Balancing Professional Ambitions and Family: A Journey Towards Mental Wellness and Self-Care

Send us a text

Have you ever felt torn between your professional responsibilities and your personal life? Join me, Melissa Franklin, on Structuring Chaotic Minds as I open up about my journey from a leadership role in education to prioritizing my family and mental wellness. Learn about the emotional and physical toll of trying to balance it all, especially in the wake of my grandfather's passing. I candidly share how my relentless dedication to my students came at the cost of precious time with my children, eventually leading to a complete mental breakdown and severe health complications, including a debilitating bout with COVID. These life-altering experiences forced me to reassess my priorities and embrace the necessity of being present for my family.

In the next segment, we focus on the imperative of self-care and mental wellness. Discover how letting go of certain responsibilities can open doors to new and better opportunities. It's crucial to acknowledge that it’s okay not to do everything and to seek support when needed. I highlight valuable resources available at structuringchaoticminds.com and structureinnovations.com, where you can connect with coaches or mentors to assist with mental wellness and life balance. Join me for an episode dedicated to breaking the stigma around mental wellness and underscoring the importance of personal well-being for a healthier, more balanced life.

Join the "Structuring Chaotic Minds" Family
Connect with Us:

• Facebook: Follow us on Facebook for updates, inspirational quotes.
• Instagram: Follow Melissa on Instagram for life stories, behind-the-scenes, episode highlights.
• Pinterest: Follow us on Pinterest for motivational content, episode pins.

Subscribe to Our Community:

• Don’t miss out on the conversation! Subscribe to our community to stay updated, share your thoughts, and connect with like-minded individuals.

Be a Part of the Conversation:

• Your voice matters! Join the conversation on our social media channels, share your journey, and find support in our community.

Start Your Journey Today:

• Your path to better mental health and life balance begins with "Structuring Chaotic Minds." Follow us, subscribe to our community, and take the first step towards a more balanced life today.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone, welcome back to Structuring Chaotic
Minds.
I'm Melissa, and today I wantto share something incredibly
personal.
This episode isn't about careermoves or personal growth.
It's about what happens whenthe role that defines you starts
to take more from you than itgives.
It's about the struggle tobalance my role in education

(00:22):
with the deep needs of my family.
To balance my role in educationwith the deep needs of my
family, all while trying toprotect my mental wellness.
Ultimately, that struggle ledme to walk away from the path I
had dedicated my life to for somany years.
For years, my passion washelping children find
opportunities for a futurethrough education.

(00:43):
I gave everything I had my time, energy and even my health to
ensure the success of students Iworked with.
But at a certain point I had toface the difficult truth In
order to provide for my ownchildren's future, I needed to
step back and focus on just them.

(01:04):
Let me be clear the hardestpart of this wasn't realizing I
needed to make a change.
The hardest part was figuringout how to let go of a role that
had defined me for so long.
How do I stop being the personeveryone relies on when you've

(01:24):
spent years sacrificingeverything for others.
Today, I'll take you through ajourney and difficult choices
that I had to make along the way.
Welcome to Structuring ChaoticMinds, a show focused on
balancing mental wellness andlife.
If you're just like me, thenyou likely enjoy crushing your
goals, but it's also possiblethat right now you're struggling

(01:45):
with anxiety, being overwhelmedor balancing life due to mental
health.
I'm here to help.
I'm your host, melissa Franklin.
I'm a leadership and personaldevelopment coach on a mission
to amplify the fellow voicesabout our situations, share
critical information andknowledge with our family and
friends and, at the same time,help remove the social BS about

(02:05):
mental wellness and mindsets.
The weight of leadership.
Whenever I started inleadership, it was everything I
thought I wanted.
We were pushing towards anA-rated school.
I was so deeply invested inhelping students succeed, but
behind the scenes, my personallife was starting to crack under

(02:26):
the weight of theresponsibilities that I had.
My grandfather had passed awayand the loss hit me a lot harder
than I would have ever expected.
I was grieving, but I didn'thave the space or the time to
properly process it because Iwas so busy being the person
that others needed for me to beat work.

(02:48):
I think it's important toclarify something here, though
my kids attended the same schoolthat I worked at, so it's not
like I wasn't present in theirlife, but even though we were in
the same place physically,emotionally I was always
somewhere else.
My focus was on other people'schildren.

(03:10):
I was making sure otherfamilies had what they needed,
while sacrificing my ownfamily's well-being in the
process.
I felt guilty, but I justifiedit to myself by saying I'm doing
this for their future.
I justified it to myself bysaying I'm doing this for their
future.
I thought if I just kept pushingand if I just kept working
harder, everything wouldeventually fall into place, but

(03:32):
the truth is, I was so stretchedthin that there was nothing
left for my own children at theend of the day.
They saw me every day, but theydidn't really have me, Not in
the way that they reallydeserved.
I tried to balance it all, butlet's be honest, there's no
perfect balance.
When you're giving so much toone area of your life, something

(03:54):
else has to give, and for me itwas time with my children and,
eventually, my health.
I was physically present, butemotionally.
I was physically present, butemotionally I was completely
drained, mental breakdown andhealth struggles.
Looking back, I should haverecognized the warning signs
earlier.

(04:14):
But when you're in the thick ofit and you tell yourself you
can handle it, you just keepgoing.
You think if you just push alittle bit harder, things will
eventually work themselves out.
But in my case they didn't.
The stress built up so muchthat my body actually gave out.

(04:35):
After my grandfather passed away, I experienced a complete
breakdown Mentally.
It was like my body had saidenough and my nervous system
actually started to shut downand for the first time I
couldn't keep going and it wasso terrifying.
It wasn't just about mentalexhaustion, it was physical too.

