Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:42):
And welcome to another episode of stuck about my podcast. I am your
host, w I z e. And today, I'm honored to
welcome Christopher Cochran, an accomplished entrepreneur, philanthropist,
and a devoted family man. As a founder and CEO of
Blue Chip Solutions and the and the board direct and the board of director
of Coeptis Therapeutics Holdings Inc,
(01:05):
Christopher has spent his life navigating the the complexities
of business and leadership. But his most profound and
life changing role has been that of a father. Christopher's journey
Christopher's journey took an unimaginable turn when his son, Christian, received a fatal
diagnosis. Instead of succumbing to despair, Christopher and his
family chose to focus on gratitude, resilience, and and the lessons
(01:27):
Christians' unwavering spirit taught them. His book, what's
good about today, is a powerful statement to the strength of
perspective, the beauty of life's small moments, and the resilience of the
human spirit. Today, Christopher shares his story of love,
loss, and the lessons we can all learn from his son's profound wisdom.
Prepare for an emotional and inspiring conversation that will leave you with a
(01:49):
newfound appreciation for every moment. So let's welcome to the
show, Chris Cochran. Hello. Hey, Will.
Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure to be here with you, and, I feel,
certainly, what's good about today is being here with you talking. And I
appreciate you I appreciate you stopping by and coming to share your story because
it it is an amazing story. It's an impactful and amazing story. Me,
(02:12):
personally, someone who's who's suffered from a a lot of loss and
nothing as as you'd like with you because the the loss of a
child is is very significant. So, let's just
just right jump right into it.
Absolutely. Can you share the moment when you first heard about
Christian's diagnosis and how did it change your outlook in life?
(02:36):
Sure. Well, the first time we you know, there's sort of a prelim
to it. There were some, I'd say,
I'd say I mean, the summertime of twenty twenty was when
Christian started to experience some back pain. And so like any
parent, we I took him to the doctors. He got physical therapy. There
was nothing out of the norm. He was a healthy boy. He just
(02:59):
graduated from college, you know, ready to take on
his life. And so he, other than having the back pain,
which seemed irregular, it go on and off, be okay.
There was one night when he just started to have the pain was just too
immense. So we took him to the doctor and ultimately test,
m, MRI, revealed that there was something,
(03:22):
an abnormally on his liver. So this is during COVID,
and I only allowed one parent. So I took Christian
to the, to the hospital. It was the Hillman Cancer
Institute. And I assured my son everything was gonna be fine and told his
wife as I left, the house that, you know, it's probably nothing, and and we'll
be okay. And just trying to give reassurance. You know?
(03:45):
But, when I walked in, I kept reassuring Christian. We waited
in the doctor's room, and five doctors walked into the
door. They all had mask on. You could only you know, there was
muffled. I could see their eyes. But I knew when they walked in that room,
they were about to deliver the worst news. Certainly, as a parent, I could hear,
but, ultimately, what my son was gonna hear.
(04:07):
And that was that he was, received a terminal diagnosis.
He had something called cholangiocarcinoma.
It's hard to pronounce. I didn't even know what that was, but when the scale
of cancers, it's they're all bad. Cancer's bad, but it's the worst
that you can get. And, you know, less than one percent chance of
survival even past five years. So we knew we,
(04:29):
he was in trouble. But I would tell you, I knew as a parent, that's
when I found out this is what was happening. I remember
fading to black. I just remember I'm not a fainter by any
stretch, and I just remember my knees starting to buckle because I knew
the impact this is gonna have on my son, his mom when I have to
go home, his brother and his sister, his friends, his family.
(04:52):
But my son put his hand on my shoulder, and it was the one,
you know, one of so many superpowers he had. And he just looked me in
the eye and said, dad, don't worry about it. I'm gonna be just fine.
And I guess it was his way of trying to call me and let me
know everything's gonna be okay. And and I can tell you, Will, from
the moment that Christian was diagnosed, that moment to the
(05:13):
moment that he took his last breath with us around him as a family here
in our home, he never complained one time. He never said, woe
is me. Why this happened to me? How can this happen to me? Why would
God do any of these things to me? He did the opposite,
complete opposite. He embraced every single day, and he used
to remind us as parents. He'd say, what's good about
(05:35):
today? And it was a question, something we need to question
that, you can always always find something beautiful,
something wonderful every single day even in the worst of
moments. And we certainly had them, but that's, that's
how I found out. That's how that, transpired, and, of course, I had to
deliver that message to his mother when I got home.
(05:58):
What what inspired you what inspired you to write what's good
about today and share your family's journey with the world?
Well, I think about a year and a half after Christian's passing, I started to
feel that nudge, and that nudge was Christian giving me the the support
that I needed to tell the story. His story was too
important. I felt like not only he he has lots of people
(06:21):
who who had reached out, and there's so many letters from all over the place
about the good things that Christian did that I felt
compelled that I needed to tell his story. And that's why the story, what's good
about today, a purpose driven life, just how I really think Christian did. He
led a purposely driven life even as a child all the way up
into be, 22, 20 three years of age.
