Strong Men Strong Marriages
Helping high achieving Christian men have more intimate marriages. Start with episodes 1-4 for an introduction. Traditional marriage counseling, couples therapy, couples counseling and even Christian marriage counseling will tell you that a good marriage is based on compromise. Validating feelings. Sacrifice. I tried that for years. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. That’s why most couples who go through marriage counseling are the same or worse off after. BUT, in my studies in neuroscience at BYU, MD training at UCLA, psychiatry residency, marriage coach training, and most importantly in my own marriage, I finally found what DOES work. Building strength. Spiritual, mental, emotional and sexual strength, while anchored in following Christian marriage principles. Strength is attractive. And, it feels great. It builds trust. Add to this the skills of communication and intimacy, and you get a marriage full of phenomenal mental, emotional and physical intimacy. And, you set the example for generations to follow. I applied this to my own marriage, I felt better than ever and had more connection and passion than I thought possible. I started teaching this to other men and couples and they were able to create mental, emotional and sexual intimacy faster than they thought possible. This even works for affair recovery and emotional affairs. Now it’s your turn. Become a strong, attractive man. Create a strong, passionate marriage.
Episodes
You provide financially for your family.
But do you provide emotionally?
Are you an emotionally safe place for your wife?
Does she feel like you are on her team?
Can she feel your devotion to her?
Are you a model of emotional strength and safety to your kids?
Can you soothe yourself through difficult emotions, and help your children do the same?
If you’re like most men, the answer to this is no.
And ...
Maybe your marriage isn’t where you want it.
Your wife isn’t connecting with you physically or emotionally…
Or maybe you’re facing separation or divorce.
Maybe your kids are driving you crazy with their disrespect, ignoring or other issues.
Or, maybe there are other things that are just crap right now.
Well, it could very well be that this is just the manure time.
The stinky, gross time that is required for...
Sometimes the best you can do is just show up.
And that's part of being a grounded leader.
That's what today is about.
Showing up and putting the podcast up because I committed to myself and to my listeners to do it.
So, if you're feeling like the most you can do is just show up...
Know that at the end of the day, showing up matters.
Dr. Mike
P.S. Let’s work together to become Grounded Leaders of ourselves, our families, ...
Do you have a hard time staying consistent in your relationship goals?
Do you keep losing your temper?
Do you keep shutting down when your wife has a complaint against you?
Do you try to fix those things, and make some progress for a while…
Only to slip back into the same old patterns?
Well, there’s a reason for that.
And a solution.
Learn how to make your changes really stick…
To create a better con...
What is God like?
How does He respond when you do what’s “right?”
How does He respond when you do what’s “wrong?”
How does God feel about achievement?
The answers to these questions shape a large amount of your relationship with God.
They will also shape how you feel towards God, how you feel like God feels towards you, and therefore how much time you will WANT to spend with God.
If you’re like me, you’ve sp...
Is your wife saying she doesn’t feel safe with you?
Are your kids staying away from you in certain situations?
Do your wife and kids shy away from sharing their emotions with you?
If so, there’s a lack of emotional safety in your family relationships.
And, if you want loving relationships with your kids…
And an intimate relationship with your wife…
You need to create emotional safety.
Learn how in today’...
What do you do when your kid is scared?
Tell him not to be scared?
What do you do when you’re mad?
Yell at the person?
Tell yourself you shouldn’t feel that way?
The problem with this kind of response is that it doesn’t let the emotion move through and out of you.
Emotion means to move out.
Step 1 in tending to emotions is to acknowledge it’s there, and that it has a good reason to be there.
Do this ...
What do you want out of life?
Six pack abs?
Millions of dollars?
A life full of loving relationships?
Anything worthwhile also has a cost.
Are you willing to pay the price to have those things?
Learn how to evaluate that cost…
And how to create a community of people to help you keep going when you feel like it’s not worth it…
In today’s episode.
Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast.
...
