January 29, 2025 • 20 mins
Unlock the secrets to becoming a more effective leader by mastering emotional intelligence. Learn how to harness the power of self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills to transform your leadership style. Discover how emotional intelligence can be just as crucial as technical knowledge for managers and leaders striving for success. We break down these components and demonstrate their essential role in fostering a harmonious and productive work environment through vivid real-world examples and practical insights.
Join us as we share the inspiring journey of Janet Carroll Miller, whose exceptional emotional intelligence traits allowed her to successfully navigate complex workplace dynamics as a former HR leader. We also delve into the practical wisdom from "Emotional Intelligence 2.0" by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, revealing a valuable four-core EQ system to boost your skills in self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. This episode is your guide to enhancing your emotional intelligence, providing strategies to stand out in today’s competitive landscape and elevate your leadership capabilities.
Presented by John Wandolowski and Greg Powell
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Welcome to our podcast Success in Christmas
Stories.
I'm your host, john Wondoloski,and I'm here with my co-host
and friend.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Greg, paul, greg, hey , everybody yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
So today yeah, give that drummer a chance to get his
last note in there.
We wanted to talk about asubject that is something we've
talked about in the past, but itis something that is very
important.
It's called emotionalintelligence, and there is so
much more.
That meets the eye to thesubject itself, and for me it's
(00:58):
the skills, the self-awarenesscomes to mind first, but there
is so much more.
Let's get into the heart of it.
Emotional intelligence formanagers is kind of an important
starting point for them tounderstand not only how it's
applied, but it goes withoutsaying that managers need to
(01:19):
possess a certain amount ofintelligence, general
intelligence in terms of beingeffective leaders.
This intelligence is beyondtechnical or even
industry-related knowledge andunderstanding.
Typically, intelligence is adefinition of having or showing
the ability to learn, understandand solve problems.
(01:40):
It can also mean having a goodjudgment or sound approach in
terms of how you apply yourselfas a manager or a leader.
There are other types ofintelligence, but the most
important for an effectivemanager is what is referred to
as emotional intelligence.
People with high emotionalintelligence, or EI, can
(02:06):
identify how they are feeling,how those around them are
feeling, and how the emotionsimpact the behavior and, in turn
, other people.
It is a harder issue to managethe emotions of other people if
you can't somehow controlsomeone's feelings or their
(02:26):
behaviors.
But if you can identify theemotions behind their behavior,
you'll have a betterunderstanding of where they're
coming from and how best tointeract with them.
So what is emotionalintelligence?
So what is emotionalintelligence?
Emotional intelligence is theability to manage both your own
(02:48):
emotions and to understand theemotions of people around you.
That definition is from theMental Health of America Society
and they're trying to help interms of defining mental health
(03:10):
in America's workplace andwellness center.
The psychologist Daniel Goldmanidentified five key personal and
interpersonal skills involvedin emotional intelligence and
why EQ is just as important asIQ when it comes to success.
Five key points areself-awareness, self-regulation,
(03:32):
motivation, empathy and socialskills.
So what does emotionalintelligence look like?
Well, there's a company calledThinkPsych and they did a
wonderful job of describing it,and I'm going to try to do the
best I can to show a visualimage and give you the
(03:53):
blow-by-blow of how it'sactually designed.
They have a wheel of fivedifferent components Social
skills being able to create andmaintain healthy relationships.
The next part of the wheel isself-awareness Again, the
knowledge of one's own thoughts,feelings and motivations.
(04:14):
Next on the wheel isself-regulation, the ability to
regulate emotions and actions ina variety of environments.
Empathy, which I think is themost important element, is the
capacity to emphasize andappreciate each other's
perspectives.
And the last beingdecision-making the ability to
make responsible choices and toaccept their outcome.
(04:38):
Kind of reminds me of the MBRelement of taking responsibility
, whether we like it or not.
Greg, why don't you help us outwith the next part?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Thanks, John.
So we'll take a little deeperdive on those elements, the
components of emotionalintelligence and this
information comes from StudentInsights, the Five Elements of
Emotional Intelligence, and theauthor was ICAEW Insights
Magazine.
It was published in April of2021.
So, as John mentioned, let'sstart off with self-awareness.
Self-awareness is aboutrecognizing and understanding
(05:11):
your emotions, what you'refeeling and why you're feeling
that way, as well asappreciating how they affect
those around you.
