June 26, 2025 • 13 mins
Ever wondered what happens when artificial intelligence writes your life story? In this fascinating episode, I dive into the surreal experience of discovering an AI-generated book about my substitute teaching career—written entirely without my input beyond a few basic questions.
ge of the AI-generated book cover!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Greg (00:00):
Greg Collins Substitute Teachers Lounge.
It is June 26, 2025.
I always struggle a little bittrying to come up with topics in
the summer, because I take mostof my topics on what's happened
to me in the classroom, buttoday we're digging in more to
AI.
I hope it will be interestingto you because I have in front
(00:20):
of me a book called SubstituteTeacher's Guide to Chaos Real
Life Stories from the TrenchesLessons you Won't Find in Any
Textbook.
It says number one bestsellerof 2025, and the author is
listed as Greg Collins.
Well, I didn't write this.
This is not going to be acommercial.
(00:42):
I'm not even going to tell youthe company that I got this from
, but you can get it foryourself.
You can find it for yourself.
I should say I entered in abunch of stuff.
It was probably only 10questions.
One of them was what are youdoing right now as a substitute
teacher?
And AI created this book.
Now, I don't know if it justcreated it from those 10
(01:04):
questions or in some way it hada way to research me and find
out more.
But I'm going to read someexcerpts from the first chapter
that are absolutely uncanny.
Almost a little bit eerie,because it is so close to what
my actual early days ofsubstitute teaching were, so if
(01:27):
you've got a few extra dollarsspinning around, I would
encourage you to do this too.
It's actually a group that willdo this for anybody, not just
substitute teachers.
I'm actually going to put somecover art in the description of
the podcast today so that youcan see the way the cover turned
out too, but I'm lookingforward to it.
(01:47):
A book about me that I didn'twrite and neither did anyone
else.
Substitute teachers all right,I've had a great summer so far.
(02:07):
We just just spent a week inflorida, two days of which was
with one of my sons, and we wentto epic universe and had an
absolute blast.
You got to go see it.
Even if you're not a universalperson, you've got to go see
epic universe.
It's worth it.
My favorite attractions wasmonsters unchained.
(02:28):
My favorite land was supernintendo world.
That's really the reason Iwanted to go in the first place,
if you get the opportunity todo that.
The other great things I thissummer so far is I'm helping
coach a summer eight to tenyear-year-old volleyball team,
just a casual YMCA-type league.
(02:48):
We started playing games.
Last night I saw a couple ofstudents that I had subbed last
school year, I guess, there towatch their sister, so it was
cool to see them again.
Let's get back to this book now.
If you find this company,you'll find it.
If you want a book like this,you'll find it.
(03:10):
It's.
It's an ai created book.
I assume this is a new company.
I was really not.
My expectation, expectationsweren't that high, but, man,
after I looked through this,they created 20 chapters.
Now I will say this if you enterin the fact that you're a
substitute teacher, I don't know, maybe it creates the exact
(03:33):
same book for you with just yourname in spots instead of mine.
I don't know that, but I amgoing to try my best not to make
this a boring reading, butrather make it as if I'm talking
to you, like I normally do onmy podcast.
So here it goes.
I don't know how long this willtake.
I want it to be short becauseit's summertime.
(03:54):
Who wants to listen to a reallylong podcast?
But I'm already into it fourminutes, so I better get started
.
This is chapter one.
It is entitled the First DayJitters.
I'm going to skip around, buttry not to make it sound like
I'm skipping around.
So here we go.
As I stood in front of themirror that morning, my stomach
churning like a washing machineon spin cycle, I couldn't shake
(04:16):
the feeling that I was about toembark on one of the great
adventures of my life.
It wasn't a cruise ship filledwith sunsets or Mai Tais A
retired vacation groupie like meusually longed for that kind of
trip but rather my first day asa substitute teacher, who knew
that a grown man could feel thisjittery.
I felt like a contestant on agame show, waiting for the host
(04:41):
to announce the prize.
What do you get when you crossa nervous retiree with a
classroom full of kids?
Greg Collins, oh boy.
I could feel my heart racing inmy chest and my palms were
sweaty enough that I couldprobably have lubricated all the
wheels in my house as I droveto the school.
I couldn't help but imagine allthe potential disasters that
could unfold.
Would I walk into the classroomof sweet-faced little angels,
(05:05):
or would I stumble into a den ofteenage chaos where sanity went
to die?
