April 9, 2025 • 13 mins
What if holding someone accountable is one of the most caring things you can do as a leader?
Listen for practical tips to shift accountability from control to care.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Teri Schmidt (00:00):
What if I told you that holding someone accountable
could be one of the most caringthings that you can do as a
leader?
I know for you and mecompassionate driven leaders,
the word accountability can feeluncomfortable.
You might worry about coming offas harsh or micromanaging, but
accountability, when done wellisn't about control.
(00:24):
It's about care.
It's about saying, I see you, Isee your potential, and I care
enough to help you reach it.
I'm Terry Schmidt, executive andleadership coach at Strong
Leaders Serve, where we workwith compassionate driven
leaders and their teams totransform potential into
performance.
(00:45):
Leading with both compassion andresults is a constant dance, one
that requires practicingleadership as an art.
Not just a science, it's notalways comfortable.
But here on the Strong LeadersServe Podcast, we're here to
help you navigate that dancewith clarity, confidence, and
care.
Today we're diving into thepractice of accountability as
(01:08):
care and how it's actually oneof your most powerful tools to
address the two biggestchallenges we're tackling this
season stifling workload anddisconnection.
So let's get started.
(02:15):
Well, in the theme of continuingto talk about leadership skills,
that may be a little bituncomfortable, especially for
compassionate leaders.
Remember last week we talkedabout the skill of advocacy with
MIT, professor Deborah an Kona.
Today we're gonna talk aboutaccountability, but before we
(02:35):
jump in, I wanted to remind youof the care leadership model
that we used as strong leadersserve that I introduced a few
episodes ago because itdefinitely is relevant in terms
of how we work with leaders.
To really hone their skills ofholding someone accountable.
So if you remember, the C standsfor Connect with Humanity or
(02:57):
Compassion, and that's all aboutbuilding authentic relationships
through trust and empathy.
The A means align expectations,and this is really where
accountability comes in, whereit's about setting clear,
mutually agreed upon goals.
The R stands for reinforcingProgress, that focus on results,
(03:20):
celebrating small wins whiledriving outcomes.
And finally, the E is empoweringwith trust, and that's where
delegating meaningfully givingautonomy with support comes in,
which is very much related toaccountability as care.
Together, these four elementscreate a culture where your team
(03:42):
knows what's expected, feelsvalued, and has the trust and
tools to succeed.
And as I mentioned today, we'refocusing on that second piece,
which also has relationship,particularly to the fourth
piece, aligning expectationsthrough accountability.
Okay, and we're gonna be talkingabout how shifting the way you
think about accountability canactually help you relieve
(04:06):
overwhelming workloads andrepair disconnection on your
team.
So let's be honest, first,accountability has kind of
gotten a bad reputation.
When I think of someone holdingme accountable, it isn't exactly
that warm, fuzzy feeling.
Too often accountability is usedas a way to catch people making
(04:26):
mistakes or to assign blame whenthings go wrong.
Think back to a time where youwere held accountable in a way
that felt controlling.
Maybe you were asked why youmissed a deadline without anyone
ever asking what challenges youwere facing, or maybe you were
surprised by feedback that youdidn't even know was coming.
That kind of accountability, thetop down one way kind creates
(04:50):
distance.
It makes people hide frommistakes instead of owning them,
and that distance fuelsdisconnection because
accountability starts to feellike something that is done to
you than something that's donewith you.
Now if you look around, and I'msure in your own life, there are
examples all over the placewhere people are shirking from
(05:11):
that kind of accountability.
They don't feel safe really toadmit mistakes.
So on the flip side, what doesaccountability look like when
it's rooted in care instead ofcontrol?
It is actually very simple.
It's accountability that startswith believing in someone's
potential and committing to helpthem succeed, which if you've
(05:34):
been around strong leaders,serve for any amount of time.
You know, this is very muchaligned with our definition of
Leadership, which iscourageously using your talents
to make a way for others tocourageously use theirs.
I was able to experience thisonce in my past.
I had a leader who noticed I wasfalling behind on a project and
(05:56):
instead of jumping straight to,why isn't this done?
Why are you so behind?
They asked, I know this isn'tlike you, is something getting
in the way.
How can I support you?
That one question transformedaccountability into a
partnership I felt seen, notscrutinized, and that gave me
(06:17):
the energy and the clarity toget back on track.
This is the kind ofaccountability that fosters
connection instead of breakingit down.
