May 18, 2025 • 47 mins
We celebrate Amanda's 50th birthday with wisdom from friends.
• Amanda's birthday party
• The social awkwardness of parties
• Winthrop scores his first two goals of the soccer season
• Josh rants about movie soundtracks and their heavy-handed emotional manipulation
• We share a segment from our "Unscrew It Up" podcast with humorous solutions to common marriage problems
Write to us at FamiliarWilsons@gmail.com and let us know: Do you still party as much as you used to before the pandemic?
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Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the
story.
You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.
The following podcast useswords like and and also.
If you're not into any of thatshit, then now's your chance.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Three, two, one run.
I'm Super Fam with the WilsonsGet it.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.
I'm Amanda.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
And I'm Josh and we're the podcast that's about
marriage 2.0 with kids and allthe side quests, and one side
quest that we had this week wasyour birthday party.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Yeah, not technically my birthday yet.
Don't make me 50 yet, but wecelebrated my 50th birthday.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Did that bother you, that we celebrated it on
Saturday and you're not 50 tillWednesday and we kept saying
you're 50?
Did that pull on you a littlebit?
Speaker 4 (00:56):
No, because it felt like I was like bet, I'm not, ha
ha.
Well, next weekend is Muffy'shigh school graduation, so we
weren't able to do it after mybirthday.
So, no, it's fine, it's good.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
For this birthday.
I wanted to make sure thatpeople told you what they
thought of you.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Yeah, it was really lovely.
It was almost like having amemorial service, but while
you're still alive, likeeverybody was saying what they
appreciated about me, but alsogiving me advice for being 50.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Right.
So here's some of the thingsthat they told you.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
This is john watson from 100 things we learned from
film podcast and all the yearson this planet, I've realized
one thing right, and this is afact do not eat a, pull them in
and then drink fresh orangesmark from 100 things said this
um, my bit of advice is not abit of advice I think you'll
(01:43):
ever need.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
It's something that you probably have always adhered
to and it's never turned down afree gin.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Of course Dan and Gavin Belson had to chime in.
Here's Gavin.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
Wow, 21.
So make sure you enjoy yourfirst drink, but do it
responsibly.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Have a great day and Dan said this Now a little
birdie that I threw into a wallhas told me it's your 50th
birthday.
I thought to myself who elsehas turned 50 this year?
Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, in her words, first class up
in the sky popping champagne,living my life in the fast lane.
Wise words indeed.
Speaker 5 (02:23):
And Daniel J Buckets from buckets, from casting views
, said this I'm definitely notone for wise advice, but I
thought about it and there's twothings I think I can say.
One is eat birthday cake likeno one's watching definitely
something I would do, probablydo on days.
It's not my birthday, to befair, um, but yet that's number.
And number two is don't wastetime making a birthday wish.
(02:46):
Just tell Josh everything youwant and get him to do it for
you.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Friend of the program .
Chris Barron of the Spin Doctorsaid this Dude life is just
beginning.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I don't think I really knew what the hell I was
doing before I turned 50.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
It's so good.
It was so good and it'stypically I feel awkward when
people are like saying nicethings to me and everybody's
looking at me, but I I maybe itwas the sangria or the whiskey
sour you made was very into this.
So you had a video of all ofour friends who couldn't be here
and we were all watching it inthe living room and all of our
friends were watching me watchit and it was.
It was really nice.
(03:22):
And then you got other peoplewho weren't able to come also to
text in advice as well.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, it's pretty important that we tell you what
we think of you so that you hearit.
You know you said that itsounds, it felt like a, or it
sounded like a memorial service.
Right, I think I've said thisbefore on the podcast Don't wait
till the memorial service tosay all the great things about
the people that you enjoy andthat you love, because that's
(03:48):
I've been to so many memorialservices and every time I hear
these stories I think did theytell that person?
Does that person know?
So it's critically importantfor me to make sure that you
know what you mean to everyone.
So if you all have somesomething to say great about
Amanda, please get in touch withus familiarwilsonsgmailcom and
(04:11):
let her know.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
But only if it's nice .
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
A lot of things went right.
I made two cocktails.
I made a whiskey sour mix and asangria mix.
