On-Demand Ecstasy: Initiating Your Orgasm Control Training | Submissive Guide

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A beginner's guide that explores the practice of orgasm control and its potential for enhancing pleasure. The first in the series, this article covers the first steps to exploring orgasm control in your play.

Resources on Orgasm Control Mechanics:

• Orgasm Control by Rover
• Orgasm Control Conditioning of Females on FetLife
• Train Your Body to Orgasm on Command
• Orgasm Control Training: They Can’t Resist
• Orgasm Control by gina

Study: Women's Attributions Regarding Why They Have Difficulty Reaching Orgasm

Book: The Elusive Orgasm: A Woman's Guide to Why She Can't and How She Can Orgasm" by Vivienne Cass, Ph.D

Part 2 of the Orgasm Control Training Series: https://submissiveguide.com/fundamentals/articles/orgasm-on-command-training-the-process-for-the-submissive 

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello, everyone, and welcome to this month's podcast
from Submissive Guide.
I'm your host, Luna KM.
Today, we're going to talk aboutbeginning orgasm control
training.
This episode is made possible byour Patreon community, The
Submissive Society.
If you'd like early access topodcast episodes, free books and

(00:22):
e-books, and get updates on ourfuture projects, join us at
subguide slash society.
That's subgui.de slash society.
We'll see you there.
Imagine not being allowed tomasturbate, to have orgasms, or

(00:44):
to only have orgasms when givenpermission.
Surrendering orgasm control tothe dominant is one of the most
common activities in a sexual DSrelationship.
One day, your dominant tells youthat you are going to learn to
orgasm on command with just thepower of their voice or another
trigger.
It's exciting, but also scary.

(01:07):
Orgasm control training, alsoknown as release training,
orgasm command, or orgasmicobedience, offers a pathway to
unlock heightened sensations anda deeper connection with your
own sexuality.
In this beginner's guide, wewill embark on a journey
together delving into the art oforgasm control and discovering

(01:28):
the potential it holds fortransforming your sexual
encounters with your dominant.
Whether you're intrigued by theidea of experiencing orgasms on
command, or you simply want toexplore a new dimension of
pleasure, this podcast and theother two posts on the series on
Submissive Guide will providevaluable insights and practical

(01:49):
steps to get you started.
Since I am a submissive female,I'm not going to be able to
share how a male submissiveexperiences the training, but I
imagine it is much the samemental process.
Also, this podcast is not aboutthe training mechanics.
It's more about what theexperience is like for the

(02:10):
submissive partner.
There are many really goodarticles and forums about orgasm
on command from the dominantperspective that can enlighten
you.
I'll share a list of those inthe show notes.
Embarking on this journeyrequires self-awareness,
patience and a willingness toexplore your desires.

(02:31):
I'm making some assumptions withthis podcast that you already
know how to have orgasms and cando it without difficulty.
I'm also assuming that yourpartner can bring you to orgasm.
If you have difficulty achievingorgasms and are female-bodied,
you are not alone.
According to Rowland, Kemple,and Temple, as reviewed in their

(02:53):
study, Women's AttributionsRegarding Why They Have
Difficulty Reaching Orgasm,reports of difficulty or
inability to orgasm in womenrange from 10 to 40 percent.
If you have issues coming toorgasm, you should work on that
first before you add thepressure of orgasm control
training.
A book that might help youunderstand and have better

(03:15):
orgasms is The Elusive Orgasm, AWoman's Guide to Why She Can't
and How She Can Orgasm by VivianKass, Ph.D.
Section 1.
What is Orgasm Control Training?
Orgasm control training is apractice that involves
consciously regulating andcommanding your orgasms,

(03:39):
allowing you to prolong orintensify pleasure, experience
multiple orgasms, or evenexperience orgasms without any
physical stimulation at all.
While it may sound enticing,it's important to approach this
practice with knowledge,consent, and an open mind.
Throughout this series, we'llcover the fundamental principles

(04:00):
of orgasm control training,including its psychological and
physiological aspects.
We'll discuss the importance ofcommunication, consent, and
trust, and provide you withpractical exercises and
techniques to develop yourorgasmic control.
Once you are ready to embark onorgasm control training, it is
important to understand itbegins in the mind.

(04:23):
Traditional orgasms aretypically spontaneous and occur
as a result of sexualstimulation and arousal.
In contrast, commanded orgasmsare deliberately induced through
specific techniques, mentalfocus, or external commands.
Orgasm on command training is ashift from having orgasms

(04:43):
naturally and the anxiety itentails trying to have orgasms
to being unable to control yourorgasm.
The fear of not being able toorgasm is replaced by the fear
that you will orgasm withoutpermission.
That suggestion is verypowerful.
It's mental conditioning thatrequires full trust and

(05:05):
confidence in your dominant thatthey can command you, and honest
trust in yourself that you willcomply without interference or
stimulus.
This is where the majority ofthe training lies.
When Nightmare and I began atraining program that involved
coming by command, I had to beopen to it.
It wasn't hard at all for me toaccept that my dominant could

