October 12, 2024 • 16 mins
Unlock the secrets of your subconscious mind with hypnotist Nicholas Spohn, founder of Ministry of the Mind. Discover how unrecognized values inherited from our past can create an intriguing tug-of-war within us, especially when it comes to relationships. Navigate the complex dance between desiring intimacy and fearing the loss of freedom as we uncover how these subconscious values shape your actions and decisions. Nicholas sheds light on resolving these internal conflicts, addressing the often-overlooked impact they have on personal growth.
Join us as we explore practical strategies to elevate your relationships by pinpointing core values, rules, and beliefs. Through insightful questioning, we reveal the invisible forces driving your behaviors and how these elements can be ethically harnessed for positive influence across personal and professional interactions. Plus, Nicholas introduces "Living Your Highest Values," a course designed to align your subconscious beliefs with your conscious desires, fostering fulfillment in all life aspects. Don't miss this enlightening episode that offers actionable tools for achieving alignment and empowerment.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth
podcast.
Frank talk about sex and dating.
Hello everyone, tamara here,welcome to the show.
Today's guest is back onceagain.
His name is Nicholas Spohn.
He's a hypnotist and thefounder of Ministry of the Mind,
and we'll be talking about yourvalues and how they affect you
subconsciously.
Thanks for joining me, nicholas.
(00:21):
Yeah, I'm glad to be back.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, I was super excited.
I'm on your email list and youmentioned the idea of values and
how it can affect you,especially in relationships.
You think one way, but reallysubconsciously you don't.
So let's dive right in.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Okay, great.
So yeah, our values arebasically what our subconscious
mind moves us towards or awayfrom.
So, and and when I saysubconscious mind, I mean your
whole nervous system and yourwhole body.
So if you think about when youfeel like you're compelled to do
something or you're compelledto leave a situation, and it's
just like this drive that comesfrom the pit of your gut, and
(01:02):
just this feeling that'sgenerated by your subconscious
mind to move you towards or awayfrom your values, and the
problem is, nobody ever teachesus how to set our values.
So a lot of us have values thatare other people's values, and
the main, the main problem isthat we have multiple values
that often conflict with eachother, and so this is why, you
(01:25):
know, the best metaphor is likeit's we have one foot on the gas
and one foot on the brake,because most of us, you know, we
all want to be successful, buta lot of us don't want to have
any rejection or failure in ourlives, and so you know, what are
the odds of you having anysuccess if you're not willing to
fail and learn and face somerejection?
So those two things kind ofcounteract each other, and
(01:46):
oftentimes people spin theirwheels and they and they stay
stuck because they haveconflicting values.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I can think of many examples in my
own life.
So, yes, definitely say moreand like, especially
relationship specific.
Oh, I mean, yeah, I say I wanta relationship, but then I'm
afraid of losing my freedom, andso I keep saying it in date and
then I'm like don't really, youknow, I find something wrong or
prefer non-available people.
So yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So we and listen, you're not alone.
We all have these things whereyou know, I was doing a module
two of our values course lastnight with the group and and
someone was like, oh you know, Ilike I want a job, but then
every time I go startinterviewing for a job, I really
don't, because I want thefreedom.
And so what's important tounderstand is that underneath
(02:34):
those values, we have what arecalled rules.
So we have a rule for how weknow if we've achieved or met
that value.
And so you know, you and I canboth value the same thing let's
say we both value intimateconnection but we're going to
have a rule that's differentabout how we know if we're, if
(02:54):
we're having that, or how we youknow if we will each value
success.
My definition of success, myrule might be I have X dollars
in the bank account, and yourrule might be that you have a
certain type of relationship.
And so the rules are how weknow if we're meeting our values
.
And again, most people have noidea what their rules are
(03:16):
underneath it.
And then underneath the rulesis our beliefs, and so we have
beliefs about ourselves, beliefsabout other people, beliefs
about God and the economy and,you know, with the world, and so
the beliefs are our strategyfor meeting our rules.
So many people, you know, we allin a relationship, we want to
(03:38):
feel loved.
That's a value, and we all havedifferent rules about how we
know if we feel loved, right.
So someone has to.
They have to tell me they loveme, they have to take me on
trips or dates, they have totouch me in a certain way.
And then we have beliefs aboutwell, for me, to get someone to
touch me a certain way, I haveto look like this, or I have to
say this, or I have to flirt ina certain way.
