Bring a Brand New You to Your Relationship in the New Year w/ Tavia Sharp (Ep.29)

Episode Transcript
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Emma Viglucci (00:00):
Hello lovelies, welcome to another episode.
I am so excited for today'sguest.
Her name is Davia Sharp, andwe're talking about personal
image and branding.
We focus on the personal sideof things more and we talk about
why it's important to have animage that's really reflective

(00:22):
of who we are, and how to goabout creating shifts and the
impact that this shift creates,both personally and
professionally, and so we coverthis topic from the different
times and reasons why peoplemight want to create a shift,
what's happening for them andhow they are feeling that they
are feeling like they need achange, and then how to go about

(00:45):
the change and then what kindof results you get from creating
such a shift.
A lot of times, what happens isthat we might not have evolved
our look with who we have become, so we might be stuck in the
look or in our appearance, or wemight be dated on one hand.
On the other hand, we might bestuck in the look or in our
appearance, or we might be datedon one hand.

(01:06):
On the other hand, we mightexperience that we haven't kept
up with the maintenance ofourselves or our look, or our
grooming, our appearance orwhatever we want to call it, and
we're not looking put together,we're looking a little shabby,
a little frumpy, a little grody.
Look and put together we'relooking a little shabby, a

(01:28):
little frumpy, a little grody.
And so we kind of need to shakethings up a little bit.
And so those are two reasonsthat might feel that we need to
kind of step up our game so thatwe could be more reflexive of
our status, where we are, who weare and what's going on for us.
But also we might want tocreate a shift.
We might be totally contentwith our look, our appearance,

(01:51):
how we've done, how we'veevolved and all those things,
but maybe it's not enough orgood enough, or we feel it's not
reflective enough of where wewant to be, who we're becoming
or where we're going right, andso we might need an up level for
that reason, or for bothreasons, right, both things
could be true.
And so we cover this, so thatwe identify the reasons and we

(02:17):
offer ideas and suggestions fordoing some minor tweaks, so you
can start creating those thingsduring the holidays, so you can
start owning your new identity,your new look, your new mojo
sooner than later and right away.
You could create changesimmediately if you want to, and
then also so that you can startthe new year right, so you can

(02:38):
start thinking about what otherchanges do I want to make, how
far do I want to take this?
How do I really own who I feelI am and who I'm additionally
becoming, so that I could createthe shifts in my life that I'm
looking for in my relationship,in my personal life, in all the
different places andprofessionally.
So we get all the results andall the manifestations and all

(03:00):
the yumminess that we're lookingfor, because the way that we
look, the way that we show up,definitely impacts, has an
impact, and then it affects theresults that we get, and so we
talk about all of that.
It's an amazing, funconversation, so I hope that you
enjoy it and I'm going to readher bio and then we'll say hello
to Tavia.

(03:20):
Stay tuned, you're in for atreat.
Tavia Sharp is an executiveimage consultant, personal
branding expert and speaker withover 20 years of fashion
industry experience, designingfor some of the top brands like
Calvin Klein, nautica and Macy's.
Her designs have even beenfeatured on celebs like Drake,

(03:44):
neo, chrissy Teigen and EmmaRoberts in magazines like GQ and
Sports Illustrated.
After years working behind thescenes, tavia discovered her
true calling to help ambitiousentrepreneurs and executives
discover their secret weapon andupgrade their online and
offline image so that they cantake their business and brand to
the next level.

(04:04):
From individualized consultingand styling services to seminars
and workshops, tavia brings herA-game to help clients solidify
their personal and professionalimage to stand out, make an
impact and magnetize premiumopportunities.
Hi, tavia, so good to have you.
How are you?

(04:25):
Today?
I'm doing great, so excited tobe here.
I am super excited for thistopic as we wrap up the holidays
and start thinking about thenew year.
Some people might have starteddoing that right, especially
planning the gifts thing andreceiving the gifts and all that
kind of stuff.
So they might already be inthat mindset.
But, in case whoever'slistening, if they haven't

(04:48):
thought about this yet, youstill have a chance to sit just
a pop to have an amazing newyear.
The conversation is going to befrom any period when you listen
to this to starting a refresh,whether it's a new year or any
time that you listen to this andyou want to start something
fresh, we're going to hook youup, right?
Yes, that's the idea.
That's what we're going to do.
So why don't you tell us alittle bit about in a nutshell,

(05:11):
like a couple of sentences, likewhat your focus is with your
clients, like what do you doexactly with image, with
personal branding?
It's a little professionalbranding as well, but we're
focusing on the personal.
So just a little bit so theaudience knows, and then we'll
jump in into how do we tailorthis and apply this to the

(05:32):
relationship, into people's lovelives.

Tavia Sharp (05:35):
Oh, this is great.
So I work with bothprofessional men and women and I
help them sharpen their style,their visibility and their
online and offline brand.
So really, it's about buildinga personal brand that becomes
recognizable not only to whenwe're out and about in person,
but also our online brand andhow people perceive us on the

(05:56):
internet yes, very nice, I lovethat.

And so this is interesting, right, because,
yeah, we think, and usually whenwe think brand, we think you
know business, professionalappearances on like billboards,
you know kind of thing.
But our image, we have an imageperiod, right.
When I go to the gym, I have alook Like I look different from
everybody else, and when I go tothe supermarket I have a look,
and when I stand here in cameraI have a look Like I have a

(06:25):
personal Emma look, right, andyeah, so we have an image, we
have a brand and it's so good tohone in on this in terms of how
it impacts our relationships.
I'm just so curious to haveyour take on this.

So anything about that to get us started yeah,
because the way we show up isthe way that we think about
ourselves.
So when we are leaving ourhouse or we're showing up on
Zoom or we're putting out apiece of content that represents
us, it's an extension of who weare.
So it's from the way you dressto the way you speak, to the way

(06:59):
you communicate yourself, tothe videos and pictures that you
put online.
All of it is part of your brand, not just one thing, it's all
of it, and I call that the ABCDs.
So it's your appearance, yourbehavior, your communication and
your digital presence.
So ABCDs of your image, andthat's what I work on with

(07:21):
people.
Not just one thing, but all ofthat, because they all work
together to create who you areand how you present yourself to
the world, like all thedifferent ways that people could
take you in.

So appearance, behavior, communication and
digital.
I love it.
And how does that relate torelationships in our personal
life?

Yeah, and it can be professional too, but if
we're focused on personal, it'salso like how you show up as a
way that you respect yourself,but also the person that you're
with.
So it's interesting because Iknow you and I talked about this
a little bit offline, but Iactually mostly have male

(08:07):
clients, so a majority of myclients are men and many, many
times, yes, they come to me forhelp because they want to show
up in a more powerful way andthey want to show up as a leader
and they want to show up intheir business, right, but often
once we start working together,they share with me.
Well, I really want to attractup in their business, right, but
often once we start workingtogether, they share with me.
Well, I really want to attractthe right partner.

