A Beginner’s Guide to Sexual Power Exchange | Submissive Guide - Submissive Guide

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello, everybody, and welcome to this week's
podcast from Submissive Guide.
I'm your host, Luna KM, and thisweek we're going to talk about
sexual power exchange.
As usual, this podcast wasavailable early for our Patreon
members, so if you like thispodcast, consider joining us at
subguide slash society.

(00:21):
That's S-U-B-G-U-I dot D-E slashsociety.
My first experience of beingkinky was in the bedroom when I
asked my partner to tie me upand have his way with me.
At the moment he emphaticallysaid yes, I was hooked.
Like me, you may find thatexploring sexual submissiveness

(00:43):
is a fun, exciting way to bringan element of power exchange
into your life.
There is no wrong way to getstarted as long as both of you
have a curiosity and sense ofadventure.
Are you ready to let yourpartner take the lead?
Power dynamics exist in allrelationships.
They are most often fluidexchanges where whoever is in

(01:04):
control can shift even withinthe same conversation.
Dominance is about receivingpower, while submission is about
giving power.
Sexual power exchange involvessubmissive partners who
willingly and voluntarilyrelinquish control to their
dominant partners, either incertain situations, for a

(01:25):
specified period of time, orcompletely.
This power exchange is and canbe fluid based on your
preferences.
Sexual role play is a great wayto start creating new elements
of trust, intimacy, andexcitement for your
relationship.
Role playing can be just for theevening, only on weekends, or

(01:46):
anytime you're both in thebedroom.
As long as you keep it fun andenjoyable, a bedroom power
exchange can bring variety andplayfulness to your sex life.
Section one, embrace your kinkidentity.
You may be asking, what's wrongwith regular sex?

(02:06):
There is nothing inherentlywrong or right about the kind of
sex you enjoy.
I want to take a minute toreassure you a little bit.
I know that BDSM and kink canget kind of a bad rap in the
media, that you have to be somedeviant or only messed up people
are into it.
Like a lot of things we see inthe media though, It's total BS.

(02:30):
Several studies have concludedthat the number of people who
enjoy power games in the bedroomis growing.
There's nothing wrong with youif you are into kinky sex play.
You're allowed to be different.
Despite the progress aroundgender and identity, there's
still a huge stigma and judgmentaround kink.

(02:51):
There's pressure to conform.
But you have the right toexplore your sexuality just as
you'd explore your career,hobbies, or the ice cream
section at the Mega Mart.
Accepting that it's okay tosurrender control to your
partner is sometimes tricky.
Society teaches us that we needto be equals and in control of

(03:12):
our bodies.
But remember, power dynamicsexist in almost every
relationship.
Amplifying roles in the bedroomcan be the spice you need for
more pleasure and healthyrelationships.
Section 2, Tips for GettingStarted.
If you are interested in givingsexual power exchange a try,

(03:33):
there are some great ways to getstarted.
But before you hit the sheets,you should get a few things
lined up first.
Number 1, do a little research.
There are some great onlineresources available to learn
about the activities you mightbe interested in, like
Submissive Guide and FetLife.

(03:54):
A few book-length guides that Ialways recommend for beginners
are How to Be Kinky and How toBe Kinkier by Morpheus and
Different Loving, The World ofSexual Dominance and Submission
by Gloria Bram, William Bram,and John Jacobs.
Number two.

(04:14):
Bring it up with your partner.
Suggestions and hints are anexcellent way to feel out how
your partner might respond.
Would you like to be tied up andmade love to?
Or, would you like to tie me upand make love to me?
A face-to-face talk is necessaryif you want to do more than
occasional power games.

(04:38):
Number three.
Complete a yes, no, maybe sexlist or BDSM checklist to help
you figure out what fantasies oractivities you both might have
an interest in trying.
You might be pleasantlysurprised to learn your partner
has been thinking about some ofthe same things.
We have a BDSM checklist forsexual power exchange available

(05:00):
for select members in thesubmissive society.
Number four, get consent.
Before doing anything, alwaystalk it over and get and give
permission only to do what youare comfortable with.
You'll have plenty of time toexplore more in the future, so
keep things relatively safe thefirst few times.

(05:24):
If you feel pressured to agreeto something you didn't consent
to at the beginning, stand firmand stick to what was already
agreed.
Neither partner should cross theagreed-upon limits.
Number five, make a stop plan.
Before doing anything, agree onhow activities would or could

(05:47):
stop if you need it.
Choose safe words to indicatewhen the dominant should slow
down or stop whatever they'redoing.
Easy safe words to remember aregreen, yellow, and red.
Much like they mean on astoplight, they say, I'm okay.
pause or slow down, and stopimmediately, respectively.

(06:11):
Even if the safe word isn'tused, the dominant should check
in with the submissive often.
Number six, check in with yourpartner afterward.
Sometimes after play, you canfeel a bit off, called sub-drop
or top-drop.
Drop can include symptoms suchas anxiety, depression,

(06:35):
irritability, and crying.
You can counter this a bit bytaking care of each other
afterward, by checking in,providing emotional intimacy and
communication.
So don't just go to bed afterintense sex.
Make sure your partner is okaywith what just happened.

(06:55):
Section three, let's getplayful.
If you're a little intimidatedby all the kink out there and
you just want to explore alittle, Start with something
small and non-threatening.
A good first step would be totry a blindfold during sex.
It will allow the submissive inthe scenario to explore giving
up control while the dominant isin charge.

(07:18):
The restraint is only mental, soif they get uncomfortable or
afraid, it can come off quickly.
You don't need to buy anyspecial equipment to get
started.
You likely have things aroundyour house that could serve a
kinky purpose.
Scarves, wooden spoons, sleepmasks, clothespins, and other

(07:40):
pervertible items are great toadd to your toy kit.
Don't forget the best sex toysat the end of your wrists.
Your hands can do a lot ofdelicious things and provide so
many wonderful sensations.
Stroke and tickle, squeeze orfondle.
If you're looking to try a bitof painful stimulus, Your hands

(08:03):
can also pinch, scratch, slap,and spank.
When spanking, for example, goeasy at first, a few gentle
taps, then stronger.
A person can usually take morepain and enjoy it more if it's
ramped up slowly and if they arehighly aroused at the same time.

(08:23):
So don't go out at full force.
Ask your partner to let you knowif it gets to be too much.
You can act out your own versionof adult make-believe and
role-play different power-basedroles, like teacher-student,
doctor-patient, boss andsecretary, or pirate and

(08:45):
captive.
Act out a sex scene from yourfavorite kinky movie, like Nine
and a Half Weeks or Fifty Shadesof Grey.
Orgasm games are a must-try whenexploring sexual power exchange.
Having to ask permission toorgasm or being told how to
masturbate is so hot.

(09:05):
You're probably going to feelsilly or awkward the first few
times you try to tie a fancyknot or are ordered to kneel,
but keep it all in a spirit ofadventure and fun.
You're opening up the floodgatesof excitement and intimacy with
your partner, and there's alearning curve, so take your
time and enjoy the journey.

(09:26):
If you try out a coupleentry-level BDSM activities and
find that you like it, you'll beon your way to further explore
kink and power exchange withyour partner.
Have fun, be safe, and remember,keep communicating.
You're in for a great time.
We'd like to thank oursubmissive society on Patreon,

(09:48):
who helps us choose the topicswe cover here.
If you'd like to help us pickthe next topic and continue your
submissive education, head overto subguide slash society.
That's subgui.de slash society.

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A Beginner’s Guide to Sexual Power Exchange | Submissive Guide

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