Get strong. Get attractive. Get a strong, joyful and intimate marriage. Traditional marriage counseling, couples therapy or couples counseling will tell you that a good marriage is based on compromise. Validating feelings. Sacrifice. I tried that for years. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. That’s why most couples who go through marriage counseling are the same or worse off after. BUT, in my studies in neuroscience at BYU, MD training at UCLA, psychiatry residency, marriage coach training, and most importantly in my own marriage, I finally found what DOES work. Building strength. Spiritual, mental, emotional and sexual strength. Strong is sexy. And, it feels great. As I applied this to my own marriage, I felt better than ever and had more connection and passion than I thought possible. I started teaching this to other men and couples and they were able to transform their marriages as well. This even works for affair recovery and emotional affairs. Now it’s your turn. Get strong. Get attractive. Get the marriage of your dreams.
Most men ask me “What should I do?”
What should I do so my wife has sex with me more?
What should I do to win my wife’s trust back after infidelity?
What should I do to end my separation and win my wife back?
Unfortunately, this is the wrong question.
You see, it’s not really what you DO that matters.
You can DO the right things, like buy your wife flowers.
But, if you’re feeling anxious and needy…
And have the intention of getting her to...
According to famous marriage researcher John Gottman, what’s the #1 thing that women want from a man?
And what do women want to trust you to do?
To protect them. Physically and emotionally.
They want to know that you will keep them safe.
The main complaints women have about men are:
“He’s never there for me” and “there’s not enough intimacy and connection.”
These complaints both speak to the idea that their man is not phy...
Last week we talked about how to recover if you had an emotional affair.
This week we’re talking about what to do if your wife had an emotional affair.
This is a very difficult time for you. You feel betrayed, angry, and depressed.
You’re not sure if you should try to stay, try to win her back, or leave her.
You don’t know what you should do about this other guy.
You can feel frozen as far as what to do.
In this episode you’ll discover:
An emotional affair does major damage to a marriage.
Your wife feels angry, depressed and betrayed.
You feel guilty, but are not sure what to do to fix it.
You’ve broken off the relationship, but your wife still brings it up often.
Fortunately, there are steps you can take to recover after an emotional affair.
You need to:
-Identify and change the reasons why you had the emotional affair
Justin felt like he needed to change or he was going to lose all connection with his wife and end up as roommates.
Nikki felt like she “didn’t need Justin” and “couldn’t count on him to do anything.”
Their relationship felt co-dependent and strained, and their physical connection was not where either one wanted it to be.
Justin decided to join the program (without telling Nikki at first).
Nikki was surprised by how fast and how extensi...
Infidelity breaks the main foundation of a great marriage: trust.
So, how do you rebuild trust after infidelity?
Some men think that it’s by apologizing, moving forward, and having her decide to trust you again.
But it’s actually the opposite.
You need to really dig into her pain for as long as it takes.
You need to understand it completely before you can move forward.
And you have to understand that she can’t trust you. It’s not somethi...
If you’re not having the amount or type of sex you would like with your wife…
You are doing things that are turning her off.
As I’ve worked with high achieving Christian men, there are three main ways that men turn their wife off.
Being an emotional terrorist.
Acting like a baby.
And being a parasite.
Learn what these mean…
How to stop doing them…
And what to do instead…
In today’s episode.
Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages here.
Right now you want your marriage to change.
You want more attention, appreciation, affection and sex for your wife.
You feel like you’ve tried lots of things, and maybe they’ve helped some.
But, you’re still not where you want to be.
Here’s the problem.
You’re not using the 3 keys to transform your marriage.
You need to commit to changing yourself NO MATTER WHAT your wife does.
You need to commit to getting outside help to see your blind ...
You’re trying to get your wife’s attention, appreciation and affection.
You’re cooking, cleaning, making the money, and helping with the kids.
You’re shutting down activities that you enjoy to spend more time with her.
And despite all your sacrifices…
It’s not working!
You don’t have the mental, emotional and sexual intimacy you want with your wife.
There’s good news.
