S6E12 Luke Tyburski: 2000km Triathlon in 12days and the Dark Side of Elite Performance...

The ULTIMATE Triathlon: 2000km in 12 days! Swimming from Morocco to Spain, then cycling and running to Monaco in 12 days!

Luke Tyburski is one of the most elite ultra-endurance athletes alive! He was named by Forever Sports Magazine as one of the top 50 fittest athletes in the world in 2016.
He has completed the Marathon de Sables a 250km 7-day marathon through the Sahara desert, ran 660km from the bottom of Ireland to the top,  among many, many more.

But behind all the magazine articles, podcasts, and TV interviews, his mental health was plummeting out of control. He struggled with severe depression, binge eating 2-3tubs of ice cream a night, and even got to the point of standing on a bridge debating about taking his own life...

His story is a story of running from pain (literally), finding vulnerability, and the incredible power (positive and negative) of mental strength and resilience.


Website:
www.luketyburski.com
-You can get his book Chasing the Extreme here...
- Along with 5 Free ebooks on everything from building confidence to the attitude of success, self-reflection, and more!

All social media @luketyburski

Episode Transcript

Luke Tyburski (00:00):
2015 before I did my 2000 kilometer in 12 day
Ultimate Triathlon from Moroccoto Monaco where I swam the
Gibraltar strait between Spainand Africa, cycled the Southeast
coast of Spain and then ran fromthe Spanish French border to
Monaco in 12 days.
I was a keynote speaker.
I'd traveled around the worldspeaking about the big

(00:20):
adventures I'd been on.
I'd had countless magazinesarticles written about me.
I had different brands who weresponsoring me.
And my mental health wasplummeting outta control I just
felt like the world was fallingon top of me.
And I laid down in the sunshineon the concrete, in the back

(00:42):
garden, on the path in the fetalposition and cried.

Michael Bauman (01:27):
Welcome back to Success Engineering.
I'm your host, Michael Baumanand I have Luke Tyburski on the
show today.
He's a keynote speaker.
He's an event host.
An ultra endurance athlete.
And when, I mean ultraendurance, it's the Marathon de
Sables, so a 250 kilometer sevenday marathon through the Sahara
desert, running 660 kilometersfrom the bottom of Ireland to
the top, running down Everest,doing an ultimate triathlon.

(01:49):
So 2000 kilometers from Moroccoto Monaco in 12 days, Absolutely
insane.
And this is just something wecould take the whole podcast, be
just listening off the racestuff, but of the races he's
done, but really excited to haveyou on this show.
Pleasure to have you here.

Luke Tyburski (02:02):
Hm, Michael, it's an absolute pleasure.
And thank you for having me on.
I'm excited to dive into allthings life, endurance sports,
and what we can learn from themand why they are intertwined
between living your best lifeand what I've learned from my
ultra endurance challenges.

Michael Bauman (02:19):
Absolutely.
And along those lines, the superserious lines.
I wanted to start with thepropeller cap.
And I want to hear the storyaround your propeller cap.

Luke Tyburski (02:28):
I must admit.
I've done quite a few podcastsover the years and interviews
from different mediums and, it'snot always, but every now and
again, there's someone who justsays like, first question, I
need to know what's the dealwith the propeller cap.
So whenever I run in a race or achallenge or event, or even
sometimes if I'm, so, as youmentioned, I'm an event host if

(02:49):
it's an event to do withrunning, I'll even wear this.
It's quite literally amulticolored cap with a
propeller on top and the windspins.
It actually spins around andwhen I run, it actually spins as
well.
So yeah.
Where did it come from?
It was, I was doing a hundredmile running race many years ago

(03:11):
and my, it was a big race.
There was quite a few hundredpeople doing it and I thought,
well, I'm gonna be at aidstations and there's gonna be a
lot going on.
So I thought, oh, I'll have towear something.
So my crew can spot me.
And I thought, oh yeah, that's agood idea.
And then I was just randomly inthis like homeware store in

(03:32):
London here where I live with afriend.
And she just said, you shouldwear that hat for your hundred
mile.
And I was just like, joking,like yeah, sure.
I went and grabbed it.
And it's actually a kid's hatit's they're made for kids so I
put it on and sort of adjustedthe back with the Velcro and put
it on she's like, that isawesome.
And she took a photo and I'mlike, actually it's pretty

(03:56):
comfortable.
and it was like two pounds.
Right.
So I thought, yeah, I'm justgonna buy it.
Yeah.
I'll wear it for my a hundredmile.
So I thought, yeah, that's it.
But, as a, as an experiencedathlete, I know that you can't
just wear something brand new onrace day.
You've gotta wear it inpractice, in training.
So here's the thing that reallykept the propeller cap pun

(04:17):
intended, spinning and using itwhen I'm running now.
And this is like 2013.
When I first started wearing it,I think, or 2014, when I wore it
in training, I started to runpast people and people
constantly smiled at me.
People started giving me thumbsup.
People were like, dude, that'san awesome hat.

(04:38):
I absolutely love it.
And then there was this oneinstant when I was like six
hours into like a seven hourtraining run or whatever it was
for this a hundred mile race.
And I was just tired.
I'd had enough running.
I just wanted to be home.
And I knew I still had like anhour to go.
And I came around this bend inthis park where I was running
in.

(04:58):
There was a father and son.
The son must have been about 12and they both looked at me.
Gave me this big smile and justgave me a thumbs up and like,
mate, that is an awesome hat.
And then it made me smile and itmade me feel energized.
It made me feel amazing.
And I gave them a thumbs up andsaid, thanks guys.

(05:20):
You're awesome.
And I ran off and I had thishuge amount of uplifting energy
feeling inside of me because Isaw them smile.
I knew I made their day or thatmoment in the day, a little bit
better because they saw thismulticolor propeller cap
spinning on a grown ass man whois running and then them smiling

(05:41):
made me smile.
And I smiled from the outsidein, and it energized me.
And that last hour flew by justcause I felt amazing.
And from that training run on, Ijust thought, you know what?
I've gotta wear this when Itrain.
And when I run and I've done itpretty much ever since.

Michael Bauman (05:58):
And is that the main thing it symbolizes for
you?
Like just that bringing otherpeople joy, but then also
internally, like how that shiftssifts your state?

Luke Tyburski (06:05):
I think, yeah, like when you go a little bit
deeper into it, but it's justfun.
Cool.
It's fun.
And it shows us that you don'thave to take yourself too
serious in life.
And here I am I'm a grown man.
Sometimes I run down the mainstreet of suburbs in London.
I've worn it running throughcentral London and people just
love it.
They think it's great becausethey expect like a seven year

(06:28):
old kid to wear something likethis, not a grown man running,
and I just think it, it reallysort of highlights part of my
character.
I'm very sort of happy go luckyand relaxed and sort of, I don't
take myself too serious at all.
Never have, but it also shows usthat we can be playful in life
and it's okay to not conform to.

(06:49):
What you perceive others shouldlook like, or you perceive you
should fit into the societythat, you live in.
So it's just, yeah, it's justfun.
It's playful.
And it just shows that, it'sokay to not take yourself too
seriously and that, smiling iscontagious.

Michael Bauman (07:05):
I love that.
Cuz like you mentioned, it'svery representative of you so
love that.
Thank you for that answer.
Backtracking a little bit.
I want to talk about your dreamsas a kid of becoming a
footballer, from a, ruralcountry town in Australia and
realizing those dreams, but thenwhat happened after that as
well.