(08:29):
Or, if I'm in a relationship, Iwant to show up as attractive
and I want my partner to see methat way and to perceive me as
somebody who shows up for them,and so that's interesting.
And then, as you and I talkedabout, I have a lot of women who
reach out to me and say I'dlove for you to help my husband
because I want them to show upas a more presentable in a more

(08:54):
presentable way, but it's.
I think there's a lot going onunderneath of that, because
obviously they're not the oneswho want to do it Right, they
want to hire a professional.
They're not the ones who wantto do it right, they want to
hire a professional.
And and also they, they wanttheir partners.
Maybe it's a long period oftime.
Most of the people that hire me, they've been together for
quite some time.
It's not a new relationship andmaybe there's some of the uh,

(09:18):
you know, or they're thinkingwell, why is this person not
really showing up?
You know, for me anymore, Itake the time to get dressed, I
take the time to put myselftogether and make myself, you
know, attractive for my partner.
But are men doing it?
And that's an interestingthought.

That is interesting, and so obviously
there's a certain type of womanwho will reach out and request
this kind of service, and Iwould imagine that they already
are put together for them torequest that of their husband.
I can't imagine a frumpy womancoming over and saying, can you

(10:00):
style my husband?
It doesn't make sense, right?
So that's interesting, sosomething to keep in mind.
Yep, but so they are thinkingthat the partner is not showing
up, and even for themselves.
When you do work with women forthemselves, not for their
husbands, like the client ishusband or wife or whatever what
is it that they need to beshowing up with?

(10:22):
What is part of that image thatyou're playing with them to
help them show up better?

Just to be a little bit like leveled up.
You know, like instead ofwearing just frumpy, baggy
clothes that look like you don'tcare to transforming them into
putting on things that actuallymake them like feel better,
number one and also just lookmore presentable.

(10:50):
Because I do think a lot ofpeople get complacent.
I think that's a good word.
We get complacent.
I myself struggle with thissometimes too, especially
because when I'm not feelinggreat or you know just
something's going on in yourlife, you tend to kind of get
like into a complacent place,and a lot of times that happens
in the way that you dress andthe way you show up.

(11:11):
Because you want to becomfortable.
You feel like I just want tokind of take a step back.
I don't want to, you know, putmyself out there and feel like
you know I'm being too bold.
Or you know it's almost likeyou want to hide, right, and
that does show up in the way wedress.
And I do think in relationshipssometimes, right, we're just

(11:32):
like, oh well, what, why should,why does it matter?
You know you've been with thatperson for a while and you start
to just get lazy about it.
Let's just put it out there,because that's what happens.

And I do think people take that as a sign, like
, why are you not showing up forme?
You know what's reallyinteresting?
I could imagine that thishappens more for people who are
in front of the camera more andwho are working from home more,
who are more isolated.
I mean, I could totally relateto this, right, if I wasn't
recording, let me tell you.
If I wasn't recording, let metell you, it could get pretty
lazy up in here, right and so.

(12:13):
And even like choosing outfits.
It's like, okay, like I'm notgoing into an office five days a
week, like I'm not going to allof these places, like how much
effort do I put into my wardrobe, right, you know.
And into high heels I used towear like the highest heels and
like all these fancy shoes.
And it's like, okay, I have abunch of them, but I can barely
wear them.
I barely have the opportunityto wear them nowadays.
And it's like, okay, that'sinteresting.
So how do I tailor myappearance or my style or my

(12:36):
closet to match a differentlifestyle, right, so that's true
, you know.
So any thoughts about that?

Yeah, definitely, definitely.
That has come into play quite abit post, you know, uh,
pandemic right now.
It's been four years and peopleare set it, settled into their
new lifestyle.
You know which, most of thetime the my clients at least are
really having a challengebecause it's like every day is
different.
Before they used to go to anoffice five days a week and now

(13:04):
people are like well, used to goto an office five days a week
and now people are like well,sometimes I go to the office or
I'm traveling for work, or Ihave meetings on Zoom, and then
I have this event with my wife.
You know, it's like thisconstantly.
There's something differentevery day, and I actually think
that throws people off.
And so what happens is they doget lazy because they're like oh

(13:26):
, I just don't want to thinkabout all that.
That's a lot of decisions tomake and most that's like five
wardrobes.
Oh my gosh, it's that's so muchwork, think about.
So they either get lazy anddon't do anything and become
complacent and like who cares?
Nobody cares anyway.
Or they say no, it actuallydoes matter and I need to hire
somebody to help me, because Idon't think I can do this on my

(13:49):
own.
It's just too much to deal with.

I mean I could imagine that the go-to would be
like okay, let me just middle ofthe ground and I just do that
for all of the things, and thenyou're not really showing up
with your best look or your bestimage because it might be too
toned down for certain things,it may be a little too much for
just being at home.
Yeah, you're not comfortable,so, like, I don't know, it's
like just funky stuff there.
Yeah, I hear all of that.
Now are there specific lifemilestones or transition times

(14:18):
or other specific times whenpeople get thrown off or where
they find that they coming outof that or being in influx or in
the middle of that that theystruggle most with their image
when they need more of a pick meup or refresh.

Yeah, absolutely.
It's.
Usually is transition times newjob, new role, new relationship
, divorce.
I lost weight.
You know I don't fit in myclothes.
That's a big one.
Maybe you know there's like alot of people are taking you
know some fat loss medicationRight, and that be very rapid.

(14:59):
So it is these transition times.
Or a lot of times it may belike I want to find my partner
right or I want to find thatdream job or level up in my
business.
So it typically is they justhappen to go through a
transition or they want to makea change.

(15:20):
So I learned a little bit of allof that all of that?

Sure, yeah, that makes absolute sense.
And so that when, as you weredescribing those things, I'm
hearing the work with men, youhave the women.
Are there additional times whenthis happens?

Yeah, it typically is new job, new role or a
business Like.
I have a lot of clients thatare entrepreneurs who want to
start getting more speakingengagements or want to start
putting themselves out thereright.
They want to get more attentionfor their business and they
know that one thing that may beholding them back is their image

(16:00):
right, and that actuallyimpacts your confidence as well.
So if you're not feelingconfident in yourself, this is
one way that you absolutely withlike out of doubt, us working
together.
The next day you will feelconfident because you're going
to see the shift right andshowing up differently is a
really the one of the fastestways to do that.

(16:21):
I talk about this a lot.
It impacts your emotional state, so there is something called
enclosed cognition.
This is a real thing, you canlook it up and it basically is
the psychological state ofdressing in a way that makes you
feel different.
So if you dress in a way thatshifts your mood and your

(16:45):
mindset, then of course, you'regoing to show up in a more
powerful way.

So good.
You know what's reallyinteresting.
I'm also thinking of womengoing through postpartum, going
back to work yes, right, andthey're feeling all wobbly
because they've been out of workfor a while, or they're just
not feeling comfortable in theirbodies and it affects their
relationship.
Work like all the differentthings, if not feeling confident

(17:11):
.
So that's also probably a goodtime, I would imagine.

