The Key Traits of a Service Submissive - They Can Be Learned! | Submissive Guide - Submissive Guide

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello everybody, and welcome to this week's podcast
from Submissive Guide.
I'm your host, Luna KM, and thisweek we're going to talk about
key traits to develop as anon-sexual service submissive.
As usual, this podcast wasavailable early for our
Submissive Society members, soif you would like this podcast,

(00:20):
consider joining us at subguideslash society.
That's S-U-B-G-U-I dot D-E slashsociety.
Service-oriented people comefrom all walks of life and have
various skills and knowledge tomake them the partners that many
crave.
When you are a servicesubmissive, demonstrating that

(00:42):
you have a few key skillsmastered can help strengthen the
service dynamic.
Anyone can learn to be a goodservice submissive, even if you
don't feel you are a peoplepleaser, because the key traits
are all ones that can be learnedand refined.
Taking the steps required tobetter yourself is never easy,

(01:02):
but with the skills we'll betalking about today, you'll not
only be able to apply them toyour relationships, but your
work and everyday life, nomatter what you're doing.
This is personal growth to makeyour service submission shine.
When you take steps to improveyourself now, you'll be able to
tackle a variety of servicechallenges and refine the

(01:24):
services you wish to provide foryour dominant.
If you're new to servicesubmission and would like to
learn a bit more, ourintroductory article, Non-Sexual
Service and How You Can Add Itto Your Dynamic, can help you
figure out if service issomething you want to explore.
You can find the link to thatarticle in the podcast episode

(01:44):
notes.
This article will continue theexploration by covering what key
traits a service submissive candevelop so that service is a
more rewarding experience foreveryone involved.
Section one, take a personalinventory of your best
qualities.
Wherever you are in submissionor exploring service, it's a

(02:08):
good practice to know what youhave to offer and where your
best qualities tend to focus.
Since we are all unique and ourrelationships are no different,
what we offer our dominance willdepend on what we can do to
improve ourselves.
self-improvement is the besttool in our submission and it is
one that will help you achieveyour dreams the key behaviors

(02:32):
we'll be talking about todaywill be self-motivation
flexibility the ability toaccept criticism honesty and
building a learning mindset youdon't have to master every
quality but having a workingknowledge of all of them and
understanding where you are witheach will help you find places

(02:52):
for growth change andrefinement.
Deciding what kind of person youwish to aspire to be takes
clarity of mind and awillingness to look carefully
and honestly at yourself.
Taking a personal inventory willhelp you identify where and how
you want to grow.
It's a great tool forself-assessment.

(03:14):
On a sheet of paper, describeyourself in each key service
behavior I just mentioned rightnow.
Focus on where you feel goodabout them and where you feel
you struggle.
Then, think about where you wantto be in that trait in the
future.
This assessment will be yourguide to knowing which traits to

(03:35):
focus your time and attention.
Here are the key traits of aservice submissive in more
detail.
Remember, no matter how youdescribed your current self in
your personal inventory, youdon't have to be perfect with
any of them.
there will always be room forpersonal improvement.

(03:56):
Section two, self-motivation.
Self-motivation in its simplestform is the force that drives
you to do things.
You can be motivated by internaland external things, such as a
desire to do something, love forsomeone, or the need for money.
Usually, it is a result ofmultiple factors.

(04:20):
Self-motivation for a servicesubmissive helps with performing
tasks without being watched,micromanaged, or in some cases
told to do something.
The ability to motivate yourselfis an important skill.
Self-motivation drives people tokeep going even in the face of
setbacks, take up opportunities,and show commitment to what they

(04:43):
want to achieve.
A service submissive who isself-motivated is goal-oriented.
Often they are a problem solverwho is organized, efficient, and
diligent in finishing the taskat hand.
Submissives who excel atself-motivation avoid
distraction and show initiativeto perform tasks described as a

(05:04):
readiness to serve.
Knowing which motivation styleyour drive is attached to can
help you in your service.
People are motivated bydifferent things.
Some are motivated by avoidingfailure.
and others by attaining success.
People who are motivated byavoiding failure tend to be
problem solvers and are good atspotting issues and resolving