Do you have to do things?
Work? Be a good dad? Be a good husband?
Do your kids have to do things? Get their jobs done? Go to school?
Does your wife have to do things? Give you attention, appreciation, affection and sex?
Here’s the thing.
When we think we and others HAVE TO do things…
It creates BURDEN.
And, most people don’t want to be in a relationship that feels like a burden.
Instead, what do you ...
I know. We talk about how you shouldn’t really need these things from your wife.
But, we all want them.
And, there’re nothing wrong with wanting them.
After a tough therapy session this week, God helped me understand how taking care of a wife actually works.
So that she freely gives attention, affection, appreciation and sex to her husband.
Learn what it is in today’s episode.
Listen on the Strong Men Strong...
What is your main goal as a husband?
What is your main goal as a father?
Not what are your many goals, but what is your MAIN goal?
If you haven’t really defined this, you’re probably optimizing for something unconscious.
And, that’s probably based on your own upbringing.
So, if you’re not quite getting the results you want as a husband and father…
It’s time to be more conscious of what you are optimizing for...
I had a tougher day today.
Wishing that my wife would give me more attention, appreciation, affection and sex.
Feeling like I couldn’t be happy until she did.
Then, God reminded me: Who is in charge of your happiness?
If I can only be happy if the people around me are acting certain ways…
I’m giving my power over to them.
Does that mean I just wait patiently forever and not get anything I want?
No.
...
When it comes to asking for what you want in marriage, men make some common mistakes:
-Not asking at all
-Asking in a passive aggressive way
-Pouting
-Asking in a demanding way
All of these are unattractive and unlikely to get what you want.
There is, however, a “goldilocks zone” that will give you the BEST chance of getting what you want in marriage.
Whether it’s attention, appreciation, affection, food...
THANK YOU for your prayers to help me find freedom in relationships.
I had some MAJOR breakthroughs this week that have me feeling better than I EVER have in my marriage and as a father.
This one I think you should listen to vs giving you the highlights here.
Watch on YouTube here.
Dr. Mike
P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io ...
This week I need a break.
So, the podcast is just reminding me and you to rest when we need to.
Dr. Mike
P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.io
P.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mi...
We all have rules for life.
The things that tell us how we’re supposed to act… and how other people are supposed to act.
Are you supposed to be in shape? What kind of shape?
Are you supposed to make money? How much money?
Are your kids supposed to listen to you? What if they don’t?
How is your wife supposed to treat you? What are her jobs?
We all have answers to these, but often we’re not totally aware of th...
I’m not sure what the next step is for you.
What needs to change to take you to new levels of joy and intimacy in your marriage.
But, God does.
So, instead of worrying about things never getting better…
Or setting a plan on your own…
Take some time alone and open yourself to receive the ideas, perspective changes or encouragement that God has for you.
I had a very meaningful shift this week that I share in t...
We all have needs in relationships.
The trick in a marriage is figuring out…
Which needs are coming from a CHILDISH place…
And which needs are coming from an ADULT place.
If it’s coming from a CHILDISH place, it’s up to YOU to take care of that need.
If it’s coming from an ADULT place, it’s time to have a conversation with your wife and ask clearly for what you need.
But often to get to that adult place, you...
Do you want your marriage to change RIGHT NOW?
Do you want your kids to act better RIGHT NOW?
Most of us do.
But, when we try to force people to be something they’re not…
It usually backfires.
Like trying to force open a flower.
You end up just destroying the flower.
Or cutting open the goose to get more golden eggs.
You just end up with a dead goose.
Learn how to develop the patience to let peop...
Do you feel like your wife doesn’t appreciate you?
That she cares about the kids more than you?
That she can be nice to everyone except you, but is still willing to use the money you bring in?
I’ve certainly felt this way.
And this energy is not the powerful masculine energy that feels good and attracts your wife to you.
It’s a young, immature energy that needs to be tended… by you.
Learn how to take care of...
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