Was I prepared to confront thelittle know-it-alls with their
snickering laughter and theiriPhones out at times?
The thought of a hungry pack ofsixth graders cloning my every
word made me shudder In mypastel Hawaiian shirt.
Let me break away just for amoment I can't remember what
(05:29):
telling this organization that Iwore Hawaiian shirts to school,
but I do just about every day.
All right back to the book.
The thought of a hungry pack ofsixth graders cloning my every
word made me shudder.
In my pastel Hawaiian shirt, Ifelt like the only thing
standing between order andpandemonium was a questionable
sense of humor and a solidplaylist of 70s music, because,
(05:52):
let's be honest, nothingdiffuses tension better than a
little staying alive.
Eventually, I found myselfstanding in front of a classroom
door my classroom door, I mightadd.
It felt like a portal to adifferent dimension.
That's ironic, since I just gotback from Epic Universe.
I put my hand on the handle,took another deep breath and
(06:12):
steeled myself for whatever laywithin.
My heart pounded like a bassdrum as I turned the knob,
partially afraid of what was onthe other side some
parasite-like preteen who'dbecome the ruler of the jungle,
ready to dethrone me at mymoment.
What if this self-imposedgamble didn't pay off?
If only I could summon thespirit of my vacation trips,
(06:37):
with their easygoing vibes andcharm.
As I entered the classroom, theenergy was palpable a mix of
excitement, shenanigans and ahint of treachery, lurking in
the corners like a cat ready topounce.
I let out, let out a nervousle,which earned me a look from a
girl in the back who seemedsuspiciously wise for 12 years
(06:58):
old.
She had a half smirk on herface, as if she had just
realized she was about towitness a glorious train wreck.
I quickly gathered my thoughtsand put on my teacher face which
, by the way, looks a lot likemy regular face, but with a
touch of full confidence addedin.
I cleared my throat a soundthat resonated throughout the
(07:18):
classroom like an air horn andintroduced myself Good morning
everyone.
I'm Mr Collins, your substituteteacher for the day.
The way I said it, I couldalmost hear the echo of
uncertainty ripple through theroom, I swear they collectively
held their breath, trying toanalyze me like a science
experiment gone wrong.
It was as if they are tradingbets on whether or not I could
(07:40):
keep them under control.
Some students nodded.
Others seemed deep in thoughtabout whether they would need to
send a rescue text to theirparents.
After a whirlwind ofintroductions, I tried to regain
a semblance of control, askthem what they like to do.
The conversations fused into acacophony reminiscent of a disco
(08:00):
party gone wrong, with kidsshouting out hobbies like eating
pizza, playing video games andscrolling Insta.
No surprise there.
If there was one thing Ilearned from all those years
watching 70s sitcoms, it wasthat kids could be unabashedly
honest about what they loved.
I could hear the echo of goldensongs like Dancing Queen
(08:24):
playing in the back of my mind,because hey, who doesn't love a
little dancing amid chaos?
To further complicate matters, Idecided to introduce some
engaging activities.
I split the classes into groups, arming them with construction
paper, scissors and markers inan effort to create their own
pizza, complete with toppings.
As we started discussingfractions, I figured if they
(08:47):
could grasp fractions bydesigning their ideal pizza,
perhaps that would spark somejoy and interest in math.
Yet what ensued was akin to akindergarten class left
unsupervised at a zoo.
Scissors began flying and paperpieces paper pizza slices
started sticking to walls likewildlife rather than resembling
(09:10):
culinary art.
I felt my heart race a littleas I realized I'd now created a
pizza-based paper mache site,more akin to an avant-garde
museum exhibit rather than amath lesson.
They say in teaching, a goodlesson plan is only as useful as
the ability to adapt toreal-time mayhem.
Very true.
(09:31):
As I swiveled around to regaincontrol, a part of me thought
what would the great rock starsof the 70s do in this situation?
The answer was simple They'droll with it and embrace the
chaos.
And that's precisely what Iattempted to do as I launched
into a bizarre, impromptudiscussion about how rock music
can break down barriers, eventhose formed by mythology around
(09:53):
fractions.
Somehow peppering stairway toheaven into my attempts by
making math relatable feltincredibly liberating at the
moment.
One sunny Tuesday morning Iwalked to the classroom filled
with an unusual sense ofoptimism.
