February 27, 2023 • 12 mins
Today's episode I reach back to earlier days in my career and how to respond to people who choose to be passive agressive and how it led to my fictional law firm of Whitmore, Whiteman Whittemore and Whitman .
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Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:03):
Hello there friends, both old and new. Welcome to the
strive seek fine podcast. I'myour host, Chatsworth, home to
bite size, lifestyle advice froma fellow traveler on the road to
a better life. Brought to you bysomeone who is a longtime
educator, writer, parent, and anoutdoor enthusiast, who may just
(00:31):
may like a good DRAM because ourfuture is set not just through
our choices, but by ourwillingness to explore and find
a better way. Hello, friends,welcome to as I record this, the
(00:53):
famous American holiday. Yeah,it will be by the time I finish
President's Day weekend. I don'tknow about you. But I work a job
where I have Monday off. So theentire weekend just feels a
(01:15):
little less rushed. Because Itend to save up all the errands
till Saturday or Sunday. And I'mout of bed at six hitting the
grocery store and come rightback and get cooking then out
again for errands. So this is anice, relaxing pace of play type
(01:39):
day. And while I should be beingproductive today, I'll be honest
about that. I'm not, I thoughtit'd be kind of fun to share
something that I don't normallyshare. You see the nature of my
job. Like many that deals withthe public sector means that a
(02:05):
good portion of what goes onduring the day is protected,
private. And I won't discussmost of that until I am long
since retired. I do have a listof things. So if I ever decide
and write down some of thisstuff, it would make an
(02:29):
unbelievable book. Becausethere's no way people will
believe some of these stories.
Now in this case, I can tellthis because the when and the
where really doesn't matter. Andthose of you who knew me in the
days that this occurred, we'llknow giggle just a little bit.
(02:49):
But today I thought I'd share astory. The story of how I chance
Whitmore ended up with my ownpersonal law firm. The law firm
of Whitmore, Whitman, Woody,more, white more, and whatever
(03:13):
other wit you can think of. AndI'll warn you before we start.
Don't take legal advice from anyof those guys. Who knows what
they're thinking. Now let's getstarted. Where to begin? First
off, there's the obviousdisclaimer note. I am not an
(03:37):
attorney, I have no interest inbecoming an attorney. I don't
have the patience, as far as Ican tell for that. But where did
this come from? If you haveworked in a field where you are
dealing with people a lot, youare eventually going to upset
(04:02):
sad people sometimes, let's saya lot. And the why in the hell
don't matter. Well, just sufficeit to say I was trying to do my
job. What that job at the timewas a leave intentionally vague,
other than to say my job was tomake sure that I helped these
(04:27):
people, whether they liked it ornot. There in lies the point of
contention and conflict. Theydidn't like the type of help I
was able to offer. And while Iwish I could share details to
show that I did indeed try tolower this the level of concern
(04:47):
with this or try to come to aconclusion that would allow all
sides to feel like they've had awin that would tell you a little
bit too much of the story atthis point. So let's leave it at
this. There was a process, therewas a process ongoing that
(05:08):
lasted for many hours over thecourse of many weeks before it
got to the point of, we couldnot come to a workable solution.
So I invited them to take it tothe next person up the chain, as
you do got to try to solve theirproblems somehow. And because I
(05:30):
can't do these unscripted thingswithout, let's say meandering
all over the place. I'd like tojust go ahead and throw out the
person who unintentionally gaveme this idea. Shout out to Heath
over at the 14 podcast, he doesa series of retirement rants
from time to time. And they gotme thinking about my own
(05:54):
stories, and starting to siftand short sort on what I
possibly someday could share.
Now, there's a whole bunch Iwill share here in about 10
years when I'm done. Those Istill remember, because let's be
honest, my wife says what aboutthis story? And until she
(06:15):
prompts me I'm like, oh, yeah,that was hilarious. When it
happened. I wonder why I don'tremember it very well anymore.
Anyways, now a word from oursponsor.
Yes, Dad, how we how I couldhelp his podcast. So he said I
could make a commercial. Let'shelp get the word out. share
(06:40):
this podcast with your friends.
This is so important. We all getbusy. Just the simple share
helps keep people in the loop.
One way you can do this istagging the show, or using the
keep seeking hashtag when youare talking about the show. Or
(07:01):
leave a review on Apple podcastsor pod chaser reviews help
people find the pod. Andfinally, if you want to help
keep the lights on he's got abuy me a coffee setup, keep him
and research materials so he cankeep putting out more strive
(07:23):
seek fine, the link is in theshow notes. Thanks for listening
to strive seek fight.
Thanks, Trina for stepping inagain this week and being my
sponsor. Anyways, back to thevisit with my boss. It took a
little time. But afterwards, hecame in to talk to me. And what
(07:43):
came out of that meeting?
Doesn't matter. It's one thingout of hundreds that year and
probably hundreds of 1000s inthe career. Slight overstatement
for effect. So it doesn't matternow came in and said, Boy, they
did not like you said Fairenough. I did my best. And he
(08:10):
goes I know you did what you'resupposed to do. And then he
goes, but they showed it in aninteresting way. I said what do
you mean? Well, every time theymentioned you, you had a
different last name. said Comeon. They weren't being that
passive aggressive. With me atleast Nico Oh, no. They couldn't
(08:32):
remember the name or didn't wantto use the name Whitmore. So you
were one time they'd ask aquestion. Well, that Mr.
