September 26, 2024 • 44 mins
What if a single moment in third grade could change the entire trajectory of your life? In this episode of "Structuring Chaotic Minds," we're joined by Leonard Dixon Jr., a powerhouse public speaker, youth mentor, and the heart behind LDJ Inspires. Leonard opens up about his rocky start in life, detailing behavioral issues that nearly led to his expulsion. It was the unwavering belief of his school principal and superintendent that shifted his path, teaching us the invaluable lesson that sometimes all it takes is one person to believe in you.
Get ready to uncover the layers of mental toughness and emotional strength as Leonard shares raw, personal stories from his football career. He emphasizes the importance of transparency about past mistakes, advocating for honesty to guide younger generations toward better decisions. Leonard's journey, bolstered by strong family support, is a testament to resilience and the relentless pursuit of dreams. Football wasn't just a sport for him; it was a crucible for life lessons that now fuel his mission to inspire and uplift youth through speaking and mentorship.
What if discovering your purpose could fill the void left by the pursuit of fame? Leonard dives into the profound impact of unlocking one's true purpose, stressing that it’s often tied to something greater than oneself. He shares how connection and community support have been pivotal in his journey, offering actionable insights for those looking to find clarity amidst chaos. With a focus on emotional growth and the transformative power of coaching, this episode is a must-listen for anyone committed to personal development and making a lasting impact. Don't miss Leonard's powerful story of resilience, reflection, and the drive to empower others.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Structuring Chaotic Minds, the
podcast where we turn the chaosof everyday challenges into
structured success.
I'm your host, melissa.
In each episode, we'll exploreinnovative strategies, real-life
stories and actionable insightsto help you navigate the
complexities of leadership,business and personal growth.
Whether you're an entrepreneur,a leader or someone striving
(00:21):
for personal development, thispodcast will give you the tools
to create clarity in the chaos.
Let's dive in.
Welcome to Structuring ChaoticMinds, and today we have a truly
inspiring guest.
His name is Leonard Dixon Jr.
Leonard is not only a publicspeaker, but he's also a youth
mentor and the founder of LDJInspires.
He's on a mission to empowerthe next generation to unlock
(00:42):
their potential.
He's on a mission to empowerthe next generation to unlock
their potential.
Leonard, thank you for beinghere today.
I am so excited to dive intoyour story and your work.
Thank you for having me.
So, before we get started,leonard, I want to go ahead and
dive into Leonard's journeydiscovering purpose through
adversity.
You've mentioned it before.
You're well known for yourvoice when it comes to
(01:02):
resilience and purpose.
We see it online it before.
You're well known for yourvoice when it comes to
resilience and purpose.
We see it online.
But before we get into all ofthat.
You faced challenges on yourown growing up.
Can you share a little bitabout what your childhood was
like and how those experiencesshaped your mission today?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yes, my childhood was , I mean, very interesting.
I'm from a small town, lakeCity, florida.
I'm a we call it a PK, but I'ma preacher's kid.
So as I was growing up, I was avery curious kid.
As my mom used to say she don'tnever like to call a kid bad
but I was just very curious andif you gave me too much time I
(01:42):
was going to try to find somekind of way to utilize that time
, whether it was being the classclown or just, you know, just
really trying to get a laugh outof the classroom.
But I think my turning momentin my life was when I was in
third grade.
I had been having behaviorissues and I was in and out of
the office and the principalhe's, you know, back when we,
(02:02):
you know, paddling was a thinghe would bring me they wouldn't
do it with us.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I think towards the end of elementary.
It was still there.
You're not wrong.
Keep going, keep going yeah,yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
well, yeah, it was, it was it.
It's a.
It's not a thing now, but, uh,it hurt, it hurt.
I remember the first day it was, I walked and I was like I
heard a kid.
He got paddled and he walkedout with like tears and I was
like I don't know if I could dothis, but, um, I had to.
You know, that was theconsequences of getting
write-ups.
And, um, I remember had gottento a point where I had to speak
(02:36):
to the superintendent of schoolsand he, I'll never forget, um,
I remember getting called overthe intercom to go to the
principal's office.
I was like man, what have I donenow?
Yeah, I don't think I got anyright, and all the kids in the
class like, oh, you're introuble.
And so I walk into the officeand I notice this bald headed
(02:58):
guy.
He's dressed to the T's,dressed up.
He's sitting on my principal'sdesk, to the T's dressed up.
He's sitting on my principal'sdesk, my principal's there, my
parents are there and I justremember walking in.
I'm like, yeah, you did it thistime, buddy.
And so I walk in and they have aconversation about my write-ups
and my behavior and he saysyoung man, I can expel you from
(03:20):
every school in this county.
But because that man rightthere he was pointing at my
principal he said he believesthat you could change.
So I believe that you couldchange.
So we're going to send you homefor the last day of school,
which was that was devastating.
You know?
Cupcakes, cookies, fun Fridaywhat kid would not want to enjoy
that?
But unfortunately I had to payfor the consequences of my
(03:40):
actions and that, right therethere, I can't, I'll never
forget.
I just came back and I said youknow what next year is going to
be better?
Um, but it was really just thefact that my principal believed
in and because he believed in me, he challenged me to know what
grade was this?
what grade was this?
This was third grade.
Yeah, this was third grade.
(04:02):
I was like me.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
No, braden had messed up so bad and I mean so bad.
Um, teachers just stoppedpaying attention to him when he
would cry and they're likethat's nice.
So this one time he workedextra hard for this pencil it
was a ninja turtle pencil.
Oh yeah, expected that pencilman.
You could have thought he gotrobbed, like no.
(04:26):
And he did not quite recoverfrom that and it was third grade
and I was like, yeah, I can seethat, I can see that.
So a third grader, that isdefinitely powerful.
I think it's funny how much itdoes influence us when somebody
who we look up to believes in us.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Absolutely so, go ahead.
Us, when somebody who we lookup to believes in us, absolutely
so, go ahead.
I was just saying it was justjust looking back at that time
how things changed so much andhow things could have, you know,
been very bad and veryinconvenient for my parents.
And I remember he him tellingme.
He was like do you, do you notrealize I can expel you from
(05:05):
every school in this county.
Your parents are going to haveto get up earlier, they're going
to have to go out of their wayto go to another county or
another city just to take you toschool because you can't get
your act together.
And I remember feeling thatpain for them and I'm like do I
really want to put my parentsthrough this because I can't get
my act together?
(05:29):
And again, that was when I madethe decision to change.
It was thinking about how I'minconvenienced to my parents
because of my behavior, but thenalso thinking that this guy, my
principal, he knows me but hedoesn't know me and he's
believing me, he's taking achance on me, like he's vouching
for me to not get expelled.
I'm like that means thatthere's something there.
I know that there's somethingin here that I'm not allowing
myself to to fully display, andit's because of my behavior.
(05:52):
So if he believes in me, thenlet me believe in myself and let
me come back next year with adifferent attitude and mentality
.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
It's crazy what the power of a new perspective can
do for our mindsets.
Would you say thatunderstanding your purpose came
out of those particularsituations and that's why you're
so passionate about teachingresilience and purpose to young
kiddos now?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I think it came the following year it was either my
fourth grade or the fifth gradeyear there was a speaker.
They had a speaker come in.
I believe this was the onlyspeaker that had come into my
school.
He came to the school I don'tremember what he said, but I'll
never forget how he made me feeland I knew that that was
something that I wanted to do.
I wanted to inspire and impactlives, the message.
(06:45):
And he said, yeah, I'm going tobe at this at the uh, what they
call the school board building,this afternoon, uh, this
evening, and if you guys want tocome and hear me speak again,
you know, go tell your parents.
And I went home and I I said,hey, mom, dad, we, we, we gotta
go, we gotta go hear this guyspeak again.
And my parents, they took meand me and my dad went up and we
met him.
I think he played ball overseas, professional ball overseas, or
something like that.
(07:06):
But we went, we went on stage,talked to him and again, as a
kid, I'm just looking up, likethis is what I want to do.
I don't know what him and mydad are talking about.
All I know is he had abasketball prop, and he had a
message of hope and inspiration,and I believe that that's what
allows us to speak to people themost.
Sometimes they especially thekids they may not understand
(07:29):
exactly what we're seeing,depending on the terminology
that we use, but the heartspeaks to the heart, and that's
exactly what happened that day,and so now I'm on a mission to
do the same.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
I love that you point that out, because, as a
generation, I feel a lot oftimes that we try to sugarcoat
things for children because wedon't want them to think that we
were irresponsible, or we don'twant them to think that oh,
think less of me, or think thatit's okay for you to go make
these mistakes.
But the funny thing is, when weare open about our problems,
(08:01):
you'll see less errors made, andthat is something that parents
need to grasp too.
When you're open with your kidsabout the crap you did, guess
what?
They're not going to be like ohmy God, let me be a bad guy.
They're going to learn from it.
If you truly learned from it Now, if you didn't learn from it
and didn't change your ways andnow all of a sudden you're like
(08:21):
do as I say, not as I do, thenthat's a completely different
thing.
So I appreciate you pointingthat out.
So no problem, buildingresilience the key to thriving
and success.
Resilience is usually a majorpart of your message.
You hear it in your posts, youhear it in your videos and your
speeches.
We hear hear that word so much,but not everybody actually
(08:46):
understands what true resiliencelooks like.
How would you define resilience, and why is it so critical for
our young kiddos today?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I would define resilience as not taking no for
an answer and that's by anymeans necessary in any aspect of
your life.
A huge part of my story isfootball and I remember my
oldest sister hands down, mybiggest fan.
Unfortunately, she passed awayback in 2014, I believe, 2014.
(09:17):
But she was my biggest fan.
I appreciate it.
But she would take me topractices and this was when I
was on the chubby side.
I was a short, chubby kid and Iwanted the ball in my hands.
I wanted to play running back.
I wanted the guy, I wanted tobe the guy that ran the
touchdowns and everything.
But my mentality, my bodydidn't match my mentality, let's
(09:38):
just put it that way.