It's a basis of good intuitionand decision-making, helping you
to instinctively make the rightchoices for you in all aspects
of your life.
The next one is self-regulation.
Once you've mastered emotionalawareness, the next step is
(05:35):
managing those emotions,particularly the negative ones,
effectively.
Always treat others withrespect and try to stay in
control.
If you have a tendency toemotional outbursts, practice
being calm, Step back and take adeep breath.
It is important to stay true toyour values and hold yourself
personally accountable for anymistakes.
The next one is motivation, andJohn has mentioned we've talked
(05:59):
about this particular elementin other contexts, but still
about being responsible.
Motivation is about your driveto improve and achieve, setting
high standards for yourself,working consistently towards
your goals.
Take the initiative, Be readyto act on opportunities as they
come along and practice beingassertive.
Motivation is also aboutoptimism and resilience and
(06:23):
finding the positive in asituation, even or especially
when things don't go well.
The next piece is empathy.
We definitely have talked aboutthis in some podcast episodes.
A key interpersonal skill,empathy, is the ability to put
yourself in someone else's shoesand see a situation from their
perspective not just yours, butfrom their perspective.
(06:45):
As well as having an awarenessof those others' feelings, it's
important to acknowledge themand respond to them, even if you
don't agree with them.
Respecting diversity andinclusion is a vital aspect of
empathy, as is communication.
Pay close attention to what youand others say, whether
verbally or through bodylanguage.
(07:05):
Finally, social skills.
Often described as a peopleperson and I was in human
resources and that was mynickname, I think, for many
years those who are sociallyskilled are adept at dealing
with others.
They are trustworthy teamplayers and confident
communicators as good atlistening to other people as
(07:27):
they are at speaking themselves.
Go both ways.
They also make great leadersinspiring, motivating colleagues
, managing change and resolvingconflict effectively, and giving
praise where it's due.
So what are some signs of goodemotional intelligence, John?
Can you help us with that?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Sure.
So, looking for good emotionalintelligence, there's the
repetitive element ofself-awareness, being able to
recognize and manage emotions,and I think this is a
reinforcement of what we'vetalked about the empathy.
To be able to understand otherpeople's feelings and knowing
(08:08):
the strengths and weaknesses, tounderstand what is good in
terms of what you're able to doand what you're not good at.
And so many of you see thesetraining programs tell you how
to improve the things thatyou're bad at.
Training programs tell you howto improve the things that
you're bad at.
To be perfectly honest, thetwist of that is to emphasize
(08:28):
the things that you're good atand expand on it.
It's much wiser, to beperfectly honest, emotional
vocabulary is being able toadequately identify your
emotions as they occur, andprobably the one that I have
been told that I have to becareful of is seeking perfection
(08:49):
.
We're not perfect.
To accept who you are and tounderstand to pursue that
progress rather than perfection,those are all key elements of
somebody who understandsemotional intelligence.
Another good sign is to let goof mistakes Sometimes, to accept
them as failure is part of whatyou do in terms of order to be
(09:11):
successful.
Whenever I think about lettinggo of mistakes, I keep on
thinking about Edison and thethousands of times that he
didn't create something until hehad the one successful
experiment.
The light bulb is my favorite,but he had more examples of how
not to make a light bulb, justto stay with the context.
(09:32):
Being able to distance yourselffrom mistakes without
forgetting them that's a nice,nice way to phrase it.
Control over your thoughts, tobe able to assert control over
your mental state and be able towork on your train of thought.
Next is the interesting elementof not holding a grudge Simply
(09:57):
understanding what it is interms of a trigger and a stress
response.
There's no advantage of holdinga grudge.
Other signs is being able toaccept criticism, responsibility
and move on even if there is amistake, to say no when it is
needed To share your feelingsand to help in terms of solving
(10:20):
problems.
The key there is to listen andnot to be judgmental.
The most important component ofthat is to listen.
So, greg, maybe you can give usa couple examples of emotional
intelligence, and people havedemonstrated that emotional
intelligence.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Thanks, john.
So we've got several folks herethat seem to be strong leaders
great examples of demonstratinghigh emotional intelligence.
Strong leaders create examplesof demonstrating high emotional
intelligence.
First one on the list is aformer CEO of PepsiCo, indra
Nooyah, known for her stronglistening skills and her open
communication style.
The next we've talked about himmany times Nelson Mandela, and
(11:02):
he is cited for his ability tounite people despite difficult
circumstances.
