May 3, 2023 • 14 mins
Like the show? Let us know! Comments, suggestions are open.
Being asked to beg for something is one of the simplest forms of erotic humiliation within a BDSM scenario. It’s also one that can be quite difficult for people to learn.
Read the article on Submissive Guide: https://submissiveguide.com/skills/articles/how-to-beg-when-asked
Submissive Guide FetLife Group: http://subgui.de/fetlife
Other people's thoughts on begging:
Begging In BDSM by Raven Shadowborne
A Kinkster’s Guide to Begging on A Kinkster’s Guide
How Do I Beg/Plead Better? on BDSM Training Academy
Begging For It Podcast on Pleasure Mechanics
Enough to Make You Blush by Princess Kali - https://amzn.to/42zIEi7
🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello, everyone, and welcome to this month's podcast
from Submissive Guide.
I'm your host, Luna K.M.
Today, we're going to talk abouterotic begging.
Let's get uncomfortable andexplore ways pleading for
something we want can enhanceour dynamic or take our play to
the next level.
This episode is made possible byour Patreon community, The
(00:23):
Submissive Society.
If you'd like early access topodcast episodes, participate in
our monthly book club, and getupdates on our future projects,
join us at subguide slashsociety.
That's subgui.de slash society.
I used to be horrible atbegging.
(00:49):
Pretty please with a cherry ontop?
Then, if that didn't work, I'dup the ante.
With whipped cream?
Chocolate sauce?
Uh-huh.
What was I doing, tempting himwith dessert?
This never worked.
Then I went to the potty danceroutine of please, please,
(01:12):
please, please, please.
So many pleases in there that Ijust didn't have the sentiment
that he wanted out of me, sothat didn't work either.
Being asked to beg for somethingis one of the simplest forms of
erotic humiliation within a BDSMscenario.
It's also one that could bequite difficult for people to
(01:32):
learn.
In this episode, I'll defineerotic begging, when it's most
often used, and verbal andnonverbal approaches to begging
that I hope will help you get ahandle on this very challenging
but very rewarding playtimeactivity.
Begging is pleading with thedominant to receive something.
It is most often used to pleadfor pleasure, orgasm, or a play
(01:55):
scene.
When it is used to gain anorgasm, it is used to remind the
submissive that their body andtheir orgasms are not under
their control, and even orgasmsmust be granted by the dominant.
Begging can be a way to exertcontrol over the submissive.
Dominants can use begging toremind the submissive that they
are no longer free to make theirown choices over things they
(02:17):
have surrendered control.
This can bring out a veryemotional response and
connection to the power exchangebetween the partners.
Begging can also be used duringpunishment.
A dominant can require thesubmissive to thank them for
every strike and then ask foranother.
Used this way, the submissive isreminded of the reason for the
(02:39):
punishment and that there areconsequences for breaking rules.
In this situation, making thesubmissive engage in the
punishment and play an activerole, especially if they are
also masochists, can preventthem from relaxing into the
sensations and turning the painof corporal punishment into
pleasure or subspace.
(03:00):
It forces the submissive tofocus and concentrate on
something during the punishment.
Another reason for begging is toenforce a humble attitude.
Humility in service is a traitthat some dominants look for,
and asking for permission tospeak or engage with the
dominant can be a form ofhumility training that includes
(03:20):
pleading or begging, because theright to choose has been removed
from the submissive's area ofcontrol.
Erotic begging can be a turn-onfor people.
Each of us has our own talent orlack thereof in this area.
For some, it is part of erotichumiliation.
For others, it's a part ofeveryday interactions with their
(03:40):
dominant partners that emphasizehumility.
There are different approachesto begging.
If you've ever owned a pet, youknow what I mean.
Your dog or cat will find manyways to let you know they really
want something, and often itgets you to do it.
Maybe you'll even pick up someof these ideas from your pet to
(04:00):
try the next time it's your turnto beg for something.
Section 1.
Getting Embarrassed Often,begging involves being
embarrassed.