When you hold someoneaccountable with care, they feel
supported.
And that support keeps themengaged even when things are
hard.
So if you're thinking, okay, Iwanna do this, but how, let me
(06:38):
give you four practical ways toshift from control based
accountability to care-basedaccountability.
And as a bonus, these shiftsalso help us address the two
biggest leadership challengesthat we're talking about this
season.
Stifling workloads anddisconnection.
So the first way co-create clearexpectations together.
(07:02):
This isn't the first time thatwe've talked about clear
expectations and feedback.
But one of the fastest ways toreduce workload overwhelm is to
make sure everyone understandswhat's expected and what's not.
When you and your team co-createclear goals, it reduces
confusion and duplication ofwork.
Ask yourself and your team, whatdoes success look like?
(07:26):
And what will you need from meto get there?
This creates clarity whilereinforcing your commitment to
your team member's success,which reduces stress and fosters
connection.
It's also a great way to providesome stability, which we've
talked about in the past is oneof the four core needs that
(07:48):
Gallup finds that followers needfrom their leaders.
Second, lead with curiosity andnot judgment.
When people fall behind and theywill, especially in the times
that we're going through when somuch work is put on.
So few people.
In those situations, your firstresponse matters.
Curiosity creates safety andconnection while judgment, fuel,
(08:12):
defensiveness, and distance.
When you ask what's getting inthe way, you not only uncover
barriers that might beincreasing workload, not just
for that person, but foreveryone.
But you also show your team thatyou care about them as people.
And not just their output.
Third, you wanna create two wayaccountability.
Accountability can't just flowtop down.
(08:34):
Invite your team to hold youaccountable too.
Ask questions like, how am Idoing in supporting you?
This kind of mutualaccountability strengthens trust
and connection because it showsthat you're in this together.
It also gives you visibilityinto places where your own
actions or unclear processes,might be adding unnecessary
(08:54):
workload to your team.
If you have a particularleadership skill that you're
working on and you feelcomfortable with your team.
Showing them that you areactually working on developing
yourself can be a great way tocreate this two-way
accountability.
You might say, Hey, I know thatI tend to interrupt people in
(09:16):
meetings, and that's somethingthat I'm really working on.
If you find me interruptingsomeone, can you just give me
this little signal?
Or maybe you ask a team memberafter a meeting.
How was I in terms of keepingfrom interrupting people during
that meeting?
Having conversations like thisdoes wonders for increasing
(09:38):
psychological safety as well asa sense of connection on your
team, and it also likes, likewe've been talking about,
creates that two-wayaccountability.
So accountability can be seen ina positive light instead of a
negative one.
And finally, very much alignedwith the R.
(09:58):
In our care model, celebrateprogress, not just perfection.
When workloads are heavy, peopleneed to feel like progress
matters, even if the finish lineis still far away.
When you celebrate small wins,you reinforce that their efforts
matter, and you createopportunities to reconnect
around shared successes.
(10:20):
This reduces feelings ofisolation and helps the team
feel like they're makingmeaningful progress together.
So, I wanna leave you with achallenge.
As you think about your ownleadership this week, I
encourage you to reflect onthese questions.
When has someone held youaccountable in a way that felt
like care rather than control?
(10:41):
How might you take.
Some of what they did in thatsituation and apply it when you
have to hold someoneaccountable.
Second, can you think of a timewhen you held someone
accountable in a way thatstrengthened trust and
connection?
What's something that you canrepeat from that?
And third, who on your teamright now could benefit from
care-based accountability?
(11:02):
Especially someone who might bestruggling under the weight of
workload or feelingdisconnected.
Taking some time to think aboutthese three questions can help
you bring more intention andmore care into your leadership
practice of accountability.
So here's what I want you totake away today.
Accountability, when grounded incare, doesn't just drive
(11:23):
results.
It lightens the load andstrengthens connection.
It shows your team that you seethem, you believe in them, and
that you're invested in theirsuccess, even when things go
wrong.
So this week when you noticesomeone struggling, I challenge
you to pause, ask.
What's getting in the way andhow can I support you?
(11:43):
That simple shift can turnaccountability into an act of
care, and it can help you tackleboth workload and disconnection
in the process.
If you found something helpfulin this episode or have the
opportunity to practice it, Iwould love to hear from you.
Definitely connect with me onLinkedIn and let me know what
resonated.
