November 7, 2022 • 48 mins
The Best of Season 6 is here! Top stories, insights, and tips from experts in health, happiness, mindset, mental health, and more!
Sonia Jhas (3:07) - Learn how to deeply define health and wellness for yourself apart from societal and cultural conditioning
Craig Weller - (8:13) Learn how to innoculate yourself from fear and other elite mindset tools used by elite special forces
John Coyle - (13:43) Expert in our perception of time and how to live life richly and fully
Michael Bauman - (17:00) How to define deep success...
Michael Bauman - (21:43) How to overcome Impostor Syndrome and Limiting Beliefs
John Helliwell (25:10) Editor of World Happiness Report, How to be Happy...
Brian Levenson - (29:32) Difference between Preparation and Performance Mindset
Joe Sanok - (32:20) 4-Day Work Week, Optimizing Productivity, and Neural Syncing
Peter Sage - (35:17) 6 Months in the most violent prison in the UK, power of mindset
Krista Scott Dixon - (38:34) Masterclass on mental health...
Lettie Gore - (42:52) Black historian and racial justice educator
Luke Tyburski - (44:51) Ultra-endurance athlete, unseen mental health struggles
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Michael Bauman (00:01):
Hello everybody.
Welcome back to SuccessEngineering.
This is the best of episode forseason six, so we will be
highlighting the most memorablestories, the tips, the insights
from each of our guests in thisseason.
So this is such a great episodeto listen to as it provides a
teaser for a lot of theseguests.
And if there's ones that youmissed along the way that sound
(00:22):
interesting, it makes you easyto go back and revisit them.
So some of you longtimelisteners may be wondering why
I'm finishing the season now asI usually end it in December.
So, very perceptive of you.
There's a couple reasons why I'mdoing this.
So first off, I just, I recentlyhad ACL surgery after I, I tore
my ACL playing soccer andneedless to say, the past couple
(00:45):
weeks have been pretty painful.
And my rehab is taking up moretime than I expected.
So I just wanna make sure I'mprioritize prioritizing myself
and my recovery during thistime.
Obviously that's important.
Secondly, I have a lot ofexciting things that I'm working
on right now with my business.
I'm upgrading a lot of thingsfor the new year, so this is
everything.
Wrapping up, multiple, Coachingcertifications to continue to
(01:07):
learn, provide highest value formy clients to upgrading my
social media presence, contentcreation, all that kind of
stuff.
So, needless to say, there's alot going on right now, and I
just wanna make sure I amproviding the best quality I can
with the podcast and the contentI create.
And then thirdly, and this tiesin with the second reason, but
this time of year, I do a lot ofreflection, as I know a lot of
(01:28):
you do, and kind of evaluating,you know, where I'm headed, what
I want to do, my goals, what Iwanna accomplish.
So taking this time to pull backand kind of slow down a little
bit along with spending moretime with family and refocusing,
reprioritizing really helps meput my best foot forward heading
into the new year.
So that's why I'm ending thisseason a little early.
(01:50):
I hope you enjoyed it and got asmuch out of it as I did.
Every single guest upgrades mylife in some way.
Through the insights they have,wisdom, different perspectives I
gave from them.
And I if you haven't gotten yourcopy of number one Amazon
International Best Seller, PeakPerformance Mindset Tools for
Entrepreneurs, you can go toAmazon.
(02:11):
I was a contributing author to achapter in that, so you can go
to Amazon to pick that up.
My chapter was all about how wecan truly feel enough in every
area of our life.
Something that, you know, I'veworked on and I know a lot of, a
lot of the listeners and stuffwork on, on a daily basis.
So I'll put the link to that inthe show notes.
So, alright, let's, let's jumpback in time.
(02:31):
Let's revisit these amazingguests that we had on this past
season and get a refresher onhow we can keep engineering our
success.
So we kicked off this seasonwith our month on physical
health in July, and our firstguest was Sonia Jhas.
She's a powerhouse figure in thehealth and fitness space, who
shares her own journey withdisordered eating, with body
(02:52):
image, how cultural and societynorms shape how we, you know,
define beauty.
Really diving into how we candefine what true health and
wellness is for ourselves.
So excellent episode.
Give it a listen.
Sonia Jhas (03:07):
I was nine years old.
I was in grade four.
Some math class teacher wastalking, I was loosely paying
attention.
And I remember looking down andhaving this thought for a moment
where I was like, oh God, yourstomach is totally round! It's
not flat.
Why is it doing that?
(03:28):
And I proceeded to spend therest of my math class, trying to
figure out if there was a wayfor me to suck in my stomach, do
that while still being able tobreathe so that I could visually
look thinner without actuallybeing thinner.
if I can't actually change mybody, maybe I can fake it and
(03:52):
maybe faking it is the same.
And I think these moments, thesesmall little moments of me
convincing myself that faking itwas the same as I don't even
want to say making it, but thatit was the same as living
authentically.
I think that was been a themethat carried over in so many
different facets, right?
(04:12):
It was about my body.
It was about school.
It was about hair.
It was about aesthetics.
It bled into so many differentareas, but I think the seed was
the same, right.
There was this expectationaround what I'm supposed to look
like, what my body compositionis supposed to look like.
And I felt rather desperate toachieve it even at such a young
(04:33):
age.
You look in the mirror everymorning and you pick apart every
part of your body, you areconsistently on the hamster
wheel of weight loss.
You are either eating enough fora village to get it in so that
then you can fix yourself bypunishing yourself later and
going into extreme deprivation.
I think for the first time I wasready to call myself out.
(04:54):
I think for the first time I wasactually able to be like, you
can do whatever else you want,but until you can find some
version of alignment and harmonywith you and your body, you're
going to continue chasing jobafter job, when the crux of the
issue is your self-worth.
(05:16):
I think for me, one of thebiggest aha moments that I had
for myself, which is it is nevergoing to be static.
I am never going to arrive atthe destination.
There is no destination that I'mgoing to be able to hold on to
and then be like, well, yeah,did good.
There we go.
We just unpack here.
Because mentally I'm going to befluid, physically I'm going to
be fluid, and so I thinkabandoning the idea of the
(05:40):
destination being where did thehappy people live, both
physically and mentally.
I think that was the opening ofa different journey and has been
the journey that has continuedsince then where you're allowed
to ebb and flow.
The biggest piece of theequation for everybody, it's
what do you want wellness tofeel like?
(06:01):
Forget about what you wantwellness to look like, but what
do you want it to feel like?
And then the question is, whatchoices are you going to make to
actually make that happen sothat you can be living in
alignment?
Because how often are weoverriding how we feel?
How often are we tellingourselves stories about who we
(06:25):
are, who we were, who we couldbe that are driving our
behaviors and we're in autopilotmode and we are racing.
I don't know where, but we'reall racing.
It's the mindset piece that'seither going to make the journey
exceptionally painful or it'sgoing to be one that opens up
the potential for your life.
Michael Bauman (06:45):
I just love how she defined the fluidity of the
destination and really askingourselves what would wellness
and health feel like?
Rather than getting caught up onthe shame treadmill of our body,
never meeting up to someoftentimes unattainable goal.
And as you guys know, I'm allabout, you know, what success
feels like and how we can unpackthat and unpack the, the
(07:06):
narratives, the stories andstuff that underlie it.
And so July my book, the AmazonInternational Bestseller, Peak
Performance Mindset Tools forEntrepreneurs that I contributed
chapter to it launched and I hadamazing time exploring some of
the areas of West China, so theTibetan areas of West China with
my family during that month.
So lots of yaks out there, justunbelievable vistas, mountains
(07:30):
and stunning stars.
It was a, it was an amazingmonth.
A lot going on.
but the other guest that we hadthat month was Craig Weller.
So he's a previous special forceoperator who was actually on an
ambassador protection unit inBaghdad among a number of other
very dangerous places who nowtrains people to pass the elite
(07:50):
special force selection testwith a 90% success rate, which
is unheard of because there'stypically a 10%.
For those selection tests.
So the entire episode is crampedwith actionable mindset tools
taken from the best of the bestthat you can implement in your
life right away.
It, it's extraordinary.
(08:12):
I'd highly recommend it.
Craig Weller (08:13):
In selection, there's no positive feedback.
The goal posts constantly moveand it doesn't matter how fast
you just were because the nextthing is gonna suck anyway.
You're basically playing for atie the whole time.
You can't win.
You can't perform your way outof being cold, wet, and sandy.
You're sleep deprived.
You're going to have to sufferno matter how good you are.
So if people don't embraceeffort and struggle as a
(08:37):
necessary part of the processand see that failure as an
opportunity to learn and becomebetter they're probably not
gonna make it very far at all.
An internal locus of control isan extremely important thing.
Which means you view yourself asan active participant in the
world.
You're not a passive bystander.
(08:58):
The world doesn't happen to you.
You're responsible for your ownpath and what you're doing, and
you don't need externalmotivation to get you through
what you're doing.
When no one's telling you howgood you are, or trying to
motivate you and tell you to tryharder and keep going or
whatever.
When the only voice left that istelling you to keep going is the
(09:21):
one in your own head.
Some people have not developedthat and they need that external
encouragement.
You won't have that there.
The only thing left is your ownvoice.
You'd have to look atmindfulness or self-awareness,
the ability to monitor your owninternal dialogue, your own
emotional state and gain anunderstanding of how your
reacting or responding to theexternal world.
(09:44):
So gain a monitoring sense ofself and an experiencing sense
of self so that you can see thisis happening and this is how I'm
responding to it.
And this is how I'm thinkingabout how I respond to it.
And once you have that selfawareness or you're capable of
that, it's called self distanceperspective, taking from there,
you can start consciouslymanaging your self talk as a
(10:04):
feedback loop where you know,that certain things are going to
be toxic and certain things aregoing to be beneficial.
So it starts with being aware ofyour self talk and your
emotional states and yourability to regulate them and
then controlling your self talkbecause you can't directly
control your emotional states,but you can control your
thoughts to some extent.
(10:25):
You can at least redirect them.
And thoughts make feelingseventually.
The feelings that we have aren'tthe direct result of an event.
They're the result of how weinterpret that event, the story
that we tell ourselves about it.
So you can learn to tellyourself a better story in the
face of these different events.
And then you apply that throughincreasingly difficult or
(10:48):
stressful situations.
Like you referenced, the stressinoculation thing.
It's basically that where atfirst you learn or master this
skill in a low complexity, likea simple, easy non stress
setting.