Luke Tyburski (07:23):
Yeah.
You asked Luke at three or fouryears of age, you asked him at
10, you asked him at 12, 14, 16,what are you going to do or be
when you get older and it was beprofessional soccer player.
That was it.
Now I didn't come from a city ora town or even a country where

(07:45):
soccer was like the number one.
And everyone wanted to do that.
Like there's half a dozen sportsin Australia that people want to
play professionally beforesoccer.
And my parents didn't play, butmy uncle played and that's where
my interest sort of lied.
I wanted to be like my uncle.
He was a cool uncle.
And so I, yeah I wanted to playsoccer, like my uncle Phil and I

(08:08):
played ever since I was fouryears of age.
And that was it.
That's all I ever wanted to donow.
Did I show any talent growing upthat I was any good.
No, no, it wasn't like, yeah,like I played from, I was four
and by the time I was 12, I waslike, killing or anything like
that.
No, I was last picked on my, andI say last picked because I

(08:32):
played the least amount ofminutes every year for our
local, just our local townrepresentative team never even
made like the regional teamwasn't even, looked at for that,
or wasn't even looked at forlike the state team or anything
like that.
It was the last one pickedbecause some games I didn't even
play, some seasons where therepresentative season might have

(08:54):
been like, say 12 games.
I might have played 10 minutesin three or four of those games.
And that was it.
Like, I wasn't very good.
And our town wasn't very big so,yeah.
And then.
I just loved kicking a ballaround.
So I was, and it comes also, Ithink this will be a, something
that we'll touch on at timesthroughout.
But I look back now and realizethat I had some significant

(09:19):
mentors in my life as I wasgrowing up, not just coaches or
people or adults who I wasaffiliated with, but I had one
coach from a very young age andhe would encourage us to get a
tennis ball and kick the ball upagainst the fence, or kick the
ball up against a brick wall topractice at home and use a
tennis ball, not a soccer ballbecause it's smaller.

(09:39):
So you gotta be more precise.
Now.
I knew what I wanted to be whenI got older.
So I really harnessed thistechnique of doing repetitions
day after day after day to getbetter.
Now we can translate this to allwalks of life.
So, but this was installed withme.

(10:01):
I'm talking six and seven.
When my coach bill Casey's namewas installed that into us, his
son played on the team and hewas just a dad helping out bunch
of kids.
But this was one of the thingsthat he taught us.
So then my work ethic from ayoung age was quite high because
of, I was in, this was installedwith me, Also my parents working
class family.
Very much, if you wanna, if youwant to give yourself a chance

(10:23):
to be successful, you've gottaput the work in bottom line and
they really installed twothings, a hard work ethic, but
knowing at the same time, justbecause you work hard doesn't
mean you will be success.
And I think that's reallyimportant to get your head
around because we think, well,if we work hard, we're gonna
achieve success.
As you get older, you realizelife is not fair and it doesn't

(10:44):
work like that.
It gives you a chance to besuccessful.
And the other thing my parentsinstilled into me was curiosity,
if you wanna go and achievethat, okay, go and put the work
in.
Let's see what happens.
But if you don't put the workin, you're definitely not gonna
be successful, but you canachieve whatever you want, as
long as you put the work in andit could give you a chance.

(11:06):
So if you think you can do it,let's go and see.
So these are the things that myparents installed to me from a
very young age.
And over the years of 12, 13,and 14, the work ethic, the
curiosity that if I keeptraining as hard as I could,
maybe I could become better.
Maybe I could make the regionalteam.

(11:28):
And that was like mind blowing.
I wanted to get that for ourregion.
It was green and red tracksuit.
It was like, I want to get thesetracksuit that says Western
region on it.
And I'm gonna be cool, like allthe other cool kids.
And that, that was thatcuriosity of like, can I make
that team next year?
Try it out.
No, can I make that team nextyear?
Try it out.
No, if I keep training hard, canI make it the following year?

(11:50):
So the reason why I tell youthis story in this way is so the
combination of hard work, butknowing if I work hard, I'm not
necessarily gonna be successful,but it gives myself a chance.
The curiosity of like, what if Ican, what if I just set myself
up for success and see whathappens and give myself the best
chance.
And then it was this reallysupportive community of my

(12:13):
family, of being curious.
Just keep going for it everyyear.
Just keep going for it, learnfrom the experience and then go
again.
All of that combined with thehours of kicking a ball up
against a wall and juggling asoccer ball.
And then I grew, I had a growthspurt and this sort of

(12:34):
uncoordinated unathletic 13, 14year old kid, all of a sudden,
hit puberty, right in the middleof smack bang in the bull's eye,
got some muscles grew a coupleof inches, and then all of a
sudden could actually run in astraight line So, which helps
when you playing football yeah.

(12:55):
And could control his body.
Right.
And he put those together.
All of a sudden I went from thelast kid, picked in the local
team.
To being picked for the stateteam and being looked at for the
national under 17 squad.

(13:15):
Wow.
I'm getting phone calls frompeople.
I didn't even know who theywere, but they just told me
their job title.
And I'm like, okay, I know thatjob title.
like, you're calling from SoccerAustralia.
Like what the hell's going onhere?
I haven't even made the west.
I haven't even got my green andred Western region tracksuit
yet.
And you are already offeringyour chance to get a blue, new

(13:38):
south Wales state tracksuit.
I'm like, and even a green andgold Australian one, I'm like
what's going on.
So from 15 to 17, people wouldlook at it as an overnight
success.
All of a sudden, I didn't getpicked for anything.
Luke got picked for the stateteam, went and played at the
national championships, made theAustralian like the watch squad

(14:00):
for the under 17 team.
At 15, 16 I play, I moved frommy hometown.
I moved three and a half hoursaway while I was still at high
school to play for aprofessional club.
The reserve team wasn'tprofessional.
So I was playing at 16 years ofage against the best 20 year
olds in the country, flying togames, having to leave school at

(14:21):
lunchtime on a Friday, becausewe had a game on Saturday in
another state and we had to flythere.
It was so cool.
I don't think you'd get awaywith it now, but yeah, so I, all
of a sudden, no one knew who Iwas in the state in the country.
And I was now this, like, thisreally good player that everyone
was talking about to a smalldegree.

(14:43):
So.
I did get a little bit of well,where's he come from?
Like, his overnight success.
And I was like, well, no, butI've been working my backside
off for the last 10 years.
So it was that time where Ireally felt like, Hey, like I
could really achieve this goalor being a professional soccer
player.
And then I played in Australia,I played in Sydney in the top

(15:03):
leagues.
For a few years, I was playingagainst grown men at the age of
18/19 some in the top league.
And then without going ontangent, the top league in
Australia folded because theywere revamping the competition a
bit like the MLS in the us yearsago they got rid of the top

(15:24):
league of soccer over there.
And they started the MLS witheight teams.
Australia did the same thing.
The, A league started with eightteams flew professional first
team of reserve team.
There you go.
But that league, wasn't gonnastart for two years.
So here I am.
I'm 20 in Australia.
Oh, wow.
Without a top league.
And it's like, well, I've gottatry and progress somehow.

(15:45):
So I went to the states,finished off my exercise science
degree that I was doing on theside while I was playing soccer
and played out there in thelower professional leagues.
And then I was like, right.
It's time for me to go to Europeand throw my hat into the ring.
And I had some short stints inEngland and then ended up going
to Belgium and played out therein the lower leagues and then

(16:07):
came back to the UK to try andplay.
And then I spent most of thenext three years being injured,
recovering, being injured,recovering, being injured,
recover.
Not really having a full-timecontract.
I was getting month deals, threemonth deals, things like this.
And after three years, and atthe ripe old age of 28, I

(16:31):
decided to retire from football.

Michael Bauman (16:35):
So, I mean, you literally, like you said, I
mean, you've had this dream whenyou're like three or four years
old and you're living thisdream, but in some ways it
wasn't measuring up to the dreamthat you were thinking it would
be, and things just started tobreak down both, physically and
then also mentally as well.
Can you talk about, when youdecided to stop playing what
that did to you and what thatdid to your identity in the

(16:57):
period following that, thatpoint?

Luke Tyburski (17:00):
Yeah.
So leading up to, when Iretired, as I said, I suffered
many injuries when I was in theworst phase of this period, I
had three surgeries on differentbody parts in 11 months.
Wow.
Now that is a lot of surgery.
That is a lot of scans.
That is a lot of, generalanesthetic.