I'd barely closed the doorbehind me when it happened.
A once innocent plastic waterbottle magically morphed into a
projectile, launched withpinpoint accuracy into the air,
(10:16):
like a scene straight out of anaction movie.
I turned just in time to seethe bottle sail majestically
across the room, grazing a poorgirl's curly top, before
plummeting into the oblivion ofmy finely crafted whiteboard.
Sure enough, the room eruptedinto chaos, as if it had been
waiting for this moment all week.
The resulting laughterricocheted off the walls,
(10:39):
bouncing like a basketball atfinals.
Guess, we've launched the waterbattle Olympics, I joke.
Trying to tame the insanityaround me To quell the ensuing
laughter.
I resorted to quick-wittedreasoning All right class, how
about we save the bottle tossfor gym class?
Today we'll focus on math andthe importance of aiming for the
(11:00):
right target.
Amid stifled giggles and knowingglances, I could see their
inner workings of the students'minds.
They were already concoctingelaborate schemes to outdo each
other with further antics.
Suddenly, suddenly, I felt likeI was hosting the world's least
productive episode of a show.
Looking back at the day, as Isipped a mug of lukewarm coffee,
(11:23):
my exhaustion felt strangelyrejuvenating.
It was as if I had stepped outof a classroom and into a world
that reminded me how to laughfreely and embrace moments of
spontaneous joy, something Imight have lost amid the
whirlwinds of adultresponsibilities.
My journey as a substituteteacher was just beginning, and
(11:45):
while the days ahead promisedtheir fair share of adventure,
heartbreak and comedy, Icouldn't help but feel excited.
I was all ready to encountermayhem, tackle unpredictability
and ultimately discover thewonderful world of learning
alongside those young minds.
Whatever tomorrow had in store,I could only hope it was as
(12:05):
festive as today and perhapssprinkled with a little less
flour.
All right, that's all I'm goingto read from the first chapter.
There's 14 other chapterspretty much just like it.
That's all I'm going to readfrom the first chapter.
There's 14 other chapterspretty much just like it.
I'll apologize to those of youthat listen to this podcast on a
faster speed, because I know Iwas talking really fast.
Try not to take up too muchtime, so you might have had to
(12:28):
click your speed down a littlebit for this one.
But that's it.
An AI-created book about me,not written by me or anybody
else, just written by the forcesout there above us.
Greg Collins Substitute Teachers Lounge.
It is June 26, 2025.
I always struggle a little bittrying to come up with topics in
the summer, because I take mostof my topics on what's happened
to me in the classroom, buttoday we're digging in more to
AI.
I hope it will be interestingto you because I have in front
(00:20):
of me a book called SubstituteTeacher's Guide to Chaos Real
Life Stories from the TrenchesLessons you Won't Find in Any
Textbook.
It says number one bestsellerof 2025, and the author is
listed as Greg Collins.
Well, I didn't write this.
This is not going to be acommercial.
(00:42):
I'm not even going to tell youthe company that I got this from
, but you can get it foryourself.
You can find it for yourself.
I should say I entered in abunch of stuff.
It was probably only 10questions.
One of them was what are youdoing right now as a substitute
teacher?
And AI created this book.
Now, I don't know if it justcreated it from those 10
(01:04):
questions or in some way it hada way to research me and find
out more.
But I'm going to read someexcerpts from the first chapter
that are absolutely uncanny.
Almost a little bit eerie,because it is so close to what
my actual early days ofsubstitute teaching were, so if
(01:27):
you've got a few extra dollarsspinning around, I would
encourage you to do this too.
It's actually a group that willdo this for anybody, not just
substitute teachers.
I'm actually going to put somecover art in the description of
the podcast today so that youcan see the way the cover turned
out too, but I'm lookingforward to it.
(01:47):
A book about me that I didn'twrite and neither did anyone
else.
Substitute teachers all right,I've had a great summer so far.
(02:07):
We just just spent a week inflorida, two days of which was
with one of my sons, and we wentto epic universe and had an
absolute blast.
You got to go see it.
Even if you're not a universalperson, you've got to go see
epic universe.
It's worth it.
My favorite attractions wasmonsters unchained.
(02:28):
My favorite land was supernintendo world.
That's really the reason Iwanted to go in the first place,
if you get the opportunity todo that.
The other great things I thissummer so far is I'm helping
coach a summer eight to tenyear-year-old volleyball team,
just a casual YMCA-type league.