Oh, absolutely, and that is definitely a one.
And then another one that I'mdealing with right now and I'm,
you know, because even myself isperimenopause and menopause.
We're going through atransition in life that is
unavoidable, and our bodies feeldifferent and we shift and
change, and so we start to go oh, why do I have this extra 10

(17:36):
pounds?
And maybe it's in an area whyare certain body parts looking a
certain way?
Yeah, exactly what do I wear?
Because the things that I worebefore they look good before, or
maybe you felt like they did,and then now you're like, oh,
not so comfortable to show thatpart of your body, right?
So that's another bigtransition.

Mm-hmm, you know, the clothes just don't fit the
same way, they don't fit thesame way.

Yeah, absolutely.

Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that's great.
That's a great example.
And so when people are notfeeling confident and they're
thinking about what the heck doI do and this is before they
even get to making a choiceabout, like I need help, right,
so they're struggling a littlebit, and then there's just
thinking of different ways.
What are some things that theycould think about that could

(18:21):
help them make a decision likethis to get support, or that
they could start doing stuffthat they could start doing for
themselves before they take thebig leap if they're not ready?

Oh my gosh, so many things I mean.
One thing I always say topeople is like why don't you
just go on Pinterest and findsome inspiration?
It's like creating your like avision board for yourself.
You know when, like, you'reready to make a change in life
or you just want somethingdifferent, right, a lot of times

(18:50):
, you know, even when we'redoing that, like at start of the
new year, we might createvision boards.
Um, or it's just this one thingyou could do.
Then you could do a visionboard for your own image.
Like you can just hone it in.
Uh, either do it by hand orjust go on Pinterest and find
images that make you feel like,yeah, that's the next level
version of myself.
Yes, like that makes me getexcited.

(19:12):
You know, pay attention to thesigns in your body.
Do you feel like excited?
Do you get goosebumps Like, doyou feel that like little, like
you know thing which just feelslike a tingle?
You know, like what is it thatyou're like?
Yeah, that, that that's itRight, and put those images on a
board.
I mean, that's like one thingyou could do for sure.
Another thing is, like somepeople like they actually need

(19:33):
to put things on.
So like, go to a, go to a storethat you've always wanted to
buy something from and you justdidn't give yourself permission
to do it.
Just go to the store and try iton.
Nobody said that trying onmeans you have to buy it.
So just go put that thing onand see how you feel.
Does it shift your mindset?

(19:54):
How do you feel in it?
Do you get to like embody thisother version of you that you're
like, oh well, yeah, this feelslike me, but you just didn't do
it before.
And that's like a whole thingyou could do.
I mean, I could give you more,but I think that feels a little
advanced.

So let's pin that for a second.
Let's backtrack, cause I couldjust hear the people listening
and they're like everything thatI try and I was going to look
like crap, or like I don't havethe body for it, or like I don't
know what to get.
I don't know who the new me is,you know.
So let's make our way there, somaybe we can help our listeners
along.
So the first thing that that'scoming to mind to ask you is how

(20:33):
might it show up thatcomplacency in the relationship?
Let's say like what might besome of the feelings, what might
be some of the behaviors orwhat are some of the things that
people tell you that they'regoing through, that they know
that they're like?

eh, you know, yeah , a lot of people just say like,
oh, I just feel kind of blah, Idon't like how things look on
me.
And this is for men and women.
I get this actually verysimilar things.
They express it differently,but most of the time they say,
you know, nothing fits me or Ijust I'm just so tired of like
what's in my closet, it justdoesn't like feel good anymore.

(21:07):
I want to throw everything awayand start over.
Yeah, if wives are reaching outto me a lot of times, you know
for their husbands, they'll sayyou know, I just he just looks
sloppy and he's not putting inan effort into what he wears and
typically the the man is likewell, I don't really see what

(21:28):
the problem is, but it obviouslyis.
If not just one wife hasreached out to me, but many like
a lot, then obviously this is acommon thing because to them
they're probably thinking whyisn't he putting in more effort?

You know, because you know but that's like that's
weird language, right?
So, as I put in my therapisthat on, so guys don't measure
effort that way.
You know like that's not goingto be they're going to worry
about usually.
So it makes sense what you'resaying, yes, and and that's
weird that the women are callingthat effort right in the I mean

(22:11):
appearance makes sense, thatit's important.
So that's why the tractionhappens and the grooming, I mean
who knows what else.
You know, I'm sure that all thethings go along with looking
sloppy.
Yeah, so you know.
So isn't this woman a show?
Are calling it effort orinvesting in looking better?
Investing?

I hear that Like why doesn't he put more effort
into how he looks?
Doesn't he see how, like itlooks sloppy or it looks lazy,
or like he doesn't care aboutthe way he presents himself?
And I do think women probablydo take it personally, right,
like what you, ok, you're notreally showing up and I'm doing

(22:50):
all these things, like I'mgetting my hair done every week,
I'm doing my nails, I'm gettingdressed up, I'm putting on
makeup.
You know, I'm not saying theyhave to do it every day, but I
do think there's maybe a littlebit of that comparison Like,
well, why do I feel like I haveto like, do all these things to
you know, keep up appearances,and then you're not really doing
anything, and that, or onlywhen we have an event, right,

(23:14):
they don't even show up for datenight.
Like, dress up, oh, I put onthis nice dress and he just wore
like his same old, same oldpolo shirt and baggy jeans and
sneakers, you know, or somethingabout that, that they feel that
effort isn't being done.
So I that's why I do hear thatword, which is why I used it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.
I totally hear that and and I Ilike converting that into
showing up because I'm wonderingif the effort in their
appearance is not is not beingput in right.

It makes sense that they also probably feel
that the partner's not showingup in other ways.

Oh yeah, but that's the concrete way, that
that's what they could put theirfinger on, but they can't talk
about the dynamics or theemotional or some other ways in
which the partner might not beshowing up.
But let me change how you lookso it feels like you're showing
up for me, but right.
So I'm hearing a bunch of otherthings going on there, like
partner, how partners show up ordon't show up.
Oh yeah, yeah, yes, do you getany of that by any chance?

(24:17):
Like what, how, what are theways that might not show up?
Or how do you're feeling?

Yeah, I mean, I definitely see it sometimes, you
know, because some of thesepartner, you know the these
partnerships, I do see thedynamic Right, and I'm just kind
of not getting into that partbecause you know that's what I'm
there for.
But I do see it sometimes andthen like what they kind of pick

(24:44):
at or or what they're saying,and then I'm like, hmm, this,
this is interesting becausethere's probably more going on.
But they don't usually say ittoo much.
To me it is more like thesurface stuff.
But I definitely agree with you.
I think that there's probablymore going on there and they're
just able to pinpoint the waythat's the practical.

