October 17, 2024 • 39 mins
What if photography could be more than just capturing moments—what if it could help you navigate life's ups and downs? Join us for a heartfelt conversation with talented photographer Zoe Martin, who transformed her passion for photography from a stay-at-home mom into a thriving career inspired by the iconic Anne Geddes. Zoe shares her emotional journey, including the resilience required to capture precious family memories and the loss of her grandfather during the pandemic. We explore how creativity becomes a lifeline, not just for preserving memories, but for processing grief and embracing life's challenges.
Engage with stories that underscore the power of being present—whether through photos, videos, or community projects. Discover the importance of legacy projects, born from poignant memories like a lost video of a road trip with a sister battling cancer, and the drive to preserve family stories through audio recordings. We also discuss the launch of a community-focused podcast with the late Mark Friedman, affectionately known as Frito, and how it continues to inspire listener advocacy for nonprofits. Tune in to celebrate the lasting impact of community and the bonds that make us resilient.
Join the "Structuring Chaotic Minds" Family
Connect with Us:
- Facebook: Follow us on Facebook for updates, inspirational quotes.
- Instagram: Follow Melissa on Instagram for life stories, behind-the-scenes, episode highlights.
- Pinterest: Follow us on Pinterest for motivational content, episode pins.
Subscribe to Our Community:
- Don’t miss out on the conversation! Subscribe to our community to stay updated, share your thoughts, and connect with like-minded individuals.
Be a Part of the Conversation:
- Your voice matters! Join the conversation on our social media channels, share your journey, and find support in our community.
Start Your Journey Today:
- Your path to better mental health and life balance begins with "Structuring Chaotic Minds." Follow us, subscribe to our community, and take the first step towards a more balanced life today.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Melissa Franklin (00:00):
Welcome back to Structuring Chaotic Minds,
the podcast where we explore thecomplex journeys of navigating
life's chaos and findingresilience on the other side,
and this season we've beenfocusing on grief, regret,
coping mechanisms and,ultimately, the power of
resilience.
Welcome to Structuring ChaoticMinds, the podcast where we turn
(00:20):
the chaos of everydaychallenges into structured
success.
I'm your host, melissa.
In each episode, we'll exploreinnovative strategies, real-life
stories and actionable insightsto help you navigate the
complexities of leadership,business and personal growth.
Whether you're an entrepreneur,a leader or someone striving
for personal development, thispodcast will give you the tools
(00:41):
to create clarity in the chaos.
Let's dive in.
Today, I'm excited to introduceour guest.
Her name is Zoe Martin.
Zoe is a talented photographerwho captures life's most
essential moments, and someonewho's navigated her own deeply
personal journey through griefitself.
Zoe, welcome to the show.
Zoe Martin (01:03):
I'm so thankful that you invited me, Melissa.
Melissa Franklin (01:07):
Well, I'm so excited to have you here.
Before we get into your story,can you briefly introduce
yourself and share what broughtyou to the work of photography
itself, like what drew you tothis field?
Zoe Martin (01:19):
So I was a mom, a stay-at-home mom, I had three
little ones and back in that day, ann Geddes was all the rage.
She had the teddy bearcalendars and sunflower, babies
and things, and at that timethere were no maternity and
newborn photographers.
As a matter of fact, AnneGeddes was told by other
photographers that peoplewouldn't spend money on babies.
(01:42):
Really, and so, yes, it was areally interesting story.
Her journey.
She opened the floodgates andobviously it became a thing.
And so you know who didn't wantpictures of their babies
dressed up in a, you know, likea teddy bear looking outfit or
in a flower pot looking like asunflower.
And so they were precious right.
(02:05):
I had a book, I had a calendar,so I was not a photographer at
the time, but I thought it wouldbe really sweet if I could
learn and take pictures of mybabies.
So I attempted and it was verymuch like the nailed it images.
It was sad, but I tried.
And then I thought you knowwhat I enjoyed doing it, and
(02:28):
there was actually a competitionwhere you could get your baby
on a product or something.
And so I sat my youngest downand I got a chair and he's got
gorgeous blue eyes.
I'm Mexican.
My husband, he's a NativeAmerican, but he's he's a mix,
but we both have brown eyes,dark hair.
He was born blue eyed andblonde, fair blonde, and I asked
(02:54):
my husband, it was a cesarean.
I said, did you watch them putthe wristband on that baby?
And he's like honey, he's ours,Uh, anyway.
So it's too funny because, yeah, we're mexican and we're at.
you know we have these ginormousreunions and celebrations and,
yeah, he's the only one boy forsure that is hilarious so I'd
(03:18):
taken his pictures and I put himin the competition, but I had
red eye, a ginormous amount ofred eye on that photo because
his eyes were so light and I hadso much light coming in and I
didn't know how to fix it andanyway it wound up not being a
great photo, but it was prettygood if I could have figured out
the red eye.
So I decided to educate myselfand online learning was very
(03:41):
important to at that time.
It was important to creatives.
And there was a course calledCreative Live, which is still in
existence, and I like dove intoit.
I would watch it day and night.
And then I took a course at thecommunity college and then I
started my business and newbornswere my main source source of
(04:05):
income there for a while, andthen I got hired at a studio.
So I've evolved since then andI've I've added a lot of
different photography, but nowI'm a member of the Dallas
Professional PhotographersAssociation, the Texas
Professional PhotographersAssociation and the Professional
Photographers of America.
Melissa Franklin (04:22):
I love that that journey definitely is.
It's almost like the hobby.
You really love it and it keepstaking you in that direction.
But it evolves because itreally is your passion and
that's so cute that you bringthat up.
About the babies, I've alwayswanted one of those pictures
where they were wrapped in likealmost like a cocoon and looking
(04:44):
all cutely.
But yeah, I couldn't afford themat the time, so that was
definitely that's something wehad.
They got their Walmartportraits.
That's a good thing, butthey'll be okay, it'll be fine.
I'll probably do it with thegrandbabies.
Um anywho thinking about, I cantell you definitely want to
capture meaningful moments.
(05:05):
I know your journey has alsoincluded navigating some
incredible challenges that werereally emotional experiences.
Can you walk us through thoseexperiences that impacted you so
emotionally and how did youbegin processing them?
Zoe Martin (05:24):
How did you begin processing them?
I've shared some of it with you, but in reality we could back
up a little bit, because duringthe early 2000s grandpa had a
sickness and we were worriedthat we were going to lose him.
And everybody went to thehospital and I remember I was
always the family member who hadthe camera and before cell
phones were a thing, I had thecamera in my hand and I was
(05:46):
always getting pictures offamily moments and memories and
I had my camera at the hospital.
Grandma and grandpa gave eachother a hug and then they held
hands and I remember I stillhave this photo and I absolutely
love it of them holding handsand his little, his wristband
you know, from the hospitalthere on his hand.
It was precious because wedidn't know if he was going to
(06:07):
make it out of the surgery.
And then, um, that I meanobviously when you have moments
like that, they're they'remeaningful, not just for for the
person who's taking the photo,but obviously grandma and
grandpa at you know he came outof the surgery and he was OK.
We lost him during COVID.
Melissa Franklin (06:29):
So that was tough.
Zoe Martin (06:30):
Yeah, and when that happened, I, that's actually
when I had the idea for legacyprojects, but I never did
anything with it.
So then my, I have threesisters, I also have a brother,
and one of my sisters wasdiagnosed with breast cancer.
(06:52):
It was almost six years ago.
She was 35 years old and so youcan't see it very well.
I am wearing pink and I have alittle breast cancer pendant
here and then I'm wearing herbracelet, but we'll get to that
part in a minute.
So she was diagnosed with stagefour breast cancer when she was
35 and she had one child myniece this is so, so hard when
(07:17):
she was 40.
