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May 7, 2025 9 mins

 Are you a leader who wants to rest—but finds yourself reaching for one more task instead? 

In this episode, we explore why high-achieving, compassionate leaders struggle to truly unplug, even when they think they’re resting. You’ll learn the neuroscience behind this pattern—and how to shift from constant doing to genuine restoration. 



Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/teri-m-schmidt/

Get 1-on-1 leadership support from Teri here: https://www.strongleadersserve.com/coaching

Set up an intro call with Teri: https://calendly.com/terischmidt/discoverycall

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Teri Schmidt (00:00):
Let me ask you something.
Have you ever set aside time torest?
Only to realize halfway throughthat you actually weren't
resting at all.
Maybe you were scrolling,refreshing, tidying, or checking
the news, and even though itlooked like downtime, your mind
was anything but calm.
If that sounds familiar, you'renot alone, and this episode is

(00:24):
for you.
I'm Terry Schmidt, your host andleadership coach here at Strong
Leaders Serve, where I partnerwith compassionate driven
Leaders to transform potentialinto performance and today I
wanna share a short story.
Some neuroscience backed insightand a few practical ways to
restore your energy in a worldthat constantly pushes us to do

(00:47):
more.
So let's dive in.

(01:44):
So.
A day a few weeks ago, I toldmyself I was gonna relax and a
big news story had just broken.
One of those rare ones thatsignaled like it might spark
some shared concern acrosspolitical lines.
I was curious, maybe even alittle hopeful, so I opened up

(02:04):
the news, scrolled throughsocial media, read all the
takes, you know how that goes.
But about halfway through, Irealized.
Wait, this isn't rest.
I had chosen something thatlooked like downtime because
technically it wasn't work, butmy nervous system didn't know
the difference.

(02:25):
I wasn't relaxing.
I was searching for clarity,consensus, maybe even for
control, and it wasn't working.
That moment stuck with mebecause I see leaders, myself
included, do the same thing in adifferent form all the time.
We think we're making aproductive, intentional choice

(02:46):
to push a little harder.
We tell ourselves just one moreemail, one more meeting, one
more person to check in on, andon the surface it looks
virtuous.
It even feels productive.
But what's really going onbeneath that surface?
More often than not, we'rechoosing productivity for its
own sake.
We're reaching for somethingthat feels like safety or

(03:08):
control or maybe a sense ofworth in a world that feels
increasingly chaotic.
So let's pause there becauseneuroscience actually gives us a
really helpful lens tounderstand what's going on.
Our brains have two majornetworks that we've talked about
before.
They shape how we pay attentionand process the world.

(03:29):
First.
There's the Task Positivenetwork or TPN.
That's the part of the brainthat lights up when we're
focused, solving problems,getting stuff done.
It's what most of us rely on atwork every single day.
This is your on task brain.
Then there's the default modenetwork or DMN.

(03:51):
This kicks in when we're notactively doing something, when
we reflect, when we daydream,when we make meaning out of our
experiences or imagine thefuture.
This is the network weinnovation, long-term visioning,
empathy, and deep insight live.
Have you ever had one of yourbest ideas when you were in the

(04:11):
shower?
That's probably because yourdefault mode network was
activated.
Here's the important part.
These two systems are kind oflike a seesaw.
When one is active, the other ismostly quiet.
The TPN gets results.
It's energizing.
But if we stay there too long,especially under stress, we burn
out.

(04:32):
We get rigid.
We lose the creativity andinsight we actually need to lead
Well.
So now you might be asking, howdo you intentionally shift
between these two networks whenyou need to?
So let's say you're stuck in theTPN, you're over-focused,
overworking a little rigid, andyou need the reflection,

(04:54):
creativity, or empathy thatcomes from the DMN.
Well beyond jumping in theshower, here are a few things
you can try.
First, loosen the structure.
Stop trying to optimize yourbreak.
Stop trying to do the latestrestoration activity just
because someone suggested it.

(05:14):
Second, choose unstructured timewalking, sketching, staring at
the ceiling, and give yourselfpermission to think about
nothing in particular or askyourself a curious question, and
then don't try to answer itright away.
Just let it simmer.
Now, believe me, I know this ishard.

(05:34):
I know, especially during theworkday, even if you're taking a
little micro break to do thesethings, it's hard to convince
yourself that it's a good use oftime.
But if you find the rest thatactually works for you and gets
you into that default mode,network, your creativity.
Your ability to be resilient inthe face of chaos.

(05:56):
All of that improves, and that'swhat you need to survive in
these chaotic times as a leader.
Now, on the other hand, maybeyou're feeling a little
unfocused or adrift.
You've been in the DMN too longand you need to shift back to
getting things done.
Now, I know for many of you,this probably doesn't happen
that often, but if it does.

(06:18):
Here are a few things you cantry.
Choose one clear, achievabletask.
Maybe you can set a short timer,maybe 15 to 25 minutes and go
into focus mode.
You can also reduce distractionsand give yourself a physical
cue, like closing all your tabsor standing up.
And finally reflect for a momenton why the task matters.

(06:40):
And then just do the first step.
It's not about forcing anythingin either direction.
It's about giving your brainwhat it needs in the moment, and
that starts with noticing whatmode you're in.
Here's where it gets tricky.
For many high achieving leaders,we often try to force rest.

(07:01):
You might have heard again aboutthe latest, greatest way to
relax and you schedule that intoyour day because everyone else
said that it would work.
But when we're doing theseactivities just to do them, we
bring that box checking mindsetwith us, and so we stay in the
doing mode.
The rest actually becomesanother task.

(07:21):
It's just dressed up a littlebit differently.
You're still in the TPN.
Now true restoration doesn'talways look like rest from the
outside.
It might happen in quietmoments, driving, drawing,
cooking, or even laughing with afriend.
But what matters is the why andthe how, not the what.
So I'm not saying we all need todisappear into a silent retreat,

(07:43):
but I am inviting you to ask onepowerful question the next time
you're about to reach for yourphone or your to-do list.
Or even your meditation app,what am I really seeking right
now?
And will this choice move metoward what I need or just keep
me busy?
Because in times of uncertainty,the difference between true rest

(08:04):
and just another form of doingmatters more than ever.
What restores us isn't alwayswhat looks like rest.
It's what gives our minds enoughspace to shift out of doing and
back into being.
Thanks for spending time with me today.
If this sparked a new insight,I'd love for you to share this
episode or even send it to acolleague who might be feeling

(08:25):
stuck in due mode without evenrealizing it.
And if you're looking for moreways to reconnect with clarity,
creativity, and calm, in themiddle of leadership, chaos,
connect with me on LinkedIn.
Until next time, take care andgive your mind the space it
deserves.
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