January 31, 2025 • 26 mins
Season Four of Structuring Chaotic Minds continues with heartfelt conversations designed to inspire resilience and transformation. In this episode, host Melissa Franklin sits down with Tracy Schmidt, a health and fertility coach who helps women overcome fertility struggles by focusing on holistic physical and mental health.
Tracy shares her deeply personal journey to parenthood—a path filled with emotional highs and lows as she and her husband navigated the difficulties of starting a family. When conventional treatments and professional advice failed, Tracy made a life-changing decision to prioritize her health as the key to achieving her dream. Her journey not only led to the joy of motherhood but also sparked a passion for guiding other women through their own fertility challenges.
Key Takeaways:
- The emotional rollercoaster of fertility struggles and its impact on mental health
- How prioritizing physical well-being can be transformative for fertility
- The importance of balancing self-care with external treatments
- Finding hope and empowerment on the path to parenthood
- Tracy’s journey to becoming a health and fertility coach and helping others heal
Whether you're navigating your own fertility journey or seeking inspiration to overcome life’s challenges, this episode offers empathy, guidance, and practical advice from someone who's been there.
Connect with Tracy:
Join us for this uplifting conversation on turning adversity into purpose and discovering new paths to joy and fulfillment.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Structuring Chaotic Minds, the
podcast where we turn the chaosof everyday challenges into
structured success.
I'm your host, melissa.
In each episode, we'll exploreinnovative strategies, real-life
stories and actionable insightsto help you navigate the
complexities of leadership,business and personal growth.
Whether you're an entrepreneur,a leader or someone striving
(00:21):
for personal development, thispodcast will give you the tools
to create clarity in the chaos.
Let's dive in what happens whenhope feels lost and the dream
of starting a family feelsimpossible.
Today, we're diving into adeeply personal and
transformative topic.
We're talking about fertilityissues and the path to
(00:44):
parenthood.
My guest today is Tracy Schmidt.
She knows this journeyintimately, not just as a coach,
but as someone who walked itherself.
Tracy works to empower couplesto be able to reclaim their
health, hope and the family thatthey've always desired.
We're going to be talking abouther story today and we're going
(01:05):
to be gaining from herexpertise and the family that
they've always desired.
We're going to be talking abouther story today and we're going
to be gaining from herexpertise and the incredible
resilience that turns chaos intonew beginnings.
Stay tuned.
It's a conversation you're notgoing to want to miss, tracy.
Welcome to Structuring ChaoticMinds.
I am so excited to have youhere today.
(01:26):
Your story of inspiring a blendof personal resilience and
professional passion is reallyexciting, and I cannot wait for
you to share it with everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Thank you so much, Melissa.
I'm so happy to be here to talkabout this important subject.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Before we dive in how are you and what's something
that you're most excited abouttoday?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Oh, I am doing well, thank you.
I am in the hustle and bustleof the holiday season, so, you
know, just trying to geteverything organized and make
sure I have everything I needfor Christmas Day.
But yeah, well, and what am Iexcited about is, I guess,
getting things done for theholidays.
(02:12):
I feel like I'm finally, eventhough I have a lot to do, I
know what I have to do and Ihave a plan for it.
So while I was freaking outearlier this week, I finally
have hit a place of calm.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So I feel like knowing what you have to do is
part of the battle, so that's agood point, all right.
Well, thinking about that,tracy, I'm excited.
Let's start talking about thisactual journey you've gone
through.
So thinking about it.
Being a fertility coachprobably didn't happen overnight
(02:43):
.
What made you start thisjourney?
Can you share a little bitabout what brought you here and
why this mission is so close toyour heart?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yes, so I, I studied to be a health coach, probably
about four or five years ago,and because I've always had a
passion for health and wellness,when I was younger I lost my
parents when I was 21 when myfather passed away, and 24 when
my mom passed away fromdebilitating diseases.
I just watched as their healthdeteriorated.
So in my early 20s I juststarted researching what I could
(03:18):
do to improve my health inorder to have a better quality
of life throughout all of myyears, to have a better quality
of life throughout all of myyears.
And yeah, it was just somethingthat just again just spurred my
curiosity, something I was verymuch interested in.
And then, you know, over theyears have had to tackle some
different, like you know, healthchallenges like acid reflux and
(03:39):
something and stuff like that,but nothing like really you know
crazy or tragic, but just somehealth struggles that I've used
my knowledge to overcome.
And then, when I was in my latethirties, I had gotten married.
My husband and I knew from whenwe were dating that we wanted
to have a family and when we gotmarried, we wanted, we knew we
(04:01):
wanted to start that familyright away, because we were
older and so forth, and I hadtrouble at that time with a
fibroid and was under the careof a doctor and so forth.
And, and looking back on myjourney, I I don't know why I
took this path, but as soon asthe you know, the doctor helped
me with my fibroid, she thenjust really just like to me with
(04:31):
my fibroid.
She then I just really justlike, not push me, but like,
move me graciously into theworld of fertility treatments.
And she's just like you're 39.
At this point, you know, youwant to have a family.