And I remember the coachessaying you're too big, so you're
too fat to play running back.
And my sister she's 4'11"standing up, she's like a little
pit bull standing up to thesecoaches You're not going to talk
about my brother like that.
And I remember trying to givemy all just to run the ball and
it just again.
My body didn't match mymentality, but I didn't take no
(09:59):
for an answer.
Middle school came, still couldnot bring it all together, but
again, again, I had heart, I hada mentality, but, you know, my
athleticism and body did notmatch my mentality and so going
to high school, I ended up, youknow, saying this is it.
I'm going to reinvent myself,I'm done living up to the
(10:21):
standards of these coaches.
I'm going to make sure that Ifollow my dream, I follow what I
want and the vision that I havefor myself.
And for me it was just atestament of faith and just
being able to believe in myselfenough to push past whatever was
said about me, push pastwhatever limitations other
(10:41):
people had placed on me, becauseI really believed that I would
be the last person that anybodyexpected to play arena football.
Growing up, you know, I didn'twasn't the star player on any of
my city league teams, I wasn'tthe star player in middle school
, and so for me it just came outof that resilience.
It was just that resilience thatreally like it was like a
(11:03):
spring into my, into my future.
It was a spring resilience thatreally it was like a spring
into my future.
It was a spring into my destiny, into my calling, because I
learned from football.
I learned from every part offootball practice, games, the
ins, the outs, the Xs and the Os, the tough times, the times
where it felt like maybe thismight not be it, maybe this
(11:25):
wasn't the thing.
Why am I pushing so hard forsomething that just might not
work?
I my whole speaking career wasbirthed out of that, and I had
to come to a point when I gotolder that I had to realize
football is the vehicle.
It's not who I am right, it'swhat I do, and I had to learn
that what I do is the vehiclethat's going to help me be able
(11:46):
to extract lessons and teach,extract lessons and pour into
the hearts of anybody that Ihave the opportunity and
pleasure to speak to.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
You really speak with a lot of conviction about
resilience being more of alearned skill and not something
you're born with, which I love,because I definitely struggled
with hearing that I was smartversus not smart, because I
truly believed it was somethingyou were born with and it wasn't
a skill.
I used to cheat Shh, don't tellanybody.
I would read the book for thenext day, so that way I knew
(12:19):
what the teacher was going toteach before they got there.
That's the type of mentality Iactually had.
I thought you were either bornand you knew it or you didn't,
and if somebody found out, I wasa fraud, oh my God.
So, thinking about that, how doyou help young people you work
with build that kind of mentaltoughness and emotional strength
, especially as they realizeit's not all that serious?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Right.
So for me it's all aboutmeeting them where they are.
I do it.
I have a five year daughtergoing on 15.
For her I speak life into her,the same way I would into any
child, any adolescent, any youngadult, any adult.
I meet her where she is, youknow, because sometimes there
(13:00):
will be times where she'll say Ican't, and then my job is to
help her process.
Why do you feel like you can't?
And then I don't just say no,you can, you can, you can't,
because I'm telling she's sayingthat she can't, I'm telling her
that she can.
There's a missing piece there.
I got to find a way to bridgethe gap.
So again, by meeting her whereshe is, speaking life to her,
(13:23):
pouring into her, but alsohelping, guiding her along the
way, I can help her understandthat maybe dad is right, maybe I
can do this.
I mean, right now it looks hard, but I know that if I fall I
can get up.
If I scrape my knee I can getup.
If I shed a couple of tears, Ican get up.
So for me it's really all abouthelping people from a point of
(13:49):
hey, no, let me grab and pullyou, but hey, I'm here to guide
you.
I'm not going to let you fallby the wayside, I'm not going to
just pull you by a rope, but,no, I'm going to grab your hand
and we're going to take thisjourney gracefully, because, as
you're learning about you andI'm trying to teach you about
you, I'm learning about myselfand patience and all of this
stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh man, there's like a mirror just hung up, because I
was literally just picturing meand my son and I was like but
that's the opposite.
Instead of me telling him like,do it, you could do it, he's
like you don't believe in me,that's not it.
You're grounded, you're notallowed to go right you're
talking about you don't believein my dreams.
Absolutely I believe in yourdreams.
You want me to fail.
Are you serious?
Because then if you fail, Ilook like a bad, what right?
(14:31):
But like the, the mindsets, theway that they shift and like,
oh, someone's out to get me andI'm like, right, yeah, no, again
, it's not that serious.
So it's it's just reallyhelping guide them and I love
how you point that out.
It's you have to meet themwhere they're at um, their
little reptilian brains aregonna take you where they're
(14:53):
gonna go either way.
So you really have to kind ofaccept that.
I love that, right, um, okay,my next segment is discovering
discovering and living yourpurpose.
So, um, purpose is like a majorfocus for you.
I know, especially as youstarted coaching, you know me
I'm going to talk about valuesand purpose.
Um, right, believe thatunderstanding your purpose
(15:16):
changes everything, especiallyfor young people.
So why do you think thatdiscovering one's purpose is so
transformative?
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Let me see, because I always try to, because, as a
man of faith, I know what I wantto say.
I know that my number onepurpose is to worship God.
You know, and you know, worshipHim in spirit and in truth, and
my gifts that he's placedwithin me are on the vehicle
that helps me do that.
You know, and so I think thatwhen someone lacks purpose, they
(15:52):
, they don't, they feel empty.
You know and I know what that'slike to chase something just
for the fame, or chase somethingjust for the applause.
Okay, let's say you get theapplause, then what?
And if you don't find a, if youdon't find something that's
bigger than you to pursue,you're going to always get to
(16:12):
that dead end, and so I.
That's why I had to understand.
I used to tell myself beforegames it's bigger than me.
Yes, I'm playing this game.
Yeah, yes, I want to maketouchdowns.
Yes, I.
It feels good when people patme on the back say, hey, man,
you played one great game.
But what is the end goal?
There's a little kid somewherelooking in the stands like, hey,
I want to be like him.
And if I have the pleasure andthe opportunity to just have a
(16:35):
conversation with that kid.
I'm going to leave them with alesson that will hopefully
change their life for the better.
That's the end goal for me,that's the bigger picture.
Their life for the better.
That's the end goal for me,that's the bigger picture,
hopefully something that I doand all of us that have the
pleasure.
What'd you say?
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I said inspires basically.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Oh yeah, all of us that work with kids and people
and families.
We have a a stage and what wedo with that stage matters.
Are we here to inspire on thatstage, or are we here to tear
down?
Are we here to build?
Are we here to destroy?
Like anytime, we're operating inour area of giftedness, there's
(17:13):
a light on us, and I remembergoing to a football camp back in
high school and this coach hetold me he said always be on
your game because you never knowwho's gonna be watching.
And I wasn't the type of playerto go to the water and hang out
when you say, hey, water break,I'm going to water, want to get
water, and then I'm coming backto my station so I can be ready
(17:34):
for the next drill.
And I remember him telling methat.
And so I went to get water andI came back and they're running
back coach and their runningback coach, the D1, a division
one football coach, came back tome and said hey, son, what's
your name?
I like the way you work, keepup the good work.
He wrote my name down.
He said I'm gonna keep my alley.
And so for me it's like thereare always eyes watching, I
(17:55):
don't care what the situation is, what the circumstance is,
there are always people watchingus, and how we respond matters
how we respond to the adversity,how we respond to the
inconvenient times in our lives,how we respond to disagreements
there's always somebodywatching us and sometimes we can
change somebody's life just byhow we respond.
And so, going back to mypurpose, for me it's a.
(18:21):
It's a journey Like it's never,like hey, I'll ride, I'm doing
this to arrive here.
It's I'm doing this.
And as I'm on this journey, I'mgiving myself grace.
And as I'm giving myself grace,I'm practicing resilience.
As I'm practicing resilience,there's somebody that needs some
kind of inspiration.
So I'm making sure I can alignmy life with my mission, my
(18:42):
life's mission, my life'spurpose, to just pour into the
hearts and the lives and theminds of everybody that I have
the pleasure to speak to, that Ihave the pleasure of speaking
to.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I love it.
Thinking of that, I guess nowit's more of a question like how
do you help them discover it?
Because really one of thebiggest things is when people
are trying to figure out theirvalues, their purpose, what they
want to do.
They're like tell me, no, Ican't tell you.
Like I can't tell you.
So how do you tackle that?
Like it seems for many thatfinding purpose is really more
(19:12):
of a daunting task.
How do you help them get pastthat and help them actually
discover their purpose?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I always tell people that your purpose is always
connected to helping somebody'slife be better.
You're helping their life bebetter in some way, shape or
form.
So how do you do that?
I mean, it could be as simpleas just opening the door for
somebody, telling somebody hey,I hope you have a great day.
You know what I'm saying.
But I think it's finding ourgifts, finding the things that
we, the small things that we dowell, you know where somebody
(19:42):
else may have to put in hoursand hours and hours just to be
good in that area.
It's just your, it's your thing.
You.
You can do it without thinkingabout it.
You can do it without muchpractice.
Not saying you stop there, butit's something that you do with
little practice and I believethat's your starting point.
Like for me, I knew back infourth, fifth grade, before I
(20:04):
knew anything about speaking.
I knew that's what I wanted todo and it wasn't because I
thought I could get famous.
It wasn't because I thought Iwas going to get a million hand
claps or be before 200,000people.
Can we share?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Can we talk about how we were the same?
You were just as dirty as me,dude.
I didn't do the dress up, Ididn't do.
I'm lying.
I'm lying.
One day, because I was so notgood and I finally had one girl
come over, I was like I have toplay kitchen with her because
she's going to want to playkitchen.
Other than that, I didn't dothat.
Mine was.
(20:39):
Let me put on a backpack andpretend that I'm walking into an
auditorium and talking to allthese students.
And when I would get off thebus in pre-K I would go to my
babysitter's house, I would lineup all the kids that she was
babysitting and I would goreteach everything.