(06:43):
But I felt that nudge, and I am a journaler, so I
journaled Christian's path during his sickness. So it gave me
an opportunity to go back. Unfortunately, it's it's an uncomfortable thing to do. But I
think it was important to be authentic, to be able to
tell the story from a family's perspective because I mean,
there's so many people with you know, it's the universal thing that every one
(07:05):
of us will you you just said it, which is is grief, is
things we go through and we lose people. And that's just
gonna happen. The question is, how do you move forward
beyond that? How do you take something and take
something that was so beautiful and build a legacy around that? And that to
me, Christian left an unbelievable legacy, and I don't
(07:27):
want to let him down. I wanna be able to go out and share
those stories, share a family's love
of how we navigated the worst thing that can
happen to one, in your life, you know, losing your
child, especially even your parents lose children all kinds
of ways, and there's never a good there are no good ways.
(07:49):
You know, and I I feel that suffering of others who tell me
stories of losing whether the suicide and drugs and oh, they're
horrible. I am blessed I got to say goodbye to my son, but it
was a long you know, it's a year it's a year,
of watching my son die, and and he's so
beautiful. So it it takes that different kind of toll on you,
(08:12):
when you go through something like that, and it transforms you, into
into a person that I am I have no idea who that guy is,
four years ago prior to this, and and I'm just a different
person. So, that's what inspired me. Christian inspired me, and
I wanted to get the get that out to as many people as possible.
How did how did Christian's perspective and attitude shape the
(08:34):
way your family handled this this difficult journey?
Oh, it was everything. Right? I mean, when you
if you meet somebody who has been given a death sentence and they
know that's what's coming, and they can still love life to
the absolute fullest even more. Kindness I mean, he was
always kind and always doing so many things. But when you watch someone
(08:57):
under that kind of situation, go out, get a
job. He didn't have to do that, but he wanted to show he was capable.
He got a job with the ADP. He was able to do it for about
four months before he's incapable of doing that. He continued to
make music. He was creative. He did multiple podcasts, did a
podcast with his sister that's still up today.
(09:19):
He was he got accepted to grad school during that time. He
wrote a dissertation paper. I mean, he was always forward thinking. So this
is the thing. He never said, I'm done. It's over.
What's the point? You know? He he didn't take that
approach. And so when you see something like that, how can I
not take that same approach? I'm I'm getting to be here for whatever
(09:42):
reason. And so it inspired the family to,
you know, come together even closer. We're a very close family. But it it it
inspired us to say, what do we have to complain about? Nothing.
Here's a kid who has is going to lose everything, everything,
yet he still remained positive with laughter, cheered us
(10:02):
up, made jokes, made sure everyone around him felt good.
And and Christian did not treat death. I guess this is the way he looked
at life in general. It was not, the end of the road. He looked at
it as just another part of the journey, and so he had a different perspective
of life. And so, I think how can you
not continue to try to, emulate that in
(10:24):
any way and and project that onto others, which
is what I've committed myself to do for and my family
for the rest of our lives at least to to show that as best we
can. Yeah. Absolutely.
What what what's the most profound lesson you learned from from Christian?
(10:44):
Well, I guess it it's probably the simplest of things Christian would tell
me, and I talk about in the book is don't take life so seriously.
Now it's not something you know, I'm not giving you any great revelation that's been
out there. But when you talk when you see a person who's
dying says, dad, don't take this all so seriously, you know,
which I did. Obviously, I spent a year trying to save
(11:07):
his life and every doctor and everything, and he put his entire care
in our our hands. But I think it's profound to just when you think about
someone who knows they're gonna pass or knows this is their diagnosis to
say, don't take it so seriously, I think it leaves it
leaves a mark on you because I none of the stuff sort of everything kinda
brushes off my shoulder. People can't make me too
(11:29):
mad, and I don't get too upset about earthly items, at all
anymore. It's just, I just don't take it too seriously anymore.
And, so it's a it's a profound lesson, but, he he taught
us lots of lessons, but that's just, the simplest form I can give
you. Oh, yeah. I definitely feel that feel that when,
when my mother passed away last year, like, right towards the end,
(11:52):
we were from the hospital, and and it's one of those real
it's one of those those last moments where she was very lucid and everything. And
Mhmm. And I asked her how she was doing.
And and in Spanish, she says,
which made us all laugh because she was saying, I'm good.
(12:14):
But she she in a way, she said, but I know I'm I'm
leaving. She knows I'm, this is my last few days. But the way she
said it, it was still with her sense of humor Mhmm. And the
way the way she just had her her her her her former
saying things. And at that moment, that's when we all realized it
was like, okay. We we can let her go in
(12:37):
peace because the way she the way she just said it, it was just it
was so funny to all of us who were there laughing, and and it was
one of the moments that it just made made us realize, like, yeah, this
is just life. You have to enjoy every moment and not take life so
serious. Yeah. Yeah. She she sounds like a remarkable
person. So, very wise woman.