You can put your hands on that measure right?
you could see yes, exactlyyou're, especially if the women
are caring a lot aboutappearances and they're looking
great.
So that's the one way that theycould measure it and create a
shift.
Yes, that's going too muchdeeper, putting too much more
effort in the relationship.
Potentially, I don't know.
Yeah, but so when they startmaking that shift, maybe, maybe

(25:25):
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Hang on, let me see.
How do I ask?
What's the next thing that Iwant to ask you?
Like, how does the investing inthe appearance shift the
showing up or shift the dynamics, or have you seen how they
interact differently or whatelse happens to their confidence
You've mentioned earlier, like?
What else are some of thethings that come up?

Yes, absolutely.
Usually the wife will thank melike ridiculous, like they're
like oh my God, this is likenight and day because you're
right, they could see it.
It's a tangible thing.
They can see the difference,the before and the after, right,
which is we all love thosebefore and after.

Yes, yes, for sure.

And everybody does Um, and so I think that they do
see the difference and thereeven sparks attraction again,
which is right.
That happens in the personspecifically.
Typically what happens is theyfeel like more confident, they
feel like more excited, theyfeel happier.

(26:25):
More excited, they feel happier, they feel they get more
attention, which that in turnreinforces that.
Oh wow, this was a gooddecision, because oh, look at
all the compliments I'm gettingpeople saying things to me,
right, people always say thisand I say, well, that's great,
because that's positivereinforcement.
Right, they did this and it madea shift.
So that kind of continues likea little bit of a snowball

(26:48):
effect.
So they're like they got a pepin their step, they act
differently, they, you know theyfeel more bold, they, they're
excited about this new look andyou know that's when they really
should continue to keep it up,because that can also fade over
time if you're not continuingthat momentum, but for sure you
definitely.
They definitely feel internallya shift and a lot of times that

(27:10):
is the thing that was missingto take them from where they
were to where they want to gowith their goals A lot of times.
Let's come back to that.

Let's come back to that.
Hang on one second.
That's beautiful.
Imagine that they also feelmore alive, more like themselves
, like more in alignment, morewho they are as opposed to like
right, Absolutely yes, and that.
So that's going to radiate.
It's not just the new jacket orthe new color.
Like that.
Energy is going to be different.
That's going to be attractive.
It's not just the look right,the energy is different.

That's beautiful.
I always say magnetic, right,very magnetic.
When I always say magnetic,very magnetic, when you know you
, you basically put on I call itputting on your power.
It's like, but put on yourpower and then that shifts it
and then you become this moremagnetic person because your
internal state and your energyshifts and that is what's

(28:02):
attractive to people around you.

Right, excellent, very, very nice.
So do you have a concreteexamples or details on how that
magnetism manifests Like?
What does it turn into, andalso if you could bring it back
to the relationship you saidmore attraction, like what else?

That's what the relationship you said, more
attraction, like what else?
Yeah, so I mean, I could give alot of examples.
Let me see, I have an exampleof one of my clients who we did
this with and we totally gavehim a, you know, image makeover.
He started wearing you know,these new looks and he said, oh
my God, like you have no ideawhat has happened to me in this

(28:44):
past week.
I've had doors being held openfor me, uh, people giving me,
like you know, first treatmentlike for parking, like he's like
.
I even got somebody that came upand said, hey, do you want to
be on this Like board?
You know where you make,basically you're a decision
maker, and then, on top of that,you make, basically you're a

(29:08):
decision maker.
And then, on top of that, Ialso, uh, he was looking for, uh
, a partner, and so I gave him alittle, you know, just like a
little thing to do aroundmanifesting uh a partner, a
little exercise.
I'll call it an exercise.
And he did that exercise and hesaid, oh my gosh, tavia, I did
this exercise literally within Ithink it was just a couple
months he met this woman and ithas now been his partner for

(29:33):
four years, how lovely.
But also you know the internal.
It's like that internal stateyou know, because of the outer
and that's what all shifted.
So it did impact his businessand his personal relationships.

Yeah, lovely, very nice.
And when people are making thatshift as they're going through
a process of re-imagingthemselves, what's part of that?
Because I mean, you could puton a whole new wardrobe on
somebody and maybe it's not them, right?
So how do how do they hone ininto their identity and the next

(30:08):
level of themselves and how dothey choose that Like any
suggestions for the listeners.

Yeah, I'll share my process and see if Okay,
perfect, yes, tips from this.
So the first step is I do havea consultation with them, so we
go into a deep dive.
So once somebody decides towork with me, we go deeper.
I really ask a lot of questionsabout who do they see
themselves as, and there's a lotof like internal things that

(30:36):
they are thinking about.
So the questions really gear tothat, so I can see like who,
who is it that?
And I get the visual right,cause I'm the, I'm creating it
for them.

I want to make sure it's a match.

So we spend time working on that.
Then the next step is Iactually create a whole vision
board, like I was talking aboutstyle vision board, and then
from that vision board I createwhat I call the blueprint.
And our blueprint is really ourroadmap to what styles, what
colors, what fits, what brandsare going to make you your new.

(31:10):
You come to life Right, andthat goes in the blueprint.
So it's pretty, um, you know,it's a pretty in-depth blueprint
.
Then, once we decide, yeah,this is the, this is me, this is
the direction we're going in,kind of like if you hired an
interior designer to redecorateyour home, they would.
They would want to know yourpersonality and what makes you

(31:31):
tick and how, what kind oflifestyle.
And then they, they design thisbeautiful, you know, mood board
.
It's the same thing, I'm justdoing your personal style.
Then we say, yep, this is it.
I curate a whole day, really anafternoon, where I'm choosing
the stores, I'm choosing thelooks and what items we need to

(31:52):
create your little capsulewardrobe, and then we go and
shop it.
So we spend the day together andwe shop in New York City and
we're basically finding theitems that are perfect for you.
And that's when we get to trythings on and see, oh, wow, yeah
, this feels good, like I get tosee the shift right there, and

(32:14):
then I put the outfits together,I style them for them, so they
have it all done in like thisreally cool app that I use, so
they have a fun book.
So that's like the process,basically.
Um, and so that's how I know.
You know that this like lookthat we're creating is really a
fit for them.

(32:34):
We'll never even gonna get asfar to the store if it's not
like we've you got to do thatahead of time.
So we're on board at that stage, and then we just about finding
it and having an amazing daywhere you get to play and I'm
your guide for the day.

That's lovely.
So question do you have likeavatars Like, oh, this
personality or that kind ofstyle?

like things like that.
I've thought about that manytimes, but really everybody's
different.
So it's I go back and forthabout that, like I really don't.
I have some guidance.
I will say, if people want tokind of figure this out on their
own, because I feel like if youdon't do this or you don't know

(33:17):
how to do it yourself, then Ihave some direction in that
sense.
But if they're doing it with me, we're really curating it to
like the unique individual thatthey are and so everybody's
different and not one singleperson that I've styled in 10
years has ever been the same.
So it's not a cookie cutterservice at all, but I do have
some like guidance as far aslike how you could kind of

(33:41):
figure out if you really havezero, you know idea of a place.

You know what I would love to see and I don't
know.
Hopefully I'm not crossing anylines with this, but like I'm
getting a download, like I seethe adventurer, the, the
traveler, the, the the gamerright, like more personal life
as opposed to professional.
Yeah, you know, like the thestudious or intellectual, like
just like specific, looks right.

