exhale through your heart,
(20:34):
your pelvis and your throat andthen radiate that into the room.
Take a deep breath into yourheart and your pelvis and your
head again and expand all theway out to the ends of this
(20:57):
earth In your exhale.
Good, and now take a deepbreath in again and extend all
the way into the ends of theuniverse and beyond.
I want you to connect with thepart of you that is infinite, so
(21:18):
breathing in, imagine just aspace that is you, because as
you're exhaling, you're reachingout towards the part of you
that is able to travel that far,and then just find a spot that
it keeps going and going andgoing and going all the way, all
the way, and further on,further on, until there's no end
(21:40):
, and just feel yourself, expandin those direction and connect
with your infinite being, orthat sense of that endlessness
that keeps expanding, beautiful,and then, from this place,
we're going to just check inwith those three answers and
(22:01):
those three questions againbeing mean.
Is this a message from?
Is your infinite being feelingmean, breathe in and notice the
weight of this in your body?
Is it medium weight?
You can rank it from like oneto five, five being the heaviest
(22:23):
and one being the lightest.
You can just take note and thenyou inhale, let that go, and
then you can ask is this beingmean scenario?
How much of this is yourinfinite body feeling mean,
(22:46):
breathing in, notice thatexperience and notice that
heavier lightness from one tofive, okay.
And then is there somethingelse that's interfering, that's
being made, and breathing in andexhale and experience that.
If you just want to share withme what feels the most expansive
(23:08):
and lightest and experiencethat, you just want to share
with me what feels the mostexpansive and lightest, more
closer to a one.
The lightest are the first andthe last, the first and the last
one, right, yeah, and if youwere to compare the first one
and the last one, is there onethat's slightly lighter?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Probably the last one .
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yeah, so we're like infinite beings feeling mean.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
No, the second one is definitely the body is the
meanest and then the infinitebeing is just like.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
But the last one is the lightest right, Just like.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
So the last one I lightest right, just like it's.
So the last one.
I was just saying it'sdefinitely not external.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
But it is, but it is, it is.
So this is the trick.
The last one is the lightest.
So the last one is actuallyinfluencing the body, which is
then creating the thoughts, andso it's actually an external,
not that it's influenced byexternal, but the construct is
(24:17):
one that is not your truth andwho you really are.
So, so, when you feel into yourlove and your infinity and you
feel like how you really feel inthis beautiful dressed up
position she's just struttingalong, you know, in her, like
(24:38):
beauty, and just walking in thething and you're enjoying it
there is a little bit of thatdominance feeling, but there's
also there's pride and there'salso that feeling of you know
like I'm gorgeous and I know it,like that sort of experience,
right, and then there's thatedge that's coming, that.
(25:01):
There's that edge of thatmeanness, but it's not
necessarily like an authenticmeanness, because it's actually
something that's influenced whenwe tuned into infant being,
infant body or something else.
The something else is a lotlighter, which means that
there's something else thatlikes to hijack the space and
put that little edge in there.
(25:21):
Yeah, and it's not yours,because your truth is that you
just want to radiate your beautyand you just want to radiate
your confidence yeah, I mean,yeah, when you mentioned
dominance, like that was kind ofit too.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I started taking charge, more like when I'm, yeah
, in that state and I'm tryingto be in my more in my feminine
of not, you know, letting theman take charge or being I don't
know yeah it's so much fun.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Sorry, we went there.
I hope you, I hope that was allright and fun for you.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, yeah, thank you yeah, so, but back to your
stuff.
Or like obviously this is partof your stuff, you know this is
what you do as well, but um,yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
So listeners, like it's really just, um, like if
you were to look at your ownthing.
It's really about looking at.
You know, where are thesevoices coming from?
When you're not yourself, youfeel a little bit off right.
And so in this particularexample, what you can see, um,
if I may kind of just share thelearnings from it, is that when
(26:26):
we're feeling a little meaner,or we're feeling a little bit
kind of more or less than who wefeel we are, then we can always
ask is this our truth?
Truth, right?
So infinite being and infinitebody are both our bodies and our
being.
So these are our truths.
And then there's also externalfactors that could be
(26:47):
interfering with that.
It could be interfering in thedial of it zero to 100.
It could over-exaggeratecertain things, it could trigger
us, whatnot.
So the important thing or thetrick here is to decipher how
can we be the most radiant andtrue version of ourselves?
(27:07):
Maybe that dominance in thisparticular case is the true, the
trueness, and there's alsofemininity.
Then the discovery is what isthat feminine dominance that is
both electrifying and also insurrender and at the same time
radiating confidence?