Wow, we had a surprise birthdayparty and it was the cutest
thing, she was so adorable.
So imagine before she wasdiagnosed she was a surprise
birthday party and it was thecutest thing, she was so
adorable.
So imagine before she wasdiagnosed.
She was a marathon runner, shewas fit, she was a teacher, she
was very involved in herdaughter.
My niece played, she was ingymnastics, she played, or she
(07:39):
was a swim, swim meet and justsuper involved in anything that
my niece would do.
My, my, my sister Christina wasthere for everything, and when
she was diagnosed with cancer.
She, because she taught shewould purposefully plan things
around her teaching schedule.
The double mastectomy wasduring Christmas break.
(08:01):
Her chemo and radiation wouldbe on her time off.
You know, when she had breaksduring the day she didn't want
to miss teaching.
And it was really hard.
It was so hard to watch her gothrough the chemo and the
radiation and the steroid shots,you know, losing her hair and
(08:21):
the weight gain.
And then during COVID, there'sa good possibility that one of
her blood transfusions was donewith a COVID patient's blood
because she lost her sense ofsmell and she lost her sense of
taste and she wasn't hungryanyway but then she had to eat
with.
You know, you can't smell ortaste anything.
And yeah, it made it hard.
(08:46):
And, um, the last two weeks ofher life I was with her through
hospice and Christmas Eve I losther.
I was there.
I was there.
My um head was on her mattress.
I slept beside her and yeah,that was really tough, slept
(09:07):
beside her and yeah, that wasreally tough.
But the hardest thing was therein those two weeks because we'd
known for five years and shehad had a plan to write her
daughter letters.
One of my sisters createdstationery, cecilia had Disney
characters and things fromDisney envelopes and stationery
and I'd forgotten that my sisterwas going to write these.
But Christina woke up in amoment of clarity and was like
(09:30):
go get the letters.
And I thought, wow, sheremembered.
And if she hadn't haveremembered, you know nobody.
There were people that knew butwe wouldn't have thought to go
look for them.
And, long story short, she knewexactly where they were.
I got them, I came into theroom and I was so happy that she
remembered and I opened up theletters and there was no writing
(09:52):
.
She hadn't written a single one.
And then I thought she's on thismedication that is making her
groggy.
You know she's sleeping a lot.
She couldn't hold her cup, muchless write a letter.
And I knew that I wouldn't beable to write fast enough to say
(10:14):
what she needed to say.
And I said, sweetheart, we'regoing to, we're just going to
record these and we'll worryabout getting pen to paper later
.
And I got my cell phone and Irecorded her saying what she
wanted to say to her daughter.
And after the first letter werecorded a second one and then
she fell asleep and just laterthat day we tried to record a
(10:37):
third one, but she was so groggyfrom the medication that we
could barely understand what shewas saying.
So I put those three videostogether and I talked to her her
mother-in-laws and I said Idon't want to write these
(11:00):
letters.
It's not her handwriting, it'snot really from her.
And we all agreed we would justgive her daughter the videos.
So the night of the celebrationof life, I laid down on the bed
with my niece and I said,sweetheart, I got something for
you.
And I pulled out my phone and Igave her the letters and I
explained to her that her mamahad wanted to write these
letters, but she didn't get thechance.
And what made it worse?
(11:20):
We're sitting there on the bedand the dog is at the foot of
the bed, and as soon as sheheard my sister's voice, that
dog whipped her head around andthat made it worse.
We both just started bawling.
Um, so we have those videos,but that that is not the way she
wanted to be remembered herhair gone, you, she was so thin
(11:45):
and oxygen, you know that'sthat's not how she wanted to be
remembered.
So brought me back to legacyprojects ah, I appreciate you
for sharing that.
Melissa Franklin (11:58):
Um, I think I moved.
I don't want to make it aboutme, but it definitely hit in so
many ways.
When my son was born, theyfound a lump in my breast
(12:20):
shortly after he came home fromthe hospital.
After he came home from thehospital and I had surgery on
both sides, and so I understandthose pieces and not knowing if
you're going to be there foryour kids.
And then my grandfather was ina nursing home and he contracted
(12:42):
COVID and he passed away duringCOVID and all those things have
carried over into like who I amand why I speak up for the
things I speak up for, because alot of the medications or
different things over years haveimpacted me, but we never think
to stop and share the story.
(13:03):
I can be so busy trying toadvocate or share those things
as you share.
Right now I have patches of haircoming out because there's so
much going on, um, and I forgetto record those moments.
So I think what you're doing isso special and it's important,
(13:30):
but we never want to think aboutit in a morbid way, because we
never want to think we're goingto be left.
And I totally resonate withthat because when I ask my
clients all the time, who do youwant to be when you die?
That's probably the most morbidquestion I could ask them and
it becomes uncomfortable.
So I think what you're doing isdefinitely important, but a lot
(13:52):
of people don't think about ituntil it's a little bit too late
.
So, um, I really love that it's, it's different and it's a.
It would get me into thequestion that I was going to ask
and how did you cope with thosespecific times and how did you
manage to work through them?
Um, so it's important toacknowledge those struggles.
(14:14):
It's important to acknowledgewhat we've gone through and
those similarities, because alot of people go through those
things, but we just kind ofdon't acknowledge the grief and
give it the attention itdeserves, if that makes sense.
So thank you for sharing that.
Um, since people listeningmight be going through something
(14:34):
similar right now, I want toshift to something else that we
often experience with grief, andthat's regret.
How has the regret, or evenwitnessing other people's regret
, played a role in your journeyand how has it changed the way
you're living your life now?
Zoe Martin (14:55):
I have a lot of regret with my sister, because
it was five years that we hadher and I guess we just thought
she was going to live forever.
It didn't matter that it wasstage four.
She kept on having birthdaysand so I took for granted the
time that we did have together.
(15:15):
There was a trip that we got totake, just her and I we've
drove to Arizona, I think threeyears ago, just her and I drove
the whole way there and thewhole way back we went to pick
up, um, one of our or both ofour nieces, one of our nieces,
so they could go to a familyreunion with us.
(15:36):
And on that trip we had so muchfun and she slept a lot, but
when she was awake we werejamming out to the music and
there was, uh, cindy Lauper.
Girls just want to have fun.
Came on, I'm driving and I gotmy cell phone because she leans
over and we're just singing andit was maybe, maybe a 15, 30
(15:57):
second clip of video, but forsome reason I deleted that video
.
And a huge regret.
So yeah, I would.
I would love to have that back,but I'll have that in my memory
.
And the hardest part about thatwas after I left Christmas Eve I
(16:21):
came home and my husband wasdriving and the song Girls Just
Want to have Fun came on and Iimmediately you know that that
overwhelm of regret hit me and Idon't think I talked the rest
of the way home and he's likeare you okay?
And I'm like, you know, I don'tknow what okay is anymore.
(16:45):
And, um, the other thing that Ireally regret is she.
Oh I I don't know if I canactually tell this part, because
that one's going to be too hard.
There's a lot of regret.
There's a lot of regret, butone of the things she I didn't
(17:09):
tell her I had where my sisterlived in Longview, texas, and
that's where we lived before wemoved to the Dallas Fort Worth
area.
So I had a lot of friends inLongview and I contacted one of
my photography friends and Isaid my sister has breast cancer
.
She's not going to be with usmuch longer, but all of the
(17:29):
sisters are going to be together.
We hadn't had a professionalportrait in over 30 years.
I said would you please come sowe'll have one more picture
together?
And she said absolutely.
And then one of my sisters shelives out of state and when she
(17:50):
came to visit, she hadn't seenmy sister's regression I had.
She was at my house just a fewweeks before that and so I knew
the decline that, and so I knewthe decline.
But Stephanie didn't.
And when Stephanie saw her shewas just.
