October 30, 2025 • 47 mins
In this insightful episode of the Stuck In My Mind Podcast, host Wize El Jefe welcomes Dr. Denise Trudeau Poskas—also known as Dr. Dee—an international speaker, leadership coach, and co-founder of Blue Egg Leadership. With over two decades of experience helping leaders thrive, Dr. Dee. draws on the powerful intersection of neuroscience, communication strategy, and positive psychology to equip others to lead bold, purpose-driven lives.
Wize opens the conversation by inviting Dr. Dee to share her journey from traditional leadership to full-time coaching. Dr. Dee explains how curiosity—and even initial skepticism about coaching—sparked her academic pursuit for a PhD in leadership, eventually revealing to her the solid framework and transformative power of certified coaching. She discusses the differences between leadership and management and the pivotal role that active listening and effective question framing play in empowering others.
The episode dives deep into the science behind leadership, as Dr. Dee brings neuroscience and communication strategy to the forefront. She highlights how our brains respond to "trigger words," why patterns of language can dictate behavior, and how understanding these patterns allows leaders to break free from self-limiting cycles. Wize shares his own experience discovering a trigger word after undergoing a dramatic weight loss journey, giving the discussion a personal touch.
Listeners gain practical advice on building personal grit and resilience through setbacks and reinvention. Dr. Dee shares her SALC (Structures, Attitude, Leadership, Compassion) approach and the "Team Phenomenon Model," both designed to foster synergy and accountability within organizations. She underscores why emotional intelligence is foundational for any healthy team culture and offers tools for mastering time, mindset, and communication.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur, corporate leader, or someone feeling “stuck” in your current role, this episode is packed with actionable strategies—including Dr. Dee's “Stuck Cycles” self-assessment—to help you diagnose your barriers and reignite your passion for authentic leadership. Dr. Dee wraps up with a forward-looking view of leadership in a fast-paced world, the importance of continual growth, and an optimistic vision for communities of support that help leaders thrive.
Tune in to be inspired to lead with courage, resilience, and intention—and to discover why the journey within is just as important as the outward impact you make.
Key Topics Discussed:
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Dr. Dee’s path from higher education to coaching
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The science of coaching and leadership frameworks
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Neuroscience insights for effective communication
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Handling trigger words and emotional triggers in the workplace
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Building grit, resilience, and self-leadership
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The SALC and Team Phenomenon frameworks
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Mastering time management and mindset
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Cultivating synergy, optimism, and an emotionally intelligent team culture
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Practical steps to overcome feeling stuck as a leader
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Insights into Blue Egg Leadership’s retreats, masterminds, and upcoming releases
Visit BlueEggLeadership.com and StuckCycles.com for resources, self-assessments, and more from Dr. Denise Trudeau Poskas. If you’re ready to step into your boldest, wisest self as a leader, this episode is for you!
https://sleek.bio/realwizeglobal
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Sa
(00:32):
Foreign
and welcome to another episode of Stuck in My Mind podcast. I'm
your host, Wise and today's guest
has spent over 20 years coaching and equipping. And equipping,
(00:52):
equipping leaders to build bold, purpose driven lives and
transformative coaches. Dr. Denise Trudeau Puskas
is an international speaker, coach and co founder of Blue Egg
Leadership. She combines neuroscience, communication
strategy, positive psychology and decades of leadership experience
to help her clients master communication time and mindset
(01:15):
while embracing grit and resilience. Let's welcome the Stuck in my
mind podcast. Dr. D. Hey.
Hello. So good to be here. Oh, the pleasure's mine. Thank you for being
a guest. I appreciate your time. So Dr. D, what inspired
to leave traditional leadership roles and step into coaching full time?
Oh, great question. Well,
(01:38):
I started coaching to be a better leader, actually. And
so as I started noticing that it's such a good tool
for leadership, I also had people come to me and say, can you help
my company? And that started branching out
and more and more than I realized, you know what, maybe I want to
remove all formal roles in leadership and simply do coaching.
(02:00):
So that was over a decade ago that I said, I will do
soul coaching. And I loved it ever since.
So. So you've been coaching for over 10, over 10 years. What was your,
your first. I know this is my calling moment. Like, what was that
moment that you was like, yeah, this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
You know what's, what's interesting is. So you saw I have a
(02:24):
PhD in leadership because I wanted to study to be a better leader. And
coaching came about. So that was in 2000 something. And we won't go as
far back as how that is, but I looked at coaching
as a fluffy thing. And so I did my dissertation
to prove that coaching did not have a framework.
Right. So it wasn't like, oh, I feel called to, I feel called to
(02:47):
dispute it. And what I found in the research
talking to very, very well qualified
certified coaches is it. Wow. It really does have a framework.
And not only that, it was. I started seeing how the tools of active
listening, what questions versus why questions,
how it really empowers those around you. And I was very interested in
(03:10):
transformational leadership, which is all about, you know, intellectual
stimulization, getting people empowered, helping them to grow.
That's probably then. So after about 10 years using it
with my leadership, I was like, ah, this, this
is very powerful and it should go across just what I'm doing
to other people. So probably mid 2000, I
(03:33):
thought, you know, I'M going to do more of this because I really feel
like leadership is so important and more than
that, so many people mix it up with management. And
when you're coaching, you, you cannot manage people. You are leading
people or you're designing an alliance with them to
grow. So that's my big turnaround is like, oh my gosh. It has a
(03:56):
framework, it is powerful. It's a technique, especially
certified coaching. I would just clarify that, you know, you have to learn certain
skills and it is, we're not advice
giving anymore. It's like a freedom, like just uncover what people
need for themselves there the way there's wisdom. So.
Absolutely. So, so how did your background in higher education and
(04:19):
leadership influence your approach to coaching?
If you think about it, the higher education
was I wanted to prove research based.
So I. You learn in there that
you can't just take it for granted that something can change, your behavior can
(04:40):
change. So that influenced me to think about.
I. When I'm coaching, I give baselines, inventory,
we assess the behavior. I want to make sure people feel
through the research that they are truly
expanding, expiring and transforming. So that was
probably the biggest piece, the second piece. Working in
(05:02):
higher ed, you know, running something like a program,
you learn a lot of facets of leadership and the politics of
people in management. And you really need to be
grounded in the being, you know, and the
appreciating people to be a really good leader, not just the
role or what's the next step. And so stepping
(05:24):
away from that and realizing that's what I wanted to bring to coaching was very
powerful for me. So, so what
drew you to neuroscience and communication strategy
as tools or leadership? Yeah, I love
that question. When I started studying just how
much people avoid communication
(05:47):
like, or they think like communication means I'm talking to you,
therefore I'm communicating. I realized
we, we need to research this some more and I started exploring
neuroscience because they can tell us exactly what our brain is doing in
those moments. You know, so there's three brain science, now there's
neurobiology. They can inform what is exactly
(06:08):
happening in our communication. So from that
I realized that could give me granular ideas with
my clients. Like for example, we
say there's trigger words and then there's neuro words. So we start there.
What are words that if you're going to use, those are most likely going to
trigger the person across from you? I thought that was very beneficial to have
(06:32):
like the insight around that, like kind of like a little
nugget of
wisdom that we can depend on. And
so as a field has grown, also
so many of those studies have. Teaching us about the ability, you
know, as your podcast talks about in the mind, how so many people just
(06:54):
repeat patterns. Patterns of language creates your
pattern of belief, creates your pattern behavior. I find that
fascinating. And that we could break it. Right. I just find that. Oh, you could
break it at any time. I thought that was
formed. Yeah. It's funny you mentioned trigger word, because earlier this
year, I kind of found one of my trigger words. Oh, yeah,
(07:16):
you did? What did you. Can you share? Like, how did you
find that? It wasn't a good situation,
but, yeah, I found one of my trigger words. And. Yeah.
And it's. It's. It's. It's free. Okay. So, yeah,
in January, I had gastric
bypass surgery because I was almost 100 pounds.
(07:40):
Wow. And so I'm now down to 250.
Amazing. And so
someone at work said something about my weight,
but I had. But this is already. When I had already lost some weight,
and it triggered me. It got me upset, and I was like,
I'm like, hold on. How are you calling me this thing?
(08:03):
And I've lost so much
weight. It's like. It just. Just kind of, like, hit you.
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, it's a true thing. And what
happens is when we get triggered, didn't it, like, sit with you and just kind
of make you feel like you couldn't breathe or just. It just. It
just. Just kick you off? I was. I was so
(08:24):
angry, like, because in my mind, I'm thinking about, like, the work I've
put into. Yeah. Like validate that. Me,
like, eating and. And changing the way I eat. And after surgery and doing all
these things, like, I'm like. I'm like, I.
I've lost all this weight. And if you'd even say something,
I. I was just. I was pissed. I was just. Yeah, yeah.
(08:46):
Went off on the person. And then I had. I apologized. But, yeah.
No, I discovered one of my trigger words. So.