Whitman. So I'd have to correctthem. And they would smile. And
then they'd go, that Mr.
Whitmore and then that Mr.
Whiteman and several othervariations. He giggled a little
(08:56):
bit, he left my office. I wasinitially a little bit butthurt,
to be honest with you. But thenit hit me. It couldn't matter to
me, I'd done my job to the bestof my ability. Someone was
upset. I can't control theirresponses. I can choose how I
can how I respond myself. So Ihad to let it go. If that was
(09:19):
going to eat at me, I was goingto be done with the job long
before now. And it sat in theback of my mind and I told a
couple of my friends what wasgoing on and slowly but surely
it morphed and became somethingthere's actually a video out
(09:41):
there somewhere of me on a hikeknocking down a tree as a quote
unquote Chase Whitman Attorneyat Law. It became a joke. And it
continued to become a joke. Soone day I came across a lawyer's
card that someone had dropped onmy desk. It was the standard
(10:02):
card that you get. When you'rewalking out of diners and
confined the attorneys listed.
They're here call us when youhave these concerns. So for fun,
I sat down, and I printed outthe names Whitman, white, more
(10:25):
women, and white more Attorneysat Law, I stuck it to the card
and pinned it to my boss's wall.
Because it was uproariouslyfunny. By that point. One of my
best friends still read makesure to at least twice a week
refer to me as Chase white morejust because it amuses him. The
(10:46):
lessons I learned from this areobvious, I think, one, you can't
let things get personal and youcan't let them eat you. And if
someone else tries to make itpersonal, to make you mad, you
got to put it aside. Andremember, they're probably doing
the best they can. And if theytry to personalize it, step
(11:10):
back. Breathe, let it go.
Because when the situation isover, it could be the funniest
damn thing you've ever heard. Sotonight, this is Chase Whitman.
Fictional Attorney at Law,letting you know that no trees
were destroyed in the creationof this podcast, even as I sign
(11:34):
off Well, friends that's it forthis week's edition of strife
seek find. Thank you again forlistening. If you'd like to join
the discussion, or have ideasfor future episodes, hop on over
to the strife seek find podcastgroup on Facebook.
Alternatively, if Facebook's notyour thing, you can find me on
(11:58):
Instagram at strife seek findpodcast on Twitter, as at chance
Whitmore five, or even on email.
The links for all those are inthe show notes below. Until next
time, my friends, keep seekingyour own brilliant future
Hello there friends, both old and new. Welcome to the
strive seek fine podcast. I'myour host, Chatsworth, home to
bite size, lifestyle advice froma fellow traveler on the road to
a better life. Brought to you bysomeone who is a longtime
educator, writer, parent, and anoutdoor enthusiast, who may just
(00:31):
may like a good DRAM because ourfuture is set not just through
our choices, but by ourwillingness to explore and find
a better way. Hello, friends,welcome to as I record this, the
(00:53):
famous American holiday. Yeah,it will be by the time I finish
President's Day weekend. I don'tknow about you. But I work a job
where I have Monday off. So theentire weekend just feels a
(01:15):
little less rushed. Because Itend to save up all the errands
till Saturday or Sunday. And I'mout of bed at six hitting the
grocery store and come rightback and get cooking then out
again for errands. So this is anice, relaxing pace of play type
(01:39):
day. And while I should be beingproductive today, I'll be honest
about that. I'm not, I thoughtit'd be kind of fun to share
something that I don't normallyshare. You see the nature of my
job. Like many that deals withthe public sector means that a
(02:05):
good portion of what goes onduring the day is protected,
private. And I won't discussmost of that until I am long
since retired. I do have a listof things. So if I ever decide
and write down some of thisstuff, it would make an
(02:29):
unbelievable book. Becausethere's no way people will
believe some of these stories.
Now in this case, I can tellthis because the when and the
where really doesn't matter. Andthose of you who knew me in the
days that this occurred, we'llknow giggle just a little bit.
(02:49):
But today I thought I'd share astory. The story of how I chance
Whitmore ended up with my ownpersonal law firm. The law firm
of Whitmore, Whitman, Woody,more, white more, and whatever
(03:13):
other wit you can think of. AndI'll warn you before we start.
Don't take legal advice from anyof those guys. Who knows what
they're thinking. Now let's getstarted. Where to begin? First
off, there's the obviousdisclaimer note. I am not an
(03:37):
attorney, I have no interest inbecoming an attorney. I don't
have the patience, as far as Ican tell for that. But where did
this come from? If you haveworked in a field where you are
dealing with people a lot, youare eventually going to upset
(04:02):
sad people sometimes, let's saya lot. And the why in the hell
don't matter. Well, just sufficeit to say I was trying to do my
job. What that job at the timewas a leave intentionally vague,
other than to say my job was tomake sure that I helped these
(04:27):
people, whether they liked it ornot. There in lies the point of
contention and conflict. Theydidn't like the type of help I
was able to offer. And while Iwish I could share details to
show that I did indeed try tolower this the level of concern
(04:47):
with this or try to come to aconclusion that would allow all
sides to feel like they've had awin that would tell you a little
bit too much of the story atthis point. So let's leave it at
this. There was a process, therewas a process ongoing that
(05:08):
lasted for many hours over thecourse of many weeks before it
got to the point of, we couldnot come to a workable solution.