We ordered catered food, whichwas perfect.
We didn't have to fix anything.
A lot of things went right.
But we still got to figure outthis thing of there's always
going to be a first person toshow up or a first couple to
show up and there's always goingto be people who stay late you
(04:35):
see what I'm saying, yeah weneed to organize this better so
everyone shows up at the sametime and so that everyone leaves
at the same time, because thenthere's no like awkwardness for
the people who show up bythemselves because no one wants
to be the first people there.
No one showed up at seven, bythe way.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Yeah, but they were there like 7.05 or 7.10.
Right, right, right.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
But I'm sure that they showed up that late because
they're like we don't want tobe the first ones.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
But they still were.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
But they still were, and that can be awkward.
And then, of course, being thelast one to leave, that's also
like a bit of awkwardness aswell.
So I have some suggestions here.
Right, we don't open the doorsuntil everyone's outside waiting
to come in, like they do at aconcert.
You know, Sure, the banddoesn't start playing until,
like, everyone's set there.
Right, we just have people atthe door and when there's a good
(05:26):
enough crowd, then we open thedoors and everyone comes on in,
right?
Or we have them gather inanother place, like a, an
off-site place, and then we havea bus bring them transport yeah
, yeah, yeah.
Or maybe we just send a bus topick everyone up at their places
and then come and that willsolve the everyone leaving thing
.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
It's like, okay, bus is leaving, that's right if you
get on the bus now or you'restaying here, well, no, that's
not an option, or you're?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
staying on the porch, all right.
What is your solution?
Speaker 4 (05:51):
No, it's like a Zoom meeting.
So if you have enough Zoommeetings, you eventually will
run into one where it saysyou're in the host's waiting
room.
You're waiting on them to letyou in.
So that's basically what you'vesaid, right, it's waiting on
the people, so we have a waitingroom yes and then we let them
in, right, and then we just endthe meeting like in the call.
If the host ends the call,everybody's gone.
(06:13):
So then we just say, okay, alldone, and and then then they
have to leave, they don't haveto go home, but they can't stay
here, kind of thing like a bell,like last call that.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Yeah, that's awkward, though I think what you should
do at the onset of the party istell everyone the ending time of
the party.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Well, I think if you send out invites, you're, you
know, say like seven to 10 orwhatever.
You just said, seven.
You didn't set an end time,although what you did was just
while I was talking to somebodywho was still here, so that was
your way of being like I'm alldone, I'm asleep.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Can I tell you that I was playing possum there.
Friend, I was awake.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
But you figured, if you looked asleep, somebody
might.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Didn't work.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
But we got to figure out a way to fix this for our
next party.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
And I do want to have lots more parties in the house.
I really, really enjoyed thator a themed party.
You know I love a themed party.
So we had a small 80s gathering, which was lovely, but people
just aren't.
I mean, it's five, four years,I guess, past when we finally
started socializing again duringthe pandemic and people just
haven't quite recovered from theisolation.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
I think, though, too, that the pandemic really
cranked up the stress level inthis world, and it's never gone
down.
Yeah, it's just differentstress now, but it's never, ever
gone down.
Oftentimes, I just want to comehome and curl up with you all.
But I recognize that that'sboring and I don't want to wake
up 10 years from now and be likewell, where did all that time?
(08:01):
Go.
So that's why I want to have allthese parties.
So, folks listening, what doyou think?
Do you still party?
Do you party as much as youused to party?
Do you party hardy?
Do you party more than you usedto party?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Let us know.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
FamiliarWilsons at gmailcom.
What.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
No, I'm also interested in our international
friends, like Monique.
What's the deal with peoplegathering in germany is it?
Is it being done atpre-pandemic levels also?
I feel like the belsons arefairly active, but I don't know
if it's parties.
They go to concerts andwrestling and stuff but weddings
, gavin.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Gavin goes to weddings by himself.
Does that count as socializing?
Speaker 4 (08:36):
yes, yeah, that's what it.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
That's a party, and then in scotland, john and
kirsty, I wonder, do you all uhparty like it's 1899?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
I mean, they eat out a lot Like I see some really
lovely restaurant pics on theirInstagram.