His ability to unite peopledespite difficult circumstances.
Abraham Lincoln for navigatingcomplex political situations and
demonstrating empathy along theway.
And finally, our current CEO ofMicrosoft, satya Nadella, who
(11:23):
is responsible for his abilityto adapt and embrace change
while fostering a positive teamenvironment.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
John, and they all show signs of emotional
intelligence and having thatskill set.
But there are other ways toassess EI and a couple of those
are like self-reportingquestionnaires, where
(11:52):
individuals get to answerquestions about their emotional
tendencies and behaviors, andthose questions help them in
terms of evaluating their EQ.
Ability-based testsParticipants complete tasks that
are designed to assess theirability to perceive, understand
and manage emotions, much likethe msceit miss that.
(12:17):
The next tool is the 360 degreefeedback, and we've talked
about the 360 degree in our past, but it is a wonderful way of
gathering feedback fromcolleagues, supervisors and
subordinates to get a holisticview of an individual emotional
intelligence and how you conductyourself.
Then there's behavioralobservations observing someone's
(12:42):
interactions with others inreal-time situations to assess
their EI, their emotionalintelligence.
So, greg, there's other populartools to assess emotional
intelligence.
Why don't we go over that?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
list.
Thanks, john.
So here's a few popular toolsthe Mayer-Solovey-Caruso
Emotional Intelligence Test,known as MSCEIT.
It's widely recognized as anability-based test measuring
different aspects of emotionalintelligence.
Another tool, bar-on EmotionalQuotient Inventory, also known
(13:21):
as EQ-I.
It's a self-reportquestionnaire assessing
emotional intelligence acrossvarious domains.
And then, finally, emotion andSocial Competency Inventory,
asci, a multi-rater assessmentused in workplaces to measure
emotional intelligence.
And, of course, when you havethese, you need folks that can
(13:41):
diagram the results to givefolks understanding what they
need to do differently, john, togive folks understanding what
they need to do differently.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
John.
So emotional intelligence is anelement of being able to manage
yourself and to understandwhere you fit into the process,
and for me, the process ismanagement by responsibility.
You're responsible to be ableto understand your EQ, your
(14:10):
emotional intelligence, and ifthese words don't ring a bell,
it's something that you reallyneed to look into.
Now, greg, you have an exampleof somebody that was in the
industry that demonstrated ahigh emotional intelligence
approach.
Maybe you can expand a littlebit about someone's story of
(14:31):
applying those skills.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Thanks, John.
Yeah, I'd be happy to.
My example is from a formerboss, my first leader in human
resources.
Her name was Janet CarrollMiller and she had some very key
emotional intelligence traits.
You have to think about thisI'm coming from operations and
order distribution and thingslike that into a sit-down desk
job inside and things are very,very different.
(14:57):
But her key traits were, first,empathy, recognizing how others
felt and taking it into accountwith their actions, especially
with if you can imagine employeerelations issues.
So she absolutely could feelwhat people were feeling and
felt like she'd walked in theirshoes before and apply that in
situations.
Emotional vocabulary the wordsshe spoke mattered to her, so
(15:19):
she chose them wisely whenspeaking to others and her tone
was always on point.
And finally, knowing yourstrengths and weaknesses.
She knew she was not perfect,but there were some things she
was really good at.
She leveraged her professionalstrengths to the max, like
reading people.
She was really good at readingpeople, assessing talent, quite
good at that.
And then she found ways tocover her opportunities for
(15:41):
development, and sometimes theopportunity for development was
just loud voice.
She just got it done with aquiet voice.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
John, when you said emotional vocabulary, sometimes
I notice people who have thistalent.
They'll use pauses in theirconversation.
They'll search for the rightwords, not just speak for the
sake of hearing their voice.
They're very deliberate interms of how they're speaking.
Did you notice that with Janet?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yes, she was that way also, by folding in body
language and how she would lookand sit in his chair and
whatever.
And I used to, I get it beforeshe had these really big glasses
, but how she would use thosebig glasses to help emphasize a
point or a thought, but in agentle way.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
And focus on you while she's looking at you hot
but in a gentle way and focus onyou while she's looking at you,
she's moving the glasses andyou're getting that
reinforcement that you're beinglistened to.
Those are all elements ofpeople who know how to use this
skill set.
So I had the opportunity toactually hear somebody talk
about emotional intelligence andit was the authors of the
(16:48):
Emotional Intelligence 2.0, thebook, and we had two of the
authors.