Yeah. Well, what you said is very true. And
we get triggered mainly because they're not
validating something about us. Yeah. That
they probably can't see. But that's why we get triggered.
(09:08):
So what struggles did you face early. Early in building your coaching process?
And how did you overcome that? Oh,
well, people don't think they need coaching. Right.
Even though they see it in the NFL and all your sports. And it's
a very different thing. And now with
AI, people are really thinking, oh, yeah, I can just type something up. And it
(09:31):
will counsel me and it won't. So it's really.
I was lucky, actually, because I had started coaching on the side when I was
still leading, and so I could run into a six figure coaching
business right off the bat. But
the challenge was also knowing what tools and what certifications
were valid for learning. People say, well, you
(09:54):
can just. You like talking to people. You can coach. It's not true,
right? It's not true at all. Oh, no. I've taken some courses and
training to. Yeah. Get certified. Yeah,
that's something, that was something I said when I started podcasting and
I started setting my goals. Being certified as a coach was
one of my goals. And it took me time, it
(10:17):
took me to work and study and learn. And like you said, there's certain things
you use, techniques you use and things you learn to help
guide you along with coaching. So. Yeah, no, you can't. Just
because I know the work I've put into what I'm doing.
I'm helping other people build podcasts. But at the same time, I,
(10:38):
I've learned, I've learned from my experience of building my own
podcast of showing and coaching people how to build, how to
build shows and how to do different. So, yeah, no, I feel you. I understand.
Like, yeah, right. You can't just say, well, I think I'm just
going to call myself a coach now. Yeah. And that, that has
been the theme the last five years. You'll see a grow. They said the grow
(10:59):
coaching is one of the fastest growing. But it's
not the certified people. It's. Instead of people saying, I'm a
consultant now, turn coach. Not like you said, not without the
proper skill set. You can't. It's very different, isn't it? Like,
and you invest in that training and it's, it's listening
at a whole different level. So. And it's going back and
(11:22):
just like, it's, it's not
easy. It's when you, when you're
trying to build something and. Yeah. You just
can't come. Oh, yeah. I think I'm just gonna
say I'm a coach now.
Everybody, even football coaches. Right.
(11:45):
Well, one of the most great, the greatest actors in the world,
Denzel Morrison, has admitted that he has an acting
coach continually. Right. Yeah.
That's the only way you're going to improve is with someone helping you and
critiquing you and showing you like, hey, this is where you can work on this
or you can do that. So, yeah. And so,
(12:06):
and so you've done that in Your business too, I'm sure. Right. Where you have
to realize sometimes my perspective is, is,
you know, our perspective is limited. We need somebody from the outside to
continually work on our blind spots. And that's what
the power of, you know,
coaching is. It's. It's helping us uncover the things we don't necessarily want
(12:28):
to uncover or see the thing, things that we didn't see.
And that is, that's a huge skill set for people. And that's why,
as you said, you do want to look for a certified coach, because
it is a skill set. They had a practice, they had to go through it.
They had to go through the rigors. They're not just putting a sign. I
am this because I like people, you know, a little more than that.
(12:52):
Right. So what, what role does grit and
resilience play in your own story?
Well, similar to most people. And you're successful
at what you did, probably. And you'll say, for the same reason
I, it took grit. Sometimes when you're just shot down and
you're like, this is BS and I don't know if I want to do this
(13:14):
anymore, there's a part of you that just kicks in gear
and says, I don't care what anybody else thinks.
This is something that's important for me to do and I'm going to do it,
even if I don't know how I'm going to do it.
And it is, even in the midst of
it could be something negative that happens, an event that happens. But
(13:37):
grit is that piece that I had to
change and adapt from. So it means also,
like, for me, it was you. When you go to, from a leadership
role, like a formal leadership role, you kind of have that
little credibility where you walk in a place
and grit says you don't need the role, you just need to be
(14:00):
and show up the best you can and
keep the ego out of the way. Because our, our egos, I think
they love to play the game, don't they? They love to love to come into
the arena with us. So that's great. Resilience is
getting slammed down one time after another. So, for
example, like, when I started the business, it was six figures rolling, right?
(14:23):
But it was all referral. There's a time where you we're going to hit a
wall on that. There just is a time. And I hit that after three
years, and then it was kind of like bored with what I was doing.
I was doing emotional intelligence. And it's still very powerful. Don't get me wrong,
it's Very powerful. But we do need to know when we need
the next challenge. And I always think resiliency is when
(14:46):
something just, you hit a wall and you're
like, I'm going to either have to get really good at something new or I'm
going to have to pivot here some way. And that was
me after three years. Like, actually I like this
neuroscience piece and, and loving science. I thought no
one was studying it at the time. And coaching, I thought it's just my path.
(15:08):
I'm going to be fascinated. Keep emotional intelligence.
So the resilience is really not looking at
like what is everybody else doing? What am I
informed or excited about learning as it applies to, in this case,
coaching or. And leadership. And I don't know if you've
had those times where people did something
(15:30):
or said something in leadership and you're like on the outs.
That's, you know, you have to be able to say, what do
I learn here, what I lean into and what am I going to let go?
And that's, that's my mantras for resiliency. And that's
what I teach my clients too. Whatever entrepreneur
field they're in. We're going to need resiliency because.
(15:53):
Because the responsibility lies on us to
keep growing. Right? Right. No one else is going to rescue our
businesses. Yep. So tell us about blue
egg leadership. Where did the name and vision come from?
The name is based in color psychology. So
I'm going to tell you, the vision is not as flamboyant or flashy as
(16:17):
you would want it to be. It was very
kind of boring. I was from, I was speaking
and I came back and I was just jogging out and I gravel road in
the middle of nowhere because I didn't know where I was at the time.
And I started thinking about a book child title
called the Blue Egg in the lion or the and it was a
(16:38):
juxtaposition on, on things. So.
And I thought, you know what, actually blue egg, when you look at
color psychology, it has a good ring to it for a business because
blue, the color psychology means calm, clear,
assertive egg. If you look in the Greek
terminology of what an egg is, it means unlimited potential to be
(17:01):
tapped, to continually grow. And
so I'm like, I never wrote the book,
got inspired and left it there. But I did use the, the blue egg
together pulled the lion out because I thought that's too much. People are not going
to understand courage piece. So that, that's how, how boring it
was. But it worked, right? Yeah, it worked
(17:22):
exactly. You Just said it worked. So. Yeah, yeah.
So what is the approach, the, the SALC approach and
how does it work in practice? So the Salk method
is. Here's the thing with,
you know, clients come to you or business all have to face
(17:42):
mastering our time and energy. That is like our foundation. Right.
So, and salt, that's your structures, they change
as you grow. You need to change with them. Right. The second thing
is how do you lead a team? If solopreneurs would be leading their self
and a leader, it's leading yourself and a team.
So that's your attitude and your leadership. Like how do you keep
(18:04):
working on your mind game? Always, always the mind
game. Would you say that is a big part of it? Leadership, of course,
is we really like the concept of
people taking responsibility for the ripple effect in their, their
cultures, of their companies. So if their company is one
to, to 20 million, that's anywhere from teams of three to,
(18:27):
you know, 40. That's what we love playing the game with because they
really resonate with that. So the leadership
is, they're still doing their growth mindset. They keep doing that
so that they can communicate with neuro language better and better with their
teams and exponentially
that leads right to the creative compassion piece.
(18:50):
That means I care as much about my team as
the business profitability. They go hand in hand. They're
together. So my, my C's are my contribution, my compassion and my
courage to lead and to expect the people around
me to grow and continue to grow. It's kind of a
framework. Awesome.
(19:12):
So how does your team phenomenal phenomenon model work? Help leaders
build powerful teams. Well, so we start.
This is always funny because, you know, you've heard of other
entrepreneurs, but they always think they're going to fix someone else. You know, in a
team, they got to fix that person. There's a book called Fix
difficult people or that person was, you know, something about
(19:34):
help difficult people. And that just personified that the
problem is out there. Our phenomenon says
the problem is starts with you, but you get to be a
better leader. So we say lead wherever you are. Lean into the conversation
and let go of the frustration. And
(19:55):
when we talked about neuroscience earlier, there's so much if
I am frustrated and I don't process that
every everybody else is that everybody else that's in the room
is going to feel that that's just the way mirror neurons work, that we are
just connected with people. And so
what we say is that what you want to do is be account,
(20:18):
help people be accountable, but make sure it's not
personalized. Make sure it's very objective. This is what
needed to be done, this is when it will need to be done and this
is what it will look like not you failed to do this,
I don't know if I can trust you and blah blah blah, you know that
we get it very personalized versus an objective. This is
(20:38):
what is clearly the path for you to succeed.
So that phenomenon teaches emotional intelligence at the core. It's like
emotional intelligence which is how do we deal with other people,
how to deal with ourselves, how do we make decisions and how do we have
well being. And then from that we use the Salk
method of having compassion for people to grow.