I think it took her breath awayto see her frail and laying
(18:18):
there in a hospital bed withoxygen and no hair, and so I
called the photographer and Isaid Christina doesn't want to
be remembered this way, so Icanceled her and we didn't get
that picture, and that's anotherreason.
Legacy projects it's always beenin the back of my head that
(18:40):
people need to take.
They need to take time to enjoythe moments that we have with
people.
We have phones, we have theability to take pictures and to
take video, but are we reallycapturing the moments that
matter?
Do you remember family homemovies?
(19:03):
We used to sit down and havethe whole wall where you'd have
the family movies, right,because grandpa or somebody in
the family, uncle, recorded themilestones, right, the
celebrations and go around inpeople's faces and these candid
moments, and then we watchedthem together.
We don't do that anymore.
(19:24):
You're not wrong, and then wewatch them together.
We don't do that anymore,you're not wrong.
So that's one of the optionswith the legacy projects is let
me come in and capture that foryou, because you need to be in
the moment, you don't need to bethe one that's taking those
pictures and video.
You need to be in the picturesand video, especially if you're
a mom, especially if you're amom, right?
Melissa Franklin (19:45):
I love that you point that out.
I'm always so.
There's no pictures of me.
Was I there?
I don't plan everything.
What happened?
Oh man, it's really powerfulhow regret can reshape our
(20:05):
priorities.
But something that's reallystood out to me about you is
that you found a way to turnthose experiences into something
meaningful.
Can you talk about how youfound the strength and the
purpose, I guess, to channelthat journey into your work?
Zoe Martin (20:26):
Oh yeah, I'm glad that I did.
I wasn't going to Like, I saidI had considered doing it after
grandpa passed away, and thenI've had great conversations
with grandma since then andevery now and then, like she's
got a great memory.
We just celebrated her 85thbirthday, is that?
(20:49):
Is it 85th?
Oh no, her 95th.
Wow, like, two weeks ago is her95th birthday.
And every now and then, becauseher memory is so good, I will
get out my phone and I will putit on video.
But I'm recording the audioreally, cause she doesn't want
me to record her face and I'm.
Audio is great because you, you, when you hear someone's voice,
(21:12):
you don't have to ask who it is.
When there's someone that youlove, you know their voice,
right.
So I ask her intentionalquestions Tell me about when you
were growing up, tell me aboutyour mom, tell me about your
sisters, and I have so manyvideos that are audio only of
grandma and remembering thesethings that she's not going to
(21:33):
remember them much longer.
She's not going to rememberthem much longer.
She's not going to be aroundmuch longer, and so I'm going to
have these precious times thatI know I'll be able to remember,
when we sat across from eachother and I asked these
questions that were important tome.
So, with Christina, honestly, Ididn't know that this would be
(21:56):
something.
I would start for my business,and the hard part about it is
that I still have siblings whoare alive, right?
So, cecilia, stephanie, ray,david, they're, they're all part
of my life, but I'm constantlytalking about Christina, and so
I'm not trying to to leave themout, but I still have them,
(22:19):
right?
So, because I lost, we all lostChristina.
Christina was our best friend,as a matter of fact, among the
sisters.
Christina was kind of our glueand even though she was my
little sister she was 10 yearsyounger than I am Um, we all
contacted her when things weregoing on.
I don't know why it was that way, but we did.
(22:41):
And so, for the legacy projects, I was telling someone about it
and I said you know, one day Iwant to do something to honor
her and I want to give back tothe community as well.
And so I presented the ideathat this was my thinking,
(23:02):
whether it be having peoplecreate, like, a video like this
where they're documenting, maybe, information that they haven't
shared.
You know, there's some thingsthat we haven't told our kids
that someday we'll tell themright.
Maybe, Right, okay.
Well, what if the someday is?
(23:24):
We record it now, I hang on toit, I keep it in a safe place
until you say it's time, and ifthat time is after you're gone,
that's when I'll release it.
So it can be private, it couldbe personal or it can be
something, maybe family history.
You know, like I couldn't.
I couldn't smell anything.
(23:56):
There was a shampoo that if Ismelled it, I about gagged.
So you know funny things.
You know through a pregnancycause all pregnancies are
different remembering differentthings and making these stories
unique to each of your childrenor to your siblings, or to your
parents or your grandparents oryour aunts or uncles.
(24:17):
I mean, the thing about thelegacy projects is they're
personal and they can be asin-depth or as subtle as you
need them to be, but the idea isthat you're leaving a legacy
behind and they can be photos orthey can be video or they can
be both, and I think there'sjust so much power behind this.
(24:40):
And when I was telling somepeople about the ideas they're
like this is incredible.
I said well, here's the thingto honor Christina.
I want 10% to go back to somekind of breast cancer nonprofit
and I, at the time when I lostmy sister, I reached out to the
cancer support network of NorthTexas and I got into a group uh,
(25:04):
a loss group, and that was thatactually was harder for me.
It was supposed to be a supportgroup, but I am extremely
emotional.
Every time I heard somebodyelse's story I was like, oh my
word, let me, you know, let mecome into my circle, let me help
you.
How can I help you?
And so in reality, that's who Iam Like.
(25:26):
I'm very emotional and I loveto help people.
That gift of mercy.
But it actually wasn't helpingme, it was making it worse for
me.
So I had to step out of thesupport group and then I called
them and I said, look, I knowyou deal with all kinds of
cancer, but to honor Christina'slegacy, I want to donate back
to breast cancer of some kind,some kind of nonprofit.
(25:48):
And they referred me to anorganization that helps
underserved communities in DFWwith breast cancer resources and
that is the Bridge BreastNetwork.
So I was very fortunate lastweek, this week, tuesday, I got
to meet the executive directorof the Bridge Breast Network and
(26:10):
I hosted her on the podcast.
So she's going to be sharingthe story of her 20 years there
with that organization and 10%of every legacy project is going
to be donated back to theBridge Breast Network in honor
of my sister.
Melissa Franklin (26:26):
I love that.
Congratulations.
Zoe Martin (26:28):
Thank you.
Melissa Franklin (26:30):
I think it's inspiring.
You're able to turn that griefinto a purpose, and that is not
a small feat.
It's definitely takes a lot ofcourage to do it and to keep
going with it and keep pushing.
So I think it gives hope tomany who might feel stuck in
that place right now, that theydon't really feel like they're
(26:53):
ever going to find the otherside, or the sense of peace on
that other side, or the sense oflike this is why.
So, for those that are audience, who might be struggling to
find their way through their owngrief, what advice would you
give them about findingresilience and eventually like
being able to move forward?
Zoe Martin (27:14):
I don't know if you saw the smile that just like it
couldn't help spreading acrossmy face there.
As soon as you said purpose Ithink that is what that brought
me out of my grief was Irealized that, yeah, I just our
whole entire family, had thishuge loss.
But what was the purpose Like?
(27:35):
What can be birthed from this?
And it was the purpose of thelegacy projects and then being
able to give back.
I think that is an incrediblypowerful thing inside of us as
human beings believe most peopleare good and find a way to be
(27:56):
that good by giving back, andthat's why I decided that the
legacy projects would be.
It's not just for me to makemoney, it's for me to create a
history, a legacy for familiesand then from that, to encourage
other people to find resourcesfor breast cancer.
So giving back is is a big, bigdeal to me, and that's why the
(28:23):
podcast that I created was again, it was birth, because the the
gentleman I don't know.
Did you ever know Frito MarkFriedman?
He was?
I don't know.
Did you ever know Frito MarkFriedman?
He was?
He was with the ticket andanybody who DFW, who listens to
sports, knows who Frito is Frito.
And I started that podcastbecause we wanted people to find
(28:44):
what, what drove them to giveback to the community.
And there's.
