December 18, 2025 • 41 mins
This episode is different.
To close out the season, Seth steps out from behind the questions and reflects on what he’s learned from nearly 100 conversations with athletes, founders, musicians, and high performers from all walks of life.
After analyzing every transcript from the past year, Seth shares 10 core through-lines that kept showing up—identity, suffering, faith, high performance, mental health, community, and the quiet tension between who we are and what we do.
He opens up about losing his father, becoming a husband and soon-to-be father, pornography recovery, burnout, ambition, and the ongoing work of becoming someone he’s proud of. This episode explores the real cost of chasing excellence, why “making it” rarely feels the way we expect, and why who you are when no one’s watching matters more than any résumé.
The second half of the episode gets deeply personal—vision for the future of the show, lessons from building Stupid Questions over years of false starts, and why curiosity, truth, and heart have to stay at the center of everything.
This isn’t a recap.
It’s a reflection.
And an invitation to ask better questions of yourself.
Ways to Support the Show:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Hey, how's it going everybody? And welcome back again to
another episode of the Stupid Questions podcast.
This one is obviously different.It is the end of the season
episode. So this past one year, 100 or so
episodes. Yeah.
First off, I just want to say thank you so much for being
here. It really means a whole lot to
me that you listen to this podcast.
If this is the first episode you've ever heard, I want to
(00:24):
encourage you to go listen to some of the past ones first.
But if you are here for that, thank you as well.
Yeah, I just, I can't express enough gratitude.
When I started this podcast, I really had no other intention
other than trying to start something that brought a lot of
joy to me. I don't know if you guys listen
to episode 100, but if you didn't, one of the things that I
brought forward was just this idea that, you know, this
(00:45):
podcast was really a culminationof a lot of my past.
Asking people questions has continued to be and has been for
a very long time, just the bedrock, I think, of how I, as a
human, as a man, have tried to grow.
I've shared this in a number of different episodes, some more in
depth and others. But, you know, losing my father
(01:06):
at 16 years old to suicide no less, left me asking a lot of
tremendous questions. And a lot of the times the
questions that I had, I tried tofind key individuals in my life
who I could ask those questions of by way of action, by way of
just observation to try to fill,I guess more or less the empty
(01:27):
pieces of I felt like my my soul, my heart, my experience
had. And it's been a joy and honor
through this podcast to ask the same questions, to figure out
what makes people do what they do, how they become who they are
and who they are more than anything else.
And wow, there's so much to go over over this episode.
But here's what I've done over the past 100 episodes.
(01:49):
I took every one of those transcripts and downloaded them
and I threw them into Tracha PT collectively here recently and
asked Tracha PT GPT to to pull out the through lines that I've
learned from those past episodesand it has given me 10 points to
go over. So I'm going to go over those 10
points in the first part of the episode.
I will say I have only looked atthem briefly because I wanted my
(02:11):
answers to be kind of off the cuff, similarly to how I expect
my guests to perform to share onthe podcast.
I normally don't give them any questions ahead of time except
for if they know about The Who question, they can think about
that one a bit. But in similar fashion, I'm
going to go through these 10 points and give just kind of my
thoughts and see what comes to mind.
It's not super overdone, which Idon't think any of you expect in
(02:33):
this in this podcast, but there is some structure to it.
So that's going to be the first part of the episode and then the
second part of the episode is going to be a little bit closer
home. Some of the mental stuff,
thoughts, vision for the future,thankfulness around this podcast
and we'll just see how it goes. So thank you so much for being
here. If this isn't your cup of tea,
you can go ahead and skip through now.
We are going to jump to these 10points, go through the things
(02:55):
that I've learned this past year, take some reflection time
and just spend some time together.
And yeah, hopefully I learned something about myself a little
bit more. Hopefully you guys learn too.
And I will say I have been thinking about this for a couple
of weeks now since I recorded mylast episode of the season.
As I've kind of slowly dripped the last few ones of the season
approaching this one, I was a bit more a bit scared or is that
(03:17):
a word? A bit more trepidatious.
I wanted to do it right. I don't know.
I feel like there's an expectation growing within
myself and probably within the listener as well as I try to do
a better job at this podcast. There's a level of quality I
think that needs to be displayed.
And so I wanted to make sure that before I jumped into this
episode, I had really kind of thought about some of the
lessons that I've learned and tried to think about, you know,
(03:38):
what things that I could share that would hopefully add value
back to you guys. But more than anything, if
there's one thing I've learned about anything that is public
facing, whether it's music performance or public speaking
or even doing the podcast, if it's not coming from the heart,
it's not real, doesn't add as much of value, doesn't add
inspiration to myself and others, and it's not motivating
as well. So and everything that I share
(03:59):
on this podcast today, it is my hope, it is my goal to share
from a place of truth and experience.
So let's go and jump into it. So the first point, the why
behind who people become, this is a topic obviously through the
initial coup question. Sometimes I've asked that
question right the beginning of the episode to kind of get
people that jump in. But I've kind of morphed that
(04:20):
over time into letting the conversation flow naturally how
I would if I was meeting someonebrand new off the street and
then finding the most appropriate time to ask that.
Usually after I have a little bit more of a history of who
they are. I don't know if that's the best
way to do it yet, honestly. 204 times, and the majority of those
being one-on-one interviews by at large, probably greater than
(04:40):
180 of them. And I still haven't figured out
the best way to do that, to be honest.
But to answer that question or to think about that a little bit
more like why? The why behind who people
become, you know, what I have learned is through all these
conversations and in viewing my own life is that what really
matters is who you are when no one else is watching.
Why does that matter? You know, you guys know from me,
(05:03):
you know, I'll get really open and raw about this.
I've shared on the podcast number of times that I've been
clean from pornography for six months.
And that really taps into The Who I am, even though no one was
watching. Give me just one second.
We're going to pause for a second.
And why that matters so much is,at least to me, you know, it's
(05:24):
so hard to know what a true person's intentions are when we
get to know them. You know, I meet with people
time and time again weekly on this podcast and I immediately
start drawing A-frame of reference to go to as I relate
to this person and the questionsI asked them.
And how much can I trust them? And are they trustworthy?
Are the things that they're saying true?
(05:44):
You know, your, but your mind and your body's like going
through all of these observations and, and wanting to
understand the person sitting across from you.
And no matter how good a person is and seems on the outside, we
are all human and what we do when no one is watching truly
matters because that that that really shows who we are.
I know for me speaking personally, there will be
(06:06):
telltale signs, things that happen in my character that will
give a hint to what I'm doing when no one else is watching.
With pornography, I think it allends up time being like sexual
jokes because if you think aboutsex all the time, like that's
where you're gonna make jokes about.
It's just like whatever the majority of the consumption is
in your private life. I think that is what comes
through and overflows on the outset.
(06:28):
And so when asking the question like, well, who is whatever, I
think that's why most people when I ask that question is they
give me a kind of a laundry listof things that they do or have
done. And there's a human element to
that because I think that, you know, part of our identity is in
what we do. But what's more, I think what is
the at the bedrock of that is how we do those things.
(06:53):
The character traits that we display as we go out and, and
try to be a professional athleteand try to be a father in trying
to be a business leader. And I'll tell you how I learned
this lesson. I had the opportunity with one
of my first businesses to go to a pitch competition in Berlin,
Germany. And this pitch competition is
essentially, you know, you have your business, you get up on
(07:15):
stage, you talk about it, and you basically paint a picture of
why people should invest in it. And then there were some
investors around who would potentially invest if they were
interested. And then there was a prize purse
for whoever won the pitch competition.
It's basically like a public speaking thing, whoever can make
the thing look the coolest and whatever wins.
And as I was preparing for that pitch competition, this was like
my second or third one. I was really having this crisis
(07:37):
of like trying to figure out howto separate myself from the
business because I realized as Iwas talking about this business,
I was really talking about myself and the things that it
was going to do. I felt like I was going to do.
And it was so interlocked. But I started to realize the
need to be able to separate my identity with this business.
(07:57):
And what do I mean by that? Your character traits are what
make you who you are. So when I was at this pitch
competition in Berlin, I had this slogan for this hammock
company that was called Sway. That was comfort, security and
warmth. That's what this product was
going to give you, comfort, security and warmth.
And for me, in that point in my life, those were three things
(08:19):
that I feel like I did not have.I did not have the comfort of
father. I didn't feel like I had that.
I didn't have the security of knowing that I could be a man or
know how to be a man and I didn't have the warmth.
I felt like at that point in my life, my family was like very
disgruntled. And I just felt like those are
three things that I was lacking.And so as I was creating this
product that was just so happened to be a product that
(08:41):
was like a sleeping bag, you know, it would to hopefully keep
you comfort, security and warm out in the elements.
As I was trying to diverge and separate these things between
like what is the identity of myself versus the identity of
this business, I realized that the values, the things that I
care about are helping people feel comfortable, helping people
feel secure, helping people feelwarm because in that atmosphere,
(09:04):
I think is when we can thrive the most.