(02:48):
We started playing games.
Last night I saw a couple ofstudents that I had subbed last
school year, I guess, there towatch their sister, so it was
cool to see them again.
Let's get back to this book now.
If you find this company,you'll find it.
If you want a book like this,you'll find it.
(03:10):
It's.
It's an ai created book.
I assume this is a new company.
I was really not.
My expectation, expectationsweren't that high, but, man,
after I looked through this,they created 20 chapters.
Now I will say this if you enterin the fact that you're a
substitute teacher, I don't know, maybe it creates the exact
(03:33):
same book for you with just yourname in spots instead of mine.
I don't know that, but I amgoing to try my best not to make
this a boring reading, butrather make it as if I'm talking
to you, like I normally do onmy podcast.
So here it goes.
I don't know how long this willtake.
I want it to be short becauseit's summertime.
(03:54):
Who wants to listen to a reallylong podcast?
But I'm already into it fourminutes, so I better get started
.
This is chapter one.
It is entitled the First DayJitters.
I'm going to skip around, buttry not to make it sound like
I'm skipping around.
So here we go.
As I stood in front of themirror that morning, my stomach
churning like a washing machineon spin cycle, I couldn't shake
(04:16):
the feeling that I was about toembark on one of the great
adventures of my life.
It wasn't a cruise ship filledwith sunsets or Mai Tais A
retired vacation groupie like meusually longed for that kind of
trip but rather my first day asa substitute teacher, who knew
that a grown man could feel thisjittery.
I felt like a contestant on agame show, waiting for the host
(04:41):
to announce the prize.
What do you get when you crossa nervous retiree with a
classroom full of kids?
Greg Collins, oh boy.
I could feel my heart racing inmy chest and my palms were
sweaty enough that I couldprobably have lubricated all the
wheels in my house as I droveto the school.
I couldn't help but imagine allthe potential disasters that
could unfold.
Would I walk into the classroomof sweet-faced little angels,
(05:05):
or would I stumble into a den ofteenage chaos where sanity went
to die?
Was I prepared to confront thelittle know-it-alls with their
snickering laughter and theiriPhones out at times?
The thought of a hungry pack ofsixth graders cloning my every
word made me shudder In mypastel Hawaiian shirt.
Let me break away just for amoment I can't remember what
(05:29):
telling this organization that Iwore Hawaiian shirts to school,
but I do just about every day.
All right back to the book.
The thought of a hungry pack ofsixth graders cloning my every
word made me shudder.
In my pastel Hawaiian shirt, Ifelt like the only thing
standing between order andpandemonium was a questionable
sense of humor and a solidplaylist of 70s music, because,
(05:52):
let's be honest, nothingdiffuses tension better than a
little staying alive.
Eventually, I found myselfstanding in front of a classroom
door my classroom door, I mightadd.
It felt like a portal to adifferent dimension.
That's ironic, since I just gotback from Epic Universe.
I put my hand on the handle,took another deep breath and
(06:12):
steeled myself for whatever laywithin.
My heart pounded like a bassdrum as I turned the knob,
partially afraid of what was onthe other side some
parasite-like preteen who'dbecome the ruler of the jungle,
ready to dethrone me at mymoment.
What if this self-imposedgamble didn't pay off?
If only I could summon thespirit of my vacation trips,
(06:37):
with their easygoing vibes andcharm.
As I entered the classroom, theenergy was palpable a mix of
excitement, shenanigans and ahint of treachery, lurking in
the corners like a cat ready topounce.
I let out, let out a nervousle,which earned me a look from a
girl in the back who seemedsuspiciously wise for 12 years
(06:58):
old.
She had a half smirk on herface, as if she had just
realized she was about towitness a glorious train wreck.
I quickly gathered my thoughtsand put on my teacher face which
, by the way, looks a lot likemy regular face, but with a
touch of full confidence addedin.
I cleared my throat a soundthat resonated throughout the
(07:18):
classroom like an air horn andintroduced myself Good morning
everyone.
I'm Mr Collins, your substituteteacher for the day.
The way I said it, I couldalmost hear the echo of
uncertainty ripple through theroom, I swear they collectively
held their breath, trying toanalyze me like a science
experiment gone wrong.
It was as if they are tradingbets on whether or not I could
(07:40):
keep them under control.
Some students nodded.