(17:21):
So my body felt I got used to itfeeling average at best.
But it got to a point where Iwas just like, with all these
different injuries that I washaving, there was no sort of one
big one.
There was lots of them.
I became depressed and I haddepression.
It sort of compounded from, andthe way that I describe it was

(17:42):
we all can get depressed whensomething doesn't go right.
And we, and that's a feeling,right?
It's a feeling, it's an emotion.
We get depressed.
My own personal definition ofwhere I saw myself going from
being depressed because I wasinjured, being depressed because
my livelihood wasn't there.
Like I wasn't making any moneyfor periods of time.

(18:03):
So I wasn't getting in the nextcontract where it went from
being depressed to havingdepression was when I stopped
living on a daily basis, I waswithdrawing myself from society.
I was altering how I thought andacted on a regular basis on

(18:24):
consecutive days.
So for an example, I was in ahouse share with a couple of
friends and I, would wake up inthe morning, super depressed and
just like, I can't deal with theworld.
And I would just yell out to myhousemates and say, Hey, like
I'm heading out now.
I'll see you guys later.
They had nine to fives.
I'll see you tonight when youget home from work.

(18:45):
Yeah, no worries.
Open the front door, close itquietly.
Sneak back into my room and layin bed all day.
And then when I hear them allcome home in the night, I would
come out of my room, pretendingI, got home just before they
did.
So I was with withdrawing myselffrom society and changing my
actions on a daily basis.
That's looking back on it now.
I didn't realize at the time,that's when I really started to

(19:08):
struggle with depression andthis lasted four months before I
decided to retire.
And then I suppressed thisfeeling, this emotion, because
when I retired, I had this hugeloss of identity.
As I said, you asked Luke at 3,10, 12, 14, 16, even when he was

(19:29):
playing and being paid.
Sorry to talk about myself inthe third person, but it'll make
sense.
Even when he was being paid toplay, like, I didn't really make
any money from soccer.
I didn't have to work, but Ididn't really, I didn't have any
savings at the end of my career.
Now who am I?
I had no idea I had, no, Ididn't wanna do anything else in
life.
So I had this huge loss ofidentity that I was battling

(19:52):
with in the moment I wasdepressed, suffering with
depression, and I thought thissucks.
I dunno what to do.
And then on a whim, because Ididn't wanna sit in that moment
and be present in that momentand feel the feelings I was

(20:13):
having and assess the situationbecause it was too painful for
me.
Back then at 28 years of age,I'm now 39.
I did what I thought was a greatidea at the time.
And that was to sign up to oneof the toughest ultra-marathons
in the world.

(20:33):
255 kilometers in seven daysthrough the middle of the Sahara
desert, carrying everything inyour backpack, six marathons in
seven days, self supported.
And I'd never even ran more than10 kilometers in one go in my
entire life.
And the race was in six months.
I called them up and I paid mydeposit to get a place for that

(20:54):
race.
And I did that on the same daythat I retired while laying down
in my bedroom, icing my calf.
That was the last injury to sortof seal my retirement because I
was like that tunnel to my left.
So to speak retiring loss ofidentity depression, I ain't

(21:14):
going down that right now.
So I'm gonna go in a completelydifferent way.
And I went down the Marathon deSables way..
I mean, you literally take,running from your brain and you
Made it, and that was it.
I was literally running awayfrom my pain, running away from
not knowing who I was.
And I know this sounds reallysort of like random.
How did you come up to theMarathon De Sables?

(21:35):
The reason why that race wasbecause I had friends in
Australia who were doing Ironmantriathlons and marathons, and
one of them started to doultra-marathons.
So running a race, anythinglonger than a marathon.
And I'd only spoken to one of mymates, very Aussie now, nickname
Baz must have been like a monthbefore.
And he on the phone that wechatted, like he was telling me

(21:56):
about this crazy race in theSahara desert, where you
literally run six marathons inseven days and all that sort of
stuff.
And he was telling me about it.
And I thought he was lying.
Like, I didn't think it was areal race.
I thought there's no one thatcan do that.
And he is telling me about itand I thought, yeah, now you're
just making up.
This is ridiculous.
People will die doing that.
This was my mindset.
This is what I thought aboutultra endurance stuff.

(22:17):
And then for whatever reason, itpopped into my head when I was
laying there in my bedroom,icing my calf.
And I just thought, you knowwhat?
That is a complete oppositething.
And that is a way that I candistract myself from the pain
that I was going through.
And I can focus on that and Ican distract everyone around me
cuz they're like, well nowyou're retired.
What are you gonna do?
I'm doing the Marathon De Sablesjust in six months.

(22:39):
I've gotta focus on that andtrain for that.
They're not gonna ask me anymorequestions about retiring from
football.
How do I feel now?
What are you gonna do?
Because I'm running sixmarathons through the middle of
the Sahara desert in seven daysin only six months time.
I've gotta focus on that.
So that was the wholetransition.

Michael Bauman (22:57):
Yeah.
And.
Can you talk about, I mean, soyou trained for this six months
and, day one, 20 kilometers inthings already start to go
wrong.

Luke Tyburski (23:07):
So when you train for these big events and
increasing the volume, you'vegotta do it gradually.
So I had six months to go from abroken down, injured footballer
with a torn calf to run throughthe desert.
So after my calf healed, Itrained way too much, too early.
I was doing way too muchrunning.

(23:27):
And over the coming months, Igot what is called runner's
knee, which is a IIB band ITBissue.
So before I went out, I had acouple of cortisone injections,
which are, they were never gonnawork.
It was just like, let's just doit to might give you some
relief, but you know, it's notreally gonna hold up for the
whole week and went out thereand ran along felt great.

(23:51):
And then after about 20kilometers, I just felt this
sharp, hot stabbing pain on theoutside of my knee.
And that's what it is.
It's it's inflamed irritatedthick tissue flicking over every
time you bend your knee, itflicks over the bone on your
knee.
So when you're running orwalking, every time you take a

(24:12):
step, if you bend your knee, itflicks, it's like a hot, sharp
stabbing pain in the outside ofyour knee.
That was after 20 Ks on thefirst day.
So I was like, this is gonna bea long week.
So crazy.
yeah.
So that was sort of theintroduction to that.
And I got blisters because, Ididn't realize how badly my feet
sweat in the heat.

(24:33):
Like I, I went out to Australiaover Christmas time and ran
through the summer there.
But, we were running in 45 to 50degree temperature Celsius.
One day it was 52 degreesCelsius and that was hot.
But my feet sweat a lot.
And what happened was my feetgot so wet with sweat.
As, if your skin stays in watertoo long, it gets really soft.

(24:55):
And then if you imagine, ifyou're rubbing it together, like
wet paper, it just pulls apart.
So I degloved some of my toes,like literally, if you just
grabbed your skin on your toeand just pulled it off,
literally like a rubber glovefinger.
That's what my skin on my toedid.
So then these got infected.
I was on Penicillin on daythree, like on antibiotics

(25:19):
because of my toes were soinfected.
So I felt like I had, I wasrunning on razor blades in my
shoes with with the infectedtoes and the de glub toes and
the saying blisters.
Then my knee that my knee wasthe worst, like that hurt the
most, the toes were gruesome.
And like they were painful, butmy knee was worse and I got a, I

(25:40):
was severely dehydrated on dayfour on the double marathon day
because I had a I got a stomachbug on, on day three.
I had diarrhea and vomiting.
So after 20 kilometers out of80, on the long day, I was
stopped at the aid station andthey're like, You can't go on.
You're too severely dehydrated.

(26:01):
We either pull you outta therace now, or you have an
intravenous drip.
And in this race, one of thecraziest things, right, is if
you have an intravenous drip,which I'm gonna say this in full
context, if you have anintravenous drip in the middle
of the Sahara desert during thisrace to potentially save your
life or minimize the risk ofsevere damage to your body, you

(26:25):
get a time penalty.
So, I didn't even care aboutthat, but I got a two hour time
penalty.
I had this drip and they said,if you can pee afterwards, then
we'll let you go.
So I had this drip for about twohours.
I paid and off, I went tocomplete the 60 kilometers for
the rest of that day.
That night I finished like threeor four in the morning.

