#2 - You Matter – Embracing Your God-Given Worth in Marriage

In this heartfelt episode of The Stronger Deeper Marriage Show, we dive into the subchapter "Feeling Unimportant?" from my book, That Secret Sauce: Essential Ingredients for Creating an Exceptional Marriage.

Many women (and men) experience moments in marriage when they feel overlooked or underappreciated. If you've ever wondered, "Do I even matter?" – this episode is for you. Together, we'll explore how to combat those feelings by remembering your worth in God’s eyes and recognizing the unique value you bring to your relationship.

Join me as we reflect on practical ways to shift our focus, embrace the truth of who we are, and reignite the sense of importance and appreciation in marriage. Let this episode encourage you to see yourself as the “good thing” God says you are and to stand confidently in your role as a spouse.

Listen in, and let’s walk this journey of self-worth and marriage renewal together!

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Hey everyone, welcome to the Stronger, Deeper
Marriage show.
I'm Lucille Reddick and I'vebeen married for over 39 years.
For more than 20 years, I'vebeen guiding men and women
towards creating blissfulmarriages.
I travel around the countryspeaking about healthy marriage
relationships and I'm the authorof That Secret Sauce, Essential

(00:27):
Ingredients for Creating anExceptional Marriage book.
In this show, I want to be yourgo-to source for building a
thriving marriage filled withlong-lasting happiness, peace,
purpose, and passion.
Whether you're a woman or a man,join us as we navigate the

(00:47):
journey to a stronger, morefulfilling relationship without
the fear of vulnerability andrejection.
Now, this episode is calledFeeling Unimportant.
It's a subchapter in my book.
This section addresses thecommon feelings of being

(01:09):
unimportant or unappreciated inmarriage and offers guidance on
how to overcome those feelings.
Many women and men express thatthey feel unimportant or
unappreciated in their marriage.
When these feelings arise, it'simportant to remind yourself of
how important you are to God.

(01:30):
Proverbs 18, 22 says, This isthe New American Standard
Version says, He who finds awife finds a good thing and
obtains favor from the Lord.
Wives, you are his good thing.
Husbands, realize that you areblessed by the Lord to have a

(01:55):
purpose partner.
So, perhaps as a child, you weremade to feel unimportant.
Maybe at work you feelunimportant and now in your
marriage you're feelingunimportant or unappreciated.
Remember, you are importantbecause God says you are
important.
Psalms 139.14 tells us that youare awesomely and wonderfully

(02:20):
made, which means he took greatcare in creating you and me.
Let me share a personal storyabout feeling unimportant in my
marriage and how I overcame it.
There was a time several yearsinto our marriage when I went
through a season of feelingcompletely unimportant.
I was doing so much, workingoutside the home, raising the

(02:45):
children, managing the familyfinances, making sure everything
ran smoothly.
But despite all of that, it feltlike my efforts were invisible.
I kept thinking, does he evennotice?
Does he even care?
One particular evening after along day, I remember serving a

(03:06):
meal that I'd spent hourspreparing.
And the family, we ate together.
But it felt like I was justgoing through the motions of
life and I felt like I was beingtaken for granted.
I'd always put so much effortinto making sure that he and the
kids were taken care of.
But in that moment, I felt likenothing more than just a

(03:32):
caretaker.
I felt unseen, unappreciated,and unloved.
It wasn't just about the dinner.
It was a buildup of smallmoments where I felt neglected.
I went to our room, I sat on thebed, and I cried.
I prayed and I asked God, am Ienough?

(04:01):
Why does it feel like I'minvisible in my own home.
The next day, instead of lettingthe hurt grow, I knew I needed
to express my feelings.
After the kids were in bed, Isat down with my husband and I
told him how I was feeling.
I was vulnerable and it wasn'teasy.

(04:21):
I shared how it hurt to feellike everything I was doing for
our family went unnoticed.
How I missed feeling appreciatedand how lonely it made me feel.
Even though we were living underthe same roof.
He was deeply moved by my words.

(04:42):
He hadn't realized the toll thateveryday life had taken on our
connection.
In his mind, he was working hardfor us.
And in the midst of providing,he hadn't been paying attention
to how much I was doing or how Iwas feeling.
He apologized.

(05:03):
And we sat there and talkedabout how we both had been
neglecting the small butimportant things like thanking
each other, recognizing eachother for each other's efforts,
and being intentional aboutshowing appreciation.
From that moment, we decidedwe'd be more mindful of our

(05:23):
relationship.
We made a promise to expressmore gratitude to each other.
Whether it was thanking me fordinner or appreciating something
he did with the kids, it becamea regular practice in our home.
We also scheduled more time forus to connect, like weekly date

(05:44):
nights.
Now the change didn't happenovernight.
but gradually I began to feelseen again.
I realized that I needed to notonly express my needs, but also
take time to appreciate myselfand the role I played in our
family.
As my husband became moreintentional about showing his

(06:06):
appreciation, I began to feelvalued again.
We grew stronger from thatexperience, learning that even
in the busy seasons of life,Showing love and appreciation is
a commitment we must make daily.
Now, the solution here wastwofold.

(06:28):
Number one, it was opencommunication.
It's essential to express yourfeelings when you're feeling
unappreciated.
No one is a mind reader, andsometimes our loved ones may not
even realize the impact theiractions or lack thereof are
having on us.
Vulnerability and honesty canbring about healing.

(06:52):
Now, the second part of that isintentional appreciation.
Together, we decided to create ahabit of showing appreciation to
one another, even in thesmallest things.
This helped rebuild the feelingof being valued, and it
reaffirmed that both partners,both of us, have an important

(07:13):
role in the marriage.
Another way to combat feelingsof unimportance is I recommend
affirming yourself, buildingyourself up, and reminding
yourself how important you areto God.
Look around and see howimportant you are to the people
around you.
Surround yourself with positivepeople who will speak life into

(07:35):
you.
Read positive material andremind yourself of the important
things you do in your marriage.
Just take a moment and thinkabout the roles you play.
Are you the one who keeps thehouse neat and clean?
Are you the one who manages thebills?
Are you ensuring that the kidsget to school and practice and

(07:57):
doctor's appointments and all ofthat?
Whatever your role is, remindyourself of the critical part
you play in your marriage andknow that you matter.
You matter.
Well, That's a glimpse into thesubchapter feeling unimportant

(08:17):
for my book.
And that's all for today'sepisode of the Stronger, Deeper
Marriage Show.
Thank you so much for spendingyour time with me today.
I deeply appreciate each andevery one of you for tuning in.
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(08:40):
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Join us next time as we continueto explore ways to strengthen
and deepen our marriage.

(09:01):
Until then, keep striving for amarriage full of peace, purpose,
and passion.
Bye-bye.