(13:00):
So what was the hardest part of this experience, and how did you
find the strength to keep going? Because I know this is this was something
difficult. Yeah.
Everything. There's, you know, look.
You know, from the moment Christian got sick and that entire time that
year, right, Christian died September first of twenty
(13:23):
twenty one. So we lived one year. You know,
most people who get this diagnosis, young people in particular, by the way,
it's a very rare cancer. It's only seen in
mostly Southeast Asia. It's seen in old people
and, very rare when you find it in young adults. Now
that's that's happening more and more, you
(13:44):
know, more environmental things. Who knows? But,
for whatever reason, children, go quick because I think
it's the metabolism. And so this is a
a very speedy cancer.
But I I look. I think I think it's it's it's the
simplest thing is that, you know, I'm an action guy.
(14:07):
And so, you know, my actions were to to find a way to save
Christian's life. And as as he continued to do the things
he does as a 22 year old. Right? He's home from college just during COVID.
He has friends online and does video games with him or whatever and,
does podcast and does these things. I'm
in the background with my wife and a group just trying to solve these
(14:30):
problems. And they're deep. Right? It's looking in RNA
sequencing and DNA sequencing and and and all and this is the
thing. Christian felt very privileged. He
he always felt overprivileged. Right? He was privileged that
we had the ability to get these things for him, the ability to
seek out the best doctors in the world, to be able
(14:52):
to to do and fly and do all these things. And that's part of
Christian's dissertation that he wrote when he went into college that he promised
that if he survived for whatever reason, that he was gonna dedicate
himself to traveling to be with those people
who were going to be left alone with this kind of disease.
He wanted to be there for them. And so he
(15:15):
he kind of, and, again, he that was
during his life, right, telling us what he was committed to doing. So it kept
us going as a family. He was also quite the
funniest guy you ever met. He had the greatest sense of humor.
It was a multilever level kinda sense of humor. He'd tell me a joke,
and I would be like, Christian, I don't I don't get I don't get the
(15:37):
joke. And then he explained, oh, okay. I'll get it. It's like, it was
like so deep in the the humor level, because he was
brilliant. He had a photographic mind. He was smart.
And, but at at the heart of who he was, he was
incredibly kind to every
individual you ever met from every culture, every
(15:59):
background, race, you name it. Christian was so inclusive of
every human being, and, that was important to
him. And that wasn't reflected in Christian's memorial when he
passed. Over a thousand people showed up for his memorial.
He he he actually helped us. He wanted to have a a
(16:19):
specifically at the church, he wanted to have a,
a a black opera singer sing at his he wanted that.
Like, that he gave us specifics that were important to him, and so we
followed those, to a tee. And so it I
think that he, he kinda gave us all kinds of guides
and helped us along the way in how to navigate this thing. But at
(16:42):
the end, you still lose someone and you watch this go down. It Of course.
We're still living. Just like your mom was there. It's easy for your
not easy, but your mom had come to peace with it all. Right?
Yeah. It's it was easy for her, I suppose. Easy for Christian in the
sense. You know? They had already made peace with it. Us, it's hard to make
peace with those things because you want people to stick around with us forever, and
(17:03):
that's what you want. Definitely. Yeah. In
your book, you talk about gratitude. How do you practice gratitude
in your daily life? So I practice
gratitude the way Christian taught me to, practice gratitude.
Christian, instead of following a to do list,
Christian had a to love list. And so what I mean by
(17:26):
that is as we all do in our lives, we check we have
checkoffs for things that we do in our our daily life or things we need
to accomplish. It's somewhat how we measure, us as
human beings and how we achieve things. Our successes are achieved that way.
Christian would create to love list, and he would create these
lists to, the people he would want to
(17:48):
interact with every day to give as much love out as possible.
So the way that I do it, I follow just his path,
which is I write down every morning to love list. Those I need to
give out as much love to. How many people? How am I going to give
out that love? How many people do I plan to stop and speak with in
that day to give out as much love? And
(18:10):
so I think for me, when you do things like
that, it allows you to fall into a a back
into the present moment. It allows you to see gratitude. See,
gratitude is just a word. Mhmm. They're just words. And people
throw out gratitude. But unless you practice gratitude,
unless you actually stop, think,
(18:33):
look, say it, and do it and put in practice and talk to
people, and put kindness out to people,
that's where I think you see the gratitude of life. Right? That comes back to
you in in in spades. So, that's how I go about
my daily life. I certainly do my prayers in the morning, my prayers in the
evening, and I make a point to say what's good about today every
(18:55):
day. And that's what I when I speak, I tell
people that you can say what's good about today every single day. It's a single
mess sing singular and easy message to say to help
you stop, reflect, and focus on the present moments,
and you will find gratitude. You can find it in so many ways.
And and that's one thing that, that and this year I
(19:17):
started was, actually praying and praying first
thing I first thing in the morning, and then I take a few minutes to
do a breathing technique and just that's how I start off my
day. And so for me, it's been,
especially now with it being a year since my mom passed.