(26:45):
So to say, I got my money'sworth from the Marathon De
Sables was an understatement Ifinished the race, I completed
it and it took me seven or eightmonths before I started running
again.
After the race, my toes healed.
I had minor surgery in Morocco,from the doctors there.
And then back in London with thepodiatrist I had here to cut out

(27:07):
just infected flesh.
That was never gonna healproperly.
Circulation in my toes going on10 years now, later, still not
the same.
wow.
I still have they're stillaffected and they always will be
from that.
And yeah, then it was a case oflike, okay, now we're back in
London.
Now I've recovered from this.
People are starting to ask me,what are you gonna do now with

(27:28):
the rest of your life, your 28.
you've got your whole life aheadof you, so to speak what's next.
And I just told everyone I'mgonna be an endurance
adventurer, and I'm gonna dothese big challenges all around
the world.
Write books about them, speak onstages, doing keynote talks
about them.
Write magazine articles,collaborate with other people

(27:49):
and other brands.
Have documentaries created aboutthese challenges, that's gonna
be my new life.
And you can imagine, this is2012, very different to today's
world.
You could imagine what peoplethought when I told them that
was gonna be my new life.
You're crazy.

Michael Bauman (28:05):
Well, do it, the ultras just a general is special
type to do that, but yeah.
So I'm curious on that.
And this can apply to all thethings that you do as well.
Like what, what kept you goingwhen you like 20 kilometers in
you have excruciating pain doingpretty much any running or up
and down the sand dunes, likewhat kept you going, what was
the mindset that you actuallyhad to be able to be able to

(28:28):
accomplish that?

Luke Tyburski (28:29):
So there's two answers to this.
There's the superficial answer.
And then there's the deep answerand they're both relevant.
So the superficial answer isthis when I.
And this is why I always give alittle bit more detail to my
story as a teenager, when I wentthrough that growth spur.
And when I started to make thosebig representative teams growing

(28:51):
up in the nineties in Australiawas a as a blessing as an
athlete because we had the 2000Olympics in Sydney and the
country and have the country hasalways, but the country was
pumping a lot of money intosport because we had the
Olympics and it filtered acrossall the sports to a degree.
So think about this in 1997/98I'm like 14, 15 year old kids.

(29:18):
And we're away at these campswith these representative teams
and we are doing yoga.
We're doing mindfulnesspractices.
We're doing breathing exercises.
We're doing meditation.
We're doing relaxationtechniques, all the stuff that
is cool today.
Yeah.
We were being taught this asteenage boys in the mid nineties

(29:41):
in Australia.
Wow.
So like to be exposed to that atyoung age is one thing, but to
actually buy into it was anothernow I'm pretty sure I was
probably the only one on theteam that did buy into it
because all my friends, like youcan imagine you're laying there
on your back doing breathingexercises, eyes closed in this

(30:01):
candle lit room with incenseburning 14 year old, 15 year old
boys, the amount of people thatwere punching each other in the
nuts and stuff like that wasridiculous, but I got into it
and since then I've continued.
And also when we're at trainingcamps and even at tournaments,
We would have like a 20 minutesession with a sports

(30:22):
psychologist at the end of eachtraining session at the end of
each game, that would travelwith us.
So, wow.
Not because there's anythingwrong with it from a mental
perspective, but how can webecome better from a mental
strength perspective duringtraining and games?
How can we work on the mentalside of being an athlete?
So I got exposed to that from avery young age, and as I said, I
bought into it.
So the tools that I was taughtas a 14, 15 year old, 16 year

(30:46):
old as well was in the samesystem then.
And then I got curious andbought some books, getting
sports, nutrition, books, andsports psychology books as a 14,
15, 16 year old kid was justweird, especially back then.
But it was like a learningprocess for me.
The superficial answer of as thequestion that you asked about
you, how what's the mindset ofwhen your 20 K's down, the

(31:06):
week's gonna be long, cuz yourknee's gone.
It was a case of using all thesesports psychology or
performance, psychology tools,mindfulness practices,
meditation, meditative practicesthat I've been exposed to and
been practicing at that stagefor 14 years.
Wow.
To help me push through and notfocus on my knee, focus on the

(31:30):
things I can control.
When the pain is really bad,just focus on my breathing and
take some big, deeper breaths,do some box breathing to, to
stay focused in the moment, allthese things that I'm talking
through.
Do different distractionexercises at times, but also at
the same time, go and do thatchecklist, head to toe
checklist, all these things thatwere taught back then.

(31:52):
That's how I wasn't able to pushmyself physically because I've
been training my mind and I stayon a daily basis.
And these techniques that I wastaught as a young kid, and then
dove into psychology myselfstill to this day, I'm 39, so
I've been doing it for a longtime, 25 years, ish.

(32:14):
Wow.
So I've been training my mind tooptimize my performance and use
the performance as a globalterm.
So that's a superficial answerof, and I mean it, from the true
meaning of the word, just on thesurface, that's my answer for
them.
The real deep answer to how Iwas able to push myself when I

(32:36):
was going through all thesereally difficult physical
moments during theseultra-marathons and ultra
triathlons was the pain that Iwas feeling deep down.
I like I was struggling withdepression.
The only time I felt alive and Ifelt myself and I felt, like I
had energy and power was when Iwas out running or over the

(32:56):
years as they progressedswimming and cycling.
When I was training, when I waspushing myself, that's when I
felt alive.
As soon as I stopped, Iplummeted into depression
because I didn't know who I was.
I still had this loss ofidentity.
I had no idea what I was gonnado with my life.
Even though I forecast I wasgonna be this endurance

(33:17):
adventure and do all these bigchallenges, but I had no idea
how I was gonna figure that out.
And then I was dealing withbeing depressed and then as time
moved on that depression led onto other things that I'm sure
we'll get onto in, in a momentfrom binge eating to insomnia,
to not wanting to live anymoreand take my life standing on top
of bridges.
So that deep rooted pain.

(33:40):
Was the thing that was reallypushing me when things got
tough, difficult, because it wasa case of I can stop doing this
stuff and to make the pain goaway, open up, and speak about
the pain that I was goingthrough.
Or I can use that pain to fuelme and quite literally, and
figuratively run away from it.

(34:01):
I can use that to fuel my fire,to shoot me off in the opposite
direction of actually stoppingand facing what I'm feeling and
what I'm going through.
Yeah, I appreciate you.
I appreciate you giving both ofthose answers.
I mean, there's a couple ofquestions that I have on that
one.
And this applies to a lot ofhigh performers.

(34:21):
Like they have things thatthey're struggling with in their
past or whatever.
And they use that just like yousaid, they use that.
I mean, we develop as inchildhood and as kids these
protective mechanisms that keepus alive and we leverage'em to
accomplish incredible things.
But at the same time, one I'mcurious is when did that start

(34:43):
to shift for you?
And when did you start to golike, I'm gonna actually work
through this and let this go.
And two.
How did you work through thefear of like, if I let this go,
the thing that's driving me toachieve all these things, will I
like, what will I be withoutthat?
Or will I still be able toachieve these, feats these

(35:03):
accomplishments?
I'll answer that question first.
Cause it's a simple answer.
I always knew I had enough drivemental strength, grit internal
motivation is probably the bestway to describe it.
I have limitless as we all do,but I know I have limitless
internal motivation.

(35:24):
I know if I set myself up towhat is it that I want to do?
Why do I want to do it?
And what is it gonna take for meto have a chance to achieve it?
Then I have limit this internalmotivation.
So that was a case of.
It sounds really odd, but Ialmost looked at that as an

(35:46):
external motivator.
The pain I was feeling insidebecause I knew that it could go
away.
I knew I could get rid of it,but I wasn't ready.
I wasn't strong enough to sharethat part of what I was going
through.
So in terms of, oh if I try andremove this pain, if I try and

(36:07):
speak about this pain, if I tryand get rid of it, where does
that lead me in terms of howbeing able to push myself and
accomplish these things?
I didn't even cross my mindbecause deep down, I've always
known that the amount ofinternal motivation and I know
it is limitless.
And when, you have that powerand you have a structure of, to
sort of like an oil wells so tospeak, like you have the

(36:29):
structure down into the ground,and soon as you've hit that that
oil is like, okay, is this gonnacome up whenever I want, but
you've gotta build thatstructure, very bad, not a great
analogy, but I think it gets thepoints.
Yeah.
Yeah.
First thing that came to mind,never used that again.
But so there was never that, butthe other side to that, the
other question you asked waswhere, like, when did it happen

(36:50):
to sort of start opening up?
There's two parts to it.
It's almost like I open the gateslightly and then I shut it and
then the whole fence fell downand I'll explain this in second.
I opened it up to sort of, okay,let's let this out now.
And it sort of was good for asecond, but it was just the gate
just lets the door a little bitand then I closed it and then

(37:12):
everything just collapsed aroundit.
So I didn't even choose toactually process it.
And this happened 2015 before Idid my 2000 kilometer in 12 day,
ultimate triathlon from Moroccoto Monaco where I swam the
Gibraltar strait between Spainand Africa.
cycled the Southeast coast ofSpain and then ran from the
Spanish French border to Monacoin 12 days.