Embarrassment because you haveto recognize and admit to
wanting or needing somethingthat is usually not spoken
about, something sexual innature, or something that gives
(04:24):
you some feeling of shame ordiscomfort.
It is, at least in my case, partof the reason why begging was so
difficult at first.
You may even feel humiliated bythe act of begging.
Humiliation is a more intenseform of embarrassment.
It's a huge kink for a lot ofpeople interested in BDSM.
(04:45):
I was surprised the first time Inoticed I was turned on by
having to beg and beinghumiliated by it.
Begging is all about thediscomfort.
It stops being successfulbegging if you're not feeling a
little off your confidence.
You may demonstrate yourdiscomfort through blushes,
sweating, or fidgeting.
Your hesitation in saying vulgarwords or expressing what you
(05:09):
want directly and bluntly willmake your pleading genuine and
often excite your partner in theprocess.
Once you learn that it's okay tobe embarrassed, ashamed, or
humiliated by begging, you willbegin to move into the space to
make begging sexy and hot.
Until then, it's going to feeluncomfortable.
(05:31):
Section 2.
How to use the right words tomake begging hot.
Begging can take on many forms,but the most common forms
involve specific language andtone of voice.
Selecting the right words toplead for what you want can
often freeze a submissive intosilence because of the
embarrassment of the situation.
(05:53):
Verbal begging oftenincorporates the word please,
using bribery to convince thedominant, or phrases meant to
demonstrate how desperate youare to get what you desire.
My dominant, Nightmare, insiststhat I beg for a lot of things,
and I think that most dominantschoose this route just to see
how desperate their submissiveis for whatever it is they want.
(06:16):
Generally, it's about beingallowed to orgasm or when you
have been teased to death andyou just want sex right now.
I'm nowhere near perfect, andthe journey is half the fun, but
I can and generally do get whatI've begged for after a short
stint of him grinning at me andtelling me that wasn't good
enough.
(06:37):
He wants me to go all out, andyes, after I overcome the
embarrassment, I give it to him.
When you are trying to figureout what you could say, you will
want to be direct and blunt.
Don't leave anything to theimagination.
Your trash mouth can fuel desireand the look on your partner's
face when they hear you will beworth it.
(06:58):
The humiliation you may feel ispart of the activity and
allowing yourself to feelembarrassed can help you.
While the following formulaisn't going to work for every
partnership or situation, Iwanted to give you a few tips
for making your verbal beggingextra spicy.
So here are some of my best tipsfor great verbal begging.
(07:19):
Number one, be specific.
If your goal is to increase thehumiliation intensity, using
vulgar language during beggingdoes the trick very well.
This is especially true if thedismissive doesn't use this kind
of language naturally.
It took me years to becomfortable with some of the
(07:41):
more raunchy slang terms for ourbodies and for the sex
activities I enjoyed.
Employing them and begging isnot only super hot, but can also
allow you to be an abandoned,wanton puddle of need.
Number two, be vulnerable.
Even though some of the wordsyou use may seem silly, the
(08:04):
honest desperation behind themreally pleases most dominants
who enjoy begging.
Adding moans, groans, and othervocalizations when you just
can't find the words will buyyou time to get further into
desperation and hopefully helpyou figure out how to debase
yourself in begging.
Pour all your effort into yourwords and actions and really
(08:25):
make your partner believe howdesperate you are.
Basically, be sincere.
Number three, describe how youfeel.
Being able to describe how yourneed and desperation are making
you feel is powerful.
It's also one of the harderthings to vocalize.
(08:45):
If your cock is throbbing oryour clit aches, share that in
the begging phrases.
When you bring attention to howyou're feeling and how your body
responds to the potential ofgaining the reward you are
pleading for, it reallyamplifies your begging.
Number four.
Step it up by offering a reward.
(09:06):
At the beginning of thispodcast, I shared how when I was
new to begging, I used to bribewith ice cream toppings.
That idea can work, but useactivities or actions that your
partner actually wants andsomething you can fulfill
immediately after successfulbegging.
Do not offer anything that youare not willing to do, but it
(09:29):
can be extra tempting for yourpartner if it's something you
hesitate to offer, or that theyhave explicitly expressed they
want from you.
And if you get to do the reward,that's fun too.
Here are some examples of verbalbegging.
May I please speak freely,ma'am?
(09:53):
Master, please may I come?
I'm so hot and my clit is sohard, it feels like it'll
explode.
Daddy, oh God, Daddy, I'd reallylove you to fuck me and let me
show you I can be a dirty littlegirl.
Please?
Sir, I need to come so bad foryou.
If you let me come, I'll screamand moan so loud.
(10:15):
God, sir, I don't want to holdit anymore.
Please?
I'll suck your dick like thedirty slut I am if I can come.
Please spank me, sir.
Please hit me harder, mistress.
Thank you.
Please hit me again, mistress.
Thank you.
(10:37):
Whimper, cry, let yourself getovercome by the need, then put
that need into words.
Section three, pleading withyour body.
If your dominant responds wellto puppy dog eyes, nonverbal
begging may work for you.
The right look can transmit whatyou want or need very well, and
(10:59):
some dominants prefer to haveyou look like you want it while
listening to you beg.
What look do you get on yourface when you need to get
permission for something?
Do your eyes get a pleadinglook?
Other nonverbal cues duringbegging can be lip biting, which
is oh so sexy.
Licking your lips is equallysexy and can transmit a lusty
(11:21):
desire, a strong craving forwhatever it is you want.
If you have the ability, the oneeyebrow twitch can be an
inquisitive nod to begging thatsays nothing.
If you don't know what I'mtalking about, think of Spock
from Star Trek.
He often did it when he said,intriguing.
And that's exactly the sentimentyou're going for, that you're
(11:43):
interested in whatever it is.
Kneeling and kissing the feet ofyour dominant is not only a sign
of submission, but is a goodstart for begging for what you
desire.
This humbling of yourself goes along way to finding that sweet
spot in a dominant so they maypay mercy on you and allow for
whatever you are asking.
Other ideas can be prostration,kissing hands, or bowing and
(12:07):
curtsying.
These actions are done if therequest is a small one or if
what you desire needs a moreformal method of presentation.
But what about when you're inthe midst of a BDSM scene or sex
and your partner orders you tobeg for something you either
desperately want, like anorgasm, or to beg for a certain
action to stop?
(12:27):
Showing them and telling themgoes a long way for both of you
to get more out of the scene.
Check your posture.
Does it give off a sign ofneediness, or are you lying
there calm and serene?
Even in bondage, you can letyourself express need through
gyrations, fidgeting, and otherbody movements.
Display the body part you wantattention drawn to.
(12:48):
Unabashedly thrust your cock,spread your legs, wiggle your
butt, or offer up your breasts.
Something I know Nightmareadores is when he makes me cry.
Not always through suffering,but through making me beg for
something I really, really wantto end that isn't a safe word
moment, but I am not sure he'sin the giving mood.
(13:09):
I've shed tears for somethingpainful I wish would stop, and
I've outright sobbed when he'sedged me so close to orgasm that
I was begging with everything Ihad, and then he said no.
I did end up being allowedbecause my crying was part of
the game.
A mixture of any of theseapproaches requires practice.
I'm still not perfect, but I'mlearning what my dominant
(13:31):
requires of me when I'm asked tobeg for it.
You certainly don't have toresort to childish begging and
temper tantrums, unless you'rein little space, to have
effective begging.
Once you've learned these tipsand practiced a few times
yourself, you'll be moreconfident during your
humiliation.
Do you have other ideas?
Come talk about begging in thesubmissive guide FetLife group.
(13:53):
I'll provide links to FetLifeand sites with other resources
on erotic begging in the shownotes.
If you'd like to learn moreabout erotic humiliation play, I
highly recommend Enough to MakeYou Blush, Exploring Erotic
Humiliation by Princess Callie.
A link to her book will be inthe show notes also.
Before we go, we'd like to thankour submissive society on
(14:16):
Patreon who chose today's topic.
If you'd like to help us pickthe next podcast topic and get
exclusive rewards, head over tosubguide slash society and
explore the membership options.
That's subgui.de slash society.
Hello, everyone, and welcome to this month's podcast
from Submissive Guide.
I'm your host, Luna K.M.
Today, we're going to talk abouterotic begging.
Let's get uncomfortable andexplore ways pleading for
something we want can enhanceour dynamic or take our play to
the next level.
This episode is made possible byour Patreon community, The
(00:23):
Submissive Society.
If you'd like early access topodcast episodes, participate in
our monthly book club, and getupdates on our future projects,
join us at subguide slashsociety.
That's subgui.de slash society.
I used to be horrible atbegging.
(00:49):
Pretty please with a cherry ontop?
Then, if that didn't work, I'dup the ante.
With whipped cream?
Chocolate sauce?
Uh-huh.
What was I doing, tempting himwith dessert?
This never worked.
Then I went to the potty danceroutine of please, please,
(01:12):
please, please, please.
So many pleases in there that Ijust didn't have the sentiment
that he wanted out of me, sothat didn't work either.
Being asked to beg for somethingis one of the simplest forms of
erotic humiliation within a BDSMscenario.
It's also one that could bequite difficult for people to
(01:32):
learn.
In this episode, I'll defineerotic begging, when it's most
often used, and verbal andnonverbal approaches to begging
that I hope will help you get ahandle on this very challenging
but very rewarding playtimeactivity.
Begging is pleading with thedominant to receive something.
It is most often used to pleadfor pleasure, orgasm, or a play
(01:55):
scene.
When it is used to gain anorgasm, it is used to remind the
submissive that their body andtheir orgasms are not under
their control, and even orgasmsmust be granted by the dominant.
Begging can be a way to exertcontrol over the submissive.
Dominants can use begging toremind the submissive that they
are no longer free to make theirown choices over things they
(02:17):
have surrendered control.
This can bring out a veryemotional response and
connection to the power exchangebetween the partners.
Begging can also be used duringpunishment.
A dominant can require thesubmissive to thank them for
every strike and then ask foranother.
Used this way, the submissive isreminded of the reason for the
(02:39):
punishment and that there areconsequences for breaking rules.
In this situation, making thesubmissive engage in the
punishment and play an activerole, especially if they are
also masochists, can preventthem from relaxing into the
sensations and turning the painof corporal punishment into
pleasure or subspace.
(03:00):
It forces the submissive tofocus and concentrate on
something during the punishment.
Another reason for begging is toenforce a humble attitude.
Humility in service is a traitthat some dominants look for,
and asking for permission tospeak or engage with the
dominant can be a form ofhumility training that includes
(03:20):
pleading or begging, because theright to choose has been removed
from the submissive's area ofcontrol.
Erotic begging can be a turn-onfor people.
Each of us has our own talent orlack thereof in this area.
For some, it is part of erotichumiliation.
For others, it's a part ofeveryday interactions with their
(03:40):
dominant partners that emphasizehumility.
There are different approachesto begging.
If you've ever owned a pet, youknow what I mean.
Your dog or cat will find manyways to let you know they really
want something, and often itgets you to do it.
Maybe you'll even pick up someof these ideas from your pet to
(04:00):
try the next time it's your turnto beg for something.
Section 1.
Getting Embarrassed Often,begging involves being
embarrassed.
Embarrassment because you haveto recognize and admit to
wanting or needing somethingthat is usually not spoken
about, something sexual innature, or something that gives
(04:24):
you some feeling of shame ordiscomfort.
It is, at least in my case, partof the reason why begging was so
difficult at first.
You may even feel humiliated bythe act of begging.
Humiliation is a more intenseform of embarrassment.
It's a huge kink for a lot ofpeople interested in BDSM.
(04:45):
I was surprised the first time Inoticed I was turned on by
having to beg and beinghumiliated by it.
Begging is all about thediscomfort.
It stops being successfulbegging if you're not feeling a
little off your confidence.
You may demonstrate yourdiscomfort through blushes,
sweating, or fidgeting.
Your hesitation in saying vulgarwords or expressing what you
(05:09):
want directly and bluntly willmake your pleading genuine and
often excite your partner in theprocess.
Once you learn that it's okay tobe embarrassed, ashamed, or
humiliated by begging, you willbegin to move into the space to
make begging sexy and hot.
Until then, it's going to feeluncomfortable.
(05:31):
Section 2.
How to use the right words tomake begging hot.
Begging can take on many forms,but the most common forms
involve specific language andtone of voice.
Selecting the right words toplead for what you want can
often freeze a submissive intosilence because of the
embarrassment of the situation.
(05:53):
Verbal begging oftenincorporates the word please,
using bribery to convince thedominant, or phrases meant to
demonstrate how desperate youare to get what you desire.
My dominant, Nightmare, insiststhat I beg for a lot of things,
and I think that most dominantschoose this route just to see
how desperate their submissiveis for whatever it is they want.
(06:16):
Generally, it's about beingallowed to orgasm or when you
have been teased to death andyou just want sex right now.
I'm nowhere near perfect, andthe journey is half the fun, but
I can and generally do get whatI've begged for after a short
stint of him grinning at me andtelling me that wasn't good
enough.
(06:37):
He wants me to go all out, andyes, after I overcome the
embarrassment, I give it to him.
When you are trying to figureout what you could say, you will
want to be direct and blunt.
Don't leave anything to theimagination.
Your trash mouth can fuel desireand the look on your partner's
face when they hear you will beworth it.
(06:58):
The humiliation you may feel ispart of the activity and
allowing yourself to feelembarrassed can help you.
While the following formulaisn't going to work for every
partnership or situation, Iwanted to give you a few tips
for making your verbal beggingextra spicy.
So here are some of my best tipsfor great verbal begging.
(07:19):
Number one, be specific.
If your goal is to increase thehumiliation intensity, using
vulgar language during beggingdoes the trick very well.
This is especially true if thedismissive doesn't use this kind
of language naturally.
It took me years to becomfortable with some of the
(07:41):
more raunchy slang terms for ourbodies and for the sex
activities I enjoyed.
Employing them and begging isnot only super hot, but can also
allow you to be an abandoned,wanton puddle of need.
Number two, be vulnerable.
Even though some of the wordsyou use may seem silly, the
(08:04):
honest desperation behind themreally pleases most dominants
who enjoy begging.
Adding moans, groans, and othervocalizations when you just
can't find the words will buyyou time to get further into
desperation and hopefully helpyou figure out how to debase
yourself in begging.
Pour all your effort into yourwords and actions and really
(08:25):
make your partner believe howdesperate you are.
Basically, be sincere.
Number three, describe how youfeel.
Being able to describe how yourneed and desperation are making
you feel is powerful.
It's also one of the harderthings to vocalize.
(08:45):
If your cock is throbbing oryour clit aches, share that in
the begging phrases.
When you bring attention to howyou're feeling and how your body
responds to the potential ofgaining the reward you are
pleading for, it reallyamplifies your begging.
Number four.
Step it up by offering a reward.
(09:06):
At the beginning of thispodcast, I shared how when I was
new to begging, I used to bribewith ice cream toppings.
That idea can work, but useactivities or actions that your
partner actually wants andsomething you can fulfill
immediately after successfulbegging.
Do not offer anything that youare not willing to do, but it
(09:29):
can be extra tempting for yourpartner if it's something you
hesitate to offer, or that theyhave explicitly expressed they
want from you.
And if you get to do the reward,that's fun too.
Here are some examples of verbalbegging.
May I please speak freely,ma'am?
(09:53):
Master, please may I come?
I'm so hot and my clit is sohard, it feels like it'll
explode.
Daddy, oh God, Daddy, I'd reallylove you to fuck me and let me
show you I can be a dirty littlegirl.
Please?
Sir, I need to come so bad foryou.
If you let me come, I'll screamand moan so loud.
(10:15):
God, sir, I don't want to holdit anymore.
Please?
I'll suck your dick like thedirty slut I am if I can come.
Please spank me, sir.
Please hit me harder, mistress.
Thank you.
Please hit me again, mistress.
Thank you.
(10:37):
Whimper, cry, let yourself getovercome by the need, then put
that need into words.
Section three, pleading withyour body.
If your dominant responds wellto puppy dog eyes, nonverbal
begging may work for you.
The right look can transmit whatyou want or need very well, and
(10:59):
some dominants prefer to haveyou look like you want it while
listening to you beg.
What look do you get on yourface when you need to get
permission for something?
Do your eyes get a pleadinglook?
Other nonverbal cues duringbegging can be lip biting, which
is oh so sexy.
Licking your lips is equallysexy and can transmit a lusty
(11:21):
desire, a strong craving forwhatever it is you want.
If you have the ability, the oneeyebrow twitch can be an
inquisitive nod to begging thatsays nothing.
If you don't know what I'mtalking about, think of Spock
from Star Trek.
He often did it when he said,intriguing.
And that's exactly the sentimentyou're going for, that you're
(11:43):
interested in whatever it is.
Kneeling and kissing the feet ofyour dominant is not only a sign
of submission, but is a goodstart for begging for what you
desire.
This humbling of yourself goes along way to finding that sweet
spot in a dominant so they maypay mercy on you and allow for
whatever you are asking.
Other ideas can be prostration,kissing hands, or bowing and
(12:07):
curtsying.
These actions are done if therequest is a small one or if
what you desire needs a moreformal method of presentation.
But what about when you're inthe midst of a BDSM scene or sex
and your partner orders you tobeg for something you either
desperately want, like anorgasm, or to beg for a certain
action to stop?
(12:27):
Showing them and telling themgoes a long way for both of you
to get more out of the scene.
Check your posture.
Does it give off a sign ofneediness, or are you lying
there calm and serene?
Even in bondage, you can letyourself express need through
gyrations, fidgeting, and otherbody movements.
Display the body part you wantattention drawn to.
(12:48):
Unabashedly thrust your cock,spread your legs, wiggle your
butt, or offer up your breasts.
Something I know Nightmareadores is when he makes me cry.
Not always through suffering,but through making me beg for
something I really, really wantto end that isn't a safe word
moment, but I am not sure he'sin the giving mood.
(13:09):
I've shed tears for somethingpainful I wish would stop, and
I've outright sobbed when he'sedged me so close to orgasm that
I was begging with everything Ihad, and then he said no.
I did end up being allowedbecause my crying was part of
the game.
A mixture of any of theseapproaches requires practice.
I'm still not perfect, but I'mlearning what my dominant
(13:31):
requires of me when I'm asked tobeg for it.
You certainly don't have toresort to childish begging and
temper tantrums, unless you'rein little space, to have
effective begging.
Once you've learned these tipsand practiced a few times
yourself, you'll be moreconfident during your
humiliation.
Do you have other ideas?
Come talk about begging in thesubmissive guide FetLife group.
(13:53):
I'll provide links to FetLifeand sites with other resources
on erotic begging in the shownotes.
If you'd like to learn moreabout erotic humiliation play, I
highly recommend Enough to MakeYou Blush, Exploring Erotic
Humiliation by Princess Callie.
A link to her book will be inthe show notes also.
Before we go, we'd like to thankour submissive society on
(14:16):
Patreon who chose today's topic.
If you'd like to help us pickthe next podcast topic and get
exclusive rewards, head over tosubguide slash society and
explore the membership options.
That's subgui.de slash society.
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