(34:07):
And then, of course, you tellher to the person but like
there's, there's like a brand,like there's a type of person,
personality more quiet, moregoing, more bold, more quiet,
more introverted, extraextroverted.
So I think that all thosethings would play a good play, a
role, and you could, I could.
I see buckets, you know, like Isee columns of clothing for
each one of those.
I don't know know.

Yeah, they do exist in the world.
They do exist like stylearchetypes, for sure, right.
But I have I've wanted to go indepth about that, about
creating my own as well, but Ilove, I love those titles.
I think those are good toexplore.

Yeah, that's just what came to me.

I'm sure there's more, no definitely like the
romantic type, right.
But you're right, they do existout there.
I shouldn't say that somebodycan't go and look for that If
they do a little research andGoogling.
Absolutely, and even there'sYouTube videos.
I just don't personally havetoo many set up, but it's
something I've been thinking alot about because, you're right,

(35:04):
it would be helpful for someguidance.

Yeah, and also, and again.
If this, you could chuck itright, If this doesn't make
sense.
But what's coming to me is likesome like a different arm to
your business, you know, likesomething else you could create,
like this whole guidance, Ifyou don't want the whole full on
enchilada, more like a DIY.

You know, you download these things and kind
of do it yourself type of thing.
Yeah, I've definitely thoughtabout that at this point, so
I've been doing it for so long.

Yeah, because you see so many patterns, you know,
I would imagine that you wouldsee that, very good.
And then, of course, if theydon't know what to do with that,
like okay, I'm the adventurer,but I have no idea what an
adventurer looks like.
Perfect, I'll help you.

Yes, yes, I love that.
Just a thought.

Yeah, anywho.
So a handful of ideas.
So how would that play out forthe romance, for the connection,
for the relationship dynamics?
How you know, now my energy isshifted, I'm more in my groove,
I'm more myself, I'm connectedto my higher self, I'm showing
up better, I'm feeling better,I'm getting in touch with all my

(36:10):
stuff.
I'm more alive, all my stuff.
I'm more magnetic.
So what are some of the shiftsthat you have seen or that you
could imagine would happen?

I do think that people, like I said, it's an
energetic shift, right, becausethey start to feel different,
you know, and it impacts theirenergy.
You know, and it impacts theirenergy.
And I do think, withrelationships, that person feels
more connected and moreattracted to their partner again
.
It's kind of like it gives themthat like reboot that they were

(36:40):
looking for and they see themdifferently, right, and then
they feel like there's thisrekindling of sorts, because
that person's energy isdifferent.
I mean, rarely have I workedwith somebody where we didn't
work on this, at least in thisprocess that I have honed in on,
and they didn't shift theirenergy, where they were just

(37:01):
like, oh okay, yeah, great, thisis great, I'll just put on this
new jacket or whatever.
Where I really want that energyshift to happen, because that's
where the magic is right, I'mmore magnetic.
And then it of course, impactstheir partner, right, because
they're like wow, who is?
Who are you?
Where have you?

been.
You know, I love the languagethat you use right there.
So rekindling that, that, thatit almost.
It's almost like I'm still here, like a refresher version of me
, or like the old version of mewith new, with new sparks or
something right, as opposed tolike this muted version I got
lost in translation over timeLike, oh, I'm still here, like,
look at my new, improved versionof me, you know, next level, so

(37:42):
good, and that gets rekindledat that.
That magnetism kind of comesalive a little bit.

Yes, beautiful, that magnetism kind of comes
alive a little bit.
Yes, beautiful.
Okay, you need that too,because I mean, maybe you see
this often right, whererelationships do lose their
spark a little bit, even if theperson or the people love each
other.
Yeah, and it's just, you know,you just get used to that person
that you're with and it becomessuper comfortable, and maybe we

(38:09):
need that sometimes, just thatlittle, you know, like little
tweak that rekindles somethingright, even if you know there's
really nothing wrong.
It's more just like, well, it'sa little re-igniting the spark
a bit.

I love that and I think that what happens a lot
is that we get so involved inlike life and the kids and the
work and the business, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, right
and the doing of life, that weforget to be in our life, and so
I know she gets a little mutedright.
It becomes grinding as opposedto radiating and it becomes more

(38:46):
doing as opposed supposed tobeing, and then something like
this kind of sheds the cobwebs,you know, and it's kind of like,
okay, oh, I could be, oh, Icould be radiant, right, and in
a new image, would capture theevolution of the person.
Like, okay, when we met we werehere.
Now I've been evolving overtime, but maybe my look, my

(39:08):
appearance, hasn't kept up withmyself, right, like I've just
been doing life and like I'mtaking a beating, or like my
appearance is a little dull.
Over time it's been dull, butnow it's like, oh, let me remove
the junk.
And like, let me put a newoutfit on, literally in this
case, and like, oh, this, thisrepresents the new version of me
, how nice.

(39:29):
And it's like an awakening kindof happening.

Yes, absolutely.
I totally agree with that.
So yeah, I think it's so greatbecause it's also something fun
to do.
You know some other things thatother methods or other ways to
do that may not be as fun, sothis is actually fun, right?

That's the interesting thing.
I love that.
This is a good gift.
If people haven't bought giftsfor partners yet or for
Valentine's Day coming down thepike, you know like we start
thinking about that stuffearlier around here.
Good gifts, good gifts.
I love that so much.
Now, what about connection withother family members, with
other loved ones, with friendsand just in general?

(40:10):
Just honing in more on theconnection piece of things, any
thoughts?

Well, I definitely think people see that person
differently.
So typically what I hear frommy clients is they're like oh my
gosh, I got all thesecompliments right.
And I always think like, okay,what's that about?
Like, what about?
A compliment makes somebody sayI'm getting all these
compliments?

I love that yeah.

Tells me that they love that there's recognition,
that they are being recognized,like that they they were
noticing them, they're noticingthe shift.
And that's really what peopleare reacting to, right, because
they're like, oh, wow, and itmakes them feel good, I'm being

(40:55):
seen in a good way, I'm beingseen Exactly, and I think that's
, at the end of the day, whodoesn't like a compliment?
I mean, it makes us feel good,right, and so I think that's
really what it's about.
So I do have a lot of peoplethat say, oh my gosh, my
business partner is like who areyou Like?
What's this new look Right?
Or friends, family.

(41:17):
Now I will say, on the flip side, I've also heard, um, and I've
seen it too like sometimes,especially with men, that, like
their male friends sometimes arelike make fun of them for this,
for the change, and I noticedthis a lot and I'm like, hmm,
what's that about?

(41:37):
And I guess it's like this likething where I don't know, well,
they're uncomfortable.
They're uncomfortable, so it'slike a thing that they do to be
like kind of make fun of the guyfor working on this, yeah and
yeah.
So that's the unfortunate thingthat happens sometimes, but I
do think it makes themuncomfortable.