So that would be the funmixture that I would explore.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
I don't know about yeah, no I can see that where,
yeah, like kind of use it adifferent way or or see it a
different way maybe.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Yeah, I like the, the feminine version of dominance,
like I said totally like thebeauty of it, right, and you
know our, our vaginas arebeautiful and they are sometimes
very demand not demanding, butthey know what they want and so
(28:00):
in that sense, you are creatingand co-creating this experience
in your femininity, and so Ithink that really lends really
well into some of the work thatI do.
That is all about listening toour feminine through our
genitals but and also throughour hearts.
(28:21):
Right, our authenticity livesin our heart.
We have our authentic genitaliathat also speaks through us,
and if we can really listen towhat she wants instead of what
we want, there's a difference incommunication.
So I'm kind of jumping or justshifting into this gear.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Yeah, and how does that work with in a relationship
?
Is it, do you talk about it oryou just are your best selves
with each other, or how do youlike tackle relationship stuff
or coaching?
Speaker 1 (28:57):
tell me more so like talking to the genitalia inside
of a relationship, or more likerelationship connection and
deepening the connection?
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah, like.
Yeah, the last part likedeepening a relationship while
both of you kind of utilizingyour, your own like life force
or genitalia or like you know,kind of both being your best
versions and how you worktogether, like how you get kind
of both being your best versionsand how you work together, like
how you get so I love doing so.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
What I was sharing with you guys earlier was to
have a vision of where and whatthis relationship is for right.
So, for example, I'll give youa list that my most recent
client was sharing, which I waskind of referring to because it
was just kind of pulled up on myscreen when I was writing notes
, so which is, basically, wecome up with a relationship
vision of what this relationshipis created for right.
It's created to embody both ofour true selves.
(29:53):
Someone might tell me.
They might say that, you know,it's created for to give
ourselves a container to fullyshow up in 100% respect, or
respect for each other.
It's created to support eachother's freedom.
We want to support the bestselves of each other and that
those two selves are free and,it is to you know, support each
(30:13):
other's choices, and we wantnaturally to, time and time
again, to return to the choiceof choosing each other.
That might be something thatsomeone else might come with as
well, and so there's a list thatincludes maybe it also creates
radical truth, right?
We want this relationship to bea place where I can fully be
true to myself and you can befully true to yourself, and then
(30:33):
we both bring our true self tothe table and we love each other
.
Because we are true toourselves, we're not dimming our
light, we're not puttingourselves in a box, we're not
putting ourselves out of a boxfor no reason.
We're really allowing ourselvesto be dynamic.
And that's truth, right, livingin truth.
And this relationship issupporting each other.
So these are some of the thingspeople might share and then
(30:55):
from there then it's aboutsupporting each other.
To do that, whether in thecontext of the actual relating,
so like when you're having aconflict and you're having a
broken down trust or you have afight, like how do you repair,
and then keeping all of theseelements in place as a guiding
light true self respect, choice,truth, clarity, co-creation I
(31:20):
have here as well on a listfinancial freedom, love, safety,
authentic play, attunement.
These are some of the valuesand these are some of the things
that embody connection,adventure, multi-orgasmic love.
And so then, when shit hits thefan, you go back to this list
and you're like okay, how can wetogether honor these pieces of
(31:42):
us?
And then how can we honor thecontainer of the relationship
and sort through this so that itredirects everything.
That kind of exploded.
Let's redirect it back in thisdirection.
That's the first thing.
The second thing is now workingit through.
We talked about talking andspeaking through genitalia.
This is a lot.
This can also be true self.
(32:03):
What is the truth of what mygenitals want today?
Is it going to be somethingthat I think that I want?
That's from yesterday, is itsomething that I think I want in
the future, or is it what Iactually really want?
That's about presence,mindfulness, speaking,
connecting and being able tosupport each other.
To come to that communicationprocess in your actual intimate
(32:27):
session.
Right, and that's like acontext that you and your
partner will be.
Either you would talk aboutlike hey, like, let's support
each other's true pleasures orauthentic pleasures today, and
let's do it intentionally bytuning in and let's both speak
to each other's desire.
(32:47):
And we can either speak to ourgenitals or we can.
Sometimes, people have this, youknow this visual that they want
, and I really enjoy the bodyspeaking, because the body is
the one that's experiencing alot of the pleasure.
Unless, if you have a visual,it's really in your head as well
, so it's really want to tuneinto your body.
Um, respect, right, respect.
(33:10):
How can I respect your pleasuretoday?
Um, freedom, how can I?