So my mom said I was going tobe a mexican, martha stewart,
(21:02):
that ran an orphanage, that hada school, and I was like that's
so funny oh wow, oh wow right, Iliterally go teach people the
arts of different stuff.
We're building these schools, ohmy god, it's hilarious.
I love that you point that out,because that brings us to our
next segment, which is the powerof connection right reaching
(21:26):
and impacting that nextgeneration.
Like high five, like that's whywe even became friends.
You and I both, like, sharethis energy and I think that
that made it easy at thebeginning when, like, let's keep
talking, let's be friends, likeI like you're chill, you're
cool, um, but thinking aboutthat, you have such a gift for
connecting with people ingeneral, especially young kiddos
(21:48):
.
I know I minds more stories.
In a world where a lot ofpeople feel isolated, especially
in this digital age, it's alittle bit harder to feel
connected.
Why do you think thatconnection is even more
important and how do youmaintain that connection with
your audience in this state now?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
um, well, I'm gonna let y'all in on a little secret.
I'm kind of an introvert, alittle bit, like.
I have my moments where I justlike maybe I don't go up and
have that conversation or maybeI don't, uh, want to be around a
lot of people at that time.
Um, and that's okay.
It's figuring out what worksfor you, because you might not
(22:30):
be the type of person you can gospeak in front of 200, some
thousand people, but you mightnot want want to always be.
You don't want 200,000 peoplein your face all the time, and
that's okay.
But I think connecting withothers is how we make the world
go around.
That's how we you know we keepthe constant flow of energy and
inspiration and giving hope,giving people hope and something
(22:51):
to believe in.
If we're always isolated, thenwe always think that what we're
doing works.
Like if you, if I don'tsurround myself with like-minded
people, then I'm going to bethinking that everything I'm
doing is right and the world iswrong.
But then I need people.
I believe in iron sharpeningiron, iron sharpens iron.
I live by that I love how youput it, and so I believe that
(23:12):
you know I need people that'sgoing to.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I'm going to say this I need people that are going to
chisel me To put a foot up yourbutt like me.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah, I need people that, and what I mean by chisel.
Let me explain it.
I need people that are going tohelp me refine myself.
I had to clarify, I think peopleare going to be like what the
heck are they doing?
Yeah, I'm like hold on.
Yeah, let me clarify that.
I need people that are going to, you know, refine me.
It's like the famous artistthat built sculptures.
(23:44):
I need people that are going tochisel, you know, and they're
going to help me grow, and I'mgoing to help them grow, because
you can't be a diamond ifyou're not willing to be cut,
like mine.
Everybody wants to shine,everybody wants to be bright,
Everybody wants to be the centerof attention, but nobody wants
to be chiseled, nobody wants tobe cut, nobody wants to have the
microscope on them.
If you look at a jeweler, theyput on these glasses to make
(24:08):
sure that the diamond fits rightin the ring.
Do you have friends around youthat are going to make sure you
are the right fit, to make surethat when, if you say I want to
do something, do you havefriends that are going to
challenge you to to uh, to riseto the occasion?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
my best friend is the meanest person I know.
He has no problem telling meI'm screwing up and he is my
biggest cheerleader and he willlike fight anybody who even says
anything bad about me.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
He's like you don't get to judge her.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
You don't get to tell her anything.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
So I think that's a real friend, Cause he will tell
me you suck, that was terrible.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
We're doing this again.
He's, he's a hoot.
But thinking of that, I reallythink it's a great point how
you're talking about theinspiration part, and because
you've inspired so many kiddosto be able to see beyond their
current challenges, that's likemotivational.
If you could say one thing tokids that are listening right
now that might feel stuck orlost, what would you want them
(25:09):
to hear from you?
Speaker 2 (25:11):
My favorite quote life is not what happens to you.
It's all about how you respond.
You are who and what you chooseto become.
I do my best to try to live bythat, even when it's even when
it's hard, even when it's tough,even when I start to lose hope.
(25:31):
Sometimes in situations thatare heavy, I have to remind
myself that hey you're.
You know, you're not defined bythe pain that you're going
through.
You're defined by how yourespond to it.
I mean, you determine who youbecome from this pain.
You determine what you becomefrom the situation.
But if you allow the situationto define you, who are you going
(25:52):
to inspire, who are you goingto encourage by doing that?
Anybody can conform to asituation, anybody can blend
into a situation, but it takes alot of resilience to stand out.
It takes a lot of resilience torise to the occasion.
It takes a lot to shine brightlike a diamond when you're
surrounded by cold.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Thinking of that, let's piggyback off of this one,
because this is a quote that Isaid this week and I feel like
it just sticks out.
True leadership isn't aboutspeaking the loudest, it's about
amplifying the voices that needto be heard.
What's your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
what comes to mind is tug of war.
Tug of war, it's not the leaderstanding outside the line of
people that are pulling, it'sthe leader saying, hey, I see a
need, let me jump in there andhelp out as well.
Everybody wants to be the oneleading and standing back and
saying, hey, you go here, you gothere.
I want you to do this.
(26:49):
A true leader is a personthat's going to get in the mud
with their team and then they'regoing to do whatever they got
to do to make sure that the teamsucceeds.
And so, when you said that,that's what came to mind.
I love that?
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, I think it's.
For me it's more finding thevoices who often go unlooked and
unspoken and unheard of, andstill giving them a chance,
because every person mattersabsolutely for me.
When I say every person mattersand people have privilege, it
(27:23):
upsets them.
I know I have privilege becauseI know I'm not going to be
stoned to death in this country,but it would be very possible
because I'm pretty darn black.
I think my brother probablywould be like voting and be like
yep, she's out, but like I'mjust joking.
But at the same time, if myhonesty really makes people that
(27:44):
uneasy, it does always make meask them like what lies have you
been comfortable with then?
Yeah, and we get to that point.
So, thinking of those piecesand bringing out truth, what's
your vision for the future andempowering those next
generations with the truth?
(28:05):
Like if you could actuallyfocus on your message and
resonate with it with youngpeople.
Keep it truly.
What would you push for them tobe able to build in the future?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
When I was in Florida , when I was young, I heard
about this.
I think it was a law.
It said no child left behind.
From my understanding it wasmore about the classroom.
So my job as a consultant, as aspeaker, is to make sure that
we add an aspect to that andmake sure that no child is left
(28:43):
behind when it comes to theirpurpose, when it comes to
building resilience, when itcomes to teaching them how to
regulate their emotions whenthey're frustrated or when
they're angry, when they're sad,teaching them how to find hope
beyond their grief, because kidsgrieve too.
Sometimes they deal with griefdifferent than we do as adults.
(29:04):
Because we have more, we'velearned more, we should have
learned more over our livesbecause we're older, but at the
same time you know, I can't putan age on it because, again, we
are human, we are complex beingsand, you know, sometimes we
think that just because a personis 34, 24, they should have it
all together.
But that's just how, howcomplex we are as humans and
(29:27):
sometimes it just doesn't worklike that.
But for me it's just makingsure that every child knows that
they have support, that thereis somebody here that believes
in them, there is somebody thatwants to see the best for them,
wants them to succeed, thatwants to help them stand out
from amongst the crowd, ratherthan trying to fit in when you
know that the crowd that you'rechoosing to hang with, they're
(29:49):
not doing things that are goingto put you in places and spaces
that you want to be.
They're not doing things thatare going to put you in places
and spaces that you want to be.
So, for me, it's just makingsure that I become a beacon of
hope, an agent of change,somebody that's going to be
looked at as a big brother.
Hey, big bro, what do you think?
Hey, big bro, what do you think?
And I always tell people it'snot about what I think, it's
(30:15):
about what you think.
But I'm here, I'm here to guideyou, to give you that guidance
and that, uh, that, that advice.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
But I'm also going to help you pull out the truth
that lies on the inside.
It's definitely a ripple effect, so good job.
I feel like your message isdefinitely timely.
It's like right on time,especially after covid.
Kids need it more and I believe, just like you, that it's going
to continue to impact manylives to come.
Our aha moments my sonLeonard's experience with
(30:40):
Structure Innovations, ahamoments in transformative
coaching.
Now, you already knew this part.
Before we wrap up, I would lovefor you to share something
personal with our audience.
You've been a client ofStructure Innovations and you
played I'll say play with theBalanced Professional Pathways
program, and then you jumped inand actually did the program.
(31:01):
What was the biggest aha momentduring the program and how did
those services impact yourjourney?
Speaker 2 (31:11):
It was a huge look in the mirror for me, like one
thing football taught me was tojust get it done by any means
necessary, tough, to pushthrough it.
But sometimes in pushingthrough it I don't get a chance
to actually look at the thingsthat I'm struggling with, things
that I'm lacking, areas thatI'm lacking in lagging skills,
(31:31):
areas where there's opportunityfor growth.
I don't get a chance to do thatwhen I'm just focused on
pushing through.
So it really helped me.
Being going through the programreally helped me find a balance
and see things for what theywere and not the way I was
thinking about it.
It kind of goes back to what wewere saying, like if you don't
surround yourself with strongminded, positive people, you'll
(31:52):
go through this world and you'llgo through your journey
thinking that everything you'redoing is working, I'm fine, I'm
fine, you really you're, you're,you're spiraling the drain, so
you need somebody to come in andhelp you look in the mirror,
force you to look in the mirror,because the mirror can be
uncomfortable, but by forcingyourself to look in that mirror
and seeing that, hey, I have afew scars that I haven't dealt
with, I have some pain that I'veallowed to sit on my heart and
(32:15):
now everything that I'm doing inmy life is manifesting because
of what's in my heart, and justgoing through the program has
showed me a, helped me seethings from a different
perspective, see things in adifferent light, and I'm very
thankful and grateful for y'allfor working with me and just
showing me that there are areasin my life that I need to
(32:37):
revisit, that I need to growfrom, things that I need to heal
from, and there's things thatthere's also areas of.
Hey, give yourself that pat onthe back.
Pat on the back, give yourselfgrace because you're doing the
work.