You’re a guy who puts in the effort.
You’re just directing that effort i...
You’re working hard to change your marriage.
You’re listening to podcasts, reading books, and learning as much as you can.
And you’re seeing some changes.
But you’re not where you want to be.
Why is that?
When it comes to changing your behavior in relationships…
You have blind spots.
Just like everyone else.
And you can either humble yourself enough to get the help to see them…
And make changes in days or weeks that would take you years on ...
What does your dream marriage look like?
For most of the guys I talk to, it involves being great friends, aligned on big goals, supporting each other, having fun together, and enjoying a great sex life.
Being connected spiritually, mentally, emotionally and sexually connected.
But, you’re probably not spending much time envisioning that marriage.
Probably because you think it’s just not possible.
That with your situation, with your wife...
This weekend was powerful for me.
As I went through significant struggles recently, a workshop I attended reminded me of my main job.
To align myself with God and do His work.
To use my skills in alignment with how God wants me to use them.
For myself. With my wife. With my kids. And in my business.
As a simple and powerful exercise, ask yourself:
What’s God’s message for me today?
Then write that down. And share it as appropriate.
What is vulnerability?
The dictionary describes it as being easily hurt, influenced or attacked.
That doesn’t sound very sexy.
But, Brene Brown and others have redefined vulnerability in a way that IS attractive.
That is being courageous enough to risk emotional exposure.
This week was a hard week for me, and I exposed myself (emotionally) to my wife at a deeper level than I ever have.
It took courage, but resulted in more intimacy, more...
If you’re not having the passionate sex that you want in your marriage…
You’re probably making some of the common mistakes that high achieving Christian men make.
There are common, unattractive ways of thinking, feeling and acting towards sex…
That IMMEDIATELY turn your wife OFF.
Learn what these are…
And how to replace them with ATTRACTIVE ways of thinking, feeling and acting…
In today’s episode.
Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages her...
Many men I talk to are surprised by the problems in their marriage.
They just don’t understand why their wife doesn’t want to have sex with them.
Why she had an emotional or sexual affair.
Why she wants a separation or divorce.
This episode will help you know EXACTLY why these things happen…
And how to fix the underlying problems.
So that you can create deep mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife and have the marriage that ...
You’re trying to win your wife back.
Whether that’s wanting to have sex more often, avoid or end a separation, or avoid a divorce.
And, maybe you’re starting to make positive changes.
The changes your wife has asked for from you for a long time.
You’re listening more. Prioritizing her. Getting her gifts.
But, she’s not impressed.
She doesn’t get excited. She doesn’t say thank you. She barely even notices the effort you’re putting in.
Most high achieving Christian men think that to have a more intimate marriage…
They need to DO something different.
Buy more gifts. Spend more time. Do the right service for their wife.
And if that were the case, then marriage counseling would always work.
Because that’s what most marriage counselors focus on.
Doing. Action. Skills.
But, often, DOING a good thing…
Like using marriage communication skills…
Actually leads ...
What does it mean to “be a man?”
Today, there’s more confusion than ever about this.
There’s even a term, “toxic masculinity,” that makes it seem like it’s toxic to have male character traits.
Fortunately, there is a perfect example of manhood that we can follow…
Learn how to use your God-given male gender and character traits to create the powerful life and intimate marriage that you want in today’s episode.
As you start to make positive changes in your life and marriage, it’s exciting.
You feel better and your wife starts to build some hope.
But then, a setback happens.
You go back to old patterns.
You break her trust.
And now it seems that all is lost.
But, there’s a way out of this.
And actually, these setbacks can be used to create MORE connection with your wife.
Learn how in today’s episode.
Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages here.
Do you feel like your marriage is unfair?
That you’re doing so much, but not getting attention, appreciation or affection from your wife?
Do other people seem to notice all the work you’re putting in, but your wife doesn’t?
If you’re thinking this way…
You’re in the martyr mindset.
And, you’re viewing your wife or your marriage as an affliction.
As a thorn in your side.
As arthritis that you have to deal with.
Do you think your wife likes ...
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