April 11, 2025 • 26 mins
Words shape our workplace environments, influencing employee morale, productivity, and relationships in profound ways. Effective leaders understand that conscious communication fosters psychological safety and inclusivity, creating spaces where people can express themselves openly without fear of judgment.
• Words can perpetuate stereotypes or build inclusive environments
• Using positive reinforcement and constructive feedback properly motivates teams
• Recognition of achievements, even through simple "thank you" statements, significantly impacts morale
• Active listening demonstrates respect and builds trust
• Consistency in messaging reinforces reliability and credibility
• Admitting mistakes openly demonstrates integrity and accountability
• Genuine praise strengthens team morale and reinforces positive behaviors
• Tone and timing matter as much as the words themselves
• Thank you cards have tremendous power when they express genuine appreciation
• Finding trusted colleagues who provide honest feedback improves communication effectiveness
Visit successgrowthacademy.com for more leadership resources or find John's book "Building your Leadership Toolbox" on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Contact us at www.authorjaw.com and let us know what you think!
Presented by John Wandolowski and Greg Powell
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hello and welcome to Success Secrets and Stories.
I'm your host, john Wondolowski.
I'm here with my co-host andfriend.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Greg Powell, greg, hey, everybody, yeah, and today,
we're going to talk about aninteresting subject.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
It is words, and words and the words that you use
have a profound impact on yourworkplace, the psychology of how
people receive your information, the significant influence on
your overall environment.
What words you use can affectemployee morale, productivity,
(00:55):
relationships.
And language is becoming, Ithink, far too casual and people
are making too many assumptionsin terms of how they
communicate.
To understand the power oflanguage, to understand what
that means in terms ofleadership and individuals, you
can foster either a positiveenvironment and an inclusive
(01:15):
environment or the very opposite.
I think that's the key.
So, to try to get into it alittle bit, there's a philosophy
of what would be calledpsychological safety and using
words and how you communicate.
It's really kind of shaping asafe space to understand that
(01:36):
you're creating an environmentwhere people can communicate
openly and they can be engagingto promote that kind of open
communication, especially whenwe're dealing with the world
that we're dealing with now andhow people are so siloed or I
don't know, they're not verycautious with how they
communicate.
You have to take the leadershipapproach and not fall into the
(02:00):
trap of poor communication.
Using words and being inclusiveor making sure that they're not
offensive, doesn't take a tonof thought, but it has to be
conscious and sometimes, ifyou're not very aware that your
conversation as a leader isdifferent than what it is with
(02:21):
your friends on a Friday nightat the bowling alley, there's a
significant difference betweenthe two and that's really the
heart of understanding what itis to be in leadership.
Sharing vulnerabilities isalways a questionable mark when
you're dealing with a businessapplication, but understand that
(02:41):
you could be receiving thosekind of inputs and you have to
be careful on when somebody'ssharing something, when they're
vulnerable, what thatcommunication really entails and
your commitment to it.
Another part of the impact ispositive reinforcement and
constructive feedback makingsure that you're helping people
(03:04):
to make the transition andconstructive feedback making
sure that you're helping peopleto make the transition.
I think that the positivereinforcement conversation is so
important right now when you'redealing with people that are
dealing with cutbacks, aredealing with the issues that are
associated with competition.
(03:25):
Whenever there's competitionwithin departments, how you
communicate is really how youreflect and how your team
reflects your wishes, yourapproach, recognizing
achievements, which is beingconscious and being within the
moment, making sure that you'remaking it a positive environment
.
You want to reward people,whether it's nothing more than a
smile and a thank you ortalking about the contributions
(03:46):
to the team.
Those recognitions are veryimportant to create a positive
environment and to avoidnegativity.
Unless you have to make a pointand it has to be corrected
quickly, creating a toxic workenvironment is not that
difficult to achieve.
It's, unfortunately, prettyeasy to achieve and it's really
(04:07):
hard to change.
So those are kind of a startingpoint.
Greg, why don't you pick it upwith the next point?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Thanks, john.
Let's talk about shapingperceptions and behaviors
Language and bias, for instance.
Always be mindful of howlanguage can perpetuate
stereotypes and usually we'retalking about something negative
when we talk about stereotypesor reinforce biases and strive
to use language that isinclusive and respectful of all
employees.
(04:35):
How about the power of words tomotivate?
Words can be used to inspireand motivate employees to
achieve their goals andcontribute to the success of the
company.
The impact of language onrelationships how people get
along the way we speak to ourcolleagues can significantly
impact our relationships withthem.
So it's important to be mindfulof our language and how it
(04:57):
might be perceived.
Practical tips for improvingworkplace communication.
Practical tips for improvingworkplace communication.
Practice active listening.
Pay attention to what othersare saying, both verbally and
non-verbally, and respondthoughtfully and respectfully.
We've talked before aboutreading the room.
That's part of the things thatyou need to do in a situation
(05:24):
like this.
Use I statements.
Express your thoughts andfeelings using I statements
rather than blaming or accusingothers.
Focus on solutions.
I like to call it the pathforward when addressing problems
or conflicts.
Focus on finding solutionsrather than dwelling on the
problem itself.