The thing that you should donext is start taking Clomid and,
you know, have the timedintercourse and all of that.
And I was just like, oh, ok, Iguess this is what people do,
(04:51):
but I'm going to, we're going todo that.
And then you know, six monthslater, no success.
And then she was like, ok, well, you're almost 40.
At this point, I'm not evengoing to, we're not, not even
going to recommend IUI for you,I'm recommending IVF.
So I was like, oh, okay, Iguess this is what people do.
(05:12):
I'm like I feel like I justdidn't even have a chance to try
on my own, like she just has megoing for this, this and this.
And IVF started that when I was40 and went through two cycles
of it and two frozen embryotransfers and unfortunately they
(05:33):
were not successful.
The first one ended in achemical pregnancy, then the
second one ended in amiscarriage, and so yeah'm 41 at
this point and you know, myhusband and I were just left
devastated because of it wassuch an emotional roller coaster
that unless you're really on, Idon't think you really
understand what happens.
(05:54):
And it was just, you know, Ijust felt like I was like just a
shell of myself after all ofthat and my husband and I.
My husband was like, all right,well, let's just try on our own
, like we had.
We had used up all of ourinsurance money at this point
and and he's like, let's justtry on our own.
(06:14):
And I was just like, okay,we'll try.
And and I did want to try forsure my doctor told me donor
eggs were my next viable option,so he wasn't even recommended
that I go for another round ofIVF.
So it's either donor eggs or wetry on our own.
So we ended up trying on ourown, but I really wasn't in the
(06:35):
right mental space to try on myown for a while.
My husband and I probably hadthis conversation in April, may
of 2018.
And it really wasn't until theend of the year that I was like,
okay, okay, I am starting tofeel better.
I ran into a friend at mycorporate job at the time and
(06:56):
she was a nurse and she's like,well, I don't remember how I
shared with her what I was goingthrough.
Like, looking back, I'm likewhen did I share this with her?
Why did I share with her that Iwas trying to get pregnant?
You know, because a lot ofpeople do keep it to themselves.
And I still remember her facetelling me well, you know, you
(07:17):
can improve your health and youcan get pregnant on your own.
And I literally remember herface and I was like, oh, my
goodness, really Like, and thatjust was like spurred me and
like, you know, back on my likeresearch health journey, I'm
like all right, and she gave mesome advice on what to do and so
(07:48):
forth.
And then it was like I don'tknow, I see, like, as January,
like it was December 1st,december 31st of January 1st
like something clicked, like itwas the new year, it was like
something within me clicked andI was like, oh my goodness, this
is a fresh start.
This is a fresh start on theyear.
This is a fresh start on myfertility journey.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I take what I learned , took what I learned from the
doctor and stuff that I learnedon my own, and I started
implementing new healthy waysand I was when I taught, I was
like full speed ahead, like noseto the ground.
I was going to figure this outand I did, and then I got
pregnant in February of thatyear.
(08:24):
So, yes, yes, so that is mystory in a nutshell and that is
why when I, when I startedpracticing health coaching,
deciding like who I wanted tohelp because, like I mentioned,
I had stomach issues- in thepast.
at first I you know I washelping women with that, but
then I was like then I realizedI'm like this journey was so
(08:48):
profound on my life and had somany impacts to not just, you
know, the husband and I in ourfuture, but like what I was
going through on a day-to-daybasis my job, my relationship
with my friends, my relationshipwith my friends, my
relationship with my husbandlike and just had like a ripple
effect that I just really feeldeeply that I want to help women
(09:12):
and couples who are goingthrough this journey.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
You focus on improving egg health now and
balancing hormones, reducingtoxicity, but I know mental
health and emotional health arealso equally important.
How do you integrate both ofthose aspects into your coaching
today?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yes, that's great.
So my coaching I work with womenfor six months at least and we
meet on a weekly basis and whenwe go through, like I go through
a plan to improve health at thecellular level, to bring things
into balance and to removetoxins and so forth.
(09:57):
But really a key part of thecoaching is the mental health
aspect of it, because I knewlike that was a huge part of my
journey too, knew like that wasa huge part of my journey too,
and after you've been trying toget pregnant for years and it
hasn't worked, your mentalhealth has really taken a
nosedive and you're not sure ifthis is going to happen for you,
(10:20):
why this is happening to you,and so forth.
So everyone deals with it,everyone has different
circumstances, but it allresults really in the.
You really have to have thatthe positive mental health,
(10:54):
mental aspect of it in order tomove forward and believe that
this is going to happen for youhave that hope that this is
going to happen for you.
So, yeah, and you know it takestime, but but working together
weekly and and unpacking all ofthis, you know what's happened
in the past, but also what'shappening happening currently
too and and you know, producing,producing strategies in order
(11:19):
to handle day-to-day situations,and so forth.
So mental health is is a keypart of it.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Well that, Thinking about couples who feel like
they've already tried all thatand they've tried everything, I
love that you pointed out hope.
What's your message?
To help them and find hopeagain.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah.