(05:28):
them.
Those that are motivated byresults are good at goal
setting, which makes them goodat setting priorities.
If you find you need to work onyour self-motivation to improve
your service, then creating aroutine can help you accomplish
your goals.
When you have a task list thatyou need to perform daily, it

(05:48):
can reinforce the initiative tocomplete your desired goals.
When there are moments youhesitate to begin a task, remind
yourself why the task isimportant.
And then do it, even for fiveminutes.
Once you get started, it's a loteasier to continue than it is to
abandon it.
You'll be teaching yourself howto find the drive within you to

(06:11):
accomplish anything and how tosolve problems as they arise.
Section three, flexibility.
Flexibility is about beingadaptable to change.
A service submissive may beasked to change how they do
something to accommodate thedominance wishes and being able

(06:32):
to adapt to that change quicklyis a skill that will make life
so much easier.
Most of us are a lot moreresistant to change than we
might perceive ourselves to be.
If you are truly adaptable tochange, you aren't rigid or
stuck and are open to change andchallenges.
Submissives who are flexible aremore likely to handle change

(06:54):
with grace and ease, not bethrown by the unexpected and be
a lot happier.
They accept direction easily.
making changes to comply withtheir dominance preferences,
even if the task is one they'vedone one way for a long time.
Service submissives can adjuston the fly if something comes up
that needs their attention rightaway.

(07:16):
You can learn to be moreflexible by practicing
perseverance in your tasks.
That means concentrating anddisciplining yourself to
complete the task at hand.
When you focus on a task, Youcan make changes because your
mind isn't on autopilot anddoing it as you've done 100
times before.

(07:36):
A strong focus is driven by asense of self-motivation, which
can create robustness.
As a result, you can be moreadaptable because you cope
better with setbacks andcritique.
Learn to improvise.
If you can be spontaneous, youcan adapt to last minute changes

(07:57):
easily.
Don't overthink or second-guesseverything you do.
Lastly, adopt a positive can-doattitude.
It's natural to want to resistchange.
You'll need to learn to build upa positive response by literally
changing your behavior next timeyou are faced with change.

(08:17):
Respond enthusiastically tochange, even if you don't feel
like doing so.
Section four, honesty.
Every relationship we have isbased on truth.
It is the highest valued qualityin society.
When you lie to another, it is asign that you do not value the

(08:39):
relationship with them.
DS relationships cannot functionif there isn't an open,
transparent exchange between thepeople involved.
A service submissive who valueshonesty is calm and relaxed
because they have nothing tohide.
are quick to open up aboutfeelings and are comfortable
with who they are honestsubmissives will own up to

(09:01):
mistakes and address issues assoon as they come up they are
not afraid to talk to theirdominant because they've learned
how to nurture and open exchangewith them it is possible to
learn how to be more honest butit requires courage and a desire
to change first Be honest withyourself and acknowledge and

(09:21):
accept both the good and badcharacteristics of who you
believe you are.
Pay close attention to yourfeelings.
Feeling discomfort or unease canhappen when you aren't honest,
even with yourself.
Be honest with others about howyou are feeling.
This is one area that is quitedifficult.
To be open and honest in thesesituations makes us vulnerable,

(09:45):
but can be so freeing when we gobeyond that discomfort.
Don't say yes when you mean no.
It helps to be honest about whatyou do and don't want to do.
When you don't honor what youwant, you're not honest with
yourself.
Taking 100% responsibility foryour words and actions is also

(10:06):
key to honesty.
When you are honest withyourself about your feelings and
mindful of your words' truth,your actions will reflect this.
Section 5.
Willingness to Accept CriticismConstructive advice is intended
to help a situation or improveyour service to your dominant.

(10:30):
When you can take critique instride and learn from it to
perform service better, yourlife will feel a lot less
stressful.
A service submissive that isopen to accepting criticism is
cooperative and open-minded.
They can easily integratecriticism to make improvements
and changes to their servicewithout a negative attitude.

(10:50):
They don't get upset or onlyfocus on the critical aspects of
the information but use it tobetter themselves and the
services they wish to provide.
You can also learn to acceptcriticism a bit easier.
First, listen respectfully.
You can't fully comprehend whatsomeone is saying if you allow

(11:11):
your emotions to get heated andjump into the conversation to
deal with the negative pointsinstead of waiting to hear what
the person is truly saying.
Be sure you understand what isbeing shared by asking questions
and making comments to confirmyou understand.
Don't become defensive.