You may not be where you wantto be, but, hey, thank God,
you're not where you used to beyou may not be where you want to
be, but hey, thank god you'renot where you used to be.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Well, that's always good to hear, and makes me feel
incredible knowing that clientshave been able to benefit from
it and it's helped them grow.
Thinking of that, though, howdid it feel, talking about
feelings, when you came in forcoaching with your business and
I was like, let's talk aboutfeelings.
And then, instead of going tothe business, I made you focus
on other areas of your lifefirst?
Speaker 2 (33:15):
um, what was that?
What was the last question?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I got the first question first question was how
did it feel?
Talking about feelings, I'llask the next one a little bit
okay, so let's, let's addressthe stereotype.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Me and we don't like talking about feelings.
We don't.
But I try to be.
Especially in this space ofspeaking and coaching and
consulting, I try to be as open,honest and transparent as I can
.
And talking about feelings,it's good when it's an easy
topic, but it's.
But I'm gonna be honest, itsucks when you're constantly
(33:50):
pulling the, the mess out, thedeepest, darkest parts of you.
There's the pieces where I'mlike, hey, I'll tell you this,
I'm fine.
But then there's also timeswhere it's like I don't really
want to talk about this andyou've seen it on my face.
Most times You're like I seeyour nose twitch when you say
that so what's up, talk about it.
And I'm like I don't want totalk about it.
(34:12):
But I twitch when you said thatso what's up, talk about it.
And I'm like I don't want totalk about it, but I needed to
because I need.
Sometimes I need to hear myselfsay the heart Right, I need to
see.
I need to hear myself say thething that makes my nose twitch.
I need to see the thing I needto say, the thing that that
makes me feel, feel bad at times, because the only way I can
(34:36):
some challenges actually putsyou out of that comfort zone.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I appreciate that because I know I swear you were
super annoyed with me the firsttime.
I was like we're not focusingon these areas are nowhere.
You're like what am I here for?
Then I was like, just trust me,just trust me.
And you actually focused onthem.
You did your homework.
I was like kudos to you kudos.
What was it like?
Like that's not what you camein for and you actually focused
on them.
You did your homework.
I was like kudos to you kudos.
What was it like?
Like that's not what you camein for and you kind of shifted.
(35:02):
So what was it like?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
it was good.
I mean because I can't.
It's hard for me to help othersheal if I don't heal it, and I
can't heal unless I face thefence, which is a part of my
story that I talk about when I.
You know, there's messages whenI talk about facing defenses
and climbing defenses in yourlife, and a lot of times those
emotions were fences for me thatI had to face and by me facing
those fences, I learned how toclimb, become more resilient in
(35:28):
the face of it, because I'llface those emotions again, I'll
face those feelings again, butnow I know how to climb.
And so by you pulling, by youpulling that out of me, by you
challenging me to say the hardthing, it helped me in so many
ways that I can't even explainin words.
But I know and I I feel, I feel, I felt the love.
(35:52):
You know what I'm saying.
I felt that you know yourgenuineness and your willingness
to help, especially when therewere scheduling conflicts.
At times he was like you don'twant to do this.
I was like no, no, I want to doit.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
I will.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
At first I was like, oh, do I want to do this?
I'm glad I did.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
I'm glad you did too.
I'm very proud of you forputting in the work.
How much easier was it for usto solidify your messaging and
like how much more connected didyou feel after you got done
doing the interpersonal work.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
I felt real connected , like even now, like I'll you
know we talk about finances out,I'll look and I'll just be like
, okay, I need to do this.
And I'm kind of I'm in a stateof awareness yeah, very aware,
that's the word you was lookingfor.
Yes, I love it, but I just I'min a state of awareness.
So now, instead of me bearingthings that I know I need to
(36:54):
bring to the surface, nowthey're at the surface I just
have to find the time to umaddress.
You know, hey, I'll addressthis this time, I'll address
that at that time, versusletting them sit, sit and sit
and then, you know, I getfrustrated and then it's like a
big blow up because I didn'tdeal with the emotions.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
So I'm very proud of you.
You've seen a lot of emotionalgrowth, um, but a lot more
ownership in other areas becauseof it, so I'm very proud of you
.
You've seen a lot of emotionalgrowth, um, but a lot more
ownership in other areas becauseof it, so I'm just really proud
of you.
You did the work.
So thank you for letting meguide you on that, because I get
to say like, oh, I got himthere.
I didn't do the work.
That's the cool part.
I don't have to do the work, Ijust have to guide you with the
(37:32):
questions and I get along theway.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
It's freaking awesome , like I love yo, I tell people
all the time there's nothingbetter than doing what you love
and getting paid yes.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
So, thinking about that, what would you say to
someone who might be on thefence about getting coaching not
necessarily for me, but justcoaching in general or going
through a program like balancedprofessional pathways, or
possibly even getting assistancethrough Structured and Support,
the way you did with RVAServices?
What would you tell them ifthey're hesitant to go?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
I would say do it.
When is the last time you eversee the football team on the
field without a coach?
I couldn't tell you.
As a player myself, I don'tremember any game going out
there on the field facing theopposing opposing team without a
coach, without a field general,without somebody that was going
to put us in the rightpositions to win, or at least
(38:24):
put us on the path, um, to win,because we have to show up as
the players.
We got to show up, we got toplay the game.
The coach is just there to helpmake sure he puts us in the
right position to play the game,and so I would say, if you are
on the fence about coaching,please do yourself a favor.
If you want to win in life, ifyou want to become more
resilient, if you want to bebetter with your families and
(38:45):
your relationships and yourfinances, whatever it is that
you're seeking, you need a coachto be able to help you get
there, because, again, it's coolto feel like I got this.
I don't need a coach and Idon't.
That's your ego talking, but atsome, at some point in time,
your ego is going to face agiant, and that giant just might
be bigger than you, and youneed somebody that's going to
(39:06):
help you go into that battlewith with more than just your
ego, but actually skills to winthat battle, and so, for me, I
needed it I love that you pointthat out, cause I feel, like the
clients that I that I work with, that they're like here real
quick, have no problem paying me.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Jeez, they don't even want to talk to me every week,
like they're supposed to do liketwice a month.
I don't really have to talk toyou that much.
I'm like okay, I'll still takethe money, but thank you.
But it's funny because they'vegone through so much coaching.
They are millionaires and theyhave that mindset Okay, here's
more coaching.
(39:44):
This is what I need.
Next, I already know, I knowmyself I'm going to need someone
to remind me, and that's beenthe most powerful thing for me.
The more and more that I docoaching myself, the more and
more I'm investing money for astronger coach and someone else
not another teacher who canteach me sales or teach me that
it's really can you coach me?
And a lot of people don't knowhow to coach.
(40:05):
So that's the big one.
You got to make sure you have acoach, and a coach asks the
right questions.
They don't tell you what to do,they don't create that path for
you.
They see that light in you andthey create the right questions.
So I love that.
It's truly been a privilege tohave you on the show today and
to be able to have you as aclient.
Your insights on resilience andpurpose are always a fun
(40:28):
conversation for us.
I think we go on forever, allthe time, but before we do wrap
up, what's just one thing youwant to leave with our listeners
?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
If you have an audience, if you have students,
if you have faculty and staffand you want that, that
conversation about resilienceand that finding and
understanding purpose, bring mein, let's work together.
I don't just say, hey, let mecome in and do what I do in,
let's work together.
(40:58):
I don't just say, hey, let mecome in and do what I do, let's
work together, let's collaborateand see how we can work
together to make sure that weengage in that culture shift for
not only your schools but yourcommunities as well, because we
all have to.
We're all in this thingtogether.
As we say, life be life, but itreally takes a village.
I was just talking to some guysthe other day and they were like
man, um, I said they said hey,we heard you're a speaker.
(41:21):
Um, I said yeah.
I said oh, yeah, I am.
And they was like well, I saidwhat do you need?
What's going on, what's goingon in your life?
And he said, man, it's hard,man, I'm in the sales industry
and it's hard.
Right then, and there that was.
That was a stage.
Just to get them that message,give them that hope that there
is greater coming for you, thereis a better life than the one
(41:41):
you're currently living, butalso giving them that grace like
, hey, we're all, we're all, weall struggle from time to time,
it's okay, but yeah, let's,let's collaborate, let's uh,
become family and let's worktogether to make sure that
nobody is left behind and makesure that everybody feels heard
and that, as long as we haveeach other, we can't win.
I mean, we can't lose.
As long as we have each other,we can't lose.
(42:02):
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
As long as we have each otheron this journey we call life, we
can't lose I love that.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
I'm gonna spin off of that one and be like as long as
you're stuck with that one,you're probably not gonna win,
but as long as we have eachother, we can't lose, but even
if, even if you don't win, youcan always learn, and when you
learn, when you choose to learn,you'll never lose.
Yeah, I like to say nothing evergets easier.
(42:29):
You just get better at jugglinga lot, absolutely because, yeah
, no, it never really does geteasier.
Leonard, thank you so muchagain, and to our listeners if
this conversation has resonatedwith you, don't keep it to
yourself.
Share it with someone else whoneeds to hear these words and
follow Leonard on LinkedIn atthis point, that's probably the
best place that I see him, andyou can also follow him on
(42:51):
Facebook.
Is there anything else?
Events you have coming up thatyou want to share with anybody
before we call it a night?
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Is there anything else, events you have coming up
that you want to share withanybody?
Before we call it a night?
Yes, so I'll say this you canfollow me on LinkedIn at Leonard
Dixon Jr.
You can also follow me onFacebook at Leonard Dixon Jr,
and on Instagram at LDJunderscore inspires, as well as
TikTok at LDJ underscoreinspires as well.
And Monday I'll be speaking atthe Kentucky Prevention Network
(43:18):
Conference.
It's a pretty big deal.
There's going to be educatorsin the building, there's going
to be counselors in the building, there's going to be prevention
specialists in the building,and we're going to dive in and
talk about hope andunderstanding, purpose and
navigating the sudden changes oflife, and I know it's going to
be an awesome time.