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That means holding them accountable and making sure the right people
are in the right roles. Some
people just really want to do so well for teams and
they're, you know, you've met that person, they can do really well. But it
takes all their energy in that field and people sometimes will keep them in there.
What we say is find their unique ability and let them lean
(21:23):
into that. Don't have them do everything. Don't trust that they know themselves well
enough to say yes, this would be my job, I will do this well.
Really give them opportunities for self awareness. Whether it's like a
Myers Briggs Inventory, curse disorder, strengths find
there's like a ton of tools that will bring to the table. Just because
when people become more aware of their strengths, they're going
(21:46):
to unleash those in your company, in their team. Right.
And I suppose a third thing really important is helping them
have a culture of how they're going to speak to each other, what
is not allowed. Like we talked about trigger words we really work
on. They get a page of trigger words and a
page of not trigger words that they can start off with. Right.
(22:09):
So it's really about not projecting
your pain onto other people. It's about
uncovering what they're curious about, using language
that supports them. Even if you're frustrated, it's like have that
conversation with them directly, not other people. So
we really study on
(22:30):
transparency with perception, which means this
is how I'm feeling. This is my perception of what happened. I want to uncover
that with you or I want to clear that up with you versus you
did this. And I did, you know, I didn't do this. It's really
understanding that you've heard the Elber us. Well, however
we see the world is how we see the world. Whatever we believe about the
(22:53):
world, we believe about the world. We see the world. So we really have them
step back and say, so remember, this is a perception. Not
everybody's going to have the same view as you. How do you honor that
in that, in that teaching cult or team and teaching culture? And
you'll find that there's a. Just the more we study that the synergy goes up
as there's camaraderie. And now you know more than ever,
(23:15):
there's so many disconnected people that
when they get to know that there's a safety in that team,
there's somebody has their back, that people are going to talk
with respect. It's just literally
unlimited how much they can grow. Yeah.
So you've coached leaders in Fortune 500, healthcare, higher ed
(23:38):
and more. What challenges are universal across all
industries?
Let's see. I'm picturing that one. I
think the challenge is
if the company thinks
(23:58):
it's a person and they have only this much time to
fix themselves. Right. And they're not really
buying into the system that we are going to invest people in
their growth and support that.
That's a continual issue because people will invest
in. They learn this knowledge. Right. Easily.
(24:21):
They'll learn a new computer skill, they'll learn a new technical skill
because it's very. To them, they think that's very measurable. They learned it, they passed
it, they have it. The challenge with coaching is
that people perceive that there should be a deadline on that.
And coaching actually is a discovery. It's un.
(24:41):
Covering for people their awareness of themselves and their
awareness of other people within themselves. And so sometimes
the challenge would be, well, you have six months fix this person versus
you have six months. Let's see what we can uncover, help that
person transpire, and let's give them a personal leadership development plan. We're all
about that. But it shouldn't be
(25:04):
secular. It should be connected to a bigger piece. Does that make
sense? So sometimes they'll say, you have one person fix
that person and hopefully they'll have a ripple effect on 40 people.
Right. That's not necessarily
how that works because they're learning as they are leading
and they still need support of other people learning some of those
(25:26):
tools. Yeah. So
how do you help clients master communication time
and mindset in real practical ways?
Real practical ways. So let's take an.
We dig into those and stroke. A genius is our mastermind. We'll dig
into each of those. They. They correlate, don't they? I mean, they do
(25:50):
time and energy. And so we'll start
with something and based in neuroscience that our brains love
three and so to map our time, what we do
is 1, 2, 3. The highest impacts that you
want to have in the day, you put them at the beginning of the day.
You don't fill a little checklist, right. You do a capture list. So you're thinking
(26:11):
about what I'm going to do for this week and then you do
the high impact. That means they have a high impact on your business. That, that's
my client. So they have a high impact in your business. Then
there is high impact, high energy. That's still yours because
it's a, it's something you're learning. But then you have these whole bunch of the
things that, that entrepreneurs love to play with. This is low impact. I'm going to
(26:34):
do some social media right now, but it's not their game or
low impact, high cost. I'm going to try to do some of my own
accounting. So what we do is first shape
what your brain really works well with, which is not checklist. It's
about focusing on three big things. And then
the other thing would be they learn what we call
(26:57):
time base where you put the same thing together
like, like emails together. If you're creating something,
you put that together, your, your mind works better on that.
So those are some how we introduce. They literally have a
formula and a time tracking piece that they can
plug in and it watches them because most high
(27:19):
achievers over schedule themselves and then
right then they feel bad because I didn't get that done, then I'll do this
and they continually do that. So we, it's really a big change that we're not
having you over schedule anything. We're looking for high impacts and then we'll
chunk the other ones. Right. That helps a master
energy. So master and energy is around coaching
(27:41):
tools. Probably the most powerful one I
created that people really resonate with is called the three circles.
But you will, they'll take an event. So I had a new
client this morning, he had taken the event that has got him
triggered, you know, and you know how that feels. Oh my gosh. You know. And
he, he got triggered Friday and he was still triggered on the
(28:03):
call. And so you take the event that were
you were triggered with and you process it. So the first circle is
what's the data? What was the thing said or the information like date is
the data. It happened outside it have insight but
there's no interpretation in the first one. The second one, what's your
interpretation? So you write it out and your subconscious will
(28:26):
like throw a whole bunch of things you didn't realize. I felt like they.
Because they said that I was rejected. I felt like I failed as a
business person. These are some things that came up for him. And then
finally, the third circle is we
have to cross off anything not helpful. Because if it's not helpful,
it's going to be a hindrance. It's going to put us in what we call
(28:47):
stuck cycle. And a stuck cycle is a very, very
demoralizing thing for a business person. But they get stuck in these
stuck cycles quite often. So what you do is you cross
it off and your brain will see that you have crossed it off. It takes
the emotion out and says, okay, there's gotta be other options.
(29:07):
So the third circle is anything that gives you compassion, compelling, take an
action and allowing you to reset, you can
write, rewrite it in there. So the interpretation is, instead of I
failed as a business person, I'm learning from this event
as I speak, which is true. He learned from this
person, leaving them just like that. I am learning already that
(29:29):
I need to do something differently here. So by the time they get to
the third circle, they have processed it. Not, you know, not stuck it down.
They have processed, processed it. And it builds resilience in the brain because
the brain says, okay, now I know how to go back to my higher
brain and say, let's, let's solve this. Because it's not just about me.
It's about the, the bigger piece that we're doing here in our business.
(29:52):
So those are some examples. Like I said, we also use inventories
for self awareness. We use a lot of different
coaching tools in the moment. They love reflection.
They don't, but they love forgiveness letters. That's probably the
worst thing they hate, but it's the most powerful. Forgiveness letters are
very important. Of course you don't send them, but it's one of my
(30:14):
favorite. If they're stuck, I'll have them do a forgiveness letter. And either they'll get
unstuck so they don't have to do the forgiveness letter, or they'll do the forgiveness
letter and they'll find something really clever that
was hidden underneath. Fascinating. It's fascinating what our
subconscious will do. So. So what do you believe the future of
leadership looks like in a rapidly changing world?
(30:36):
Well, I, I can tell you how I hope it would look like. Okay, I
really hope it looks like
because the research keeps showing
depression is higher and higher. Right. People. 60%
of people spend their day in distraction.
They're spending 23 minutes trying to get back to their first original
(30:59):
Thing that they were doing. 70% of executives, even
in small companies talk about being burned out.
So my hope is that everything just
focuses a little better on the merit of
contribution. Contribution to our team,
contribution to myself, care about ourselves.
(31:21):
And they do utilize coaching and
or some form of that therapy so people can uncover these old
patterns that keep them stuck talking
to each other in a negative way or not being held accountable.
But instead of making a policy, they make a practice. A
practice to respect each other, a practice to endorse the other
(31:43):
person, a practice to learn how to do acknowledgement.
That would be a wonderful way that leadership would go that
they decide to. We're going to be leadership, not management.
And there we're going to. Right. We're going to take on
a transformative way. Even if it takes a little more investment.
They care enough that they think about like a
(32:06):
transformational leadership culture. It's so powerful when they do that.
That's where I would hope it goes that it keeps growing in that coaching
or even, you know, cognitive behavior therapy
grows in interaction. You know, not just reading about it. That's
not going to change a behavior or practice. But really
they take that more seriously and utilize it as
(32:29):
an asset to build a powerful team. Okay,
but for someone who's listening, who feels stuck in leadership, what's
the first step to shift? Well, I would like to
share. I created assessment that really has helped
my clients start with figuring out where should I
even start? Because about we did a focus group and we found
(32:52):
out like eight out of nine people assessed
where they were wrong incorrectly. So we
created a Stuck Cycles inventory. So you can take
it, we made it a short version stuck cycles.com but
you take that and figure out what, what is the area that
is the stuck right now.