So what I like to tell myclients and others is, you know,
just because it hasn't happenedyet yet doesn't mean it's not
going to happen, and I like touse the word yet a lot.
I haven't gotten pregnant yet.
You know, it doesn't mean it'snot going to happen.
(12:03):
Like, I am a Christian and Ibelieve in God and timing and
his timing and everything too,and sometimes it's just, you
know, submitting to him and whathe wants and he is our hope, my
hope, you know, and looking tohim for that guidance and so
forth.
And that spirituality was ahuge part of my journey as well.
(12:25):
Journey as well and findinghope in God and what he has
promised and laid on my heart.
That just because it hasn'thappened in my timing or when I
wanted it to, doesn't mean thatit's not going to happen.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Let's dive deeper, then, into mental wellness and
breaking stigmas, for fertilitystruggles.
They're not just physical, Imean, we're talking about it.
They're mental, they'reemotional.
What are some of the biggestmental health challenges that
your clients end up facing, andhow do you help them navigate
those?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
So, yeah, so mental health, I would say them really
feeling like they're not enough.
You know, as women we arebrought up, you know we're young
, we're girls, we play babies,we play house.
(13:24):
You know we have that, thatdream of maybe not everyone, but
becoming a mom.
And you know that's what wewere designed for, that's what
our bodies were.
And when that doesn't happen,sometimes it's like the feeling
of inadequacy or, yes, broken.
Not feeling enough isdebilitating, is debilitating.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I felt that with what you just said, because you were
saying something and youpointed out not everybody, but
you said growing up, you playhouse, you do those things.
I wasn't that little girl, Iwasn't.
He's really tomboy.
I played in the dirt.
I would put on a backpack andpretend like I was walking into
(14:11):
an auditorium because my dreamwas to go to college and that's
what I aspired when I was little.
But I graduated super early.
I wanted to get out there.
I was in college at 17.
When I got told by a doctor itlooks like you're not going to
be able to have kids past 23.
And maybe it was themasculinity, the misogyny, I
(14:36):
don't know.
But the comment was you're ayoung woman.
If you don't have children now,then you'll never be good for
anything.
And that, to come from a doctor, was just like oh, all of a
sudden I wanted to get marriedand have children.
And I was trying to grow intothis sunset to say that I wasn't
(14:57):
broken.
And it's such a weird thingbecause it made such a shift and
you pointed out when you saidthat, and it's not wrong, it's
not the same way for everybodyand it's not wrong, it's not the
same way for everybody.
But the moment that gets takenaway from you, how broken and
inadequate I'm so sure manyother women feel too, because I
(15:18):
have definitely experienced itmyself.
Breaking stigmas, thenfertility struggles can be so
isolating because the stigmasurrounding them and we don't
talk about them.
How do you start to break thosebarriers in our communities?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
That's great, that's a great question and I think you
know just little by little, youknow as when going through it,
knowing and working to improve.
You know working on your mentalhealth too.
So where you feel comfortabletalking to others about it, you
(16:02):
know that's as someone goingthrough it.
But also I think you know aspractitioners we need to do a
better job as well as gettingout there in the communities and
letting people know like thisis normal.
This is unfortunately becomingmore normal, like before it was
one in eight couples wouldsuffer with infertility.
Now it's one in six and, yes,it's just becoming more
(16:24):
prevalent, more prevalent.
And I think, yes, as you knowagain, we have we have to do a
better job of getting out thereand talking about it more and
letting people know when you dofeel that inadequate, broken
feeling you tend to, you want tobe isolated, you don't want to
talk about it and open up.
You know could be a veryfearful to do so, but yeah, I
(16:47):
think the more we do open up andyou shed the light on the
darkness, it number one it makesyou start to feel better too as
someone going through it, andthen as practitioners, we just
help others go through it a lotof people will struggle with
infertility, especially when itcomes to faith and their
(17:10):
different religious beliefs aswell.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Your faith definitely plays a big role, though, in
your life and your work.
How does it shape the way thatyou approach coaching and
connect with your clients?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, so I believe that this is the work that God
placed on me to help others, tohelp his children, and it really
feels purposeful for me, youknow, and it just feels like
this is something I should bedoing.
So so, yeah, this it just likemotivates me to get out and to
(17:46):
reach more women and couples whoare going through this.
You know, bring as best as Ican like my faith into the
coaching as well, to help giveothers.
You know the hope that that Ihave experienced through this.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
That hope and faith definitely leads us over to our
next section, where we're goingto talk about life, family and
balance.
So let's start with family life.
You're a mom to two amazingdaughters.
You have peyton and sammy.
You've built a life focused onconnection and activity.
How does your own familyinspire and ground you in the
work that you do?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Yeah, it's amazing.
Being a mom, yes, ischallenging, and you know,
especially when you have youngerkids.
Well, I think any age being amom is challenging, as I'm
learning from my friends whohave older children.
But it's funny because as theygrow up, like I look at them and
I'm like, oh my goodness, likeI've wanted you, like I prayed
for you, I worked so hard tohave you and now you're here.