I cannot tell you how wonderfulit is that feeling when you're
giving back to people.
So find, find your passion andgive back.
Melissa Franklin (29:02):
I love that.
Zoe, can you tell us more, then, about your podcast, where
people can find you and thiswhole legacy project?
What is that?
Zoe Martin (29:10):
Yeah, I'd love to, and I didn't mean to bring up my
podcast.
No, I want to hear about it.
Melissa Franklin (29:16):
Definitely I'm like, oh, giving back to the
community.
I'm there so I can listen topodcasts all day.
It does not have to be mine.
Mine are usually maybe 20minutes.
There's other stuff to listento throughout the day, but tell
me more about yours.
Zoe Martin (29:30):
Okay.
So Mark Friedman, frito and Ihad started a podcast.
Last year in July I went to himwith an idea.
I have a giving circle, it'scalled caring for Collin County,
and the idea is that we get ahundred different people to
donate a hundred dollars fourtimes a year.
So collectively, four times ayear, we're able to give $10,000
(29:52):
back to a nonprofitorganization.
So I haven't worked out all theparticulars.
We won't have 100 members yet,but when we get there, that's
the goal.
And because I wanted to getthere, I went to Frito and I
said, listen, I've got thisgiving circle.
(30:12):
I can't get it off the ground,but I know that people love to
give back.
What if there was like aone-stop resource where they
could find out how they couldgive back, but not just like
find a website, hear about it?
Right, could we, could, couldwe start a podcast, or can I?
I mean, can you help me?
And he said, zoe, I love thatidea.
I just pitched it to a sponsorfive months ago but I haven't
heard back from them and I waslike, oh heavens.
(30:35):
I said, well, if you get it off, so we had some technical
difficulties there.
Melissa Franklin (30:42):
No worries, can you continue telling us
about your podcast and what thatdoes for the community?
Zoe Martin (30:48):
Yeah, okay.
So I I told Frito that if hestarted it that I would be
interested in helping.
He said can you co-host?
I've never been on a podcast, Idon't know.
He's like you can do it, trustme.
And I was like, okay, so thisis July, what do you think?
January?
And he said no, september.
(31:09):
I said that means we've got tolike hit the ground running.
He's like yeah.
I said that means we've got tolike hit the ground running.
He's like yeah, let's do itOkay.
So in August I lined up guests,we started recording in
September.
We aired in October.
He passed away unexpectedlyOctober 1st and I had talked to
(31:29):
him that Friday and I said Frito, my sister's getting out of ICU
, I need to go see her.
Can we record Tuesday virtually.
And he said, oh yeah, go seeyour sister, take care of her.
Always, family first, right.
So Monday morning I woke up andtons of text messages Zoe, you
need to check Facebook.
Zoe, have you checked Facebook?
(31:50):
And I got on there and I sawthat he'd passed away on Sunday.
Facebook.
And I got on there and I sawthat he passed away on Sunday.
And I was Lord, completelyunexpected, and I drove to my
sister's house.
It was almost three hours and Icried the entire way because
Fredo was my soul, the soulmatefor giving back.
(32:11):
He and I were knit at the heartand I loved the friendship that
we had, because that was whatit was.
It was a friendship for givingback.
And so, when the podcast ended,nobody had access to any of the
passwords, any of the backendinformation, and everything that
(32:31):
was not aired is gone, and so Ihad people that told me that
they would be interested inproducing it, but nothing ever
came around.
And the power of connections,melissa, you know how important
connections can be I mean youand me and I mean just so
incredible.
(32:52):
And I had a one to one withsomeone and I was mentioning the
podcast and how I'd love to getit off the ground again.
He said you know, you're thethird person this week who's
told me about Frito.
I'm going to connect you withsomebody.
So he connected me to BuddyBroyles and I didn't know Buddy,
(33:13):
and so Buddy didn't know Fritoand I was.
I was really confused.
I'm like I'm not sure why heconnected us and he said well, I
have a podcast productioncompany, it's Studio VLS, visual
Learning Solutions, and I wouldlike to produce the podcast if
you want to host it.
And I was like, are you serious?
(33:34):
So after that phoneconversation we met in person
and we talked some more and youknow what this could look like
and what it looked like whenFrito and I did it.
And so, um, and I think he andI talked in August and then in
September we started recordingand then we launched October 1st
in honor of Frito's passing itwas the one year anniversary and
(33:54):
the really cool thing aboutthat is our very first guest was
Casa of Collin County.
Somebody asked me about thepodcast.
They listened to it andimmediately applied to become an
advocate.
So I'm like full circle, likethat is what Frito and I wanted
was to show people how to giveback.
This is an opportunity for youto give back.
(34:15):
And I think another thingpeople don't often think okay,
with a nonprofit, I need to givemy finances.
That's not the case.
You can and it's appreciated.
But man your time volunteering,organizing, being someone
sitting at the table in an event, helping with fundraising,
(34:36):
spreading the word, tellingother people about it, liking,
commenting, sharing theirinformation there's so many
different ways you can support anonprofit.
So, shameless plug.
If you are in the DFW area, wewould love for you to check out
our podcast.
But more than that, if you areinvolved in a nonprofit and you
(35:02):
post about it, if you will tagpart of NTX, then we will
randomly choose guests to comeon to the podcast so that you
can tell us about how you chosethe nonprofit that you did, what
you're doing whether if it'swith your coworkers or your
family or your friends, maybeit's just you and tell us why
you chose that nonprofit andwhat you did for them.
We would love to feature you.
(35:23):
Legacy projects legacy projectsthat's like my heartbeat right,
and I found it through thisjourney of grief and it's really
it's intentional photo andvideo, whether it's family
history that we're documenting,if it's milestones I have one
planned for November that I'msuper.
This is an incredible story.
(35:45):
The person who wants to do thishas four, three, three sisters.
No, she has two sisters and abrother.
Their mom is completely deafand raised these four kids four
hearing kids and so the threesisters are going to get
together.
This is the original plan.
(36:05):
The three sisters are going toget together.
This is the original plan.
The three sisters are going toget together with two of the
daughters and the mom.
The sisters and the mom don'tknow about this, just the person
who's hiring me.
And so I said what do you, whatare you thinking?
Let me, let me just write thisdown.
Tell me everything you loveabout each one of them.
So we have all of these thingswritten down.
(36:25):
And then she said she isbrilliant, she is amazing, she
is, she's giving me theseadjectives, she's going to make
t-shirts for each one of themthat have these adjectives.
I am, and.
And so these sisters and themom don't know this is happening
.
But today she came to me andshe said Zoe, twist to the story
(36:47):
, there's going to be anothersister.
And I'm like what?
And so, ancestrycom, there'sanother sister that didn't grow
up with them, that they justfound, and the sister just
booked her tickets to be here.
So I'm like what?
So, yeah, this is going to beincredible, yeah, and I'm going
(37:09):
to do photos and videos and theway that we're finessing it is.
The sisters think they're goingto be part of an article in a
magazine.
That's why that's why I'm goingto reach out to them and ask
them questions.
Melissa Franklin (37:25):
I like it.
I like it.
Well, I'm definitely going tohave to.
I know you've already metAlyssa, but you guys will have
to connect a little bit furtherbecause her next project with
her podcasting is going to tieinto yours as she's pushing her
nonprofit and trying to giveback now on the other side.
We'll definitely have toconnect more on that.
Zoe Martin (37:47):
I just want to put in oh, are you pausing?
Melissa Franklin (37:49):
Go ahead.
Zoe Martin (37:50):
I just wanted to put in a plug, because you have
amazing kids, like all of thethings that they're doing, and,
man, I love that you're sosupportive and encouraging to
them and you can just tellthey're going to flourish.
I love that.
Good job, mama.