I've already spoken with theboard members.
(43:38):
They're ready, I'm ready andI'm just looking for a great and
awesome turnout.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Let me know how that goes, because you already know
that topic is very close to home.
So anything that comes to that,please let me know how I can be
of support, and I'm so darnproud of you.
It's not even funny.
Well, listeners, until nexttime, stay structured and
smiling.
Have a great one.
Thank you for tuning in toStructuring Chaotic Minds.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, don't forget to
(44:05):
subscribe, share and leave areview.
Remember the key to success isnot avoiding chaos, but learning
how to structure it.
Stay inspired, keep growing andjoin me next time as we
continue to transform challengesinto opportunities.
Until then, take care and keepstructuring your chaotic mind.
Welcome to Structuring Chaotic Minds, the
podcast where we turn the chaosof everyday challenges into
structured success.
I'm your host, melissa.
In each episode, we'll exploreinnovative strategies, real-life
stories and actionable insightsto help you navigate the
complexities of leadership,business and personal growth.
Whether you're an entrepreneur,a leader or someone striving
(00:21):
for personal development, thispodcast will give you the tools
to create clarity in the chaos.
Let's dive in.
Welcome to Structuring ChaoticMinds, and today we have a truly
inspiring guest.
His name is Leonard Dixon Jr.
Leonard is not only a publicspeaker, but he's also a youth
mentor and the founder of LDJInspires.
He's on a mission to empowerthe next generation to unlock
(00:42):
their potential.
He's on a mission to empowerthe next generation to unlock
their potential.
Leonard, thank you for beinghere today.
I am so excited to dive intoyour story and your work.
Thank you for having me.
So, before we get started,leonard, I want to go ahead and
dive into Leonard's journeydiscovering purpose through
adversity.
You've mentioned it before.
You're well known for yourvoice when it comes to
(01:02):
resilience and purpose.
We see it online it before.
You're well known for yourvoice when it comes to
resilience and purpose.
We see it online.
But before we get into all ofthat.
You faced challenges on yourown growing up.
Can you share a little bitabout what your childhood was
like and how those experiencesshaped your mission today?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yes, my childhood was , I mean, very interesting.
I'm from a small town, lakeCity, florida.
I'm a we call it a PK, but I'ma preacher's kid.
So as I was growing up, I was avery curious kid.
As my mom used to say she don'tnever like to call a kid bad
but I was just very curious andif you gave me too much time I
(01:42):
was going to try to find somekind of way to utilize that time
, whether it was being the classclown or just, you know, just
really trying to get a laugh outof the classroom.
But I think my turning momentin my life was when I was in
third grade.
I had been having behaviorissues and I was in and out of
the office and the principalhe's, you know, back when we,
(02:02):
you know, paddling was a thinghe would bring me they wouldn't
do it with us.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I think towards the end of elementary.
It was still there.
You're not wrong.
Keep going, keep going yeah,yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
well, yeah, it was, it was it.
It's a.
It's not a thing now, but, uh,it hurt, it hurt.
I remember the first day it was, I walked and I was like I
heard a kid.
He got paddled and he walkedout with like tears and I was
like I don't know if I could dothis, but, um, I had to.
You know, that was theconsequences of getting
write-ups.
And, um, I remember had gottento a point where I had to speak
(02:36):
to the superintendent of schoolsand he, I'll never forget, um,
I remember getting called overthe intercom to go to the
principal's office.
I was like man, what have I donenow?
Yeah, I don't think I got anyright, and all the kids in the
class like, oh, you're introuble.
And so I walk into the officeand I notice this bald headed
(02:58):
guy.
He's dressed to the T's,dressed up.
He's sitting on my principal'sdesk, to the T's dressed up.
He's sitting on my principal'sdesk, my principal's there, my
parents are there and I justremember walking in.
I'm like, yeah, you did it thistime, buddy.
And so I walk in and they have aconversation about my write-ups
and my behavior and he saysyoung man, I can expel you from
(03:20):
every school in this county.
But because that man rightthere he was pointing at my
principal he said he believesthat you could change.
So I believe that you couldchange.
So we're going to send you homefor the last day of school,
which was that was devastating.
You know?
Cupcakes, cookies, fun Fridaywhat kid would not want to enjoy
that?
But unfortunately I had to payfor the consequences of my
(03:40):
actions and that, right therethere, I can't, I'll never
forget.
I just came back and I said youknow what next year is going to
be better?
Um, but it was really just thefact that my principal believed
in and because he believed in me, he challenged me to know what
grade was this?
what grade was this?
This was third grade.
Yeah, this was third grade.
(04:02):
I was like me.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
No, braden had messed up so bad and I mean so bad.
Um, teachers just stoppedpaying attention to him when he
would cry and they're likethat's nice.
So this one time he workedextra hard for this pencil it
was a ninja turtle pencil.
Oh yeah, expected that pencilman.
You could have thought he gotrobbed, like no.
(04:26):
And he did not quite recoverfrom that and it was third grade
and I was like, yeah, I can seethat, I can see that.
So a third grader, that isdefinitely powerful.
I think it's funny how much itdoes influence us when somebody
who we look up to believes in us.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Absolutely so, go ahead.
Us, when somebody who we lookup to believes in us, absolutely
so, go ahead.
I was just saying it was justjust looking back at that time
how things changed so much andhow things could have, you know,
been very bad and veryinconvenient for my parents.
And I remember he him tellingme.
He was like do you, do you notrealize I can expel you from
(05:05):
every school in this county.
Your parents are going to haveto get up earlier, they're going
to have to go out of their wayto go to another county or
another city just to take you toschool because you can't get
your act together.
And I remember feeling thatpain for them and I'm like do I
really want to put my parentsthrough this because I can't get
my act together?
(05:29):
And again, that was when I madethe decision to change.
It was thinking about how I'minconvenienced to my parents
because of my behavior, but thenalso thinking that this guy, my
principal, he knows me but hedoesn't know me and he's
believing me, he's taking achance on me, like he's vouching
for me to not get expelled.
I'm like that means thatthere's something there.
I know that there's somethingin here that I'm not allowing
myself to to fully display, andit's because of my behavior.
(05:52):
So if he believes in me, thenlet me believe in myself and let
me come back next year with adifferent attitude and mentality
.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
It's crazy what the power of a new perspective can
do for our mindsets.
Would you say thatunderstanding your purpose came
out of those particularsituations and that's why you're
so passionate about teachingresilience and purpose to young
kiddos now?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I think it came the following year it was either my
fourth grade or the fifth gradeyear there was a speaker.
They had a speaker come in.
I believe this was the onlyspeaker that had come into my
school.
He came to the school I don'tremember what he said, but I'll
never forget how he made me feeland I knew that that was
something that I wanted to do.
I wanted to inspire and impactlives, the message.
(06:45):
And he said, yeah, I'm going tobe at this at the uh, what they
call the school board building,this afternoon, uh, this
evening, and if you guys want tocome and hear me speak again,
you know, go tell your parents.
And I went home and I I said,hey, mom, dad, we, we, we gotta
go, we gotta go hear this guyspeak again.
And my parents, they took meand me and my dad went up and we
met him.
I think he played ball overseas, professional ball overseas, or
something like that.
(07:06):
But we went, we went on stage,talked to him and again, as a
kid, I'm just looking up, likethis is what I want to do.
I don't know what him and mydad are talking about.
All I know is he had abasketball prop, and he had a
message of hope and inspiration,and I believe that that's what
allows us to speak to people themost.
Sometimes they especially thekids they may not understand
(07:29):
exactly what we're seeing,depending on the terminology
that we use, but the heartspeaks to the heart, and that's
exactly what happened that day,and so now I'm on a mission to
do the same.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
I love that you point that out, because, as a
generation, I feel a lot oftimes that we try to sugarcoat
things for children because wedon't want them to think that we
were irresponsible, or we don'twant them to think that oh,
think less of me, or think thatit's okay for you to go make
these mistakes.
But the funny thing is, when weare open about our problems,
(08:01):
you'll see less errors made, andthat is something that parents
need to grasp too.
When you're open with your kidsabout the crap you did, guess
what?
They're not going to be like ohmy God, let me be a bad guy.
They're going to learn from it.
If you truly learned from it Now, if you didn't learn from it
and didn't change your ways andnow all of a sudden you're like
(08:21):
do as I say, not as I do, thenthat's a completely different
thing.
So I appreciate you pointingthat out.
So no problem, buildingresilience the key to thriving
and success.
Resilience is usually a majorpart of your message.
You hear it in your posts, youhear it in your videos and your
speeches.
We hear hear that word so much,but not everybody actually
(08:46):
understands what true resiliencelooks like.
How would you define resilience, and why is it so critical for
our young kiddos today?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I would define resilience as not taking no for
an answer and that's by anymeans necessary in any aspect of
your life.
A huge part of my story isfootball and I remember my
oldest sister hands down, mybiggest fan.
Unfortunately, she passed awayback in 2014, I believe, 2014.
(09:17):
But she was my biggest fan.
I appreciate it.
But she would take me topractices and this was when I
was on the chubby side.
I was a short, chubby kid and Iwanted the ball in my hands.
I wanted to play running back.
I wanted the guy, I wanted tobe the guy that ran the
touchdowns and everything.
But my mentality, my bodydidn't match my mentality, let's
(09:38):
just put it that way.
And I remember the coachessaying you're too big, so you're
too fat to play running back.
And my sister she's 4'11"standing up, she's like a little
pit bull standing up to thesecoaches You're not going to talk
about my brother like that.
And I remember trying to givemy all just to run the ball and
it just again.
My body didn't match mymentality, but I didn't take no
(09:59):
for an answer.
Middle school came, still couldnot bring it all together, but
again, again, I had heart, I hada mentality, but, you know, my
athleticism and body did notmatch my mentality and so going
to high school, I ended up, youknow, saying this is it.
I'm going to reinvent myself,I'm done living up to the
(10:21):
standards of these coaches.
I'm going to make sure that Ifollow my dream, I follow what I
want and the vision that I havefor myself.