(05:27):
make me orgasm, because he hadproven time and again that he
was capable, and he already hadcontrol of my orgasms.
I rarely masturbated, eventhough I had permission, and
I've always had to ask fororgasms during sex and play.
Learning to enjoy the processand experiment with triggers and
trying to activate thosetriggers has made me more in

(05:48):
tune with my body's responses tosexual stimuli and the lead up
to an orgasm.
As a submissive, if you believethat it just can't happen and
you tell yourself that it won'thappen, then it won't.
You have to be open to the ideaand willing to accept the
possibility that an orgasmwithout physical stimulus is

(06:10):
possible and that you want it tohappen.
Section 2.
Taking Your First Steps byTrusting the Process The first
thing Nightmare had me do was togive over control of my orgasms.
This happened within days ofagreeing to be his submissive.

(06:30):
I have not been allowed toorgasm without his permission
since then.
I have been asking for orgasmsfor years.
Sometimes he says yes andsometimes he says no or to wait.
This rule was hard at firstbecause we met online and my
sexual desires didn't alwayshappen when he was available to

(06:50):
grant permission even if I hadasked.
Being halfway around the worldcan do that to you.
And I really did enjoy beingfree to masturbate.
Over the years, I have receivedmany questions about how to
comply with this rule,especially when the relationship
is online or long distance.
I've had a few novicesubmissives even suggest that

(07:12):
they'd masturbate and just nottell their dominant.
Please don't do this.
First, you agreed to obey therule, and obedience is a
cornerstone of submission.
If you don't want to submit,then don't submit.
But don't hold up a guise thatyou are submitting when you
aren't.
Also, when you masturbatewithout permission, you are

(07:34):
lying to your dominant.
And in many DS exchanges, thisis a harsh punishment or an end
of the relationship.
Hopefully, you don't want that.
And finally, masturbatingwithout permission will break
down the orgasm controltraining.
Remember what I said that orgasmcontrol training is no longer
the fear of not having orgasms,but of having them without

(07:58):
permission.
If you override your partner'swishes and masturbate because
you can get away with it, youwill not get anywhere in the
orgasm control training either.
While this, in my opinion, is alesser evil than being
disobedient and outright lyingto your dominant, you don't want
to hinder the orgasm controltraining either.

(08:18):
We talk about the mental processfor submissives in part two of
the series, and I will link tothat in the show notes.
Trust and effectivecommunication form the pillars
of a successful orgasm controltraining experience.
You need to trust your dominantand that the training will work,
but also keep communicationlines open to discuss your

(08:39):
expectations and address anyissues that arise.
Section three.
edging games you can play to getstarted.
One of Nightmare's favoritegames is edging.
During our sex play, he likes tosee how long I can edge before
going over.
He keeps me on the brink oforgasm for what can feel like

(09:02):
ages.
When he finally gives in to mybegging, the orgasm is quite
intense.
A personal caveat, however, isif I edge too long, it has a
chance to make my orgasm go awaycompletely.
And no matter how much sexualstimuli I have, it just never
happens.
Once you learn where that limitis, you definitely want to

(09:24):
prevent it in the future.
Sexual frustration is fun, butthere is a limit to it.
You can play a few games to helpyou learn your body's responses
to sexual stimulus and when youare at the apex of your orgasm.
just before it's uncontrollable,and that's what you need to know
heading into the next step ofyour training.
Game number one, counting down.

(09:47):
You or your partner bring youclose to orgasm, and then your
dominant counts you down from 10or 5, and at the end of the
countdown, they tell you tocome.
Only then can you orgasm.
It's a practice of learning toknow when the edge is really the
edge and also helps youassociate your partner's command

(10:10):
with your orgasm.
That is a key step inunderstanding orgasm on command.
Game number two, scheduledmasturbation.
It may come as a no-brainer, butin order to practice orgasm on
command, you have to have a lotof orgasms and masturbation.
Masturbation can be solo orshared, but having a scheduled

(10:34):
time daily or more often willmake your body and mind connect
all the dots to sexualexcitement.
And it's fun.
Game number three, announce yourorgasms.
Another practice is to tell yourpartner when you are preparing
to orgasm.
This is especially helpfulbecause both of you can see how

(10:57):
your body prepares for anorgasm, from how flushed you get
to the rigidity of your limbs,changes in your clitoris and
vaginal walls, and so much more.
After all, your job in thisexercise is to try not to orgasm
without permission, but theirsis to learn every nuance of your
sexual arousal and orgasm sothey can manipulate it and you.

(11:19):
That's not an easy task untilthey can see it in action and
learn from it.
These are the first tentativesteps and the most common for
people entering orgasm control.
We were at this stage for years.
And then we went to apresentation on orgasm on
command at a local conventionand listened to the presenters'

(11:41):
methods.
It provided us with our nextsteps and helped us learn even
more.
In the next article in thisseries, I share with you what I
learned in the class and theprocess of mental conditioning
in orgasm on command training,the process for the submissive.
That link is in the show notes.

(12:02):
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(12:25):
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