Mhmm. It's it's hasn't it hasn't gotten easier,
(19:39):
but it's like, okay. But you can I you still I still feel
her presence? I I Mhmm. Everywhere I everywhere there's something that
remind me of her, and and and she like, she was
just the kindest person. Like, her house was open to
everyone. Mhmm. It was something that and to me, that's something that
I I I pride myself on is being able to help
(20:02):
help people and and and not not
seek any reward for it because that's not how she was. She was just help
like, anyone who came over from Puerto Rico that was moving over here to The
States, my couch at home was their first
destination because her door was always open. And if it was the first
step for them getting over here and and and making a better life for themselves
(20:24):
over here, she definitely had the couch, and it was like, hey.
You you can stay here as long as you want and and get on your
feet. And and so that day was kind
of looked inside. I I would see this, and and that's something that when I
launched the podcast was I wanna be able to help people. I wanna I wanna
be able to have people come share their stories, share their journeys because there's so
(20:46):
many people out there that need to hear these stories because it's important. With so
much negativity that was going on in the news,
the media, and everything, I I wanted to just focus on
positive stuff, bringing people who who who had stories to
share. And and if someone one person could get
something from any of my episodes, I I'm very proud of that.
(21:08):
Absolutely, Will. And, Will, what is your mom's name? Antonia.
Antonia? Antonia. Yes. Antonia. Antonia.
Well, I am well, your mom would be very proud of you. I know
that. You know, she was sounds like an
incredible woman and kind, and you're just you're passing that through.
Right? And she's looking and she is with here with us right now, so is
(21:30):
Christian. And so they're proud of both of us that we continue to do these
things. And I think you're right. If it helps one person that can hear a
message and can make them stop in their tracks and it can change
their direction in a positive way, to give
out more kindness. That, again, that ripple
effect, that one person can talk to two more people. Mhmm. And so it
(21:52):
just ripples out, and and we'll never know. I
always I fascinate I'm fascinated by this because
we never know the true ripple effects of our own lives on
others until, of course, when we leave this Earth. Right? We'll be able to look
back on it. We'll say, oh, okay. There's
this, this, and this. And so you wanna do as many ripples as
(22:15):
you can. Right? Because I feel like once we get to that point, I hope
they get that my ripples are big enough that they go, hey. That's pretty good.
You got a lot of ripples here. You're Yeah. You're all good to go. But
sounds like your mom was giving out lots of ripples, and, you know,
you're you're doing a good thing. So thanks for, sharing that story.
If Christian can leave one message for the world, what do you think it would
(22:38):
be? Christian's
message? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I
always, Christian's Christian's message is
really one of hope, faith, gratitude,
but it's also about resilience and trusting God's plan.
(22:59):
It's a message that came from Christian himself through the way he lived his
life, the lessons he taught us. Christian believed
that no matter what challenges you you you are feeling and are
facing, there's always something good to hold on to.
And that's just not just a mindset. It it's a testament to the
faith he had in God's love and the belief that everything happens
(23:21):
for a reason. So I think that,
embrace your challenges. And and, ultimately, I always say,
look. I always leave when I speak is make sure you're saying
what's good out today. If you get nothing else out of the conversation, for me
at least, is to remind yourself of what's good about today so you can look
back and see that there is beauty every single day. You
(23:44):
just gotta look and and be present.
How has this journey changed the way you approach business,
leadership, and and decision making?
That's a great question. Well, it's certainly different. I
have you know, I do run, I am the
(24:04):
president of a technology company. It's a national
technology company. I sit on the board for a public,
biotech company, which is, does cancer research. Right?
So, obviously, I have a connection into the cancer research world. The
new technologies are coming down the road. And
so but how it's this experience I
(24:26):
said this before, which is I'm a different guy than I was prior.
I look at the world very differently. I think what I've done
dramatically different is that I look at
everyone as a soul, truly. And I
think that once we stop looking at people as, I guess, just people or
things or I you know, that that's them or what whatever that
(24:49):
is, I look at people as souls. And when I
meet someone, sometimes I don't even meet them, but I they'll pass me and I
go, what and I wonder what about their soul. Like, what what's their story?
Because everyone has a story. Yeah. Everyone has a story,
and everyone has difficulties, and everyone navigates life
difficultly. And everyone who's listening, she was navigating something difficult
(25:11):
no matter what. I have never met anyone who has a cushy life. I mean,
maybe there are some people out there. I don't know who they are, but
I'm sure they're out there. But, I
think it's just, the way I look at people is a lot
differently. And so how I approach business is when I sit across
the table or I'm going through something, I know that this is a soul and
(25:33):
that, you know, I I go through that process. It doesn't
mean I'm not a a negotiator or I don't go through and ask for things
or I want things done. It just means that I approach it,
in a much more, a better way than
I would have in the past because I recognize and I I always try to
keep it light. So I think it just makes me a, I think, a better
(25:55):
person overall by looking at people differently.
