S12 E4 The Invisible Load: Balancing Business, Family, and Self Without Losing Yourself

Welcome back to Successfully Chaotic!

In this heartfelt solo episode of our “Unapologetically You” series, host Maria Daniels dives into one of the rawest realities many of us face but rarely talk about—what happens when you’re giving it your all in business, family, and life, and it still feels like you’re not enough.

Maria opens up about the exhausting in-between moments, the invisible mental load, and the constant juggling act of trying to balance it all without losing yourself. You'll hear honest insights about redefining “enough,” letting go of perfection, and finding strength in vulnerability. If you’ve ever felt stretched thin or like you’re spinning your wheels, you’re not alone.

Maria is here to remind you that sometimes just showing up is more than enough—and that embracing your messy, real, and unapologetic self is your true superpower. So grab your favorite drink and settle in—this episode is all about giving yourself grace and remembering you’re already doing amazing things.

Be a guest on a future episode of Successfully Chaotic: https://www.successfullychaotic.com/be-a-guest

Listen to all previous episodes at: https://www.successfullychaotic.com/podcast

 

Episode Transcript

(00:07):
Life is a winding road
no telling where it goes
Driving through days and nights
Won't stop for traffic lights
And. I. I really want to
know, really wanna know

(00:31):
If I let me figure
out where the road goes
Even if I'm falling down I will keep on searching for
my highs
you can say I lost my mind I will keep on holding my
head high Even if the sky is

(00:55):
falling down.
Welcome back to Successfully Chaotic and one of my favorite series
I've ever done. Unapologetically, you. If you're new here,
I'm Maria Daniels and today I want to talk about something that I know
a lot of you are feeling but maybe you're not saying out

(01:17):
loud. What do you do when you're giving
everything you've got, literally everything. And it still feels like
you're failing everything. It still feels like it's never enough. Not
enough for your business, not enough for you, not enough for your
family. It's literally that gun punch moment
where you're exhausted, stretched thin, and somehow

(01:39):
you're still wondering if you drop the ball yet again. So we're
going to go there today because I want this to be real. I
know I've experienced this more than one time. And just when I think I'm out
of the woods with it, then boom, you know, kind of life starts life
in again and you're not really sure how to pick up those pieces.
I really don't think we talk about this part enough. So for

(02:02):
a lot of people that end up in those real and raw moments
where they feel like they're failing everything, they feel like they're all alone.
And I'm here to tell you, friend, you are not alone. It's something
that I think every single one of us has felt at
least once or twice. For me, like one or two million times,
probably. It's that part where you're literally doing

(02:24):
all the things. Maybe you're managing a business or
running a company or raising humans, maybe you're
homeschooling or trying to get your kids to school on time so you don't get
that truancy letter. Or maybe you're working a side hustle and you're dreaming
of getting out of that 9 to 5 to do your own thing
and you feel like you're just failing. You feel like you're

(02:45):
failing all of it. You look around at everyone's
highlight reel and suddenly it feels like maybe you're the one that's
broken. But I want to say this, and I want to say it super clear.
You're not broken. You're in the in between. And we get in the
in between all the time. Because, you know, as much as it
sucks to be in those moments, that's where growth

(03:07):
happens. And if we don't end up in those moments, we literally stay
the same. The space where everything
matters, where everything feels urgent,
those are the moments where it can make or break us.
And that's also the moments where you feel like you're never really
fully showing up anywhere because you are stretched so

(03:30):
thin. I want to talk about that. The mental
load on that, like, we don't really name it.
And it's not just, you know, the to do list.
It's the emotional weight of being the one that has
to keep all the plates spinning. It's the mental load of remembering
everyone's appointment or making the decisions that no one sees. It's

(03:53):
keeping the business afloat while your child needs you,
or, you know, you're having to, you know, go through your marriage
challenges, or, you know, there's. There's a death in the family
or the economy takes another change and you're like, trying
to figure out, like, what's the best way to pivot my business. So,
you know, my team, my business, myself, we all survive

(04:15):
this. It's a lot, right? It's invisible,
but it is heavy. And the worst part is,
even when you're doing a hundred things right, your
brain will find the one thing that you forgot about
and hang all your self worth on that. It's the part
that really just breaks my heart for so many women, because I know

(04:37):
that, I know that well. And there's of course, some tools and
tricks to be able to get yourself out of that. But in that, in that
moment, no matter what tools and tricks that you've learned over the years, in
that moment, it still just sucks and it feels so
heavy and you feel like you're in the dark.
We don't give ourselves credit for all

(04:59):
of the holding that we do every single day.
And if no one has said this to you lately, I know you're holding
a lot and I see you. I, you know,
when I started this show, I wasn't, I wasn't really sure where I was
going with it. But I think that my
mission with this has become to be the one