(37:35):
the months leading up to this.
That year 20 15 was the big yearI was gonna do my big challenge.
It was gonna put me on the mapand for context, I was a keynote
speaker.
I'd traveled around the world.
Speaking about the bigadventures I'd been on.
I'd been on some of the world'sbiggest podcasts back then as
well.

(37:55):
I went to the states and did abunch of big podcasts out there.
I'd had, countless magazinesarticles written about me.
I had different brands who weresponsoring me.
So my big ultra enduranceadventurer dream was starting to
become a reality and peoplecould actually start to see,
wow, like what he was talkingabout, like three, four years
ago.
Now we can see how this isactually potentially working

(38:18):
2015, hit me and my mentalhealth was plummeting outta
control and where I knew Ineeded to pull the rip cord,
open that gate a little bit,whatever analogy metaphor you
want to call.
It was one day sunny day in thesummer.

(38:41):
I was out in my back garden andI just felt like the world was
falling on top of me.
And I laid down in the sunshineon the concrete, in the back
garden, on the path in the fetalposition and cried I can't make
it sound cool.
I can't make it sound eloquentand I'm not trying to, but I

(39:05):
just laid down on this path andcried in the fetal position.
And because I was so depressedbecause I was so unhappy because
the pain was so strong.
I had nothing left to give.
And then I booked in to see atherapist for the first time.
Cause I was battling for yearsby myself, like talking about
when it, I first realized that Iwas suffering with depression

(39:28):
when my life started to alter,as I said was about 2010.
This is middle of 2015 that Iwas battling alone, not talking
about it with anyone and mygirlfriend at the time.
Now wife, I saw a therapist fora couple of times.
Every week started to sort oftalk to him.

(39:50):
And I just remember sat on thecouch she's in healthcare.
She's an osteopath.
So she sees the world in a veryholistic view and she works with
patients from various differentthings and she knew something
was going on, but she also knewme well enough at the time to
know that.
You don't press me.
You just create a space.
And I will, when I feel theright time is I'll do my thing.

(40:12):
And we sat on the couch and Ijust started to, this is maybe
like three or four weeks after Ihad this laying down in the back
garden.
And I just said, look, I gottatalk to you.
And she's like, yeah.
And I just like, I'm struggling.
I just can't do this.
And we had a really open chatand felt really supported for
the first time.

(40:32):
And that was my choice to notfeel supported.
And now it was my choice toallow people in, to help support
me and she did that.
And I spoke to my parents now,when I say I opened up.
I'll say 60% of what I was goingthrough and what I was feeling I
opened up about.
I basically told them that I wasstruggling with depression and I

(40:54):
would hide myself away a fewtimes from the world and I would
have cries here and there andfeel like I couldn't function.
I feel like I couldn't get outtabed and all this other things,
but that was about it.
Didn't tell them about theinsomnia.
Didn't tell'em about the bingeeating or standing on tops of
bridges, the previous couple ofyears.
So then the ultimate triathlonwas in like a couple of months

(41:15):
so it was like, well, what do wedo?
And I kept going to therapy andI soldiered it on.
And I started that event, 2000kilometers in 12 days, on zero
from an energy perspective froma physiological, psychological
Element.
I was just done.
I was just empty.
So then I went and did 2000kilometers in 12 days.

(41:37):
and what's below empty yeah,exactly.
Which then, and this is what Itell people.
You wanna see how mentallystrong I am go and watch the
ultimate triathlon documentaryon Amazon.
After knowing with context, whatwas going on in my life or the,
like the six, seven years prior,I went into that empty.
You wanna see what mentalstrength looks like and what it

(41:59):
looks like when you train yourmind for the last 20 odd years?
That documentary.
I completed that challenge onnothing, but the previous 20
years of mental strengthtraining, call it whatever you
want, but training my mind tooverride what my body was doing.

(42:21):
And it shows it in the film timeafter time again, when my body's
trying to shut down and mymind's like, Nope, not doing it
because I train my mind to bestronger than my body.
Very dangerous, which you'll seein the documentary, but when
used and understood andrespected, very powerful as
well.
So to finish that answer, verylong-winded answer to your

(42:43):
question was I finished theultimate triathlon, my mental
health plummeted again and aboutthree months, no, about four or
five months after I finished theultimate triathlon, I went to
start training again and thenall of a sudden it was just like
someone took my legs out fromunderneath.

(43:04):
I had headaches for about thefirst six hours.
When I was a week, I wassleeping 12 to 14 hours a day,
even though I'd set my alarm toget up and I'd, just no good the
day, the days I didn't have anyappointments or bookings on or
anything else had on, I wouldjust stay in bed.
But pretty much every day, firstsix hours, I had headaches.

(43:25):
I was exhausted.
I had stomach issues.
I had aches and pains.
I could barely walk the milefrom my house into the, sort of
the shopping area of where Ilive.
And whenever I stopped, I'd justsleep.
So I went to see a neurologist.
He was like, yeah, when you area light bulb flickering and you

(43:46):
just turn it a little bit and itstays on, there was a part of my
brain that there was electricsignal, not quite getting
through quite right.
So I had some medication to fixthat, to fix the headaches that
I was having.
Then I went to see a sportsdoctor.
Who's also a a naturopath sortof doctor as well.
So you've got traditionalmedicine plus sort of like new
medicine, so to speak had abattery of tests and basically

(44:08):
my endocrine system was shuttingdown.
So your hormonal system, and forone example of what that means
is that my D H E a my basicallyhuman grown growth hormone,
which is a precursor totestosterone was pretty much
zero.
So my body was so depleted.
It was just shutting down.
And my endocrine system waslike, Nope, I was always sick.

(44:31):
I had colds in the middle of thesummer.
And it took me about 18 monthswith a lot of different types of
therapies, traditionalnon-traditional different
medications, mainly sort of morenatural stuff.
But there was some sort of moresort of pharmaceutical things as
well.
Just sort of gimme a bit of akickstart 18 months before I

(44:51):
felt like myself going throughtherapy as well, and just really
taking care of my body.
And in that 18 months at when Iwasn't training where I wasn't
doing any of this physical stuffwhere this pain wasn't fuel me
anymore, I was able to heal fromthe inside out from a
physiological perspective and anemotional perspective and

(45:13):
psychological perspective aswell to then be able to see me
as.
Not a footballer, not an ultraendurance athlete, but as Luke
the human and really understandwhat that meant.
And also how I fit in the worldwhere I was right then 2017 on

(45:39):
that day.
And then what it means to livelife and be able to move forward
into the future without alwayshaving this big target to aim
for.

Michael Bauman (45:51):
Yeah.
First off, I mean, again, thankyou.
Thank you for sharing.
I'm curious what.
What that process looked likefor you or what were a couple
different ways you couldpotentially approach this
question, what that processlooked like for you, or if it's
easier to answer, like, whatwere the biggest takeaways or
the biggest like pivotal momentsin that process or how you would

(46:15):
advise other people that arepotentially struggling with a
similar thing?