Just the ability to sit there.
And sense into your ownemotional state, the physical
sensations in your body, whatyour self talk is, and then
(11:09):
eventually regulate those thingslike steer the direction of your
self talk, change your internaldialogue, if it drifts in an
undesirable direction and to dothat, just sitting in your
living room or whatever, like inan easy environment.
And then as you go throughtraining, you start doing that
in progressively morechallenging setting.
So you're taking the same skillthat you mastered in a low
(11:29):
stress setting.
Like the ability to regulateyour self talk and your internal
dialogue.
And then you're doing that whileyou're a little bit more
miserable and a little bit moremiserable, and you do things
that make it harder and harderto do that.
Something that I've seen withthe special ops people I've
worked with and people I'vecoached over 20 years almost is
that comfort and happinessrarely exist at the same time.
(11:51):
Usually if we look back at themoments in which we felt the
most happiness or the most joyin what we were doing it
probably was not a time when wewere extremely comfortable.
And in a lot of cases, we'retrading one for the other.
And I think it's really commonfor people to trade happiness in
(12:12):
exchange for comfort.
They give up some amount ofhappiness.
They give up some amount offulfillment a sense of
engagement with their life inorder to remain comfortable.
And eventually people can buildthemselves a nest that becomes a
trap where you have a lot ofcomfort, but you don't have a
lot of happiness.
And I think it's important to beaware of that trade that often
(12:34):
they have to be exchanged andthat if you're trying to do more
fulfilling things in your life,if you're trying to put more
days between the years and havethings that you'll look back on
and really cherish you mighthave to give up some comfort to
do that.
Michael Bauman (12:50):
I learned so much about how we can handle
fear and stress.
I love the stress inoculation orfear inoculation framework.
I've started to use that with myclients, along with how our
comfort and happiness rarely gotogether and how we can
intentionally choose to tradeone for the other.
So good.
Excellent, excellent.
Stuff.
So in August we shifted ourfocus to what makes us.
(13:13):
And our first guess was JohnCoyle.
He's a former Olympic silvermedalist speed skater, currently
an expert in chron deception,which is how we perceive time,
how we store our memories.
He has some excellent tips forhow you can actually lengthen
out your years and your life byfilling them with activities
that specifically expand ourperception of time.
(13:36):
And I've actually startedplanning my calendar using the
advice he gave to live morefully and richly, and I know
you'll get a lot from this.
John Coyle (13:43):
Success is leveraging my time on this
planet to create the mostmemorable moments possible, such
that I slow stop and reverse theperceived acceleration of time
that most adults feel, andexperience the endless summers
of my youth, again.
If you think about the way yourlife is constructed, the brain
constructs time and moments.
(14:03):
You can't store more than sevenseconds.
Normally you're storing abouttwo seconds worth of data.
That's what you and I are doingright now in a comfortable
setting.
But when things get crazy,anxious, risky, the brain fires
up and it starts storingmemories at 10 to 20 times per
second.
This is why things seem to slowdown in a car crash.
When you're about to ask thatgirl out, this is when your
(14:25):
brain is on fire, and these arethe moments that change the
trajectory of your life.
The six ways (14:31):
risk, emotional intensity associated with risk,
physical intensity is notrequired, but usually is
helpful, beauty, beautifulthings.
Uniqueness is just new.
And then the sixth and the themultiplying factor here is the
flow state.
So if you are in the flow state,which is the peak performance
(14:53):
zone, the zone, in your bestself, then that multiplies your
30 X amygdala driven memorywriting by five X.
So now you're got 150 times anormal, boring day writing.
And so you're literally, andthis is no joke.
You're literally living 150times longer.
(15:13):
So if you're gonna live 50 moreyears, you could live 50 more
years or you could live like 10because time is slowing down.
Or if you're like me, you'reliterally gonna live 2000 more
years.
I'm 20 years into 2022.
It's no joke.
Because I'm living all the wayup.
I'm stacking these six thingsall the time when I can This is
(15:33):
the amazing thing.
If you can multiply time by1500.
You only need a couple ofmoments a year to create the
kind of things where there'sbefore and after and where you
know, where you were and whatyou did and that sort of thing.
So design three, five, I shootfor 10 moments a year that are.
(15:54):
Truly compellingly different.
So the three things.
Broad deep and highly recallablememories, broad meaning there's
a lot of information, deepmeaning it's intense and highly
recallable meaning that you canfind it.
Those three things.
That's a success in life as faras I'm concerned.
Michael Bauman (16:13):
So what activities can you put in your
life that involve emotionalintensity, physical intensity
effort, beauty.
Something that's unique,something that's new and flow
state that actually can justchange up your routine, change
things up, make your life morememorable for yourself and for
the people around you.
An excellent question to askyourself.
(16:33):
So then after that episode, Ishared a kind of sneak peek into
the Mastermind that I run with aframework that I use for
defining deep success in ourlives and actually unpacking the
layers of success that mostpeople.
Which is what leaves themfeeling not enough or empty,
even if their life is full ofall the external trappings of
(16:53):
success.
So here, I'm gonna break down acouple of those things and you
can go back and listen to theepisode if you want to hear the
full thing.
Fundamentally how we definesuccess is about what we desire.
In this episode, I wanna reallyunpack how we go about defining
success.
I wanna begin with looking atwhat deep success is.
(17:16):
So what most people don'trealize is there are actually
layers to our definition ofsuccess.
This is why people can achievean extraordinary amount and
still be left feeling empty.
Because while they may have metthe criteria for the upper
levels of success, they're stillmissing, understanding and
(17:36):
meeting the deeper levels ofwhat true success is.
So let me lay out what thesedifferent layers of success are
to give you an idea of what I'mtalking about.
So the first layer is theappearance of success.
And this is what we see oneverybody's Instagrams, tiktok,
any social media.
These are also the people thatwe typically put on pedestals.
(17:59):
So the ones who've achievedsuccess.
It could be your actors, themillionaire CEOs, the sports
stars, the rock stars, whateverit is, we look at their life and
we see success, quote unquote.
We see people who have made it.
And we calibrate our definitionof success to their appearance
(18:23):
of success.
And this distinction becomesvery, very important because it
is actually an appearance ofsuccess.
There is no correlation betweenwhat appears to be a success and
what actually feels like asuccess on a daily basis.
(18:45):
the next layer of success, whichis the feeling of success.
Underneath all of the appearanceof success that people have
actually lies the question, howcan I feel like a success in
every area of my life?
I have found that there is alink, especially for
(19:05):
entrepreneurs with feeling likea success and feeling enough, so
much so that sometimes I usethese two interchangeably.
Success is an ever changingadjustment to circumstances and
the life stages that we findourself in.
So it's important to continue toask these questions, continue to
(19:25):
refine, continue to tweak, makeadjustments to our life.
So no matter what happens, wecan be showing up as the most
authentic, integrated version ofourselves.
Even if that authenticity andintegration shifts over time.
So feelings, as we all know,they can be very fickle.
We need to dig behind thesefeelings and emotions into our
(19:50):
true values that we hold.
The stories that we tell aboutourselves, about the world, the
people around it and theidentities that we've actually
built.
These stories dictate not onlyhow we feel, but everything from
how we fundamentally perceivethe world, how we interact with
(20:12):
the world.
And the stories vary bycircumstance by the environment
by the people were inrelationship to.
And so, to unpack this area ofsuccess to really start to look
at these stories, to look at theidentities that we have.
And this brings us to the fourthlevel of success.
(20:35):
So underneath all of our storiesunderneath the identities that
we tell ourselves really isbeing present and being aware
with the moment that we haveright in front of us What if
being successful really had todo with how present are we able
to be with every moment that weare given in our days in our
(20:58):
lives.
I feel this is one of the mostvaluable gifts that we can give
to both to ourselves, but alsoto every single person that we
interact with in our lives.
I followed that up with anothersneak peak episode about how we
can overcome imposter syndromeand deconstruct our limiting
(21:18):
beliefs and self-sabotage withthe incredible work done by Sure
that Jamin and positiveintelligence.
It's really seminal work done inthis field, and again, highly
recommend everything, but Iwould definitely recommend
listening to it because you canlearn about your own personal
saboteurs and what affects youand how it affects you, and then
(21:39):
you can learn some things thatyou can do to actually start
overcoming that.
What has just been fascinatingto me for a very long time is we
have the traditional definitionof success and we have
happiness.
And can we get both is thequestion.
Can we achieve the success thatwe want on one hand?
And what does that look like?
(22:00):
And how can we intentionallydefine that?
But can we also be happy?
Can we develop a life that welive very fulfilled and very
happily and full of purpose onthe other hand?
So we've all been there.
We've had a dream, we've had agoal that we wanted to do.
And then we all kind of sabotageourselves differently, but you
know, we really wanna achieveit.
(22:20):
And then when it gets to thatpoint where we take action or we
don't, somehow we talk ourselvesout of it or we navigate around
it whatever that looks like forus, somehow we sabotage
ourselves.
So I'm gonna talk about all theresearch around how we actually
overcome these limiting beliefsand how we train to do things
(22:42):
differently.
So again, this is incredibleseminal work developed by
Shirzad Chamine and you can readabout it in his book, Positive
Intelligence why 20% of teamsand people succeed, and 80%
don't.
Phenomenal book, I would again,highly recommend it.
there's actually three coremental muscles.
(23:04):
And the terminology use is veryspecific with that because these
are things we can develop andtrain, but there's three things
that are responsible for all therest of the peak performance and
happiness.
it comes down to our ability tobe aware of our saboteurs, the
things that sabotage us Then theability to command ourselves to
(23:26):
do a different response.
And we have those saboteurs.
Then we have our Sage responses,which is the foundation of
emotional intelligence, itactually operates in a different
part of the brain.
That's actually associated withcreativity and empathy and
curiosity.
what positive intelligence is ata very simple level is basically
(23:48):
we have different regions of ourbrain and what percentage of our
day, do we spend with our brainactually helping us and
supporting us and encouraging usversus detracting versus
sabotaging us.
Positive intelligence is.
What percentage of your day isyour brain your friend versus
being your enemy?
(24:08):
mental fitness is similar, butslightly different.
Basically it is your capacity torespond to life's challenges
with positive, rather than anegative mindset.
Mental fitness is training to beable to operate from a higher
level of positive intelligence.
At the end of the month, I hadthe incredible privilege of
(24:29):
interviewing John Helliwell.