Awesome. Awesome.
How did how did you navigate the emotional challenge of being
a father, husband, and business leader while
dealing with such with such a a profound loss?
(26:17):
You're the first person to ask me that question. It's a
great question. Well, I mean, I
I feel very blessed that I run a business that,
that I won't have to go in. I'm I'm the CEO. You know? So
going in allowed me that opportunity to to be able to focus on
my son, which is where a % of my my efforts were going
(26:39):
to. I I shouldn't say a hundred. Maybe there's 1% where I have
to I have to deal with work. But, really,
my mind and focus was saving Christian. But I trusted good
people around me, as part of my business to step
in where I needed them, ask for help when I needed it.
But I never stopped my responsibilities
(27:02):
to others in in the course of my business. You know, I to
work and to continue to drive, you know, the
technology space in which I was in. So it
wasn't easy. It's hard to focus that way because you're
like, who cares? You know? But I'm also responsible for
a lot of people, right, that work for me and people who work under me.
(27:25):
So I knew never try to lose sight of of
my role in that, and I think you you
can't. And and I think people look to
you the same way. Your kids can look to you for strength.
People look to you for strength. They look for you to make good decisions
under difficult sit situations. And so, you know, I've
(27:47):
tried to always emulate being strong under those certain certain
circumstances. And, I think part of that has to
do with the way I was raised. I was raised by a,
I'm good parents, no doubt, very loving parents, but,
my dad was a a navy. They they
call them frogmans back then. They're it's predated the seals. Yeah. So
(28:09):
he's a bit of a tough guy, and and I was a a a wrestler
when I was young. So I I dealt with tough and be going through difficult
things. Nothing like that, of course, but it helped me at least
understand I'm gonna get beat up and I need to fight through things. And
everybody's gonna get beat up. You know? You're gonna get beat up and it feels
like the end of the world and life feels like it's falling apart, but it's
(28:30):
not falling apart. You just need to, you know, go
out there and and and face the challenges. Most people run away
from a challenge. You know? I believe in facing challenges head on.
And if you face them head on, it it it it diffuses a lot of
stress, anxieties, and it can help you achieve greater
things. And, sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. But, hey. So
(28:52):
what? That's life. That's just the way it goes. Yeah. That's that's definitely
the way life goes. You never never know.
It's, and and I've like I said, I've I've
dealt with with loss and everything. It started for me
in, 02/2008 when I'm 31 years old.
My wife passed away in a car accident. Oh, sorry. This is this is
(29:14):
someone I had been with the the beginning years of my
adult life. Mhmm. And and so to lose her, it was
it and and I I I I I didn't deal
with it very well. I I, because it was just after that, it was
just, like, one tragedy after another after another. Because the following
year, I reunite with my dad after not having him in
(29:36):
my life for, like, twenty something years only to lose
him. I go see him Father's Day weekend of o nine.
I get there Friday. Saturday morning, he passes away. And so it was
just just one tragedy we want, and and and I just didn't deal with it
the correct way. I I kinda, but how how does anyone really
know how what what is the correct way to grieve?
(29:59):
It's some it's it's how I I didn't deal like I said,
I didn't grieve. Well, I didn't deal with it the correct
way, but, eventually, I was able to to
seek help and turn my life around and and and and
realize that I'm there's more to me
than than all the suffering and pain. And
(30:21):
the people that that hadn't passed would want me to to
do more of my life. And so once I discovered podcasting
and started podcasting, it it gave me that
purpose. This was something like, okay. I found somewhere
where I have a voice, and people could come share
their their stories. And and it it really has helped me
(30:43):
grow and and and develop as as as a man because
it helped me face what what I what I
for what I've been going through for all those years with,
losing being angry with God.
Mhmm. Saying why me? I was like, why
me? Why he doing this to me? What have and why am I such a
(31:06):
bad person that all this is happening to me? Right. And it took time for
me to realize that it wasn't happening to me. It it it's just it
was a part of life. Right. And so it it was,
it took some time, but I've I've found my
way, and and I've been able to, I
remarried. I have a beautiful wife that's very supportive and and That's awesome.
(31:29):
And and has my back. And so
with everything that's going going on, I it's just it's just made me
stronger. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I all
the you made a point. I mean, grieving is not there's no
any one right way or, you know, grief
hits everybody a very different way. Doesn't mean
(31:51):
anything other than it's just it it's an awful feeling. Mhmm.