(05:21):
that says the things that we've all experienced.
And it doesn't make us money to say these things right,
but it makes us real. It reminds us that we're human.
It reminds us that I don't care what person you're Idolizing.
They have felt that this way, too. And I
think as we're kind of going on this journey together, we acknowledge that

(05:44):
we also have to kind of think about, all right, well, how do I acknowledge
that I feel this way? How do I feel my feelings in that moment? Because
I think that's super important. But also, how do we redefine that
word? Enough? I want to. I want to talk about that word, that.
That little word, Enough. Who even
defines that word? Because I know for

(06:06):
myself, I've realized that enough doesn't exist when
you keep moving the bar on yourself. Because sometimes we
set these unrealistic expectations and then punish ourselves for
not meeting them. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a go getter. I
love to set the bar high. I love to try to achieve things. But
there also has to be a realness attached to it

(06:28):
that I'm not by myself. I'm not, you know, living
a life with no friends, family, children.
I'm living a life, a part of other people's lives, and I
choose to do so. So sometimes these.
These bars that we set for ourselves accidentally
don't fit into other people's lives, too. And

(06:51):
so they have to be kind of fixed on the go.
Here's what I started doing imperfectly, by the way, but here's what I started
doing. I check in with myself at the end of the day, not with
a list of what I didn't do, but with a list of what I
did show up for. And sometimes that's hard because if you've had a really tough
day, your brain wants to point out all of these things, and it's survival. You

(07:13):
know, we could talk about the science behind it, but today I just want to
talk about the feelings behind it. It's important
to really reel yourself back in in those moments and
make that list of what you did show up for. Sometimes it's, I
showed it for a client who needed support, or I made sure my
kids were fed and hugged today, or I chose rest

(07:35):
instead of feeling guilty for resting. And sometimes
I just survived today, because
sometimes that counts. You don't need
to do more to be enough, because you already are enough. And that's
the first thing I think we have to learn. And we learn it. And then
we have to remind ourselves again and again and again.

(07:57):
Because here's the real truth. Some days
your business is going to need you more, and your family might get the
leftovers. Other days, your kids are
going to have a hard time and they're going to need Their mom and
that client calls just going to have to wait. And it sucks
because both parts of your life matter deeply and

(08:20):
both are going to tug on you like you're on this rope
in a never ending game of tug of war.
But here is the mindset shift on that
and it's something I had to learn. It is not about a
perfect 5050 balance that does not exist. There is no
destination of reaching balanced. And that was

(08:43):
an eye opener for me because I thought that I could, you know, run fast
enough, create the strategy fast enough, do make sure all the systems
were in place, which of those things are super important. But I thought I would
arrive at this destination called balanced.
And that is not a destination,
it is a verb. We are always

(09:04):
balancing. It's not about finding that perfect
5050 balance. It's about intentional trade offs.
It's about making a choice today and trusting that you'll make
the space for the other part tomorrow. You're not neglecting
anything. You're navigating. And I think that's the key. If
you're listening to this right now and you're in that place, the one that

(09:26):
feels like you're spinning your wheels, you're missing milestones, you're never
going to catch up. You're. You're failing everyone and everything.
Maybe you're searching through your Google Photos and see
that little baby that now is not so little
anymore. And you're having questions and regrets
and wondering if you chose the right thing.

(09:50):
I want you to remember, you're not doing it wrong.
You're in the messy middle. You're in the meaningful middle. You're
building a life with love. And maybe you decide to do
things completely different. That's also okay. Or maybe you can say, you know
what? I have navigated to the best of my ability. I
have found balance where I could. I am chasing

(10:13):
two things, or maybe five things that I love
so much. And it's hard.
That life that you're building with love, it doesn't need to
be picture perfect. It just needs you. It
needs you real and present and
unapologetically human. You're giving

(10:35):
everything because you care. And that fact,
the fact that you care so, so, so, so deeply, that's not
weakness. That is your power. You're not behind.
You're just building something real. And that's okay to feel the weight of it,
because it's a lot. You're doing some amazing things. And I have to
remind myself of that sometimes. Because sometimes I am tired.

(10:58):
I'm tired of carrying the mental load of what I feel like is everything.
But at the end of the day, I feel
empowered by it. In some ways, it's just navigating
through those hard times. All right, that is all
for today, friend. It's quick, short, solo episode and again,
we'll be pulling in some guests coming up soon, but

(11:21):
if this episode hit you like a gut punch a
little bit, just know that you're not alone. I'm in it, too.
So many of us are in it too. And all of us
are walking behind everything that's going
on in our life on this beautifully chaotic
path of business and life and motherhood and

(11:44):
attempting to stay grounded through it all. And it's. It's hard,
but it's also wonderful. If this helped,
just share it with somebody else who needs to hear it today. And as always,
keep showing up as you're a messy, honest,
full self and I'll catch you next time on Successfully
Chaotic. Until then, stay unapologetically you.