Melissa Franklin (38:05):
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
I just like to say I gave birthto that, so I can take the
credit for that.
Well, thank you so much, zoe,for sharing your story and
insights.
Your strength and vulnerabilitytoday truly is going to
resonate with so many people.
I know your work will continueto inspire others and help them
(38:27):
find that healing and thepurpose that they need in their
own lives and to our listeners.
Thank you so much for joiningus for another episode of
Structuring Chaotic Minds.
Remember, resilience is ajourney and no matter where you
are, there is always a wayforward.
We'll see you next time.
Thank you for tuning intoStructuring Chaotic Minds.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, don't forget to
(38:49):
subscribe, share and leave areview.
Remember, the key to success isnot avoiding chaos, but
learning how to structure it.
Stay inspired, keep growing andjoin me next time as we
continue to transform challengesinto opportunities.
Until then, take care and keepstructuring your chaotic mind.
Welcome back to Structuring Chaotic Minds,
the podcast where we explore thecomplex journeys of navigating
life's chaos and findingresilience on the other side,
and this season we've beenfocusing on grief, regret,
coping mechanisms and,ultimately, the power of
resilience.
Welcome to Structuring ChaoticMinds, the podcast where we turn
(00:20):
the chaos of everydaychallenges into structured
success.
I'm your host, melissa.
In each episode, we'll exploreinnovative strategies, real-life
stories and actionable insightsto help you navigate the
complexities of leadership,business and personal growth.
Whether you're an entrepreneur,a leader or someone striving
for personal development, thispodcast will give you the tools
(00:41):
to create clarity in the chaos.
Let's dive in.
Today, I'm excited to introduceour guest.
Her name is Zoe Martin.
Zoe is a talented photographerwho captures life's most
essential moments, and someonewho's navigated her own deeply
personal journey through griefitself.
Zoe, welcome to the show.
Zoe Martin (01:03):
I'm so thankful that you invited me, Melissa.
Melissa Franklin (01:07):
Well, I'm so excited to have you here.
Before we get into your story,can you briefly introduce
yourself and share what broughtyou to the work of photography
itself, like what drew you tothis field?
Zoe Martin (01:19):
So I was a mom, a stay-at-home mom, I had three
little ones and back in that day, ann Geddes was all the rage.
She had the teddy bearcalendars and sunflower, babies
and things, and at that timethere were no maternity and
newborn photographers.
As a matter of fact, AnneGeddes was told by other
photographers that peoplewouldn't spend money on babies.
(01:42):
Really, and so, yes, it was areally interesting story.
Her journey.
She opened the floodgates andobviously it became a thing.
And so you know who didn't wantpictures of their babies
dressed up in a, you know, likea teddy bear looking outfit or
in a flower pot looking like asunflower.
And so they were precious right.
(02:05):
I had a book, I had a calendar,so I was not a photographer at
the time, but I thought it wouldbe really sweet if I could
learn and take pictures of mybabies.
So I attempted and it was verymuch like the nailed it images.
It was sad, but I tried.
And then I thought you knowwhat I enjoyed doing it, and
(02:28):
there was actually a competitionwhere you could get your baby
on a product or something.
And so I sat my youngest downand I got a chair and he's got
gorgeous blue eyes.
I'm Mexican.
My husband, he's a NativeAmerican, but he's he's a mix,
but we both have brown eyes,dark hair.
He was born blue eyed andblonde, fair blonde, and I asked
(02:54):
my husband, it was a cesarean.
I said, did you watch them putthe wristband on that baby?
And he's like honey, he's ours,Uh, anyway.
So it's too funny because, yeah, we're mexican and we're at.
you know we have these ginormousreunions and celebrations and,
yeah, he's the only one boy forsure that is hilarious so I'd
(03:18):
taken his pictures and I put himin the competition, but I had
red eye, a ginormous amount ofred eye on that photo because
his eyes were so light and I hadso much light coming in and I
didn't know how to fix it andanyway it wound up not being a
great photo, but it was prettygood if I could have figured out
the red eye.
So I decided to educate myselfand online learning was very
(03:41):
important to at that time.
It was important to creatives.
And there was a course calledCreative Live, which is still in
existence, and I like dove intoit.
I would watch it day and night.
And then I took a course at thecommunity college and then I
started my business and newbornswere my main source source of
(04:05):
income there for a while, andthen I got hired at a studio.
So I've evolved since then andI've I've added a lot of
different photography, but nowI'm a member of the Dallas
Professional PhotographersAssociation, the Texas
Professional PhotographersAssociation and the Professional
Photographers of America.
Melissa Franklin (04:22):
I love that that journey definitely is.
It's almost like the hobby.
You really love it and it keepstaking you in that direction.
But it evolves because itreally is your passion and
that's so cute that you bringthat up.
About the babies, I've alwayswanted one of those pictures
where they were wrapped in likealmost like a cocoon and looking
(04:44):
all cutely.
But yeah, I couldn't afford themat the time, so that was
definitely that's something wehad.
They got their Walmartportraits.
That's a good thing, butthey'll be okay, it'll be fine.
I'll probably do it with thegrandbabies.
Um anywho thinking about, I cantell you definitely want to
capture meaningful moments.
(05:05):
I know your journey has alsoincluded navigating some
incredible challenges that werereally emotional experiences.
Can you walk us through thoseexperiences that impacted you so
emotionally and how did youbegin processing them?
Zoe Martin (05:24):
How did you begin processing them?
I've shared some of it with you, but in reality we could back
up a little bit, because duringthe early 2000s grandpa had a
sickness and we were worriedthat we were going to lose him.
And everybody went to thehospital and I remember I was
always the family member who hadthe camera and before cell
phones were a thing, I had thecamera in my hand and I was
(05:46):
always getting pictures offamily moments and memories and
I had my camera at the hospital.
Grandma and grandpa gave eachother a hug and then they held
hands and I remember I stillhave this photo and I absolutely
love it of them holding handsand his little, his wristband
you know, from the hospitalthere on his hand.
It was precious because wedidn't know if he was going to
(06:07):
make it out of the surgery.
And then, um, that I meanobviously when you have moments
like that, they're they'remeaningful, not just for for the
person who's taking the photo,but obviously grandma and
grandpa at you know he came outof the surgery and he was OK.
We lost him during COVID.
Melissa Franklin (06:29):
So that was tough.
Zoe Martin (06:30):
Yeah, and when that happened, I, that's actually
when I had the idea for legacyprojects, but I never did
anything with it.
So then my, I have threesisters, I also have a brother,
and one of my sisters wasdiagnosed with breast cancer.
(06:52):
It was almost six years ago.
She was 35 years old and so youcan't see it very well.
I am wearing pink and I have alittle breast cancer pendant
here and then I'm wearing herbracelet, but we'll get to that
part in a minute.
So she was diagnosed with stagefour breast cancer when she was
35 and she had one child myniece this is so, so hard when
(07:17):
she was 40.
Wow, we had a surprise birthdayparty and it was the cutest
thing, she was so adorable.
So imagine before she wasdiagnosed she was a surprise
birthday party and it was thecutest thing, she was so
adorable.
So imagine before she wasdiagnosed.
She was a marathon runner, shewas fit, she was a teacher, she
was very involved in herdaughter.
My niece played, she was ingymnastics, she played, or she
(07:39):
was a swim, swim meet and justsuper involved in anything that
my niece would do.
My, my, my sister Christina wasthere for everything, and when
she was diagnosed with cancer.
She, because she taught shewould purposefully plan things
around her teaching schedule.
The double mastectomy wasduring Christmas break.
(08:01):
Her chemo and radiation wouldbe on her time off.
You know, when she had breaksduring the day she didn't want
to miss teaching.
And it was really hard.