Forgive my memory, I don'tremember which one of the two,
but there's Travis Brambury,gina Graves, patrick Lincioni.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Thank, you and Black Sue.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Awesome, man, if it wasn't for your help, I'm
telling you, but I had.
I had two of them in the roomand they were explaining this
new book that they had justgenerated and it's a great book.
I I still have it, I'm lookingat it as we speak, and it's
emotional intelligence.
Eq is too often overlooked infavor of IQ.
In this book, it was a guide toshow how to boost your EQ and
(17:35):
why you should know and careabout it in the first place.
The other part that they weretalking about in their promo of
the book is that in today'sfast-paced world of competitive
workplace, turbulent economyconditions, each of us are
searching for an effective toolthat helps us manage, adapt and
be more successful incommunication.
(17:56):
Emotional Intelligence 2.0delivers on the step-by-step
guide to increase your emotionalintelligence using a four-core
EQ system in order to try toevaluate self-awareness,
self-management, socialawareness very important social
awareness we're going to betalking about that in a future
(18:16):
podcast and relationship ofmanagement itself interactive
management to exceed your goalsand to achieve your full
potential.
Now the part that I think ismost amazing about this book
since I had the chance to speakto the authors at the beginning
is I thought it was an excellentbook, but whenever you get
(18:40):
people that are recommending thebook, and you have the Dalai
Lama that likes the book, orSteve Kovny that likes the book,
or Newsweek that likes the book, you're clearly doing something
right in terms of trying tosend a message.
I can't endorse this book more.
I think it's a wonderful way totry to capsulize what Greg and
(19:04):
I are trying to share with youand have something physically in
your hand that does a great jobof representing it.
So, hopefully, this summary ishelpful and if you like what
you've heard, yeah, my book isavailable at Amazon and Barnes
(19:25):
Noble.
Building your LeadershipToolbox.
The podcast is what you'relistening to right now, thank
you.
It's also available on otherpopular podcast formats like
Apple, google and Spotify.
A lot of what Greg and I talkabout is relating our lessons
and the things that we'velearned to the MBR program,
which is really Dr Durst'sprogram, and if you want to
(19:47):
learn more about Dr Durst, it'ssuccessgrowthacademycom.
If you want to contact us, youcan contact us on
wwwauthorjawcom.
Music has been brought to youby my grandson, yeah, so we want
to hear from you.
We learn from you all the timeDifferent things that we have
(20:09):
done to change our context andsubjects, and we have found it
truly helpful.
So when you get a chance, dropus a line.
Well, greg, thank you.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Thanks, john, as always.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
And next time.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yeah.
Welcome to our podcast Success in Christmas
Stories.
I'm your host, john Wondoloski,and I'm here with my co-host
and friend.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Greg, paul, greg, hey , everybody yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
So today yeah, give that drummer a chance to get his
last note in there.
We wanted to talk about asubject that is something we've
talked about in the past, but itis something that is very
important.
It's called emotionalintelligence, and there is so
much more.
That meets the eye to thesubject itself, and for me it's
(00:58):
the skills, the self-awarenesscomes to mind first, but there
is so much more.
Let's get into the heart of it.
Emotional intelligence formanagers is kind of an important
starting point for them tounderstand not only how it's
applied, but it goes withoutsaying that managers need to
(01:19):
possess a certain amount ofintelligence, general
intelligence in terms of beingeffective leaders.
This intelligence is beyondtechnical or even
industry-related knowledge andunderstanding.
Typically, intelligence is adefinition of having or showing
the ability to learn, understandand solve problems.
(01:40):
It can also mean having a goodjudgment or sound approach in
terms of how you apply yourselfas a manager or a leader.
There are other types ofintelligence, but the most
important for an effectivemanager is what is referred to
as emotional intelligence.
People with high emotionalintelligence, or EI, can
(02:06):
identify how they are feeling,how those around them are
feeling, and how the emotionsimpact the behavior and, in turn
, other people.
It is a harder issue to managethe emotions of other people if
you can't somehow controlsomeone's feelings or their
(02:26):
behaviors.
But if you can identify theemotions behind their behavior,
you'll have a betterunderstanding of where they're
coming from and how best tointeract with them.
So what is emotionalintelligence?
So what is emotionalintelligence?
Emotional intelligence is theability to manage both your own
(02:48):
emotions and to understand theemotions of people around you.