Be mindful of the tone of yourvoice.
Your tone of voice can convey alot, so be mindful of how you
(05:49):
speak and ensure that your toneis positive and encouraging.
We'll talk more about that in alittle bit, yeah.
And then seek feedback.
I always like to say feedbackis a gift.
Ask for feedback from yourcolleagues and be open to
constructive criticism.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
John, and just the feedback piece of it I think is
kind of interesting.
I've always learned that if youwere to ask a peer that you
trust, some feedback on whatyou're trying to present.
That's something that you'regoing to talk about later.
Having someone that you can useto help see how the message
comes across is a great tool,and it's one of the reasons why
(06:26):
you develop peer friendships, sothat they are in the same boat
as you are trying to make surethat you're doing the best you
can in terms of leading, andhaving that camaraderie is an
important part of being able todo a better job and be a better
leader.
So, in that vein, I also wantedto look for an article that was
(06:52):
going to try to capture this.
At the same time, and from thePeople's Development Magazine,
they have this interestingarticle, watch your Words, which
the full title is Watch yourWords they are more influential
than you think.
It was by Connie Waddell and itwas from March 20th 2021.
And she did a very good job ofputting it a little bit more
(07:15):
detailed.
So let me be very specific interms of her article.
She starts off with wordsmatter.
Smart leaders know that thescrutiny of every word and
action is key as a leader.
Know what you say hasconsequences.
You need to watch your words.
They are extremely influential.
The position, the power, theinfluence comes from
(07:40):
responsibility.
We yearn for leaders that canbuild and believe in and have
that trust.
Let's have a frank conversationabout why you must watch your
words.
We can't read minds.
Leaders want to know what youthink.
We want to know where you arewhen you're talking to us.
(08:02):
We want to know why you makethe decisions and take the
actions that you take and howthat future will affect us.
How you present your ideas,persuade us and either follow or
resist.
Accordingly, most of us are inthe circle of friends or
influence.
One of the ways that you canunderstand what we're thinking
(08:27):
is by paying attention to whatyou write and what you say.
That's the implied.
That words really matter to us.
Turn us into believers is ournext point.
You need to prove to us thatyou're trustworthy.
We are skeptical of yourleadership.
Before you open your mouth orhit the send button or use your
(08:51):
mobile device, please check yourfax.
I'd say also check yourspelling.
Comes out of your mouth.
You can't take it back.
It's said yes, you can spinthat message later or apologize
for the misstatement, but youown it each time you do it.
(09:12):
We connect with people who webelieve are credible.
We follow leaders who we trust.
Stephen Coveney gave us apractical model of credibility.
We look at all four of thesecharacteristics to determine if
a leader is credible Integrity,intent, capability and results.
(09:32):
We will assist you with yourcharacter and, whether we like
it or not, in terms of howyou're coming across with the
words that you use and when welook into it as far as a deeper
understanding, your integrityand your intent are key and what
it has to say about us in termsof visibility and clarity to
(09:54):
both the listener and the personspeaking.
Silence is acceptance.
I'm going to put a star on thatone.
If you don't respond, thenyou're implying that you're
accepting.
We elevate leaders by what theysay.
We evaluate leaders by whatthey don't say.
(10:15):
It troubles us when we do notcall out the bad performance or
behavior.
If my co-worker's performanceis below standards and you fail
to address it, we think thatyou're either showing favoritism
, a hypocrite or a coward.
We hold leaders to a highstandard and we want you to live
(10:38):
up to it.
We hold leaders to a highstandard and we want you to live
up to it.
To my point about this article,it was very close to the things
that I've heard in my past andI think it was very well written
.
Greg, why don't you take us tothe next step?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Thanks, john.
In the continuation of Wordshave Power.
Be careful of your timing andtone.
Words can instantly inspire,inform and tone.
Words can instantly inspire,inform and motivate.
They can also explain, upset,scare or divide people.
Words matter, so do when and howyou deliver your message.
We recognize it is difficultfor you to determine the right
time to comment on reallydifficult issues.
However, in the absence of yourstatements, we make up stories
(11:18):
in our own heads.
Science tells us that once wemake up our minds, it's pretty
hard to move us in a differentdirection.
Your tone is important.
We want to believe you aresincere and that you mean what
you say.
We see mixed messages when yourtone and your words do not
match.
The tone circles back to yourcredibility and believability.
(11:42):
So let's talk about 10 ways towatch your words and communicate
effectively.
Unlocking the 10 strategies toimprove communication skills.
Paying attention to the wordsyou use is critical.
Here we set out 10 ways towatch your words and communicate
more effectively.
The first one communicateclearly and concisely.
(12:06):
Using clear and conciselanguage is essential for
avoiding misunderstandings andensuring that your message is
effectively received.
Avoid jargon and overly complexsentences.
Instead, choose simple wordsthat convey your meaning
directly to the folks listening.
If you do that, you showrespect for your audience's time
(12:28):
intelligence and you enhancethat thing we call trust.
Precision in language minimizesthe risk of misinterpretation
or making your communicationmore reliable and trustworthy.
The second one be honest andtransparent.