It was so hard to watch her gothrough the chemo and the
radiation and the steroid shots,you know, losing her hair and
(08:21):
the weight gain.
And then during COVID, there'sa good possibility that one of
her blood transfusions was donewith a COVID patient's blood
because she lost her sense ofsmell and she lost her sense of
taste and she wasn't hungryanyway but then she had to eat
with.
You know, you can't smell ortaste anything.
And yeah, it made it hard.
(08:46):
And, um, the last two weeks ofher life I was with her through
hospice and Christmas Eve I losther.
I was there.
I was there.
My um head was on her mattress.
I slept beside her and yeah,that was really tough, slept
(09:07):
beside her and yeah, that wasreally tough.
But the hardest thing was therein those two weeks because we'd
known for five years and shehad had a plan to write her
daughter letters.
One of my sisters createdstationery, cecilia had Disney
characters and things fromDisney envelopes and stationery
and I'd forgotten that my sisterwas going to write these.
But Christina woke up in amoment of clarity and was like
(09:30):
go get the letters.
And I thought, wow, sheremembered.
And if she hadn't haveremembered, you know nobody.
There were people that knew butwe wouldn't have thought to go
look for them.
And, long story short, she knewexactly where they were.
I got them, I came into theroom and I was so happy that she
remembered and I opened up theletters and there was no writing
(09:52):
.
She hadn't written a single one.
And then I thought she's on thismedication that is making her
groggy.
You know she's sleeping a lot.
She couldn't hold her cup, muchless write a letter.
And I knew that I wouldn't beable to write fast enough to say
(10:14):
what she needed to say.
And I said, sweetheart, we'regoing to, we're just going to
record these and we'll worryabout getting pen to paper later
.
And I got my cell phone and Irecorded her saying what she
wanted to say to her daughter.
And after the first letter werecorded a second one and then
she fell asleep and just laterthat day we tried to record a
(10:37):
third one, but she was so groggyfrom the medication that we
could barely understand what shewas saying.
So I put those three videostogether and I talked to her her
mother-in-laws and I said Idon't want to write these
(11:00):
letters.
It's not her handwriting, it'snot really from her.
And we all agreed we would justgive her daughter the videos.
So the night of the celebrationof life, I laid down on the bed
with my niece and I said,sweetheart, I got something for
you.
And I pulled out my phone and Igave her the letters and I
explained to her that her mamahad wanted to write these
letters, but she didn't get thechance.
And what made it worse?
(11:20):
We're sitting there on the bedand the dog is at the foot of
the bed, and as soon as sheheard my sister's voice, that
dog whipped her head around andthat made it worse.
We both just started bawling.
Um, so we have those videos,but that that is not the way she
wanted to be remembered herhair gone, you, she was so thin
(11:45):
and oxygen, you know that'sthat's not how she wanted to be
remembered.
So brought me back to legacyprojects ah, I appreciate you
for sharing that.
Melissa Franklin (11:58):
Um, I think I moved.
I don't want to make it aboutme, but it definitely hit in so
many ways.
When my son was born, theyfound a lump in my breast
(12:20):
shortly after he came home fromthe hospital.
After he came home from thehospital and I had surgery on
both sides, and so I understandthose pieces and not knowing if
you're going to be there foryour kids.
And then my grandfather was ina nursing home and he contracted
(12:42):
COVID and he passed away duringCOVID and all those things have
carried over into like who I amand why I speak up for the
things I speak up for, because alot of the medications or
different things over years haveimpacted me, but we never think
to stop and share the story.
(13:03):
I can be so busy trying toadvocate or share those things
as you share.
Right now I have patches of haircoming out because there's so
much going on, um, and I forgetto record those moments.
So I think what you're doing isso special and it's important,
(13:30):
but we never want to think aboutit in a morbid way, because we
never want to think we're goingto be left.
And I totally resonate withthat because when I ask my
clients all the time, who do youwant to be when you die?
That's probably the most morbidquestion I could ask them and
it becomes uncomfortable.
So I think what you're doing isdefinitely important, but a lot
(13:52):
of people don't think about ituntil it's a little bit too late
.
So, um, I really love that it's, it's different and it's a.
It would get me into thequestion that I was going to ask
and how did you cope with thosespecific times and how did you
manage to work through them?
Um, so it's important toacknowledge those struggles.
(14:14):
It's important to acknowledgewhat we've gone through and
those similarities, because alot of people go through those
things, but we just kind ofdon't acknowledge the grief and
give it the attention itdeserves, if that makes sense.
So thank you for sharing that.
Um, since people listeningmight be going through something
(14:34):
similar right now, I want toshift to something else that we
often experience with grief, andthat's regret.
How has the regret, or evenwitnessing other people's regret
, played a role in your journeyand how has it changed the way
you're living your life now?
Zoe Martin (14:55):
I have a lot of regret with my sister, because
it was five years that we hadher and I guess we just thought
she was going to live forever.
It didn't matter that it wasstage four.
She kept on having birthdaysand so I took for granted the
time that we did have together.
(15:15):
There was a trip that we got totake, just her and I we've
drove to Arizona, I think threeyears ago, just her and I drove
the whole way there and thewhole way back we went to pick
up, um, one of our or both ofour nieces, one of our nieces,
so they could go to a familyreunion with us.
(15:36):
And on that trip we had so muchfun and she slept a lot, but
when she was awake we werejamming out to the music and
there was, uh, cindy Lauper.
Girls just want to have fun.
Came on, I'm driving and I gotmy cell phone because she leans
over and we're just singing andit was maybe, maybe a 15, 30
(15:57):
second clip of video, but forsome reason I deleted that video
.
And a huge regret.
So yeah, I would.
I would love to have that back,but I'll have that in my memory
.
And the hardest part about thatwas after I left Christmas Eve I
(16:21):
came home and my husband wasdriving and the song Girls Just
Want to have Fun came on and Iimmediately you know that that
overwhelm of regret hit me and Idon't think I talked the rest
of the way home and he's likeare you okay?
And I'm like, you know, I don'tknow what okay is anymore.
(16:45):
And, um, the other thing that Ireally regret is she.
Oh I I don't know if I canactually tell this part, because
that one's going to be too hard.
There's a lot of regret.
There's a lot of regret, butone of the things she I didn't
(17:09):
tell her I had where my sisterlived in Longview, texas, and
that's where we lived before wemoved to the Dallas Fort Worth
area.
So I had a lot of friends inLongview and I contacted one of
my photography friends and Isaid my sister has breast cancer
.
She's not going to be with usmuch longer, but all of the
(17:29):
sisters are going to be together.
We hadn't had a professionalportrait in over 30 years.
I said would you please come sowe'll have one more picture
together?
And she said absolutely.
And then one of my sisters shelives out of state and when she
(17:50):
came to visit, she hadn't seenmy sister's regression I had.
She was at my house just a fewweeks before that and so I knew
the decline that, and so I knewthe decline.
But Stephanie didn't.
And when Stephanie saw her shewas just.
I think it took her breath awayto see her frail and laying
(18:18):
there in a hospital bed withoxygen and no hair, and so I
called the photographer and Isaid Christina doesn't want to
be remembered this way, so Icanceled her and we didn't get
that picture, and that's anotherreason.
Legacy projects it's always beenin the back of my head that
(18:40):
people need to take.
They need to take time to enjoythe moments that we have with
people.
We have phones, we have theability to take pictures and to
take video, but are we reallycapturing the moments that
matter?
Do you remember family homemovies?
(19:03):
We used to sit down and havethe whole wall where you'd have
the family movies, right,because grandpa or somebody in
the family, uncle, recorded themilestones, right, the
celebrations and go around inpeople's faces and these candid
moments, and then we watchedthem together.
We don't do that anymore.
(19:24):
You're not wrong, and then wewatch them together.
We don't do that anymore,you're not wrong.