That definition is from theMental Health of America Society
and they're trying to help interms of defining mental health
(03:10):
in America's workplace andwellness center.
The psychologist Daniel Goldmanidentified five key personal and
interpersonal skills involvedin emotional intelligence and
why EQ is just as important asIQ when it comes to success.
Five key points areself-awareness, self-regulation,
(03:32):
motivation, empathy and socialskills.
So what does emotionalintelligence look like?
Well, there's a company calledThinkPsych and they did a
wonderful job of describing it,and I'm going to try to do the
best I can to show a visualimage and give you the
(03:53):
blow-by-blow of how it'sactually designed.
They have a wheel of fivedifferent components Social
skills being able to create andmaintain healthy relationships.
The next part of the wheel isself-awareness Again, the
knowledge of one's own thoughts,feelings and motivations.
(04:14):
Next on the wheel isself-regulation, the ability to
regulate emotions and actions ina variety of environments.
Empathy, which I think is themost important element, is the
capacity to emphasize andappreciate each other's
perspectives.
And the last beingdecision-making the ability to
make responsible choices and toaccept their outcome.
(04:38):
Kind of reminds me of the MBRelement of taking responsibility
, whether we like it or not.
Greg, why don't you help us outwith the next part?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Thanks, John.
So we'll take a little deeperdive on those elements, the
components of emotionalintelligence and this
information comes from StudentInsights, the Five Elements of
Emotional Intelligence, and theauthor was ICAEW Insights
Magazine.
It was published in April of2021.
So, as John mentioned, let'sstart off with self-awareness.
Self-awareness is aboutrecognizing and understanding
(05:11):
your emotions, what you'refeeling and why you're feeling
that way, as well asappreciating how they affect
those around you.
It's a basis of good intuitionand decision-making, helping you
to instinctively make the rightchoices for you in all aspects
of your life.
The next one is self-regulation.
Once you've mastered emotionalawareness, the next step is
(05:35):
managing those emotions,particularly the negative ones,
effectively.
Always treat others withrespect and try to stay in
control.
If you have a tendency toemotional outbursts, practice
being calm, Step back and take adeep breath.
It is important to stay true toyour values and hold yourself
personally accountable for anymistakes.
The next one is motivation, andJohn has mentioned we've talked
(05:59):
about this particular elementin other contexts, but still
about being responsible.
Motivation is about your driveto improve and achieve, setting
high standards for yourself,working consistently towards
your goals.
Take the initiative, Be readyto act on opportunities as they
come along and practice beingassertive.
Motivation is also aboutoptimism and resilience and
(06:23):
finding the positive in asituation, even or especially
when things don't go well.
The next piece is empathy.
We definitely have talked aboutthis in some podcast episodes.
A key interpersonal skill,empathy, is the ability to put
yourself in someone else's shoesand see a situation from their
perspective not just yours, butfrom their perspective.
(06:45):
As well as having an awarenessof those others' feelings, it's
important to acknowledge themand respond to them, even if you
don't agree with them.
Respecting diversity andinclusion is a vital aspect of
empathy, as is communication.
Pay close attention to what youand others say, whether
verbally or through bodylanguage.
(07:05):
Finally, social skills.
Often described as a peopleperson and I was in human
resources and that was mynickname, I think, for many
years those who are sociallyskilled are adept at dealing
with others.
They are trustworthy teamplayers and confident
communicators as good atlistening to other people as
(07:27):
they are at speaking themselves.
Go both ways.
They also make great leadersinspiring, motivating colleagues
, managing change and resolvingconflict effectively, and giving
praise where it's due.
So what are some signs of goodemotional intelligence, John?
Can you help us with that?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Sure.
So, looking for good emotionalintelligence, there's the
repetitive element ofself-awareness, being able to
recognize and manage emotions,and I think this is a
reinforcement of what we'vetalked about the empathy.
To be able to understand otherpeople's feelings and knowing
(08:08):
the strengths and weaknesses, tounderstand what is good in
terms of what you're able to doand what you're not good at.
And so many of you see thesetraining programs tell you how
to improve the things thatyou're bad at.
Training programs tell you howto improve the things that
you're bad at.
To be perfectly honest, thetwist of that is to emphasize
(08:28):
the things that you're good atand expand on it.
It's much wiser, to beperfectly honest, emotional
vocabulary is being able toadequately identify your
emotions as they occur, andprobably the one that I have
been told that I have to becareful of is seeking perfection
(08:49):
.