(18:49):
You know, my oldest just turnedfive and I remember I think it
was like last night or the nightbefore just watching her move
around through the kitchen andher little high heel, little,
little tiny heel on them but shethinks she calls them high
heels and and, um, they makethat noise on the, you know, on
(19:10):
the floor and stuff.
And she's just watching herwalk through, like she is like
like I have these cool shoes andgoing to help her sister do
something, or you know, and I'mjust like, oh my goodness, like
you are amazing.
So I just am in awe of my kidssometimes and know how again it
(19:33):
just, it just like brings meback to my journey and how much
I you know how I tried to havethem and struggle so hard.
So, um, yeah, it just uhgrounds me that others are
wanting this, and if I can helpthem through it, then again it
goes back to my purpose andfulfilling them.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
That is definitely a blessing.
One of the things we like toinspire our clients to do is
find balance and accept thatbalance comes with chaos, and
the reality is we're all sittingon a little balance, but in
order to be effective, we haveto accept that there's give and
take.
So it's balancing chaos for ourlisteners who are balancing
(20:19):
personal challenges, especiallywith their professional goals.
What piece of advice would yougive to them to stay resilient
and hopeful?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
what piece of advice would you give to them to stay
resilient and hopeful?
Yeah, so I think it.
Like it all comes back tomindset as well, too, and
realizing, yes, there's eachstage of our lives is going to
be busy and it's managing thatbusyness and managing what's
going on in our brains, you know, and that's why I think
(20:50):
coaching, you know, has helpedme so much to realize it.
Like, for example, you know,when I'm late or rushing, my
brain like tends to like go onoverdrive, like, oh my goodness,
I have to get this, I have todo this, I have to do this, like
don't forget this, oh, mygoodness, you know, in those
I've learned to like, it's whenthose moments happen I'm trying
(21:15):
to rush, so I'm not late, or toremember things, but it's a, you
know, taking a step back to say, all right, what can I do ahead
of time to help prepare myselffor those moments?
And then, knowing that the thestory that's going on in my head
is only creating more chaos, so, to manage that as well, and it
(21:39):
doesn't matter how fast I go IfI think I'm, like, you know,
going like Speedy Gonzalez here,I'm really not saving myself
any time here, I'm really notsaving myself any time, like I'm
not saving five minutes, I'mnot saving like maybe probably
not even saving one minute, butI'm just adding to the chaos.
So, accepting that it is there,being able to plan ahead as
(22:01):
best as possible, but when itdoes happen, is saying taking a
breather, saying it's okay, wewill get through this, I'll
figure out the best way forward.
And I also like to assesscertain things and I'm like all
right, if something doesn'thappen, what's the worst that
can happen?
Yes, so I run that through mybrain as well and yeah, exactly,
(22:27):
exactly that's how I handle myanxiety yes, worst case scenario
question all right, let's moveto our rapid fire round.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I want to shift gears and have a little bit of fun,
so the first thing that comes tomind, just go ahead and answer
it.
What's one health tip everyoneshould know?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
one health tip is that you can impact your health
by what you eat, what you feedyour mind, your spirit as well.
We are whole beings mind, bodyand soul so you do have power
over your health.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Best piece of advice you ever received.
I would say how like againgoing back to my nurse friend
who told me that I can improvemy health to get pregnant on my
own, and she just reallyempowered me to move forward and
that changed my life.
Changed my life.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Those aha moments.
Last one what's your favoriteway to recharge after a long day
?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I like to be by myself, I like to sit quietly.
I'm not a big like, I like TV,but I don't like a lot of the
noise sometimes.
So especially this is a greatquestion.
For these past few weeks I'vejust, at the end of the day,
would just sit in my living roomand by myself, collect my
(23:59):
thoughts for the day, wind down,write out a list for things I
need to do tomorrow or you knowthings I don't.
Write out a list for things Ineed to do tomorrow, or you know
things I don't.
So I don't forget and I can goto bed with a clear mind and not
not worrying about certainthings.
But but yeah, I'm, I'm one whojust likes to recharge by myself
(24:22):
and then sometimes do a yoga,like a nighttime yoga practice,
before bed as well.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
I love that For our listeners who might be on their
own fertility journey or knowsomeone who is.
Where can they connect with youand learn more about your
coaching?
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Yes, so I can be found on Facebook and Instagram
at Tracy Schmidt hyphen, healthybeginnings, and I can give you
those exact handles and yes, andor through email.
But yes, I can give you myhandle, so they can.
So anyone can you know, reachout, send me a, send me a
message, you know, and check outmy, my content to, to see what
(25:02):
resonates and and what helps youalong your journey.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
We will be sure to be sharing that in the show notes.
So anything other advice ortips you want to add as well, we
will be sharing that foreverybody.
So if you guys didn'tunderstand how to spell
something or you're a littlethrown off by what the handles
are, go ahead and check the shownotes.
So at Structuring Chaotic Minds, we aim to empower people to
really navigate that chaos,accept it but really thrive.
(25:27):
Your work is such a powerfulexample of that, especially when
it comes to fertility.