And we have no idea that theperson across from us has
(04:03):
different rules about how theyfeel loved.
So, you know, if we both valuelove, I might have a rule that
says, well, I can feel lovedwhen I'm touched in a certain
way, and you might have a rulethat says you only feel loved
when somebody tells you thatthey love you and or they take
you on a trip, or they give yougifts, right.
These are kind of the lovelanguages.
We can think about it that wayas well and so most people have
(04:27):
no idea that the person acrossfrom them has different rules
about how they experience andfeel love, and so we all we're
usually giving love in the waythat we want to receive it, and
then underneath that, we alsohave beliefs.
So a belief is the beststrategy that we need to use to
(04:47):
get that value met.
So that might mean I feel likeI need to.
My belief is I need to look acertain way, I need to act a
certain way, I need to saysomething or I need to be giving
to people or a people pleaserin order to get love, and so,
because there's these threedifferent levels, most people
have no idea what they are, andthen you can have conflicts
(05:09):
where, at any of those levels,my beliefs might conflict with
my values, the rules that I havemight conflict with another
value I have, and so a lot ofwhat I do is just helping people
get clear Because, like yousaid, often in relationships we
want that intimacy andconnection and we also want
freedom, and so that createssome kind of cognitive
(05:33):
dissonance in us sometimes,doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, I mean all those areas like you're saying,
and I can see why so manyrelationships are so hard,
because everyone has all thisstuff going on and they don't
know themselves and they don'tknow the other person.
They think they know themselvesand the other person thinks
they know.
So this is just a total cluster, as we like to say.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah Well, this is a good framework.
So you can start by looking atyou know what are the things I
value in my life, and it's notjust what they say they value or
what you say you value, it'sthe things that you do naturally
and automatically, like Ireally value learning and growth
and and my belief is that if Iread books, I'll be, I'll learn
and grow.
So because that's such a highvalue for me, I don't have to
(06:14):
schedule time in my day to goread books.
Like it's.
It's a natural impulse that Iwould feel uneasy if I didn't
read a book, and so when wevalue something, that's kind of
how it shows up is like we havethis, we're compelled to do it
Does that make sense.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Oh yeah, I mean, that's my thing too.
Love of learning is very highfor me and I read and learn
constantly, and that I cannotnot do that.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
And so for someone who has, you know, let's say, a
fear of abandonment in arelationship, they're going to
have different, they're going tobe compelled to act differently
.
They might think, oh, I have tobe a people pleaser, so
somebody doesn't leave me, andthey're going to have this
compelled urge to do everythingthey think their partner wants,
because that's their beliefabout how they get love, which
(07:00):
is the thing that they value.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, I mean it goes to the anxious attachment style
avoidance, like, yeah, ifthey're convinced someone's
going to leave them, they'regoing to do yeah, yeah.
This whole thing all tiestogether.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's all just like I said.
It's all those layers.
So there's.
You know, I have differentvalues and you have different
values, and we each have rulesfor how we know we're meeting
those values and we each havebeliefs for the best strategy.
And so when you just thinkabout that simple framework, you
can look at the person acrossfrom you, you can see how they
act, you can see how theiremotions come up, and then you
(07:36):
know I talk a lot about patterns, recognizing patterns, and so
you can start to see like, oh,this person has a rule that they
don't feel loved if I show up10 minutes late for dinner.
Or you know, I tell a story.
I dated this girl and we werelike we had gone on like three
dates, so it wasn't anythingserious and she felt she would
(07:56):
get angry and kind of feeloffended and hurt if I didn't
call her or text her every night.
And so she has this rule in hermind oh, if the person I'm
talking to doesn't call me everynight, then he's not a good
communicator and this isn't agood relationship.
But I didn't have that rule andI didn't know her rule.
It took me a few times of hergetting upset to be like wait,
(08:17):
why is she getting upset here?
Oh, she has a subconscious rulethat makes her feel, in her
body, uneasy or forgotten,unless she gets a call every
night.
So when you know this, you cansee your partner's patterns and
you figure out exactly what theywant, how to make them feel
loved, how to make them feelappreciated, and then your
relationship gets so much better.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
I was just thinking that it'dbe good to have this chat and
then I'm sure you're going toexplain, like, how people can
understand and even, like,change them or affect them in
some way.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, so we can go into that right now and it's
it's actually stupidly simple.
It's really simple.
So there's just a few questionsand you and you kind of need to
know how to navigate them.