But, yes, are you gatheringwith people and we don't mean
meeting with people Are?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
you gathering people, you know all wearing kilts and
no underwear.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I feel like not wearing underwear.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
It makes for a freer society.
I bet they party all the time.
Are you kidding?
If I never had to wearunderwear again, man, I'd just
be partying.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
I mean, that sounds like a different kind of party.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
No, not necessarily, Not necessarily.
But I'd be there, I'd have mykilts on, I'd be dancing and
swaying and ringing like a bell,ding ding ding.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Don't you think it would have some chafing?
There's cream for that Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Also on Saturday we had Winthrop's last soccer game
of the season and perhaps hislast soccer game ever.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Well, it was supposed to be last week but it got
rained out, so there was a oneweek rain delay.
So he had a week off and it was.
He started on Friday.
I don't want to go.
I don't want to do it and Iconveniently left the house to
go buy things for the party,while you got him ready and went
to soccer and I met you guysthere.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
He was fine.
No, he was fine.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
It wound up being a good day.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
We got there and because I feel like people
weren't planning on playing thisweek because they thought last
week was the last game a lotless children showed up and I
think a lot less coaches showedup as well.
So the opposing team, which wasGunter's team, which they've
been spanked roundly by Gunter'steam all three times, they
played them this season.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
And if you remember from last season, Gunter and
Winthrop were on the same teamand then this season they played
against one another.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
But only four people showed up on Gunter's team this
week and their coach wasn't.
There was a new coach, so theyhad to figure out what to do.
What they ended up doing wasjust taking kids from both teams
and picking two captains andhaving them re-pick the teams.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
The kids pick the teams.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, Winthrop ended up
being on Gunter's team andWinthrop scored two goals pretty
immediately.
The only two goals he scoredthis season, and so I feel like
that turned the season aroundand maybe, maybe, maybe he'll
come back.
I asked him and they were goodgoals too, by the way.
They were solid kicks, boy.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Yeah, and so whatever team he wound up being on, it
was like a mix right, just grayjerseys, that's all we know.
They won.
It's the first the win of theseason.
I think up until now they onlyhad maybe two goals the whole
season I don't even think thatso he scored two goals.
They won three to two and wewere like that's good, we're
ending on at least a feeling ofaccomplishment for him.
(11:22):
I asked him today I was you andMuffy went to see a movie and
so I was taking him to go runsome errands and I said so how
was soccer for you yesterday Bad?
I was like, really why?
Because I wanted to be onGunter's team and then he got
switched.
So I guess pretty immediatelyafter he and Gunter were on the
(11:42):
same team, Gunter had to go tothe other team.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yeah, it wasn't fair.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
He was very unhappy about that, that's what he was
unhappy about.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
One thing I noticed, though, that I wanted to talk to
you about is, before theydecided to repick the teams,
they were trying to get some ofthe kids to just switch over to
the other team, to even theteams out, and the coach kept
asking the kids well, do youwant to do it?
Well, do you want to do it?
And trying to convince them.
I don't know.
That kind of left a weird tastein my mouth.
At some point you just say tothe kids look, this is what
we're going to do, go do it.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Well, you're leaning on like barely seven-year-olds
because Winthrop is on the olderend of most of these kids.
You're leaning on barelyseven-year-olds to make these
decisions and it they just needyou to tell them you're going.
You're going, you're going likenumber off.
Whatever I asked, you said thatwinthrop did not volunteer to
go over.
But I asked him in the cartoday if he was upset about
(12:38):
being switched and he said no, Iwanted to go, I asked to go no,
that's not really how thathappened.
Okay, well, that's how heremembered I kept trying to
convince him to go.
No, that's not really how thathappened.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Okay, well, that's how he remembered.
I kept trying to convince himto go.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Because you wanted him to play with Gunter.
I did yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
But I think that he didn't want to disappoint or
hurt the feelings of the kids onhis team.
Yeah, sweet boy, and so whatthey ended up doing was receding
the whole thing.
But I just think in generalsometimes we give kids too much
say Like I understand this thing, like we want them to be
individuals and develop apersonality.