He's the editor of the WorldHappiness Report.
I would highly recommend youcheck out this report.
Not only does it list 153countries by their happiness
levels, it it break you.
If you break it down evendeeper, you can see that there's
actually six categories that the10 years of data have shown to
contribute, that contribute themost to overall happiness and
(24:51):
life evaluation levels brokendown by these countries.
And then it goes into someincredible new research around
genetics, how that affects ourhappiness a whole lot more.
We definitely ran out of timebefore we ran out things to talk
about with this interview.
It was very eye-opening andagain, I, I would definitely
recommend you check.
John Helliwell (25:10):
Our rankings of countries are based on the
average values of people'sanswer to a question.
And then we average'em overthree years to get a sample size
of roughly 3000 per country.
To that doesn't jump around forsample size reasons too much
from year.
A question asking people tothink about their lives as a
whole, with the best possiblelife as a 10, and the worst is a
(25:32):
zero.
How would they rate their lifetoday?
And of course we found quitequickly on.
That these averages differhugely around the world from
averages up close to eight insome countries and down below
three in some other countries.
And they go up and downaccording to how life really is
in different countries.
we have a choice of variables weuse and the ones that continue
(25:56):
to have broad support year afteryear that two first are obvious
of income per capita and healthylife expectancy.
Because they've been the polesfor assessing the quality of
development efforts for decadesor longer.
The variables that you mentionedearlier is having a social
connection contain a variety ofchannels.
(26:19):
But between them, they cover alot of the important aspects of
life.
The first and most important isyou have someone to count on in
times of trouble.
It's not the only way ofmeasuring your personal support
networks, but it's a good way.
So across country, it's just thefrequency of people who have
somebody to count on Another oneis the extent to which people
(26:39):
think corruption is a problem ingovernment and industry,
separate questions.
We take the average of the twoin their country.
And then we ask people, to whatextent do you have a sense of
freedom to make your key lifedecisions that was discovered in
this strand of earlier researchand turned out to be very
powerful and continues to bevery powerful.
(27:01):
And then we have benevolence andthe measure that's used in the
report, or have you given tocharity in the last month, the
variety of other measures thatdo roughly as well.
And people are happier living insocieties where everyone is
generous.
They're not only happier beinggenerous themselves, but they're
(27:21):
happy when they're living inthat kind of environment.
you could imagine dystopia isthe adverse of utopia and utopia
would be where everything wasfor the best dystopia is where
everything is for the worst.
And why did we even think aboutthat in a World Happiness
Report?
It's because we wanted a waywhen we're showing that key
(27:42):
chart, which gives the overallscore for each country, and then
how much is contributed by eachof the six variables.
In order for each contributionto be positive, it has to be
positive to some zero baseline.
Well, what we use as the zerobaseline for each of those
(28:02):
variables is the country in thesample that has the lowest
value.
So one country's lowest forfreedom and other's lowest for
GDPper capita,, and other islowest for health.
We define dystopia as thecountry that has the lowest.
It isn't a real country, ofcourse.
That would have the world'slowest values of all those six
(28:23):
variables.
Michael Bauman (28:23):
So some excellent stuff.
Definitely check out the WorldHappiness Report.
I know you'll gain insight andperspective both into your own
personal happiness, but also thesocietal, societal and macro for
forces that affect happiness ona global scale as well.
So in September we shifted toeverything about our mindset,
about productivity, how welearn.
(28:44):
We began it with a conversationwith Brian Levenson he's an
elite sports psychologist, anexecutive coach who wrote
incredible book called ShiftYour Mind, which highlights the
difference in mindset that weactually need to have between
preparation and performance.
And so many things clicked forme in the conversation because
there were kind of seeminglyoppos.
(29:05):
Posing parts of myself.
I'm trying to figure out wheredo you optimize this?
Where does this fit in?
And this brought so much clarityto the role of these seemingly
opposite traits and how they canhelp or hinder us, whether we
use them in preparation orwhether we use them in
performance.
So very, very useful frameworkfor me, and I know anybody that
(29:29):
listens to it will definitelyget some takeaways.
Brian Levenson (29:32):
When I would talk to my clients and we'd say,
"What do you really need whenyou're performing?" They would
say,"It's actually beyondconfidence.
I need this unshakeable beliefin myself that I'm gonna find a
way." And actually greathumility requires great
confidence.
It takes confidence to havesomeone say,"I need to get
better.
I need help." And it takesarrogance when the lights are on
and things aren't going theright way to have this
(29:54):
unshakeable belief that you'regonna find a way.
I think a lot of people areafraid to step into arrogance.
I think a lot of people areafraid to step into selfishness.
I think a lot of people areafraid to step into
perfectionism because there's alot there.
And if you overdose on any ofthose, it absolutely is toxic.
And by the way, if you'rearrogant in preparation, you're
not gonna learn anything andit's gonna hold you back
completely.
(30:15):
And by the way, if you aretrying to be perfect in
performance, it's gonna get inthe way as well.
And by the way, if you'reselfish in a performance for a
lot of team sports that is deathas well.
So the reason why those wordsget bad labels is not unjust.
They deserve it because if it'sused at the wrong time, it
absolutely can get in the way ofus getting to where we want to
(30:36):
go.
I think fear can absolutely be amotivator.
I think if it's the onlymotivator, that's where you can
run into some issues and sometrouble, if we're led by fear, I
think that can run into sometrouble.
Fearlessness is the other sideof the coin, where when we are
performing, we do need to let goof the concern.
We need to be bold.
We need to be brave.
We need to be vulnerable,courageous, whatever word you
(30:58):
wanna put there and not worryabout the outcome.
And there comes a time where youhave to say F it I'm going for
it and let's make it happen.
And I think if you've doneenough fear in preparation, then
you've earned the right to thenlet go and just say, all right,
I've done all the work.
I've thought about everythingthat could go wrong.
Do you have this story or doesthe story have you?
Do you have the anxiety or doesthe anxiety have you?
(31:19):
Do you have sadness or doessadness have you?
Do you have anger or does angerhave you?
Do you have a glass of wine ordoes wine have you?
I've learned so much from justputting that framework into my
world.
Success is I wanna work reallyhard and I wanna be home for
dinner as much as I possiblycan.
Michael Bauman (31:37):
And we just scratched the surface in the
interview.
I definitely recommend checkingout his book, Shift Your Mind.
If you wanna operate at a highlevel performance, really in any
area of your life, there are somany tools in there that you can
use to upgrade your life.
After Brian, we had Joe Sanokon, He's the author of the four
Day Work Week.
(31:58):
4 on a mission to educate theworld on the benefits of a 32
hour work week, and even theincreases in productivity
wellbeing that can achievethrough the shift.
So we dive into productivityframeworks that you can
implement to boost your ownproductivity along with how he
structures his days and weeksfor maximum productivity, while
still making a lot of time forthe things that are important to
(32:20):
us.
Joe Sanok (32:20):
The industrialist said, here's the one model.
Here's the prescription.
Everyone should follow it.
Whereas this post industrialistera we're looking at well,
what's the menu?
How do I taste that menu?
Try it, evaluate it, experimentand see if it works for me, for
my job, for my life, and thenget the data.
And if it doesn't work okay,that doesn't mean you're a bad
person.
It just means that doesn'tresonate with you.
(32:41):
And so really having that menubased model, both in work and in
your life seems to be the postindustrialist way that really
helps people find what they'relooking for.
Most of the research shows thatthe final 20% that someone works
in a 40 hour work week iscompletely useless.
They may not spend it all on aFriday, but they're slower
throughout the week because thehuman body just isn't going to
(33:01):
operate above that 32 hours.
What we see in case studies andin the research is that really,
if we just say work a 32 hourweek, but we're gonna pay you
the same that you get the sameor better outcomes.
And so there's two factors toyour sprint type.
There's what kind of work you'redoing when you're sprinting and
when you're doing it.
First we wanna look at bewhether you're a time block
(33:23):
sprinter or a task switchsprinter.
So time block sprinter issomeone that just does one task
when they're sprinting, whereassomeone that's task switching,
they have a variety of tasks.
Now they're not multi-tasking.
These are still high leveltasks.
The second part is when we doit.
So an automated sprinter issomeone that puts it in their
calendar and it just repeatsevery single week.
(33:43):
And so an automated sprinter forme when I was writing the book
every Thursday, it's just onrepeat like Thursday is the day
that I'm writing the book.
Whereas if we look at anintensive sprinter, they go away
for intensive.
So they might go to an Airbnbfor a couple days.
They find a space.
natural neuro syncing is a termwhere we're trying to align what
we're doing in our behavior andour activities with our natural
(34:05):
patterns of energy, hormones,and brainwaves.
And so just starting to observewhen do I have the most energy?
So for me, My peak energy timeis usually like 10:00 AM to
probably 1145.
Michael Bauman (34:18):
So what is your sprint type?
Are you a time block sprinter, atask switch sprinter?
Are you an automated sprinter oran intensive sprinter?
And how can you use naturalneural syncing to optimize your
day and routine?
So obviously, just like withanything, it's not the
knowledge, but what you actuallydo with it.
So what are you gonna do withthis knowledge?
How can you use this knowledgeto actually improve your
(34:41):
product?
So the last guests we had in themonth of September was Peter
Sage.
His story is so unbelievable.
It easily could be made into amovie.
He's a serial entrepreneur whowas founded over 27 companies.
He was buying Ferrari with cash,when he was 25, but his life was
miserable.
He went from that to living anunbelievably fulfilled life.
(35:02):
And oh, did I forget to mentionthat he spent six months in the
most violent prison in the UK ona trumped of charge and up
transforming it from within, sohe did that too.
It's crazy.
You cannot miss this episode.
Peter Sage (35:17):
I bought my first Ferrari for cash at 25.
I was flying Concord.
I got multiple businesses.
I could be the idiot buyingoverpriced champagne on the
private tables in thenightclubs.
Cause I thought that's what Ihad to do.
I could be the person with thefancy-schmancy suits and stuff.
Absolutely miserable.
Didn't have a life.
Completely insecure.
(35:37):
And not happy.
And I thought that this was theway to be happy.
I'm building a monster, trappingme.
Why am I doing this?
Who cares?
What good am I to the world if Iend up in a ditch, upside down
in a car that I worked my assoff to buy a and now it's going
to be the one thing that, intombs me, cause I haven't got
the energy or strength to enjoyit.