But when I, when I, whensomeone is speaking about
something, all you have to do issay, oh, why is that important
to you?
And you'll start to get totheir values.
And sometimes you have to askit a few times and they'll say.
(09:15):
They may say, oh, you know, Ireally I want to be in a
relationship.
Oh, why is that important toyou?
And they may think about it.
Well, just, you know, so I canhave a companion to to do things
with.
Oh, why is that important toyou?
Well, I guess it's so that Ican feel loved.
You know, that really gets tothe base of why most humans do.
What they do is to get loved.
But so when you ask, why isthat important to you, you get
(09:36):
to the value.
And then, once you're at thevalue, you just have to ask well
, how do you know?
How do you know if you're loved?
How do you know if you'resuccessful?
So just the question, how doyou know?
Brings out the rule that theyhave and you may need to ask it
a few times, and some peoplehave multiple rules.
You know, in ask it a few times, and some people have multiple
rules.
You know, in order to feelloved, I need to have five
(09:56):
things, and it's it's hard forthat person to feel loved
because they have so many rulesaround it.
So how do you know?
Is the next question.
And then the belief.
All you have to ask is well,what's the best way to go about
that?
Or how do you go about gettingthat rule met?
And so they'll say, oh well, Iguess I wear low cut shirts.
Or you know, I go to the gym,so I look, so I look fit.
(10:18):
Or, uh, you know, I cook dinnerfor my partner, whatever their
belief is about how they meettheir rules.
So those are the threequestions, um, and you can just
ask people that and they won'tfeel like they're getting
interrogated.
You know it's, it's prettystraightforward and you can
really figure out what drivessomeone's subconscious mind and
their programs.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah, I mean, like you said, it sounds so simple
and like now that you say that,yeah, just ask those questions
and I can see the reverse ofthis, or not the reverse, but
the like, the negative side ofthis, where someone, like in a
manipulator who's not thatinterested, might use this.
But if you're actually tryingto build a relationship and want
something to work, this isphenomenal and I can think of
many groups that I want to offeryou to sell this stuff or to
(11:01):
share this.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, and it's not just you know we're talking
about relationships and itobviously shows up there.
But this shows up in yourcareer.
You know, if you have employeesor a boss, how valuable would
it be to know what their valuesare and what drives them and
what their rules and beliefs are?
Or if you're in court andyou're facing a judge or a jury,
(11:24):
knowing what their values areor in a negotiation.
I mean, this stuff applies inevery area of our life.
If you went into that and youthought you know what does this
person value and you canprobably figure that out by
going to their Facebook page ortheir social media or even from
your interactions you've alreadyhad what does this person value
?
And then how do they know?
(11:44):
How do they go about livingthat value?
And then you can really prettyeasily see the rules and the
beliefs they have and then justspeak to them and you can kind
of hit their triggers and makethem feel good and have a good
connection and influence them.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, yeah, definitely, and I think this is
a good point to say how peoplecan reach you and the programs
you have upcoming or whateveryou want to share, and then we
can get more into stuff latertoo, if you want.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Sure, so I'm.
I'm just in the middle of ofcreating this values course.
It's called living your highestvalues.
We just did week two last nightand people were were kind of
blown away because we uncoveredall of their internal conflicts.
And then next week we're goingto reset their values, their
rules and their beliefs and soif someone's listening to this
at any point, they can get thatcourse and the recordings and
(12:31):
there's a few hypnosis audiosthat go with that and that's at
ministryofthemindorg slashvalues.
And if they sign up for thefree trial they get access to
the entire course.
So they can go in two weeks,sign up for it, get the course,
take it and then unsubscribe ifthey want it for free.
But it's a pretty life-changingprocess.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah, yeah, sounds like it.
Yeah, I mean, I almost feellike there's no more to say.
It's almost like you covereverything, and this is
something that a lot of peopledeal with and this is the answer
to their questions, I mean, andthen obviously, you have to
work with them a little morethan that.
It's not that easy.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Yeah, there's some distinctions and and the, and a
few of these came up on our calllast night.
Uh, one thing to keep in mindis when you have rules and
beliefs where you put the poweron an external source.
You know, tamara has to do thisin order for me to feel loved.
My, my mom and dad have to tellme this.
In order for me to feel loved,my mom and dad have to tell me
this in order for me to feelsuccessful.
