#6 - Are You Letting Little Things Steal Your Peace?

In marriage, it’s not always the big issues that cause the most damage—it’s the little daily irritations that slowly chip away at our peace and connection.

In this episode of the Stronger Deeper Marriage Show, I share a personal story about how something as simple as a pair of shoes left in the wrong place began to trigger frustration in my marriage—and how I learned to shift my mindset and manage my emotions instead of letting them manage me.

🎧 Inside this episode, you’ll discover:

• How to recognize and release petty frustrations
• The value of seeking wise counsel and fresh perspective
• Why choosing peace over perfection leads to a stronger relationship

Whether you’ve been married for 2 years or 20, this episode will help you reset your emotional responses and refocus on what truly matters.

Listen now and choose peace, one small moment at a time.

#ChristianMarriage #FaithAndRelationships #EmotionalIntelligence #MarriagePodcast #StrongerDeeperMarriage #PeaceInMarriage

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey everyone.

(00:00):
Welcome to the Stronger DeeperMarriage Show.
I'm Lucille Reddick and I'vebeen married for over 39 years.
For more than 20 years, I'vebeen guiding men and women
towards creating blissfulmarriages.
I travel around the countryspeaking about healthy marriage
relationships, and I'm theauthor of that Secret Sauce,

(00:21):
essential Ingredients forCreating an Exceptional Marriage
Book.
This is your go-to source forbuilding a thriving marriage
filled with long lastinghappiness, peace, purpose, and
passion.
Whether you're a woman or a man,join us as we navigate the
journey to a stronger, morefulfilling relationship without

(00:43):
the fear of vulnerability andrejection.
In this episode, we're divinginto the next subchapter from my
book.
Let's get started.
In today's episode, we'recontinuing our journey with the
subchapter managing negativeemotions in marriage.
This section offers practicalsolutions for handling the small

(01:07):
irritations that can build up inmarriage.
It encourages us to refocus andchoose peace.
You know, marriage is such abeautiful journey, but let's be
honest, it's not always sunshineand smooth sailing.
There are moments when smallthings start to feel a lot

(01:29):
bigger than they really are, andsometimes it's not the major
conflicts that challenge us, butthose little daily annoyances
that can build up over time.
I wanna take a moment to talkabout something we face managing
negative emotions in marriage,whether it's frustration,

(01:52):
irritation, or just that naggingfeeling of being unappreciated.
We've all been there and ifyou've ever felt yourself
getting upset over somethingsmall, something that in
hindsight wasn't worth theenergy.

(02:12):
Then you're in the right place.
Let me share a story with youthat really opened my eyes to
how I was letting small thingsget the best of me and how I
learned to shift my focus.
Early in our marriage, I foundmyself getting upset over small
things that seemed to happenrepeatedly.

(02:33):
One of the biggest ones, myhusband would take off his shoes
and leave them right in the den.
Or the family room.
It felt like no matter how manytimes I asked them to put them
away, they'd end up in the samespot.
I'd walk in, see them there,sometimes trip over'em, and I'd
immediately feel frustrated.

(02:54):
In my mind, I thought, why can'the just take them to the room,
put'em in the closet, whatever.
It's not that hard at first.
I let it slide.
But the more it happened, themore I felt like it that it was

(03:15):
a personal attack, like hewasn't listening or respecting
my efforts to keep the house inorder.
Eventually I realized I wasallowing something as small as a
pair of shoes to set the tonefor my day.
I'd carry that frustration intoour interactions, and it started

(03:38):
creating unnecessary tensionbetween us.
One day I confided in a closefriend who had been married for
a long time.
I told her about the shoesituation and how it was really
starting to bother me, and shelaughed, not at me, but at how

(03:58):
similar the situation sounded tohers.
She said, Lucille.
I used to get upset about thesame kinds of things, but I
decided that if shoes on thefloor were the biggest problem I
had, I was doing pretty well.
That hit me.

(04:20):
She encouraged me to shift myfocus, to stop letting the
little things overshadow thebigger picture of what really
mattered in our marriage.
So the next time I saw thoseshoes, instead of stewing in
frustration, I prayed.
I picked them up, put them inthe closet and let it go.

(04:47):
I reminded myself that thoseshoes belonged to a man who
worked hard for our family andloved me deeply.
In that moment, I chose peace.
Over irritation andsurprisingly, I felt lighter.
From then on, I stop allowingsmall annoyances to have power

(05:08):
over me.
Now, there are three takeaways Ihope you get.
One is shift your perspective.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Small frustrations will alwayspop up in marriage, but it's
important to recognize.
When they're not worth theemotional weight, ask yourself,

(05:32):
is this worth disrupting thepeace in my home?
Most of the time the answer isno.
Number two, seek wise counseland support.
Surround yourself with friendsand mentors who uplift your
marriage and provide soundadvice.

(05:55):
Talking to someone with moreexperience can offer new
insights and help you let go ofunnecessary frustrations.
Now, remember I said wisecounsel, not the single friend
or relative that's never beenmarried and doesn't have a frame
of reference.
Now a single friend of relativecan also give wise counsel.

(06:16):
If they are uplifting yourmarriage and encouraging you.
Number three, choose peace overperfection.
Not everything will go exactlythe way you want it in marriage,
and that's okay.
Focusing on the positives likeyour spouse's love, hard work

(06:41):
presence.
That fosters gratitude andstrengthens your relationship.
Sometimes the best response issimply to pray.
Adjust your attitude, attitude,and move forward with grace.
'cause guess what?
We don't always do the thingsthat our spouse wants us to do

(07:02):
either.
So there's that part.
So what would that look like foryou?
When you're experiencingnegative, a negative emotion?
How are you going to encourageyourself and focus on the
positives?
I'd like to pray for ourmarriages now.

(07:23):
Heavenly Father, thank you forthe gift of marriage and for the
love and partnership you'vegiven us.
Lord, we know that whilemarriage is a blessing.
It also brings moments ofchallenge and frustration.
Sometimes the little things canbuild up and weigh on our

(07:44):
hearts.
We ask for your grace and wisdomto help us navigate these
moments with patience, love, andunderstanding.
Father, we lift up everymarriage today for those
carrying negative emotions.
Whether from unspoken words,misunderstandings, or the daily

(08:08):
stresses of life, may your peacesettle over their hearts.
Help us to remember that ourspouse is not the enemy, and
that the small irritations donot define our relationship.
Teach us, oh Lord, to focus onthe good.
To extend grace when thingsdon't go as we expect and to

(08:32):
cherish the gift ofcompanionship that you have
given us.
Help us to release the burdenswe've been holding onto and
replace them with gratitude,love, and a renewed sense of
connection.
Strengthen our marriages.
Father.
Let your presence be thefoundation that holds us

(08:52):
together.
And may your love guide usthrough every season.
We thank you for being oursource of peace, and we trust
you to work in our hearts and inour homes.
In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen.
Now that's a glimpse into thesubchapter managing negative

(09:13):
emotions in marriage from mybook, that secret sauce,
essential ingredients forcreating an Exceptional
Marriage.
That's all for today's episodeof The Stronger Deeper Marriage
Show.
You may hear my dog in thebackground.
Thank you so much for spendingtime with me today.

(09:34):
I deeply appreciate each andevery one of you for tuning in.
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(09:56):
newsletter.
Join us next time as we continueto explore ways to strengthen
and deepen your marriage.
Until then, keep striving for amarriage full of peace, purpose,
and passion.