And for me it was just atestament of faith and just
being able to believe in myselfenough to push past whatever was
said about me, push pastwhatever limitations other
(10:41):
people had placed on me, becauseI really believed that I would
be the last person that anybodyexpected to play arena football.
Growing up, you know, I didn'twasn't the star player on any of
my city league teams, I wasn'tthe star player in middle school
, and so for me it just came outof that resilience.
It was just that resilience thatreally like it was like a
(11:03):
spring into my, into my future.
It was a spring resilience thatreally it was like a spring
into my future.
It was a spring into my destiny, into my calling, because I
learned from football.
I learned from every part offootball practice, games, the
ins, the outs, the Xs and the Os, the tough times, the times
where it felt like maybe thismight not be it, maybe this
(11:25):
wasn't the thing.
Why am I pushing so hard forsomething that just might not
work?
I my whole speaking career wasbirthed out of that, and I had
to come to a point when I gotolder that I had to realize
football is the vehicle.
It's not who I am right, it'swhat I do, and I had to learn
that what I do is the vehiclethat's going to help me be able
(11:46):
to extract lessons and teach,extract lessons and pour into
the hearts of anybody that Ihave the opportunity and
pleasure to speak to.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
You really speak with a lot of conviction about
resilience being more of alearned skill and not something
you're born with, which I love,because I definitely struggled
with hearing that I was smartversus not smart, because I
truly believed it was somethingyou were born with and it wasn't
a skill.
I used to cheat Shh, don't tellanybody.
I would read the book for thenext day, so that way I knew
(12:19):
what the teacher was going toteach before they got there.
That's the type of mentality Iactually had.
I thought you were either bornand you knew it or you didn't,
and if somebody found out, I wasa fraud, oh my God.
So, thinking about that, how doyou help young people you work
with build that kind of mentaltoughness and emotional strength
, especially as they realizeit's not all that serious?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Right.
So for me it's all aboutmeeting them where they are.
I do it.
I have a five year daughtergoing on 15.
For her I speak life into her,the same way I would into any
child, any adolescent, any youngadult, any adult.
I meet her where she is, youknow, because sometimes there
(13:00):
will be times where she'll say Ican't, and then my job is to
help her process.
Why do you feel like you can't?
And then I don't just say no,you can, you can, you can't,
because I'm telling she's sayingthat she can't, I'm telling her
that she can.
There's a missing piece there.
I got to find a way to bridgethe gap.
So again, by meeting her whereshe is, speaking life to her,
(13:23):
pouring into her, but alsohelping, guiding her along the
way, I can help her understandthat maybe dad is right, maybe I
can do this.
I mean, right now it looks hard, but I know that if I fall I
can get up.
If I scrape my knee I can getup.
If I shed a couple of tears, Ican get up.
So for me it's really all abouthelping people from a point of
(13:49):
hey, no, let me grab and pullyou, but hey, I'm here to guide
you.
I'm not going to let you fallby the wayside, I'm not going to
just pull you by a rope, but,no, I'm going to grab your hand
and we're going to take thisjourney gracefully, because, as
you're learning about you andI'm trying to teach you about
you, I'm learning about myselfand patience and all of this
stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh man, there's like a mirror just hung up, because I
was literally just picturing meand my son and I was like but
that's the opposite.
Instead of me telling him like,do it, you could do it, he's
like you don't believe in me,that's not it.
You're grounded, you're notallowed to go right you're
talking about you don't believein my dreams.
Absolutely I believe in yourdreams.
You want me to fail.
Are you serious?
Because then if you fail, Ilook like a bad, what right?
(14:31):
But like the, the mindsets, theway that they shift and like,
oh, someone's out to get me andI'm like, right, yeah, no, again
, it's not that serious.
So it's it's just reallyhelping guide them and I love
how you point that out.
It's you have to meet themwhere they're at um, their
little reptilian brains aregonna take you where they're
(14:53):
gonna go either way.
So you really have to kind ofaccept that.
I love that, right, um, okay,my next segment is discovering
discovering and living yourpurpose.
So, um, purpose is like a majorfocus for you.
I know, especially as youstarted coaching, you know me
I'm going to talk about valuesand purpose.
Um, right, believe thatunderstanding your purpose
(15:16):
changes everything, especiallyfor young people.
So why do you think thatdiscovering one's purpose is so
transformative?
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Let me see, because I always try to, because, as a
man of faith, I know what I wantto say.
I know that my number onepurpose is to worship God.
You know, and you know, worshipHim in spirit and in truth, and
my gifts that he's placedwithin me are on the vehicle
that helps me do that.
You know, and so I think thatwhen someone lacks purpose, they
(15:52):
, they don't, they feel empty.
You know and I know what that'slike to chase something just
for the fame, or chase somethingjust for the applause.
Okay, let's say you get theapplause, then what?
And if you don't find a, if youdon't find something that's
bigger than you to pursue,you're going to always get to
(16:12):
that dead end, and so I.
That's why I had to understand.
I used to tell myself beforegames it's bigger than me.
Yes, I'm playing this game.
Yeah, yes, I want to maketouchdowns.
Yes, I.
It feels good when people patme on the back say, hey, man,
you played one great game.
But what is the end goal?
There's a little kid somewherelooking in the stands like, hey,
I want to be like him.
And if I have the pleasure andthe opportunity to just have a
(16:35):
conversation with that kid.
I'm going to leave them with alesson that will hopefully
change their life for the better.
That's the end goal for me,that's the bigger picture.
Their life for the better.
That's the end goal for me,that's the bigger picture,
hopefully something that I doand all of us that have the
pleasure.
What'd you say?
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I said inspires basically.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Oh yeah, all of us that work with kids and people
and families.
We have a a stage and what wedo with that stage matters.
Are we here to inspire on thatstage, or are we here to tear
down?
Are we here to build?
Are we here to destroy?
Like anytime, we're operating inour area of giftedness, there's
(17:13):
a light on us, and I remembergoing to a football camp back in
high school and this coach hetold me he said always be on
your game because you never knowwho's gonna be watching.
And I wasn't the type of playerto go to the water and hang out
when you say, hey, water break,I'm going to water, want to get
water, and then I'm coming backto my station so I can be ready
(17:34):
for the next drill.
And I remember him telling methat.
And so I went to get water andI came back and they're running
back coach and their runningback coach, the D1, a division
one football coach, came back tome and said hey, son, what's
your name?
I like the way you work, keepup the good work.
He wrote my name down.
He said I'm gonna keep my alley.
And so for me it's like thereare always eyes watching, I
(17:55):
don't care what the situation is, what the circumstance is,
there are always people watchingus, and how we respond matters
how we respond to the adversity,how we respond to the
inconvenient times in our lives,how we respond to disagreements
there's always somebodywatching us and sometimes we can
change somebody's life just byhow we respond.
And so, going back to mypurpose, for me it's a.
(18:21):
It's a journey Like it's never,like hey, I'll ride, I'm doing
this to arrive here.
It's I'm doing this.
And as I'm on this journey, I'mgiving myself grace.
And as I'm giving myself grace,I'm practicing resilience.
As I'm practicing resilience,there's somebody that needs some
kind of inspiration.
So I'm making sure I can alignmy life with my mission, my
(18:42):
life's mission, my life'spurpose, to just pour into the
hearts and the lives and theminds of everybody that I have
the pleasure to speak to, that Ihave the pleasure of speaking
to.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I love it.
Thinking of that, I guess nowit's more of a question like how
do you help them discover it?
Because really one of thebiggest things is when people
are trying to figure out theirvalues, their purpose, what they
want to do.
They're like tell me, no, Ican't tell you.
Like I can't tell you.
So how do you tackle that?
Like it seems for many thatfinding purpose is really more
(19:12):
of a daunting task.
How do you help them get pastthat and help them actually
discover their purpose?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I always tell people that your purpose is always
connected to helping somebody'slife be better.
You're helping their life bebetter in some way, shape or
form.
So how do you do that?
I mean, it could be as simpleas just opening the door for
somebody, telling somebody hey,I hope you have a great day.
You know what I'm saying.
But I think it's finding ourgifts, finding the things that
we, the small things that we dowell, you know where somebody
(19:42):
else may have to put in hoursand hours and hours just to be
good in that area.
It's just your, it's your thing.
You.
You can do it without thinkingabout it.
You can do it without muchpractice.
Not saying you stop there, butit's something that you do with
little practice and I believethat's your starting point.
Like for me, I knew back infourth, fifth grade, before I
(20:04):
knew anything about speaking.
I knew that's what I wanted todo and it wasn't because I
thought I could get famous.
It wasn't because I thought Iwas going to get a million hand
claps or be before 200,000people.
Can we share?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Can we talk about how we were the same?
You were just as dirty as me,dude.
I didn't do the dress up, Ididn't do.
I'm lying.
I'm lying.
One day, because I was so notgood and I finally had one girl
come over, I was like I have toplay kitchen with her because
she's going to want to playkitchen.
Other than that, I didn't dothat.
Mine was.
(20:39):
Let me put on a backpack andpretend that I'm walking into an
auditorium and talking to allthese students.
And when I would get off thebus in pre-K I would go to my
babysitter's house, I would lineup all the kids that she was
babysitting and I would goreteach everything.
So my mom said I was going tobe a mexican, martha stewart,
(21:02):
that ran an orphanage, that hada school, and I was like that's
so funny oh wow, oh wow right, Iliterally go teach people the
arts of different stuff.
We're building these schools, ohmy god, it's hilarious.
I love that you point that out,because that brings us to our
next segment, which is the powerof connection right reaching
(21:26):
and impacting that nextgeneration.
Like high five, like that's whywe even became friends.
You and I both, like, sharethis energy and I think that
that made it easy at thebeginning when, like, let's keep
talking, let's be friends, likeI like you're chill, you're
cool, um, but thinking aboutthat, you have such a gift for
connecting with people ingeneral, especially young kiddos
(21:48):
.
I know I minds more stories.