(13:30):
It's really unreliable and it'shard to meet consistently, and
so your emotions are going to bein the hands of other people.
And so when you have, you know,we say the word unconditional.
Well, a condition is really arule, isn't it?
Yeah, and so if you can get ridof the conditions for you to
(13:50):
feel love and for you to feelhappiness and for you to feel
successful, you can feelunconditional love because it is
generated from within you andyou don't need it from an
external source.
And that's where you feel freeand you feel fulfilled.
And the compulsion, like thecompelling feeling that you have
to be a people pleaser or thatyou have to act in a certain way
(14:12):
or you have to comply withsociety standards that just goes
away Once you get rid of theconditions for your happiness
and for your love and for yourjoy.
And so I think this is kind ofthe whole journey is how do we
figure out what our, what ourrules are that stop us from
feeling love all the time?
(14:34):
And then you take power backand you say, oh, this is
actually something I cangenerate within myself.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
So here here's something else to consider,
tamara is we want to have avalue system where our most
important value is supported byour second most important value,
which is supported by our thirdmost important, which is
supported by all the way downthe line of our values.
And so a lot of us we don't havethat, where they conflict, and
(15:06):
so we want a relationship first,and then, secondly, we want
freedom, and so, like, these twoconflict, and so you got to
align your subconscious mind sothat when you're in a
relationship, you actually havemore freedom.
And so, again, this is just howyour rules and beliefs are
configured, and that's what thisprogram is about is helping
people really see what, what'sdriving their nervous system and
(15:27):
their subconscious mind, andaligning their values, rules and
beliefs at every step so theyall support each other.
And that's when you feel whole,you feel congruent, you feel
like you have your foot on thegas and not on the brake anymore
, and so I mean you can probablystart to see how important that
is for relationships and careerand money and your health and
(15:49):
really every part of your life.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, and and I had a previous guest talk about
values and she has an actuallike sheet where you can
download like a huge list ofvalues.
So I think the combo of thisand that information will be
perfect.
And I am so glad I had you onagain and I'm so glad you sent
that email.
So I think a lot of people geta lot from this.
So thank you again for being onany final comments, or that was
(16:13):
kind of it right there.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah, no, I appreciate it, it's.
It's always fun to talk aboutan eye opening for most people
and uh, I can be reached uh atuh Nicholas at ministry of the
mindorg, or you can check outthis values course at
ministryofthemindorg slashvalues.
And again, if you sign up forthe free trial, you get it for
free with with a bunch of otherhypnosis audios and a bunch of
(16:36):
other courses as well.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Awesome.
Yeah, thank you so much foroffering that, and I think
everyone will get a lot out ofit.
So thank you again for being on.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
My pleasure.
Thanks, Tamara.
Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth
podcast.
Frank talk about sex and dating.
Hello everyone, tamara here,welcome to the show.
Today's guest is back onceagain.
His name is Nicholas Spohn.
He's a hypnotist and thefounder of Ministry of the Mind,
and we'll be talking about yourvalues and how they affect you
subconsciously.
Thanks for joining me, nicholas.
(00:21):
Yeah, I'm glad to be back.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, I was super excited.
I'm on your email list and youmentioned the idea of values and
how it can affect you,especially in relationships.
You think one way, but reallysubconsciously you don't.
So let's dive right in.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Okay, great.
So yeah, our values arebasically what our subconscious
mind moves us towards or awayfrom.
So, and and when I saysubconscious mind, I mean your
whole nervous system and yourwhole body.
So if you think about when youfeel like you're compelled to do
something or you're compelledto leave a situation, and it's
just like this drive that comesfrom the pit of your gut, and
(01:02):
just this feeling that'sgenerated by your subconscious
mind to move you towards or awayfrom your values, and the
problem is, nobody ever teachesus how to set our values.
So a lot of us have values thatare other people's values, and
the main, the main problem isthat we have multiple values
that often conflict with eachother, and so this is why, you
(01:25):
know, the best metaphor is likeit's we have one foot on the gas
and one foot on the brake,because most of us, you know, we
all want to be successful, buta lot of us don't want to have
any rejection or failure in ourlives, and so you know, what are
the odds of you having anysuccess if you're not willing to
fail and learn and face somerejection?
So those two things kind ofcounteract each other, and
(01:46):
oftentimes people spin theirwheels and they and they stay
stuck because they haveconflicting values.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I can think of many examples in my
own life.
So, yes, definitely say moreand like, especially
relationship specific.
