March 25, 2025 • 14 mins
Physical boundaries in education have always required careful navigation, but today we're tackling the subject that many teachers hesitate to discuss openly – classroom hugs. Drawing from seven years of substitute teaching experience across elementary, middle, and high school settings, I'm sharing personal observations, experiences, and guidelines that have shaped my approach to this sensitive topic.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Greg Collins.
Substitute Teachers Loungepodcast.
It is March 25th 2025.
A bit different type of podcasttoday.
Something happened to me thisweek that made me think about it
and I'm thinking.
You know, we've never reallytalked about stuff like this.
Let me take you back just amoment to open by saying that in
(00:24):
the summer of 2018, I wasgetting ready I had just decided
to start substitute teaching.
My first day ended up beingthat November.
We had a fraternity reunion.
I think, given the date that itwas perhaps the 40th
anniversary of our establishmentand our college.
(00:46):
We were founding fathers and wewere always pretty proud of
that.
But when one of my fraternitybrothers heard me say that I was
going to start substituteteaching, he made the comment
well, he said don't touchanybody, and I already knew that
, but I thought it wasinteresting that he made that
comment.
(01:06):
Today, we're going to talk abouthugs.
Today, I want you to formulatein your head right now if hugs
are acceptable or if they're not, and what makes you think
either way.
Substitute teacher's lounge.
(01:30):
All right, let me make a coupleof statements right off the bat
and then I'm going to make someobservations.
First of all, since you'reprobably curious, I've
substitute taught for sevenyears and if you ever ask, if
(01:53):
you ask me if I ever initiated ahug with a student, the answer
is no.
I'll expound on that a littlebit.
I'll also tell you some of theobservations I've seen from
other teachers.
I also acknowledge that some ofyou are just naturally more
(02:14):
what's the word?
Affectionate than others, andthat's just a way of helping a
student.
Sometimes Some of you may hugstudents that are in various
situations, like a sped class orsomething traumatic just
happened in their family.
I guess we could call thoseexceptions to the rule.
(02:37):
But let me tell you what myobservations about hugging have
been and how do I react to that.
Now, right off the bat, Iprobably should also.
This is probably ridiculous tosay, but probably hugs have gone
down a little bit since COVIDbecause of making others sick.
(03:01):
I don't know, I'll let youdecide that, but let me start by
saying some of the things thatI've noticed.
First of all, back in that 2018year, I did notice that
students would hug their teachersometimes.
I've seen them hug custodians,I've seen them hug the principal
(03:25):
, whatever and did it make meuncomfortable?
Well, yes and no, it wasinnocent enough, but it did make
me a little bit uncomfortablejust to see that, because we
live in such an environment nowthat you just never know how
somebody is going to interpretsomething.
(03:47):
So that's one part of theargument.
Now I'll I'll this next storyI'll put in the category of
scheduled hugs.
Okay, I do know of a teacher.
The teacher is a very goodteacher, very intelligent, very,
uh, caring for her students.
(04:08):
This teacher makes Friday hugdays.
Now, before you go crazy, shegives the option to the students
of whether they need a hug ornot.
So when they leave her class onthat day, they will either give
her a hug and say have a greatweekend or they'll bump her fist
(04:31):
.
Now I don't know if you want tostart that when you substitute
teach, but that's one thing, andI've observed this teacher
doing that and it seemed to goover really well.
Let's face it, some studentsdon't always have the situations
(04:52):
in their life that are idealand if an innocent hug makes
them feel better, an innocent,quick hug, then maybe that's
okay.
Right, maybe that's okay.
So that's one thing I'veobserved.
I've also seen some teacherswhen a student tells them they
(05:14):
got a good grade on a test andthey knew that grade was really
needed to get their overallgrade up.
I've heard a teacher say giveme a hug, and that was a very
uplifting moment for thatstudent, and so you'll see
situations like that all thetime.
Here are my situations.
I told you that I have neverinitiated a hug.
(05:38):
I have been the recipient of ahug.
I was this week.
But let me back up and tell yousome of the situations in which
a student has asked to hug me.
One was just like I justdescribed.
It was a student that I hadknown for five years.