So, tracy, thank you so muchfor sharing your journey and
your expertise with us today,for our listeners.
Remember that no matter howchaotic life feels, hope and
structure can always find lightand the way forward.
Thank you for joining us andwe'll see you next time.
Light and the way forward.
(25:48):
Thank you for joining us andwe'll see you next time.
Thank you for tuning intoStructuring Chaotic Minds.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, don't forget to
subscribe, share and leave areview.
Remember the key to success isnot avoiding chaos but learning
how to structure it.
Stay inspired, keep growing andjoin me next time as we
continue to transform challengesinto opportunities.
Until then, take care and keepstructuring your chaotic mind.
Welcome to Structuring Chaotic Minds, the
podcast where we turn the chaosof everyday challenges into
structured success.
I'm your host, melissa.
In each episode, we'll exploreinnovative strategies, real-life
stories and actionable insightsto help you navigate the
complexities of leadership,business and personal growth.
Whether you're an entrepreneur,a leader or someone striving
(00:21):
for personal development, thispodcast will give you the tools
to create clarity in the chaos.
Let's dive in what happens whenhope feels lost and the dream
of starting a family feelsimpossible.
Today, we're diving into adeeply personal and
transformative topic.
We're talking about fertilityissues and the path to
(00:44):
parenthood.
My guest today is Tracy Schmidt.
She knows this journeyintimately, not just as a coach,
but as someone who walked itherself.
Tracy works to empower couplesto be able to reclaim their
health, hope and the family thatthey've always desired.
We're going to be talking abouther story today and we're going
(01:05):
to be gaining from herexpertise and the family that
they've always desired.
We're going to be talking abouther story today and we're going
to be gaining from herexpertise and the incredible
resilience that turns chaos intonew beginnings.
Stay tuned.
It's a conversation you're notgoing to want to miss, tracy.
Welcome to Structuring ChaoticMinds.
I am so excited to have youhere today.
(01:26):
Your story of inspiring a blendof personal resilience and
professional passion is reallyexciting, and I cannot wait for
you to share it with everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Thank you so much, Melissa.
I'm so happy to be here to talkabout this important subject.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Before we dive in how are you and what's something
that you're most excited abouttoday?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Oh, I am doing well, thank you.
I am in the hustle and bustleof the holiday season, so, you
know, just trying to geteverything organized and make
sure I have everything I needfor Christmas Day.
But yeah, well, and what am Iexcited about is, I guess,
getting things done for theholidays.
(02:12):
I feel like I'm finally, eventhough I have a lot to do, I
know what I have to do and Ihave a plan for it.
So while I was freaking outearlier this week, I finally
have hit a place of calm.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So I feel like knowing what you have to do is
part of the battle, so that's agood point, all right.
Well, thinking about that,tracy, I'm excited.
Let's start talking about thisactual journey you've gone
through.
So thinking about it.
Being a fertility coachprobably didn't happen overnight
(02:43):
.
What made you start thisjourney?
Can you share a little bitabout what brought you here and
why this mission is so close toyour heart?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yes, so I, I studied to be a health coach, probably
about four or five years ago,and because I've always had a
passion for health and wellness,when I was younger I lost my
parents when I was 21 when myfather passed away, and 24 when
my mom passed away fromdebilitating diseases.
I just watched as their healthdeteriorated.
So in my early 20s I juststarted researching what I could
(03:18):
do to improve my health inorder to have a better quality
of life throughout all of myyears, to have a better quality
of life throughout all of myyears.
And yeah, it was just somethingthat just again just spurred my
curiosity, something I was verymuch interested in.
And then, you know, over theyears have had to tackle some
different, like you know, healthchallenges like acid reflux and
(03:39):
something and stuff like that,but nothing like really you know
crazy or tragic, but just somehealth struggles that I've used
my knowledge to overcome.
And then, when I was in my latethirties, I had gotten married.
My husband and I knew from whenwe were dating that we wanted
to have a family and when we gotmarried, we wanted, we knew we
(04:01):
wanted to start that familyright away, because we were
older and so forth, and I hadtrouble at that time with a
fibroid and was under the careof a doctor and so forth.
And, and looking back on myjourney, I I don't know why I
took this path, but as soon asthe you know, the doctor helped
me with my fibroid, she thenjust really just like to me with
(04:31):
my fibroid.
She then I just really justlike, not push me, but like,
move me graciously into theworld of fertility treatments.
And she's just like you're 39.
At this point, you know, youwant to have a family.
The thing that you should donext is start taking Clomid and,
you know, have the timedintercourse and all of that.
And I was just like, oh, ok, Iguess this is what people do,
(04:51):
but I'm going to, we're going todo that.
And then you know, six monthslater, no success.
And then she was like, ok, well, you're almost 40.
At this point, I'm not evengoing to, we're not, not even
going to recommend IUI for you,I'm recommending IVF.
So I was like, oh, okay, Iguess this is what people do.
(05:12):
I'm like I feel like I justdidn't even have a chance to try
on my own, like she just has megoing for this, this and this.