Your words should alwaysreflect honesty and transparency
(12:49):
.
Avoid euphemisms orsugarcoating difficult news.
That helps in buildingcredibility.
When you openly share thereasons behind your decisions
and the challenges you face, youfoster an environment of trust.
Transparent communicationdemonstrates that you're
reliable and willing to be open,which strengthens the trust of
(13:11):
your team and stakeholders.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
John.
The next point, number three, Ithink is really interesting
because it's something that I'vealso talked about a lot
Listening actively andresponding thoughtfully.
Active listening is not justhearing words, but understanding
the intent and emotion behindthem.
(13:34):
Responding thoughtfully, usingwords that show that you have
fully comprehended the message.
Those are key.
I will also throw in a littleeditorial commentary.
You don't have to answerquickly.
Silence gives you the abilityto maybe capture some thoughts.
(13:55):
She goes on to say paraphrasewhat you've heard to confirm
that you have an understandingand ask qualifying questions.
This approach shows respect,validation and making others
feel valued in building astronger trust.
Show empathy in your language,and this one can be a challenge.
(14:18):
Empathy as a communicationmeans choosing words that convey
understanding and compassion,acknowledgement of emotions and
the perceptions of your teamwith phrases like I understand
how you feel or I see why thisis important to you.
Using empathetic language helpsto build a connection and show
that you care about thewell-being which is essential
(14:41):
for trust.
I can tell you from some of ourprevious podcasts that we
talked about they're not lookingto be sorry for the person that
you're in the conversation with.
You're looking to empathizewith them and try to help them
look into options to workthrough the problem if they
engage you in that conversation.
(15:07):
The next point be consistent inyour message.
Consistency in your words.
Ensure that the team and thestakeholders know what is
expected from you.
Avoid contradicting yourself,as this can breed confusion and
mistrust.
Whether it's in an email ormeetings or a casual
conversation, maintain the sametone and messaging.
Consistency reinforcesreliability and trustworthiness,
(15:28):
showing that you stand by thewords that you've chosen.
Next, I think is an importantpiece that Greg and I both feel
is important Ask forconstructive feedback.
When offering feedback, yourwords should be aimed to build,
not break.
Focus on the specific behaviorsand outcomes rather than the
(15:50):
personal attributes, and frameyour feedback in a way that
encourages improvement.
Phrases like I noticed you didX and think if you did Y, it
would improve that.
Are there more constructiveways to try to approach the
problem?
By trying to push that ifstatement, I think is an
(16:13):
important element.
This approach ensures thatfeedback is received positively
and supports the trust-buildingenvironment.
But we've had and heard thesekinds of conversations.
If they're trying to ask forcorrective, greg, what's what's
the ever famous quote?
Feedback is a gift.
Okay, so the humor I've alwayshad whenever I've heard people
(16:36):
talk about constructive feedbackis an old HR technique that
I've heard.
It's you know like start outthe conversation with a good
thought, give them the bad newsand then end with a happy
thought.
They sometimes get confused.
What happened to the negativefeedback?
You've heard of this beforeright, absolutely, john.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
And one of the things that I want to make sure I
mention from my own experienceis being authentic.
If you saw something they didreally well, make sure you saw
something.
Don't make up something,because, again, you're trying to
build that trust and connectionbetween folks, but what you're
really doing with constructivefeedback is packaging it in a
way for a person to hear it andunderstand it and be able to act
on it.
Let's go to number seven.
(17:17):
Maintain confidentiality withcareful language.
Seven maintain confidentialitywith careful language.
Welcome to my world of humanresources.
Confidentiality right.
So respecting confidentialityinvolves choosing your words
carefully when discussingsensitive information.
Avoid sharing details that arenot yours to share.
Use discretion in your languageto protect privacy, showing
(17:45):
that you can be trusted withimportant information.
This careful handling of wordsreinforces trust and respect
within your team.
Number eight acknowledgemistakes openly.
Admitting mistakes openlyinvolves using honest and humble
language.
So if you make a mistake, talkabout how you plan to fix it.
Own up to it.
Don't deflect blame on someoneelse.
(18:08):
Owning up to errors withstraightforward words shows
accountability on your part andit shows how you have displayed
integrity, and these are verycritical for building trust.
It also sets a positive example.
Right, we're modeling here asleaders, a positive example for
others to follow.
Your mistakes are your bestteachers.
Others to follow your mistakesare your best teachers.
(18:28):
All right.
Number nine encourage opendialogue.
I used to say before in some ofour podcasts provide a place of
safe harbor where people canactually speak openly and
honestly.
So use inclusive and invitinglanguage to foster open dialogue
.
Phrases like what are yourthoughts?
And I'd love to hear yourperspective and actually reach
out and encourage folks to sharetheir ideas and concerns.
Don't wait for them to raisetheir hand.
(18:50):
Call them out in a respectfulway.
The open communication styleshows that you value input and
that you, as a leader, areapproachable, which again helps
build a culture of trust andcollaboration.
John.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
And her last point celebrate success with genuine
praise and I want to underscorethe word genuine, because I've
seen many different applicationsto this concept and genuine is
the key word.
Recognize achievements withsincere and specific words of
praise, instead of a genericcompliment.