(33:16):
Right. And we take that piece and say,
okay, so most people say I'm in burnout, but they actually
really probably aren't. They might be an emotional flatlining or in
the perfectionism loop. And so what we do is take that and
say, that's the state that you're stuck in. We'll move you
into now let's look at your business. What part of that with the
(33:38):
operational risk assessment. But when they
realize, hey, this does happen to people and if I
diagnose it, if I take this inventory it, I can, I
can diagnose it. And they can even do the inventory for free. And
it'll give you one or two steps to take. I mean, just to get people
started. And it will say
(34:00):
specifically take these steps for that area and people
feel more validated that they
realize this is, this happens to high achievers. They get stuck cycles
and on average stuck cycle stands
about six to eight months because we misdiagnosed
it. So this will say, hey, get started on this
(34:23):
path. Feel hopeful because it's not you, it's just your brain.
It's not your fault and you have
a lot of resources to get started on that path.
Awesome. So, so how do leaders create that
environment based on how do
(34:43):
kind of leadership leaders create that environment of synergy and
optimism for their team? Oh yeah. So that's, I'm
going to go to the fact that on all of my work I
found the first thing you do is you start with emotional intelligence,
like inventory, not over the counter self
diagnosis book but like really
(35:05):
get an assessment of where your team is at and yourself.
Like where do you rate on this eqi? Because
then you're going to know the gaps. It's just nice to have data
to help you instead of just I think I'm doing this. I always say
find the data that will support the, the path.
So starting there they can get a coach to do it. They, there's people
(35:29):
that just take them like and that's
all they do is give you the eqi. So I do the bar on eqi.
It's probably the most research widely valid one.
And so let's just get that baseline of where
are people at and in there. The first action to take is
create a culture code. And by that I mean how are
(35:51):
you guys going to support each other? What are the words you're going to use
and what is the phrases that our culture is
about like innovative capacity, resilience through
challenge. Like what are those phrases that say this is how we
show up for each other even if you're not showing up for it now. But
where do you want to go? That's the vision. Where do we want to
(36:12):
go? And the third thing is when you start
mapping that, how are we going to get there? Who's going to help us with
that? Are we going to start reading something about it
that's a cheat, you know, a very inexpensive way, you know, read a great
book like the Mountain is you or Brene Brown's, you
know, daring greatly. Any. I mean it's a start, it's something. Right?
(36:33):
Yeah, of course. Right. So somewhere. Yeah.
And so come commit to being
a growth minded culture. So that would mean you guys learning to do
something together. Whether it's starting with a book, it's hiring a coach
to do like we do a lot of programs within a company and then they
can take the program over, but it is. So
(36:55):
it's knowledge which people find easy to get and that's where they stop.
Then there's application, the practice, which is uncomfortable. And then of course,
you know, discovery. It means, wow, we all practice and, and now
we talk to each other very differently and hey, I have
insight. And so those are the first three steps
that are so powerful for
(37:18):
any leader and they can do it at whatever level. But just start with
those three steps. It's a very
good platform to begin from. So
what's next for you in Blue Egg? Leadership books, programs, new
projects. Yeah, I love that. So we. I
am doing more international
(37:41):
speaking. I started some of that like 15 years ago, but I'll do more of
that. But Blue Egg in general, we are have a program
called Stroke of Genius that we're inviting national, international
entrepreneurs, anywhere from 1 to 20 million that just want
the, the whole tool set. We have a community
environment. They have a little extra trainings in there.
(38:04):
We're really excited about it because it's a live community and it's
a mastermind every Monday,
three times a month. And they stay with us. Sometimes they're their year,
sometimes they're two years, sometimes it's six months. So we
revamp that using that online community
(38:24):
program called School. You probably heard of that. Love it.
I finished my first book and it's coming out October,
middle October, called Bounce the hidden power of disappointment.
And starting my next one, I think it's called defragging the ego, which would
be fascinating. And we are launching mini
retreats. Some entrepreneurs are just starting
(38:47):
out and they just need three to four hours to generate some hope and
some ideas. So we have many retreats happening.
October, Halloween is our stuck cycle one. And then November
5th is our find your soul path,
which again, they're virtual so anybody can attend, but they're very
engaging and it's not like showing up on
(39:09):
a zoom and having your, your camera off. You are there, you're
engaged, you get free information, you're coached in a moment. So we
do our cultures for our mindsets very well even if they're virtual. So
we're very proud of that. So those are sub programs that we're
unveiling to help more and more entrepreneurs because
they're. I really feel like they're going to need it this year and on. They're
(39:30):
really going to hit some economic cycles. Some things
that are happening out there, they really need to be in a
mastermind with other people to promote that
resiliency, spontaneity, but also
hope, like hope I can do something and it's going to make a
big difference. That's amazing because
(39:52):
I'm actually working on having a retreat here.
But next year I'm working on getting all the details together and the goal
is for next fall is to have a three to four day
retreat with podcasters where I have. And
it's like, it's amazing that I've built some amazing, great
(40:13):
relationships with people. And when I've already, I've told them about, they're like, oh, so
you know I'm coming to speak, right. So a lot of my friends are coming,
they're volunteering themselves. Like, yeah, I want to be a
part of this. This is something that's major and definitely want to be a part.
So yeah, that is huge. I'm blessed to have. And
they're all like, tell us, tell me what you need me to help you do
(40:35):
get this going. So that says a lot about you then, doesn't it? This
is a lot that they were like, they already know that the potential is so
powerful and would you say people need people? I mean people
want those three day retreats in person and eventually we'll get
to those. But because they are, they need
a, a community. They need to be in, in person with
(40:58):
people. There's too much times when they're not. Listen, virtual
has been great for me. It's helped me build my platform
and it's helped me connect with so many different people. But like
you said, you need those moments where you need to connect with somebody
and. Yeah. And just do and be able to do something
and have that interaction where you're working together. Yeah.
(41:21):
Unplugged. That's what I like about the three day retreats and we've done those and
we'll do one next year, hopefully international. But what's so wonderful
is you're telling them to unplug from all those things, come
here and there. Anything's possible in those
retreats because they're in a new environment. There's no anchors. You're
telling them what's possible and then they're also connecting with other people,
(41:43):
which is so powerful. So I'm excited to hear that you're doing that. That's going
to be phenomenal. Yeah, I'm going to reach out to sponsors have
because I want to set up locations where they can collaborate and record court
together and it's gonna be different things. Gonna have workshops on, on how
to Build your podcast. If you don't. If you don't, don't have one, or if
you already have one. I have people who do marketing. I have people who do
(42:05):
their. So it's. It's amazing.
And like I said, a lot of them already like, hey, you know, I'm coming
down to speak, right? And, and, and one of the reasons also was
gives me an opportunity also. It builds myself a platform
for I can go do my speaking and talking and
put myself out there and give myself. So
(42:28):
it was credibility. Yeah, a lot of
just different things. It was just such. When it hit me, because it was
a friend. We had a great someone that I recorded a show with.
She had gone to Rasheed and she told me about it. I'm like, man, we
could really use something like that here on the east coast. And
(42:48):
we don't. Like, a lot of the podcasting events are going on in
Florida and Texas and like here in. In Northeast,
we don't really be having anything. I like, I would love to put something together
where at least 20, 20 to 25 people, 30
podcasters come together and, and just build and, and grow together.
That would. Oh, that would be so powerful. And like you said, it's much
(43:10):
needed there, needing help with scaffolding retreats. I'm a natural
at it. It's fun. But yeah, so that's cool
that you had an insight and vision and now you're making it happen. Right?
Isn't that so powerful as an entrepreneur? And
it's a platform that you can not only share and help other people,
but it would give back to you as your own entrepreneur. You. More
(43:33):
people get to know you and the gift that you bring, and they're like, oh,
I don't maybe want to do this, but can we. We do that right?
Very nice. Very cool. So. So what legacy do
you. Do you want your work to lead for future generations
of leaders? I would say
my mission statement is to unlock people's soul that it's just been
(43:57):
covered. That's not to find it. It's just uncover it and
let them be their best self here and on their time that
they're here. That. That's what I'm
passionate about later is too. And. And the work I do. My
clients work hard sometimes on themselves, you know, they really do.
But the reward is when, you know, 10 of them are in a room
(44:20):
talking about and just feeling that awe of. I
led with highest intention. It wasn't about me. It was about
the people. That's. That's the legacy I would love for people
people to lean into and really
embrace. Stay, stay in alignment with your best self.
Like awesome. Get out of everybody else's lane. So we've come to
(44:42):
the part of the show where you get the solo screen and you get to
plug away and let everybody know where they find where they can find you your
website, everything. Awesome. Well thank you. I would love for
you guys to have a gift of just as entrepreneurs or high
achievers to assess what where might you be
stuck. So go to stuck cycles.com it's
(45:02):
right now it's a free assessment. It costs you nothing takes five minutes
and in there it'll say let's start with this. You'll
feel so much more better about like you have a starting place.