(12:03):
I hope you have a wonderful weekleading as a compassionate
driven leader.
I'll be back with you again nextweek.
What if I told you that holding someone accountable
could be one of the most caringthings that you can do as a
leader?
I know for you and mecompassionate driven leaders,
the word accountability can feeluncomfortable.
You might worry about coming offas harsh or micromanaging, but
accountability, when done wellisn't about control.
(00:24):
It's about care.
It's about saying, I see you, Isee your potential, and I care
enough to help you reach it.
I'm Terry Schmidt, executive andleadership coach at Strong
Leaders Serve, where we workwith compassionate driven
leaders and their teams totransform potential into
performance.
(00:45):
Leading with both compassion andresults is a constant dance, one
that requires practicingleadership as an art.
Not just a science, it's notalways comfortable.
But here on the Strong LeadersServe Podcast, we're here to
help you navigate that dancewith clarity, confidence, and
care.
Today we're diving into thepractice of accountability as
(01:08):
care and how it's actually oneof your most powerful tools to
address the two biggestchallenges we're tackling this
season stifling workload anddisconnection.
So let's get started.
(02:15):
Well, in the theme of continuingto talk about leadership skills,
that may be a little bituncomfortable, especially for
compassionate leaders.
Remember last week we talkedabout the skill of advocacy with
MIT, professor Deborah an Kona.
Today we're gonna talk aboutaccountability, but before we
(02:35):
jump in, I wanted to remind youof the care leadership model
that we used as strong leadersserve that I introduced a few
episodes ago because itdefinitely is relevant in terms
of how we work with leaders.
To really hone their skills ofholding someone accountable.
So if you remember, the C standsfor Connect with Humanity or
(02:57):
Compassion, and that's all aboutbuilding authentic relationships
through trust and empathy.
The A means align expectations,and this is really where
accountability comes in, whereit's about setting clear,
mutually agreed upon goals.
The R stands for reinforcingProgress, that focus on results,
(03:20):
celebrating small wins whiledriving outcomes.
And finally, the E is empoweringwith trust, and that's where
delegating meaningfully givingautonomy with support comes in,
which is very much related toaccountability as care.
Together, these four elementscreate a culture where your team
(03:42):
knows what's expected, feelsvalued, and has the trust and
tools to succeed.
And as I mentioned today, we'refocusing on that second piece,
which also has relationship,particularly to the fourth
piece, aligning expectationsthrough accountability.
Okay, and we're gonna be talkingabout how shifting the way you
think about accountability canactually help you relieve
(04:06):
overwhelming workloads andrepair disconnection on your
team.
So let's be honest, first,accountability has kind of
gotten a bad reputation.
When I think of someone holdingme accountable, it isn't exactly
that warm, fuzzy feeling.
Too often accountability is usedas a way to catch people making
(04:26):
mistakes or to assign blame whenthings go wrong.
Think back to a time where youwere held accountable in a way
that felt controlling.
Maybe you were asked why youmissed a deadline without anyone
ever asking what challenges youwere facing, or maybe you were
surprised by feedback that youdidn't even know was coming.
That kind of accountability, thetop down one way kind creates
(04:50):
distance.
It makes people hide frommistakes instead of owning them,
and that distance fuelsdisconnection because
accountability starts to feellike something that is done to
you than something that's donewith you.
Now if you look around, and I'msure in your own life, there are
examples all over the placewhere people are shirking from
(05:11):
that kind of accountability.
They don't feel safe really toadmit mistakes.
So on the flip side, what doesaccountability look like when
it's rooted in care instead ofcontrol?
It is actually very simple.
It's accountability that startswith believing in someone's
potential and committing to helpthem succeed, which if you've
(05:34):
been around strong leaders,serve for any amount of time.
You know, this is very muchaligned with our definition of
Leadership, which iscourageously using your talents
to make a way for others tocourageously use theirs.
I was able to experience thisonce in my past.
I had a leader who noticed I wasfalling behind on a project and
(05:56):
instead of jumping straight to,why isn't this done?
Why are you so behind?
They asked, I know this isn'tlike you, is something getting
in the way.
How can I support you?
That one question transformedaccountability into a
partnership I felt seen, notscrutinized, and that gave me
(06:17):
the energy and the clarity toget back on track.
This is the kind ofaccountability that fosters
connection instead of breakingit down.
When you hold someoneaccountable with care, they feel
supported.