No, don't say it like that, butlike just tell them this is what
(13:12):
we're gonna do, and then we'regonna do it and let them develop
their individuality later.
Sometimes it's okay just totell them this is what's up.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
I don't think you're asking them to not develop their
individuality.
Now what I hear you saying, andfrom a developmental standpoint
it is no, it's appropriate whatI'm telling you.
It's appropriate because we cangive them way too much choice
and then they have decisionfatigue, right, they don't know,
it's paralyzing.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Yes, let's wait until they're my age to let the
decision fatigue set in as ithas.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Or they just then become very entitled and I get
to pick everything right.
Then you have kids who neverhave any say, never have any
agency, and they will start tofight back against that.
Why are you sniffing my nailpolish while we're recording?
Quiet, keep going, I'm justsitting here, josh has picked up
the nail polish off the bedsidetable, open it and started
sniffing it.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Well, I didn't know what it was until I opened it.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
But I mean, clearly it looks like a nail, anyway.
All right, how did it smell?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
It was very strong.
Okay, I feel like I justinhaled some wasabi.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Yeah, if Josh starts talking a little loopy, we all
know why he's been Sniffing thenail polish.
Anyway, you can have kids whodon't get any agency and then
they start fighting againsteverything, and so it is a
balance, right.
And also it's okay to say thereare things you get to choose
and there are things you do notget to choose Because you know
what as adults, that is alsostill the case for us.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Well right, like chores, for example, like we
could have Winthrop do chores,yeah, and we don't.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I want him to start helping the dishes.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
All right, take that over.
We did have him feeding the dog, yes, but he pitches the
biggest fit about how badbecause we feed the dog like
refrigerated dog food, like fromWhole Foods, like bougie dog
food, and he had a fit about howit smells.
And then he would pour half thebag in at one time and that
(15:05):
stresses me out because the dogfood is not cheap.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Listen, I'm here to tell you.
I taught myself how to likebeet juice.
He can get used to feeding thedog like once a day.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Okay, how old were you when you taught yourself how
to like beet juice?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Like 10 years ago.
What's the point of that?
Speaker 4 (15:20):
I don't understand.
And how old is he?
He?
What's the point of that?
I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
And how old is he?
He's younger and more flexiblethan I am.
All right.
Are kids too entitled?
Get in touch, let us know.
Familiarwilson's at gmailcom.
We did go see a movie.
We went to go see Thunderboltsin the theater.
Muffy and I did, and I liked itvery much.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Now I've been hearing that it's a good movie and the
two older boys, daniel andAndrew, said that they liked it.
So I went into it thinking okay, well, this won't be bad.
But it was surprisingly deep.
It touched on issues ofloneliness and depression and
feeling emptiness and all ofthese things, and it actually
(16:02):
took time to develop a couple ofcharacters in her stories which
often these type of moviesdon't do.
I thought Florence Pugh did anexceptional job.
I like her a lot.
I understand she's been in alot of shit.
I haven't seen most of thosemovies, so this is the first
time I'm really seeing her andshe's great.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Muffy's a big fan.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
No, no, I liked her a lot.
One thing bothered me, though.
This music is doing my head in.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
What music?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Movie music is doing my head in Okay it is so nakedly
cues to tell me how to feelabout a certain scene oh, right,
okay.
Oh, this is a triumphant scene,because the hero's showing up
on the motorcycle and you shouldfeel this way about it because
of these trumpets that areplaying.
Or, oh, this is a sad scene nowyou know why?
(16:50):
Because these violins areplaying in a minor key.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
But movie soundtracks have done that since the
beginning of the golden pictureage or golden age of pictures,
or whatever it's called.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
It's too much.
Listen, I am part of thegeneration that has really
rebelled against being marketedto right Gen X, just hates being
marketed to, hates beingmanipulated, hates being told
what to do.
And I cannot, cannot deal withtrying to pay attention to
what's happening in this movieand then also now hearing this.
(17:23):
You know the tinkle of thisbell, meaning that I need to be
excited or whatever.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
I'm more intelligent than that.
I can just follow along what'shappening with the moving
pictures and the dialogue.
I don't need to be baby fed myemotions with this music as well
, and I will tell you, musicabsolutely is an emotional
trigger for me it is.