I've got more money.
(35:57):
What does that mean?
Oh, I can decorate my, theprison of my life with better
quality artwork.
Well, who wants that?
So yeah, that, that was theturning one.
When it comes to business, we'reblinded by that link of
achievements equaling goodenough validation.
And so when we're ignoring thewarning signs and it's not tight
(36:18):
pants, it's tight bloodpressure, it's relationships not
flowing.
It's forgetting, the kids sportsday because put it in the
calendar at the office, oryou're now haven't got enough
energy to have sex when you gethome, because you're too busy,
fighting dragons all day.
So I realized that I've spentmost of my life craving
significance as a vehicle to tryto get connection and approval.
(36:39):
And when I saw that, I'm like,what the hell have I been
playing?
Well, what's really mattershere?
What am I here to do?
Day 1 on the journey toemotional maturity is the day
that you realize life is growthcentric, not comfort centric.
And the second awareness thatgoes along with.
It's the day you finally become,okay.
(37:00):
Not being liked.
I get a knock on the door from ahundred million dollar law firm,
suing me for$17 million.
They froze all my accountsglobally.
They tried to squeeze me into asettlement.
I didn't want to do it.
I thought they were unjust.
Just cause you got the biggestlegal muscles in the playground,
do you want to bully the littlekids?
No, not standing for it.
Then hit me with a contempt ofcourt application saying I'd
(37:20):
breached the freezing order.
Lost my business.
I went from 50 staff to threestaff in three minutes.
I had to pay all the legal coststhat they throw at me.
I'm in a 200 year old prison.
I'm getting one shower everyfour days.
I'm managing to make one phonecall every two days and banged
up for 23 hours a day.
With murderers, terrorists,lifers, drug dealers, violent
(37:43):
crime armed robbers Yeah, quitethe adventure to be fair.
Michael Bauman (37:46):
Isn't that insane?
So if you want to hear the wholestory, which I'd highly
recommend it, it'll blow yourmind.
Check out season six, episode10.
Incredible, incredible story.
Incredible person.
So then the last month inOctober here, was all about
mental health, and I had thefirst repeat guest on, so The
(38:06):
Incredible Krista Scott Dixon,or Ksd, who is my personal coach
and friend.
She's a truly extraordinarycoach, and her episode is a
masterclass on mental health.
I'd recommend it for everybodyshe helped me tremendously
through a very difficult time inmy life, and I know you, you
will have to take a lot of notescuz everything she has to say is
(38:28):
so applicable and so real and sohonest, which is very refreshing
as well.
Krista Scott Dixon (38:34):
Hopefully if you're listening and you're
feeling like, oh my God, I'm theonly one I assure you that
you're not.
you are not alone.
It is impossible to be alone insomething that strikes deeply at
the human condition.
And that's really what this isright?
Is the human condition.
The condition of being human.
One of the frames I have foundquite useful for clients is to
(38:55):
understand that all of theseparts have a function.
They have a job, and a lot ofthem were developed at times in
our life.
Usually earlier times in ourlife, when we did not have the
full spectrum of adult mature,grown up coping tools, right?
Like our prefrontal cortex, likea lot of these kind of thinky
(39:18):
reasoning, parts of our brainare not even fully online until
our mid twentie.
Well, a lot of bad stuff canhappen between zero and 25.
Right?
And so we develop these parts tocope with whatever we experience
and in the moment that copingwas the best that we could do
given the limited toolbox.
(39:38):
So if something hard happens toyou when you're three or your
five or your 10, you're gonna besolving that problem with a
three, five or 10 year old mind.
And of course it's not gonna bea really great solution to your
30 year old self.
When I explain this to clientsand then what we do is sometimes
even find a picture of them as achild.
And with this picture in mind,talk about this child, almost
(40:02):
like a separate person, like,what do you think this little
person would've liked?
And that's very helpful becausemost of us have some kind of
like intrinsic compassion forsmall children and small
children suffering.
And the idea like, oh my God.
Yeah.
Like that stuff happened to thislittle kid and they did the best
that they could with what theyhad.
Like it starts to soften theedge of that.
(40:23):
And so first people start to seethe reason why this exists.
They start to soften towards itrather than being really harsh
about it.
And then sometimes with thatsoftening, it's almost like they
invite that part to kind ofintegrate.
So there's this multi-stageprocess of first demonstrating
whatever this thing that youdon't like it had a job to do.
(40:43):
You can see how it got the ideathat this was useful.
It helped you at the time.
It's probably no longer helpful.
Let's see if we can softentowards it, bring some
compassion and then maybeintegrate it into our current
self and also use itsuperpowers.
Right?
Sometimes these parts ofourselves are actually really
excellent at something.
(41:04):
Like my anxiety makes damn sureI don't forget my passport.
I don't forget my keys.
I'm an extremely conscientiousperson and so I'm never that
person that's forgetting alltheir stuff or like going to the
wrong appointment.
That doesn't happen.
Thanks to my anxiety.
So you can kind of also give ita job if it has superpowers,
whatever it is.
(41:25):
One of the metaphors that isoften used is you're driving a
bus and you have passengers onthe bus, right?
Maybe your anxiety is apassenger.
And your depression is apassenger.
But the goal is to make surethat the you-ness of you, the
wise self, the wise mind isdriving the bus, right?
The wise mind is something thatintegrates all that information
that our emotions give us, andthen reason and logic and
(41:48):
strategy and thinking, and itbrings them together into wisdom
and discernment.
So you want the wise minddriving the bus, but all of
these other parts of yourselfcan be passengers and you can
hear them.
You can be like,"Oh, heyanxiety.
What's up?
What do we need to worry abouttoday?" Okay, cool.
Let me write that down.
And then you can go back to yourseat, your job is done.
We're good.
(42:08):
We got it from here.
Michael Bauman (42:09):
I love the bus metaphor and how we can allow
the parts of ourselves that wemay not like to be the
passengers on the bus and evenleverage their superpowers that
they've honed protecting us allthese years.
So I thought that was excellent.
Curious to hear what stood outmost to you.
Cuz there's so much in there.
And so after Ksd, another guestwe had in October was Lettie
Gore.
(42:29):
So she's a black historian thatworks tirelessly to educate
people about the overlookedparts of history that contribute
to systemic racism that we seeplaying out across the world
today.
She is a wealth of resources andknowledge, and this episode will
definitely change how you viewhistory and hopefully even your
personal behaviors and how youinteract with people that may be
(42:50):
different
Lettie Gore (42:52):
There's this issue with history and memory.
People create these verycomfortable truths to feel good
about themselves to holdthemselves up.
You can't just look at historyin a vacuum.
History is not linear, right?
Everything in history isconnected.
You can't talk about racism andyou can't talk about white
(43:13):
supremacy without doing your owninternal work.
Right.
And in order to do your owninternal work, you have to
understand that's gonna comewith being uncomfortable.
You gotta do that work.
That's on you.
That's no one else'sresponsibility, When we talk
about the word freedom, and wetalk about the word free.
We hear these words, our wholelives.
(43:34):
What does that really meanthough?
Freedom for who?
Who gets to decide what freedomis?
Freedom for me, is not having toworry about how is racism gonna
affect me in this situation?
Freedom is being able to feelthat joy in a way where you
don't have to turn it off.
(43:56):
You don't have to tone it down.
You don't have to worry about itbeing taken away by society.
Michael Bauman (44:02):
So finally we had Luke Tyburski on the show.
He is an ultra enduranceathlete, and when I mean ultra,
I mean ultra.
So he did a 2000 kilometerultimate triathlon where he swam
from Africa to Spain through thestraight of Gibraltar, cycled a
random Monaco in 12 days.
Unreal.
(44:23):
But the true gold in his storyis how he pulls back the curtain
on his deep struggle withdepression, of not knowing who
he was, his binge-eating, andeven suicidal ideation.
He shares how we all have thesecrutches, these things that we
use to hide from the deep painthat we feel.
(44:44):
And at some point we have to bewilling to face that truly
inspirational fellow and trulyinspirational.
Luke Tyburski (44:51):
So I had this huge loss of identity that I was
battling with in the moment Iwas depressed, suffering with
depression, and I thought thissucks.
I dunno what to do.
And then on a whim, because Ididn't wanna sit in that moment
(45:11):
and be present in that momentand feel the feelings I was
having and assess the situationbecause it was too painful for
me.
I did what I thought was a greatidea at the time.
And that was to sign up to oneof the toughest ultra-marathons
in the world.
(45:33):
255 kilometers in seven daysthrough the middle of the Sahara
desert, carrying everything inyour backpack, six marathons in
seven days, self supported I wasliterally running away from my
pain, running away from notknowing who I was.
The real deep answer to how Iwas able to push myself when I
was going through all thesereally difficult physical
(45:54):
moments during theseultra-marathons and ultra
triathlons was the pain that Iwas feeling deep down.
I was struggling withdepression.
The only time I felt alive and Ifelt myself and I felt like I
had energy and power was when Iwas out running or over the
years as they progressedswimming and cycling.
(46:14):
When I was training, when I waspushing myself, that's when I
felt alive.
As soon as I stopped, Iplummeted into depression
because I didn't know who I was.
So that deep rooted pain.
Was the thing that was reallypushing me when things got
tough, difficult, because it wasa case of I can stop doing this
(46:37):
stuff and to make the pain goaway, open up, and speak about
the pain that I was goingthrough.
Or I can use that pain to fuelme and quite literally, and
figuratively run away from it.
2015 before I did my 2000kilometer in 12 day Ultimate
Triathlon from Morocco to Monacowhere I swam the Gibraltar
(46:59):
strait between Spain and Africa,cycled the Southeast coast of
Spain and then ran from theSpanish French border to Monaco
in 12 days.
I was a keynote speaker.
I'd traveled around the worldspeaking about the big
adventures I'd been on.
I'd had countless magazinesarticles written about me.
I had different brands who weresponsoring me.
And my mental health wasplummeting outta control I just
(47:22):
felt like the world was fallingon top of me.
And I laid down in the sunshineon the concrete, in the back
garden, on the path in the fetalposition and cried.
I opened up and started to talkabout the standing on top of a
bridge, the binge eating theinsomnia, the depression, and
the severity of the depressionwith friends and family.
(47:46):
And then I started to add someof that into my keynote talks.
Wouldn't it be really cool toshow that no matter what color
you are, where you come from orhow good it looks on the outside
that from a human level, we canall be going through some really
nasty stuff.