(41:59):
Like, oh man, why are youshowing up like this?

Like just be your frumpy old self, like you'd fit
in with us more, right, but youknow and it's a great point,
because I think that happenswith most changes, right,
depends on the group that youbelong to, and immature guys
will have a tendency to do whatyou just described.
Yes, and anytime there's achange, you know, go exclusive

(42:26):
with a girl, getting married,getting married, having a baby.
Like all the guys who are notat the same level or who are
immature, they would put downall those accomplishments and
milestones, right, or like oh,you're getting too big for your
whatever you know, like whateverthey do.
Yes, so, but I could imaginethat you have stuff in your
arsenal, in your toolkit, toprepare the guys for, like you

(42:49):
might get this from your friends, right?
So just so that they could dealwith if they get crap.

Yeah, exactly so.
Cause the cause?
It is a big change.
Sometimes, you know, notsometimes the people, it's more
subtle, but a lot of times it isa pretty big change.
They're like Whoa.
But I think that you know, wehave to be comfortable with that
.
Those reactions to not just thepositive ones, but the ones
that make you feel like, oh,wait a minute, should I have

(43:15):
done this?
You know, yeah, becauseeverybody wants to fit in, for
sure.

So and, as you said, that they might get a
negative reaction.
What came to me was like I'mwondering if you experience that
they're having resistance tothe change as you're working
together Because, like a bigpersonality shift or you know,

(43:41):
going from like okay, this iswho I am today to like the next
version of me, that's scary.
Oh, yeah, right.
So what have you seen aroundthat and how do you usually work
with that?

I would say, because you said that the truth
is is a lot of people decide notto work with me because of that
.
Right, I bet it actually feelsscary, and even though they know
I can help them go from here tohere, they actually stop
themselves from too much andthey actually stop themselves

(44:33):
from stepping in.
What I always say is like we'regoing to, I'm going to help you
step to the next level.
You're literally going to stepinto your new identity.
It doesn't mean that it's notyou, it's just another version
of you.
But you have to.
I'm going to hold your handthrough the process, but some
people just go ah no, I don'tknow if I'm ready for that yet.
So that's what holds them backfrom saying yes and signing up

(44:56):
to work with me, unfortunately.

Oh, I just got chills up and down, up and down,
up and down, totally Like Ithink that this goes beyond your
service.
I mean, this happens all overthe place.
I would.
I would say that that that'swhy not everybody's a gazillion
millionaire, gazillionbillionaire, right?

(45:19):
And that's why not everybodyhas the highest level of success
in their life and in theirromance and in their marriage
and in their home.
Like that's why people don'thave their best lives.
Yes, it's too much.
Their image of themselves islike no, I'm not the person who
does all those things or who hasall those things or who feels
those things.
I'm this person who's brokenand hurt and shame right All the

(45:41):
things.
Like I can't.
That's too much money, orthat's too I don't know.
Too much luck, too much love,whatever right, too much
attention and people notstepping into what's the
possibilities of the.

You know, like anything is possible, right, if
people are like, definitely wehold ourselves back, we
definitely do.
I mean, you know, and I agreewith you, and it's hard for me
to see that because I've done somuch work in personal
development.
I was, you know, I've doneleadership training.
I mean I've done a lot of stuffmyself, so I am a person who
sees what's possible and I canshift past it pretty quickly.

(46:21):
But I remember the person thatwas not that before, how it was
scary and I don't know if Icould do that, or that feels
scary to take that risk.
You know and trust becauseyou've got to trust me that I'm
the right guide, that I'm goingto be the person that's going to
get you from here to there.

You know that's also that too, because you know,
you know, I think it's moreourselves than the person in
front of us.

Yeah.

Definitely.
Of course, there's an elementof that, but I think there's
more like people might not beready, like I'm gonna be ready.
Yeah, I mean, I could identifya few times in my life when I
was stepping into next level ofthings and I was like, oh, like,
wow, you know, like when wewere like this house, it was
like it was, it felt so huge,right.
And then that's one time that Icould remember, when I did one
of my websites, I was like itwas too fancy.
It was like I was telling adeveloper to make it like less,
like it was full, so like bigRight.

(47:15):
I just said those are the twothings that are coming to mind
right now, but this is too much.
We had a fancy car.
Like I felt embarrassed drivingthis fancy car down my street
Like what, right, veryinteresting, and like those are
all kinds of blueprints andprograms and like all all the
things right, so that we have todo our own work.
So I could totally imagine, youknow, like I can wear this

(47:37):
fancy blazer or this fancy dressor this fancy shoes, right,
like that's not me.
I could totally see peoplegetting their own way and not
showing up that way.
Oh, yeah, allowing this tohappen, oh my goodness.
Yes, yeah, a little too muchdisclosure maybe on my end, but
hey, that's why we're here.

That's why we're here.

Yes, so good, let's see what else.
So, as people are enjoyingtheir holidays any, so I'm gonna
be tricky with this question,okay, so see if, if it feels
like too weird that we couldredirect, how can they start
bringing the new image ofthemselves into the holidays,

(48:18):
into embracing the new year, andinto considering possibly
working with you or doing animage, personal, rebrand,
personal, whatever, whateverlevel they need to go?
What are some things that theycould start putting on?
Like, well, what's the identitything that they could start
putting on now, right, whetherit's practical or mindset so

(48:40):
that they could start gettingtowards a good place for the new
year and then do something moreabout this as we go if they
need it, if they want to.

Yeah, I mean that's a good point.
I mean I would be thinkingabout how do you align with this
, because personal branding isvery important.
Okay, it doesn't matter who youare, what you do, what industry
you work in.
Every single one of us has apersonal brand.
That's first and foremost.
Doesn't matter what you do fora living.
Okay, your brand could be frumpyyeah, that could be it.

(49:11):
But everybody has arepresentation of themselves,
that's right we are, it's ourvalues and all of that.
So, if we're thinking in thatperspective, we have to start
thinking like, well, what's theimage part of our brand?
Like, how, how does that?
What is that, you know?
And you have to just think likeis it a hairstyle?

(49:31):
Is it a clothes?
Like a piece of clothing, aparticular clothing?
Is it an accessory?
Is it a color, right, that wecould actually be putting on to
match our branding?
Is it a signature item?
Like a signature thing you knowthat you could start to
incorporate that would peoplenotice you for that thing?

(49:52):
You know, color, like I said, iskind of an easy one, but it
could be something very specificand it could be, like I said,
your hair.
It could be a bold lipstick Formen, you know.
It could be like a, like asignature bow tie.
I want to say that's just likesomething random, or a pocket
square or a color color or apair of shoes, you know, besides

(50:12):
thinking about, like your logo,you know, or your, you know,
your signature, like things likethat that are more, you know,
like part of your, you know,branding in that sense.
What about you as the brand?
What about you as the face ofyour brand?
What would you do differently?
Even if it's one small tweak,what would that be?