There are some songs that Istill cannot listen to, like the
(17:48):
Queen song.
I don't know if you've heard ofit.
Who Wants to Live Forever, doyou?
Speaker 4 (17:51):
know this song.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
It was in the Highlander soundtrack.
Okay, exceptional music.
I'll play it for you um.
You know this song cats in thefucking cradle.
Yes, I cannot listen to thatsong.
I still can't listen to thatsong?
Yeah, that's music does affectme emotionally, so therefore
don't try to manipulate me withit.
Don't do it.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
Don't do it so do you just want silent silence,
sometimes talking, talking,talking yes, because you know
what.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
That's what happens in real life can you imagine can
you imagine people carryingaround their phones, right, and
you know they want to make aparticularly stirring uh speech,
like in front of a boardroom,and they start to play like the
indiana jones?
Speaker 4 (18:28):
theme music.
My high school football teamused to walk out onto the field
to the imperial march well, sure, I mean, then I mean, but they,
never won, so it was a littlebit Well, yeah, but at the end
of the day neither did theEmpire and another thing.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
I get it.
You want to inject humor.
But I am so very much over theSeinfeldization of the MCU and
all these other franchises whereeverything is a quip,
everything is a clever banterand oh, isn't that fun.
They're fighting for theirlives.
But you know I'm going to sithere and say something cute and
funny.
Don't like that, not necessary,don't do that.
(19:04):
Like I can watch the superheromovies, you know I like them.
Show me one that's like withrealistic dialogue, right,
things happen that are kind ofnaturalistic, like Thor is
fighting the thing and all of asudden he burps.
You never see that that's notright.
Or like stubs his toe orsomething paper cut, it happens.
Or, god forbid.
(19:25):
Like they stumble on theirwords none of these fuckers
stumble on their words.
I'm stumbling.
You're listening to thispodcast right now.
You understand that even me,who's done five years of
podcasting, still my my tonguetrick trips me up.
Right.
See, right, there it happenedagain, like that's just a
natural way of speaking and Iprefer that.
You know who I like.
I like the writing of davidmamet now he turned out not to
(19:48):
be a a great guy, great writer,great naturalistic writer.
You ever watch glenn gary,glenn ross, this movie you
should watch that.
All the different little littlehiccups and all the little
stumbles of that's all written.
You know that.
That's all written in there.
It's like music, it's likenaturalistic music.
It's like the symphony of thegarbage pail.
It's like a New York streetscene.
(20:09):
It's great and I love it.
That's the kind of dialogue Ithink is interesting.
You done Well.
I want to hear what you have tosay about this.
Don't give me.
You done.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
I'm happy with the suspending my disbelief, and
this is a world in which themusic swells and the people
don't paper cut themselves orstub their toes and they don't
trip over their language.
I'm fine with that.
So we're allowed to havedifferent opinions.
I was just wondering how longyou were going to go on that
rant.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I can go further, but the damn dog is making noise.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Well, it's because it's his dinner time and he's on
about.
He knows he's got an internalclock and he knows it's time.
So I'm not going to lookdirectly at him and that might
help.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Did you all see Thunderbolts?
Did you like it?
Write in FamiliarWilson's atgmailcom, Because it was
Amanda's birthday.
We couldn't prepare what areyou laughing at?
I'm laughing at what I'm aboutto say.
We couldn't prepare as much forthe podcast.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
We never prepare for the podcast.
What's wrong with you?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
But I want to play a portion from another podcast
that we have done.
We haven't released an episodein a while, but I think that it
might be one that you'd beinterested in hearing.
So this is a part of ourpodcast Unscrew it Up, where we
talk about unscrewing upmarriage, and it's really just
about that.
In this particular episode, wetalk about how to make marriage
(21:29):
better.
So do enjoy.
Ladies and gentlemen.
The Wilsons will now unscrew itup.
Ladies and gentlemen, theWilsons will now unscrew it up,
and now it's time for theWilsons to unscrew up marriage.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
We have had some practice.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
How long have we been married?