And IVF started that when I was40 and went through two cycles
of it and two frozen embryotransfers and unfortunately they
(05:33):
were not successful.
The first one ended in achemical pregnancy, then the
second one ended in amiscarriage, and so yeah'm 41 at
this point and you know, myhusband and I were just left
devastated because of it wassuch an emotional roller coaster
that unless you're really on, Idon't think you really
understand what happens.
(05:54):
And it was just, you know, Ijust felt like I was like just a
shell of myself after all ofthat and my husband and I.
My husband was like, all right,well, let's just try on our own
, like we had.
We had used up all of ourinsurance money at this point
and and he's like, let's justtry on our own.
(06:14):
And I was just like, okay,we'll try.
And and I did want to try forsure my doctor told me donor
eggs were my next viable option,so he wasn't even recommended
that I go for another round ofIVF.
So it's either donor eggs or wetry on our own.
So we ended up trying on ourown, but I really wasn't in the
(06:35):
right mental space to try on myown for a while.
My husband and I probably hadthis conversation in April, may
of 2018.
And it really wasn't until theend of the year that I was like,
okay, okay, I am starting tofeel better.
I ran into a friend at mycorporate job at the time and
(06:56):
she was a nurse and she's like,well, I don't remember how I
shared with her what I was goingthrough.
Like, looking back, I'm likewhen did I share this with her?
Why did I share with her that Iwas trying to get pregnant?
You know, because a lot ofpeople do keep it to themselves.
And I still remember her facetelling me well, you know, you
(07:17):
can improve your health and youcan get pregnant on your own.
And I literally remember herface and I was like, oh, my
goodness, really Like, and thatjust was like spurred me and
like, you know, back on my likeresearch health journey, I'm
like all right, and she gave mesome advice on what to do and so
(07:48):
forth.
And then it was like I don'tknow, I see, like, as January,
like it was December 1st,december 31st of January 1st
like something clicked, like itwas the new year, it was like
something within me clicked andI was like, oh my goodness, this
is a fresh start.
This is a fresh start on theyear.
This is a fresh start on myfertility journey.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I take what I learned , took what I learned from the
doctor and stuff that I learnedon my own, and I started
implementing new healthy waysand I was when I taught, I was
like full speed ahead, like noseto the ground.
I was going to figure this outand I did, and then I got
pregnant in February of thatyear.
(08:24):
So, yes, yes, so that is mystory in a nutshell and that is
why when I, when I startedpracticing health coaching,
deciding like who I wanted tohelp because, like I mentioned,
I had stomach issues- in thepast.
at first I you know I washelping women with that, but
then I was like then I realizedI'm like this journey was so
(08:48):
profound on my life and had somany impacts to not just, you
know, the husband and I in ourfuture, but like what I was
going through on a day-to-daybasis my job, my relationship
with my friends, my relationshipwith my friends, my
relationship with my husbandlike and just had like a ripple
effect that I just really feeldeeply that I want to help women
(09:12):
and couples who are goingthrough this journey.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
You focus on improving egg health now and
balancing hormones, reducingtoxicity, but I know mental
health and emotional health arealso equally important.
How do you integrate both ofthose aspects into your coaching
today?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yes, that's great.
So my coaching I work with womenfor six months at least and we
meet on a weekly basis and whenwe go through, like I go through
a plan to improve health at thecellular level, to bring things
into balance and to removetoxins and so forth.
(09:57):
But really a key part of thecoaching is the mental health
aspect of it, because I knewlike that was a huge part of my
journey too, knew like that wasa huge part of my journey too,
and after you've been trying toget pregnant for years and it
hasn't worked, your mentalhealth has really taken a
nosedive and you're not sure ifthis is going to happen for you,
(10:20):
why this is happening to you,and so forth.
So everyone deals with it,everyone has different
circumstances, but it allresults really in the.
You really have to have thatthe positive mental health,
(10:54):
mental aspect of it in order tomove forward and believe that
this is going to happen for youhave that hope that this is
going to happen for you.
So, yeah, and you know it takestime, but but working together
weekly and and unpacking all ofthis, you know what's happened
in the past, but also what'shappening happening currently
too and and you know, producing,producing strategies in order
(11:19):
to handle day-to-day situations,and so forth.
So mental health is is a keypart of it.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Well that, Thinking about couples who feel like
they've already tried all thatand they've tried everything, I
love that you pointed out hope.
What's your message?
To help them and find hopeagain.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah.
So what I like to tell myclients and others is, you know,
just because it hasn't happenedyet yet doesn't mean it's not
going to happen, and I like touse the word yet a lot.
I haven't gotten pregnant yet.
You know, it doesn't mean it'snot going to happen.
(12:03):
Like, I am a Christian and Ibelieve in God and timing and
his timing and everything too,and sometimes it's just, you
know, submitting to him and whathe wants and he is our hope, my
hope, you know, and looking tohim for that guidance and so
forth.
And that spirituality was ahuge part of my journey as well.
(12:25):
Journey as well and findinghope in God and what he has
promised and laid on my heart.