Say things like your work onthe X project was outstanding
(19:31):
because of Y.
Genuine and detailed praiseshows appreciation and
reinforces behaviors.
Celebrate success withheartfelt words strengthens
morale and trust, as you showthat you notice their valuable
contributions, and I thinkthat's probably the key for
(19:53):
coming up with praise.
It has to be meaningful andpeople trust me.
Praise is sometimes lost that.
It's assumed as part of yourjob.
It is an important thing thatyou can do to help encourage
people doing the hard work thatthey're doing.
In summary, language makes ushuman.
(20:14):
It's the key that she's tryingto get across in this article.
Words have power.
They invoke thoughts, emotionsand reactions.
Article Words have power.
They invoke thoughts, emotionsand reactions.
Great leaders and communicatorshave a unique ability to use
words to draw others to them.
We hope you take the article toheart and the words that you
(20:35):
use do matter.
But, greg, I think you have anexample of the power of words in
the practical world.
I always found this example isinteresting, so why don't you
tell us about your example ofpower of words?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Thank, you, john.
For about five years I workedfor a company in the print media
industry or newspapers to youguys.
Right, this was long before thedigital age took off and I saw
the power of words firsthand.
The words were our distinctivebusiness difference or our brand
in the marketplace.
Now, it didn't hurt to havegood photography, but remember
(21:11):
things like turning a phrase waxpoetic or coining a phrase.
They still apply today.
Literally, a customer would maketheir newspaper product choice
based on how the words make themfeel, because the headlines
were really the same.
How do we articulate it?
How do we paint a picture foryou with our words, to invite
you and to read our content?
(21:31):
And I also wanted to mentionsomething that happened to me in
the area of tone.
So the power of words and thinkabout tone.
So some years ago I was reallyupset about where the direction
of tone, all right.
So the power of words and thinkabout tone.
So some years ago I was reallyupset about where the direction
of a project that myself and myteam were working on.
It was being recommended for asignificant change and we had
done our due diligence.
(21:52):
We worked hard, had a goodproject plan, things were
falling into place and I wasapproached by hey, I think we're
going to go a differentdirection.
That's pretty rare for those ofyou that know me for me to get
really, really, really upset,but I was so upset I was willing
(22:13):
to fall on my sword in myeffort to convince the powers
that be not to change thedirection of my project.
So I was hopping mad right.
Fortunately, I thought it wiseto touch base with a more senior
member of our leadership teambefore talking to the ultimate
decision maker and the advice Iwas given and he looked me right
in the eye.
He said watch your tone.
I thought what is he talkingabout?
He said don't rethink yourposition, rather watch how your
(22:35):
frustration and disagreementsound with the current tone that
I was projecting and it wassage advice.
I followed it.
I was able to get my pointacross in a professional manner
and we were able to get adesired outcome.
But again, I couldn't hearmyself bubbling over, but he did
and John and I talked about.
Sometimes you got to find thatperson, the guy or gal, to help
(22:56):
you out.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Well, at one time you were my reference on how I was
doing and how I wascommunicating and we were peers
and it's just the whole thingabout being aware and in our
cases, in both of those examples, we knew somebody that we
trusted.
That would give us honestfeedback, which is key to be
(23:21):
able to make sure that you'recoming across correctly.
The words and tone mean so muchand hopefully this podcast
helps you with that.
I want to add one other elementthat I found as an example in
terms of power of words.
A thank you card has atremendous amount of power and
if it's done the right way, itreally does mean something to
(23:43):
the person who receives it.
I've seen different ways of itbeing applied where it's a
mechanical requirement that hasto be done once a week, and even
if your staff is like sixpeople, you have to write a
thank you note and that person'sgoing to get a note every six
weeks or every eight weeks, andI can tell you right now that
(24:04):
has no effect.
It kind of ticks them off, tobe honest.
But if you also get one thankyou card and they don't see that
reflection of actually honestlybeing appreciated, it doesn't
mean anything either If you makea card and you send it to them.
I have seen occasions wherethey have taken my card and they
(24:24):
have put it up on their wall athome.
The words mean something tothem and it means something to
you, and it comes across on thatpiece of paper.
If you do it the right way,they understand a genuine
comment versus something that isflip and just trying to fall in
line with a compliment.
There's a difference on thewords that you've chosen.
(24:45):
Take the time to make a thankyou card.
Mean something to the personreceiving.
You don't need to write anessay or a novel.
You need to send a moment oftime of appreciation, and that
is key.
Can that be powerful, without adoubt.
I would also offer thesuggestion that you should not
send one out and never talk tothat person again, because I can
(25:07):
tell you that that is socounterproductive.
Recognize that person on aregular basis.
Engage with that person.
You've opened the door to thatcommunication.
Never let it close, especiallyif they're doing such an
outstanding job that you arecompelled to send you a thank
you card that says something forthe person that you're talking
to.
(25:29):
So, if you like what you'veheard in this podcast.
Yeah, I've written a book.
It's available on amazoncom.
It's available in Barnes Noble.
It's Building your LeadershipToolbox.
Our podcast is on what you'relistening to, thank you.