You can also go ahead to go to Blue egg Leadership and click on a
discovery call. I would love to have a conversation with you
blueegleadership.com if you are ready for
(45:24):
that again. Stockcycles.com is something for you to self take. It's
a free inventory. Or if you're ready to talk to me and
see how I can help you, go to blueeg leadership. Com.
Awesome. Thank you so much. Don't leave just yet. Let me close out the show
and we'll chat a little off the air because I definitely want to have you
back when you got when you write your other book and you can come promote
(45:47):
that as well. But thank you so much for being such a wonderful guy guest.
I appreciate it. Thank you. You're awesome. I tell you, you're such a
good, good got a good space about you, don't you? Thank you. Thank you. I
appreciate it. You're welcome. You too.
All right everybody, another great episode is in the books. I
greatly appreciate everybody who who's catching the live or
(46:09):
if you're going to catch the replay, please. If you haven't subscribed, please do.
I greatly appreciate it if Dr. D's wisdom spoke to
you, go visit BlueEGLeadership.com to learn more about
her work and resources. And if you're a leader or
aspiring to be one, remember this. Your inner work fuels
your outer impact. Share this episode with a friend or colleague who's ready to step
(46:31):
into bold, authentic leadership. Stay bold, stay
synergized, stay wise. You know how your boy wise does it. Peace out.
Sa.
Sa
(00:32):
Foreign
and welcome to another episode of Stuck in My Mind podcast. I'm
your host, Wise and today's guest
has spent over 20 years coaching and equipping. And equipping,
(00:52):
equipping leaders to build bold, purpose driven lives and
transformative coaches. Dr. Denise Trudeau Puskas
is an international speaker, coach and co founder of Blue Egg
Leadership. She combines neuroscience, communication
strategy, positive psychology and decades of leadership experience
to help her clients master communication time and mindset
(01:15):
while embracing grit and resilience. Let's welcome the Stuck in my
mind podcast. Dr. D. Hey.
Hello. So good to be here. Oh, the pleasure's mine. Thank you for being
a guest. I appreciate your time. So Dr. D, what inspired
to leave traditional leadership roles and step into coaching full time?
Oh, great question. Well,
(01:38):
I started coaching to be a better leader, actually. And
so as I started noticing that it's such a good tool
for leadership, I also had people come to me and say, can you help
my company? And that started branching out
and more and more than I realized, you know what, maybe I want to
remove all formal roles in leadership and simply do coaching.
(02:00):
So that was over a decade ago that I said, I will do
soul coaching. And I loved it ever since.
So. So you've been coaching for over 10, over 10 years. What was your,
your first. I know this is my calling moment. Like, what was that
moment that you was like, yeah, this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
You know what's, what's interesting is. So you saw I have a
(02:24):
PhD in leadership because I wanted to study to be a better leader. And
coaching came about. So that was in 2000 something. And we won't go as
far back as how that is, but I looked at coaching
as a fluffy thing. And so I did my dissertation
to prove that coaching did not have a framework.
Right. So it wasn't like, oh, I feel called to, I feel called to
(02:47):
dispute it. And what I found in the research
talking to very, very well qualified
certified coaches is it. Wow. It really does have a framework.
And not only that, it was. I started seeing how the tools of active
listening, what questions versus why questions,
how it really empowers those around you. And I was very interested in
(03:10):
transformational leadership, which is all about, you know, intellectual
stimulization, getting people empowered, helping them to grow.
That's probably then. So after about 10 years using it
with my leadership, I was like, ah, this, this
is very powerful and it should go across just what I'm doing
to other people. So probably mid 2000, I
(03:33):
thought, you know, I'M going to do more of this because I really feel
like leadership is so important and more than
that, so many people mix it up with management. And
when you're coaching, you, you cannot manage people. You are leading
people or you're designing an alliance with them to
grow. So that's my big turnaround is like, oh my gosh. It has a
(03:56):
framework, it is powerful. It's a technique, especially
certified coaching. I would just clarify that, you know, you have to learn certain
skills and it is, we're not advice
giving anymore. It's like a freedom, like just uncover what people
need for themselves there the way there's wisdom. So.
Absolutely. So, so how did your background in higher education and
(04:19):
leadership influence your approach to coaching?
If you think about it, the higher education
was I wanted to prove research based.
So I. You learn in there that
you can't just take it for granted that something can change, your behavior can
(04:40):
change. So that influenced me to think about.
I. When I'm coaching, I give baselines, inventory,
we assess the behavior. I want to make sure people feel
through the research that they are truly
expanding, expiring and transforming. So that was
probably the biggest piece, the second piece. Working in
(05:02):
higher ed, you know, running something like a program,
you learn a lot of facets of leadership and the politics of
people in management. And you really need to be
grounded in the being, you know, and the
appreciating people to be a really good leader, not just the
role or what's the next step. And so stepping
(05:24):
away from that and realizing that's what I wanted to bring to coaching was very
powerful for me. So, so what
drew you to neuroscience and communication strategy
as tools or leadership? Yeah, I love
that question. When I started studying just how
much people avoid communication
(05:47):
like, or they think like communication means I'm talking to you,
therefore I'm communicating. I realized
we, we need to research this some more and I started exploring
neuroscience because they can tell us exactly what our brain is doing in
those moments. You know, so there's three brain science, now there's
neurobiology. They can inform what is exactly
(06:08):
happening in our communication. So from that
I realized that could give me granular ideas with
my clients. Like for example, we
say there's trigger words and then there's neuro words. So we start there.
What are words that if you're going to use, those are most likely going to
trigger the person across from you? I thought that was very beneficial to have
(06:32):
like the insight around that, like kind of like a little
nugget of
wisdom that we can depend on. And
so as a field has grown, also
so many of those studies have. Teaching us about the ability, you
know, as your podcast talks about in the mind, how so many people just
(06:54):
repeat patterns. Patterns of language creates your
pattern of belief, creates your pattern behavior. I find that
fascinating. And that we could break it. Right. I just find that. Oh, you could
break it at any time. I thought that was
formed. Yeah. It's funny you mentioned trigger word, because earlier this
year, I kind of found one of my trigger words. Oh, yeah,
(07:16):
you did? What did you. Can you share? Like, how did you
find that? It wasn't a good situation,
but, yeah, I found one of my trigger words. And. Yeah.
And it's. It's. It's. It's free. Okay. So, yeah,
in January, I had gastric
bypass surgery because I was almost 100 pounds.
(07:40):
Wow. And so I'm now down to 250.
Amazing. And so
someone at work said something about my weight,
but I had. But this is already. When I had already lost some weight,
and it triggered me. It got me upset, and I was like,
I'm like, hold on. How are you calling me this thing?
(08:03):
And I've lost so much
weight. It's like. It just. Just kind of, like, hit you.
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, it's a true thing. And what
happens is when we get triggered, didn't it, like, sit with you and just kind
of make you feel like you couldn't breathe or just. It just. It
just. Just kick you off? I was. I was so
(08:24):
angry, like, because in my mind, I'm thinking about, like, the work I've
put into. Yeah. Like validate that. Me,
like, eating and. And changing the way I eat. And after surgery and doing all
these things, like, I'm like. I'm like, I.
I've lost all this weight. And if you'd even say something,
I. I was just. I was pissed. I was just. Yeah, yeah.
(08:46):
Went off on the person. And then I had. I apologized. But, yeah.
No, I discovered one of my trigger words. So.
Yeah. Well, what you said is very true. And
we get triggered mainly because they're not
validating something about us. Yeah. That
they probably can't see. But that's why we get triggered.
(09:08):
So what struggles did you face early. Early in building your coaching process?
And how did you overcome that? Oh,
well, people don't think they need coaching. Right.
Even though they see it in the NFL and all your sports. And it's
a very different thing. And now with
AI, people are really thinking, oh, yeah, I can just type something up. And it
(09:31):
will counsel me and it won't. So it's really.
I was lucky, actually, because I had started coaching on the side when I was
still leading, and so I could run into a six figure coaching
business right off the bat. But
the challenge was also knowing what tools and what certifications
were valid for learning. People say, well, you
(09:54):
can just. You like talking to people. You can coach. It's not true,
right? It's not true at all. Oh, no. I've taken some courses and
training to. Yeah. Get certified. Yeah,
that's something, that was something I said when I started podcasting and
I started setting my goals. Being certified as a coach was
one of my goals. And it took me time, it
(10:17):
took me to work and study and learn. And like you said, there's certain things
you use, techniques you use and things you learn to help
guide you along with coaching. So. Yeah, no, you can't. Just
because I know the work I've put into what I'm doing.
I'm helping other people build podcasts. But at the same time, I,
(10:38):
I've learned, I've learned from my experience of building my own
podcast of showing and coaching people how to build, how to
build shows and how to do different. So, yeah, no, I feel you. I understand.