So it was at that point when I was preparing for this picture
competition that I realized likemy character values, the the
things that I care about most. Those are values of me that I
can put into this business with the inside of hammock or I can
put it into this podcast and thepeople that I talked to, or I
can put it into being a father. That's really who I am.
(09:26):
And so as I go through and ask these questions, you know, the
why behind The Who these people are or figuring out who they are
really who they are. It seems like as we're younger,
that's like such a harder question to answer.
There's a lot of the younger guys.
It really is centered around what they do and a lot of the
older men, it's a little bit more centered around their
character traits. I don't know if you guys have
picked up on that and I'd be curious to hear what you think,
(09:48):
but that's something I've noticed and it takes a level of
maturity. And really, honestly, it's, it's
my goal by asking these questions to hopefully help
people to think and realize like, oh, what I do doesn't
define who I am, the way or the,the motivations behind what I do
and the, the desire to evoke an emotion or a feeling or an
(10:08):
experience in another person by way, either way I interact with
him. Those are who I am.
Because when I talked to, well, he's Larry Upton for an example.
When I talked to him about bamboo works and whatnot, he did
such an amazing job of, like, putting affirmation back into me
in the episode of, like, saying,Oh, wow, like, this is such a
good question. Oh, you did your research there.
And I think there's some obviousnatural chemistry there.
(10:30):
But I think that part of his character traits, part of who he
is, is to help people feel empowered and to understand
their value. If I think of who else gonna.
Yeah. With Colin Chartier, that was a
pretty big episode this year when I was talking to him.
You know, it was really important for him in the way
that he was expressing his past experience in the way that he
wants to work with others and torealizing what's really holding
(10:53):
you back is kind of your mindset.
But how what you believe about yourself and in all of these
episodes like that just continues to come back up is
that I think that is what reallymakes a person who who they are
is how they relate to the personsitting across from them.
So that's that's that one point.Hopefully that makes sense.
And then the second point is here, the cost of high
(11:15):
performance. And so never, nearly every
athlete, musician, founder or creator has talked about the
sacrifices it takes is family, time, money, stability, mental
health, this level of obsession,the loneliness of chasing
excellence, the tiny margin between fulfillment and burnout.
And this is something that everyone has struggled with.
And what no one tells you about chasing the big goals is, you
(11:39):
know, it's just interesting. You can contrast, I can contrast
like my Iron Man pursuit with the guest stories and talk about
the emotional cost and not just the training stress scores,
right? Because as I started in doing
Iron Man training the very firsttime, I was so overly burdened
by the numbers. You know, I've been talking
(12:01):
about the 70.3, not even the full Iron Man in the beginning.
I started to kind of have this hockey stick and then I start to
put all of my eggs in that basket for like, that's where my
dopamine is going to come from. It's getting higher numbers,
getting quicker paces, getting better in the pool, getting a
higher age group podium, whatever.
Or in my business world, gettingmore sales, getting more people
interested, more people on social talking about it.
(12:21):
You know, it's just the cost of going to be high performing.
High performing I think is something that actually doesn't
have to cost that much. But it really comes back down to
The Who of why you are doing what you're doing or the why of
what you're doing. And if you can answer that
(12:42):
question. I don't think it has to cost as
much. You know, it's interesting with
like Iron Man or any high performing individual,
especially in the ultra scene, Ifeel like most people are
running from something, whether that's a bad divorce, whether
that's a bad experience that they had in life, an injury,
some kind of tragic traumatic injury or experience.
(13:04):
We all like to do something hardafterwards that seems like
almost like prove to ourselves that we are worth it.
And that is a very powerful source of motivation. 100%.
But I think oftentimes this costof high performance when I've
talked to, I would say the majority of people who are
Olympians and whatnot, is that, I don't know, it almost costs
(13:24):
your humanity to a point. Because once you reach that
goal, like so many people, they kind of feel lost afterwards and
it's feels empty. I've talked to a number of
Olympians and we know when they finish and then they're coming
home on the airplane post the Olympics, no one really cares as
much because it's over. And so everyone kind of goes
back to their respective things because there's so much
attention put on the high performer when they're at their
(13:47):
peak, but it all just disappearsas soon as they're off their
peak. No one cares.
Everyone thinks it's so amazing when someone runs across
America, but it's only like really interesting when they're
like right at the end or they've, they're 300 days of 350
days in or whatever. And I think that's such a human
thing. So the cost of high performance
for a lot of people is that theyput a lot of stake into that
(14:08):
finish line and then they get there and then it's just quiet.
It's crickets. There's nothing else left.
And so I think for me, realizingthat that doesn't have to be the
cost of high performance in sport, in business, in religion,
and especially spirituality and whatever.
Because if I talk about religiona lot, if I was to put all of my
(14:28):
emphasis on just the second coming, I think of Christ coming
back. I think that that's not just it,
it's, it's what's promised beyond that.
It's the eternity. Like to continue to learn, to
continue to build, to continue to understand, to explore, You
know, there always has to kind of be this pursuit of more, I
(14:49):
think. But when it's just the finish
line is the focus, we lose sightof the present where we are now.
And I think even more so, we lose sight of what's beyond
that, which is the future for all those Olympians.
What's beyond the Olympics? I think it's finding peace with
yourself. Yeah.
So there's a lot, a lot to be said there.
But I think to kind of wrap thispoint up, the cost of high
performance oftentimes is familymoney, stability, mental health.
(15:11):
But it doesn't have to be. I think what it can be is a
shift to not just the present but also the future.
Like, how will this affect me beyond what I do, you know,
beyond when I get to the finish line of whatever this thing is.
Yeah, So the next one is kind ofgoes along with this.
It's the transitions and identity.
(15:33):
This was massive across guests from athletes retiring,
musicians shifting, shifting careers, people moving from
competitor triathlete to coach, life transitions in my case for
to parenthood, faith changes, letting go of old versions of of
our self. The ability.
I think this is so important. The ability to let go of quote
(15:56):
UN quote, who you used to be is so important.
You know, I've gone through different stages of life and to
be able to separate myself, going back to The Who is
question, separating myself fromthe things I've done while
taking the experiences and taking the wisdom from them.
Taking those character traits that enabled me to do that one
thing to that will hopefully enable me to do even better the
(16:17):
thing in the future is so important.
And I think it's most even more important for people who've done
things that are just not good, bad, whether it's criminally
related, whether it's work related, it was just a bad
experience. Whatever it is, to be able to
especially separate yourself andto realize that, well, who I was
yesterday does not dictate who Iam today.
(16:37):
That doesn't mean that there aren't tendencies that push us
in a certain direction, but I believe that with the right
people, we surround ourself with, but more importantly, the
right mindset around who we are in the light of, in the eyes of
an all all powerful God who loves us as there are like as
his sons and daughters, that that's what allows us to have
(17:00):
that transformation. In the religious terms, it's a
baptism. In triathlon terms, it's going
into the offseason and going andsearching for some new, no, some
new goal, whatever it is. Like you have to transform.
There has to be some transformation.
And in order to truly transform,you have to let go of the old
and put on the new. So yeah, I think that's a good
(17:22):
way to wrap up that point. So the 4th is faith, morality
and meaning. So as you guys know, not every
guest that I've had is deeply religious, but many touch on how
suffering has LED them to faith or ethics in a chaotic world.
You know, it's interesting, the role, the role of belief in
staying grounded. Most people talked about this,
(17:43):
like the ability to kind of get grounded or to realize what
matters most in the most intenseportions of a race, in the most
intense portions of a training block or schedule.
Yeah. Like for me, my own reflections
with this, especially recent ones on, like, sin, fatherhood,
the pornography stuff, dealing with anger.
They pair beautifully with this,with this theme, especially with
(18:05):
me because I think I am, I know I am deeply religious and trying
to always find my way forward tofind meaning in something we
have to stop and appreciate. I think the humanness of where
we are. You know, for the past several
months or so I've been getting kind of burnt out with the
podcast because I was trying to record too many episodes to to
(18:26):
create a backlog. When I first started, I was
doing one a week and it was going really well and I had like
this huge backlog. But then I was like 3 or 4
months pre recorded and it was alittle crazy.
It created this need to have more people lined up and a lot
of scheduling and I don't know what it was, but this season of
life that I'm in or just God, I don't know what you want to call
it the universe. A lot of people were falling
(18:46):
through and I was scrambling to get guests on.
And I think I became a little less driven by my curiosity to
get people on because of who they were and more of just I
wanted to feel fill a spot. And I think that came through
because my overall motivation started to wane a little bit.
And when that goes out the door,kind of hope was saying at the
very beginning, like when my heart isn't in it as much, the
(19:09):
curiosity just doesn't come through and the conversations
aren't as good. So, you know, I realized like,
OK, I need to slow down a littlebit.
Obviously, take a break, which I'm about to do, but also more
or more or less like having people come in and only be a
part of this podcast that I'm really interested in.
So I'm committed to that for thenext year and I have quite a
list. So we'll get into that hopefully
(19:29):
here in a little bit toward the end of this.