Michael Bauman (48:04):
So there you have it.
Season six of SuccessEngineering is in the Bag.
Thank you for taking thisjourney with me.
I'm so honored to have theprivilege to be able to.
Talk to such a diverse group ofworld leaders and experts to
really dive into how we candefine and create success in our
lives.
So I'll see everyone back inJanuary where we'll bring on
(48:26):
some amazing guests to help youcompletely change your physical
health from the inside out.
I already have some lined up.
I'm excited for it.
Thanks so much for listening.
Enjoy the holiday season andkeep engineering your success.
Hello everybody.
Welcome back to SuccessEngineering.
This is the best of episode forseason six, so we will be
highlighting the most memorablestories, the tips, the insights
from each of our guests in thisseason.
So this is such a great episodeto listen to as it provides a
teaser for a lot of theseguests.
And if there's ones that youmissed along the way that sound
(00:22):
interesting, it makes you easyto go back and revisit them.
So some of you longtimelisteners may be wondering why
I'm finishing the season now asI usually end it in December.
So, very perceptive of you.
There's a couple reasons why I'mdoing this.
So first off, I just, I recentlyhad ACL surgery after I, I tore
my ACL playing soccer andneedless to say, the past couple
(00:45):
weeks have been pretty painful.
And my rehab is taking up moretime than I expected.
So I just wanna make sure I'mprioritize prioritizing myself
and my recovery during thistime.
Obviously that's important.
Secondly, I have a lot ofexciting things that I'm working
on right now with my business.
I'm upgrading a lot of thingsfor the new year, so this is
everything.
Wrapping up, multiple, Coachingcertifications to continue to
(01:07):
learn, provide highest value formy clients to upgrading my
social media presence, contentcreation, all that kind of
stuff.
So, needless to say, there's alot going on right now, and I
just wanna make sure I amproviding the best quality I can
with the podcast and the contentI create.
And then thirdly, and this tiesin with the second reason, but
this time of year, I do a lot ofreflection, as I know a lot of
(01:28):
you do, and kind of evaluating,you know, where I'm headed, what
I want to do, my goals, what Iwanna accomplish.
So taking this time to pull backand kind of slow down a little
bit along with spending moretime with family and refocusing,
reprioritizing really helps meput my best foot forward heading
into the new year.
So that's why I'm ending thisseason a little early.
(01:50):
I hope you enjoyed it and got asmuch out of it as I did.
Every single guest upgrades mylife in some way.
Through the insights they have,wisdom, different perspectives I
gave from them.
And I if you haven't gotten yourcopy of number one Amazon
International Best Seller, PeakPerformance Mindset Tools for
Entrepreneurs, you can go toAmazon.
(02:11):
I was a contributing author to achapter in that, so you can go
to Amazon to pick that up.
My chapter was all about how wecan truly feel enough in every
area of our life.
Something that, you know, I'veworked on and I know a lot of, a
lot of the listeners and stuffwork on, on a daily basis.
So I'll put the link to that inthe show notes.
So, alright, let's, let's jumpback in time.
(02:31):
Let's revisit these amazingguests that we had on this past
season and get a refresher onhow we can keep engineering our
success.
So we kicked off this seasonwith our month on physical
health in July, and our firstguest was Sonia Jhas.
She's a powerhouse figure in thehealth and fitness space, who
shares her own journey withdisordered eating, with body
(02:52):
image, how cultural and societynorms shape how we, you know,
define beauty.
Really diving into how we candefine what true health and
wellness is for ourselves.
So excellent episode.
Give it a listen.
Sonia Jhas (03:07):
I was nine years old.
I was in grade four.
Some math class teacher wastalking, I was loosely paying
attention.
And I remember looking down andhaving this thought for a moment
where I was like, oh God, yourstomach is totally round! It's
not flat.
Why is it doing that?
(03:28):
And I proceeded to spend therest of my math class, trying to
figure out if there was a wayfor me to suck in my stomach, do
that while still being able tobreathe so that I could visually
look thinner without actuallybeing thinner.
if I can't actually change mybody, maybe I can fake it and
(03:52):
maybe faking it is the same.
And I think these moments, thesesmall little moments of me
convincing myself that faking itwas the same as I don't even
want to say making it, but thatit was the same as living
authentically.
I think that was been a themethat carried over in so many
different facets, right?
(04:12):
It was about my body.
It was about school.
It was about hair.
It was about aesthetics.
It bled into so many differentareas, but I think the seed was
the same, right.
There was this expectationaround what I'm supposed to look
like, what my body compositionis supposed to look like.
And I felt rather desperate toachieve it even at such a young
(04:33):
age.
You look in the mirror everymorning and you pick apart every
part of your body, you areconsistently on the hamster
wheel of weight loss.
You are either eating enough fora village to get it in so that
then you can fix yourself bypunishing yourself later and
going into extreme deprivation.
I think for the first time I wasready to call myself out.
(04:54):
I think for the first time I wasactually able to be like, you
can do whatever else you want,but until you can find some
version of alignment and harmonywith you and your body, you're
going to continue chasing jobafter job, when the crux of the
issue is your self-worth.
(05:16):
I think for me, one of thebiggest aha moments that I had
for myself, which is it is nevergoing to be static.
I am never going to arrive atthe destination.
There is no destination that I'mgoing to be able to hold on to
and then be like, well, yeah,did good.
There we go.
We just unpack here.
Because mentally I'm going to befluid, physically I'm going to
be fluid, and so I thinkabandoning the idea of the
(05:40):
destination being where did thehappy people live, both
physically and mentally.
I think that was the opening ofa different journey and has been
the journey that has continuedsince then where you're allowed
to ebb and flow.
The biggest piece of theequation for everybody, it's
what do you want wellness tofeel like?
(06:01):
Forget about what you wantwellness to look like, but what
do you want it to feel like?
And then the question is, whatchoices are you going to make to
actually make that happen sothat you can be living in
alignment?
Because how often are weoverriding how we feel?
How often are we tellingourselves stories about who we
(06:25):
are, who we were, who we couldbe that are driving our
behaviors and we're in autopilotmode and we are racing.
I don't know where, but we'reall racing.
It's the mindset piece that'seither going to make the journey
exceptionally painful or it'sgoing to be one that opens up
the potential for your life.
Michael Bauman (06:45):
I just love how she defined the fluidity of the
destination and really askingourselves what would wellness
and health feel like?
Rather than getting caught up onthe shame treadmill of our body,
never meeting up to someoftentimes unattainable goal.
And as you guys know, I'm allabout, you know, what success
feels like and how we can unpackthat and unpack the, the
(07:06):
narratives, the stories andstuff that underlie it.
And so July my book, the AmazonInternational Bestseller, Peak
Performance Mindset Tools forEntrepreneurs that I contributed
chapter to it launched and I hadamazing time exploring some of
the areas of West China, so theTibetan areas of West China with
my family during that month.
So lots of yaks out there, justunbelievable vistas, mountains
(07:30):
and stunning stars.
It was a, it was an amazingmonth.
A lot going on.
but the other guest that we hadthat month was Craig Weller.
So he's a previous special forceoperator who was actually on an
ambassador protection unit inBaghdad among a number of other
very dangerous places who nowtrains people to pass the elite
(07:50):
special force selection testwith a 90% success rate, which
is unheard of because there'stypically a 10%.
For those selection tests.
So the entire episode is crampedwith actionable mindset tools
taken from the best of the bestthat you can implement in your
life right away.
It, it's extraordinary.
(08:12):
I'd highly recommend it.
Craig Weller (08:13):
In selection, there's no positive feedback.
The goal posts constantly moveand it doesn't matter how fast
you just were because the nextthing is gonna suck anyway.
You're basically playing for atie the whole time.
You can't win.
You can't perform your way outof being cold, wet, and sandy.
You're sleep deprived.
You're going to have to sufferno matter how good you are.
So if people don't embraceeffort and struggle as a
(08:37):
necessary part of the processand see that failure as an
opportunity to learn and becomebetter they're probably not
gonna make it very far at all.
An internal locus of control isan extremely important thing.
Which means you view yourself asan active participant in the
world.
You're not a passive bystander.
(08:58):
The world doesn't happen to you.
You're responsible for your ownpath and what you're doing, and
you don't need externalmotivation to get you through
what you're doing.
When no one's telling you howgood you are, or trying to
motivate you and tell you to tryharder and keep going or
whatever.
When the only voice left that istelling you to keep going is the
(09:21):
one in your own head.
Some people have not developedthat and they need that external
encouragement.
You won't have that there.
The only thing left is your ownvoice.
You'd have to look atmindfulness or self-awareness,
the ability to monitor your owninternal dialogue, your own
emotional state and gain anunderstanding of how your
reacting or responding to theexternal world.
(09:44):
So gain a monitoring sense ofself and an experiencing sense
of self so that you can see thisis happening and this is how I'm
responding to it.
And this is how I'm thinkingabout how I respond to it.
And once you have that selfawareness or you're capable of
that, it's called self distanceperspective, taking from there,
you can start consciouslymanaging your self talk as a
(10:04):
feedback loop where you know,that certain things are going to
be toxic and certain things aregoing to be beneficial.
So it starts with being aware ofyour self talk and your
emotional states and yourability to regulate them and
then controlling your self talkbecause you can't directly
control your emotional states,but you can control your
thoughts to some extent.
(10:25):
You can at least redirect them.
And thoughts make feelingseventually.
The feelings that we have aren'tthe direct result of an event.
They're the result of how weinterpret that event, the story
that we tell ourselves about it.
So you can learn to tellyourself a better story in the
face of these different events.
And then you apply that throughincreasingly difficult or
(10:48):
stressful situations.
Like you referenced, the stressinoculation thing.
It's basically that where atfirst you learn or master this
skill in a low complexity, likea simple, easy non stress
setting.
Just the ability to sit there.
And sense into your ownemotional state, the physical
sensations in your body, whatyour self talk is, and then
(11:09):
eventually regulate those thingslike steer the direction of your
self talk, change your internaldialogue, if it drifts in an
undesirable direction and to dothat, just sitting in your
living room or whatever, like inan easy environment.
And then as you go throughtraining, you start doing that
in progressively morechallenging setting.
So you're taking the same skillthat you mastered in a low
(11:29):
stress setting.
Like the ability to regulateyour self talk and your internal
dialogue.