In a world where a lot ofpeople feel isolated, especially
in this digital age, it's alittle bit harder to feel
connected.
Why do you think thatconnection is even more
important and how do youmaintain that connection with
your audience in this state now?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
um, well, I'm gonna let y'all in on a little secret.
I'm kind of an introvert, alittle bit, like.
I have my moments where I justlike maybe I don't go up and
have that conversation or maybeI don't, uh, want to be around a
lot of people at that time.
Um, and that's okay.
It's figuring out what worksfor you, because you might not
(22:30):
be the type of person you can gospeak in front of 200, some
thousand people, but you mightnot want want to always be.
You don't want 200,000 peoplein your face all the time, and
that's okay.
But I think connecting withothers is how we make the world
go around.
That's how we you know we keepthe constant flow of energy and
inspiration and giving hope,giving people hope and something
(22:51):
to believe in.
If we're always isolated, thenwe always think that what we're
doing works.
Like if you, if I don'tsurround myself with like-minded
people, then I'm going to bethinking that everything I'm
doing is right and the world iswrong.
But then I need people.
I believe in iron sharpeningiron, iron sharpens iron.
I live by that I love how youput it, and so I believe that
(23:12):
you know I need people that'sgoing to.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I'm going to say this I need people that are going to
chisel me To put a foot up yourbutt like me.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah, I need people that, and what I mean by chisel.
Let me explain it.
I need people that are going tohelp me refine myself.
I had to clarify, I think peopleare going to be like what the
heck are they doing?
Yeah, I'm like hold on.
Yeah, let me clarify that.
I need people that are going to, you know, refine me.
It's like the famous artistthat built sculptures.
(23:44):
I need people that are going tochisel, you know, and they're
going to help me grow, and I'mgoing to help them grow, because
you can't be a diamond ifyou're not willing to be cut,
like mine.
Everybody wants to shine,everybody wants to be bright,
Everybody wants to be the centerof attention, but nobody wants
to be chiseled, nobody wants tobe cut, nobody wants to have the
microscope on them.
If you look at a jeweler, theyput on these glasses to make
(24:08):
sure that the diamond fits rightin the ring.
Do you have friends around youthat are going to make sure you
are the right fit, to make surethat when, if you say I want to
do something, do you havefriends that are going to
challenge you to to uh, to riseto the occasion?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
my best friend is the meanest person I know.
He has no problem telling meI'm screwing up and he is my
biggest cheerleader and he willlike fight anybody who even says
anything bad about me.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
He's like you don't get to judge her.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
You don't get to tell her anything.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
So I think that's a real friend, Cause he will tell
me you suck, that was terrible.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
We're doing this again.
He's, he's a hoot.
But thinking of that, I reallythink it's a great point how
you're talking about theinspiration part, and because
you've inspired so many kiddosto be able to see beyond their
current challenges, that's likemotivational.
If you could say one thing tokids that are listening right
now that might feel stuck orlost, what would you want them
(25:09):
to hear from you?
Speaker 2 (25:11):
My favorite quote life is not what happens to you.
It's all about how you respond.
You are who and what you chooseto become.
I do my best to try to live bythat, even when it's even when
it's hard, even when it's tough,even when I start to lose hope.
(25:31):
Sometimes in situations thatare heavy, I have to remind
myself that hey you're.
You know, you're not defined bythe pain that you're going
through.
You're defined by how yourespond to it.
I mean, you determine who youbecome from this pain.
You determine what you becomefrom the situation.
But if you allow the situationto define you, who are you going
(25:52):
to inspire, who are you goingto encourage by doing that?
Anybody can conform to asituation, anybody can blend
into a situation, but it takes alot of resilience to stand out.
It takes a lot of resilience torise to the occasion.
It takes a lot to shine brightlike a diamond when you're
surrounded by cold.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Thinking of that, let's piggyback off of this one,
because this is a quote that Isaid this week and I feel like
it just sticks out.
True leadership isn't aboutspeaking the loudest, it's about
amplifying the voices that needto be heard.
What's your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
what comes to mind is tug of war.
Tug of war, it's not the leaderstanding outside the line of
people that are pulling, it'sthe leader saying, hey, I see a
need, let me jump in there andhelp out as well.
Everybody wants to be the oneleading and standing back and
saying, hey, you go here, you gothere.
I want you to do this.
(26:49):
A true leader is a personthat's going to get in the mud
with their team and then they'regoing to do whatever they got
to do to make sure that the teamsucceeds.
And so, when you said that,that's what came to mind.
I love that?
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, I think it's.
For me it's more finding thevoices who often go unlooked and
unspoken and unheard of, andstill giving them a chance,
because every person mattersabsolutely for me.
When I say every person mattersand people have privilege, it
(27:23):
upsets them.
I know I have privilege becauseI know I'm not going to be
stoned to death in this country,but it would be very possible
because I'm pretty darn black.
I think my brother probablywould be like voting and be like
yep, she's out, but like I'mjust joking.
But at the same time, if myhonesty really makes people that
(27:44):
uneasy, it does always make meask them like what lies have you
been comfortable with then?
Yeah, and we get to that point.
So, thinking of those piecesand bringing out truth, what's
your vision for the future andempowering those next
generations with the truth?
(28:05):
Like if you could actuallyfocus on your message and
resonate with it with youngpeople.
Keep it truly.
What would you push for them tobe able to build in the future?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
When I was in Florida , when I was young, I heard
about this.
I think it was a law.
It said no child left behind.
From my understanding it wasmore about the classroom.
So my job as a consultant, as aspeaker, is to make sure that
we add an aspect to that andmake sure that no child is left
(28:43):
behind when it comes to theirpurpose, when it comes to
building resilience, when itcomes to teaching them how to
regulate their emotions whenthey're frustrated or when
they're angry, when they're sad,teaching them how to find hope
beyond their grief, because kidsgrieve too.
Sometimes they deal with griefdifferent than we do as adults.
(29:04):
Because we have more, we'velearned more, we should have
learned more over our livesbecause we're older, but at the
same time you know, I can't putan age on it because, again, we
are human, we are complex beingsand, you know, sometimes we
think that just because a personis 34, 24, they should have it
all together.
But that's just how, howcomplex we are as humans and
(29:27):
sometimes it just doesn't worklike that.
But for me it's just makingsure that every child knows that
they have support, that thereis somebody here that believes
in them, there is somebody thatwants to see the best for them,
wants them to succeed, thatwants to help them stand out
from amongst the crowd, ratherthan trying to fit in when you
know that the crowd that you'rechoosing to hang with, they're
(29:49):
not doing things that are goingto put you in places and spaces
that you want to be.
They're not doing things thatare going to put you in places
and spaces that you want to be.
So, for me, it's just makingsure that I become a beacon of
hope, an agent of change,somebody that's going to be
looked at as a big brother.
Hey, big bro, what do you think?
Hey, big bro, what do you think?
And I always tell people it'snot about what I think, it's
(30:15):
about what you think.
But I'm here, I'm here to guideyou, to give you that guidance
and that, uh, that, that advice.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
But I'm also going to help you pull out the truth
that lies on the inside.
It's definitely a ripple effect, so good job.
I feel like your message isdefinitely timely.
It's like right on time,especially after covid.
Kids need it more and I believe, just like you, that it's going
to continue to impact manylives to come.
Our aha moments my sonLeonard's experience with
(30:40):
Structure Innovations, ahamoments in transformative
coaching.
Now, you already knew this part.
Before we wrap up, I would lovefor you to share something
personal with our audience.
You've been a client ofStructure Innovations and you
played I'll say play with theBalanced Professional Pathways
program, and then you jumped inand actually did the program.
(31:01):
What was the biggest aha momentduring the program and how did
those services impact yourjourney?
Speaker 2 (31:11):
It was a huge look in the mirror for me, like one
thing football taught me was tojust get it done by any means
necessary, tough, to pushthrough it.
But sometimes in pushingthrough it I don't get a chance
to actually look at the thingsthat I'm struggling with, things
that I'm lacking, areas thatI'm lacking in lagging skills,
(31:31):
areas where there's opportunityfor growth.
I don't get a chance to do thatwhen I'm just focused on
pushing through.
So it really helped me.
Being going through the programreally helped me find a balance
and see things for what theywere and not the way I was
thinking about it.
It kind of goes back to what wewere saying, like if you don't
surround yourself with strongminded, positive people, you'll
(31:52):
go through this world and you'llgo through your journey
thinking that everything you'redoing is working, I'm fine, I'm
fine, you really you're, you're,you're spiraling the drain, so
you need somebody to come in andhelp you look in the mirror,
force you to look in the mirror,because the mirror can be
uncomfortable, but by forcingyourself to look in that mirror
and seeing that, hey, I have afew scars that I haven't dealt
with, I have some pain that I'veallowed to sit on my heart and
(32:15):
now everything that I'm doing inmy life is manifesting because
of what's in my heart, and justgoing through the program has
showed me a, helped me seethings from a different
perspective, see things in adifferent light, and I'm very
thankful and grateful for y'allfor working with me and just
showing me that there are areasin my life that I need to
(32:37):
revisit, that I need to growfrom, things that I need to heal
from, and there's things thatthere's also areas of.
Hey, give yourself that pat onthe back.
Pat on the back, give yourselfgrace because you're doing the
work.
You may not be where you wantto be, but, hey, thank God,
you're not where you used to beyou may not be where you want to
be, but hey, thank god you'renot where you used to be.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Well, that's always good to hear, and makes me feel
incredible knowing that clientshave been able to benefit from
it and it's helped them grow.
Thinking of that, though, howdid it feel, talking about
feelings, when you came in forcoaching with your business and
I was like, let's talk aboutfeelings.
And then, instead of going tothe business, I made you focus
on other areas of your lifefirst?
Speaker 2 (33:15):
um, what was that?
What was the last question?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I got the first question first question was how
did it feel?
Talking about feelings, I'llask the next one a little bit
okay, so let's, let's addressthe stereotype.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Me and we don't like talking about feelings.
We don't.
