Strong Men Strong Marriages

There are going to be days when you feel down in your marriage.

Sad. Overwhelmed. Tired.

And, that’s OK.

That’s normal and human.

Instead of trying to “buck up,” take care of yourself first.

Acknowledge you are feeling down, see what you need, and meet that need.

Then, think about other ways you can think in the future.

Heal first, fix later.

Learn more in today’s episode.

Watch on YouTube here.

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There are two main forces of power available to you as a husband and father.

One is a destructive force.

This force is a “my way or the highway” energy.

It intimidates to get its way.

And, it is more powerful than doing nothing.

And, it ends in people wanting to create distance from you, making you feel lonely in your marriage.

The other force available to you is the TRANSFORMATIONAL force.

This power al...

In our marriage and parenting, we’re often too hard or too soft.

When we’re too hard, we are angry, frustrated, or overly controlling of what people do.

This comes from our own discomfort of letting others do things differently.

And, it leads to people distancing from us.

When we feel that distance, we often go too soft. Too permissive. Too weak.

And, our wives and kids kind of like that…

But they don’t resp...

You want to be the best husband.

You want to be the best father.

You want to be the best at your job.

That pressure can help you perform…

But it also leads to a feeling of pressure, stress…

And even rejection and not feeling good enough.

Unfortunately, those aren’t the best feelings to build a family foundation on.

Instead, you can view your family as a garden.

A garden that God is in charge of, and ...

 I used to think that the way to heal was three simple steps.

Step 1 –Identify your old, negative, unattractive patterns.

Step 2 – Create new positive attractive patterns.

Step 3 - Practice the new patterns until you can’t get them wrong

And, that sequence does work.

However, it misses some important things.

Mainly, it misses acknowledging why the old patterns were there in the first place.

It doesn’t gi...

If you’re like me, your wife and kids make you mad.

Maybe it happens a lot.

If your anger seems extreme for the situation…

(like when I got upset this week when my oldest son said goodbye to other people in the family or not me)...

There’s probably a younger you that needs caring for.

And the adult you also needs to recognize the hurt…

And then choose from an adult mindset what to do about it.

Learn how ...

I’ve had a pattern in my marriage.

I feel hurt by something.

The kids or Elizabeth ignoring me. The kids being rude. Elizabeth turning away from a hug or kiss.

Then, I get mad.

I pull away. I think to myself “Fine, if they don’t want me then they can pay for everything themselves!”

I picture leaving them alone to fend for themselves.

I can say mean things and get angry when I feel this way.

Then later, I...

This past week I had the chance to stand up for someone else.

A large man was being threatening and eventually physically aggressive to his wife or girlfriend (not sure which it was)..

Thanks to the MMA training I’ve been receiving from Ethyn Ewing (here’s a recent knockout of his)...

I felt confident to confront the guy and stop him from continuing to abuse this woman.

It felt great to join the ranks of men who wil...

When you wife says she wants space…

It’s SCARY!

Our brains usually go to thinking she wants to leave, whether that’s true or not.

Usually we either go to pleading for her not to leave…

Or we go to anger.

Both of these are unattractive and push our wives away.

Instead, we can share what we’re actually feeling…

Ask for her help…

And take care of ourselves.

Learn more about this in today’s episode.

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It can be scary and frustrating if your wife doesn’t want to pray with you.

Or maybe it’s that she doesn’t want to go to church or read scriptures with you.

You can worry that your marriage won’t make it.

That your kids won’t grow up with God.

That your wife and kids are on the fast track to eternal damnation.

Unfortunately, this fear usually makes you anxious and controlling…

Which drives your wife and kids...

What’s your goal for your marriage?

A wife who is excited to see you?

A wife who hugs, kisses and has sex with you?

A wife who appreciates you?

And that should happen all the time, right?

And if not, something is wrong. Right?

Well, this mindset of having an “endpoint” to marriage usually leads to frustration.

God helped me see that it’s much better to see your wife and marriage as a plant.

Something...

It can be easy to get into a downward spiral about our wife and marriage.

The sex isn’t there.

The connection isn’t there.

We’re dealing with infidelity, separation or divorce.

It can all seem pretty hopeless.

And, when we feel hopeless, we don’t feel good, we’re not attractive, and we don’t solve our problems.

Fortunately, there’s a way out of this.

It’s gratitude.

Not necessarily for our wife, but ...

Does your wife feel distant?

Does she seem to not really care about you?

Does she seem to care more about the kids than you?

Do you tell her that she should be paying more attention to you, hoping to get more from her?

Well, maybe it’s not actually about you at all!

And maybe asking her to do more will create MORE distance instead of connection.

Learn how to approach your wife in a strong, supportive, secure...

Do you wish you had more in your marriage?

More sex?

More conversation?

More connection?

More fun?

It’s not a problem to want more.

However, your emotional state when you desire and ask for more can be a BIG problem.

Most of us ask for more from a place of whininess and “not enough.”

This usually just makes our wives feel like they’re not doing enough and less motivated to do anything more.

Learn...

Are you hiding in your marriage?

Do you avoid speaking your mind?

About money, sex, in-laws, parenting, religion, housework or free time?

Do you get defensive with your wife?

All of these symptoms are due to a fear…

A fear of part of you being exposed or rejected.

Learn how to overcome that fear…

Through acceptance of your “Shadow…”

Watch on YouTube here.

And join the program to learn how to do t...

Does your wife make you mad?

When she criticizes you?

When she seems to care about the kids more than you?

Do you feel like just a paycheck?

When we get into this negative spiral…

It doesn’t do us or anyone else much good.

Thankfully, there IS a way out of it…

A way we can feel FREE instead of TRAPPED.

We can feel powerful no matter what our wife or others might be doing.

Learn how in today’s epi...

Are you feeling “stuck” in your marriage?

Do you avoid having difficult conversations?

Do you avoid asking for what you want?

Are you stuck in “roommate mode?”

There’s one big reason for the “stuck” feeling in your marriage.

It’s avoiding pain.

It’s normal to avoid the pain of a hard conversation and risking rejection.

It just keeps you stuck.

Learn a tool from the book The Tools how to REVERSE your ...

I’ve recently started to take MMA lessons and I am LOVING it.

Here are some of my big takeaways:

-Having a strong base keeps you prepared and stable

-Having a strong base in God does the same

-You won’t die if you take a punch

-You won’t die if you take an emotional punch from your wife or kids

-You can be confident in caring for yourself

Hear more about this and what I’ve been learning in today’s episod...

I read a few books in the last few weeks that have really impacted the way I view life and life after death.

After by Bruce Greyson, MD  and

Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander, MD 

The main takeaways I got are:

-Life DOES continue after this life

-We are LOVED by our creator, God

-He has a great plan for us

-We can tune into his love and plan any time, and the more we do the better we feel and the better ...