But .5 a mental health, suffering and emotional
intelligence. So from the endurance athletes
to the business owners, to the musicians, people have struggled
with and continue and always will struggle with, but anxiety,
depression, addiction, learning to live in the heart instead of
in the head, that's a huge one. Learning to like yourself,
(19:51):
that's a a huge piece. And the discipline of emotional
self-awareness. This was such a huge theme,
especially, you know, in in the episode with Adam Campbell, I
don't know if you remember him, but he was the guy who lost his
wife in an avalanche. I've been struck by lightning
and a number of different things.
Just the ability to look at yourself and if you realize
(20:11):
you're burnt out, if you realizeyou need help, if you realize
you need rest, you got to take that rest.
And I think the only way that wereally start to like.
Develop that self-awareness and emotional intelligence is to
slow down a bit. You know, it's so interesting.
I heard on a podcast that I really like listening to Modern
Wisdom with Chris Williamson. You should check it out if you
haven't. It's so good.
(20:32):
One of the things he was sharingis that, you know, you really
can tell what a person cares about by their shower thoughts.
And most of us when we go in theshower, there's nothing else
going on. We're just kind of washing our
our face body, brushing our teeth, whatever.
If you do that in the shower, ifyou're a European and you can
tell a lot about yourself by what those thoughts are.
And I realized that the reason that is so potent and powerful,
it's because, well, that's when we're not distracted.
(20:54):
So making sure that we have timeset apart when we're not
distracted by any screen or anything else and we're just
kind of focused on one task can help with that self reflection.
And that's why I think swimming,biking and running is so
powerful when especially when you're not listening to music, I
would say even when you're not listening to music, because that
enables you to kind of process through thoughts.
(21:15):
And I think that's how you buildself-awareness is like spending
more time with yourself in silence.
It's so important. And if we don't have that, if
we're constantly putting stuff inside, then you end up empty or
worse, you end up just kind of spewing out what you've already
taken in. And so opinions become non
original. There's no such thing as like a
(21:37):
critical thought or, you know, your own creative thought or
just a way to think about something differently.
We end up being just models or replications of everything that
we've taken in. So if you want to be unique,
take some time to be silent withyourself.
I think that's super important. So let's go on to the next
(21:57):
point, the myth of making it from pros.
So we're talking about triathlon, cycling, music.
Again, business owners to entrepreneurs.
Everyone thought making it wouldfeel different than it actually
did. Success does not heal wounds.
So you can have a big resume andfeel empty.
And when it comes down to it, real success is internal
stability plus aligned values. So that really goes back to The
(22:18):
Who is question. And going back to like the the
feeling of like the drought after a huge race or an Olympian
coming home from the Olympics, whether they were successful or
not, first place or 25th place, everyone thought that getting
there would feel a bit different.
And it always does feel amazing to get there in the beginning.
But then that that emotion evaporates so fast.
(22:39):
But, you know, I've been fortunate enough to get to know
quite a few millionaires and even a few smaller billionaires.
And as I've gotten to know thesepeople, if there's one thing I
realize that they have shared with me is that they value time
above all else. And that's because their time is
constantly being grabbed for. And most of them, in their
relentless pursuit of more, did not find what they were looking
(23:02):
for. Often times, I would say every
time, it ends up feeling empty. There's this old saying, MO
money, MO problems. And that's so true because with
great money comes great responsibility, I think, and you
can abuse that responsibility. And also when you have so much
at your disposal and it's cheap and it costs nothing, like
(23:23):
convenience is the killer of allgood things.
And so whether you're wealthy orat the peak of wherever you are,
you kind of forget what it was like to fight for something.
And it is it is that pursuit of trying to make it that is, I
think what we should find the most joy and peace in.
Yeah. Because it's like, there's no,
there's no such thing as made itwhen we all are dying on our
(23:46):
deathbed. If we ask that person or ask
yourself, did you make it, I think we're going to measure
that. Use the yardstick of how much
time we spent with our family and did our children love us,
did our spouses love us, did we love our spouses, Do we love our
friends that are closest to us? I think that's what making it
is. It's not monetary.
(24:07):
Now, I'm not saying there's not a place for monetary gain and
I'm not saying that being rich or being a billionaire is a bad
thing. I hope there's a few
billionaires out there that can say that they've lived a good
life and that their family lovesthem.
Same with entrepreneurs and highperforming athletes.
But I think if we really got to it, at the end of the day, most
of them are not going to care about any of the things that
they did. They're going to care more about
what values they expressed to those that they loved and how
(24:29):
they enriched their lives. So it really keeps circling back
to this who is question. It's really interesting.
So .7 the quiet power of community.
So I have constantly talked about, you know, when asking
this who question, like who supported them?
Who shaped you? Who did you learn from?
How did your parents affect the way that you grew up?
Who are your mentors? What's your spouse like,
(24:50):
training partners, community. So within all of these episodes,
I've asked this question and these questions and I've
realized that community is so key.
And I feel like I'm preaching tothe choir here.
You guys know this, like community is so incredibly
important. But I think that there's really
just one thing to take away fromthis is that no one gets
anywhere alone. It's communities that build
great people. There's some people who don't
(25:11):
have much community and their community can be with just like
a small one or two people. But I think that for holistic
growth and to find the most pleasure in life, kind of what
we were talking about before with the billionaire situation
or The Olympian, you're going tocare about what you're doing a
(25:32):
whole lot more if you can bring more people on that journey with
you. I used to really have this
thought, and you guys may have heard me say this on the podcast
before, that if there were just 12 of me on a soccer team, then
it would be the perfect soccer team.
And I had that desire. And I had that belief for so
long when I was younger. And it really wasn't until I got
(25:54):
older. Then I start to realize like,
oh, maybe I'd be really good at like 1 particular thing on the
soccer field. But in terms of like the
diversity of thought, the diversity of expression, the
diversity of skill, you know, weaknesses as well.
The diversity of weaknesses is what like we're all strong
(26:15):
together because we can plug in all of our strengths and let our
weaknesses become the strength of another.
Yeah. I think that that's, that's
super important to realize that if we want to have true
fulfillment, if we want to have the best experience in life,
it's often when it's shared withothers.
So I'll leave that to that point.
So .8 becoming someone you're proud of.
(26:36):
So this theme has become more pronounced lately, I think
because of the soon to be arrival of my little daughter.
We have decide on decided on thename Noel, by the way, Noel
Haven Hill. So you know, I've talked a lot
about discussing character, discussing character over
achievement, doing emotional work, becoming kinder, more
patient, more rooted, becoming the person that my child would
(26:58):
admire. So there's a question here
written for me from Chacha PT iswho am I becoming and am I proud
of that person? I don't know if I can say that
I'm proud of the person I am so far I am proud of.
What am I proud of? I'm proud that I have learned
how to be consistent over time. Yeah, I think I'm, I'm proud of
(27:25):
that. I've been able to be consistent
over time. My first thing that I really
finished, and I mean like reallyfinished through to its
completion. I think it was like my college
degree. I don't love the college system,
but it was the first thing that I completed that was like a long
haul thing that needed a lot of attention and focus.
And as I've gotten older and have graduated from college and
(27:47):
have gone on to start other things, I feel like I have truly
started to see things through tothe bitter end.
Oftentimes it was with failure in the business world.
But with triathlon, like I've been doing it for five years
now. I've done 3 Iron Man's, three
full Iron Man's and I probably close to 10 or 11 half and 70
point threes. And if there's one thing I'm
proud of, I think I'm proud of my consistency and my desire to
(28:10):
try harder. But you know, honestly, guys,
even in my marriage, it's so hard for me at times when I'll
just be super open and honest. Like my wife goes through her
own struggles and on the mental health side.
And at certain points, and I think this is true for everyone,
but at certain points in her life, like she's more sensitive
to my just kind of brashness or my words than others.
(28:33):
And whenever she's more sensitive, I become even more
aware of like, OK, these are thethings that I can work on to be
like softer and kinder and more loving.
And ma'am, whenever I fail in those instances, whenever I do
something that makes her cry, itmakes me feel absolutely
horrible. And this is something I'm going
to have to really work through whenever I have a daughter
because I'm sure that she'll be sensitive in a way too.
And there's always this, you know, the stories we hear about
(28:56):
fathers with their sons or fathers with their daughters
were like, they were hard on them.
And then, you know, it takes till the son or daughter gets to
their 20s when they can be like think their father for, you
know, who they are, even though they were kind of a hard man.
I don't necessarily want to be that.
But one thing I'm going to struggle with, I think is
whenever I do something that makes my children cry, it's
going to be so hard for me. I don't know why, you know, like
(29:16):
tears. When I see someone crying, it
really hits me. It's like I feel it even to the
point of a fault. Maybe if someone is crying, even
if they're in the wrong, it's still cuts so deep to me because
it's like, oh, they're experiencing such a real raw
emotion. And whatever they're feeling,
whatever they're believing internally, whether it's right
or wrong that's circled around that emotion and that
(29:38):
expression, they're still feeling it.
So how can I help them feel loved again?
And from like a position of whenhaving kids, I imagine when it
comes to disciplining, it may beharder for me to be disciplined
enough to help them guide them along the right path.