(50:34):
And those are literal, likethings that you could put on
that I was thinking about Alsothe mindset piece, I would think
who is it out there that youadmire, that you look up to?
That's like doing what you wantto do or is successful at that
thing.
Right, who is it?
And how do they show up in theworld?

(50:54):
What about them?
Do you like, are you drawn to?
And then you know, define itfor yourself I love that.

You know who's coming to mind.
Um, what's the guy's name?
The apple guy, steve jobs.
Steve jobs, like the brand wasjust black, like just you know,
like, just wear the simple,simple.

And he did that because he didn't want to think
about making that decision,because he said I'm making all
these other decisions every day,so I'm just going to wear this
uniform.
Because mark zberg's the same,you know now he actually is
putting effort into his styleand his how.
It matches his, like this brandidentity that he's created.
Very different, if you'venoticed him now.

(51:38):
But for years he just wore at-shirt and like jeans.
But you know, people arestarting to think about this
piece as part of their brand,because it matters.
And you're right, people bringup that example all the time,
right?
But we remember it, don't we?

So Right, exactly .
So making a decision was comingto mind, also as a tip for the
holidays and as people arethinking about the new year.
And how am I going to bring mynew me, my new you, to the new
year and is to think about.
Okay, so how do I look?

(52:14):
How do I see myself?
How does people respond to me?
Is this the person that I wantto be?
It might be in who I think I amor who I want to be, and if not
, what's out of alignment?
And how do I, how do my choices, start reflecting who I think I
am and who I want to become?
But sometimes we see ourselvesas a certain way, but we're

(52:36):
being this way or acting thisway or dressing this way or
showing up this way, and it'slike, ooh, no, I'm this.
And then I want to go here, notthis, and here, right, yes.
So okay, let's line up andstart operating from that place
with choice of words, behaviors,habits, gifting, receiving
gifts, giving the gift, theactivities, the plans, the goals

(52:59):
and then the appearance, right?
So, like all of the things, howdo we start making choices to
line up more with who we thinkwe are, who we want to be, and
to continue to evolve that tothe best that we can, to the
best self.
And how do we carry that intothe new year?
And it might totally be okay.
Maybe I don't need to wear ahanky on my lapel or my jacket

(53:22):
pocket or whatever.
Maybe I need to.
I have no idea.
You know, it's just wear thehigh heels in the house every
day.

Yeah, maybe it is like, okay, I'm gonna show up
differently on Zoom because Ican, and maybe I'm wearing
shorts on the bottom, like manyclients tell me.
Oh, I just wear shorts on thebottom, I'm dressy on top and
I'm like, hey, as long as youfeel good, that's what matters.
So if you notice that you'redressing very laid back, relaxed

(53:53):
and sweat, and you notice thatthat is actually making you feel
too comfortable and complacentand kind of relaxed, then maybe
you need to shift what you wear,because what I said earlier, it
will shift your mood and yourmindset.

I love it right, exactly, exactly.
So then, coming up with, like,what are the little shifts, like
you said before, what's thetiny little tweak that I could
start doing in any of thosethings that I mentioned and
starting right now, and what arethe commitments or intentions
to carry into the new year, yes,and and you and you know, when
I talk about image, it's it ismore than clothing, as I

(54:29):
mentioned earlier, but also it'stop to toe, it's your hair.

It's smell Like I just worked with a client and he
came to New York city hedoesn't live here, he flew in,
we did a VIP weekend and we dideverything from the hairstyle to
the scent that he was going tostart wearing.
So this is also more thanclothing.
It is like, literally, how yourepresent yourself and what do

(54:55):
you want to leave people with?
Like, when you're not in theroom or you leave the room, what
are people remembering aboutyou?
That's a I love that Right?

So it's not just the wardrobe like let's pick a
few outfits that represents whoyou're going to be or your next
level, but also does the hairmatch the look?
Does the makeup match the look?
Does the scent match the look?
Does, like, the accessoriesmatch the look?
Right, what kind of bags do youcarry?
Like my husband just upgradedto a suitcase, to a briefcase.
It's like, okay, that's gettinga little fancy, right, he was

(55:29):
carrying backpacks and now hemoved to a briefcase, like, okay
, that's interesting, that's aninteresting, that's very
different look, yes, and so it'scute, right?
So like all the little things,little things yeah, yeah, all of
it's all of it.

It's the details sometimes too, like that we may
not think too much about, butthat's the thing that, like, the
person would remember.
You know what I mean, like thefact that you look very scruffy,
like if you wear a beard.
Could you trim it so it lookswell-groomed versus scraggly,

(56:05):
unmanaged facial hair?
Do?

you know what I'm saying.
I do know what you're saying.

Yes, but it does make a difference, because we
are noticing and we're sayingwhy didn't that person just trim
it a little bit better?
And they would just look likethey cared more, like they're
maintaining it and they put alittle more time and effort into
their appearance.
That speaks volumes, becauseit's the thing that people are
thinking and not saying that weactually should be thinking more

(56:32):
about you know what's reallyinteresting.

So I'm also I mean, I'm thinking a bunch of
different things to say, so thatthe thing that I want to
comment on is gosh, it's fallingout of my head.
Hang on, too many thoughts.
Oh gosh, it fell out.
Hopefully it'll come back.
So another thought that I hadwas like I was getting my teeth
done, I was getting some workdone, and the assistant says to

(56:58):
me wow, your pores look so clean.
What do you use to clean yourface?
How do you get, when do you getfacials?
What isn't that interesting?
And I usually like to say topeople and I say this
particularly to my daughter, Isay this also, my husband
reinforces it like a different,like it's part of like you know,

(57:19):
like, just do what you need todo, like it doesn't matter,
right, but it does matterbecause people do notice and oh,
I remember what I was gonna say.
So, and even if they don'tconsciously notice,
unconsciously they notice.
We'd register everything.
So your appearance is going tohave an impact on me, whether I
registered that you're scruffyor not, given if I say like, oh
gosh, that guy's beard grows,even if I don't say it, your

(57:42):
scruffiness is gonna bedisgusting to me at some level,
because I already know I'mdisgusted by that.
But even if I didn't thinkabout it right now, I'm still
automatically going to haveright.
And I'm sure there's agazillion other things that we
pick up from people that wemight not be 100% conscious of,
but that we're noticing anyway,we're registering and it's
influencing us in terms of howwe view them, how much respect

(58:06):
or whatever.
Right Attraction, yes, but Ilove what you said, that, yes,
the people, the things thatpeople are thinking about, are
the things that we should bethinking about.

Yeah, that was so good.
It's the truth.
It's really is because theythink about it.
We always and this is what Iwant people to notice yes,
people tell you the nice things.
You look great, oh my God, didyou lose weight?
You look amazing, I love thatcolor.
They always say the nice things.
They don't say the not nicethings.

(58:38):
Right, that's the thing thatthey're thinking.
So people stop saying nicethings to you.
Oh no, I know, I'm just sayingjust really think about it.
How interesting Did they stopcomplimenting you and and and
just check in with yourself.
Hmm, maybe there's something Icould be doing differently.