She just got accepted to a newcollege and she said Mr Collins,
(06:01):
you're our best substituteteacher.
Can I give you a hug?
Well, of course, I'm not goingto say no, you can't do it.
We might get get sick.
We'll share each other's germs.
She gave me a quick hug and weboth felt better about it.
I also have been part of asituation where one of the
(06:21):
students it was a high schoolstudent who was fundraising to
go to a trip overseas and theyasked me if I wanted to buy some
candy bars.
That was what the fundraiserwas.
So I bought five, but I onlyhad a $20 bill and, to be honest
(06:44):
, at the time I gave her the $20bill, I didn't even know what
it was for.
I asked him, by the way, whatis this for?
And the student and I said well, I'll tell you what.
She didn't have the change forthe 20.
And I said why don't you justkeep it?
This seems like a worthwhilething for you to do.
And she just looked at me andsaid Mr Collins, can I give you
(07:09):
a hug?
Now?
Some of you will say, well, shewas actually hugging my money,
but you know situations likethis.
That's okay.
That's okay.
That's not going to bemisinterpreted in any way.
That's situations that I havefound myself in and, if I can
use my favorite phrase on thispodcast, to be honest with you,
(07:30):
I sub a lot of different classesand sometimes I'll see students
that I hadn't seen for a while.
That happened a couple weeksago.
One of the high schoolers I wasactually at an elementary
school and one of the highschoolers who wanted to become a
second grade teacher saw me inthe hallway.
I had known her for years andshe came up and hugged me
because I hadn't seen them awhile.
(07:51):
Also, when I go back andsubstitute, teach students that
I haven't seen in a while.
They'll often just walk rightup to me and hug.
Now I have been in situationsusually it's more like a sped
student or something like thatwho their hug goes too long, and
(08:12):
I'll just say I'll be honestwith them.
I said you know we're notsupposed to hug that long, but
thank you, and they understandthat and back off.
This week I taught second grade.
You know, second grade stillscares me If any of them or
their parents are listening tothis.
It was a fantastic class.
(08:34):
I made sure the teacher knewthat In fact it was only a
morning half-day sub job and Igot to talk to the teacher when
he came back in around 1130.
And it's so funny because thiswas such a good group of kids
and I'll tell you one of thethings I said to them after I
(08:55):
had met them and talked to themfor three minutes, I just looked
at them and said now I'mprobably one of the meanest
substitute teachers you've evermet and they all just smiled and
laughed because they couldalready tell from my personality
three minutes from mypersonality that I was being
(09:18):
sarcastic and that I was apretty nice guy.
I was a friendly teacher and wehad a friendly day.
That day We'd go to the gym.
Some of the students would wantto sit with me.
Everywhere we went they wouldtalk to me and all that kind of
thing.
So it was really exciting.
I like to kind of mesh withstudents during lunch and walk
(09:41):
around and talk to the students.
Didn't get to do that that daybecause I left at 1130.
Their lunch slot had not comeup yet and their recess slot had
not come up yet.
Sometimes I'll play with themat recess, like basketball or
something where I'm not going tobreak a leg or something like
that.
So the teacher the regularteacher came in at about 1130.
(10:03):
And we talked a little bit.
I told him I had left notes forhim because they were an
excellent class, and I told himhow second grade, you know,
always scares me and this wasthe best second grade class I'd
had so far.
And I said all right, guys, youall have a good rest of the day
.
And one student walked up to meto give me a hug and then, since
(10:27):
that student did, all thestudents started coming up and I
said, oh my goodness.
I said now let's try our bestnot to share germs here.
But you know, I hugged themback and it was over in about
two seconds and I was glad theother teacher was in there to
see that.
And then one of the studentsprobably a, I'm going to say she
(10:50):
talked as much as I did, but itwas always in a productive way,
it was in a helping way, andshe walked right up to her
teacher and you could tell theyloved their teacher too.
When he opened the door to walkin, they called out his name
and I could tell that theyreally enjoyed his class.
She walked right up to him andsaid next time you need a sub,
can you call Mr Collins again?