And then you're doing that whileyou're a little bit more
miserable and a little bit moremiserable, and you do things
that make it harder and harderto do that.
Something that I've seen withthe special ops people I've
worked with and people I'vecoached over 20 years almost is
that comfort and happinessrarely exist at the same time.
(11:51):
Usually if we look back at themoments in which we felt the
most happiness or the most joyin what we were doing it
probably was not a time when wewere extremely comfortable.
And in a lot of cases, we'retrading one for the other.
And I think it's really commonfor people to trade happiness in
(12:12):
exchange for comfort.
They give up some amount ofhappiness.
They give up some amount offulfillment a sense of
engagement with their life inorder to remain comfortable.
And eventually people can buildthemselves a nest that becomes a
trap where you have a lot ofcomfort, but you don't have a
lot of happiness.
And I think it's important to beaware of that trade that often
(12:34):
they have to be exchanged andthat if you're trying to do more
fulfilling things in your life,if you're trying to put more
days between the years and havethings that you'll look back on
and really cherish you mighthave to give up some comfort to
do that.
Michael Bauman (12:50):
I learned so much about how we can handle
fear and stress.
I love the stress inoculation orfear inoculation framework.
I've started to use that with myclients, along with how our
comfort and happiness rarely gotogether and how we can
intentionally choose to tradeone for the other.
So good.
Excellent, excellent.
Stuff.
So in August we shifted ourfocus to what makes us.
(13:13):
And our first guess was JohnCoyle.
He's a former Olympic silvermedalist speed skater, currently
an expert in chron deception,which is how we perceive time,
how we store our memories.
He has some excellent tips forhow you can actually lengthen
out your years and your life byfilling them with activities
that specifically expand ourperception of time.
(13:36):
And I've actually startedplanning my calendar using the
advice he gave to live morefully and richly, and I know
you'll get a lot from this.
John Coyle (13:43):
Success is leveraging my time on this
planet to create the mostmemorable moments possible, such
that I slow stop and reverse theperceived acceleration of time
that most adults feel, andexperience the endless summers
of my youth, again.
If you think about the way yourlife is constructed, the brain
constructs time and moments.
(14:03):
You can't store more than sevenseconds.
Normally you're storing abouttwo seconds worth of data.
That's what you and I are doingright now in a comfortable
setting.
But when things get crazy,anxious, risky, the brain fires
up and it starts storingmemories at 10 to 20 times per
second.
This is why things seem to slowdown in a car crash.
When you're about to ask thatgirl out, this is when your
(14:25):
brain is on fire, and these arethe moments that change the
trajectory of your life.
The six ways (14:31):
risk, emotional intensity associated with risk,
physical intensity is notrequired, but usually is
helpful, beauty, beautifulthings.
Uniqueness is just new.
And then the sixth and the themultiplying factor here is the
flow state.
So if you are in the flow state,which is the peak performance
(14:53):
zone, the zone, in your bestself, then that multiplies your
30 X amygdala driven memorywriting by five X.
So now you're got 150 times anormal, boring day writing.
And so you're literally, andthis is no joke.
You're literally living 150times longer.
(15:13):
So if you're gonna live 50 moreyears, you could live 50 more
years or you could live like 10because time is slowing down.
Or if you're like me, you'reliterally gonna live 2000 more
years.
I'm 20 years into 2022.
It's no joke.
Because I'm living all the wayup.
I'm stacking these six thingsall the time when I can This is
(15:33):
the amazing thing.
If you can multiply time by1500.
You only need a couple ofmoments a year to create the
kind of things where there'sbefore and after and where you
know, where you were and whatyou did and that sort of thing.
So design three, five, I shootfor 10 moments a year that are.
(15:54):
Truly compellingly different.
So the three things.
Broad deep and highly recallablememories, broad meaning there's
a lot of information, deepmeaning it's intense and highly
recallable meaning that you canfind it.
Those three things.
That's a success in life as faras I'm concerned.
Michael Bauman (16:13):
So what activities can you put in your
life that involve emotionalintensity, physical intensity
effort, beauty.
Something that's unique,something that's new and flow
state that actually can justchange up your routine, change
things up, make your life morememorable for yourself and for
the people around you.
An excellent question to askyourself.
(16:33):
So then after that episode, Ishared a kind of sneak peek into
the Mastermind that I run with aframework that I use for
defining deep success in ourlives and actually unpacking the
layers of success that mostpeople.
Which is what leaves themfeeling not enough or empty,
even if their life is full ofall the external trappings of
(16:53):
success.
So here, I'm gonna break down acouple of those things and you
can go back and listen to theepisode if you want to hear the
full thing.
Fundamentally how we definesuccess is about what we desire.
In this episode, I wanna reallyunpack how we go about defining
success.
I wanna begin with looking atwhat deep success is.
(17:16):
So what most people don'trealize is there are actually
layers to our definition ofsuccess.
This is why people can achievean extraordinary amount and
still be left feeling empty.
Because while they may have metthe criteria for the upper
levels of success, they're stillmissing, understanding and
(17:36):
meeting the deeper levels ofwhat true success is.
So let me lay out what thesedifferent layers of success are
to give you an idea of what I'mtalking about.
So the first layer is theappearance of success.
And this is what we see oneverybody's Instagrams, tiktok,
any social media.
These are also the people thatwe typically put on pedestals.
(17:59):
So the ones who've achievedsuccess.
It could be your actors, themillionaire CEOs, the sports
stars, the rock stars, whateverit is, we look at their life and
we see success, quote unquote.
We see people who have made it.
And we calibrate our definitionof success to their appearance
(18:23):
of success.
And this distinction becomesvery, very important because it
is actually an appearance ofsuccess.
There is no correlation betweenwhat appears to be a success and
what actually feels like asuccess on a daily basis.
(18:45):
the next layer of success, whichis the feeling of success.
Underneath all of the appearanceof success that people have
actually lies the question, howcan I feel like a success in
every area of my life?
I have found that there is alink, especially for
(19:05):
entrepreneurs with feeling likea success and feeling enough, so
much so that sometimes I usethese two interchangeably.
Success is an ever changingadjustment to circumstances and
the life stages that we findourself in.
So it's important to continue toask these questions, continue to
(19:25):
refine, continue to tweak, makeadjustments to our life.
So no matter what happens, wecan be showing up as the most
authentic, integrated version ofourselves.
Even if that authenticity andintegration shifts over time.
So feelings, as we all know,they can be very fickle.
We need to dig behind thesefeelings and emotions into our
(19:50):
true values that we hold.
The stories that we tell aboutourselves, about the world, the
people around it and theidentities that we've actually
built.
These stories dictate not onlyhow we feel, but everything from
how we fundamentally perceivethe world, how we interact with
(20:12):
the world.
And the stories vary bycircumstance by the environment
by the people were inrelationship to.
And so, to unpack this area ofsuccess to really start to look
at these stories, to look at theidentities that we have.
And this brings us to the fourthlevel of success.
(20:35):
So underneath all of our storiesunderneath the identities that
we tell ourselves really isbeing present and being aware
with the moment that we haveright in front of us What if
being successful really had todo with how present are we able
to be with every moment that weare given in our days in our
(20:58):
lives.
I feel this is one of the mostvaluable gifts that we can give
to both to ourselves, but alsoto every single person that we
interact with in our lives.
I followed that up with anothersneak peak episode about how we
can overcome imposter syndromeand deconstruct our limiting
(21:18):
beliefs and self-sabotage withthe incredible work done by Sure
that Jamin and positiveintelligence.
It's really seminal work done inthis field, and again, highly
recommend everything, but Iwould definitely recommend
listening to it because you canlearn about your own personal
saboteurs and what affects youand how it affects you, and then
(21:39):
you can learn some things thatyou can do to actually start
overcoming that.
What has just been fascinatingto me for a very long time is we
have the traditional definitionof success and we have
happiness.
And can we get both is thequestion.
Can we achieve the success thatwe want on one hand?
And what does that look like?
(22:00):
And how can we intentionallydefine that?
But can we also be happy?
Can we develop a life that welive very fulfilled and very
happily and full of purpose onthe other hand?
So we've all been there.
We've had a dream, we've had agoal that we wanted to do.
And then we all kind of sabotageourselves differently, but you
know, we really wanna achieveit.
(22:20):
And then when it gets to thatpoint where we take action or we
don't, somehow we talk ourselvesout of it or we navigate around
it whatever that looks like forus, somehow we sabotage
ourselves.
So I'm gonna talk about all theresearch around how we actually
overcome these limiting beliefsand how we train to do things
(22:42):
differently.
So again, this is incredibleseminal work developed by
Shirzad Chamine and you can readabout it in his book, Positive
Intelligence why 20% of teamsand people succeed, and 80%
don't.
Phenomenal book, I would again,highly recommend it.
there's actually three coremental muscles.
(23:04):
And the terminology use is veryspecific with that because these
are things we can develop andtrain, but there's three things
that are responsible for all therest of the peak performance and
happiness.
it comes down to our ability tobe aware of our saboteurs, the
things that sabotage us Then theability to command ourselves to
(23:26):
do a different response.
And we have those saboteurs.
Then we have our Sage responses,which is the foundation of
emotional intelligence, itactually operates in a different
part of the brain.
That's actually associated withcreativity and empathy and
curiosity.
what positive intelligence is ata very simple level is basically
(23:48):
we have different regions of ourbrain and what percentage of our
day, do we spend with our brainactually helping us and
supporting us and encouraging usversus detracting versus
sabotaging us.
Positive intelligence is.
What percentage of your day isyour brain your friend versus
being your enemy?
(24:08):
mental fitness is similar, butslightly different.
Basically it is your capacity torespond to life's challenges
with positive, rather than anegative mindset.
Mental fitness is training to beable to operate from a higher
level of positive intelligence.
At the end of the month, I hadthe incredible privilege of
(24:29):
interviewing John Helliwell.
He's the editor of the WorldHappiness Report.
I would highly recommend youcheck out this report.
Not only does it list 153countries by their happiness
levels, it it break you.
If you break it down evendeeper, you can see that there's
actually six categories that the10 years of data have shown to
contribute, that contribute themost to overall happiness and
(24:51):
life evaluation levels brokendown by these countries.
And then it goes into someincredible new research around
genetics, how that affects ourhappiness a whole lot more.
We definitely ran out of timebefore we ran out things to talk
about with this interview.
It was very eye-opening andagain, I, I would definitely
recommend you check.