Luke Tyburski (46:20):
Yeah.
There were so many things thatwent on during that period of
time.
It wasn't like, okay, take thissupplements to help with this
physical thing, do this threetimes a day.
It was not that it was thiswhole mash of things that sort
of came together.
But I think the taking a 10,000foot view and looking back at

(46:44):
those 18 months, I was verylucky in that.
What was masking my pain and thefacade.
And that was quite literallywhat the facade I was putting
up, was, had been taken awayfrom me.
That was sport.
Endurance sport.

(47:04):
Swimming, cycling, and running.
That was the thing that wasinhibiting me to move forward in
life, to understand the pain Iwas going through to figure out
what my, who I was and myidentity.
So the first thing is if any ofthe listeners are going through
this.
This rollercoaster, notrollercoaster ride, but this
roundabout round and round ofcircles of, I wanna get off this

(47:27):
ride, so to speak, because Iknow I'm in pain and that pain
can be whatever it is to you.
And I know I want to change, butI can't get myself off it.
We all have like a crutch.
We all have something that welean onto or into whether that's
exercise, whether that'ssubstances.
And I don't just mean substanceabuse, but I just mean

(47:49):
substances or it's, what you eator who you talk to.
That could be another thing iswe all have these crutches that
we rely on to just sort of makeus feel better for a minute.
But in reality, it just sort ofmoves us past that tough moment.
And then keep going.
And when the pain's bad enough,you will stop and assess it.

(48:10):
But until it's until the pain isdeep enough and painful enough,
then nothing's gonna change.
Pain will create change once thepain becomes too much.
So it's understanding what youare suppressing that pain with
is the first thing.
And for me, it was exercised.
And because that was taken awayfrom me, that was a blessing in

(48:30):
disguise.
The other thing that I would sayis what is it that you value in
life?
And this can be a very deepquestion, but I don't want you
to think, I don't want anyone tooverthink it.
It's just, what do you value inlife?
And to give you an example iswhen I was doing this exercise,
it was a case of all all I'veever wanted to do was play

(48:52):
soccer.
Now I'm not doing that.
And then I dove into all I wannado is the biggest and craziest
challenges I can do.
Okay.
Well, I can't do that because mybody's not allowing me and I
there's just physically, there'sno way I can push myself
mentally as strong as I am to dothat in the ultimate triathlon.
Like I just wasn't able to, mybody was literally shutting down

(49:13):
from the inside out.
So it was a case of like, okay,well, if I'm not a soccer
player, I'm not a footballer andI'm not an ultra endurance
athlete and I'd scraped it rightback to, I'm not an athlete cuz
that's what I've alwaysidentified as, and to this day I
still identify myself as anathlete, but I'd like to think
in a healthy way because I lookat it as a positive.

(49:35):
I look at that as I am anathlete because I train every
day and that's a positive way oflooking at it.
In the past, it was detrimental,but now I'm in this place that I
am in my life that I'm quitehappy to call myself an athlete.
And I don't have any sort ofnegative attachment to that
because if someone said, oh, Iwant you to go away and work for
a whole month and do a seminarfor a whole month and you can't

(49:57):
train, you just have to focus ondelivering talks and stuff.
I would be okay to do that.
I know this.
I don't have to train every day.
I choose to train every day.
Cause it makes me feel good, butI don't have to, I don't feel
like I need to, I do it becauseI want to, and I enjoy it.
So it's really understandingwhat your values are.
And for me back then, it was acase of connection.

(50:20):
I wanted to have the connectionsbecause all of a sudden I was
taken away from this team sportworld where you're in a team the
whole time.
And then I was out by myself andthen I was like, well, I'm doing
these ventures and meeting allthese cool people.
That's great.
But now I'm not training.
I'm not gonna meet up withpeople.
I live in a big city and likeanyone that's lived in a big
city.
Yeah.

(50:40):
You can have a lot of friends,but at the same time, it can be
really, really.
Solitary at the same time.
So I was like this person whowas unwell and couldn't really
go out and, travel anywhere.
So no one was really seeing me,so I felt isolated.
And it was like this humanconnection.
And I, another value I had thenwas honesty.

(51:01):
I wanted to be honest with mystory, I wanted to be honest
with what I was going through.
And I felt like that could be areally good way of healing
through the process.
So as I said, you don't have tosort of go down these really
Allison Wonderland rabbit holeof what are my values in life.
It can be like things simple asthat, but you really gotta think

(51:21):
about it and what your valuesare.
And that was really helpful too.
And the final thing that I wantto give that people can use, and
this is something that I heardon a podcast from an NFL coach
coach, Pete Carroll from theSeattle Seahawks, who has won a
super bowl and is sort of knownfor his slightly different
coaching style.

(51:42):
He's friends and mates with allthese players.
And it's very fun environment.
He used to be at USC coachingcollege and he made it a party
on the sidelines.
One game or a couple of games heever had Snoop dog on the
sidelines to make like a partyatmosphere like the rapper.
So I've heard him on a fewpodcasts and he said this thing
of a called it a personalphilosophy.

(52:03):
And he's like, what is yourpersonal philosophy?
Like I do this for all myplayers.
And I ask him in preseason, canyou get it down to 20 words?
And his description of thepersonal philosophy is what are
phrases or some sentences orsome words that are gonna be
your guiding light that aregonna be the things that you

(52:24):
live by every single day.
Okay, what am I gonna do today?
I'm gonna do this does it alignwith my personal philosophy?
So I was like 20 words or less.
Yeah, that's easy.
I just worked on some values.
I'm gonna do this three pageslater.
I'm like, damn coach Carol.
Like this is hard.
And over time and thinking aboutit more, I got it down to back

(52:48):
then it was build relationships,learn daily and teach others
what life has taught me.
So if you think about it,everything that I do on a daily
basis, whether and the way thatI describe it now is if I have a
decision to make, that's gonnacost me my time, some of my
limited energy and my limitedmoney, because 99.9% of us in

(53:08):
the world have limited money.
We all have limited energy andwe all have limited time.
So if there's a decision to bemade, that's going to use up one
of these limited resources.
Is it gonna help me buildrelationships?
Can I learn from it?
Or is it an opportunity to sharewhat life has taught me with

(53:31):
others and I call it my lifephilosophy.
So that is my life philosophythat I worked on over periods of
time after hearing that podcastwith coach Carroll.
So those are some things that Iworked on in those 18 months to
help me get through the otherside and then give me a really
strong platform to then, okay,now let's go and apply this to

(53:55):
my daily life because the otherthing where I feel people can
get stuck in is reading allthese.
And I use this in a positiveway.
Reading these self-help books,these self-development books,
and like, don't get me wrong.
Some of them are amazing.
Some of'em are a bit like, eh,but when you get one that's
really powerful for you.

(54:16):
There's some great littlenuggets in there and listening
to podcasts and learning aboutyourself and doing this self
internal work.
It's great.
But just like the serialstudent, if all you do is learn,
all you're doing is absorbing.
And are you really living?
You've gotta test those out inthe real world because I

(54:37):
guarantee you not everythingthat you learn and you
understand, and you canarticulate to someone else when
you try and apply it in yourlife.
It doesn't always work becauselife is not in a book.
Books are written in a way forpeople to absorb the information
and to then give you anopportunity to use it.
It doesn't make you use it.
So when you apply these things,you've gotta try and figure out

(54:59):
what fits.
So it would be a case of to dothese exercises, understand what
your life lost for years,understand what your values are,
and also what it is that you areusing as a crutch to suppress or
keep that pain inside and thenfigure that out and then start
applying them each and everyday.

Michael Bauman (55:21):
Yeah.
That's I mean, that, that sumsit up right there.
but as you mentioned, that'syears and years of running from
it, literally, and that 18months of everything shutting
down to be like, you need toturn around and actually deal
with this.
But you're absolutely right.
Doing that work is reallyamazing.

(55:41):
I want to ask, and I know thisis a really important aspect and
it's something that's reallychallenging, right?
So you are this ultra-marathon,you studied exercise science,
you have nutrition background,but then that's the face of it.
And then behind that we have thebinge eating.
We have the depression we have,like, I just don't, standing on
bridges.
I don't feel like I can liveanymore.