Oh, I mean, yeah, I say I wanta relationship, but then I'm
afraid of losing my freedom, andso I keep saying it in date and
then I'm like don't really, youknow, I find something wrong or
prefer non-available people.
So yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So we and listen, you're not alone.
We all have these things whereyou know, I was doing a module
two of our values course lastnight with the group and and
someone was like, oh you know, Ilike I want a job, but then
every time I go startinterviewing for a job, I really
don't, because I want thefreedom.
And so what's important tounderstand is that underneath
(02:34):
those values, we have what arecalled rules.
So we have a rule for how weknow if we've achieved or met
that value.
And so you know, you and I canboth value the same thing let's
say we both value intimateconnection but we're going to
have a rule that's differentabout how we know if we're, if
(02:54):
we're having that, or how we youknow if we will each value
success.
My definition of success, myrule might be I have X dollars
in the bank account, and yourrule might be that you have a
certain type of relationship.
And so the rules are how weknow if we're meeting our values
.
And again, most people have noidea what their rules are
(03:16):
underneath it.
And then underneath the rulesis our beliefs, and so we have
beliefs about ourselves, beliefsabout other people, beliefs
about God and the economy and,you know, with the world, and so
the beliefs are our strategyfor meeting our rules.
So many people, you know, we allin a relationship, we want to
(03:38):
feel loved.
That's a value, and we all havedifferent rules about how we
know if we feel loved, right.
So someone has to.
They have to tell me they loveme, they have to take me on
trips or dates, they have totouch me in a certain way.
And then we have beliefs aboutwell, for me, to get someone to
touch me a certain way, I haveto look like this, or I have to
say this, or I have to flirt ina certain way.
And we have no idea that theperson across from us has
(04:03):
different rules about how theyfeel loved.
So, you know, if we both valuelove, I might have a rule that
says, well, I can feel lovedwhen I'm touched in a certain
way, and you might have a rulethat says you only feel loved
when somebody tells you thatthey love you and or they take
you on a trip, or they give yougifts, right.
These are kind of the lovelanguages.
We can think about it that wayas well and so most people have
(04:27):
no idea that the person acrossfrom them has different rules
about how they experience andfeel love, and so we all we're
usually giving love in the waythat we want to receive it, and
then underneath that, we alsohave beliefs.
So a belief is the beststrategy that we need to use to
(04:47):
get that value met.
So that might mean I feel likeI need to.
My belief is I need to look acertain way, I need to act a
certain way, I need to saysomething or I need to be giving
to people or a people pleaserin order to get love, and so,
because there's these threedifferent levels, most people
have no idea what they are, andthen you can have conflicts
(05:09):
where, at any of those levels,my beliefs might conflict with
my values, the rules that I havemight conflict with another
value I have, and so a lot ofwhat I do is just helping people
get clear Because, like yousaid, often in relationships we
want that intimacy andconnection and we also want
freedom, and so that createssome kind of cognitive
(05:33):
dissonance in us sometimes,doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, I mean all those areas like you're saying,
and I can see why so manyrelationships are so hard,
because everyone has all thisstuff going on and they don't
know themselves and they don'tknow the other person.
They think they know themselvesand the other person thinks
they know.
So this is just a total cluster, as we like to say.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah Well, this is a good framework.
So you can start by looking atyou know what are the things I
value in my life, and it's notjust what they say they value or
what you say you value, it'sthe things that you do naturally
and automatically, like Ireally value learning and growth
and and my belief is that if Iread books, I'll be, I'll learn
and grow.
So because that's such a highvalue for me, I don't have to
(06:14):
schedule time in my day to goread books.
Like it's.
It's a natural impulse that Iwould feel uneasy if I didn't
read a book, and so when wevalue something, that's kind of
how it shows up is like we havethis, we're compelled to do it
Does that make sense.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Oh yeah, I mean, that's my thing too.
Love of learning is very highfor me and I read and learn
constantly, and that I cannotnot do that.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
And so for someone who has, you know, let's say, a
fear of abandonment in arelationship, they're going to
have different, they're going tobe compelled to act differently
.
They might think, oh, I have tobe a people pleaser, so
somebody doesn't leave me, andthey're going to have this
compelled urge to do everythingthey think their partner wants,
because that's their beliefabout how they get love, which
(07:00):
is the thing that they value.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, I mean it goes to the anxious attachment style
avoidance, like, yeah, ifthey're convinced someone's
going to leave them, they'regoing to do yeah, yeah.