(11:11):
And that you know that waspretty cool because I'd only
known them for like three, fourhours, and so that's one of the
things that made me record thepodcast today.
Those were totally innocent hugsfrom a bunch of second graders.
I was glad I had touched theirlives enough that they felt
(11:31):
comfortable with me.
And you know when we get rightdown to it felt comfortable with
me.
And you know when we get rightdown to it, isn't that what it's
all about.
If a student needs you for somereason, you're not going to
just reject their need.
You're going to say all right,let's talk about this.
I've done that before too.
I've students especially thatI've known from several days of
(11:52):
subbing, even if it's not thecurrent day.
If I just see them in thehallway and I see an upset, look
on their face, I'll saysomething.
Like you know, that's not theexpression I normally see on
your face.
I can tell something'sbothering you.
I said you don't have to tellme about it, but if you need
anything from me, let me know.
And that picked them up alittle bit.
(12:14):
I've just said that to astudent before and that student
would hug me at the end of theday on their way out.
And again, I have neverinitiated hugs, but if a student
comes up to me and hugs me,I'll, of course, return the hug
and not push them away, so tospeak.
But anyway, you've got to thinkabout what is best for you in
(12:35):
certain situations.
There might be some of youright out there right now that
say Mr Collins, hugs are alwaysokay, I'm going to hug whatever
student I want to.
Well, it's okay.
There's going to be some of youout there and I know you're out
there because I see your poston the Substitute Teachers on
Facebook group who will saydon't ever hug a student.
(13:00):
That could always beinterpreted the other way.
If they ask to give you a hug,if they walk up to you to give
you a hug, it's best that youjust turn them away.
You got to make those decisions.
You got to decide which one'sright for you.
I personally like to be helpfulto students.
If they are going through asituation that you can just tell
(13:23):
they need some kind of pick meup, well, I'm certainly not
going to turn them away if theyjust walk up to give me a quick
hug.
But I'm not going to initiatehugs myself.
I'm not going to listen totheir story and then say
something like you need a hug.
I will leave that up to them.
I'll never mention it, but Icertainly won't turn them away
(13:45):
if they're upset about somethingand just need a quick hug of
some type.
So that's what happened to methis week and you've got to
decide that for your own.
So there's your substituteteacher's lounge episode about
hugs.
Greg Collins.
Substitute Teachers Loungepodcast.
It is March 25th 2025.
A bit different type of podcasttoday.
Something happened to me thisweek that made me think about it
and I'm thinking.
You know, we've never reallytalked about stuff like this.
Let me take you back just amoment to open by saying that in
(00:24):
the summer of 2018, I wasgetting ready I had just decided
to start substitute teaching.
My first day ended up beingthat November.
We had a fraternity reunion.
I think, given the date that itwas perhaps the 40th
anniversary of our establishmentand our college.
(00:46):
We were founding fathers and wewere always pretty proud of
that.
But when one of my fraternitybrothers heard me say that I was
going to start substituteteaching, he made the comment
well, he said don't touchanybody, and I already knew that
, but I thought it wasinteresting that he made that
comment.
(01:06):
Today, we're going to talk abouthugs.
Today, I want you to formulatein your head right now if hugs
are acceptable or if they're not, and what makes you think
either way.
Substitute teacher's lounge.
(01:30):
All right, let me make a coupleof statements right off the bat
and then I'm going to make someobservations.
First of all, since you'reprobably curious, I've
substitute taught for sevenyears and if you ever ask, if
(01:53):
you ask me if I ever initiated ahug with a student, the answer
is no.
I'll expound on that a littlebit.
I'll also tell you some of theobservations I've seen from
other teachers.
I also acknowledge that some ofyou are just naturally more
(02:14):
what's the word?
Affectionate than others, andthat's just a way of helping a
student.
Sometimes Some of you may hugstudents that are in various
situations, like a sped class orsomething traumatic just
happened in their family.
I guess we could call thoseexceptions to the rule.
(02:37):
But let me tell you what myobservations about hugging have
been and how do I react to that.
Now, right off the bat, Iprobably should also.
This is probably ridiculous tosay, but probably hugs have gone
down a little bit since COVIDbecause of making others sick.