Like, yeah, right. You can't just say, well, I think I'm just
going to call myself a coach now. Yeah. And that, that has
been the theme the last five years. You'll see a grow. They said the grow
(10:59):
coaching is one of the fastest growing. But it's
not the certified people. It's. Instead of people saying, I'm a
consultant now, turn coach. Not like you said, not without the
proper skill set. You can't. It's very different, isn't it? Like,
and you invest in that training and it's, it's listening
at a whole different level. So. And it's going back and
(11:22):
just like, it's, it's not
easy. It's when you, when you're
trying to build something and. Yeah. You just
can't come. Oh, yeah. I think I'm just gonna
say I'm a coach now.
Everybody, even football coaches. Right.
(11:45):
Well, one of the most great, the greatest actors in the world,
Denzel Morrison, has admitted that he has an acting
coach continually. Right. Yeah.
That's the only way you're going to improve is with someone helping you and
critiquing you and showing you like, hey, this is where you can work on this
or you can do that. So, yeah. And so,
(12:06):
and so you've done that in Your business too, I'm sure. Right. Where you have
to realize sometimes my perspective is, is,
you know, our perspective is limited. We need somebody from the outside to
continually work on our blind spots. And that's what
the power of, you know,
coaching is. It's. It's helping us uncover the things we don't necessarily want
(12:28):
to uncover or see the thing, things that we didn't see.
And that is, that's a huge skill set for people. And that's why,
as you said, you do want to look for a certified coach, because
it is a skill set. They had a practice, they had to go through it.
They had to go through the rigors. They're not just putting a sign. I
am this because I like people, you know, a little more than that.
(12:52):
Right. So what, what role does grit and
resilience play in your own story?
Well, similar to most people. And you're successful
at what you did, probably. And you'll say, for the same reason
I, it took grit. Sometimes when you're just shot down and
you're like, this is BS and I don't know if I want to do this
(13:14):
anymore, there's a part of you that just kicks in gear
and says, I don't care what anybody else thinks.
This is something that's important for me to do and I'm going to do it,
even if I don't know how I'm going to do it.
And it is, even in the midst of
it could be something negative that happens, an event that happens. But
(13:37):
grit is that piece that I had to
change and adapt from. So it means also,
like, for me, it was you. When you go to, from a leadership
role, like a formal leadership role, you kind of have that
little credibility where you walk in a place
and grit says you don't need the role, you just need to be
(14:00):
and show up the best you can and
keep the ego out of the way. Because our, our egos, I think
they love to play the game, don't they? They love to love to come into
the arena with us. So that's great. Resilience is
getting slammed down one time after another. So, for
example, like, when I started the business, it was six figures rolling, right?
(14:23):
But it was all referral. There's a time where you we're going to hit a
wall on that. There just is a time. And I hit that after three
years, and then it was kind of like bored with what I was doing.
I was doing emotional intelligence. And it's still very powerful. Don't get me wrong,
it's Very powerful. But we do need to know when we need
the next challenge. And I always think resiliency is when
(14:46):
something just, you hit a wall and you're
like, I'm going to either have to get really good at something new or I'm
going to have to pivot here some way. And that was
me after three years. Like, actually I like this
neuroscience piece and, and loving science. I thought no
one was studying it at the time. And coaching, I thought it's just my path.
(15:08):
I'm going to be fascinated. Keep emotional intelligence.
So the resilience is really not looking at
like what is everybody else doing? What am I
informed or excited about learning as it applies to, in this case,
coaching or. And leadership. And I don't know if you've
had those times where people did something
(15:30):
or said something in leadership and you're like on the outs.
That's, you know, you have to be able to say, what do
I learn here, what I lean into and what am I going to let go?
And that's, that's my mantras for resiliency. And that's
what I teach my clients too. Whatever entrepreneur
field they're in. We're going to need resiliency because.
(15:53):
Because the responsibility lies on us to
keep growing. Right? Right. No one else is going to rescue our
businesses. Yep. So tell us about blue
egg leadership. Where did the name and vision come from?
The name is based in color psychology. So
I'm going to tell you, the vision is not as flamboyant or flashy as
(16:17):
you would want it to be. It was very
kind of boring. I was from, I was speaking
and I came back and I was just jogging out and I gravel road in
the middle of nowhere because I didn't know where I was at the time.
And I started thinking about a book child title
called the Blue Egg in the lion or the and it was a
(16:38):
juxtaposition on, on things. So.
And I thought, you know what, actually blue egg, when you look at
color psychology, it has a good ring to it for a business because
blue, the color psychology means calm, clear,
assertive egg. If you look in the Greek
terminology of what an egg is, it means unlimited potential to be
(17:01):
tapped, to continually grow. And
so I'm like, I never wrote the book,
got inspired and left it there. But I did use the, the blue egg
together pulled the lion out because I thought that's too much. People are not going
to understand courage piece. So that, that's how, how boring it
was. But it worked, right? Yeah, it worked
(17:22):
exactly. You Just said it worked. So. Yeah, yeah.
So what is the approach, the, the SALC approach and
how does it work in practice? So the Salk method
is. Here's the thing with,
you know, clients come to you or business all have to face
(17:42):
mastering our time and energy. That is like our foundation. Right.
So, and salt, that's your structures, they change
as you grow. You need to change with them. Right. The second thing
is how do you lead a team? If solopreneurs would be leading their self
and a leader, it's leading yourself and a team.
So that's your attitude and your leadership. Like how do you keep
(18:04):
working on your mind game? Always, always the mind
game. Would you say that is a big part of it? Leadership, of course,
is we really like the concept of
people taking responsibility for the ripple effect in their, their
cultures, of their companies. So if their company is one
to, to 20 million, that's anywhere from teams of three to,
(18:27):
you know, 40. That's what we love playing the game with because they
really resonate with that. So the leadership
is, they're still doing their growth mindset. They keep doing that
so that they can communicate with neuro language better and better with their
teams and exponentially
that leads right to the creative compassion piece.
(18:50):
That means I care as much about my team as
the business profitability. They go hand in hand. They're
together. So my, my C's are my contribution, my compassion and my
courage to lead and to expect the people around
me to grow and continue to grow. It's kind of a
framework. Awesome.
(19:12):
So how does your team phenomenal phenomenon model work? Help leaders
build powerful teams. Well, so we start.
This is always funny because, you know, you've heard of other
entrepreneurs, but they always think they're going to fix someone else. You know, in a
team, they got to fix that person. There's a book called Fix
difficult people or that person was, you know, something about
(19:34):
help difficult people. And that just personified that the
problem is out there. Our phenomenon says
the problem is starts with you, but you get to be a
better leader. So we say lead wherever you are. Lean into the conversation
and let go of the frustration. And
(19:55):
when we talked about neuroscience earlier, there's so much if
I am frustrated and I don't process that
every everybody else is that everybody else that's in the room
is going to feel that that's just the way mirror neurons work, that we are
just connected with people. And so
what we say is that what you want to do is be account,
(20:18):
help people be accountable, but make sure it's not
personalized. Make sure it's very objective. This is what
needed to be done, this is when it will need to be done and this
is what it will look like not you failed to do this,
I don't know if I can trust you and blah blah blah, you know that
we get it very personalized versus an objective. This is
(20:38):
what is clearly the path for you to succeed.
So that phenomenon teaches emotional intelligence at the core. It's like
emotional intelligence which is how do we deal with other people,
how to deal with ourselves, how do we make decisions and how do we have
well being. And then from that we use the Salk
method of having compassion for people to grow.
(21:01):
That means holding them accountable and making sure the right people
are in the right roles. Some
people just really want to do so well for teams and
they're, you know, you've met that person, they can do really well. But it
takes all their energy in that field and people sometimes will keep them in there.
What we say is find their unique ability and let them lean
(21:23):
into that. Don't have them do everything. Don't trust that they know themselves well
enough to say yes, this would be my job, I will do this well.
Really give them opportunities for self awareness. Whether it's like a
Myers Briggs Inventory, curse disorder, strengths find
there's like a ton of tools that will bring to the table. Just because
when people become more aware of their strengths, they're going
(21:46):
to unleash those in your company, in their team. Right.
And I suppose a third thing really important is helping them
have a culture of how they're going to speak to each other, what
is not allowed. Like we talked about trigger words we really work
on. They get a page of trigger words and a
page of not trigger words that they can start off with. Right.