This whole thing all tiestogether.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's all just like I said.
It's all those layers.
So there's.
You know, I have differentvalues and you have different
values, and we each have rulesfor how we know we're meeting
those values and we each havebeliefs for the best strategy.
And so when you just thinkabout that simple framework, you
can look at the person acrossfrom you, you can see how they
act, you can see how theiremotions come up, and then you
(07:36):
know I talk a lot about patterns, recognizing patterns, and so
you can start to see like, oh,this person has a rule that they
don't feel loved if I show up10 minutes late for dinner.
Or you know, I tell a story.
I dated this girl and we werelike we had gone on like three
dates, so it wasn't anythingserious and she felt she would
(07:56):
get angry and kind of feeloffended and hurt if I didn't
call her or text her every night.
And so she has this rule in hermind oh, if the person I'm
talking to doesn't call me everynight, then he's not a good
communicator and this isn't agood relationship.
But I didn't have that rule andI didn't know her rule.
It took me a few times of hergetting upset to be like wait,
(08:17):
why is she getting upset here?
Oh, she has a subconscious rulethat makes her feel, in her
body, uneasy or forgotten,unless she gets a call every
night.
So when you know this, you cansee your partner's patterns and
you figure out exactly what theywant, how to make them feel
loved, how to make them feelappreciated, and then your
relationship gets so much better.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
I was just thinking that it'dbe good to have this chat and
then I'm sure you're going toexplain, like, how people can
understand and even, like,change them or affect them in
some way.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, so we can go into that right now and it's
it's actually stupidly simple.
It's really simple.
So there's just a few questionsand you and you kind of need to
know how to navigate them.
But when I, when I, whensomeone is speaking about
something, all you have to do issay, oh, why is that important
to you?
And you'll start to get totheir values.
And sometimes you have to askit a few times and they'll say.
(09:15):
They may say, oh, you know, Ireally I want to be in a
relationship.
Oh, why is that important toyou?
And they may think about it.
Well, just, you know, so I canhave a companion to to do things
with.
Oh, why is that important toyou?
Well, I guess it's so that Ican feel loved.
You know, that really gets tothe base of why most humans do.
What they do is to get loved.
But so when you ask, why isthat important to you, you get
(09:36):
to the value.
And then, once you're at thevalue, you just have to ask well
, how do you know?
How do you know if you're loved?
How do you know if you'resuccessful?
So just the question, how doyou know?
Brings out the rule that theyhave and you may need to ask it
a few times, and some peoplehave multiple rules.
You know, in ask it a few times, and some people have multiple
rules.
You know, in order to feelloved, I need to have five
(09:56):
things, and it's it's hard forthat person to feel loved
because they have so many rulesaround it.
So how do you know?
Is the next question.
And then the belief.
All you have to ask is well,what's the best way to go about
that?
Or how do you go about gettingthat rule met?
And so they'll say, oh well, Iguess I wear low cut shirts.
Or you know, I go to the gym,so I look, so I look fit.
(10:18):
Or, uh, you know, I cook dinnerfor my partner, whatever their
belief is about how they meettheir rules.
So those are the threequestions, um, and you can just
ask people that and they won'tfeel like they're getting
interrogated.
You know it's, it's prettystraightforward and you can
really figure out what drivessomeone's subconscious mind and
their programs.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah, I mean, like you said, it sounds so simple
and like now that you say that,yeah, just ask those questions
and I can see the reverse ofthis, or not the reverse, but
the like, the negative side ofthis, where someone, like in a
manipulator who's not thatinterested, might use this.
But if you're actually tryingto build a relationship and want
something to work, this isphenomenal and I can think of
many groups that I want to offeryou to sell this stuff or to
(11:01):
share this.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, and it's not just you know we're talking
about relationships and itobviously shows up there.
But this shows up in yourcareer.
You know, if you have employeesor a boss, how valuable would
it be to know what their valuesare and what drives them and
what their rules and beliefs are?
Or if you're in court andyou're facing a judge or a jury,
(11:24):
knowing what their values areor in a negotiation.
I mean, this stuff applies inevery area of our life.
If you went into that and youthought you know what does this
person value and you canprobably figure that out by
going to their Facebook page ortheir social media or even from
your interactions you've alreadyhad what does this person value
?
And then how do they know?