Like, I don't want to. I meant danger, I guess of what
I'm saying is that to giving toomuch, just like catering too
(29:59):
much to someone because they show emotion.
So I have something I'm going tohave to work on.
But am I proud of who I'm becoming?
I can't truly honestly say that I am proud of who I've becoming
yet. I don't know.
Maybe I can. Maybe I should.
Maybe I should say that. Like I am proud of who I'm
becoming. And yeah, you know what?
As I'm saying this, I'm going tochoose to say that because I
(30:19):
think it's important to have that belief in that I am
becoming something more beautiful.
You know, something I pray for every morning is for God to come
into my heart and help me to live a life that is more a
reflection of him, but very importantly is to help people
feel like they are loved, specifically my marriage.
One thing I pray about is for God to help me love my wife like
(30:41):
he loves the church. You know, for those who may be
confused about what that means, just think about Jesus on the
cross. Whether you believe it or
whether you believe in Christianity or not, I believe
Jesus was a real person. He came to to rescue the earth
from the bitterness of sin and the people who he called like
(31:02):
his special chosen people, the Israelites literally crucified
him, hung him on a tree and ripped his skin to shreds and
spat on him. And he still went up on that
Christ and the cross and died for them.
And that's the kind of love thatI want to have for my family, my
wife, and even my fellow man. That is a love that is so hard
to understand. To love someone so much that you
(31:24):
can sit there and watch them abuse you and just take
advantage of you. But to still have a heart that
loves the inner child of whoeverthat perpetrator is is like
something I really pray for. So I am proud that I'm trying to
become that. So that's .8.
But this ninth point is curiosity as a way of life.
(31:44):
So the entire premise of my showis to ask better questions, to
help guests think deeper, to probe and to the uncomfortable,
which I'm trying to get better at.
I really am trying to ask more questions and be OK with being
uncomfortable. There were a few times this year
where I had some questions written down that I did not ask
because I was afraid. I was just afraid.
So I'm committing this year to ask you some of those questions.
(32:06):
I want to be willing to do that,but I need to build.
The thing that's hard is like I have to build and I need to
build rapport with the guests before I just kind of dive in
because I don't want people to be on the defensive.
And honestly, the questions I ask, it's it's more from a
position of being curious. But if I ever got to a place
where I was asking questions that were accusatory, I don't
think that yields any truth. I don't think that that
(32:27):
curiosity type, if you could even call that, reveals any
truth, definitely doesn't expandin empathy in any sort of a way.
So yeah, curiosity is something I definitely want to continue to
lead with. And yeah, this curiosity of this
podcast has changed my life in anumber of ways.
You know, back in August, I gavemyself a month to find 5 new
opportunities or excuse me, one opportunity that I could employ
(32:51):
myself in going into the new year to give my wife the option
to stay, be a stay at home full time mom.
And in doing that, I gave myselflike a month.
I found five opportunities. None of them have materialized
into anything super solid yet. They've materialized in that
I've had conversations and it looks like some stuff's going to
start in the new year and I'll share that whenever that time
comes. But nothing is signed, sealed,
(33:13):
delivered. It's kind of waiting and pending
upon the New Year's. That's where I am.
It is filled with curiosity and I want to continue to make sure
that that fire is stoked and that I don't burn myself out.
So that's that. And then the final one here to
kind of wrap up this 10th point,a recap is what my guests taught
me about suffering. I think this is a good one to
(33:34):
end on. So what my guests have taught me
about suffering. Suffering is a good thing, I
think on this earth, and I'll preface that with saying if you
(33:56):
can find healing after the suffering, anybody can go out
and smash their bike, work out as hard as they can with no
recovery until failure. And then if you do that again
the next day or even multiple times per day, if you continue
to suffer without the recovery and healing, it's nothing.
(34:17):
It literally will just kill you.But if you go through traumatic
experiences, if you suffer and you find healing afterwards, I
think that is what affords the greatest growth and of wisdom,
of experience, even of monetary value, if that's what you're
shooting, after that stress is only as good as its recovery.
(34:41):
So, yeah, those are the top pieces of high impact that kind
of wrap up those big pieces of story, our stories that I have
learned about this past year. Yeah.
So now I guess we'll go ahead and move into this final portion
of the podcast and that's talking about some of the big
things that were on my mind. So this this segment, I'm gonna
(35:02):
move into a little bit more emotions and just things that
I've been thinking about some ofthese points here, the things
I've learned about myself 1. I don't want to take sponsorship
unless it's something that just excites me to share.
I realized that after I did a few of the earlier deals this
past year, it just didn't feel right.
I didn't want to push any type of a product or service if I
wasn't like just truly not only curious about it, but it's
(35:24):
something that just excited me to to share.
Yeah, just not there yet. So that's something I learned.
Recording 2 * a week, as I said briefly before, can be pretty
Dang exhausting. So I am choosing this next year
to to not do any more than two aweek.
If I have to skip an episode or something, I think I'm going to
be willing to do that because yeah, it just, it ends up being
(35:45):
so difficult to come up and perform every week and ask these
deep questions if I don't allow myself some time to rest.
So that's something that I've learned from this past year #3
this podcast has been a long time coming.
I've actually, I was writing it down.
I've had previous podcasts, three of them that I did before
this to that have like literallyno listeners.
(36:05):
So one of them was about my business sway making inside
hammocks. Another one was about this
assisted living company that I was starting as a software that
was to service a lot of the internal needs for these
assisted living centers called Gray Rush.
That one I did and learned a lot.
And then one I did for a whole year, once a month called Give
Well, where I documented one of my friends journeys of giving
(36:27):
money away each month and just seeing what his lessons were
that he learned. So this podcast was a long time
coming. Yeah, but you do now.
We'll serve you in the future. I would have never guessed that
my one-on-one with people in college would have led me to do
in this podcast. I've talked in the past about my
college experience when I was starting a business, just going
(36:47):
downtown Chattanooga and being introduced to so many
interesting people and getting to sit down with them and ask
them questions about their lives.
It really prepared me for this podcast.
It gave me an opportunity to learn how to connect with
someone interpersonally. And what I realized after all
those conversations is similar with the podcast.
Once you start talking these people, things kind of always
(37:07):
turn around to talking about thedeep things of life, and I
really enjoy that. So I would have never guessed
that that prepared me for where I am today, but that is true and
that's where I am. So here's a few things that I've
learned about how people work through my guests.
One, people who perform at the highest level know who they are.
Two, everyone is human. People are people.
No amount of physical ability ormoney can change this.
(37:28):
We all want the same things. Going back to what I was saying
about people on their deathbed, at the end of the day, we're all
human. We're all going to care about
the same things when we die. Where we loved, Who are the
people we love? Do they love us back?
How have we enriched their lives?
Three, not many feel that they've made it.
Some do. I think that there will always
be some doubt and always anothermountain to climb.
So going back to what I was saying about the focus being on
(37:51):
the present journey and after the finish line, that future, if
you can focus on those things, Ithink that's what allows you to
have the most fulfillment in life where you don't even have
to worry about quote UN quote making it.
And then the 4th 1 here, those who know who they are are the
happiest. If you know what values you hold
that give you meaning into the way you operate your life and
(38:14):
your interactions with others, Ithink that's what bring about
true happiness. Because if you know who you are
and why you do what you do, thenyou can go do whatever you do
with that much more passion, fire and love.
So now I just want to kind of answer a couple of questions
that I wrote to myself here about what the future of this
show is and what I want it to be.
(38:35):
I want it to be a place where I can have on anyone I'm curious
about, get to know them from an interpersonal level and give
them a platform to share their story that doesn't judge them
for what they're doing. And I mean that in the best
sense. So oftentimes for the triathlon
world, you'll have in the question you ask, oh, how'd you
do in your last race? So give us a race recap.
(38:56):
Oh, tell us about how you were thinking about on the bike.
Think is what we think about theswim.
I would love to get into the heads of other sports and
operating pieces of life. I'd love to get on some Formula
One drivers. That's obviously way up there.
We'll see if that ever happens. I think it will.
I just want to have people on who do amazing things but not
talk about the amazing thing. I want to take a talk about them
as an individual. So that's what I want out of
(39:17):
this show in the future. I want to create that community
and hopefully enable the community to go out and have
conversations with other people that help them see that people
are more than what they do. So if you want to go out and
have a conversation with Lucy Charles or whoever in the
triathlon world or whatever sphere of influence you're most
interested in, having a conversation with that person
(39:38):
that allows the person to be seen more than just what they
do. I think that's what I want out
of this show. So where am I going for 2026 and
beyond? Yeah, I don't know.
That's the true honest question answer to that question.
I don't know exactly where this is all going to go.
All I do know is that I want to continue to be curious, have
(39:58):
people on the podcast who interest me and build out my
network so that hopefully, yeah,I can have more and more people
realize through these conversations that they are
valuable, they are wanted, and they're unique and beautiful
individuals. So I think that's what I want
out of it. Thank you so much for listening
(40:18):
to me ramble on through this episode.
It's different. It's actually kind of hard.