So that's one of the optionswith the legacy projects is let
me come in and capture that foryou, because you need to be in
the moment, you don't need to bethe one that's taking those
pictures and video.
You need to be in the picturesand video, especially if you're
a mom, especially if you're amom, right?
Melissa Franklin (19:45):
I love that you point that out.
I'm always so.
There's no pictures of me.
Was I there?
I don't plan everything.
What happened?
Oh man, it's really powerfulhow regret can reshape our
(20:05):
priorities.
But something that's reallystood out to me about you is
that you found a way to turnthose experiences into something
meaningful.
Can you talk about how youfound the strength and the
purpose, I guess, to channelthat journey into your work?
Zoe Martin (20:26):
Oh yeah, I'm glad that I did.
I wasn't going to Like, I saidI had considered doing it after
grandpa passed away, and thenI've had great conversations
with grandma since then andevery now and then, like she's
got a great memory.
We just celebrated her 85thbirthday, is that?
(20:49):
Is it 85th?
Oh no, her 95th.
Wow, like, two weeks ago is her95th birthday.
And every now and then, becauseher memory is so good, I will
get out my phone and I will putit on video.
But I'm recording the audioreally, cause she doesn't want
me to record her face and I'm.
Audio is great because you, you, when you hear someone's voice,
(21:12):
you don't have to ask who it is.
When there's someone that youlove, you know their voice,
right.
So I ask her intentionalquestions Tell me about when you
were growing up, tell me aboutyour mom, tell me about your
sisters, and I have so manyvideos that are audio only of
grandma and remembering thesethings that she's not going to
(21:33):
remember them much longer.
She's not going to rememberthem much longer.
She's not going to be aroundmuch longer, and so I'm going to
have these precious times thatI know I'll be able to remember,
when we sat across from eachother and I asked these
questions that were important tome.
So, with Christina, honestly, Ididn't know that this would be
(21:56):
something.
I would start for my business,and the hard part about it is
that I still have siblings whoare alive, right?
So, cecilia, stephanie, ray,david, they're, they're all part
of my life, but I'm constantlytalking about Christina, and so
I'm not trying to to leave themout, but I still have them,
(22:19):
right?
So, because I lost, we all lostChristina.
Christina was our best friend,as a matter of fact, among the
sisters.
Christina was kind of our glueand even though she was my
little sister she was 10 yearsyounger than I am Um, we all
contacted her when things weregoing on.
I don't know why it was that way, but we did.
(22:41):
And so, for the legacy projects, I was telling someone about it
and I said you know, one day Iwant to do something to honor
her and I want to give back tothe community as well.
And so I presented the ideathat this was my thinking,
(23:02):
whether it be having peoplecreate, like, a video like this
where they're documenting, maybe, information that they haven't
shared.
You know, there's some thingsthat we haven't told our kids
that someday we'll tell themright.
Maybe, Right, okay.
Well, what if the someday is?
(23:24):
We record it now, I hang on toit, I keep it in a safe place
until you say it's time, and ifthat time is after you're gone,
that's when I'll release it.
So it can be private, it couldbe personal or it can be
something, maybe family history.
You know, like I couldn't.
I couldn't smell anything.
(23:56):
There was a shampoo that if Ismelled it, I about gagged.
So you know funny things.
You know through a pregnancycause all pregnancies are
different remembering differentthings and making these stories
unique to each of your childrenor to your siblings, or to your
parents or your grandparents oryour aunts or uncles.
(24:17):
I mean, the thing about thelegacy projects is they're
personal and they can be asin-depth or as subtle as you
need them to be, but the idea isthat you're leaving a legacy
behind and they can be photos orthey can be video or they can
be both, and I think there'sjust so much power behind this.
(24:40):
And when I was telling somepeople about the ideas they're
like this is incredible.
I said well, here's the thingto honor Christina.
I want 10% to go back to somekind of breast cancer nonprofit
and I, at the time when I lostmy sister, I reached out to the
cancer support network of NorthTexas and I got into a group uh,
(25:04):
a loss group, and that was thatactually was harder for me.
It was supposed to be a supportgroup, but I am extremely
emotional.
Every time I heard somebodyelse's story I was like, oh my
word, let me, you know, let mecome into my circle, let me help
you.
How can I help you?
And so in reality, that's who Iam Like.
(25:26):
I'm very emotional and I loveto help people.
That gift of mercy.
But it actually wasn't helpingme, it was making it worse for
me.
So I had to step out of thesupport group and then I called
them and I said, look, I knowyou deal with all kinds of
cancer, but to honor Christina'slegacy, I want to donate back
to breast cancer of some kind,some kind of nonprofit.
(25:48):
And they referred me to anorganization that helps
underserved communities in DFWwith breast cancer resources and
that is the Bridge BreastNetwork.
So I was very fortunate lastweek, this week, tuesday, I got
to meet the executive directorof the Bridge Breast Network and
(26:10):
I hosted her on the podcast.
So she's going to be sharingthe story of her 20 years there
with that organization and 10%of every legacy project is going
to be donated back to theBridge Breast Network in honor
of my sister.
Melissa Franklin (26:26):
I love that.
Congratulations.
Zoe Martin (26:28):
Thank you.
Melissa Franklin (26:30):
I think it's inspiring.
You're able to turn that griefinto a purpose, and that is not
a small feat.
It's definitely takes a lot ofcourage to do it and to keep
going with it and keep pushing.
So I think it gives hope tomany who might feel stuck in
that place right now, that theydon't really feel like they're
(26:53):
ever going to find the otherside, or the sense of peace on
that other side, or the sense oflike this is why.
So, for those that are audience, who might be struggling to
find their way through their owngrief, what advice would you
give them about findingresilience and eventually like
being able to move forward?
Zoe Martin (27:14):
I don't know if you saw the smile that just like it
couldn't help spreading acrossmy face there.
As soon as you said purpose Ithink that is what that brought
me out of my grief was Irealized that, yeah, I just our
whole entire family, had thishuge loss.
But what was the purpose Like?
(27:35):
What can be birthed from this?
And it was the purpose of thelegacy projects and then being
able to give back.
I think that is an incrediblypowerful thing inside of us as
human beings believe most peopleare good and find a way to be
(27:56):
that good by giving back, andthat's why I decided that the
legacy projects would be.
It's not just for me to makemoney, it's for me to create a
history, a legacy for familiesand then from that, to encourage
other people to find resourcesfor breast cancer.
So giving back is is a big, bigdeal to me, and that's why the
(28:23):
podcast that I created was again, it was birth, because the the
gentleman I don't know.
Did you ever know Frito MarkFriedman?
He was?
I don't know.
Did you ever know Frito MarkFriedman?
He was?
He was with the ticket andanybody who DFW, who listens to
sports, knows who Frito is Frito.
And I started that podcastbecause we wanted people to find
(28:44):
what, what drove them to giveback to the community.
And there's.
I cannot tell you how wonderfulit is that feeling when you're
giving back to people.
So find, find your passion andgive back.
Melissa Franklin (29:02):
I love that.
Zoe, can you tell us more, then, about your podcast, where
people can find you and thiswhole legacy project?
What is that?
Zoe Martin (29:10):
Yeah, I'd love to, and I didn't mean to bring up my
podcast.
No, I want to hear about it.
Melissa Franklin (29:16):
Definitely I'm like, oh, giving back to the
community.
I'm there so I can listen topodcasts all day.
It does not have to be mine.
Mine are usually maybe 20minutes.
There's other stuff to listento throughout the day, but tell
me more about yours.
Zoe Martin (29:30):
Okay.
So Mark Friedman, frito and Ihad started a podcast.
Last year in July I went to himwith an idea.