It's also available on otherpopular podcast formats like
(25:51):
Apple and Google and Spotify.
A lot of what Greg and I talkabout is from Dr Durst's books
and his MBR program.
That information can be foundon SuccessGrowthAcademycom.
That information can be foundon successgrowthacademycom.
If you want to contact us, youcan contact us at our website,
wwwauthorjawcom.
And the music has been broughtto you by my grandson, so we
(26:13):
want to hear from you.
Send us a note, tell us whatyou think.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
So, greg, thanks, thanks, john, as always next
time.
Hello and welcome to Success Secrets and Stories.
I'm your host, john Wondolowski.
I'm here with my co-host andfriend.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Greg Powell, greg, hey, everybody, yeah, and today,
we're going to talk about aninteresting subject.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
It is words, and words and the words that you use
have a profound impact on yourworkplace, the psychology of how
people receive your information, the significant influence on
your overall environment.
What words you use can affectemployee morale, productivity,
(00:55):
relationships.
And language is becoming, Ithink, far too casual and people
are making too many assumptionsin terms of how they
communicate.
To understand the power oflanguage, to understand what
that means in terms ofleadership and individuals, you
can foster either a positiveenvironment and an inclusive
(01:15):
environment or the very opposite.
I think that's the key.
So, to try to get into it alittle bit, there's a philosophy
of what would be calledpsychological safety and using
words and how you communicate.
It's really kind of shaping asafe space to understand that
(01:36):
you're creating an environmentwhere people can communicate
openly and they can be engagingto promote that kind of open
communication, especially whenwe're dealing with the world
that we're dealing with now andhow people are so siloed or I
don't know, they're not verycautious with how they
communicate.
You have to take the leadershipapproach and not fall into the
(02:00):
trap of poor communication.
Using words and being inclusiveor making sure that they're not
offensive, doesn't take a tonof thought, but it has to be
conscious and sometimes, ifyou're not very aware that your
conversation as a leader isdifferent than what it is with
(02:21):
your friends on a Friday nightat the bowling alley, there's a
significant difference betweenthe two and that's really the
heart of understanding what itis to be in leadership.
Sharing vulnerabilities isalways a questionable mark when
you're dealing with a businessapplication, but understand that
(02:41):
you could be receiving thosekind of inputs and you have to
be careful on when somebody'ssharing something, when they're
vulnerable, what thatcommunication really entails and
your commitment to it.
Another part of the impact ispositive reinforcement and
constructive feedback makingsure that you're helping people
(03:04):
to make the transition andconstructive feedback making
sure that you're helping peopleto make the transition.
I think that the positivereinforcement conversation is so
important right now when you'redealing with people that are
dealing with cutbacks, aredealing with the issues that are
associated with competition.
(03:25):
Whenever there's competitionwithin departments, how you
communicate is really how youreflect and how your team
reflects your wishes, yourapproach, recognizing
achievements, which is beingconscious and being within the
moment, making sure that you'remaking it a positive environment
.
You want to reward people,whether it's nothing more than a
smile and a thank you ortalking about the contributions
(03:46):
to the team.
Those recognitions are veryimportant to create a positive
environment and to avoidnegativity.
Unless you have to make a pointand it has to be corrected
quickly, creating a toxic workenvironment is not that
difficult to achieve.
It's, unfortunately, prettyeasy to achieve and it's really
(04:07):
hard to change.
So those are kind of a startingpoint.
Greg, why don't you pick it upwith the next point?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Thanks, john.
Let's talk about shapingperceptions and behaviors
Language and bias, for instance.
Always be mindful of howlanguage can perpetuate
stereotypes and usually we'retalking about something negative
when we talk about stereotypesor reinforce biases and strive
to use language that isinclusive and respectful of all
employees.
(04:35):
How about the power of words tomotivate?
Words can be used to inspireand motivate employees to
achieve their goals andcontribute to the success of the
company.
The impact of language onrelationships how people get
along the way we speak to ourcolleagues can significantly
impact our relationships withthem.
So it's important to be mindfulof our language and how it
(04:57):
might be perceived.
Practical tips for improvingworkplace communication.
Practical tips for improvingworkplace communication.
Practice active listening.
Pay attention to what othersare saying, both verbally and
non-verbally, and respondthoughtfully and respectfully.
We've talked before aboutreading the room.
That's part of the things thatyou need to do in a situation
(05:24):
like this.
Use I statements.
Express your thoughts andfeelings using I statements
rather than blaming or accusingothers.
Focus on solutions.
I like to call it the pathforward when addressing problems
or conflicts.
Focus on finding solutionsrather than dwelling on the
problem itself.
Be mindful of the tone of yourvoice.
Your tone of voice can convey alot, so be mindful of how you
(05:49):
speak and ensure that your toneis positive and encouraging.
We'll talk more about that in alittle bit, yeah.
And then seek feedback.
I always like to say feedbackis a gift.
Ask for feedback from yourcolleagues and be open to
constructive criticism.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
John, and just the feedback piece of it I think is
kind of interesting.
I've always learned that if youwere to ask a peer that you
trust, some feedback on whatyou're trying to present.