(58:58):
Putting a little more effort,that's all and that's.
I love that.

Yeah, that is good feedback, right?
So if I'm not getting as manycompliments, maybe people are
not finding things to complimentbecause people are going to
pick up, they're going to saythe good things, they're not
going to point out the badthings.
But if they're not sayinganything, yep.

Oh.

I love that.
That's great informationactually.

That's terrific, wow, okay, so anything else that
people should be thinking aboutor playing with or tweaking
during the holidays and as thenew year comes around, so they
could bring their new them tothe new year.
Yeah, I mean just it's OK.

(59:38):
When we're entering a new year,we're always thinking about, oh
my gosh, we have these newgoals and we're all excited, you
know, weight loss goals or wehave all these goals.
But, like, I want you torealize that the thing that I'm
talking about today is somethingyou could do, that can happen,
like that you literally couldsay I want to have this look, I
want to appear differently.
I have this vision for myself.

(59:59):
You can literally go and takeaction and the next day look
completely different, and thatwould shift everything so fast.
Losing weight takes time.
Coaching and therapy does taketime.
Not saying don't do thesethings because I do these things
.
I just mean start somethingthat you could do immediately

(01:00:20):
that would help you shift yourenergy quick and then take the
time to work on these otherthings, because sometimes we
just need that quick, quick,quick thing that helps us shift
our identity, shifts our mood,shifts our energy, and then we
can spend the time going indeeper or, you know, in these
other types of ways.

(01:00:41):
I believe in that because I dothese things too.
That's awesome.
So two things that I want tooffer around I do these things
too.

Emma Viglucci (01:00:46):
That's awesome.
So two things that I want tooffer around that, just so that
people could receive that easier.
The takeaway is excellent Justtake action and you'll have an
immediate effect.
Result right In case peoplecan't take action and people are
like, right, and I don't knowhow and I don't know what I

(01:01:08):
would do, and whatever all thethings that hold people back
what I would offer is sit withyourself, go in, connect
yourself.
Higher self, higher power,whatever your inclinations are,
but definitely higher self,higher power, whatever your

(01:01:28):
inclinations are, but definitelychill and don't be so external
to hone in, because from thatplace, check in.
Right.
What would be the little actionthat I could take, what would
make me feel better?
What is the little tweak that Icould do?
Is it a jacket or is it a dress?
Is it a haircut or is itsigning up for the gym?
It doesn't even have to be likestart like the crazy workout
routine, just like one littlestep, one little action that you

(01:01:49):
could start taking, and thattiny behavior can invite other
behaviors, other things that youcould start kind of getting
this ball rolling so you couldembrace more and more of the
shift that you want to create.
Right.

Tavia Sharp (01:02:03):
Yes.

Yes, very, very nice.
You said immediate change, yeah.
So something that I'd like tosay to people all the time is
and this is when we're incouples therapy and we're like
in the middle of things andsometimes what comes up is that
we are our own creations, right?
So this is totally that's whatyou're saying.
You could just change, changeyour whole look like this, yeah,

(01:02:25):
right, so I'm choosing to do myhair like this.
I chose this color lipstick onpurpose because I wanted to look
good for the house and it'sbrighter than I usually wear.
I chose this red nail polish onpurpose for this, right?
So, like these are choices, Ididn't have to look like this
today.
I could look completelydifferent, but we create
ourselves, right?
We, day in and day out.
How much do I weigh?

(01:02:46):
How fit I am, what hair color Ihave, what you know like what,
how thick my eyebrows are or not, I don't know, whatever, all
the things, right?
Whether we have facial hair ornot.
If you're a guy, like we arechoosing our look day in and day
out, how groomed we are, hownot groomed we are.
Like our sizes, right?
So my husband's very tall, so Ichoose to wear a wedge, simple

(01:03:09):
shoe in the house.
So I feel taller, right, so I'mactually bigger and when I wear
a plus, my husband's like whathappened?
It's very obvious, right?
Because, like, the discrepancyin height is pretty significant
and but I feel more in alignment.
So that's part of my creation.
I'm actually a taller person, Imade myself taller wow, that's
interesting yeah, and, and eventhe way I experienced at home

(01:03:33):
when I wear flats or flip-flopsright, so I'm at a certain level
with the tables and thecounters and stuff in my
eyesight, but when I wear thelittle wedge and it's not the
huge wedge, um, but I'm like twoor three inches higher.
I don't know what it's like twoinches huge.
I'm like experiencing at homeat a different eye level, right,
yeah, and, and when I used togo into the office, I had even

(01:03:54):
higher heels, like that was adifferent experience.
And when I wore flattered shoes, it felt different, like your
experience of the world,different ice levels right,
that's part of our co-creation.
Yeah, that's just a tiny littlething, right, but everything
about us is created.
Everything about us is a habitour thoughts, our feelings, our
behaviors and what we choose towear, right, everything, how we

(01:04:17):
choose to react and think andfeel and all the things and how
much we hold ourselves back.
Yeah, so true, 100, but wecould create whatever we want.
Yes, Immediately.

I mean, you can literally just get behind the
driver's seat of your own image.
That's why I literally say justget in a driver's seat and say
I want to feel different, I wantto look different, I want to
dress different.
Everything is your choice.
I love that, yes.

I love it, so we get it.
We get it.
Yes, very good.
So last parting, words ofwisdom that you want to share
with our audience.

Oh, what could I say?
I mean, I really think it isthat just knowing that you get
to be in the driver's seat.
So take a step back and reallythink about am I showing up as
my best self?
You know what's something Icould do differently, or do I
want to do differently?
I mean, if you're happy with it, that's awesome, you know.
But if, if you're not, then andyou're feeling like, wow, I

(01:05:19):
could do better, well, justreally look at that and think
what, what could I do better?
And what would that look liketo me?
And you get to be in thedriver's seat.
You get to be in control because, let me tell you, you don't
want other people to control itfor you, right, you control your

(01:05:40):
image.
So if you're not showing up inthe best way, guess what?
That leaves it to the otherperson to think X, y, z.
But if you are saying, hey, I'mintentionally putting myself
out there like this, then that'sthe way you want to be
interpreted and you're incontrol.
So I always say why not?
Why would you not want to be?

(01:06:00):
It's your image, it's yourbrand, right, and this is how we
have to be.
Now we live in a world where itmatters.

Yeah, the truth was the imprint, was the, was
the impression that you want to?
What's the impact?
What's the magnetism like?
What do you want to put outright to get and to help you
create everything that you wantto create and enjoy and have in
life?
Absolutely, oh good.

Yes.

Perfect, beautiful.
Well, tavia, this has been afabulous conversation, so fun,
one of the funnest ones.
Oh good, this is a beautiful,fun topic.
I love it and I'm all aboutshifting identities and this is
totally a compliment to that.
So I love it.
Good and so fun speaking withyou.
Thank you so much for comingtoday.

(01:06:47):
Thank you so much for having metoday, my pleasure and to the
listeners, I will see you at thenext one.
Bye.

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