(11:44):
How do they go about livingthat value?
And then you can really prettyeasily see the rules and the
beliefs they have and then justspeak to them and you can kind
of hit their triggers and makethem feel good and have a good
connection and influence them.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, yeah, definitely, and I think this is
a good point to say how peoplecan reach you and the programs
you have upcoming or whateveryou want to share, and then we
can get more into stuff latertoo, if you want.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Sure, so I'm.
I'm just in the middle of ofcreating this values course.
It's called living your highestvalues.
We just did week two last nightand people were were kind of
blown away because we uncoveredall of their internal conflicts.
And then next week we're goingto reset their values, their
rules and their beliefs and soif someone's listening to this
at any point, they can get thatcourse and the recordings and
(12:31):
there's a few hypnosis audiosthat go with that and that's at
ministryofthemindorg slashvalues.
And if they sign up for thefree trial they get access to
the entire course.
So they can go in two weeks,sign up for it, get the course,
take it and then unsubscribe ifthey want it for free.
But it's a pretty life-changingprocess.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah, yeah, sounds like it.
Yeah, I mean, I almost feellike there's no more to say.
It's almost like you covereverything, and this is
something that a lot of peopledeal with and this is the answer
to their questions, I mean, andthen obviously, you have to
work with them a little morethan that.
It's not that easy.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Yeah, there's some distinctions and and the, and a
few of these came up on our calllast night.
Uh, one thing to keep in mindis when you have rules and
beliefs where you put the poweron an external source.
You know, tamara has to do thisin order for me to feel loved.
My, my mom and dad have to tellme this.
In order for me to feel loved,my mom and dad have to tell me
this in order for me to feelsuccessful.
(13:30):
It's really unreliable and it'shard to meet consistently, and
so your emotions are going to bein the hands of other people.
And so when you have, you know,we say the word unconditional.
Well, a condition is really arule, isn't it?
Yeah, and so if you can get ridof the conditions for you to
(13:50):
feel love and for you to feelhappiness and for you to feel
successful, you can feelunconditional love because it is
generated from within you andyou don't need it from an
external source.
And that's where you feel freeand you feel fulfilled.
And the compulsion, like thecompelling feeling that you have
to be a people pleaser or thatyou have to act in a certain way
(14:12):
or you have to comply withsociety standards that just goes
away Once you get rid of theconditions for your happiness
and for your love and for yourjoy.
And so I think this is kind ofthe whole journey is how do we
figure out what our, what ourrules are that stop us from
feeling love all the time?
(14:34):
And then you take power backand you say, oh, this is
actually something I cangenerate within myself.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
So here here's something else to consider,
tamara is we want to have avalue system where our most
important value is supported byour second most important value,
which is supported by our thirdmost important, which is
supported by all the way downthe line of our values.
And so a lot of us we don't havethat, where they conflict, and
(15:06):
so we want a relationship first,and then, secondly, we want
freedom, and so, like, these twoconflict, and so you got to
align your subconscious mind sothat when you're in a
relationship, you actually havemore freedom.
And so, again, this is just howyour rules and beliefs are
configured, and that's what thisprogram is about is helping
people really see what, what'sdriving their nervous system and
(15:27):
their subconscious mind, andaligning their values, rules and
beliefs at every step so theyall support each other.
And that's when you feel whole,you feel congruent, you feel
like you have your foot on thegas and not on the brake anymore
, and so I mean you can probablystart to see how important that
is for relationships and careerand money and your health and
(15:49):
really every part of your life.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, and and I had a previous guest talk about
values and she has an actuallike sheet where you can
download like a huge list ofvalues.
So I think the combo of thisand that information will be
perfect.
And I am so glad I had you onagain and I'm so glad you sent
that email.
So I think a lot of people geta lot from this.
So thank you again for being onany final comments, or that was
(16:13):
kind of it right there.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah, no, I appreciate it, it's.
It's always fun to talk aboutan eye opening for most people
and uh, I can be reached uh atuh Nicholas at ministry of the
mindorg, or you can check outthis values course at
ministryofthemindorg slashvalues.
And again, if you sign up forthe free trial, you get it for
free with with a bunch of otherhypnosis audios and a bunch of
(16:36):
other courses as well.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Awesome.
Yeah, thank you so much foroffering that, and I think
everyone will get a lot out ofit.
So thank you again for being on.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
My pleasure.
Thanks, Tamara.
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