(03:01):
I don't know, I'll let youdecide that, but let me start by
saying some of the things thatI've noticed.
First of all, back in that 2018year, I did notice that
students would hug their teachersometimes.
I've seen them hug custodians,I've seen them hug the principal
(03:25):
, whatever and did it make meuncomfortable?
Well, yes and no, it wasinnocent enough, but it did make
me a little bit uncomfortablejust to see that, because we
live in such an environment nowthat you just never know how
somebody is going to interpretsomething.
(03:47):
So that's one part of theargument.
Now I'll I'll this next storyI'll put in the category of
scheduled hugs.
Okay, I do know of a teacher.
The teacher is a very goodteacher, very intelligent, very,
uh, caring for her students.
(04:08):
This teacher makes Friday hugdays.
Now, before you go crazy, shegives the option to the students
of whether they need a hug ornot.
So when they leave her class onthat day, they will either give
her a hug and say have a greatweekend or they'll bump her fist
(04:31):
.
Now I don't know if you want tostart that when you substitute
teach, but that's one thing, andI've observed this teacher
doing that and it seemed to goover really well.
Let's face it, some studentsdon't always have the situations
(04:52):
in their life that are idealand if an innocent hug makes
them feel better, an innocent,quick hug, then maybe that's
okay.
Right, maybe that's okay.
So that's one thing I'veobserved.
I've also seen some teacherswhen a student tells them they
(05:14):
got a good grade on a test andthey knew that grade was really
needed to get their overallgrade up.
I've heard a teacher say giveme a hug, and that was a very
uplifting moment for thatstudent, and so you'll see
situations like that all thetime.
Here are my situations.
I told you that I have neverinitiated a hug.
(05:38):
I have been the recipient of ahug.
I was this week.
But let me back up and tell yousome of the situations in which
a student has asked to hug me.
One was just like I justdescribed.
It was a student that I hadknown for five years.
She just got accepted to a newcollege and she said Mr Collins,
(06:01):
you're our best substituteteacher.
Can I give you a hug?
Well, of course, I'm not goingto say no, you can't do it.
We might get get sick.
We'll share each other's germs.
She gave me a quick hug and weboth felt better about it.
I also have been part of asituation where one of the
(06:21):
students it was a high schoolstudent who was fundraising to
go to a trip overseas and theyasked me if I wanted to buy some
candy bars.
That was what the fundraiserwas.
So I bought five, but I onlyhad a $20 bill and, to be honest
(06:44):
, at the time I gave her the $20bill, I didn't even know what
it was for.
I asked him, by the way, whatis this for?
And the student and I said well, I'll tell you what.
She didn't have the change forthe 20.
And I said why don't you justkeep it?
This seems like a worthwhilething for you to do.
And she just looked at me andsaid Mr Collins, can I give you
(07:09):
a hug?
Now?
Some of you will say, well, shewas actually hugging my money,
but you know situations likethis.
That's okay.
That's okay.
That's not going to bemisinterpreted in any way.
That's situations that I havefound myself in and, if I can
use my favorite phrase on thispodcast, to be honest with you,
(07:30):
I sub a lot of different classesand sometimes I'll see students
that I hadn't seen for a while.
That happened a couple weeksago.
One of the high schoolers I wasactually at an elementary
school and one of the highschoolers who wanted to become a
second grade teacher saw me inthe hallway.
I had known her for years andshe came up and hugged me
because I hadn't seen them awhile.
(07:51):
Also, when I go back andsubstitute, teach students that
I haven't seen in a while.
They'll often just walk rightup to me and hug.
Now I have been in situationsusually it's more like a sped
student or something like thatwho their hug goes too long, and
(08:12):
I'll just say I'll be honestwith them.
I said you know we're notsupposed to hug that long, but
thank you, and they understandthat and back off.
This week I taught second grade.
You know, second grade stillscares me If any of them or
their parents are listening tothis.
It was a fantastic class.
(08:34):
I made sure the teacher knewthat In fact it was only a
morning half-day sub job and Igot to talk to the teacher when
he came back in around 1130.