So I invited them to take it tothe next person up the chain, as
you do got to try to solve theirproblems somehow. And because I
(05:30):
can't do these unscripted thingswithout, let's say meandering
all over the place. I'd like tojust go ahead and throw out the
person who unintentionally gaveme this idea. Shout out to Heath
over at the 14 podcast, he doesa series of retirement rants
from time to time. And they gotme thinking about my own
(05:54):
stories, and starting to siftand short sort on what I
possibly someday could share.
Now, there's a whole bunch Iwill share here in about 10
years when I'm done. Those Istill remember, because let's be
honest, my wife says what aboutthis story? And until she
(06:15):
prompts me I'm like, oh, yeah,that was hilarious. When it
happened. I wonder why I don'tremember it very well anymore.
Anyways, now a word from oursponsor.
Yes, Dad, how we how I couldhelp his podcast. So he said I
could make a commercial. Let'shelp get the word out. share
(06:40):
this podcast with your friends.
This is so important. We all getbusy. Just the simple share
helps keep people in the loop.
One way you can do this istagging the show, or using the
keep seeking hashtag when youare talking about the show. Or
(07:01):
leave a review on Apple podcastsor pod chaser reviews help
people find the pod. Andfinally, if you want to help
keep the lights on he's got abuy me a coffee setup, keep him
and research materials so he cankeep putting out more strive
(07:23):
seek fine, the link is in theshow notes. Thanks for listening
to strive seek fight.
Thanks, Trina for stepping inagain this week and being my
sponsor. Anyways, back to thevisit with my boss. It took a
little time. But afterwards, hecame in to talk to me. And what
(07:43):
came out of that meeting?
Doesn't matter. It's one thingout of hundreds that year and
probably hundreds of 1000s inthe career. Slight overstatement
for effect. So it doesn't matternow came in and said, Boy, they
did not like you said Fairenough. I did my best. And he
(08:10):
goes I know you did what you'resupposed to do. And then he
goes, but they showed it in aninteresting way. I said what do
you mean? Well, every time theymentioned you, you had a
different last name. said Comeon. They weren't being that
passive aggressive. With me atleast Nico Oh, no. They couldn't
(08:32):
remember the name or didn't wantto use the name Whitmore. So you
were one time they'd ask aquestion. Well, that Mr.
Whitman. So I'd have to correctthem. And they would smile. And
then they'd go, that Mr.
Whitmore and then that Mr.
Whiteman and several othervariations. He giggled a little
(08:56):
bit, he left my office. I wasinitially a little bit butthurt,
to be honest with you. But thenit hit me. It couldn't matter to
me, I'd done my job to the bestof my ability. Someone was
upset. I can't control theirresponses. I can choose how I
can how I respond myself. So Ihad to let it go. If that was
(09:19):
going to eat at me, I was goingto be done with the job long
before now. And it sat in theback of my mind and I told a
couple of my friends what wasgoing on and slowly but surely
it morphed and became somethingthere's actually a video out
(09:41):
there somewhere of me on a hikeknocking down a tree as a quote
unquote Chase Whitman Attorneyat Law. It became a joke. And it
continued to become a joke. Soone day I came across a lawyer's
card that someone had dropped onmy desk. It was the standard
(10:02):
card that you get. When you'rewalking out of diners and
confined the attorneys listed.
They're here call us when youhave these concerns. So for fun,
I sat down, and I printed outthe names Whitman, white, more
(10:25):
women, and white more Attorneysat Law, I stuck it to the card
and pinned it to my boss's wall.
Because it was uproariouslyfunny. By that point. One of my
best friends still read makesure to at least twice a week
refer to me as Chase white morejust because it amuses him. The
(10:46):
lessons I learned from this areobvious, I think, one, you can't
let things get personal and youcan't let them eat you. And if
someone else tries to make itpersonal, to make you mad, you
got to put it aside. Andremember, they're probably doing
the best they can. And if theytry to personalize it, step
(11:10):
back. Breathe, let it go.
Because when the situation isover, it could be the funniest
damn thing you've ever heard. Sotonight, this is Chase Whitman.
Fictional Attorney at Law,letting you know that no trees
were destroyed in the creationof this podcast, even as I sign
(11:34):
off Well, friends that's it forthis week's edition of strife
seek find. Thank you again forlistening. If you'd like to join
the discussion, or have ideasfor future episodes, hop on over
to the strife seek find podcastgroup on Facebook.
Alternatively, if Facebook's notyour thing, you can find me on
(11:58):
Instagram at strife seek findpodcast on Twitter, as at chance
Whitmore five, or even on email.
The links for all those are inthe show notes below. Until next
time, my friends, keep seekingyour own brilliant future
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