I have a giving circle, it'scalled caring for Collin County,
and the idea is that we get ahundred different people to
donate a hundred dollars fourtimes a year.
So collectively, four times ayear, we're able to give $10,000
(29:52):
back to a nonprofitorganization.
So I haven't worked out all theparticulars.
We won't have 100 members yet,but when we get there, that's
the goal.
And because I wanted to getthere, I went to Frito and I
said, listen, I've got thisgiving circle.
(30:12):
I can't get it off the ground,but I know that people love to
give back.
What if there was like aone-stop resource where they
could find out how they couldgive back, but not just like
find a website, hear about it?
Right, could we, could, couldwe start a podcast, or can I?
I mean, can you help me?
And he said, zoe, I love thatidea.
I just pitched it to a sponsorfive months ago but I haven't
heard back from them and I waslike, oh heavens.
(30:35):
I said, well, if you get it off, so we had some technical
difficulties there.
Melissa Franklin (30:42):
No worries, can you continue telling us
about your podcast and what thatdoes for the community?
Zoe Martin (30:48):
Yeah, okay.
So I I told Frito that if hestarted it that I would be
interested in helping.
He said can you co-host?
I've never been on a podcast, Idon't know.
He's like you can do it, trustme.
And I was like, okay, so thisis July, what do you think?
January?
And he said no, september.
(31:09):
I said that means we've got tolike hit the ground running.
He's like yeah.
I said that means we've got tolike hit the ground running.
He's like yeah, let's do itOkay.
So in August I lined up guests,we started recording in
September.
We aired in October.
He passed away unexpectedlyOctober 1st and I had talked to
(31:29):
him that Friday and I said Frito, my sister's getting out of ICU
, I need to go see her.
Can we record Tuesday virtually.
And he said, oh yeah, go seeyour sister, take care of her.
Always, family first, right.
So Monday morning I woke up andtons of text messages Zoe, you
need to check Facebook.
Zoe, have you checked Facebook?
(31:50):
And I got on there and I sawthat he'd passed away on Sunday.
Facebook.
And I got on there and I sawthat he passed away on Sunday.
And I was Lord, completelyunexpected, and I drove to my
sister's house.
It was almost three hours and Icried the entire way because
Fredo was my soul, the soulmatefor giving back.
(32:11):
He and I were knit at the heartand I loved the friendship that
we had, because that was whatit was.
It was a friendship for givingback.
And so, when the podcast ended,nobody had access to any of the
passwords, any of the backendinformation, and everything that
(32:31):
was not aired is gone, and so Ihad people that told me that
they would be interested inproducing it, but nothing ever
came around.
And the power of connections,melissa, you know how important
connections can be I mean youand me and I mean just so
incredible.
(32:52):
And I had a one to one withsomeone and I was mentioning the
podcast and how I'd love to getit off the ground again.
He said you know, you're thethird person this week who's
told me about Frito.
I'm going to connect you withsomebody.
So he connected me to BuddyBroyles and I didn't know Buddy,
(33:13):
and so Buddy didn't know Fritoand I was.
I was really confused.
I'm like I'm not sure why heconnected us and he said well, I
have a podcast productioncompany, it's Studio VLS, visual
Learning Solutions, and I wouldlike to produce the podcast if
you want to host it.
And I was like, are you serious?
(33:34):
So after that phoneconversation we met in person
and we talked some more and youknow what this could look like
and what it looked like whenFrito and I did it.
And so, um, and I think he andI talked in August and then in
September we started recordingand then we launched October 1st
in honor of Frito's passing itwas the one year anniversary and
(33:54):
the really cool thing aboutthat is our very first guest was
Casa of Collin County.
Somebody asked me about thepodcast.
They listened to it andimmediately applied to become an
advocate.
So I'm like full circle, likethat is what Frito and I wanted
was to show people how to giveback.
This is an opportunity for youto give back.
(34:15):
And I think another thingpeople don't often think okay,
with a nonprofit, I need to givemy finances.
That's not the case.
You can and it's appreciated.
But man your time volunteering,organizing, being someone
sitting at the table in an event, helping with fundraising,
(34:36):
spreading the word, tellingother people about it, liking,
commenting, sharing theirinformation there's so many
different ways you can support anonprofit.
So, shameless plug.
If you are in the DFW area, wewould love for you to check out
our podcast.
But more than that, if you areinvolved in a nonprofit and you
(35:02):
post about it, if you will tagpart of NTX, then we will
randomly choose guests to comeon to the podcast so that you
can tell us about how you chosethe nonprofit that you did, what
you're doing whether if it'swith your coworkers or your
family or your friends, maybeit's just you and tell us why
you chose that nonprofit andwhat you did for them.
We would love to feature you.
(35:23):
Legacy projects legacy projectsthat's like my heartbeat right,
and I found it through thisjourney of grief and it's really
it's intentional photo andvideo, whether it's family
history that we're documenting,if it's milestones I have one
planned for November that I'msuper.
This is an incredible story.
(35:45):
The person who wants to do thishas four, three, three sisters.
No, she has two sisters and abrother.
Their mom is completely deafand raised these four kids four
hearing kids and so the threesisters are going to get
together.
This is the original plan.
(36:05):
The three sisters are going toget together.
This is the original plan.
The three sisters are going toget together with two of the
daughters and the mom.
The sisters and the mom don'tknow about this, just the person
who's hiring me.
And so I said what do you, whatare you thinking?
Let me, let me just write thisdown.
Tell me everything you loveabout each one of them.
So we have all of these thingswritten down.
(36:25):
And then she said she isbrilliant, she is amazing, she
is, she's giving me theseadjectives, she's going to make
t-shirts for each one of themthat have these adjectives.
I am, and.
And so these sisters and themom don't know this is happening
.
But today she came to me andshe said Zoe, twist to the story
(36:47):
, there's going to be anothersister.
And I'm like what?
And so, ancestrycom, there'sanother sister that didn't grow
up with them, that they justfound, and the sister just
booked her tickets to be here.
So I'm like what?
So, yeah, this is going to beincredible, yeah, and I'm going
(37:09):
to do photos and videos and theway that we're finessing it is.
The sisters think they're goingto be part of an article in a
magazine.
That's why that's why I'm goingto reach out to them and ask
them questions.
Melissa Franklin (37:25):
I like it.
I like it.
Well, I'm definitely going tohave to.
I know you've already metAlyssa, but you guys will have
to connect a little bit furtherbecause her next project with
her podcasting is going to tieinto yours as she's pushing her
nonprofit and trying to giveback now on the other side.
We'll definitely have toconnect more on that.
Zoe Martin (37:47):
I just want to put in oh, are you pausing?
Melissa Franklin (37:49):
Go ahead.
Zoe Martin (37:50):
I just wanted to put in a plug, because you have
amazing kids, like all of thethings that they're doing, and,
man, I love that you're sosupportive and encouraging to
them and you can just tellthey're going to flourish.
I love that.
Good job, mama.
Melissa Franklin (38:05):
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
I just like to say I gave birthto that, so I can take the
credit for that.
Well, thank you so much, zoe,for sharing your story and
insights.
Your strength and vulnerabilitytoday truly is going to
resonate with so many people.
I know your work will continueto inspire others and help them
(38:27):
find that healing and thepurpose that they need in their
own lives and to our listeners.
Thank you so much for joiningus for another episode of
Structuring Chaotic Minds.
Remember, resilience is ajourney and no matter where you
are, there is always a wayforward.
We'll see you next time.
Thank you for tuning intoStructuring Chaotic Minds.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, don't forget to
(38:49):
subscribe, share and leave areview.
Remember, the key to success isnot avoiding chaos, but
learning how to structure it.
Stay inspired, keep growing andjoin me next time as we
continue to transform challengesinto opportunities.
Until then, take care and keepstructuring your chaotic mind.
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com