That's something that you'regoing to talk about later.
Having someone that you can useto help see how the message
comes across is a great tool,and it's one of the reasons why
(06:26):
you develop peer friendships, sothat they are in the same boat
as you are trying to make surethat you're doing the best you
can in terms of leading, andhaving that camaraderie is an
important part of being able todo a better job and be a better
leader.
So, in that vein, I also wantedto look for an article that was
(06:52):
going to try to capture this.
At the same time, and from thePeople's Development Magazine,
they have this interestingarticle, watch your Words, which
the full title is Watch yourWords they are more influential
than you think.
It was by Connie Waddell and itwas from March 20th 2021.
And she did a very good job ofputting it a little bit more
(07:15):
detailed.
So let me be very specific interms of her article.
She starts off with wordsmatter.
Smart leaders know that thescrutiny of every word and
action is key as a leader.
Know what you say hasconsequences.
You need to watch your words.
They are extremely influential.
The position, the power, theinfluence comes from
(07:40):
responsibility.
We yearn for leaders that canbuild and believe in and have
that trust.
Let's have a frank conversationabout why you must watch your
words.
We can't read minds.
Leaders want to know what youthink.
We want to know where you arewhen you're talking to us.
(08:02):
We want to know why you makethe decisions and take the
actions that you take and howthat future will affect us.
How you present your ideas,persuade us and either follow or
resist.
Accordingly, most of us are inthe circle of friends or
influence.
One of the ways that you canunderstand what we're thinking
(08:27):
is by paying attention to whatyou write and what you say.
That's the implied.
That words really matter to us.
Turn us into believers is ournext point.
You need to prove to us thatyou're trustworthy.
We are skeptical of yourleadership.
Before you open your mouth orhit the send button or use your
(08:51):
mobile device, please check yourfax.
I'd say also check yourspelling.
Comes out of your mouth.
You can't take it back.
It's said yes, you can spinthat message later or apologize
for the misstatement, but youown it each time you do it.
(09:12):
We connect with people who webelieve are credible.
We follow leaders who we trust.
Stephen Coveney gave us apractical model of credibility.
We look at all four of thesecharacteristics to determine if
a leader is credible Integrity,intent, capability and results.
(09:32):
We will assist you with yourcharacter and, whether we like
it or not, in terms of howyou're coming across with the
words that you use and when welook into it as far as a deeper
understanding, your integrityand your intent are key and what
it has to say about us in termsof visibility and clarity to
(09:54):
both the listener and the personspeaking.
Silence is acceptance.
I'm going to put a star on thatone.
If you don't respond, thenyou're implying that you're
accepting.
We elevate leaders by what theysay.
We evaluate leaders by whatthey don't say.
(10:15):
It troubles us when we do notcall out the bad performance or
behavior.
If my co-worker's performanceis below standards and you fail
to address it, we think thatyou're either showing favoritism
, a hypocrite or a coward.
We hold leaders to a highstandard and we want you to live
(10:38):
up to it.
We hold leaders to a highstandard and we want you to live
up to it.
To my point about this article,it was very close to the things
that I've heard in my past andI think it was very well written
.
Greg, why don't you take us tothe next step?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Thanks, john.
In the continuation of Wordshave Power.
Be careful of your timing andtone.
Words can instantly inspire,inform and tone.
Words can instantly inspire,inform and motivate.
They can also explain, upset,scare or divide people.
Words matter, so do when and howyou deliver your message.
We recognize it is difficultfor you to determine the right
time to comment on reallydifficult issues.
However, in the absence of yourstatements, we make up stories
(11:18):
in our own heads.
Science tells us that once wemake up our minds, it's pretty
hard to move us in a differentdirection.
Your tone is important.
We want to believe you aresincere and that you mean what
you say.
We see mixed messages when yourtone and your words do not
match.
The tone circles back to yourcredibility and believability.
(11:42):
So let's talk about 10 ways towatch your words and communicate
effectively.
Unlocking the 10 strategies toimprove communication skills.
Paying attention to the wordsyou use is critical.
Here we set out 10 ways towatch your words and communicate
more effectively.
The first one communicateclearly and concisely.
(12:06):
Using clear and conciselanguage is essential for
avoiding misunderstandings andensuring that your message is
effectively received.
Avoid jargon and overly complexsentences.
Instead, choose simple wordsthat convey your meaning
directly to the folks listening.
If you do that, you showrespect for your audience's time
(12:28):
intelligence and you enhancethat thing we call trust.
Precision in language minimizesthe risk of misinterpretation
or making your communicationmore reliable and trustworthy.
The second one be honest andtransparent.
Your words should alwaysreflect honesty and transparency
(12:49):
.
Avoid euphemisms orsugarcoating difficult news.
That helps in buildingcredibility.
When you openly share thereasons behind your decisions
and the challenges you face, youfoster an environment of trust.
Transparent communicationdemonstrates that you're
reliable and willing to be open,which strengthens the trust of
(13:11):
your team and stakeholders.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
John.
The next point, number three, Ithink is really interesting
because it's something that I'vealso talked about a lot
Listening actively andresponding thoughtfully.
Active listening is not justhearing words, but understanding
the intent and emotion behindthem.