How can your pleasure feel free?
So it's not in a script, it'snot create, it's not being
followed in a narrative thatyou've.
How can your orgasm beunscripted today?
So you're not doing the samestrokes, the same positions, the
same speed, the same pressureto get there?
If you're wanting to explore theaspect of freedom and choice
(33:34):
and novelty today, how can weco-create it?
Co-creation is another value,right?
How can we co-create it today?
How can it be something that ismaybe like five seconds me,
five seconds you, or it's likelet's all focus on you and then
let's all focus on me?
How can we do this in a waythat it's collaborative and
we're both getting ourselves tothe most beautiful connection?
(33:54):
And how can we take thepressure off, right?
So that's about some safety.
Safety is taking the pressureoff.
So we're not going anywhere,we're not trying to get to any
orgasm, we're trying to justfeel intimate, we're just trying
to feel happy and we want tofeel the happiest, recharged,
like that light bulb that wetalked about earlier, recharged
with life force as much aspossible.
That's our intention for today.
(34:15):
So I don't care how we're goingto do it, maybe today's kissing
, maybe I just want a reallygood cuddle, maybe I want a
really dynamic wrestle, or Iwant to like play around like
little kittens in dirt.
Whatever that is right.
It's like really like findingthat playfulness, getting into
that mode of like what is reallydesiring to flow through me and
(34:36):
then allowing that to play.
And some people and some of theclients I coach, we go as far as
let's explore multidimensionalorgasms, let's explore
transcendental connection, andthen the connection aspect
happens through communication.
In all of these aspects thearousal level, the desire, the
(34:56):
nuances of understanding how toincrease pleasure Sometimes it's
emotional pleasure, how toincrease pleasure, sometimes
it's emotional pleasure I wantyou to connect with me and tell
me what you love about me andhow I handled the last conflict
we had and what you appreciateabout it.
Right, it's like super specific.
Tell me which part of thatconversation touched your heart
the most.
When did you open?
Did you have a hard on at anypoint of the conversation?
(35:16):
Like things like that.
You can.
You can really like draw outwhat you need so that you're
feeling so loved, seen, heard,felt, um, cherished, worshipped,
or if you want to be a bad girlor you want to be this, and
that you just ask for that too,and you ask your partner what.
What is going to be the mostfor for for a lot of our clients
(35:37):
is a very nourishing love thatthey really desire, and they
desire nourishing love but andthey want play in a very safe
environment.
So, even if it goes intense,there's always like a moment
where you drop in and you'relike are you still enjoying this
?
Okay, like, what part did youenjoy?
Okay, let's get back in there.
So there's that like dynamicismof that.
(35:58):
There's a lot of care inhandling, um, and ushering and
co-creating your scenario, andyour session Does that give you
a little bit of touch oneverybody.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Yes, for sure, and this seems like a good time to
say how they can reach you ifthey want to work with you,
since you've shared a lot ofdifferent things.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
All of the skills that I shared about we in the
central liberation program.
You can search for me at httpsdot dot.
Slash, slash.
Tantra singapore t-a-n-t-r-a.
Tantra singaporecom and you cancheck that out.
I also have another.
I have a youtube channel aswell honey ching, and in tantra
(36:40):
singapore, just click oncoaching.
I coach leaders to be liberatedleaders.
So that's a leadership coachingaspect, but we include
centrality and embodiment andthen intimacy coaching.
We go into all themulti-orgasmic practices that
create more confidence and yourown signal.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Awesome.
And then are there any or alast takeaway takeaway, or a
couple of takeaways that youwant to just, you know,
re-remind people.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
I just want to remind you that the feeling and the
inspiration to act is a sacredcalling.
So when you do feel inspired totake action, whether that's on
your desire or that's in a waythat just wants you to make your
life a little bit more exciting, more beautiful, more real,
more true, take that.
(37:27):
If that comes in the form of adecision, if it comes in the
form of an action, if it comesin the form of reaching out to
someone who you know can supportyou, or a community that is
supportive, do it.
Get yourself into that zone, besurrounded by those ideas and
then watch your beautifulinfinite being unfold.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Awesome, great way to end it.
All right, well.
Thank you so much for sharingall your knowledge and how to
reach you.
So appreciate it very much.
I appreciate it.
Thank you for allowing us touse your story as an example.
Thank you, and I was to say ifyou love this episode, be sure
to tell your friends about itand rate it as well.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
All right, well, thanks rate it, rate it, tell us
about how much part resonatedall right.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Thanks again.
Thanks everyone, bye.
Frank talk, frank talk, sex anddating educate.
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