(04:58):
I was dealing with chronicfatigue, headaches and constant
tension.
My body couldn't handle thepressure anymore.
It was a wake-up call because Ididn't fully listen before,
even though I knew I wasreaching my limit.
I was always pushing for more.
I had responsibilities, I hadstuff to keep up with.

(05:21):
I couldn't just stop.
I don't know what anybody wasasking of me.
And that mindset landed me inthe hospital again when I
contracted COVID.
For 21 days I had a fever of103 or more and I was in and out
of the hospital trying torecover.
But my body had been so worndown that every day actually

(05:42):
felt like a battle at that point.
Those days were some of thedarkest of my life and I
understand what a lot of peoplehave gone through who really did
struggle with COVID.
I've never felt so physicallyweak and mentally drained at the
same time.
I wasn't sure if I was going tomake it through.

(06:04):
And I was lying there sick forthe first time and I wasn't
thinking about my job or school,I was just thinking about my
children.
I was thinking about how, forso many years, I had put others
others first, and how now, whenthey needed me, I couldn't even
be there for them.
I had spent years sacrificingfor others in my head, because

(06:28):
it was a financial exchange tobe able to provide for my own.
I worked late nights, took onextra shifts.
I worked late nights, took onextra shifts, I did summer
school, I did extra tutoring.
I even did private tutoringoutside of school just to ensure
that my kids had a future thatI really did want to provide for
them.

(06:55):
But at that moment I realized Ihadn't been present in a way
that mattered the most the lossof my best friend.
As if things couldn't get anyworse, a month after battling
COVID, I actually lost my bestfriend.
She had COVID with me, so itwas even more heartbreaking
because we had recoveredtogether and then to lose her

(07:19):
was just one of the deepestpains I've ever had to deal with
.
She was someone who had walkedwith me through the hardest
times in my life.
She understood my mental healthstruggles and the things I had
faced because she had livedthrough them to herself.
We shared highs and lows ofwhat bipolar disorder really

(07:40):
meant for us, and we had beeneach other's lifeline for some
of our darkest moments.
Losing her felt like I waslosing a part of myself.
It was a devastation that Itruly wasn't prepared for.
She was the one person who, Iguess you can say, was
understanding what I was goingthrough, and without her I felt

(08:01):
completely alone.
I felt like this last threadwas what I was holding it all
together and it just snapped.
It was in this moment thateverything I was holding on to
my role, my responsibilities, myidentity as an educator it just
all became even heavier than Ihad ever imagined.
The hardest part I still didn'tknow how to leave.

(08:26):
I didn't know who I was withoutthat job.
I had spent so many yearsbuilding my identity around,
being a leader, an educator, aservant, and there for the
children that I didn't know whatelse to do.
It was as though, leaving thatrole, I was losing a version of

(08:48):
myself that I knew and I didn'tknow anything else, shifting
away from education.
At this point, I had no choicebut to step back.
My health was failingcritically and my family was
suffering.
I had lost my ability to holdit all together.

(09:10):
I knew I couldn't continue in away that I had been before, but
walking away was not going tobe easy.
I felt as though I was givingup on the passion I had built my
life around, and helpingchildren find opportunities for
a better future was something Iwas always going to be invested

(09:32):
in.
But here's the truth I couldn'tbe that person anymore.
I had to start thinking aboutmy own children's future in a
different way.
I had spent so many yearstaking on extra work to be able
to fund my household.
I was a single parent and Idecided that every decision I

(09:54):
made was making sure my childrenhad a comfortable future that I
really, truly wanted for them,and more than I had ever known.
But now I had to make sure thatI could be there for them in a
way that they needed me, and itwasn't just financially, but now
it was emotional and physical.
So I shifted my focus tostructure innovations.

(10:15):
I realized that I could stillhelp people grow and develop,
but I needed to do it on my ownterms.
I needed to create somethingthat allowed me to be present
for my family while stillpursuing my passion.
Letting go of the school systemand the role I had known for so
long wasn't just about a careerchange.

(10:36):
It was about finding a new wayto live that worked for me and
my children.
The struggle of letting go,letting go of my role as an
educator wasn't just a careerdecision.
It was a personal one.
My passion had always been inhelping children find

(10:56):
opportunities for their future,but the reality was that I
needed to ensure my own childrenhad those same opportunities,
and in order to continue to dothat, I had to let go of a
version of myself that I wasalways pushing, always
sacrificing and always puttingothers first.
It was one of the hardestthings I ever had to do, but it

(11:20):
was so very necessary.
Stepping away didn't mean thatI had to give up my passion.
It just meant that I was goingto have to find new ways of
expressing it.
I still coach, I still developothers, but I do it in a way
that allows me to now be presentfor my family.

(11:41):
Sometimes the hardest thing isletting go of the role that no
longer fits us, but doing soopens up a space for something
even more meaningful andsustainable.
Final thoughts this journey hasbeen about so much more than
stepping away from a role.
It's been about figuring outwho I am.

(12:03):
Outside of leadership, outsideof being an educator for others,
it's about making the hardchoices to prioritize my family
and my own wellness.
If there's anything I'velearned through all of this,
it's that sometimes the hardestdecision is the one that sets
you free.
Letting go doesn't mean givingup.

(12:24):
It means creating a space forsomething new, something better.
Take care of yourselves andremember you don't have to do it
all.
I'll see you next time.
Thank you so much for joiningme for today's episode.
To catch up on the rest of theseason, visit
structureandchaoticmindscom ortake a quick browse on your
current app to see whichepisodes resonate with you.

(12:46):
If you struggle with your ownmental wellness or even just
balancing life, we have a teamof individuals at our site who
can help?
You can visitstructureinnovationscom and find
a coach or mentor fit for you.
Thank you for joining me onceagain, melissa Franklin, on this
episode of Structuring ChaoticMinds.
Stay structured and smiling.