John Helliwell (25:10):
Our rankings of countries are based on the
average values of people'sanswer to a question.
And then we average'em overthree years to get a sample size
of roughly 3000 per country.
To that doesn't jump around forsample size reasons too much
from year.
A question asking people tothink about their lives as a
whole, with the best possiblelife as a 10, and the worst is a
(25:32):
zero.
How would they rate their lifetoday?
And of course we found quitequickly on.
That these averages differhugely around the world from
averages up close to eight insome countries and down below
three in some other countries.
And they go up and downaccording to how life really is
in different countries.
we have a choice of variables weuse and the ones that continue
(25:56):
to have broad support year afteryear that two first are obvious
of income per capita and healthylife expectancy.
Because they've been the polesfor assessing the quality of
development efforts for decadesor longer.
The variables that you mentionedearlier is having a social
connection contain a variety ofchannels.
(26:19):
But between them, they cover alot of the important aspects of
life.
The first and most important isyou have someone to count on in
times of trouble.
It's not the only way ofmeasuring your personal support
networks, but it's a good way.
So across country, it's just thefrequency of people who have
somebody to count on Another oneis the extent to which people
(26:39):
think corruption is a problem ingovernment and industry,
separate questions.
We take the average of the twoin their country.
And then we ask people, to whatextent do you have a sense of
freedom to make your key lifedecisions that was discovered in
this strand of earlier researchand turned out to be very
powerful and continues to bevery powerful.
(27:01):
And then we have benevolence andthe measure that's used in the
report, or have you given tocharity in the last month, the
variety of other measures thatdo roughly as well.
And people are happier living insocieties where everyone is
generous.
They're not only happier beinggenerous themselves, but they're
(27:21):
happy when they're living inthat kind of environment.
you could imagine dystopia isthe adverse of utopia and utopia
would be where everything wasfor the best dystopia is where
everything is for the worst.
And why did we even think aboutthat in a World Happiness
Report?
It's because we wanted a waywhen we're showing that key
(27:42):
chart, which gives the overallscore for each country, and then
how much is contributed by eachof the six variables.
In order for each contributionto be positive, it has to be
positive to some zero baseline.
Well, what we use as the zerobaseline for each of those
(28:02):
variables is the country in thesample that has the lowest
value.
So one country's lowest forfreedom and other's lowest for
GDPper capita,, and other islowest for health.
We define dystopia as thecountry that has the lowest.
It isn't a real country, ofcourse.
That would have the world'slowest values of all those six
(28:23):
variables.
Michael Bauman (28:23):
So some excellent stuff.
Definitely check out the WorldHappiness Report.
I know you'll gain insight andperspective both into your own
personal happiness, but also thesocietal, societal and macro for
forces that affect happiness ona global scale as well.
So in September we shifted toeverything about our mindset,
about productivity, how welearn.
(28:44):
We began it with a conversationwith Brian Levenson he's an
elite sports psychologist, anexecutive coach who wrote
incredible book called ShiftYour Mind, which highlights the
difference in mindset that weactually need to have between
preparation and performance.
And so many things clicked forme in the conversation because
there were kind of seeminglyoppos.
(29:05):
Posing parts of myself.
I'm trying to figure out wheredo you optimize this?
Where does this fit in?
And this brought so much clarityto the role of these seemingly
opposite traits and how they canhelp or hinder us, whether we
use them in preparation orwhether we use them in
performance.
So very, very useful frameworkfor me, and I know anybody that
(29:29):
listens to it will definitelyget some takeaways.
Brian Levenson (29:32):
When I would talk to my clients and we'd say,
"What do you really need whenyou're performing?" They would
say,"It's actually beyondconfidence.
I need this unshakeable beliefin myself that I'm gonna find a
way." And actually greathumility requires great
confidence.
It takes confidence to havesomeone say,"I need to get
better.
I need help." And it takesarrogance when the lights are on
and things aren't going theright way to have this
(29:54):
unshakeable belief that you'regonna find a way.
I think a lot of people areafraid to step into arrogance.
I think a lot of people areafraid to step into selfishness.
I think a lot of people areafraid to step into
perfectionism because there's alot there.
And if you overdose on any ofthose, it absolutely is toxic.
And by the way, if you'rearrogant in preparation, you're
not gonna learn anything andit's gonna hold you back
completely.
(30:15):
And by the way, if you aretrying to be perfect in
performance, it's gonna get inthe way as well.
And by the way, if you'reselfish in a performance for a
lot of team sports that is deathas well.
So the reason why those wordsget bad labels is not unjust.
They deserve it because if it'sused at the wrong time, it
absolutely can get in the way ofus getting to where we want to
(30:36):
go.
I think fear can absolutely be amotivator.
I think if it's the onlymotivator, that's where you can
run into some issues and sometrouble, if we're led by fear, I
think that can run into sometrouble.
Fearlessness is the other sideof the coin, where when we are
performing, we do need to let goof the concern.
We need to be bold.
We need to be brave.
We need to be vulnerable,courageous, whatever word you
(30:58):
wanna put there and not worryabout the outcome.
And there comes a time where youhave to say F it I'm going for
it and let's make it happen.
And I think if you've doneenough fear in preparation, then
you've earned the right to thenlet go and just say, all right,
I've done all the work.
I've thought about everythingthat could go wrong.
Do you have this story or doesthe story have you?
Do you have the anxiety or doesthe anxiety have you?
(31:19):
Do you have sadness or doessadness have you?
Do you have anger or does angerhave you?
Do you have a glass of wine ordoes wine have you?
I've learned so much from justputting that framework into my
world.
Success is I wanna work reallyhard and I wanna be home for
dinner as much as I possiblycan.
Michael Bauman (31:37):
And we just scratched the surface in the
interview.
I definitely recommend checkingout his book, Shift Your Mind.
If you wanna operate at a highlevel performance, really in any
area of your life, there are somany tools in there that you can
use to upgrade your life.
After Brian, we had Joe Sanokon, He's the author of the four
Day Work Week.
(31:58):
4 on a mission to educate theworld on the benefits of a 32
hour work week, and even theincreases in productivity
wellbeing that can achievethrough the shift.
So we dive into productivityframeworks that you can
implement to boost your ownproductivity along with how he
structures his days and weeksfor maximum productivity, while
still making a lot of time forthe things that are important to
(32:20):
us.
Joe Sanok (32:20):
The industrialist said, here's the one model.
Here's the prescription.
Everyone should follow it.
Whereas this post industrialistera we're looking at well,
what's the menu?
How do I taste that menu?
Try it, evaluate it, experimentand see if it works for me, for
my job, for my life, and thenget the data.
And if it doesn't work okay,that doesn't mean you're a bad
person.
It just means that doesn'tresonate with you.
(32:41):
And so really having that menubased model, both in work and in
your life seems to be the postindustrialist way that really
helps people find what they'relooking for.
Most of the research shows thatthe final 20% that someone works
in a 40 hour work week iscompletely useless.
They may not spend it all on aFriday, but they're slower
throughout the week because thehuman body just isn't going to
(33:01):
operate above that 32 hours.
What we see in case studies andin the research is that really,
if we just say work a 32 hourweek, but we're gonna pay you
the same that you get the sameor better outcomes.
And so there's two factors toyour sprint type.
There's what kind of work you'redoing when you're sprinting and
when you're doing it.
First we wanna look at bewhether you're a time block
(33:23):
sprinter or a task switchsprinter.
So time block sprinter issomeone that just does one task
when they're sprinting, whereassomeone that's task switching,
they have a variety of tasks.
Now they're not multi-tasking.
These are still high leveltasks.
The second part is when we doit.
So an automated sprinter issomeone that puts it in their
calendar and it just repeatsevery single week.
(33:43):
And so an automated sprinter forme when I was writing the book
every Thursday, it's just onrepeat like Thursday is the day
that I'm writing the book.
Whereas if we look at anintensive sprinter, they go away
for intensive.
So they might go to an Airbnbfor a couple days.
They find a space.
natural neuro syncing is a termwhere we're trying to align what
we're doing in our behavior andour activities with our natural
(34:05):
patterns of energy, hormones,and brainwaves.
And so just starting to observewhen do I have the most energy?
So for me, My peak energy timeis usually like 10:00 AM to
probably 1145.
Michael Bauman (34:18):
So what is your sprint type?
Are you a time block sprinter, atask switch sprinter?
Are you an automated sprinter oran intensive sprinter?
And how can you use naturalneural syncing to optimize your
day and routine?
So obviously, just like withanything, it's not the
knowledge, but what you actuallydo with it.
So what are you gonna do withthis knowledge?
How can you use this knowledgeto actually improve your
(34:41):
product?
So the last guests we had in themonth of September was Peter
Sage.
His story is so unbelievable.
It easily could be made into amovie.
He's a serial entrepreneur whowas founded over 27 companies.
He was buying Ferrari with cash,when he was 25, but his life was
miserable.
He went from that to living anunbelievably fulfilled life.
(35:02):
And oh, did I forget to mentionthat he spent six months in the
most violent prison in the UK ona trumped of charge and up
transforming it from within, sohe did that too.
It's crazy.
You cannot miss this episode.
Peter Sage (35:17):
I bought my first Ferrari for cash at 25.
I was flying Concord.
I got multiple businesses.
I could be the idiot buyingoverpriced champagne on the
private tables in thenightclubs.
Cause I thought that's what Ihad to do.
I could be the person with thefancy-schmancy suits and stuff.
Absolutely miserable.
Didn't have a life.
Completely insecure.
(35:37):
And not happy.
And I thought that this was theway to be happy.
I'm building a monster, trappingme.
Why am I doing this?
Who cares?
What good am I to the world if Iend up in a ditch, upside down
in a car that I worked my assoff to buy a and now it's going
to be the one thing that, intombs me, cause I haven't got
the energy or strength to enjoyit.
I've got more money.
(35:57):
What does that mean?
Oh, I can decorate my, theprison of my life with better
quality artwork.
Well, who wants that?
So yeah, that, that was theturning one.
When it comes to business, we'reblinded by that link of
achievements equaling goodenough validation.
And so when we're ignoring thewarning signs and it's not tight
(36:18):
pants, it's tight bloodpressure, it's relationships not
flowing.
It's forgetting, the kids sportsday because put it in the
calendar at the office, oryou're now haven't got enough
energy to have sex when you gethome, because you're too busy,
fighting dragons all day.
