Strong Men Strong Marriages

I know. We talk about how you shouldn’t really need these things from your wife.

But, we all want them.

And, there’re nothing wrong with wanting them.

After a tough therapy session this week, God helped me understand how taking care of a wife actually works.

So that she freely gives attention, affection, appreciation and sex to her husband.

Learn what it is in today’s episode.

Listen on the Strong Men Strong...

What is your main goal as a husband?

What is your main goal as a father?

Not what are your many goals, but what is your MAIN goal?

If you haven’t really defined this, you’re probably optimizing for something unconscious.

And, that’s probably based on your own upbringing.

So, if you’re not quite getting the results you want as a husband and father…

It’s time to be more conscious of what you are optimizing for...

I had a tougher day today.

Wishing that my wife would give me more attention, appreciation, affection and sex.

Feeling like I couldn’t be happy until she did.

Then, God reminded me: Who is in charge of your happiness?

If I can only be happy if the people around me are acting certain ways…

I’m giving my power over to them.

Does that mean I just wait patiently forever and not get anything I want?

No. 

...

When it comes to asking for what you want in marriage, men make some common mistakes:

-Not asking at all

-Asking in a passive aggressive way

-Pouting

-Asking in a demanding way

All of these are unattractive and unlikely to get what you want.

There is, however, a “goldilocks zone” that will give you the BEST chance of getting what you want in marriage.

Whether it’s attention, appreciation, affection, food...

THANK YOU for your prayers to help me find freedom in relationships.

I had some MAJOR breakthroughs this week that have me feeling better than I EVER have in my marriage and as a father.

This one I think you should listen to vs giving you the highlights here.

Watch on YouTube here.

Dr. Mike

P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io ...

This week I need a break.

So, the podcast is just reminding me and you to rest when we need to.

Dr. Mike

P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.io

P.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mi...

We all have rules for life.

The things that tell us how we’re supposed to act… and how other people are supposed to act.

Are you supposed to be in shape? What kind of shape?

Are you supposed to make money? How much money?

Are your kids supposed to listen to you? What if they don’t?

How is your wife supposed to treat you? What are her jobs?

We all have answers to these, but often we’re not totally aware of th...

I’m not sure what the next step is for you.

What needs to change to take you to new levels of joy and intimacy in your marriage.

But, God does.

So, instead of worrying about things never getting better…

Or setting a plan on your own…

Take some time alone and open yourself to receive the ideas, perspective changes or encouragement that God has for you.

I had a very meaningful shift this week that I share in t...

We all have needs in relationships.

The trick in a marriage is figuring out…

Which needs are coming from a CHILDISH place…

And which needs are coming from an ADULT place.

If it’s coming from a CHILDISH place, it’s up to YOU to take care of that need.

If it’s coming from an ADULT place, it’s time to have a conversation with your wife and ask clearly for what you need.

But often to get to that adult place, you...

Do you want your marriage to change RIGHT NOW?

Do you want your kids to act better RIGHT NOW?

Most of us do.

But, when we try to force people to be something they’re not…

It usually backfires.

Like trying to force open a flower.

You end up just destroying the flower.

Or cutting open the goose to get more golden eggs.

You just end up with a dead goose.

Learn how to develop the patience to let peop...

Do you feel like your wife doesn’t appreciate you?

That she cares about the kids more than you?

That she can be nice to everyone except you, but is still willing to use the money you bring in?

I’ve certainly felt this way.

And this energy is not the powerful masculine energy that feels good and attracts your wife to you.

It’s a young, immature energy that needs to be tended… by you.

Learn how to take care of...

There are going to be days when you feel down in your marriage.

Sad. Overwhelmed. Tired.

And, that’s OK.

That’s normal and human.

Instead of trying to “buck up,” take care of yourself first.

Acknowledge you are feeling down, see what you need, and meet that need.

Then, think about other ways you can think in the future.

Heal first, fix later.

Learn more in today’s episode.

Watch on YouTube here.

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There are two main forces of power available to you as a husband and father.

One is a destructive force.

This force is a “my way or the highway” energy.

It intimidates to get its way.

And, it is more powerful than doing nothing.

And, it ends in people wanting to create distance from you, making you feel lonely in your marriage.

The other force available to you is the TRANSFORMATIONAL force.

This power al...

In our marriage and parenting, we’re often too hard or too soft.

When we’re too hard, we are angry, frustrated, or overly controlling of what people do.

This comes from our own discomfort of letting others do things differently.

And, it leads to people distancing from us.

When we feel that distance, we often go too soft. Too permissive. Too weak.

And, our wives and kids kind of like that…

But they don’t resp...

You want to be the best husband.

You want to be the best father.

You want to be the best at your job.

That pressure can help you perform…

But it also leads to a feeling of pressure, stress…

And even rejection and not feeling good enough.

Unfortunately, those aren’t the best feelings to build a family foundation on.

Instead, you can view your family as a garden.

A garden that God is in charge of, and ...

 I used to think that the way to heal was three simple steps.

Step 1 –Identify your old, negative, unattractive patterns.

Step 2 – Create new positive attractive patterns.

Step 3 - Practice the new patterns until you can’t get them wrong

And, that sequence does work.

However, it misses some important things.

Mainly, it misses acknowledging why the old patterns were there in the first place.

It doesn’t gi...

If you’re like me, your wife and kids make you mad.

Maybe it happens a lot.

If your anger seems extreme for the situation…

(like when I got upset this week when my oldest son said goodbye to other people in the family or not me)...

There’s probably a younger you that needs caring for.

And the adult you also needs to recognize the hurt…

And then choose from an adult mindset what to do about it.

Learn how ...

I’ve had a pattern in my marriage.

I feel hurt by something.

The kids or Elizabeth ignoring me. The kids being rude. Elizabeth turning away from a hug or kiss.

Then, I get mad.

I pull away. I think to myself “Fine, if they don’t want me then they can pay for everything themselves!”

I picture leaving them alone to fend for themselves.

I can say mean things and get angry when I feel this way.

Then later, I...

This past week I had the chance to stand up for someone else.

A large man was being threatening and eventually physically aggressive to his wife or girlfriend (not sure which it was)..

Thanks to the MMA training I’ve been receiving from Ethyn Ewing (here’s a recent knockout of his)...

I felt confident to confront the guy and stop him from continuing to abuse this woman.

It felt great to join the ranks of men who wil...