Others seemed deep in thoughtabout whether they would need to
send a rescue text to theirparents.
After a whirlwind ofintroductions, I tried to regain
a semblance of control, askthem what they like to do.
The conversations fused into acacophony reminiscent of a disco
(08:00):
party gone wrong, with kidsshouting out hobbies like eating
pizza, playing video games andscrolling Insta.
No surprise there.
If there was one thing Ilearned from all those years
watching 70s sitcoms, it wasthat kids could be unabashedly
honest about what they loved.
I could hear the echo of goldensongs like Dancing Queen
(08:24):
playing in the back of my mind,because hey, who doesn't love a
little dancing amid chaos?
To further complicate matters, Idecided to introduce some
engaging activities.
I split the classes into groups, arming them with construction
paper, scissors and markers inan effort to create their own
pizza, complete with toppings.
As we started discussingfractions, I figured if they
(08:47):
could grasp fractions bydesigning their ideal pizza,
perhaps that would spark somejoy and interest in math.
Yet what ensued was akin to akindergarten class left
unsupervised at a zoo.
Scissors began flying and paperpieces paper pizza slices
started sticking to walls likewildlife rather than resembling
(09:10):
culinary art.
I felt my heart race a littleas I realized I'd now created a
pizza-based paper mache site,more akin to an avant-garde
museum exhibit rather than amath lesson.
They say in teaching, a goodlesson plan is only as useful as
the ability to adapt toreal-time mayhem.
Very true.
(09:31):
As I swiveled around to regaincontrol, a part of me thought
what would the great rock starsof the 70s do in this situation?
The answer was simple They'droll with it and embrace the
chaos.
And that's precisely what Iattempted to do as I launched
into a bizarre, impromptudiscussion about how rock music
can break down barriers, eventhose formed by mythology around
(09:53):
fractions.
Somehow peppering stairway toheaven into my attempts by
making math relatable feltincredibly liberating at the
moment.
One sunny Tuesday morning Iwalked to the classroom filled
with an unusual sense ofoptimism.
I'd barely closed the doorbehind me when it happened.
A once innocent plastic waterbottle magically morphed into a
projectile, launched withpinpoint accuracy into the air,
(10:16):
like a scene straight out of anaction movie.
I turned just in time to seethe bottle sail majestically
across the room, grazing a poorgirl's curly top, before
plummeting into the oblivion ofmy finely crafted whiteboard.
Sure enough, the room eruptedinto chaos, as if it had been
waiting for this moment all week.
The resulting laughterricocheted off the walls,
(10:39):
bouncing like a basketball atfinals.
Guess, we've launched the waterbattle Olympics, I joke.
Trying to tame the insanityaround me To quell the ensuing
laughter.
I resorted to quick-wittedreasoning All right class, how
about we save the bottle tossfor gym class?
Today we'll focus on math andthe importance of aiming for the
(11:00):
right target.
Amid stifled giggles and knowingglances, I could see their
inner workings of the students'minds.
They were already concoctingelaborate schemes to outdo each
other with further antics.
Suddenly, suddenly, I felt likeI was hosting the world's least
productive episode of a show.
Looking back at the day, as Isipped a mug of lukewarm coffee,
(11:23):
my exhaustion felt strangelyrejuvenating.
It was as if I had stepped outof a classroom and into a world
that reminded me how to laughfreely and embrace moments of
spontaneous joy, something Imight have lost amid the
whirlwinds of adultresponsibilities.
My journey as a substituteteacher was just beginning, and
(11:45):
while the days ahead promisedtheir fair share of adventure,
heartbreak and comedy, Icouldn't help but feel excited.
I was all ready to encountermayhem, tackle unpredictability
and ultimately discover thewonderful world of learning
alongside those young minds.
Whatever tomorrow had in store,I could only hope it was as
(12:05):
festive as today and perhapssprinkled with a little less
flour.
All right, that's all I'm goingto read from the first chapter.
There's 14 other chapterspretty much just like it.
That's all I'm going to readfrom the first chapter.
There's 14 other chapterspretty much just like it.
I'll apologize to those of youthat listen to this podcast on a
faster speed, because I know Iwas talking really fast.
Try not to take up too muchtime, so you might have had to
(12:28):
click your speed down a littlebit for this one.
But that's it.
An AI-created book about me,not written by me or anybody
else, just written by the forcesout there above us.
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