(22:09):
So it's really about not projecting
your pain onto other people. It's about
uncovering what they're curious about, using language
that supports them. Even if you're frustrated, it's like have that
conversation with them directly, not other people. So
we really study on
(22:30):
transparency with perception, which means this
is how I'm feeling. This is my perception of what happened. I want to uncover
that with you or I want to clear that up with you versus you
did this. And I did, you know, I didn't do this. It's really
understanding that you've heard the Elber us. Well, however
we see the world is how we see the world. Whatever we believe about the
(22:53):
world, we believe about the world. We see the world. So we really have them
step back and say, so remember, this is a perception. Not
everybody's going to have the same view as you. How do you honor that
in that, in that teaching cult or team and teaching culture? And
you'll find that there's a. Just the more we study that the synergy goes up
as there's camaraderie. And now you know more than ever,
(23:15):
there's so many disconnected people that
when they get to know that there's a safety in that team,
there's somebody has their back, that people are going to talk
with respect. It's just literally
unlimited how much they can grow. Yeah.
So you've coached leaders in Fortune 500, healthcare, higher ed
(23:38):
and more. What challenges are universal across all
industries?
Let's see. I'm picturing that one. I
think the challenge is
if the company thinks
(23:58):
it's a person and they have only this much time to
fix themselves. Right. And they're not really
buying into the system that we are going to invest people in
their growth and support that.
That's a continual issue because people will invest
in. They learn this knowledge. Right. Easily.
(24:21):
They'll learn a new computer skill, they'll learn a new technical skill
because it's very. To them, they think that's very measurable. They learned it, they passed
it, they have it. The challenge with coaching is
that people perceive that there should be a deadline on that.
And coaching actually is a discovery. It's un.
(24:41):
Covering for people their awareness of themselves and their
awareness of other people within themselves. And so sometimes
the challenge would be, well, you have six months fix this person versus
you have six months. Let's see what we can uncover, help that
person transpire, and let's give them a personal leadership development plan. We're all
about that. But it shouldn't be
(25:04):
secular. It should be connected to a bigger piece. Does that make
sense? So sometimes they'll say, you have one person fix
that person and hopefully they'll have a ripple effect on 40 people.
Right. That's not necessarily
how that works because they're learning as they are leading
and they still need support of other people learning some of those
(25:26):
tools. Yeah. So
how do you help clients master communication time
and mindset in real practical ways?
Real practical ways. So let's take an.
We dig into those and stroke. A genius is our mastermind. We'll dig
into each of those. They. They correlate, don't they? I mean, they do
(25:50):
time and energy. And so we'll start
with something and based in neuroscience that our brains love
three and so to map our time, what we do
is 1, 2, 3. The highest impacts that you
want to have in the day, you put them at the beginning of the day.
You don't fill a little checklist, right. You do a capture list. So you're thinking
(26:11):
about what I'm going to do for this week and then you do
the high impact. That means they have a high impact on your business. That, that's
my client. So they have a high impact in your business. Then
there is high impact, high energy. That's still yours because
it's a, it's something you're learning. But then you have these whole bunch of the
things that, that entrepreneurs love to play with. This is low impact. I'm going to
(26:34):
do some social media right now, but it's not their game or
low impact, high cost. I'm going to try to do some of my own
accounting. So what we do is first shape
what your brain really works well with, which is not checklist. It's
about focusing on three big things. And then
the other thing would be they learn what we call
(26:57):
time base where you put the same thing together
like, like emails together. If you're creating something,
you put that together, your, your mind works better on that.
So those are some how we introduce. They literally have a
formula and a time tracking piece that they can
plug in and it watches them because most high
(27:19):
achievers over schedule themselves and then
right then they feel bad because I didn't get that done, then I'll do this
and they continually do that. So we, it's really a big change that we're not
having you over schedule anything. We're looking for high impacts and then we'll
chunk the other ones. Right. That helps a master
energy. So master and energy is around coaching
(27:41):
tools. Probably the most powerful one I
created that people really resonate with is called the three circles.
But you will, they'll take an event. So I had a new
client this morning, he had taken the event that has got him
triggered, you know, and you know how that feels. Oh my gosh. You know. And
he, he got triggered Friday and he was still triggered on the
(28:03):
call. And so you take the event that were
you were triggered with and you process it. So the first circle is
what's the data? What was the thing said or the information like date is
the data. It happened outside it have insight but
there's no interpretation in the first one. The second one, what's your
interpretation? So you write it out and your subconscious will
(28:26):
like throw a whole bunch of things you didn't realize. I felt like they.
Because they said that I was rejected. I felt like I failed as a
business person. These are some things that came up for him. And then
finally, the third circle is we
have to cross off anything not helpful. Because if it's not helpful,
it's going to be a hindrance. It's going to put us in what we call
(28:47):
stuck cycle. And a stuck cycle is a very, very
demoralizing thing for a business person. But they get stuck in these
stuck cycles quite often. So what you do is you cross
it off and your brain will see that you have crossed it off. It takes
the emotion out and says, okay, there's gotta be other options.
(29:07):
So the third circle is anything that gives you compassion, compelling, take an
action and allowing you to reset, you can
write, rewrite it in there. So the interpretation is, instead of I
failed as a business person, I'm learning from this event
as I speak, which is true. He learned from this
person, leaving them just like that. I am learning already that
(29:29):
I need to do something differently here. So by the time they get to
the third circle, they have processed it. Not, you know, not stuck it down.
They have processed, processed it. And it builds resilience in the brain because
the brain says, okay, now I know how to go back to my higher
brain and say, let's, let's solve this. Because it's not just about me.
It's about the, the bigger piece that we're doing here in our business.
(29:52):
So those are some examples. Like I said, we also use inventories
for self awareness. We use a lot of different
coaching tools in the moment. They love reflection.
They don't, but they love forgiveness letters. That's probably the
worst thing they hate, but it's the most powerful. Forgiveness letters are
very important. Of course you don't send them, but it's one of my
(30:14):
favorite. If they're stuck, I'll have them do a forgiveness letter. And either they'll get
unstuck so they don't have to do the forgiveness letter, or they'll do the forgiveness
letter and they'll find something really clever that
was hidden underneath. Fascinating. It's fascinating what our
subconscious will do. So. So what do you believe the future of
leadership looks like in a rapidly changing world?
(30:36):
Well, I, I can tell you how I hope it would look like. Okay, I
really hope it looks like
because the research keeps showing
depression is higher and higher. Right. People. 60%
of people spend their day in distraction.
They're spending 23 minutes trying to get back to their first original
(30:59):
Thing that they were doing. 70% of executives, even
in small companies talk about being burned out.
So my hope is that everything just
focuses a little better on the merit of
contribution. Contribution to our team,
contribution to myself, care about ourselves.
(31:21):
And they do utilize coaching and
or some form of that therapy so people can uncover these old
patterns that keep them stuck talking
to each other in a negative way or not being held accountable.
But instead of making a policy, they make a practice. A
practice to respect each other, a practice to endorse the other
(31:43):
person, a practice to learn how to do acknowledgement.
That would be a wonderful way that leadership would go that
they decide to. We're going to be leadership, not management.
And there we're going to. Right. We're going to take on
a transformative way. Even if it takes a little more investment.
They care enough that they think about like a
(32:06):
transformational leadership culture. It's so powerful when they do that.
That's where I would hope it goes that it keeps growing in that coaching
or even, you know, cognitive behavior therapy
grows in interaction. You know, not just reading about it. That's
not going to change a behavior or practice. But really
they take that more seriously and utilize it as
(32:29):
an asset to build a powerful team. Okay,
but for someone who's listening, who feels stuck in leadership, what's
the first step to shift? Well, I would like to
share. I created assessment that really has helped
my clients start with figuring out where should I
even start? Because about we did a focus group and we found
(32:52):
out like eight out of nine people assessed
where they were wrong incorrectly. So we
created a Stuck Cycles inventory. So you can take
it, we made it a short version stuck cycles.com but
you take that and figure out what, what is the area that
is the stuck right now.
(33:16):
Right. And we take that piece and say,
okay, so most people say I'm in burnout, but they actually
really probably aren't. They might be an emotional flatlining or in
the perfectionism loop. And so what we do is take that and
say, that's the state that you're stuck in. We'll move you
into now let's look at your business. What part of that with the
(33:38):
operational risk assessment. But when they
realize, hey, this does happen to people and if I
diagnose it, if I take this inventory it, I can, I
can diagnose it. And they can even do the inventory for free. And
it'll give you one or two steps to take. I mean, just to get people
started. And it will say
(34:00):
specifically take these steps for that area and people
feel more validated that they
realize this is, this happens to high achievers. They get stuck cycles
and on average stuck cycle stands
about six to eight months because we misdiagnosed
it. So this will say, hey, get started on this
(34:23):
path. Feel hopeful because it's not you, it's just your brain.
It's not your fault and you have
a lot of resources to get started on that path.
Awesome. So, so how do leaders create that
environment based on how do
(34:43):
kind of leadership leaders create that environment of synergy and
optimism for their team? Oh yeah. So that's, I'm
going to go to the fact that on all of my work I
found the first thing you do is you start with emotional intelligence,
like inventory, not over the counter self
diagnosis book but like really
(35:05):
get an assessment of where your team is at and yourself.
Like where do you rate on this eqi? Because
then you're going to know the gaps. It's just nice to have data
to help you instead of just I think I'm doing this. I always say
find the data that will support the, the path.