(13:34):
Responding thoughtfully, usingwords that show that you have
fully comprehended the message.
Those are key.
I will also throw in a littleeditorial commentary.
You don't have to answerquickly.
Silence gives you the abilityto maybe capture some thoughts.
(13:55):
She goes on to say paraphrasewhat you've heard to confirm
that you have an understandingand ask qualifying questions.
This approach shows respect,validation and making others
feel valued in building astronger trust.
Show empathy in your language,and this one can be a challenge.
(14:18):
Empathy as a communicationmeans choosing words that convey
understanding and compassion,acknowledgement of emotions and
the perceptions of your teamwith phrases like I understand
how you feel or I see why thisis important to you.
Using empathetic language helpsto build a connection and show
that you care about thewell-being which is essential
(14:41):
for trust.
I can tell you from some of ourprevious podcasts that we
talked about they're not lookingto be sorry for the person that
you're in the conversation with.
You're looking to empathizewith them and try to help them
look into options to workthrough the problem if they
engage you in that conversation.
(15:07):
The next point be consistent inyour message.
Consistency in your words.
Ensure that the team and thestakeholders know what is
expected from you.
Avoid contradicting yourself,as this can breed confusion and
mistrust.
Whether it's in an email ormeetings or a casual
conversation, maintain the sametone and messaging.
Consistency reinforcesreliability and trustworthiness,
(15:28):
showing that you stand by thewords that you've chosen.
Next, I think is an importantpiece that Greg and I both feel
is important Ask forconstructive feedback.
When offering feedback, yourwords should be aimed to build,
not break.
Focus on the specific behaviorsand outcomes rather than the
(15:50):
personal attributes, and frameyour feedback in a way that
encourages improvement.
Phrases like I noticed you didX and think if you did Y, it
would improve that.
Are there more constructiveways to try to approach the
problem?
By trying to push that ifstatement, I think is an
(16:13):
important element.
This approach ensures thatfeedback is received positively
and supports the trust-buildingenvironment.
But we've had and heard thesekinds of conversations.
If they're trying to ask forcorrective, greg, what's what's
the ever famous quote?
Feedback is a gift.
Okay, so the humor I've alwayshad whenever I've heard people
(16:36):
talk about constructive feedbackis an old HR technique that
I've heard.
It's you know like start outthe conversation with a good
thought, give them the bad newsand then end with a happy
thought.
They sometimes get confused.
What happened to the negativefeedback?
You've heard of this beforeright, absolutely, john.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
And one of the things that I want to make sure I
mention from my own experienceis being authentic.
If you saw something they didreally well, make sure you saw
something.
Don't make up something,because, again, you're trying to
build that trust and connectionbetween folks, but what you're
really doing with constructivefeedback is packaging it in a
way for a person to hear it andunderstand it and be able to act
on it.
Let's go to number seven.
(17:17):
Maintain confidentiality withcareful language.
Seven maintain confidentialitywith careful language.
Welcome to my world of humanresources.
Confidentiality right.
So respecting confidentialityinvolves choosing your words
carefully when discussingsensitive information.
Avoid sharing details that arenot yours to share.
Use discretion in your languageto protect privacy, showing
(17:45):
that you can be trusted withimportant information.
This careful handling of wordsreinforces trust and respect
within your team.
Number eight acknowledgemistakes openly.
Admitting mistakes openlyinvolves using honest and humble
language.
So if you make a mistake, talkabout how you plan to fix it.
Own up to it.
Don't deflect blame on someoneelse.
(18:08):
Owning up to errors withstraightforward words shows
accountability on your part andit shows how you have displayed
integrity, and these are verycritical for building trust.
It also sets a positive example.
Right, we're modeling here asleaders, a positive example for
others to follow.
Your mistakes are your bestteachers.
Others to follow your mistakesare your best teachers.
(18:28):
All right.
Number nine encourage opendialogue.
I used to say before in some ofour podcasts provide a place of
safe harbor where people canactually speak openly and
honestly.
So use inclusive and invitinglanguage to foster open dialogue
.
Phrases like what are yourthoughts?
And I'd love to hear yourperspective and actually reach
out and encourage folks to sharetheir ideas and concerns.
Don't wait for them to raisetheir hand.
(18:50):
Call them out in a respectfulway.
The open communication styleshows that you value input and
that you, as a leader, areapproachable, which again helps
build a culture of trust andcollaboration.
John.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
And her last point celebrate success with genuine
praise and I want to underscorethe word genuine, because I've
seen many different applicationsto this concept and genuine is
the key word.
Recognize achievements withsincere and specific words of
praise, instead of a genericcompliment.
Say things like your work onthe X project was outstanding
(19:31):
because of Y.
Genuine and detailed praiseshows appreciation and
reinforces behaviors.
Celebrate success withheartfelt words strengthens
morale and trust, as you showthat you notice their valuable
contributions, and I thinkthat's probably the key for
(19:53):
coming up with praise.
It has to be meaningful andpeople trust me.
Praise is sometimes lost that.
It's assumed as part of yourjob.
It is an important thing thatyou can do to help encourage
people doing the hard work thatthey're doing.