And it's so funny because thiswas such a good group of kids
and I'll tell you one of thethings I said to them after I
(08:55):
had met them and talked to themfor three minutes, I just looked
at them and said now I'mprobably one of the meanest
substitute teachers you've evermet and they all just smiled and
laughed because they couldalready tell from my personality
three minutes from mypersonality that I was being
(09:18):
sarcastic and that I was apretty nice guy.
I was a friendly teacher and wehad a friendly day.
That day We'd go to the gym.
Some of the students would wantto sit with me.
Everywhere we went they wouldtalk to me and all that kind of
thing.
So it was really exciting.
I like to kind of mesh withstudents during lunch and walk
(09:41):
around and talk to the students.
Didn't get to do that that daybecause I left at 1130.
Their lunch slot had not comeup yet and their recess slot had
not come up yet.
Sometimes I'll play with themat recess, like basketball or
something where I'm not going tobreak a leg or something like
that.
So the teacher the regularteacher came in at about 1130.
(10:03):
And we talked a little bit.
I told him I had left notes forhim because they were an
excellent class, and I told himhow second grade, you know,
always scares me and this wasthe best second grade class I'd
had so far.
And I said all right, guys, youall have a good rest of the day
.
And one student walked up to meto give me a hug and then, since
(10:27):
that student did, all thestudents started coming up and I
said, oh my goodness.
I said now let's try our bestnot to share germs here.
But you know, I hugged themback and it was over in about
two seconds and I was glad theother teacher was in there to
see that.
And then one of the studentsprobably a, I'm going to say she
(10:50):
talked as much as I did, but itwas always in a productive way,
it was in a helping way, andshe walked right up to her
teacher and you could tell theyloved their teacher too.
When he opened the door to walkin, they called out his name
and I could tell that theyreally enjoyed his class.
She walked right up to him andsaid next time you need a sub,
can you call Mr Collins again?
(11:11):
And that you know that waspretty cool because I'd only
known them for like three, fourhours, and so that's one of the
things that made me record thepodcast today.
Those were totally innocent hugsfrom a bunch of second graders.
I was glad I had touched theirlives enough that they felt
(11:31):
comfortable with me.
And you know when we get rightdown to it felt comfortable with
me.
And you know when we get rightdown to it, isn't that what it's
all about.
If a student needs you for somereason, you're not going to
just reject their need.
You're going to say all right,let's talk about this.
I've done that before too.
I've students especially thatI've known from several days of
(11:52):
subbing, even if it's not thecurrent day.
If I just see them in thehallway and I see an upset, look
on their face, I'll saysomething.
Like you know, that's not theexpression I normally see on
your face.
I can tell something'sbothering you.
I said you don't have to tellme about it, but if you need
anything from me, let me know.
And that picked them up alittle bit.
(12:14):
I've just said that to astudent before and that student
would hug me at the end of theday on their way out.
And again, I have neverinitiated hugs, but if a student
comes up to me and hugs me,I'll, of course, return the hug
and not push them away, so tospeak.
But anyway, you've got to thinkabout what is best for you in
(12:35):
certain situations.
There might be some of youright out there right now that
say Mr Collins, hugs are alwaysokay, I'm going to hug whatever
student I want to.
Well, it's okay.
There's going to be some of youout there and I know you're out
there because I see your poston the Substitute Teachers on
Facebook group who will saydon't ever hug a student.
(13:00):
That could always beinterpreted the other way.
If they ask to give you a hug,if they walk up to you to give
you a hug, it's best that youjust turn them away.
You got to make those decisions.
You got to decide which one'sright for you.
I personally like to be helpfulto students.
If they are going through asituation that you can just tell
(13:23):
they need some kind of pick meup, well, I'm certainly not
going to turn them away if theyjust walk up to give me a quick
hug.
But I'm not going to initiatehugs myself.
I'm not going to listen totheir story and then say
something like you need a hug.
I will leave that up to them.
I'll never mention it, but Icertainly won't turn them away
(13:45):
if they're upset about somethingand just need a quick hug of
some type.
So that's what happened to methis week and you've got to
decide that for your own.
So there's your substituteteacher's lounge episode about
hugs.
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