That just because it hasn'thappened in my timing or when I
wanted it to, doesn't mean thatit's not going to happen.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Let's dive deeper, then, into mental wellness and
breaking stigmas, for fertilitystruggles.
They're not just physical, Imean, we're talking about it.
They're mental, they'reemotional.
What are some of the biggestmental health challenges that
your clients end up facing, andhow do you help them navigate
those?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
So, yeah, so mental health, I would say them really
feeling like they're not enough.
You know, as women we arebrought up, you know we're young
, we're girls, we play babies,we play house.
(13:24):
You know we have that, thatdream of maybe not everyone, but
becoming a mom.
And you know that's what wewere designed for, that's what
our bodies were.
And when that doesn't happen,sometimes it's like the feeling
of inadequacy or, yes, broken.
Not feeling enough isdebilitating, is debilitating.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I felt that with what you just said, because you were
saying something and youpointed out not everybody, but
you said growing up, you playhouse, you do those things.
I wasn't that little girl, Iwasn't.
He's really tomboy.
I played in the dirt.
I would put on a backpack andpretend like I was walking into
(14:11):
an auditorium because my dreamwas to go to college and that's
what I aspired when I was little.
But I graduated super early.
I wanted to get out there.
I was in college at 17.
When I got told by a doctor itlooks like you're not going to
be able to have kids past 23.
And maybe it was themasculinity, the misogyny, I
(14:36):
don't know.
But the comment was you're ayoung woman.
If you don't have children now,then you'll never be good for
anything.
And that, to come from a doctor, was just like oh, all of a
sudden I wanted to get marriedand have children.
And I was trying to grow intothis sunset to say that I wasn't
(14:57):
broken.
And it's such a weird thingbecause it made such a shift and
you pointed out when you saidthat, and it's not wrong, it's
not the same way for everybodyand it's not wrong, it's not the
same way for everybody.
But the moment that gets takenaway from you, how broken and
inadequate I'm so sure manyother women feel too, because I
(15:18):
have definitely experienced itmyself.
Breaking stigmas, thenfertility struggles can be so
isolating because the stigmasurrounding them and we don't
talk about them.
How do you start to break thosebarriers in our communities?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
That's great, that's a great question and I think you
know just little by little, youknow as when going through it,
knowing and working to improve.
You know working on your mentalhealth too.
So where you feel comfortabletalking to others about it, you
(16:02):
know that's as someone goingthrough it.
But also I think you know aspractitioners we need to do a
better job as well as gettingout there in the communities and
letting people know like thisis normal.
This is unfortunately becomingmore normal, like before it was
one in eight couples wouldsuffer with infertility.
Now it's one in six and, yes,it's just becoming more
(16:24):
prevalent, more prevalent.
And I think, yes, as you knowagain, we have we have to do a
better job of getting out thereand talking about it more and
letting people know when you dofeel that inadequate, broken
feeling you tend to, you want tobe isolated, you don't want to
talk about it and open up.
You know could be a veryfearful to do so, but yeah, I
(16:47):
think the more we do open up andyou shed the light on the
darkness, it number one it makesyou start to feel better too as
someone going through it, andthen as practitioners, we just
help others go through it a lotof people will struggle with
infertility, especially when itcomes to faith and their
(17:10):
different religious beliefs aswell.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Your faith definitely plays a big role, though, in
your life and your work.
How does it shape the way thatyou approach coaching and
connect with your clients?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, so I believe that this is the work that God
placed on me to help others, tohelp his children, and it really
feels purposeful for me, youknow, and it just feels like
this is something I should bedoing.
So so, yeah, this it just likemotivates me to get out and to
(17:46):
reach more women and couples whoare going through this.
You know, bring as best as Ican like my faith into the
coaching as well, to help giveothers.
You know the hope that that Ihave experienced through this.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
That hope and faith definitely leads us over to our
next section, where we're goingto talk about life, family and
balance.
So let's start with family life.
You're a mom to two amazingdaughters.
You have peyton and sammy.
You've built a life focused onconnection and activity.
How does your own familyinspire and ground you in the
work that you do?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Yeah, it's amazing.
Being a mom, yes, ischallenging, and you know,
especially when you have youngerkids.
Well, I think any age being amom is challenging, as I'm
learning from my friends whohave older children.
But it's funny because as theygrow up, like I look at them and
I'm like, oh my goodness, likeI've wanted you, like I prayed
for you, I worked so hard tohave you and now you're here.
(18:49):
You know, my oldest just turnedfive and I remember I think it
was like last night or the nightbefore just watching her move
around through the kitchen andher little high heel, little,
little tiny heel on them but shethinks she calls them high
heels and and, um, they makethat noise on the, you know, on
(19:10):
the floor and stuff.
And she's just watching herwalk through, like she is like
like I have these cool shoes andgoing to help her sister do
something, or you know, and I'mjust like, oh my goodness, like
you are amazing.
So I just am in awe of my kidssometimes and know how again it
(19:33):
just, it just like brings meback to my journey and how much
I you know how I tried to havethem and struggle so hard.