I don't know if I did it well, but if it did and bringing any
value to you guys, I really appreciate it.
If you could let me know in the comments and if there's
something you want to see me do more in 2026.
If there's any feedback you have, feel free to leave that in
the comments, like review, comment, subscribe, all those
(40:41):
things. But for the few OG people who
listened all the way through this, you're the real MVP.
Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much for enabling me to continue on this journey.
And yeah, I would talk to you guys in 2026 and look forward to
continuing the journey ahead. Thank you.
Hey, how's it going everybody? And welcome back again to
another episode of the Stupid Questions podcast.
This one is obviously different.It is the end of the season
episode. So this past one year, 100 or so
episodes. Yeah.
First off, I just want to say thank you so much for being
here. It really means a whole lot to
me that you listen to this podcast.
If this is the first episode you've ever heard, I want to
(00:24):
encourage you to go listen to some of the past ones first.
But if you are here for that, thank you as well.
Yeah, I just, I can't express enough gratitude.
When I started this podcast, I really had no other intention
other than trying to start something that brought a lot of
joy to me. I don't know if you guys listen
to episode 100, but if you didn't, one of the things that I
brought forward was just this idea that, you know, this
(00:45):
podcast was really a culminationof a lot of my past.
Asking people questions has continued to be and has been for
a very long time, just the bedrock, I think, of how I, as a
human, as a man, have tried to grow.
I've shared this in a number of different episodes, some more in
depth and others. But, you know, losing my father
(01:06):
at 16 years old to suicide no less, left me asking a lot of
tremendous questions. And a lot of the times the
questions that I had, I tried tofind key individuals in my life
who I could ask those questions of by way of action, by way of
just observation to try to fill,I guess more or less the empty
(01:27):
pieces of I felt like my my soul, my heart, my experience
had. And it's been a joy and honor
through this podcast to ask the same questions, to figure out
what makes people do what they do, how they become who they are
and who they are more than anything else.
And wow, there's so much to go over over this episode.
But here's what I've done over the past 100 episodes.
(01:49):
I took every one of those transcripts and downloaded them
and I threw them into Tracha PT collectively here recently and
asked Tracha PT GPT to to pull out the through lines that I've
learned from those past episodesand it has given me 10 points to
go over. So I'm going to go over those 10
points in the first part of the episode.
I will say I have only looked atthem briefly because I wanted my
(02:11):
answers to be kind of off the cuff, similarly to how I expect
my guests to perform to share onthe podcast.
I normally don't give them any questions ahead of time except
for if they know about The Who question, they can think about
that one a bit. But in similar fashion, I'm
going to go through these 10 points and give just kind of my
thoughts and see what comes to mind.
It's not super overdone, which Idon't think any of you expect in
(02:33):
this in this podcast, but there is some structure to it.
So that's going to be the first part of the episode and then the
second part of the episode is going to be a little bit closer
home. Some of the mental stuff,
thoughts, vision for the future,thankfulness around this podcast
and we'll just see how it goes. So thank you so much for being
here. If this isn't your cup of tea,
you can go ahead and skip through now.
We are going to jump to these 10points, go through the things
(02:55):
that I've learned this past year, take some reflection time
and just spend some time together.
And yeah, hopefully I learned something about myself a little
bit more. Hopefully you guys learn too.
And I will say I have been thinking about this for a couple
of weeks now since I recorded mylast episode of the season.
As I've kind of slowly dripped the last few ones of the season
approaching this one, I was a bit more a bit scared or is that
(03:17):
a word? A bit more trepidatious.
I wanted to do it right. I don't know.
I feel like there's an expectation growing within
myself and probably within the listener as well as I try to do
a better job at this podcast. There's a level of quality I
think that needs to be displayed.
And so I wanted to make sure that before I jumped into this
episode, I had really kind of thought about some of the
lessons that I've learned and tried to think about, you know,
(03:38):
what things that I could share that would hopefully add value
back to you guys. But more than anything, if
there's one thing I've learned about anything that is public
facing, whether it's music performance or public speaking
or even doing the podcast, if it's not coming from the heart,
it's not real, doesn't add as much of value, doesn't add
inspiration to myself and others, and it's not motivating
as well. So and everything that I share
(03:59):
on this podcast today, it is my hope, it is my goal to share
from a place of truth and experience.
So let's go and jump into it. So the first point, the why
behind who people become, this is a topic obviously through the
initial coup question. Sometimes I've asked that
question right the beginning of the episode to kind of get
people that jump in. But I've kind of morphed that
(04:20):
over time into letting the conversation flow naturally how
I would if I was meeting someonebrand new off the street and
then finding the most appropriate time to ask that.
Usually after I have a little bit more of a history of who
they are. I don't know if that's the best
way to do it yet, honestly. 204 times, and the majority of those
being one-on-one interviews by at large, probably greater than
(04:40):
180 of them. And I still haven't figured out
the best way to do that, to be honest.
But to answer that question or to think about that a little bit
more like why? The why behind who people
become, you know, what I have learned is through all these
conversations and in viewing my own life is that what really
matters is who you are when no one else is watching.
Why does that matter? You know, you guys know from me,
(05:03):
you know, I'll get really open and raw about this.
I've shared on the podcast number of times that I've been
clean from pornography for six months.
And that really taps into The Who I am, even though no one was
watching. Give me just one second.
We're going to pause for a second.
And why that matters so much is,at least to me, you know, it's
(05:24):
so hard to know what a true person's intentions are when we
get to know them. You know, I meet with people
time and time again weekly on this podcast and I immediately
start drawing A-frame of reference to go to as I relate
to this person and the questionsI asked them.
And how much can I trust them? And are they trustworthy?
Are the things that they're saying true?
(05:44):
You know, your, but your mind and your body's like going
through all of these observations and, and wanting to
understand the person sitting across from you.
And no matter how good a person is and seems on the outside, we
are all human and what we do when no one is watching truly
matters because that that that really shows who we are.
I know for me speaking personally, there will be
(06:06):
telltale signs, things that happen in my character that will
give a hint to what I'm doing when no one else is watching.
With pornography, I think it allends up time being like sexual
jokes because if you think aboutsex all the time, like that's
where you're gonna make jokes about.
It's just like whatever the majority of the consumption is
in your private life. I think that is what comes
through and overflows on the outset.
(06:28):
And so when asking the question like, well, who is whatever, I
think that's why most people when I ask that question is they
give me a kind of a laundry listof things that they do or have
done. And there's a human element to
that because I think that, you know, part of our identity is in
what we do. But what's more, I think what is
the at the bedrock of that is how we do those things.
(06:53):
The character traits that we display as we go out and, and
try to be a professional athleteand try to be a father in trying
to be a business leader. And I'll tell you how I learned
this lesson. I had the opportunity with one
of my first businesses to go to a pitch competition in Berlin,
Germany. And this pitch competition is
essentially, you know, you have your business, you get up on
(07:15):
stage, you talk about it, and you basically paint a picture of
why people should invest in it. And then there were some
investors around who would potentially invest if they were
interested. And then there was a prize purse
for whoever won the pitch competition.
It's basically like a public speaking thing, whoever can make
the thing look the coolest and whatever wins.
And as I was preparing for that pitch competition, this was like
my second or third one. I was really having this crisis
(07:37):
of like trying to figure out howto separate myself from the
business because I realized as Iwas talking about this business,
I was really talking about myself and the things that it
was going to do. I felt like I was going to do.
And it was so interlocked. But I started to realize the
need to be able to separate my identity with this business.
(07:57):
And what do I mean by that? Your character traits are what
make you who you are. So when I was at this pitch
competition in Berlin, I had this slogan for this hammock
company that was called Sway. That was comfort, security and
warmth. That's what this product was
going to give you, comfort, security and warmth.
And for me, in that point in my life, those were three things
(08:19):
that I feel like I did not have.I did not have the comfort of
father. I didn't feel like I had that.
I didn't have the security of knowing that I could be a man or
know how to be a man and I didn't have the warmth.
I felt like at that point in my life, my family was like very
disgruntled. And I just felt like those are
three things that I was lacking.And so as I was creating this
product that was just so happened to be a product that
(08:41):
was like a sleeping bag, you know, it would to hopefully keep
you comfort, security and warm out in the elements.
As I was trying to diverge and separate these things between
like what is the identity of myself versus the identity of
this business, I realized that the values, the things that I
care about are helping people feel comfortable, helping people
feel secure, helping people feelwarm because in that atmosphere,
(09:04):
I think is when we can thrive the most.
So it was at that point when I was preparing for this picture
competition that I realized likemy character values, the the
things that I care about most. Those are values of me that I
can put into this business with the inside of hammock or I can
put it into this podcast and thepeople that I talked to, or I
can put it into being a father. That's really who I am.
(09:26):
And so as I go through and ask these questions, you know, the
why behind The Who these people are or figuring out who they are
really who they are. It seems like as we're younger,
that's like such a harder question to answer.
There's a lot of the younger guys.