We're not perfect.
To accept who you are and tounderstand to pursue that
progress rather than perfection,those are all key elements of
somebody who understandsemotional intelligence.
Another good sign is to let goof mistakes Sometimes, to accept
them as failure is part of whatyou do in terms of order to be
(09:11):
successful.
Whenever I think about lettinggo of mistakes, I keep on
thinking about Edison and thethousands of times that he
didn't create something until hehad the one successful
experiment.
The light bulb is my favorite,but he had more examples of how
not to make a light bulb, justto stay with the context.
(09:32):
Being able to distance yourselffrom mistakes without
forgetting them that's a nice,nice way to phrase it.
Control over your thoughts, tobe able to assert control over
your mental state and be able towork on your train of thought.
Next is the interesting elementof not holding a grudge Simply
(09:57):
understanding what it is interms of a trigger and a stress
response.
There's no advantage of holdinga grudge.
Other signs is being able toaccept criticism, responsibility
and move on even if there is amistake, to say no when it is
needed To share your feelingsand to help in terms of solving
(10:20):
problems.
The key there is to listen andnot to be judgmental.
The most important component ofthat is to listen.
So, greg, maybe you can give usa couple examples of emotional
intelligence, and people havedemonstrated that emotional
intelligence.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Thanks, john.
So we've got several folks herethat seem to be strong leaders
great examples of demonstratinghigh emotional intelligence.
Strong leaders create examplesof demonstrating high emotional
intelligence.
First one on the list is aformer CEO of PepsiCo, indra
Nooyah, known for her stronglistening skills and her open
communication style.
The next we've talked about himmany times Nelson Mandela, and
(11:02):
he is cited for his ability tounite people despite difficult
circumstances.
His ability to unite peopledespite difficult circumstances.
Abraham Lincoln for navigatingcomplex political situations and
demonstrating empathy along theway.
And finally, our current CEO ofMicrosoft, satya Nadella, who
(11:23):
is responsible for his abilityto adapt and embrace change
while fostering a positive teamenvironment.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
John, and they all show signs of emotional
intelligence and having thatskill set.
But there are other ways toassess EI and a couple of those
are like self-reportingquestionnaires, where
(11:52):
individuals get to answerquestions about their emotional
tendencies and behaviors, andthose questions help them in
terms of evaluating their EQ.
Ability-based testsParticipants complete tasks that
are designed to assess theirability to perceive, understand
and manage emotions, much likethe msceit miss that.
(12:17):
The next tool is the 360 degreefeedback, and we've talked
about the 360 degree in our past, but it is a wonderful way of
gathering feedback fromcolleagues, supervisors and
subordinates to get a holisticview of an individual emotional
intelligence and how you conductyourself.
Then there's behavioralobservations observing someone's
(12:42):
interactions with others inreal-time situations to assess
their EI, their emotionalintelligence.
So, greg, there's other populartools to assess emotional
intelligence.
Why don't we go over that?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
list.
Thanks, john.
So here's a few popular toolsthe Mayer-Solovey-Caruso
Emotional Intelligence Test,known as MSCEIT.
It's widely recognized as anability-based test measuring
different aspects of emotionalintelligence.
Another tool, bar-on EmotionalQuotient Inventory, also known
(13:21):
as EQ-I.
It's a self-reportquestionnaire assessing
emotional intelligence acrossvarious domains.
And then, finally, emotion andSocial Competency Inventory,
asci, a multi-rater assessmentused in workplaces to measure
emotional intelligence.
And, of course, when you havethese, you need folks that can
(13:41):
diagram the results to givefolks understanding what they
need to do differently, john, togive folks understanding what
they need to do differently.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
John.
So emotional intelligence is anelement of being able to manage
yourself and to understandwhere you fit into the process,
and for me, the process ismanagement by responsibility.
You're responsible to be ableto understand your EQ, your
(14:10):
emotional intelligence, and ifthese words don't ring a bell,
it's something that you reallyneed to look into.
Now, greg, you have an exampleof somebody that was in the
industry that demonstrated ahigh emotional intelligence
approach.
Maybe you can expand a littlebit about someone's story of
(14:31):
applying those skills.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Thanks, John.
Yeah, I'd be happy to.
My example is from a formerboss, my first leader in human
resources.
Her name was Janet CarrollMiller and she had some very key
emotional intelligence traits.