(56:02):
The vulnerability aspect ofthat, of going, like, I wanna
share this can be so scary.
What are your insights?
I don't even say what areinsights?
Like, how do people go from justbeing so scared to starting to
share?
Just starting to open up?

Luke Tyburski (56:20):
I don't think there is a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 step
answer for this question,because I think it's very
individual my process to gothrough.
It will be very different towhat might work for someone else
and even the way that I, so Iopened up to my very close

(56:43):
friends and family over time.
After the initial, speakingabout my depress.
I started to talk to peopleabout my addiction to endurance
sports and I don't say thatlightly to people who struggle
with other addictions, but I useit in the same light it's
because I was addicted toendurance sports.

(57:04):
And that was my high.
I felt so low when I wasn'tswimming, cycling or running.
I had to then find other ways toscore a high.
And that came through bingeeating initially.
And I would, I didn't talk aboutthis with anyone.
And then I wouldn't eat for 2436 hours and I would go into a

(57:26):
five hour run.
I was struggling with insomniabecause my body was all messed
up.
And so it's three o'clock in themorning.
I hadn't been to bed and I'mlike, I'm gonna go and run into
central London and back.
And there's a marathon for you.
And I would get home at seven inthe morning and my housemates
were just waking up and like,oh, did you go for a run?

(57:47):
Yeah.
I just went for a little 5k jogthis morning.
Ah, yeah.
I thought I heard you leaveabout half an hour ago.
Yeah.
I just run a marathon and spentfour hours running.
So then I would have a showerand wouldn't eat and carry on
with my day.
So my process to actually comeout about, and then it got so
bad that there were times whereI just didn't want to feel the

(58:12):
pain anymore.
I wanted to end the pain andthat's when I went and stood on
bridges at two separate times,about four or five months apart
and just not wanting to live.
And I was quite.
Thankful that I was able to talkmyself down.
And I mentioned this on a diffon a podcast several years ago.
That was the moment where I wasthe most mentally tough, strong,

(58:34):
whatever you want to call it.
Where my mental strengthtraining really helped me
because my self-talk was so loudthat when I stood on top of the
bridge, it caught my attentionthat this self-talk was there.
And I'm like, well, actually,like, and the short story is the

(58:55):
pain I feel right now.
I knew that my parents and mysister and my family in
Australia, the pain I wouldcause them, if I stepped off the
bridge would be more than I'mfeeling right now.
And I was able to catch myselfand have that internal
conversation.
It could have lasted a minute.
It could have lasted half anhour.

(59:15):
I have no idea how long I wasstanding on top of that bridge.
Like it was like nothing elseexisted except that internal
conversation.
So that is how I was able totalk myself down.
Now.
I didn't reveal any of this, thestanding on top of a bridge, the
binge eating the insomnia, thedepression, and the severity of
the depression.
I opened up and started to talkabout it with friends and

(59:38):
family.
And then I started to add someof that into my keynote talks to
say, I battle with depression.
I battle with insomnia.
That was the extent of it.
Then I started to write my book,my autobiography called Chasing
Extreme.
Well after the UltimateTriathlon good friend of mine,

(59:58):
who's also a writer.
She said to me, You should writea book about the ultimate
triathlon.
And I was like, funny, you saythat I've actually already
started a book two and a halfyears ago about the Sahara
desert living out in Nepal forlike six weeks and all this
stuff.
And then I had a very messy anddebilitating breakup that I talk

(01:00:22):
about in the book.
And I didn't write for twoyears, my friend's like, you
need to write a book about theultimate triathlon.
I'll coach you, it's all good.
Sent her the manuscript that I'dalready wrote, like 30,000
words.
And she's like, you can write.
Right.
Let's get you going.
So I started to write about theultimate triathlon and she's
like, yeah, but there's a twoyear gap, which is this period
of time that we talked aboutwhere my mental health was in

(01:00:44):
its worst state.
So I still remember sitting onmy couch going, do I lie or just
not tell the whole story or, youknow what, this could be an
opportunity to go all in andtell my true story, like all of
it, Warts and all.

(01:01:05):
100%.
And share with people exactlywhat I was going through to show
that, Hey, on the outside, I'mrunning up and down mountains,
I'm traveling all over theworld.
I've got sponsors, I'm doingkeynote talks around the world.
I'm in magazines, I'm on thesemassive podcasts, but at the
same time after I did this, I,went to a grocery store and

(01:01:28):
bought a whole packet of nutsand a tub of ice cream and
gorged on that in the car park.
After I just did a massivepodcast, like stuff like that.
It's an opportunity to bevulnerable, to show people that,
Hey, what we perceive on theoutside isn't necessarily what's
going on the inside.
And at the same time I realized,Hey, like I'm a young white guy.

(01:01:50):
Who has come from a very lovingfamily and has had a privileged
life.
I acknowledge this.
Wouldn't it be really cool toshow that no matter what color
you are, where you come from orhow good it looks on the,
outside that from a human level,we can all be going through some
really nasty stuff.

(01:02:10):
So let's try and create a spacewhere we can be open.
So I said to my friend, you'regonna read some stuff that you
didn't know that no one knows,and it's gonna shock you, but
just know whatever I send yougoes in the book.
Don't delete it.
No matter what I say, she'slike, okay, fine.
I started to write and sent itto her.

(01:02:30):
She was in Australia.
She called me from Australia andsaid, are you okay?
Cause she just read some of thestuff I wrote and I'm like, I'm
okay.
I'm here.
I'm good.
I'm okay.
The reason I tell you thisstory, as you can tell, I love
telling stories and the sound ofmy own voice.
However, the reason I tell youthis story is that I felt an

(01:02:52):
opportunity with the very tinyand minuscule public profile
that I have because I'd done alot of stuff and had done a lot
of interviews.
I had this opportunity that Icould make a difference in the
world.
Now, I'm not saying everyoneneeds to go out and try and make
a difference in their world, butyou know what?
You can make a difference in thecommunity that you live in,
whether that's just your family,your immediate family, or your

(01:03:15):
extended family, or even justcommunity groups that you're
involved in, you can make adifference to other people's
lives.
Cause you don't know what theyare going through, even though
they're your family members.
Because when I handed my parentswho I'm extremely close with,
when I handed my sister who I'malso very close with and my now
wife, the first draft.

(01:03:37):
Of Chasing Extreme my sister wasangry because I didn't tell her
what I was going through.
That's more about her than aboutme.
My wife, well now wife,girlfriend at the time just
said, I knew you were in pain,but I didn't realize you were in
this much pain.
And my parents just said, thisis the hardest thing I've ever

(01:04:00):
had to go through in life.
But at the same time, I knowyou're okay because I was
writing about years before.
So my way of opening up andsharing was to.
It's not for everyone but write,put it in a book and publish it
and throw it to the world andthen do multiple podcasts all

(01:04:22):
around the world and interviewsand talk about it and have a big
book launch with, over a hundredpeople in the Lululemon European
flagship store on Reg Street,central London.
So, however, to get there itcomes down to this.
You have two options, twochoices to make.
If you are dealing with pain andyou are ready and the pain has

(01:04:45):
become so strong that it's had ashift inside of you to do
something about it.
You tell someone.
Who knows you.
Who loves you.
Who you love.
Who you have a deep connectionwith.
You feel comfortable with.
You open up to them.
Option B because you are not ina place where you feel

(01:05:06):
comfortable talking to thepeople who are supportive and
love and care for you.
You're tell a stranger, atherapist, a professional
psychologist, whoever, but aprofessional.
And then, and this is what Idid.
And this is my process because Ialways felt I was in control.
I could tell them as much, or aslittle as I wanted on any given

(01:05:29):
day I went, they could ask mequestions and I could say, well,
in my head, I should tell'emthis and this, these three
things, but I'm gonna tell'emtwo, cause I'm not ready to tell
'em that third thing yet overtime.
If you have the right fit withthe right therapist, you will
start to open up fully talkingabout the pain that you are
going through is in myexperience the best way to take

(01:05:54):
the first step of healing, thatpain.
However, in order to do that,the pain has to be strong
enough, powerful enough, painfulenough for you to acknowledge
it's time to do something aboutit.
And from my experience, you'vegot those two options.
You talk to someone who you careabout, they care about you.