So, um, yeah, it just uhgrounds me that others are
wanting this, and if I can helpthem through it, then again it
goes back to my purpose andfulfilling them.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
That is definitely a blessing.
One of the things we like toinspire our clients to do is
find balance and accept thatbalance comes with chaos, and
the reality is we're all sittingon a little balance, but in
order to be effective, we haveto accept that there's give and
take.
So it's balancing chaos for ourlisteners who are balancing
(20:19):
personal challenges, especiallywith their professional goals.
What piece of advice would yougive to them to stay resilient
and hopeful?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
what piece of advice would you give to them to stay
resilient and hopeful?
Yeah, so I think it.
Like it all comes back tomindset as well, too, and
realizing, yes, there's eachstage of our lives is going to
be busy and it's managing thatbusyness and managing what's
going on in our brains, you know, and that's why I think
(20:50):
coaching, you know, has helpedme so much to realize it.
Like, for example, you know,when I'm late or rushing, my
brain like tends to like go onoverdrive, like, oh my goodness,
I have to get this, I have todo this, I have to do this, like
don't forget this, oh, mygoodness, you know, in those
I've learned to like, it's whenthose moments happen I'm trying
(21:15):
to rush, so I'm not late, or toremember things, but it's a, you
know, taking a step back to say, all right, what can I do ahead
of time to help prepare myselffor those moments?
And then, knowing that the thestory that's going on in my head
is only creating more chaos, so, to manage that as well, and it
(21:39):
doesn't matter how fast I go IfI think I'm, like, you know,
going like Speedy Gonzalez here,I'm really not saving myself
any time here, I'm really notsaving myself any time, like I'm
not saving five minutes, I'mnot saving like maybe probably
not even saving one minute, butI'm just adding to the chaos.
So, accepting that it is there,being able to plan ahead as
(22:01):
best as possible, but when itdoes happen, is saying taking a
breather, saying it's okay, wewill get through this, I'll
figure out the best way forward.
And I also like to assesscertain things and I'm like all
right, if something doesn'thappen, what's the worst that
can happen?
Yes, so I run that through mybrain as well and yeah, exactly,
(22:27):
exactly that's how I handle myanxiety yes, worst case scenario
question all right, let's moveto our rapid fire round.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I want to shift gears and have a little bit of fun,
so the first thing that comes tomind, just go ahead and answer
it.
What's one health tip everyoneshould know?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
one health tip is that you can impact your health
by what you eat, what you feedyour mind, your spirit as well.
We are whole beings mind, bodyand soul so you do have power
over your health.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Best piece of advice you ever received.
I would say how like againgoing back to my nurse friend
who told me that I can improvemy health to get pregnant on my
own, and she just reallyempowered me to move forward and
that changed my life.
Changed my life.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Those aha moments.
Last one what's your favoriteway to recharge after a long day
?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I like to be by myself, I like to sit quietly.
I'm not a big like, I like TV,but I don't like a lot of the
noise sometimes.
So especially this is a greatquestion.
For these past few weeks I'vejust, at the end of the day,
would just sit in my living roomand by myself, collect my
(23:59):
thoughts for the day, wind down,write out a list for things I
need to do tomorrow or you knowthings I don't.
Write out a list for things Ineed to do tomorrow, or you know
things I don't.
So I don't forget and I can goto bed with a clear mind and not
not worrying about certainthings.
But but yeah, I'm, I'm one whojust likes to recharge by myself
(24:22):
and then sometimes do a yoga,like a nighttime yoga practice,
before bed as well.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
I love that For our listeners who might be on their
own fertility journey or knowsomeone who is.
Where can they connect with youand learn more about your
coaching?
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Yes, so I can be found on Facebook and Instagram
at Tracy Schmidt hyphen, healthybeginnings, and I can give you
those exact handles and yes, andor through email.
But yes, I can give you myhandle, so they can.
So anyone can you know, reachout, send me a, send me a
message, you know, and check outmy, my content to, to see what
(25:02):
resonates and and what helps youalong your journey.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
We will be sure to be sharing that in the show notes.
So anything other advice ortips you want to add as well, we
will be sharing that foreverybody.
So if you guys didn'tunderstand how to spell
something or you're a littlethrown off by what the handles
are, go ahead and check the shownotes.
So at Structuring Chaotic Minds, we aim to empower people to
really navigate that chaos,accept it but really thrive.
(25:27):
Your work is such a powerfulexample of that, especially when
it comes to fertility.
So, tracy, thank you so muchfor sharing your journey and
your expertise with us today,for our listeners.
Remember that no matter howchaotic life feels, hope and
structure can always find lightand the way forward.
Thank you for joining us andwe'll see you next time.
Light and the way forward.
(25:48):
Thank you for joining us andwe'll see you next time.
Thank you for tuning intoStructuring Chaotic Minds.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, don't forget to
subscribe, share and leave areview.
Remember the key to success isnot avoiding chaos but learning
how to structure it.
Stay inspired, keep growing andjoin me next time as we
continue to transform challengesinto opportunities.
Until then, take care and keepstructuring your chaotic mind.
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