It really is centered around what they do and a lot of the
older men, it's a little bit more centered around their
character traits. I don't know if you guys have
picked up on that and I'd be curious to hear what you think,
(09:48):
but that's something I've noticed and it takes a level of
maturity. And really, honestly, it's, it's
my goal by asking these questions to hopefully help
people to think and realize like, oh, what I do doesn't
define who I am, the way or the,the motivations behind what I do
and the, the desire to evoke an emotion or a feeling or an
(10:08):
experience in another person by way, either way I interact with
him. Those are who I am.
Because when I talked to, well, he's Larry Upton for an example.
When I talked to him about bamboo works and whatnot, he did
such an amazing job of, like, putting affirmation back into me
in the episode of, like, saying,Oh, wow, like, this is such a
good question. Oh, you did your research there.
And I think there's some obviousnatural chemistry there.
(10:30):
But I think that part of his character traits, part of who he
is, is to help people feel empowered and to understand
their value. If I think of who else gonna.
Yeah. With Colin Chartier, that was a
pretty big episode this year when I was talking to him.
You know, it was really important for him in the way
that he was expressing his past experience in the way that he
wants to work with others and torealizing what's really holding
(10:53):
you back is kind of your mindset.
But how what you believe about yourself and in all of these
episodes like that just continues to come back up is
that I think that is what reallymakes a person who who they are
is how they relate to the personsitting across from them.
So that's that's that one point.Hopefully that makes sense.
And then the second point is here, the cost of high
(11:15):
performance. And so never, nearly every
athlete, musician, founder or creator has talked about the
sacrifices it takes is family, time, money, stability, mental
health, this level of obsession,the loneliness of chasing
excellence, the tiny margin between fulfillment and burnout.
And this is something that everyone has struggled with.
And what no one tells you about chasing the big goals is, you
(11:39):
know, it's just interesting. You can contrast, I can contrast
like my Iron Man pursuit with the guest stories and talk about
the emotional cost and not just the training stress scores,
right? Because as I started in doing
Iron Man training the very firsttime, I was so overly burdened
by the numbers. You know, I've been talking
(12:01):
about the 70.3, not even the full Iron Man in the beginning.
I started to kind of have this hockey stick and then I start to
put all of my eggs in that basket for like, that's where my
dopamine is going to come from. It's getting higher numbers,
getting quicker paces, getting better in the pool, getting a
higher age group podium, whatever.
Or in my business world, gettingmore sales, getting more people
interested, more people on social talking about it.
(12:21):
You know, it's just the cost of going to be high performing.
High performing I think is something that actually doesn't
have to cost that much. But it really comes back down to
The Who of why you are doing what you're doing or the why of
what you're doing. And if you can answer that
(12:42):
question. I don't think it has to cost as
much. You know, it's interesting with
like Iron Man or any high performing individual,
especially in the ultra scene, Ifeel like most people are
running from something, whether that's a bad divorce, whether
that's a bad experience that they had in life, an injury,
some kind of tragic traumatic injury or experience.
(13:04):
We all like to do something hardafterwards that seems like
almost like prove to ourselves that we are worth it.
And that is a very powerful source of motivation. 100%.
But I think oftentimes this costof high performance when I've
talked to, I would say the majority of people who are
Olympians and whatnot, is that, I don't know, it almost costs
(13:24):
your humanity to a point. Because once you reach that
goal, like so many people, they kind of feel lost afterwards and
it's feels empty. I've talked to a number of
Olympians and we know when they finish and then they're coming
home on the airplane post the Olympics, no one really cares as
much because it's over. And so everyone kind of goes
back to their respective things because there's so much
attention put on the high performer when they're at their
(13:47):
peak, but it all just disappearsas soon as they're off their
peak. No one cares.
Everyone thinks it's so amazing when someone runs across
America, but it's only like really interesting when they're
like right at the end or they've, they're 300 days of 350
days in or whatever. And I think that's such a human
thing. So the cost of high performance
for a lot of people is that theyput a lot of stake into that
(14:08):
finish line and then they get there and then it's just quiet.
It's crickets. There's nothing else left.
And so I think for me, realizingthat that doesn't have to be the
cost of high performance in sport, in business, in religion,
and especially spirituality and whatever.
Because if I talk about religiona lot, if I was to put all of my
(14:28):
emphasis on just the second coming, I think of Christ coming
back. I think that that's not just it,
it's, it's what's promised beyond that.
It's the eternity. Like to continue to learn, to
continue to build, to continue to understand, to explore, You
know, there always has to kind of be this pursuit of more, I
(14:49):
think. But when it's just the finish
line is the focus, we lose sightof the present where we are now.
And I think even more so, we lose sight of what's beyond
that, which is the future for all those Olympians.
What's beyond the Olympics? I think it's finding peace with
yourself. Yeah.
So there's a lot, a lot to be said there.
But I think to kind of wrap thispoint up, the cost of high
performance oftentimes is familymoney, stability, mental health.
(15:11):
But it doesn't have to be. I think what it can be is a
shift to not just the present but also the future.
Like, how will this affect me beyond what I do, you know,
beyond when I get to the finish line of whatever this thing is.
Yeah, So the next one is kind ofgoes along with this.
It's the transitions and identity.
(15:33):
This was massive across guests from athletes retiring,
musicians shifting, shifting careers, people moving from
competitor triathlete to coach, life transitions in my case for
to parenthood, faith changes, letting go of old versions of of
our self. The ability.
I think this is so important. The ability to let go of quote
(15:56):
UN quote, who you used to be is so important.
You know, I've gone through different stages of life and to
be able to separate myself, going back to The Who is
question, separating myself fromthe things I've done while
taking the experiences and taking the wisdom from them.
Taking those character traits that enabled me to do that one
thing to that will hopefully enable me to do even better the
(16:17):
thing in the future is so important.
And I think it's most even more important for people who've done
things that are just not good, bad, whether it's criminally
related, whether it's work related, it was just a bad
experience. Whatever it is, to be able to
especially separate yourself andto realize that, well, who I was
yesterday does not dictate who Iam today.
(16:37):
That doesn't mean that there aren't tendencies that push us
in a certain direction, but I believe that with the right
people, we surround ourself with, but more importantly, the
right mindset around who we are in the light of, in the eyes of
an all all powerful God who loves us as there are like as
his sons and daughters, that that's what allows us to have
(17:00):
that transformation. In the religious terms, it's a
baptism. In triathlon terms, it's going
into the offseason and going andsearching for some new, no, some
new goal, whatever it is. Like you have to transform.
There has to be some transformation.
And in order to truly transform,you have to let go of the old
and put on the new. So yeah, I think that's a good
(17:22):
way to wrap up that point. So the 4th is faith, morality
and meaning. So as you guys know, not every
guest that I've had is deeply religious, but many touch on how
suffering has LED them to faith or ethics in a chaotic world.
You know, it's interesting, the role, the role of belief in
staying grounded. Most people talked about this,
(17:43):
like the ability to kind of get grounded or to realize what
matters most in the most intenseportions of a race, in the most
intense portions of a training block or schedule.
Yeah. Like for me, my own reflections
with this, especially recent ones on, like, sin, fatherhood,
the pornography stuff, dealing with anger.
They pair beautifully with this,with this theme, especially with
(18:05):
me because I think I am, I know I am deeply religious and trying
to always find my way forward tofind meaning in something we
have to stop and appreciate. I think the humanness of where
we are. You know, for the past several
months or so I've been getting kind of burnt out with the
podcast because I was trying to record too many episodes to to
(18:26):
create a backlog. When I first started, I was
doing one a week and it was going really well and I had like
this huge backlog. But then I was like 3 or 4
months pre recorded and it was alittle crazy.
It created this need to have more people lined up and a lot
of scheduling and I don't know what it was, but this season of
life that I'm in or just God, I don't know what you want to call
it the universe. A lot of people were falling
(18:46):
through and I was scrambling to get guests on.
And I think I became a little less driven by my curiosity to
get people on because of who they were and more of just I
wanted to feel fill a spot. And I think that came through
because my overall motivation started to wane a little bit.
And when that goes out the door,kind of hope was saying at the
very beginning, like when my heart isn't in it as much, the
(19:09):
curiosity just doesn't come through and the conversations
aren't as good. So, you know, I realized like,
OK, I need to slow down a littlebit.
Obviously, take a break, which I'm about to do, but also more
or more or less like having people come in and only be a
part of this podcast that I'm really interested in.
So I'm committed to that for thenext year and I have quite a
list. So we'll get into that hopefully
(19:29):
here in a little bit toward the end of this.
But .5 a mental health, suffering and emotional
intelligence. So from the endurance athletes
to the business owners, to the musicians, people have struggled
with and continue and always will struggle with, but anxiety,
depression, addiction, learning to live in the heart instead of
in the head, that's a huge one. Learning to like yourself,
(19:51):
that's a a huge piece. And the discipline of emotional
self-awareness. This was such a huge theme,
especially, you know, in in the episode with Adam Campbell, I
don't know if you remember him, but he was the guy who lost his
wife in an avalanche. I've been struck by lightning
and a number of different things.