In summary, language makes ushuman.
(20:14):
It's the key that she's tryingto get across in this article.
Words have power.
They invoke thoughts, emotionsand reactions.
Article Words have power.
They invoke thoughts, emotionsand reactions.
Great leaders and communicatorshave a unique ability to use
words to draw others to them.
We hope you take the article toheart and the words that you
(20:35):
use do matter.
But, greg, I think you have anexample of the power of words in
the practical world.
I always found this example isinteresting, so why don't you
tell us about your example ofpower of words?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Thank, you, john.
For about five years I workedfor a company in the print media
industry or newspapers to youguys.
Right, this was long before thedigital age took off and I saw
the power of words firsthand.
The words were our distinctivebusiness difference or our brand
in the marketplace.
Now, it didn't hurt to havegood photography, but remember
(21:11):
things like turning a phrase waxpoetic or coining a phrase.
They still apply today.
Literally, a customer would maketheir newspaper product choice
based on how the words make themfeel, because the headlines
were really the same.
How do we articulate it?
How do we paint a picture foryou with our words, to invite
you and to read our content?
(21:31):
And I also wanted to mentionsomething that happened to me in
the area of tone.
So the power of words and thinkabout tone.
So some years ago I was reallyupset about where the direction
of tone, all right.
So the power of words and thinkabout tone.
So some years ago I was reallyupset about where the direction
of a project that myself and myteam were working on.
It was being recommended for asignificant change and we had
done our due diligence.
(21:52):
We worked hard, had a goodproject plan, things were
falling into place and I wasapproached by hey, I think we're
going to go a differentdirection.
That's pretty rare for those ofyou that know me for me to get
really, really, really upset,but I was so upset I was willing
(22:13):
to fall on my sword in myeffort to convince the powers
that be not to change thedirection of my project.
So I was hopping mad right.
Fortunately, I thought it wiseto touch base with a more senior
member of our leadership teambefore talking to the ultimate
decision maker and the advice Iwas given and he looked me right
in the eye.
He said watch your tone.
I thought what is he talkingabout?
He said don't rethink yourposition, rather watch how your
(22:35):
frustration and disagreementsound with the current tone that
I was projecting and it wassage advice.
I followed it.
I was able to get my pointacross in a professional manner
and we were able to get adesired outcome.
But again, I couldn't hearmyself bubbling over, but he did
and John and I talked about.
Sometimes you got to find thatperson, the guy or gal, to help
(22:56):
you out.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Well, at one time you were my reference on how I was
doing and how I wascommunicating and we were peers
and it's just the whole thingabout being aware and in our
cases, in both of those examples, we knew somebody that we
trusted.
That would give us honestfeedback, which is key to be
(23:21):
able to make sure that you'recoming across correctly.
The words and tone mean so muchand hopefully this podcast
helps you with that.
I want to add one other elementthat I found as an example in
terms of power of words.
A thank you card has atremendous amount of power and
if it's done the right way, itreally does mean something to
(23:43):
the person who receives it.
I've seen different ways of itbeing applied where it's a
mechanical requirement that hasto be done once a week, and even
if your staff is like sixpeople, you have to write a
thank you note and that person'sgoing to get a note every six
weeks or every eight weeks, andI can tell you right now that
(24:04):
has no effect.
It kind of ticks them off, tobe honest.
But if you also get one thankyou card and they don't see that
reflection of actually honestlybeing appreciated, it doesn't
mean anything either If you makea card and you send it to them.
I have seen occasions wherethey have taken my card and they
(24:24):
have put it up on their wall athome.
The words mean something tothem and it means something to
you, and it comes across on thatpiece of paper.
If you do it the right way,they understand a genuine
comment versus something that isflip and just trying to fall in
line with a compliment.
There's a difference on thewords that you've chosen.
(24:45):
Take the time to make a thankyou card.
Mean something to the personreceiving.
You don't need to write anessay or a novel.
You need to send a moment oftime of appreciation, and that
is key.
Can that be powerful, without adoubt.
I would also offer thesuggestion that you should not
send one out and never talk tothat person again, because I can
(25:07):
tell you that that is socounterproductive.
Recognize that person on aregular basis.
Engage with that person.
You've opened the door to thatcommunication.
Never let it close, especiallyif they're doing such an
outstanding job that you arecompelled to send you a thank
you card that says something forthe person that you're talking
to.
(25:29):
So, if you like what you'veheard in this podcast.
Yeah, I've written a book.
It's available on amazoncom.
It's available in Barnes Noble.
It's Building your LeadershipToolbox.
Our podcast is on what you'relistening to, thank you.
It's also available on otherpopular podcast formats like
(25:51):
Apple and Google and Spotify.
A lot of what Greg and I talkabout is from Dr Durst's books
and his MBR program.
That information can be foundon SuccessGrowthAcademycom.
That information can be foundon successgrowthacademycom.
If you want to contact us, youcan contact us at our website,
wwwauthorjawcom.
And the music has been broughtto you by my grandson, so we
(26:13):
want to hear from you.
Send us a note, tell us whatyou think.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
So, greg, thanks, thanks, john, as always next
time.
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