So I realized that I've spentmost of my life craving
significance as a vehicle to tryto get connection and approval.
(36:39):
And when I saw that, I'm like,what the hell have I been
playing?
Well, what's really mattershere?
What am I here to do?
Day 1 on the journey toemotional maturity is the day
that you realize life is growthcentric, not comfort centric.
And the second awareness thatgoes along with.
It's the day you finally become,okay.
(37:00):
Not being liked.
I get a knock on the door from ahundred million dollar law firm,
suing me for$17 million.
They froze all my accountsglobally.
They tried to squeeze me into asettlement.
I didn't want to do it.
I thought they were unjust.
Just cause you got the biggestlegal muscles in the playground,
do you want to bully the littlekids?
No, not standing for it.
Then hit me with a contempt ofcourt application saying I'd
(37:20):
breached the freezing order.
Lost my business.
I went from 50 staff to threestaff in three minutes.
I had to pay all the legal coststhat they throw at me.
I'm in a 200 year old prison.
I'm getting one shower everyfour days.
I'm managing to make one phonecall every two days and banged
up for 23 hours a day.
With murderers, terrorists,lifers, drug dealers, violent
(37:43):
crime armed robbers Yeah, quitethe adventure to be fair.
Michael Bauman (37:46):
Isn't that insane?
So if you want to hear the wholestory, which I'd highly
recommend it, it'll blow yourmind.
Check out season six, episode10.
Incredible, incredible story.
Incredible person.
So then the last month inOctober here, was all about
mental health, and I had thefirst repeat guest on, so The
(38:06):
Incredible Krista Scott Dixon,or Ksd, who is my personal coach
and friend.
She's a truly extraordinarycoach, and her episode is a
masterclass on mental health.
I'd recommend it for everybodyshe helped me tremendously
through a very difficult time inmy life, and I know you, you
will have to take a lot of notescuz everything she has to say is
(38:28):
so applicable and so real and sohonest, which is very refreshing
as well.
Krista Scott Dixon (38:34):
Hopefully if you're listening and you're
feeling like, oh my God, I'm theonly one I assure you that
you're not.
you are not alone.
It is impossible to be alone insomething that strikes deeply at
the human condition.
And that's really what this isright?
Is the human condition.
The condition of being human.
One of the frames I have foundquite useful for clients is to
(38:55):
understand that all of theseparts have a function.
They have a job, and a lot ofthem were developed at times in
our life.
Usually earlier times in ourlife, when we did not have the
full spectrum of adult mature,grown up coping tools, right?
Like our prefrontal cortex, likea lot of these kind of thinky
(39:18):
reasoning, parts of our brainare not even fully online until
our mid twentie.
Well, a lot of bad stuff canhappen between zero and 25.
Right?
And so we develop these parts tocope with whatever we experience
and in the moment that copingwas the best that we could do
given the limited toolbox.
(39:38):
So if something hard happens toyou when you're three or your
five or your 10, you're gonna besolving that problem with a
three, five or 10 year old mind.
And of course it's not gonna bea really great solution to your
30 year old self.
When I explain this to clientsand then what we do is sometimes
even find a picture of them as achild.
And with this picture in mind,talk about this child, almost
(40:02):
like a separate person, like,what do you think this little
person would've liked?
And that's very helpful becausemost of us have some kind of
like intrinsic compassion forsmall children and small
children suffering.
And the idea like, oh my God.
Yeah.
Like that stuff happened to thislittle kid and they did the best
that they could with what theyhad.
Like it starts to soften theedge of that.
(40:23):
And so first people start to seethe reason why this exists.
They start to soften towards itrather than being really harsh
about it.
And then sometimes with thatsoftening, it's almost like they
invite that part to kind ofintegrate.
So there's this multi-stageprocess of first demonstrating
whatever this thing that youdon't like it had a job to do.
(40:43):
You can see how it got the ideathat this was useful.
It helped you at the time.
It's probably no longer helpful.
Let's see if we can softentowards it, bring some
compassion and then maybeintegrate it into our current
self and also use itsuperpowers.
Right?
Sometimes these parts ofourselves are actually really
excellent at something.
(41:04):
Like my anxiety makes damn sureI don't forget my passport.
I don't forget my keys.
I'm an extremely conscientiousperson and so I'm never that
person that's forgetting alltheir stuff or like going to the
wrong appointment.
That doesn't happen.
Thanks to my anxiety.
So you can kind of also give ita job if it has superpowers,
whatever it is.
(41:25):
One of the metaphors that isoften used is you're driving a
bus and you have passengers onthe bus, right?
Maybe your anxiety is apassenger.
And your depression is apassenger.
But the goal is to make surethat the you-ness of you, the
wise self, the wise mind isdriving the bus, right?
The wise mind is something thatintegrates all that information
that our emotions give us, andthen reason and logic and
(41:48):
strategy and thinking, and itbrings them together into wisdom
and discernment.
So you want the wise minddriving the bus, but all of
these other parts of yourselfcan be passengers and you can
hear them.
You can be like,"Oh, heyanxiety.
What's up?
What do we need to worry abouttoday?" Okay, cool.
Let me write that down.
And then you can go back to yourseat, your job is done.
We're good.
(42:08):
We got it from here.
Michael Bauman (42:09):
I love the bus metaphor and how we can allow
the parts of ourselves that wemay not like to be the
passengers on the bus and evenleverage their superpowers that
they've honed protecting us allthese years.
So I thought that was excellent.
Curious to hear what stood outmost to you.
Cuz there's so much in there.
And so after Ksd, another guestwe had in October was Lettie
Gore.
(42:29):
So she's a black historian thatworks tirelessly to educate
people about the overlookedparts of history that contribute
to systemic racism that we seeplaying out across the world
today.
She is a wealth of resources andknowledge, and this episode will
definitely change how you viewhistory and hopefully even your
personal behaviors and how youinteract with people that may be
(42:50):
different
Lettie Gore (42:52):
There's this issue with history and memory.
People create these verycomfortable truths to feel good
about themselves to holdthemselves up.
You can't just look at historyin a vacuum.
History is not linear, right?
Everything in history isconnected.
You can't talk about racism andyou can't talk about white
(43:13):
supremacy without doing your owninternal work.
Right.
And in order to do your owninternal work, you have to
understand that's gonna comewith being uncomfortable.
You gotta do that work.
That's on you.
That's no one else'sresponsibility, When we talk
about the word freedom, and wetalk about the word free.
We hear these words, our wholelives.
(43:34):
What does that really meanthough?
Freedom for who?
Who gets to decide what freedomis?
Freedom for me, is not having toworry about how is racism gonna
affect me in this situation?
Freedom is being able to feelthat joy in a way where you
don't have to turn it off.
(43:56):
You don't have to tone it down.
You don't have to worry about itbeing taken away by society.
Michael Bauman (44:02):
So finally we had Luke Tyburski on the show.
He is an ultra enduranceathlete, and when I mean ultra,
I mean ultra.
So he did a 2000 kilometerultimate triathlon where he swam
from Africa to Spain through thestraight of Gibraltar, cycled a
random Monaco in 12 days.
Unreal.
(44:23):
But the true gold in his storyis how he pulls back the curtain
on his deep struggle withdepression, of not knowing who
he was, his binge-eating, andeven suicidal ideation.
He shares how we all have thesecrutches, these things that we
use to hide from the deep painthat we feel.
(44:44):
And at some point we have to bewilling to face that truly
inspirational fellow and trulyinspirational.
Luke Tyburski (44:51):
So I had this huge loss of identity that I was
battling with in the moment Iwas depressed, suffering with
depression, and I thought thissucks.
I dunno what to do.
And then on a whim, because Ididn't wanna sit in that moment
(45:11):
and be present in that momentand feel the feelings I was
having and assess the situationbecause it was too painful for
me.
I did what I thought was a greatidea at the time.
And that was to sign up to oneof the toughest ultra-marathons
in the world.
(45:33):
255 kilometers in seven daysthrough the middle of the Sahara
desert, carrying everything inyour backpack, six marathons in
seven days, self supported I wasliterally running away from my
pain, running away from notknowing who I was.
The real deep answer to how Iwas able to push myself when I
was going through all thesereally difficult physical
(45:54):
moments during theseultra-marathons and ultra
triathlons was the pain that Iwas feeling deep down.
I was struggling withdepression.
The only time I felt alive and Ifelt myself and I felt like I
had energy and power was when Iwas out running or over the
years as they progressedswimming and cycling.
(46:14):
When I was training, when I waspushing myself, that's when I
felt alive.
As soon as I stopped, Iplummeted into depression
because I didn't know who I was.
So that deep rooted pain.
Was the thing that was reallypushing me when things got
tough, difficult, because it wasa case of I can stop doing this
(46:37):
stuff and to make the pain goaway, open up, and speak about
the pain that I was goingthrough.
Or I can use that pain to fuelme and quite literally, and
figuratively run away from it.
2015 before I did my 2000kilometer in 12 day Ultimate
Triathlon from Morocco to Monacowhere I swam the Gibraltar
(46:59):
strait between Spain and Africa,cycled the Southeast coast of
Spain and then ran from theSpanish French border to Monaco
in 12 days.
I was a keynote speaker.
I'd traveled around the worldspeaking about the big
adventures I'd been on.
I'd had countless magazinesarticles written about me.
I had different brands who weresponsoring me.
And my mental health wasplummeting outta control I just
(47:22):
felt like the world was fallingon top of me.
And I laid down in the sunshineon the concrete, in the back
garden, on the path in the fetalposition and cried.
I opened up and started to talkabout the standing on top of a
bridge, the binge eating theinsomnia, the depression, and
the severity of the depressionwith friends and family.
(47:46):
And then I started to add someof that into my keynote talks.
Wouldn't it be really cool toshow that no matter what color
you are, where you come from orhow good it looks on the outside
that from a human level, we canall be going through some really
nasty stuff.
Michael Bauman (48:04):
So there you have it.
Season six of SuccessEngineering is in the Bag.
Thank you for taking thisjourney with me.
I'm so honored to have theprivilege to be able to.
Talk to such a diverse group ofworld leaders and experts to
really dive into how we candefine and create success in our
lives.
So I'll see everyone back inJanuary where we'll bring on
(48:26):
some amazing guests to help youcompletely change your physical
health from the inside out.
I already have some lined up.
I'm excited for it.
Thanks so much for listening.
Enjoy the holiday season andkeep engineering your success.
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com