(01:06:16):
You love them.
They love you.
They're supportive and you canhave a safe space with them.
Or if you're not willing toshare it with someone who knows
you and you know them, you goand share as much, or as little
as you want with theprofessional who doesn't know
you from a bar of soap.
And from then, you be open andhonest and vulnerable with
yourself.

(01:06:36):
And then with the people whoyou're working with and show up
daily, show up weekly, do thework, whatever you need.
And over time you share thatpain will not necessarily go
away.
But what will happen is you willbuild internal strength to help
you understand the pain andeither shift it or remove it or

(01:07:02):
live with it.
Be able to live with it andallow you to move forward in
life.

Michael Bauman (01:07:08):
Yeah, I think that's really important.
Just taking that step to shareit with somebody close to you or
a stranger.
And I liked how you gave thosetwo options, cuz it works
differently for differentpeople.
Yeah, I really appreciate yourstory because again, like you
said, like there's so much onthe outside, you can see one
thing and then behind it, andthis is unfortunately across the

(01:07:30):
board and a lot of peakperformance things.
I sacrifice so many parts ofthemselves, so many parts of
life to get to a certain thingand then realize, wow, I feel
super empty and there's nothinghere.
And to have somebody likeyourself, be willing to share
that is so powerful.
I know you've impacted,thousands and thousands of
people.
Is there anything that you'dlike to leave?

(01:07:50):
The audience before we wrap uphere, besides all the incredible
things you just left.

Luke Tyburski (01:07:55):
if you are struggling with problems
obstacles or setbacks in yourlife, drop me a DM.
And you can tell me as little oras much as you want and if I can
help in any way I will.
But yeah, that, I think that'swhere I'll go reach out to me,
to someone else.

(01:08:15):
But yeah if you are strugglingwith a setback or an obstacle in
life yeah, feel free to drop mea DM and also know that the pain
that you're going through, itdoesn't have to be there
forever.
And you have the power to shiftit, even though it may feel.

(01:08:35):
Even though the pain might getworse before it gets better.

Michael Bauman (01:08:38):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, thank you for that.
There, there is one thing too,that I actually use on a daily
basis as well.
It's is a it's called an it's anapp called Be a Looper.
And what's neat about it isessentially you can choose a
group of close friends, whereveryou trust.
And at the end of the day oraround like four o'clock, it
prompts you on a scale of one to10, how was your day?

(01:09:02):
And you can just put, like I'm aseven and I'm a, four, but if
it's a three or below, it'llautomatically send a message to
those people.
Just prompting them, Hey, likereach out.
And it, I find it superbeneficial just to have those
people close and sometimesputting a number out there can
be easier than, saying like,this is what I'm feeling.
This is what I'm going through.

(01:09:22):
You're just like, I'm a threeout of 10.
And that can just be easier todo so, check that out.
I'll put the link to that in theshow notes, but again, it's
called be a Looper.
Love it.
I think it's awesome.
Yeah, it was be developed bysomebody from Australia, Amanda
Johnstone.
And I use it every day.
It's really simple, but reallypowerful to break that silent
barrier.

Luke Tyburski (01:09:41):
Yeah.
I think it's fantastic and it'sa great step to being
vulnerable.
And I think being vulnerable inevery day, life is a great thing
to, to be able to do.
And I think that's a great stepbecause of also being vulnerable
when you're feeling good.
And you're positive.
Like if you've had a great day,you've ticked all your boxes and

(01:10:05):
it's just been an amazing day.
And someone asks you, how areyou?
Like, don't say good or great,like.
Say how you feel.
I feel absolutely amazing.
I do that all the time in theUK.
It's not really sort of peoplelook at you like, well, not so
much.
what's you are weird, yourlife's going on.
And I've literally had peoplesay, well, you can't really feel
that good.
I'm like, yeah, I do.
And I'm like, well, why do youfeel absolutely amazing?

(01:10:28):
Well, I had a great trainingsession.
I had a couple of coachingclients.
I propel hat.
Yeah.
I got a standing ovation andthen I got another piece of work
and I had these really coolmessages sent to me to say, I
made a difference in their life,whatever I'm like, yeah.
Like, this is what I do.
This is what I love doing.
And I feel absolutely amazing.
So I think it's great to be ableto be vulnerable when we are

(01:10:49):
feeling good or in a positivelight.
And I say that because I thinkin this day and age, when you
say being vulnerable orvulnerability, and this is just
my own experience, I feel like alot of the times there's a
negative shade that goes overbeing vulnerable and
vulnerability, but you canpractice being vulnerable as

(01:11:12):
simply saying how you feel likewhen you are feeling good or
when something good happens orwhen you wanna give someone
praise, but maybe you don't knowthem.
And you're like, well, thatmight be a bit weird.
No, be you've vulnerable and go,Hey, really?
That was amazing.
What you did then.
Fantastic.
Great.
Even if it's like a busker onthe street, maybe you don't have

(01:11:34):
any money or change, but justsort of stop and give the thumbs
up and say, Hey, you soundreally good.
That is practice and beingvulnerable with a positive
light.
And I feel like the more that wecan do that on a daily basis,
and this comes back around to mypoint is if we practice being
vulnerable in a positive light,on a regular basis, then it

(01:11:56):
helps us from my experience.
Be vulnerable when we do feelvulnerable when we don't feel
like in a safe place.
So if you are having a reallybad day because your cat died,
you got fired from work and youlost your wallet.
And someone says, how you doingin the UK?
Most people will say, I'm okay,I'm fine.

(01:12:19):
I'd tell you what if that was myday, I would feel really crappy.
So if that happened to me andsomeone said, how do you feel?
I'd be like, I feel reallyrubbish.
I feel crap.
And if people really care aboutyou and really actually wanna
know how, like, how you'redoing, they'll say, oh, why what
happened?

(01:12:39):
Well, I got fired.
My cat died and I lost mywallet.
That's why I feel crap.
And then wherever theconversation goes, it goes, but
that is you practicing, beingvulnerable.
I think being vulnerable is askill.
The more you practice it, youbetter become at it.
I think that app Be a Looper isamazing because it's giving you
a really powerful tool to bevulnerable, even though it, you

(01:13:03):
might think, oh, it's just witha couple of my closest friends
or just my family members.
But Hey, like how often do welie to our family members about
how we actually feel or whatwe've got going on?
So if every day you feel like a2 or three out of 10 and you can
hit that number on your phoneand say, yeah, today's been
really crap because I'll use thesame example I got fired and my

(01:13:25):
cat died and I lost my wallet.
Yeah.
That's a zero out of 10.
That's practicing beingvulnerable.
And I really do believe thatbeing vulnerable is a skill that
we all can practice and becomebetter at it.
And the more we are vulnerablewhen there's a negative shade to
what's happened, but also apositive light that's been shown
on it, then we can live a more.

(01:13:49):
True and authentic self life toourself.
And I think if we can all bemore vulnerable with our truth,
then that'll allow us to enjoydaily life on a more regular
basis.

Michael Bauman (01:14:04):
I think that's, I think that's really, profound
and that's essentially, the arcof your story, like finding that
connection, basically beingwilling to be vulnerable with
yourself on a deep level first,and then you leverage that to be
vulnerable with, the audienceand stuff that you are
privileged to have.
And that's just profound.

(01:14:24):
Like you, you start withyourself, you do the deep work
to actually uncover it and tosit with the pain and then you
have the opportunity to changeother people's lives that have
been through that.
And I just really appreciateyour story.
I do really appreciate yourvulnerability and thank you for
being willing to share it.

Luke Tyburski (01:14:44):
That's been my pleasure and thanks for having
me on absolutely.

Michael Bauman (01:14:48):
Before you go, I would love it.
If you actually just shared thisepisode with a friend, I'm sure.
While you were listening, youknow, someone just popped into
your head and you're like, oh,they would probably like this as
well.
So it's really easy.
You just click the share buttonon either the website or
whatever podcast platform you'reon and send it over to them.
And chances are, they'llprobably like it, too until next
time, keep engineering yoursuccess.