So starting there they can get a coach to do it. They, there's people
(35:29):
that just take them like and that's
all they do is give you the eqi. So I do the bar on eqi.
It's probably the most research widely valid one.
And so let's just get that baseline of where
are people at and in there. The first action to take is
create a culture code. And by that I mean how are
(35:51):
you guys going to support each other? What are the words you're going to use
and what is the phrases that our culture is
about like innovative capacity, resilience through
challenge. Like what are those phrases that say this is how we
show up for each other even if you're not showing up for it now. But
where do you want to go? That's the vision. Where do we want to
(36:12):
go? And the third thing is when you start
mapping that, how are we going to get there? Who's going to help us with
that? Are we going to start reading something about it
that's a cheat, you know, a very inexpensive way, you know, read a great
book like the Mountain is you or Brene Brown's, you
know, daring greatly. Any. I mean it's a start, it's something. Right?
(36:33):
Yeah, of course. Right. So somewhere. Yeah.
And so come commit to being
a growth minded culture. So that would mean you guys learning to do
something together. Whether it's starting with a book, it's hiring a coach
to do like we do a lot of programs within a company and then they
can take the program over, but it is. So
(36:55):
it's knowledge which people find easy to get and that's where they stop.
Then there's application, the practice, which is uncomfortable. And then of course,
you know, discovery. It means, wow, we all practice and, and now
we talk to each other very differently and hey, I have
insight. And so those are the first three steps
that are so powerful for
(37:18):
any leader and they can do it at whatever level. But just start with
those three steps. It's a very
good platform to begin from. So
what's next for you in Blue Egg? Leadership books, programs, new
projects. Yeah, I love that. So we. I
am doing more international
(37:41):
speaking. I started some of that like 15 years ago, but I'll do more of
that. But Blue Egg in general, we are have a program
called Stroke of Genius that we're inviting national, international
entrepreneurs, anywhere from 1 to 20 million that just want
the, the whole tool set. We have a community
environment. They have a little extra trainings in there.
(38:04):
We're really excited about it because it's a live community and it's
a mastermind every Monday,
three times a month. And they stay with us. Sometimes they're their year,
sometimes they're two years, sometimes it's six months. So we
revamp that using that online community
(38:24):
program called School. You probably heard of that. Love it.
I finished my first book and it's coming out October,
middle October, called Bounce the hidden power of disappointment.
And starting my next one, I think it's called defragging the ego, which would
be fascinating. And we are launching mini
retreats. Some entrepreneurs are just starting
(38:47):
out and they just need three to four hours to generate some hope and
some ideas. So we have many retreats happening.
October, Halloween is our stuck cycle one. And then November
5th is our find your soul path,
which again, they're virtual so anybody can attend, but they're very
engaging and it's not like showing up on
(39:09):
a zoom and having your, your camera off. You are there, you're
engaged, you get free information, you're coached in a moment. So we
do our cultures for our mindsets very well even if they're virtual. So
we're very proud of that. So those are sub programs that we're
unveiling to help more and more entrepreneurs because
they're. I really feel like they're going to need it this year and on. They're
(39:30):
really going to hit some economic cycles. Some things
that are happening out there, they really need to be in a
mastermind with other people to promote that
resiliency, spontaneity, but also
hope, like hope I can do something and it's going to make a
big difference. That's amazing because
(39:52):
I'm actually working on having a retreat here.
But next year I'm working on getting all the details together and the goal
is for next fall is to have a three to four day
retreat with podcasters where I have. And
it's like, it's amazing that I've built some amazing, great
(40:13):
relationships with people. And when I've already, I've told them about, they're like, oh, so
you know I'm coming to speak, right. So a lot of my friends are coming,
they're volunteering themselves. Like, yeah, I want to be a
part of this. This is something that's major and definitely want to be a part.
So yeah, that is huge. I'm blessed to have. And
they're all like, tell us, tell me what you need me to help you do
(40:35):
get this going. So that says a lot about you then, doesn't it? This
is a lot that they were like, they already know that the potential is so
powerful and would you say people need people? I mean people
want those three day retreats in person and eventually we'll get
to those. But because they are, they need
a, a community. They need to be in, in person with
(40:58):
people. There's too much times when they're not. Listen, virtual
has been great for me. It's helped me build my platform
and it's helped me connect with so many different people. But like
you said, you need those moments where you need to connect with somebody
and. Yeah. And just do and be able to do something
and have that interaction where you're working together. Yeah.
(41:21):
Unplugged. That's what I like about the three day retreats and we've done those and
we'll do one next year, hopefully international. But what's so wonderful
is you're telling them to unplug from all those things, come
here and there. Anything's possible in those
retreats because they're in a new environment. There's no anchors. You're
telling them what's possible and then they're also connecting with other people,
(41:43):
which is so powerful. So I'm excited to hear that you're doing that. That's going
to be phenomenal. Yeah, I'm going to reach out to sponsors have
because I want to set up locations where they can collaborate and record court
together and it's gonna be different things. Gonna have workshops on, on how
to Build your podcast. If you don't. If you don't, don't have one, or if
you already have one. I have people who do marketing. I have people who do
(42:05):
their. So it's. It's amazing.
And like I said, a lot of them already like, hey, you know, I'm coming
down to speak, right? And, and, and one of the reasons also was
gives me an opportunity also. It builds myself a platform
for I can go do my speaking and talking and
put myself out there and give myself. So
(42:28):
it was credibility. Yeah, a lot of
just different things. It was just such. When it hit me, because it was
a friend. We had a great someone that I recorded a show with.
She had gone to Rasheed and she told me about it. I'm like, man, we
could really use something like that here on the east coast. And
(42:48):
we don't. Like, a lot of the podcasting events are going on in
Florida and Texas and like here in. In Northeast,
we don't really be having anything. I like, I would love to put something together
where at least 20, 20 to 25 people, 30
podcasters come together and, and just build and, and grow together.
That would. Oh, that would be so powerful. And like you said, it's much
(43:10):
needed there, needing help with scaffolding retreats. I'm a natural
at it. It's fun. But yeah, so that's cool
that you had an insight and vision and now you're making it happen. Right?
Isn't that so powerful as an entrepreneur? And
it's a platform that you can not only share and help other people,
but it would give back to you as your own entrepreneur. You. More
(43:33):
people get to know you and the gift that you bring, and they're like, oh,
I don't maybe want to do this, but can we. We do that right?
Very nice. Very cool. So. So what legacy do
you. Do you want your work to lead for future generations
of leaders? I would say
my mission statement is to unlock people's soul that it's just been
(43:57):
covered. That's not to find it. It's just uncover it and
let them be their best self here and on their time that
they're here. That. That's what I'm
passionate about later is too. And. And the work I do. My
clients work hard sometimes on themselves, you know, they really do.
But the reward is when, you know, 10 of them are in a room
(44:20):
talking about and just feeling that awe of. I
led with highest intention. It wasn't about me. It was about
the people. That's. That's the legacy I would love for people
people to lean into and really
embrace. Stay, stay in alignment with your best self.
Like awesome. Get out of everybody else's lane. So we've come to
(44:42):
the part of the show where you get the solo screen and you get to
plug away and let everybody know where they find where they can find you your
website, everything. Awesome. Well thank you. I would love for
you guys to have a gift of just as entrepreneurs or high
achievers to assess what where might you be
stuck. So go to stuck cycles.com it's
(45:02):
right now it's a free assessment. It costs you nothing takes five minutes
and in there it'll say let's start with this. You'll
feel so much more better about like you have a starting place.
You can also go ahead to go to Blue egg Leadership and click on a
discovery call. I would love to have a conversation with you
blueegleadership.com if you are ready for
(45:24):
that again. Stockcycles.com is something for you to self take. It's
a free inventory. Or if you're ready to talk to me and
see how I can help you, go to blueeg leadership. Com.
Awesome. Thank you so much. Don't leave just yet. Let me close out the show
and we'll chat a little off the air because I definitely want to have you
back when you got when you write your other book and you can come promote
(45:47):
that as well. But thank you so much for being such a wonderful guy guest.
I appreciate it. Thank you. You're awesome. I tell you, you're such a
good, good got a good space about you, don't you? Thank you. Thank you. I
appreciate it. You're welcome. You too.
All right everybody, another great episode is in the books. I
greatly appreciate everybody who who's catching the live or
(46:09):
if you're going to catch the replay, please. If you haven't subscribed, please do.
I greatly appreciate it if Dr. D's wisdom spoke to
you, go visit BlueEGLeadership.com to learn more about
her work and resources. And if you're a leader or
aspiring to be one, remember this. Your inner work fuels
your outer impact. Share this episode with a friend or colleague who's ready to step
(46:31):
into bold, authentic leadership. Stay bold, stay
synergized, stay wise. You know how your boy wise does it. Peace out.
Sa.
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