The Hidden Strain of Caregiving and the Power of Reflection in Personal Change with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst

About Gloria Vanderhorst: Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst is a licensed psychologist offering virtual therapy in Maryland and Washington, DC. With over 40 years of clinical experience, she has worked with preschoolers, teens, adults, and couples, guiding them through life’s challenges with compassion and expertise.

Her therapeutic approach integrates Emotion Focused Therapy, Internal Family Systems, and Traumatic Incident Reduction. She focuses on healing early trauma, improving emotional functioning, and strengthening relationships. Dr. Vanderhorst also supports the court system with co-parenting guidance and reunification services for families.

In her free time, she enjoys watercolor painting and playing her baroque recorder.

In this episode, Brian and Gloria Vanderhorst discuss: 

• Balancing the overlapping demands of family caregiving and personal responsibilities
• Using reflection and journaling as tools for growth and healing
• The impact of cultural expectations on men’s emotional expression
• How family stress affects the emotional needs of children and teenagers.

Key Takeaways:

• The journaling method of reading, reflecting, and responding allows people to unlock hidden memories and emotions stored in images or sensations rather than words, giving them a deeper understanding of how past experiences continue to shape their present.
• Men are socially conditioned from infancy to suppress vulnerability and emotional expression, which not only creates lifelong struggles with intimacy and openness but also leads many to rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms that manifest physically and emotionally.
• Parents who become consumed by the responsibilities of caring for aging relatives can unintentionally neglect their teenagers’ need for connection, making it crucial to intentionally carve out small but meaningful moments that reassure children of their continued importance.
• Boys naturally begin life with a wider range of emotional expression than girls, but repeated subtle withdrawals and corrections from caregivers gradually narrow that range, teaching them to mute their feelings and leaving lasting consequences on their ability to fully experience and share emotions. 

"We deny men the capability of expressing themselves emotionally. We put them in a narrow little box." — Gloria Vanderhorst

 

Connect with Gloria Vanderhorst: 

Website: http://www.drvanderhorst.com/

Book: Read, Reflect, Respond - The 3 Rs of Growth and Change: https://www.amazon.com/Read-Reflect-Respond-Growth-Change/dp/1633023036

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gloria-vanderhorst-ph-d-730826b 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr