Learning Good Observation Skills for Better Submissive Awareness | Submissive Guide

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One of the best skills a submissive can learn is observation. Observation can also be neglected in your daily and work life, so learning requires you to reteach your mind, eyes, focus, and attention. It's so worth it.

Read the article: https://submissiveguide.com/skills/articles/learning-good-observation-skills

Further Reading:

Anticipatory Service

Personality and Behavior Tests:

• Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator
• The Big Five
• Predictive Index
• Strengths Finder

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello, everyone, and welcome Join us at subguide

(00:32):
slash society.
That's subgui.de slash society.
We'll see you there.
When I started my journey intosubmission, my perceptions of
what a submissive was were veryshallow and incomplete.
I believed being submissive wasa passive personality trait and

(00:53):
it didn't require much work.
That passivity encouraged thelaziness I had fostered in my
previous marriage.
Now, I'm far more aware that asubmissive is an active
participant and we have much todo even when the dominant isn't
around.
One of the best skills asubmissive can learn is good

(01:13):
observation.
Observation can be neglected inyour everyday and work life.
Understanding it requires you toreteach your mind, eyes, focus,
and attention.
It's so worth it.
Once you start seeingeverything, You'll know what
needs to be done before you'redominant, so you can offer your

(01:33):
services at the right time andin the proper manner.
I'm still learning to perfect myobservation techniques, and you
can ask Nightmare.
I still fail in some basicareas, but I'm learning and
improving daily.
I'd like to share with you whatI've learned as I work to change
my behavior and become moreaware of what's around me and

(01:56):
what my observation skills cando for me.
One day, I'll remember to gethis coffee within five minutes
of the coffee pot completing itscycle, instead of getting
sidetracked for 30 minutes.
Section 1.
Benefits of Good ObservationSkills Developing good

(02:17):
observation skills as asubmissive is very valuable.
Unfortunately, we are soengrossed in the web of our
hectic schedules and digitaldevices that we all fail to see
and appreciate the beauty andlessons our exterior
surroundings offer.
We have lost touch with anyexternal observations.

(02:37):
How often have you laughed atvideos of people so engrossed in
their phones that they don't seethe tree they walked into, the
puddle they stepped in, orworse, they cause an accident?
We're losing awareness ofeverything around us, and it's
not healthy.
As submissives, we need to learnthat everything we see around us
can be a chance to serve, or atleast a lesson in observation.

(03:01):
By analyzing your surroundings,we are more open to observing
the triggers in the peoplearound us.
You will be amazed to see howthis was always in your hands,
whether you want to evoke smilesor irritate someone.
Once you observe what annoyssomeone or makes them happy,
establishing a healthyrelationship with your partner

(03:22):
becomes as easy as breathing.
You'll be able to avoid thenegative triggers your partner
has and amplify the positivechanges in your surroundings to
your benefit.
Not only do observation skillshelp submissives prevent
conflicts, but they also improveoverall efficiency and
productivity in your everydaylife.

(03:42):
This is because the more keenlyyou observe yourself and your
surroundings, the more youunderstand where gaps exist and
how those gaps need to befilled.
This practice in DSrelationships is called
anticipatory service.
Being aware of changes in theenvironment and adjusting your
actions means you'll be able toreact faster to shifts in your

(04:04):
dominance needs and fulfillrequests more efficiently.
You'll notice that their cup isempty and offer to fill it.
or they don't have theirfavorite slippers nearby and
it's getting chilly, so youoffer to get them.
When you're hyper-focused onobserving, you will see them
look at you with sexual intentand you can respond before they

(04:24):
say a word.
Once you begin observing peopleand their responses, it also
enables you to become a bettercommunicator, enabling you to
structure your message better sothat it establishes a connection
with the listener.
Active listening is anothergreat skill to have.
When you can dedicate your focusto the person speaking, you

(04:45):
comprehend their message betterand respond in an appropriate
and thoughtful manner.
A person's body language canexpress mood, intent, and the
current emotional state of theperson speaking and could change
how you interpret their words.
Take a moment and think abouthow good observation skills can
improve your submission to yourpartner.

(05:06):
What benefits does it give you?
Section 2.
Behaviors and Habits to ImproveObservation Skills When you want
to improve your observationskills, there are a few ways to
go about it.
Anytime you work to instill newhabits, it will take time,

(05:27):
patience, practice, andconsistency.
Try these exercises to boostyour observation skills.
People Watching People watchingshould come easily to many of us
in a world where people comparethemselves to their neighbors.
I enjoy sitting somewhere inpublic where there will be many

(05:47):
people and just watching them.
I'll observe how they walk,carry their bags, facial
features and tics, and how theyinteract with others in their
group.
I also like to try and figureout what mood they are in and
how that mood presents itselfphysically in their body.
Other people have an attitudethat you can identify.

(06:08):
Watching people is quiteinformational.
This exercise can also be donewhen you are alone with your
dominant.
Try sitting quietly anddiscreetly watching them.
Do they have any nervous ticslike tapping their fingers on
their knees or twitchy feet?
Notice their preferred way tosit, dress, and wear their hair.

(06:28):
When eating, do they hold theirutensils a certain way?
The order in which they eatcould be interesting too.
Do they eat in a specific order?
Mix everything together or keepit all separate?
Does your dominant prefer tohave their drink filled before
it's empty?
These are small observationsthat could help you in your

(06:49):
service to them.
Keep them locked away in yourmind so that you can pay
attention to their needs beforethey know they need them.
If remembering your partner'spreferences is difficult, try
creating a journal for yoursubmissive development.
You can create a page foreverything you observe, from
what your dominant does whenstressed or nervous to how they
like their beverages served.

(07:11):
Remember to frequently reviewany pages you make so the
information sticks with you.
Listening skills.
I cannot tell you how hard thisone is for me.
I'm one of those people whoformulate my answers while
someone is talking and thusmissing half the conversation

(07:31):
and then interrupting them.
It's horrible and I am workingon it daily to change how I
communicate.
What you need to learn that I'mstill learning is that you need
to not think about what you willsay while someone is talking.
You need to take as much effortin listening as you do in

(07:52):
talking.
The person's words are valuable,and you could miss an important
piece of information while yourmind tries to form a response to
something they've just said.
Their body language, also knownas nonverbal communication, is
important because it can conveymeaning, mood, and intention
that words alone can't.

(08:13):
Wait until they are finishedspeaking, summarize what they
said to help your listening, andthen respond.
Willingness to set asidepersonal biases.
If being judgmental andstereotyping are common around
you, it's time to let them go.
We all hold our subjectiveworldviews and are influenced

(08:36):
and shaped by our experiences,beliefs, values, education,
family, friends, peers, andothers.
Developing your observationskills requires allowing each
situation to be observed withoutbias and or whether you like or
dislike someone or something.
Carrying these opinions cancloud your more accurate

(08:58):
observations.
Consider the following practicaltips.
Number one, test yourself.
Several psychometric testsinclude the Myers-Briggs Type
Indicator, the Big Five, thePredictive Index, and the
Strengths Finder.
These tests help you understandhow you perceive people and

(09:18):
situations.
Number two, pause and reflect.
Study yourself and yourreactions.
How do you react to change?
What do you feel when somethingdoesn't go how you expected it
to?
Take notes.
Number three, expand yourhorizons.

(09:39):
Proactively seek new experiencesto discover more about yourself
and your reactions to unfamiliarsituations.
And number four, learn to knowyourself.
This may be the mostchallenging, but find time for
solitude and to relax.
What you learn about yourself isimpressive when you sit with

(10:00):
your thoughts.
Meditate.
Start with a simple breathingexercise.
Close your eyes.
Inhale through your nose forfour counts and exhale through
your nose for four counts.
Repeat for 10 rounds.
Self-knowledge.
Accurately knowing yourbehaviors, attitudes, and

(10:22):
personal skills and how theyimpact others is a massive part
of your observation skillsgrowth.
How you respond, react, andinterpret other people's actions
can affect how you anticipateservice with your dominant.
Personal growth and developmentare the most important gifts you
can give yourself.
Start by observing yourself inall activities in your everyday

(10:44):
life.
Lastly, I'd like to discuss whatto do with these observations
you may have picked up aboutyour dominant.
For example, when you knowthey'd like their drink filled,
you can carry out this task orask them about it before they
ask you.
Are they on the phone with animportant person?
Provide them with a pen andpaper for notes.

(11:07):
Show them that you are payingattention.
If they love to watchbasketball, study and learn
about their favorite team orplayers.
While you may not likebasketball, just being able to
talk about it with you showsyour observation skills and
dedication to your partner.
Start observing.
It requires no extra equipment,only your time.

(11:30):
We can learn this together andthrough personal growth become
better, more active submissivesfor our partners.
Thank you for listening to ourpodcast.
We hope you learned how toimprove your observation skills.
We would love to hear whatyou've learned from this
podcast.
Mention at Subguide on X,formerly Twitter and Instagram,

(11:53):
or at Submissive Guide onFetLife.
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If you'd like to help us pickthe next podcast topic and get
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That's subgui.de slash society.