Some people fall into drugs and alcohol, and,
I I readily admit that in that short, you know, call it the
that period after Krishna was numb and the family's numb,
that I did didn't turn to to alcohol and some drugs
and things like that that that hit
(32:14):
me, because I thought I could just sleep, you know, and sleep
it off or you know? I don't know. You know? But here's the thing
I'd I'd say. And and I do believe pain,
suffering, they are two different kinds of things, but I do think those things do
bring us closer to God. In many ways, it's this
it's the human condition, but it it it's and I remember
(32:37):
once, you know, my wife or somebody would say why, and it's like, what do
you mean why? I'm like, god,
was okay with his son being put up on a cross and die. I don't
know that I'm you know, how do I get why am I going to be
separated out that somehow I'm not getting the privileges, you know, that
somehow? But, you know, but I think there's two things that help me. And
(32:59):
maybe those who are listening that maybe it will help them. Two things that help
you, I think, is to remain humble before God. Remaining humble and be
in life. Remember that, you know, that humbleness
keeps you grounded, and it's very important. The second
thing that helps me wash away and continue to move forward is
realize you are not in control.
(33:22):
So when you think you're in control, you are not in control.
I've thought I was in control of everything four years ago prior to
Christian's passing. I could control things. I even thought I could save
Christian's life, you know, and prayed more than
anyone else in on the face of the earth and more prayers and
more people and praying, praying. And and that doesn't mean God
(33:44):
didn't hear my prayers. Okay? It's just wasn't
he wanted it more than he than than he was allowed to stay here.
And so I'm not in control of those things. God is fully in
control. So I think once I realize, hey,
Chris. You're not in control. You're just gonna do everything you can while you're here
and do good many good things as you possibly can till god calls me up
(34:07):
and says it's time for you to to get going. So,
and that's okay. I think that relieves a little bit of pressure out of of
me. And so when you let go of that control, it it gives you a
little bit of, a reason for moving forward and doing other
things. Absolutely. And that was something I I had to
realize that I I didn't it wasn't I didn't have control of everything that was
(34:29):
happening. And and when I came to that
realization, it was like, okay. That's when I started really turning
my life from a back turning it back around. I had been homeless
for some time and Right. Was just sleeping from couch to couch,
and and and it it was a struggle,
but, like I said, I I've been able to turn my life around. I'm I'm
(34:52):
married to a a beautiful woman who's very supportive, who's
who's funny, intelligent, and and and understands me.
And then, Is she funnier than you?
Probably not, but
but she tries. She's she's not listening to that.
Okay. So the the okay. So she's my biggest
(35:15):
supporter, my biggest fan. Yeah. She does not listen to my show.
Oh, then you're safe. You can say anything you want. She she doesn't listen to
my show. And people ask, well, why don't you listen to support him? She says,
yeah. I support him. I I wear his T shirts. I wear his merch.
I say that if people ask, I tell him to go check out my husband's
which she does. But she goes, but I I I speak to him every day.
(35:36):
Like, I, like, I don't wanna hear
his podcast. Right. Right. No. Yeah. Listen. That makes
sense. That makes total sense. But you are funnier than her,
so we know that. You know that.
So what role did faith and spirituality play in your healing
process? No. It's everything. Right? I mean,
(35:58):
it's my existence. So faith is without it, I have
nothing. And, you know, you
mentioned about getting angry with God. Of course, I'm angry
at God. And I even talk about this
in the book. Right? Those who have asked me, what's my relationship with
God? What's my wife's relationship losing her firstborn?
(36:22):
I tell you I have a relationship, and that's the thing. I have
a relationship with God. I've said some things to God that
I regret, and I've always apologized to God to say
I apologize, you know, and I hope you forgive me for
that. God does forgive me, and he does understand.
So I say, look. I have a relationship with him and and Christ
(36:44):
and understanding everything that, has been
given to me. So in many ways, I'm a very I I feel very blessed
in what I have. I have there in my lungs. I have my wife. I
have my two kids. I don't have my Christian who was the
center of our universe here at this family for everybody. He's I'm he
was my best friend. He was my wife's best friend and my kid's best friend,
(37:05):
and he was amazing and made us laugh every single
day. But that's not how how it's played in the cards,
but faith is played an absolutely critical
part. And, it played a critical part for Christian. Christian, his name
is Christian, so you can imagine. Mhmm. But, you
know, when Christian before Christian passed, he wanted to make sure that we did
(37:27):
something good as we set up foundation. He wanted
to set up a foundation, which we put in his name, Christian Cochran Legacy
Fund, which is through the Pittsburgh Foundation. He also wanted
us to give back to the church. And so in the middle of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
here here in Pittsburgh in the city center, there's a, this
gorgeous, oldest church in all of Pittsburgh. It's Polish church,
(37:49):
and it sits in the heart of Pittsburgh and lots of people, lots of stores
and bustling. And right there in the heart is six boulders with water
and a memorial garden with Christian's pitcher and his story called the what's good about
today fountain. And it talks about Christian and the legacy in
which he's led. And one of the quotes in it is it says, be kind
to everyone because you never know what someone is going through.
(38:12):
And so that was Christian would always remind us of that. And
so, you know, obviously, faith is is critical in how we
navigate and and asking for help. And,
and so, you know, we it it's it's everything. There's
nothing else. You know? Faith is everything. So I'm I'm I'm on the other side
of Pennsylvania from you. I'm in the Oh, no. Philly. No. I'm in the Pocono
(38:34):
Mountains. Oh, yay. I'm in I'm up in the Northeast. Yeah.