You have to think about thisI'm coming from operations and
order distribution and thingslike that into a sit-down desk
job inside and things are very,very different.
(14:57):
But her key traits were, first,empathy, recognizing how others
felt and taking it into accountwith their actions, especially
with if you can imagine employeerelations issues.
So she absolutely could feelwhat people were feeling and
felt like she'd walked in theirshoes before and apply that in
situations.
Emotional vocabulary the wordsshe spoke mattered to her, so
(15:19):
she chose them wisely whenspeaking to others and her tone
was always on point.
And finally, knowing yourstrengths and weaknesses.
She knew she was not perfect,but there were some things she
was really good at.
She leveraged her professionalstrengths to the max, like
reading people.
She was really good at readingpeople, assessing talent, quite
good at that.
And then she found ways tocover her opportunities for
(15:41):
development, and sometimes theopportunity for development was
just loud voice.
She just got it done with aquiet voice.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
John, when you said emotional vocabulary, sometimes
I notice people who have thistalent.
They'll use pauses in theirconversation.
They'll search for the rightwords, not just speak for the
sake of hearing their voice.
They're very deliberate interms of how they're speaking.
Did you notice that with Janet?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yes, she was that way also, by folding in body
language and how she would lookand sit in his chair and
whatever.
And I used to, I get it beforeshe had these really big glasses
, but how she would use thosebig glasses to help emphasize a
point or a thought, but in agentle way.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
And focus on you while she's looking at you hot
but in a gentle way and focus onyou while she's looking at you,
she's moving the glasses andyou're getting that
reinforcement that you're beinglistened to.
Those are all elements ofpeople who know how to use this
skill set.
So I had the opportunity toactually hear somebody talk
about emotional intelligence andit was the authors of the
(16:48):
Emotional Intelligence 2.0, thebook, and we had two of the
authors.
Forgive my memory, I don'tremember which one of the two,
but there's Travis Brambury,gina Graves, patrick Lincioni.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Thank, you and Black Sue.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Awesome, man, if it wasn't for your help, I'm
telling you, but I had.
I had two of them in the roomand they were explaining this
new book that they had justgenerated and it's a great book.
I I still have it, I'm lookingat it as we speak, and it's
emotional intelligence.
Eq is too often overlooked infavor of IQ.
In this book, it was a guide toshow how to boost your EQ and
(17:35):
why you should know and careabout it in the first place.
The other part that they weretalking about in their promo of
the book is that in today'sfast-paced world of competitive
workplace, turbulent economyconditions, each of us are
searching for an effective toolthat helps us manage, adapt and
be more successful incommunication.
(17:56):
Emotional Intelligence 2.0delivers on the step-by-step
guide to increase your emotionalintelligence using a four-core
EQ system in order to try toevaluate self-awareness,
self-management, socialawareness very important social
awareness we're going to betalking about that in a future
(18:16):
podcast and relationship ofmanagement itself interactive
management to exceed your goalsand to achieve your full
potential.
Now the part that I think ismost amazing about this book
since I had the chance to speakto the authors at the beginning
is I thought it was an excellentbook, but whenever you get
(18:40):
people that are recommending thebook, and you have the Dalai
Lama that likes the book, orSteve Kovny that likes the book,
or Newsweek that likes the book, you're clearly doing something
right in terms of trying tosend a message.
I can't endorse this book more.
I think it's a wonderful way totry to capsulize what Greg and
(19:04):
I are trying to share with youand have something physically in
your hand that does a great jobof representing it.
So, hopefully, this summary ishelpful and if you like what
you've heard, yeah, my book isavailable at Amazon and Barnes
(19:25):
Noble.
Building your LeadershipToolbox.
The podcast is what you'relistening to right now, thank
you.
It's also available on otherpopular podcast formats like
Apple, google and Spotify.
A lot of what Greg and I talkabout is relating our lessons
and the things that we'velearned to the MBR program,
which is really Dr Durst'sprogram, and if you want to
(19:47):
learn more about Dr Durst, it'ssuccessgrowthacademycom.
If you want to contact us, youcan contact us on
wwwauthorjawcom.
Music has been brought to youby my grandson, yeah, so we want
to hear from you.
We learn from you all the timeDifferent things that we have
(20:09):
done to change our context andsubjects, and we have found it
truly helpful.
So when you get a chance, dropus a line.
Well, greg, thank you.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Thanks, john, as always.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
And next time.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yeah.
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