(11:34):
We all want to excel in theservices we provide our
dominance.
We can be embarrassed orsometimes feel guilty or ashamed
when they notice a problem ormistake we have made.
That's why it can be difficultto come across as one to accept
criticism.
It helps to realize that youhave a valuable opportunity to

(11:54):
learn from the negative outcometo be a better submissive.
Learning about yourself as asubmissive is going to involve
making mistakes and acceptingcriticism.
what we should try to do isaccept you will make mistakes
and then grow from them it willrequire you to make changes
which can be scary you need tosee the goal and reach for it

(12:17):
bravely follow up with positiveaction when you learn and
assimilate constructive adviceyou show your dominant you are
open to change and are willingto work hard to make
improvements lastly Admit whenyou need help or are struggling
with a task.
Your dominant is more thanwilling to provide assistance or

(12:39):
answer questions to help you doa better job and service.
Then be ready to act on thatinformation if applicable.
Section six, a learning mindset.
A drive to learn is aboutpicking up new skills and
knowledge to expand yourskillset whenever the
opportunity arises.

(13:01):
It's important to continuelearning and refining the skills
you currently offer and thoseyou wish to learn.
Smart submissives find ways togrow and develop in any
situation.
They embrace an always learningmentality.
A service submissive with anactive learning mindset is
engaged in every step of theservice process.

(13:23):
They are quick to suggestrefinements and are open to
adding or changing services whenrequested.
They will also search forresources, tools, and courses of
study to improve their servicesand themselves as submissives.
If you'd like to learn how tohave a learning mindset, start
with having a goal in mind.

(13:44):
With so many possible avenuesfor growth and improvement, it
can feel overwhelming to selectone.
But consider what you hope toachieve and then outline the
steps it will take to get there.
Then, make learning a habit.
Do a little each day.
Read a book, research a skillonline, or take a course.

(14:07):
The digital era provides awealth of opportunities to study
and practice many differenttopics entirely online.
Or find a group of peoplewishing to learn the same thing.
You can benefit from sharingknowledge and experiences that
motivate you to keep going.
After reflecting on what you'velearned and practicing it, You

(14:28):
can further reinforce yourcomprehension by attempting to
explain it to someone else.
When you share what you'velearned with others, you
increase your understanding ofthe topic.
You can then recall it easier toapply it to your service
effectively.
Learning should be a funactivity, and you might want to

(14:49):
reward yourself for picking upnew skills.
It can be as simple as making alearning chart and adding a gold
star sticker for every lessonyou complete.
And if something becomesdifficult to learn or feels like
a waste of time, take a breakfrom it and choose something
else.
Your interests will ebb and flowand your education and new

(15:09):
skills should follow that.
You can always come back to whatyou were learning later.
Finally, use what you've learnedimmediately.
You learn best by doing.
It's important to perform tasksthat use what you learned.
It will create new associationsin your brain and reinforce your
memory so that you can retainwhat you've learned.

(15:33):
Look for ways to practice yournew skills as soon and as often
as possible.
It is rewarding to yourrelationship when you've adopted
the skills necessary to makeyour service a valuable asset.
It also provides personalfulfillment beyond what can be
found in submission.
Explore these key traits to seewhere you can begin your journey

(15:55):
to better service.
Don't let weaknesses in any ofthem intimidate you.
Just start where you are now andthrough your efforts you will
see change and growth.
You're on your way to betteryourself for life and increase
your happiness.
I've really enjoyed talking withyou about key service submissive

(16:16):
skills.
This episode is made possible byour member community, the
Submissive Society.
If you'd like to get earlyaccess to our best BDSM content,
come join us at subguide slashsociety.
That's S-U-B-G-U-I dot D-E slashsociety.
If you'd like to track your ownprogress in developing your key

(16:38):
service submissive skills, jointhe Submissive Society for$10
and pick up the workbookdeveloped for this topic.
It will help you pinpoint whereyou should begin and give you a
tracker to help you stayaccountable for your personal
development.
We'll see you at subguide slashsociety.
That's subgui.de slash society.

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The Key Traits of a Service Submissive - They Can Be Learned! | Submissive Guide

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