Pennsylvania. But, last year, I went to Pittsburgh for the first time.
Friend of mine, Jeff Ravella, he has a a
podcast, studio Mhmm. In
in Tarentum Tarentum. Tarentum. Yeah. Twenty
eighth. Yep. Up north. Yeah. So so,
(38:57):
so we went we went there and helped him launch his
podcast theater, and, we actually
we're going back this year because we're hosting another two day event at the
September, to celebrate International
Podcasting Day. So we're gonna be there. We're we're trying to
have a networking event Friday night. So any podcast who
(39:19):
wants to come to the theater and do their show live as
well as, having
virtual having virtual guest as well. And
and it it's just it's been amazing to actually and I met Jeff
through podcasting and Mhmm. Through great relationship. He's been he's, become a
real good friend of mine. And
(39:41):
it it was just amazing to go and and help support
him launch his podcast theater, and and now
we're growing that. And and, hopefully, we can get a lot of people to come
and and do live podcast from the
theater itself. And it it it's a it
was, great great time. And That's amazing.
(40:03):
Yeah. And you're gonna and you're coming back? Coming back, Dennis. So I would love
for you to come down to the theater and and check it out. Alright. Okay.
Do you guys ever get downtown, or is it all you stay up in the
North pretty much? Well, it it's he it's the theater. He he he's in, he
lives in New Kensington. And Uh-huh. But the theater's in in Tarrant and
and Okay. And but, we went, when
(40:25):
I went to visit him, I forgot what place he took us to. It was,
the In the city? Not in the well, me and the
wife went into the city. We went into the city. We went actually to,
Rivers Casino. Okay. Yeah. That's a very good guy.
So we, we went around and drove around the city a little something. But,
we plan on, when we go down this next time, because I took a
(40:48):
week off Okay. To go. And and so we're gonna plan we're planning
on, doing doing a little visit around the city.
Well well, if you when you do that, I hope, and you're you're gonna be
in the city. Yeah. The major area is Smallman Street, which is, the Strip
District. Mhmm. And at the end of Strip District, because you're going down
(41:08):
all the shops, you'll see is that big beautiful church and know that right next
to it is the big memorial. So if you're ever down there, you can see
that Memorial if you ever get down there. It's a bustling place. That's where everybody's
going. So I'd I'd tell you to go that area because it's, it's
the booming place of Pittsburgh, the biggest booming place. I'll definitely get
this. I'll go with the wife, and we'll check it out. And yeah. Excellent. There
(41:29):
you go. Something that, like I said, I wanna go down and and because when
we done, we just went for this two days, but now I'm off for a
few days or probably a week. So we might go down earlier probably
Wednesday, Thursday and and and get to travel the go around
the city and and check some of the some of the beautiful sites
in in Pittsburgh. And so It's a good town. It's a good town. Yeah.
(41:52):
It's fun. It's amazing. Yeah. It's a good place to live.
Christian loved it. Christian loved it.
What what what what's what's your biggest hope for those who read
read the book? Well, the
nice thing about I mean, the thing about the book is, every chapter
is a little different. Obviously, there's context to how I,
(42:16):
met my wife. We met in high school. Our high school sweethearts. And
so I I it was important to bring context to the family.
It's not like I'm somebody. You know? I'm a nobody.
But you have to bring context to where I come from and my wife and
how we met and and our only dream of having children. That's been our dream,
and Christian was our first born. And so telling the
(42:38):
stories of Christian of when he was a child, how he interacted with children
is a unique thing. The way he approached life as a
child was unique, and so it carried all the way through. And so I
think, to me, when people have asked me about the book, I tell them it's
a love story. It's a love story about a family, a
family that loves one another who, who,
(43:00):
you know, Christian loved his family so much. He loved us so
much, and and we loved him, of course, so much. But
you he always put us first. We always put each other first and take care
of one another. So I think, yeah, the book,
obviously takes you on a bit of a roller coaster, which, you know, I think
is in is is what it is, which is allows you to see a family
(43:24):
that goes through something, shows you how someone lived a life and how you can
come out on the other side. But at the end of every chapter or details,
you know, there are things to fall back on about that chapter. So you can
always go to the chap end of the chapter and say, what did I just
read or learn? And these are the things that you've learned from that chapter.
So I thought it was, important that people take away
(43:45):
that, you know, here's somebody who led,
this incredible life, extraordinary life, built on
kindness and love. And if I emulate,
a little bit of that, how much we can give back in
this world, would be amazing. So, you know, I've
I've been very blessed that the book is selling very well. I get to see
(44:07):
the report selling overseas. It's on global distribution. So I'm
I'm happy about that. If anybody knows anything, there's no money in books. So this
isn't about money and all goes to Yeah. To the foundation anyway. So
but to me, it's just getting the message out. Right? Yeah.
I get to speak at at in, you know, what, university level
with students. I love to speak at young adult conferences and you know,
(44:30):
because I feel like they're the most impressionable. They think they can never be injured.