But I try to be.
Especially in this space ofspeaking and coaching and
consulting, I try to be as open,honest and transparent as I can
.
And talking about feelings,it's good when it's an easy
topic, but it's.
But I'm gonna be honest, itsucks when you're constantly
(33:50):
pulling the, the mess out, thedeepest, darkest parts of you.
There's the pieces where I'mlike, hey, I'll tell you this,
I'm fine.
But then there's also timeswhere it's like I don't really
want to talk about this andyou've seen it on my face.
Most times You're like I seeyour nose twitch when you say
that so what's up, talk about it.
And I'm like I don't want totalk about it.
(34:12):
But I twitch when you said thatso what's up, talk about it.
And I'm like I don't want totalk about it, but I needed to
because I need.
Sometimes I need to hear myselfsay the heart Right, I need to
see.
I need to hear myself say thething that makes my nose twitch.
I need to see the thing I needto say, the thing that that
makes me feel, feel bad at times, because the only way I can
(34:36):
some challenges actually putsyou out of that comfort zone.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I appreciate that because I know I swear you were
super annoyed with me the firsttime.
I was like we're not focusingon these areas are nowhere.
You're like what am I here for?
Then I was like, just trust me,just trust me.
And you actually focused onthem.
You did your homework.
I was like kudos to you kudos.
What was it like?
Like that's not what you camein for and you actually focused
on them.
You did your homework.
I was like kudos to you kudos.
What was it like?
Like that's not what you camein for and you kind of shifted.
(35:02):
So what was it like?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
it was good.
I mean because I can't.
It's hard for me to help othersheal if I don't heal it, and I
can't heal unless I face thefence, which is a part of my
story that I talk about when I.
You know, there's messages whenI talk about facing defenses
and climbing defenses in yourlife, and a lot of times those
emotions were fences for me thatI had to face and by me facing
those fences, I learned how toclimb, become more resilient in
(35:28):
the face of it, because I'llface those emotions again, I'll
face those feelings again, butnow I know how to climb.
And so by you pulling, by youpulling that out of me, by you
challenging me to say the hardthing, it helped me in so many
ways that I can't even explainin words.
But I know and I I feel, I feel, I felt the love.
(35:52):
You know what I'm saying.
I felt that you know yourgenuineness and your willingness
to help, especially when therewere scheduling conflicts.
At times he was like you don'twant to do this.
I was like no, no, I want to doit.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
I will.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
At first I was like, oh, do I want to do this?
I'm glad I did.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
I'm glad you did too.
I'm very proud of you forputting in the work.
How much easier was it for usto solidify your messaging and
like how much more connected didyou feel after you got done
doing the interpersonal work.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
I felt real connected , like even now, like I'll you
know we talk about finances out,I'll look and I'll just be like
, okay, I need to do this.
And I'm kind of I'm in a stateof awareness yeah, very aware,
that's the word you was lookingfor.
Yes, I love it, but I just I'min a state of awareness.
So now, instead of me bearingthings that I know I need to
(36:54):
bring to the surface, nowthey're at the surface I just
have to find the time to umaddress.
You know, hey, I'll addressthis this time, I'll address
that at that time, versusletting them sit, sit and sit
and then, you know, I getfrustrated and then it's like a
big blow up because I didn'tdeal with the emotions.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
So I'm very proud of you.
You've seen a lot of emotionalgrowth, um, but a lot more
ownership in other areas becauseof it, so I'm very proud of you
.
You've seen a lot of emotionalgrowth, um, but a lot more
ownership in other areas becauseof it, so I'm just really proud
of you.
You did the work.
So thank you for letting meguide you on that, because I get
to say like, oh, I got himthere.
I didn't do the work.
That's the cool part.
I don't have to do the work, Ijust have to guide you with the
(37:32):
questions and I get along theway.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
It's freaking awesome , like I love yo, I tell people
all the time there's nothingbetter than doing what you love
and getting paid yes.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
So, thinking about that, what would you say to
someone who might be on thefence about getting coaching not
necessarily for me, but justcoaching in general or going
through a program like balancedprofessional pathways, or
possibly even getting assistancethrough Structured and Support,
the way you did with RVAServices?
What would you tell them ifthey're hesitant to go?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
I would say do it.
When is the last time you eversee the football team on the
field without a coach?
I couldn't tell you.
As a player myself, I don'tremember any game going out
there on the field facing theopposing opposing team without a
coach, without a field general,without somebody that was going
to put us in the rightpositions to win, or at least
(38:24):
put us on the path, um, to win,because we have to show up as
the players.
We got to show up, we got toplay the game.
The coach is just there to helpmake sure he puts us in the
right position to play the game,and so I would say, if you are
on the fence about coaching,please do yourself a favor.
If you want to win in life, ifyou want to become more
resilient, if you want to bebetter with your families and
(38:45):
your relationships and yourfinances, whatever it is that
you're seeking, you need a coachto be able to help you get
there, because, again, it's coolto feel like I got this.
I don't need a coach and Idon't.
That's your ego talking, but atsome, at some point in time,
your ego is going to face agiant, and that giant just might
be bigger than you, and youneed somebody that's going to
(39:06):
help you go into that battlewith with more than just your
ego, but actually skills to winthat battle, and so, for me, I
needed it I love that you pointthat out, cause I feel, like the
clients that I that I work with, that they're like here real
quick, have no problem paying me.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Jeez, they don't even want to talk to me every week,
like they're supposed to do liketwice a month.
I don't really have to talk toyou that much.
I'm like okay, I'll still takethe money, but thank you.
But it's funny because they'vegone through so much coaching.
They are millionaires and theyhave that mindset Okay, here's
more coaching.
(39:44):
This is what I need.
Next, I already know, I knowmyself I'm going to need someone
to remind me, and that's beenthe most powerful thing for me.
The more and more that I docoaching myself, the more and
more I'm investing money for astronger coach and someone else
not another teacher who canteach me sales or teach me that
it's really can you coach me?
And a lot of people don't knowhow to coach.
(40:05):
So that's the big one.
You got to make sure you have acoach, and a coach asks the
right questions.
They don't tell you what to do,they don't create that path for
you.
They see that light in you andthey create the right questions.
So I love that.
It's truly been a privilege tohave you on the show today and
to be able to have you as aclient.
Your insights on resilience andpurpose are always a fun
(40:28):
conversation for us.
I think we go on forever, allthe time, but before we do wrap
up, what's just one thing youwant to leave with our listeners
?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
If you have an audience, if you have students,
if you have faculty and staffand you want that, that
conversation about resilienceand that finding and
understanding purpose, bring mein, let's work together.
I don't just say, hey, let mecome in and do what I do in,
let's work together.
(40:58):
I don't just say, hey, let mecome in and do what I do, let's
work together, let's collaborateand see how we can work
together to make sure that weengage in that culture shift for
not only your schools but yourcommunities as well, because we
all have to.
We're all in this thingtogether.
As we say, life be life, but itreally takes a village.
I was just talking to some guysthe other day and they were like
man, um, I said they said hey,we heard you're a speaker.
(41:21):
Um, I said yeah.
I said oh, yeah, I am.
And they was like well, I saidwhat do you need?
What's going on, what's goingon in your life?
And he said, man, it's hard,man, I'm in the sales industry
and it's hard.
Right then, and there that was.
That was a stage.
Just to get them that message,give them that hope that there
is greater coming for you, thereis a better life than the one
(41:41):
you're currently living, butalso giving them that grace like
, hey, we're all, we're all, weall struggle from time to time,
it's okay, but yeah, let's,let's collaborate, let's uh,
become family and let's worktogether to make sure that
nobody is left behind and makesure that everybody feels heard
and that, as long as we haveeach other, we can't win.
I mean, we can't lose.
As long as we have each other,we can't lose.
(42:02):
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
As long as we have each otheron this journey we call life, we
can't lose I love that.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
I'm gonna spin off of that one and be like as long as
you're stuck with that one,you're probably not gonna win,
but as long as we have eachother, we can't lose, but even
if, even if you don't win, youcan always learn, and when you
learn, when you choose to learn,you'll never lose.
Yeah, I like to say nothing evergets easier.
(42:29):
You just get better at jugglinga lot, absolutely because, yeah
, no, it never really does geteasier.
Leonard, thank you so muchagain, and to our listeners if
this conversation has resonatedwith you, don't keep it to
yourself.
Share it with someone else whoneeds to hear these words and
follow Leonard on LinkedIn atthis point, that's probably the
best place that I see him, andyou can also follow him on
(42:51):
Facebook.
Is there anything else?
Events you have coming up thatyou want to share with anybody
before we call it a night?
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Is there anything else, events you have coming up
that you want to share withanybody?
Before we call it a night?
Yes, so I'll say this you canfollow me on LinkedIn at Leonard
Dixon Jr.
You can also follow me onFacebook at Leonard Dixon Jr,
and on Instagram at LDJunderscore inspires, as well as
TikTok at LDJ underscoreinspires as well.
And Monday I'll be speaking atthe Kentucky Prevention Network
(43:18):
Conference.
It's a pretty big deal.
There's going to be educatorsin the building, there's going
to be counselors in the building, there's going to be prevention
specialists in the building,and we're going to dive in and
talk about hope andunderstanding, purpose and
navigating the sudden changes oflife, and I know it's going to
be an awesome time.
I've already spoken with theboard members.
(43:38):
They're ready, I'm ready andI'm just looking for a great and
awesome turnout.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Let me know how that goes, because you already know
that topic is very close to home.
So anything that comes to that,please let me know how I can be
of support, and I'm so darnproud of you.
It's not even funny.
Well, listeners, until nexttime, stay structured and
smiling.
Have a great one.
Thank you for tuning in toStructuring Chaotic Minds.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, don't forget to
(44:05):
subscribe, share and leave areview.
Remember the key to success isnot avoiding chaos, but learning
how to structure it.
Stay inspired, keep growing andjoin me next time as we
continue to transform challengesinto opportunities.
Until then, take care and keepstructuring your chaotic mind.
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