Just the ability to look at yourself and if you realize
(20:11):
you're burnt out, if you realizeyou need help, if you realize
you need rest, you got to take that rest.
And I think the only way that wereally start to like.
Develop that self-awareness and emotional intelligence is to
slow down a bit. You know, it's so interesting.
I heard on a podcast that I really like listening to Modern
Wisdom with Chris Williamson. You should check it out if you
haven't. It's so good.
(20:32):
One of the things he was sharingis that, you know, you really
can tell what a person cares about by their shower thoughts.
And most of us when we go in theshower, there's nothing else
going on. We're just kind of washing our
our face body, brushing our teeth, whatever.
If you do that in the shower, ifyou're a European and you can
tell a lot about yourself by what those thoughts are.
And I realized that the reason that is so potent and powerful,
it's because, well, that's when we're not distracted.
(20:54):
So making sure that we have timeset apart when we're not
distracted by any screen or anything else and we're just
kind of focused on one task can help with that self reflection.
And that's why I think swimming,biking and running is so
powerful when especially when you're not listening to music, I
would say even when you're not listening to music, because that
enables you to kind of process through thoughts.
(21:15):
And I think that's how you buildself-awareness is like spending
more time with yourself in silence.
It's so important. And if we don't have that, if
we're constantly putting stuff inside, then you end up empty or
worse, you end up just kind of spewing out what you've already
taken in. And so opinions become non
original. There's no such thing as like a
(21:37):
critical thought or, you know, your own creative thought or
just a way to think about something differently.
We end up being just models or replications of everything that
we've taken in. So if you want to be unique,
take some time to be silent withyourself.
I think that's super important. So let's go on to the next
(21:57):
point, the myth of making it from pros.
So we're talking about triathlon, cycling, music.
Again, business owners to entrepreneurs.
Everyone thought making it wouldfeel different than it actually
did. Success does not heal wounds.
So you can have a big resume andfeel empty.
And when it comes down to it, real success is internal
stability plus aligned values. So that really goes back to The
(22:18):
Who is question. And going back to like the the
feeling of like the drought after a huge race or an Olympian
coming home from the Olympics, whether they were successful or
not, first place or 25th place, everyone thought that getting
there would feel a bit different.
And it always does feel amazing to get there in the beginning.
But then that that emotion evaporates so fast.
(22:39):
But, you know, I've been fortunate enough to get to know
quite a few millionaires and even a few smaller billionaires.
And as I've gotten to know thesepeople, if there's one thing I
realize that they have shared with me is that they value time
above all else. And that's because their time is
constantly being grabbed for. And most of them, in their
relentless pursuit of more, did not find what they were looking
(23:02):
for. Often times, I would say every
time, it ends up feeling empty. There's this old saying, MO
money, MO problems. And that's so true because with
great money comes great responsibility, I think, and you
can abuse that responsibility. And also when you have so much
at your disposal and it's cheap and it costs nothing, like
(23:23):
convenience is the killer of allgood things.
And so whether you're wealthy orat the peak of wherever you are,
you kind of forget what it was like to fight for something.
And it is it is that pursuit of trying to make it that is, I
think what we should find the most joy and peace in.
Yeah. Because it's like, there's no,
there's no such thing as made itwhen we all are dying on our
(23:46):
deathbed. If we ask that person or ask
yourself, did you make it, I think we're going to measure
that. Use the yardstick of how much
time we spent with our family and did our children love us,
did our spouses love us, did we love our spouses, Do we love our
friends that are closest to us? I think that's what making it
is. It's not monetary.
(24:07):
Now, I'm not saying there's not a place for monetary gain and
I'm not saying that being rich or being a billionaire is a bad
thing. I hope there's a few
billionaires out there that can say that they've lived a good
life and that their family lovesthem.
Same with entrepreneurs and highperforming athletes.
But I think if we really got to it, at the end of the day, most
of them are not going to care about any of the things that
they did. They're going to care more about
what values they expressed to those that they loved and how
(24:29):
they enriched their lives. So it really keeps circling back
to this who is question. It's really interesting.
So .7 the quiet power of community.
So I have constantly talked about, you know, when asking
this who question, like who supported them?
Who shaped you? Who did you learn from?
How did your parents affect the way that you grew up?
Who are your mentors? What's your spouse like,
(24:50):
training partners, community. So within all of these episodes,
I've asked this question and these questions and I've
realized that community is so key.
And I feel like I'm preaching tothe choir here.
You guys know this, like community is so incredibly
important. But I think that there's really
just one thing to take away fromthis is that no one gets
anywhere alone. It's communities that build
great people. There's some people who don't
(25:11):
have much community and their community can be with just like
a small one or two people. But I think that for holistic
growth and to find the most pleasure in life, kind of what
we were talking about before with the billionaire situation
or The Olympian, you're going tocare about what you're doing a
(25:32):
whole lot more if you can bring more people on that journey with
you. I used to really have this
thought, and you guys may have heard me say this on the podcast
before, that if there were just 12 of me on a soccer team, then
it would be the perfect soccer team.
And I had that desire. And I had that belief for so
long when I was younger. And it really wasn't until I got
(25:54):
older. Then I start to realize like,
oh, maybe I'd be really good at like 1 particular thing on the
soccer field. But in terms of like the
diversity of thought, the diversity of expression, the
diversity of skill, you know, weaknesses as well.
The diversity of weaknesses is what like we're all strong
(26:15):
together because we can plug in all of our strengths and let our
weaknesses become the strength of another.
Yeah. I think that that's, that's
super important to realize that if we want to have true
fulfillment, if we want to have the best experience in life,
it's often when it's shared withothers.
So I'll leave that to that point.
So .8 becoming someone you're proud of.
(26:36):
So this theme has become more pronounced lately, I think
because of the soon to be arrival of my little daughter.
We have decide on decided on thename Noel, by the way, Noel
Haven Hill. So you know, I've talked a lot
about discussing character, discussing character over
achievement, doing emotional work, becoming kinder, more
patient, more rooted, becoming the person that my child would
(26:58):
admire. So there's a question here
written for me from Chacha PT iswho am I becoming and am I proud
of that person? I don't know if I can say that
I'm proud of the person I am so far I am proud of.
What am I proud of? I'm proud that I have learned
how to be consistent over time. Yeah, I think I'm, I'm proud of
(27:25):
that. I've been able to be consistent
over time. My first thing that I really
finished, and I mean like reallyfinished through to its
completion. I think it was like my college
degree. I don't love the college system,
but it was the first thing that I completed that was like a long
haul thing that needed a lot of attention and focus.
And as I've gotten older and have graduated from college and
(27:47):
have gone on to start other things, I feel like I have truly
started to see things through tothe bitter end.
Oftentimes it was with failure in the business world.
But with triathlon, like I've been doing it for five years
now. I've done 3 Iron Man's, three
full Iron Man's and I probably close to 10 or 11 half and 70
point threes. And if there's one thing I'm
proud of, I think I'm proud of my consistency and my desire to
(28:10):
try harder. But you know, honestly, guys,
even in my marriage, it's so hard for me at times when I'll
just be super open and honest. Like my wife goes through her
own struggles and on the mental health side.
And at certain points, and I think this is true for everyone,
but at certain points in her life, like she's more sensitive
to my just kind of brashness or my words than others.
(28:33):
And whenever she's more sensitive, I become even more
aware of like, OK, these are thethings that I can work on to be
like softer and kinder and more loving.
And ma'am, whenever I fail in those instances, whenever I do
something that makes her cry, itmakes me feel absolutely
horrible. And this is something I'm going
to have to really work through whenever I have a daughter
because I'm sure that she'll be sensitive in a way too.
And there's always this, you know, the stories we hear about
(28:56):
fathers with their sons or fathers with their daughters
were like, they were hard on them.
And then, you know, it takes till the son or daughter gets to
their 20s when they can be like think their father for, you
know, who they are, even though they were kind of a hard man.
I don't necessarily want to be that.
But one thing I'm going to struggle with, I think is
whenever I do something that makes my children cry, it's
going to be so hard for me. I don't know why, you know, like
(29:16):
tears. When I see someone crying, it
really hits me. It's like I feel it even to the
point of a fault. Maybe if someone is crying, even
if they're in the wrong, it's still cuts so deep to me because
it's like, oh, they're experiencing such a real raw
emotion. And whatever they're feeling,
whatever they're believing internally, whether it's right
or wrong that's circled around that emotion and that
(29:38):
expression, they're still feeling it.
So how can I help them feel loved again?
And from like a position of whenhaving kids, I imagine when it
comes to disciplining, it may beharder for me to be disciplined
enough to help them guide them along the right path.
Like, I don't want to. I meant danger, I guess of what
I'm saying is that to giving toomuch, just like catering too
(29:59):
much to someone because they show emotion.
So I have something I'm going tohave to work on.
But am I proud of who I'm becoming?
I can't truly honestly say that I am proud of who I've becoming
yet. I don't know.
Maybe I can. Maybe I should.
Maybe I should say that. Like I am proud of who I'm
becoming. And yeah, you know what?