They never can be hurt. No. The you know, which most case is
true, but life turns on a dime. And I just wanna make
sure they understand, you know, where to to accept
these that you're in the present and and remind yourself of this, what's good
about the day and and share it with others. And
(44:53):
that's that's my hope of the book, and that's my hope that, people get
from it all the time. How
has your definition of success changed since
this experience? Well,
success is I guess, before it was measured in, do
I have a big enough house, a big enough car, or, you know, I
(45:15):
have enough stuff? Am I keeping up with the Joneses? All
that gobbledygook that means nothing.
To me, success is just I
success is the love. It's so simplistic. See, the the English
language is so it's only got so many words. You know? We all
say the same words over and over. It drives me nuts. You know?
(45:39):
I'm sure in the next life, they'll have lots every word possible, but
I guess it's just success is seen that I help
somebody. You know? When I
do presentations or I speak to others, it's them
bringing their personal stories to me. And if my story resonates with
them and I see good things happening from that, it also goes into
(46:02):
the foundation. And and when we get back to, so in Pittsburgh, like,
we do partner with the charter some charter schools, Propel. It's an inner
city school that was important to Christian. He want us to get back to those
who are less fortunate and, scholarships.
And so when I see that happening and good things happening to
those who have less, that,
(46:24):
gives me a sense of purpose. There's a reason for being here. There's a reason
for for everything. So, you know,
so, yeah, those are the things that I deem as successful. When I
see the joy that someone else gets or they become successful
or they're, they're feeling tremendous love,
they're not alone. They have support around
(46:46):
them, and they can feel it. To me, that's that's the ultimate in
success to me. Not money is not it. I care less about any
of that. I mean, obviously, I need enough to kinda get by, and that's fine
with me. I don't it's not a measure of a person in
in any way. Yeah. I I feel the same way.
It's something that, to me, if if I'm helping
(47:08):
one person, that that to me is is being successful. I don't care about
the metrics, the numbers, any of that. Just the fact that I'm able to
impact one person's life, to me, it's it's a sign of
success to me. Yeah. I think that's that part I talked about is
being humble. Just remain humble and know that you're
not in control. So just do the do all you can
(47:31):
do for others, and, good things will come
your way. Not just in a monetary way. Forget
that. It's the the the love you get back is Mhmm. Can fill up,
especially when you're hurting. Yeah. You know? Your heart is
is is been ripped apart or it's still tattered, and mine's always still feels
like it's tattered. Yeah. Exactly. Always filling it with with
(47:53):
pockets of joy. And so if I can just fill those gaps, it just,
it helps a little bit better, to manage.
Chris, this this has been an amazing conversation. I I'm I'm
honored to have you on the show and and have you come and share Christian's
story. But we've come to a time where you get the the solo screen and
you get to plug away, let everybody know where's the foundation, where they can
(48:16):
get the book, everything. Oh, well well, first, thank you so
much. I'm humbled and honored to be on your show. Thank you so much.
Yeah. People can, I hope you get a chance to get the book? You can
find the book on Barnes and Noble, what's good about today, a purpose driven
life. You can find them at Amazon, Barnes and Noble. Any
major retailer will carry it or will have it sent to you.
(48:39):
The other place you can reach out is on,
christiancochrane.org. That is simply just talks about the
foundation, talks about Christian, shows pictures,
stories, letters, the impact statements, and all
those things, to keep Christian, at the
forefront of everything that I talk about.
(48:59):
ChrisCochranspeaks.com is is my website.
It's what's used just to, book opportunities
for me to get out and and meet with, lots of
people whenever I can. So if you're looking to,
to do that, feel free to do it. If it's just that you need to
to to send a note and need some encouragement, I'll do that too. If you
(49:21):
need to talk to me, I'd be I'm always available to anyone
for to talk. That that's just
something I know I need to do. So, otherwise,
if you don't pick up the book, just remember to say what's good about
today. If you get nothing else, what's good about today? Just remember
it and, keep saying it to yourself.
(49:46):
Once again, thank you so much for being such a great guest and and for
sharing your story. I greatly appreciate it. But
don't leave this yet. Let me close out the show, and we'll chat a little
bit off the air. Sure. But, thank you so much for being such a great
guest. Thanks, Will.
Alright, everybody. Another great episode is is in the books.
(50:07):
It's something that really I take really
personal, especially with every everybody knows everything that's been going on with me
in the past and everything. So this is a very important topic to me.
Like I said earlier, no one can tell you how to grieve.
You always have to find your your own way to to grieve,
and and some people might
(50:30):
think it's wrong, but it's it's your way of dealing with it.
As always, big shout out to my RealWise fam, Papi j,
Brandy j. Love you guys. Big shout out to the boss lady. Appreciate
everything you do for me. If you haven't subscribed
to the podcast, please do hit the notification bell.
And and to all the essential workers out there, god bless y'all.
(50:53):
Be safe. You know, your boy wise does it. Peace
out.