And that support keeps themengaged even when things are
hard.
So if you're thinking, okay, Iwanna do this, but how, let me
(06:38):
give you four practical ways toshift from control based
accountability to care-basedaccountability.
And as a bonus, these shiftsalso help us address the two
biggest leadership challengesthat we're talking about this
season.
Stifling workloads anddisconnection.
So the first way co-create clearexpectations together.
(07:02):
This isn't the first time thatwe've talked about clear
expectations and feedback.
But one of the fastest ways toreduce workload overwhelm is to
make sure everyone understandswhat's expected and what's not.
When you and your team co-createclear goals, it reduces
confusion and duplication ofwork.
Ask yourself and your team, whatdoes success look like?
(07:26):
And what will you need from meto get there?
This creates clarity whilereinforcing your commitment to
your team member's success,which reduces stress and fosters
connection.
It's also a great way to providesome stability, which we've
talked about in the past is oneof the four core needs that
(07:48):
Gallup finds that followers needfrom their leaders.
Second, lead with curiosity andnot judgment.
When people fall behind and theywill, especially in the times
that we're going through when somuch work is put on.
So few people.
In those situations, your firstresponse matters.
Curiosity creates safety andconnection while judgment, fuel,
(08:12):
defensiveness, and distance.
When you ask what's getting inthe way, you not only uncover
barriers that might beincreasing workload, not just
for that person, but foreveryone.
But you also show your team thatyou care about them as people.
And not just their output.
Third, you wanna create two wayaccountability.
Accountability can't just flowtop down.
(08:34):
Invite your team to hold youaccountable too.
Ask questions like, how am Idoing in supporting you?
This kind of mutualaccountability strengthens trust
and connection because it showsthat you're in this together.
It also gives you visibilityinto places where your own
actions or unclear processes,might be adding unnecessary
(08:54):
workload to your team.
If you have a particularleadership skill that you're
working on and you feelcomfortable with your team.
Showing them that you areactually working on developing
yourself can be a great way tocreate this two-way
accountability.
You might say, Hey, I know thatI tend to interrupt people in
(09:16):
meetings, and that's somethingthat I'm really working on.
If you find me interruptingsomeone, can you just give me
this little signal?
Or maybe you ask a team memberafter a meeting.
How was I in terms of keepingfrom interrupting people during
that meeting?
Having conversations like thisdoes wonders for increasing
(09:38):
psychological safety as well asa sense of connection on your
team, and it also likes, likewe've been talking about,
creates that two-wayaccountability.
So accountability can be seen ina positive light instead of a
negative one.
And finally, very much alignedwith the R.
(09:58):
In our care model, celebrateprogress, not just perfection.
When workloads are heavy, peopleneed to feel like progress
matters, even if the finish lineis still far away.
When you celebrate small wins,you reinforce that their efforts
matter, and you createopportunities to reconnect
around shared successes.
(10:20):
This reduces feelings ofisolation and helps the team
feel like they're makingmeaningful progress together.
So, I wanna leave you with achallenge.
As you think about your ownleadership this week, I
encourage you to reflect onthese questions.
When has someone held youaccountable in a way that felt
like care rather than control?
(10:41):
How might you take.
Some of what they did in thatsituation and apply it when you
have to hold someoneaccountable.
Second, can you think of a timewhen you held someone
accountable in a way thatstrengthened trust and
connection?
What's something that you canrepeat from that?
And third, who on your teamright now could benefit from
care-based accountability?
(11:02):
Especially someone who might bestruggling under the weight of
workload or feelingdisconnected.
Taking some time to think aboutthese three questions can help
you bring more intention andmore care into your leadership
practice of accountability.
So here's what I want you totake away today.
Accountability, when grounded incare, doesn't just drive
(11:23):
results.
It lightens the load andstrengthens connection.
It shows your team that you seethem, you believe in them, and
that you're invested in theirsuccess, even when things go
wrong.
So this week when you noticesomeone struggling, I challenge
you to pause, ask.
What's getting in the way andhow can I support you?
(11:43):
That simple shift can turnaccountability into an act of
care, and it can help you tackleboth workload and disconnection
in the process.
If you found something helpfulin this episode or have the
opportunity to practice it, Iwould love to hear from you.
Definitely connect with me onLinkedIn and let me know what
resonated.
(12:03):
I hope you have a wonderful weekleading as a compassionate
driven leader.
I'll be back with you again nextweek.
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