As I'm saying this, I'm going tochoose to say that because I
(30:19):
think it's important to have that belief in that I am
becoming something more beautiful.
You know, something I pray for every morning is for God to come
into my heart and help me to live a life that is more a
reflection of him, but very importantly is to help people
feel like they are loved, specifically my marriage.
One thing I pray about is for God to help me love my wife like
(30:41):
he loves the church. You know, for those who may be
confused about what that means, just think about Jesus on the
cross. Whether you believe it or
whether you believe in Christianity or not, I believe
Jesus was a real person. He came to to rescue the earth
from the bitterness of sin and the people who he called like
(31:02):
his special chosen people, the Israelites literally crucified
him, hung him on a tree and ripped his skin to shreds and
spat on him. And he still went up on that
Christ and the cross and died for them.
And that's the kind of love thatI want to have for my family, my
wife, and even my fellow man. That is a love that is so hard
to understand. To love someone so much that you
(31:24):
can sit there and watch them abuse you and just take
advantage of you. But to still have a heart that
loves the inner child of whoeverthat perpetrator is is like
something I really pray for. So I am proud that I'm trying to
become that. So that's .8.
But this ninth point is curiosity as a way of life.
(31:44):
So the entire premise of my showis to ask better questions, to
help guests think deeper, to probe and to the uncomfortable,
which I'm trying to get better at.
I really am trying to ask more questions and be OK with being
uncomfortable. There were a few times this year
where I had some questions written down that I did not ask
because I was afraid. I was just afraid.
So I'm committing this year to ask you some of those questions.
(32:06):
I want to be willing to do that,but I need to build.
The thing that's hard is like I have to build and I need to
build rapport with the guests before I just kind of dive in
because I don't want people to be on the defensive.
And honestly, the questions I ask, it's it's more from a
position of being curious. But if I ever got to a place
where I was asking questions that were accusatory, I don't
think that yields any truth. I don't think that that
(32:27):
curiosity type, if you could even call that, reveals any
truth, definitely doesn't expandin empathy in any sort of a way.
So yeah, curiosity is something I definitely want to continue to
lead with. And yeah, this curiosity of this
podcast has changed my life in anumber of ways.
You know, back in August, I gavemyself a month to find 5 new
opportunities or excuse me, one opportunity that I could employ
(32:51):
myself in going into the new year to give my wife the option
to stay, be a stay at home full time mom.
And in doing that, I gave myselflike a month.
I found five opportunities. None of them have materialized
into anything super solid yet. They've materialized in that
I've had conversations and it looks like some stuff's going to
start in the new year and I'll share that whenever that time
comes. But nothing is signed, sealed,
(33:13):
delivered. It's kind of waiting and pending
upon the New Year's. That's where I am.
It is filled with curiosity and I want to continue to make sure
that that fire is stoked and that I don't burn myself out.
So that's that. And then the final one here to
kind of wrap up this 10th point,a recap is what my guests taught
me about suffering. I think this is a good one to
(33:34):
end on. So what my guests have taught me
about suffering. Suffering is a good thing, I
think on this earth, and I'll preface that with saying if you
(33:56):
can find healing after the suffering, anybody can go out
and smash their bike, work out as hard as they can with no
recovery until failure. And then if you do that again
the next day or even multiple times per day, if you continue
to suffer without the recovery and healing, it's nothing.
(34:17):
It literally will just kill you.But if you go through traumatic
experiences, if you suffer and you find healing afterwards, I
think that is what affords the greatest growth and of wisdom,
of experience, even of monetary value, if that's what you're
shooting, after that stress is only as good as its recovery.
(34:41):
So, yeah, those are the top pieces of high impact that kind
of wrap up those big pieces of story, our stories that I have
learned about this past year. Yeah.
So now I guess we'll go ahead and move into this final portion
of the podcast and that's talking about some of the big
things that were on my mind. So this this segment, I'm gonna
(35:02):
move into a little bit more emotions and just things that
I've been thinking about some ofthese points here, the things
I've learned about myself 1. I don't want to take sponsorship
unless it's something that just excites me to share.
I realized that after I did a few of the earlier deals this
past year, it just didn't feel right.
I didn't want to push any type of a product or service if I
wasn't like just truly not only curious about it, but it's
(35:24):
something that just excited me to to share.
Yeah, just not there yet. So that's something I learned.
Recording 2 * a week, as I said briefly before, can be pretty
Dang exhausting. So I am choosing this next year
to to not do any more than two aweek.
If I have to skip an episode or something, I think I'm going to
be willing to do that because yeah, it just, it ends up being
(35:45):
so difficult to come up and perform every week and ask these
deep questions if I don't allow myself some time to rest.
So that's something that I've learned from this past year #3
this podcast has been a long time coming.
I've actually, I was writing it down.
I've had previous podcasts, three of them that I did before
this to that have like literallyno listeners.
(36:05):
So one of them was about my business sway making inside
hammocks. Another one was about this
assisted living company that I was starting as a software that
was to service a lot of the internal needs for these
assisted living centers called Gray Rush.
That one I did and learned a lot.
And then one I did for a whole year, once a month called Give
Well, where I documented one of my friends journeys of giving
(36:27):
money away each month and just seeing what his lessons were
that he learned. So this podcast was a long time
coming. Yeah, but you do now.
We'll serve you in the future. I would have never guessed that
my one-on-one with people in college would have led me to do
in this podcast. I've talked in the past about my
college experience when I was starting a business, just going
(36:47):
downtown Chattanooga and being introduced to so many
interesting people and getting to sit down with them and ask
them questions about their lives.
It really prepared me for this podcast.
It gave me an opportunity to learn how to connect with
someone interpersonally. And what I realized after all
those conversations is similar with the podcast.
Once you start talking these people, things kind of always
(37:07):
turn around to talking about thedeep things of life, and I
really enjoy that. So I would have never guessed
that that prepared me for where I am today, but that is true and
that's where I am. So here's a few things that I've
learned about how people work through my guests.
One, people who perform at the highest level know who they are.
Two, everyone is human. People are people.
No amount of physical ability ormoney can change this.
(37:28):
We all want the same things. Going back to what I was saying
about people on their deathbed, at the end of the day, we're all
human. We're all going to care about
the same things when we die. Where we loved, Who are the
people we love? Do they love us back?
How have we enriched their lives?
Three, not many feel that they've made it.
Some do. I think that there will always
be some doubt and always anothermountain to climb.
So going back to what I was saying about the focus being on
(37:51):
the present journey and after the finish line, that future, if
you can focus on those things, Ithink that's what allows you to
have the most fulfillment in life where you don't even have
to worry about quote UN quote making it.
And then the 4th 1 here, those who know who they are are the
happiest. If you know what values you hold
that give you meaning into the way you operate your life and
(38:14):
your interactions with others, Ithink that's what bring about
true happiness. Because if you know who you are
and why you do what you do, thenyou can go do whatever you do
with that much more passion, fire and love.
So now I just want to kind of answer a couple of questions
that I wrote to myself here about what the future of this
show is and what I want it to be.
(38:35):
I want it to be a place where I can have on anyone I'm curious
about, get to know them from an interpersonal level and give
them a platform to share their story that doesn't judge them
for what they're doing. And I mean that in the best
sense. So oftentimes for the triathlon
world, you'll have in the question you ask, oh, how'd you
do in your last race? So give us a race recap.
(38:56):
Oh, tell us about how you were thinking about on the bike.
Think is what we think about theswim.
I would love to get into the heads of other sports and
operating pieces of life. I'd love to get on some Formula
One drivers. That's obviously way up there.
We'll see if that ever happens. I think it will.
I just want to have people on who do amazing things but not
talk about the amazing thing. I want to take a talk about them
as an individual. So that's what I want out of
(39:17):
this show in the future. I want to create that community
and hopefully enable the community to go out and have
conversations with other people that help them see that people
are more than what they do. So if you want to go out and
have a conversation with Lucy Charles or whoever in the
triathlon world or whatever sphere of influence you're most
interested in, having a conversation with that person
(39:38):
that allows the person to be seen more than just what they
do. I think that's what I want out
of this show. So where am I going for 2026 and
beyond? Yeah, I don't know.
That's the true honest question answer to that question.
I don't know exactly where this is all going to go.
All I do know is that I want to continue to be curious, have
(39:58):
people on the podcast who interest me and build out my
network so that hopefully, yeah,I can have more and more people
realize through these conversations that they are
valuable, they are wanted, and they're unique and beautiful
individuals. So I think that's what I want
out of it. Thank you so much for listening
(40:18):
to me ramble on through this episode.
It's different. It's actually kind of hard.
I don't know if I did it well, but if it did and bringing any
value to you guys, I really appreciate it.
If you could let me know in the comments and if there's
something you want to see me do more in 2026.
If there's any feedback you have, feel free to leave that in
the comments, like review, comment, subscribe, all those
(40:41):
things. But for the few OG people who
listened all the way through this, you're the real MVP.
Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much for enabling me to continue on this journey.
And yeah, I would talk to you guys in 2026 and look forward to
continuing the journey ahead. Thank you.
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