Speaker 4 (21:51):
We have been married for nine years.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
That's right Together for 10.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
But we also I mean previously have been married
before in our lifetimes, sowe've done it not well once, and
I mean almost a decade intodoing it well at least I think,
unless this is the episode inwhich you tell me you're not
happy.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Well, no, we just started a new podcast, so
clearly we're staying togetherfor longer.
I mean that's, this is a lot ofwork.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
I mean, if you give the dog a selfie stick, he might
be able to co-host.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
If you give a dog a selfie stick, isn't?
Speaker 4 (22:21):
that like, that's like a mouse and muffin, so
three common problems inmarriage, communication, family
and money Yep.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So you kind of are on the same wavelength I think we
do pretty good with most ofthose.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
I think we do well with money because we have our
own bank accounts.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
This is something that I highly recommend.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Same.
This is not something I didbefore and it is something that
you and I went into this sayingwe'll split everything, but
we're going to keep our ownaccounts, and let me tell you, I
think that that's been a gooddecision.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Well, that was a little bit of serious advice
there.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Let's get back to the wackiness.
So we are coming up withsolutions to some common
problems in marriage.
As we do every week, we eachcome up with a certain number of
problems.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
I think last week I had seven or something
ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
We narrow those down to five and then we forward them
on to a council or a personsometimes, or an organization,
so that that organization orperson can take our solutions
and make them real.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
So who's unscrewing up marriage for us?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
We're going to send this to the milk board, the
national milk board.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
They're okay.
Do they not have anything elsegoing on right now?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Milk is kind of what it is.
There's nothing that you'regoing to innovate about milk.
Milk is done Right now.
They're just caretakers.
They're just sitting aroundlike the Maytag repairman.
Wow, Wow.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
You made fun of my Laverne and Shirley Laverne and
Shirley Jeez.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
So how many do you have?
I have four.
Okay, I have four as well, sowhy don't you go first?
Speaker 4 (23:56):
What are the main problems in a marriage?
It would be communication,dealing with kids and or family
dealing with household things,right, and then money.
So I'm here for the householdthings.
First, separate bathrooms.
Now we already have theseparate closets down.
At our last house we shared acloset, but you were toward the
back of the closet so I didn'thave to move towards your things
(24:17):
.
A closet, but you were towardthe back of the closet so I
didn't have to move towards yourthings.
We have separate closets nowand that's lovely.
And I'm not saying that I wantto not be in the same room with
you at nighttime, but you knowhow they have the Jack and Jill
bedrooms with the bathroom inthe middle.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
No, I've never heard of that.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
I think it's meant for kids, but it's a bedroom
with a shared bathroom in themiddle and then another bedroom.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Oh, this isn't meant for married couples.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
No, no, no, no this is a thing in house design
called a Jack and Jill bedroom.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
Okay, I am proposing the married version of that,
which is, the bathrooms oneither side and then a shared
bedroom.
Why are you rubbing your head?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I don't think Is there a problem.
Okay, so.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
Yes, there is a problem with sharing a bathroom.
Let's talk about it.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I think that what we need to do now just for our own
sanity this is not a therapypodcast.
We are not trying to solve ourown marriage Because I happen to
think that I'm a delightfulbathroom mate.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Except that you take my towels off of my rack, where
I keep them nicely, and youthrow them over the shower and
you throw them on the ground.
Sometimes you steal mytoothbrush and I have to go
looking for my toothbrush andthe clothes don't make it into
the hamper.
We talked about this last week.
So I'm saying for my own sanity, and probably our friend Kay
should look into this as well.
Separate bathrooms.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
This episode is such a bad idea.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
This was your idea, friend.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
It was All right, so separate bathrooms.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
All right, immediately.
You don't think this isnecessary.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
I don't, but clearly that's the problem, because I'm
a lovely bathroom dweller.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
The only thing we've established is that I have too
many products.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yes, Okay, separate bathrooms.
I've gone in a differentdirection.
You know how there are marriagelicenses.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Yes, we have one.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yes, anyone can get a marriage license, easiest thing
to get.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Can you now?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
There's not much to it, right?
You have to pay money and sendit away and have somebody sign
it Useless, don't know what it'sfor.
I think it's just so that thegovernment can take money from
you, right?
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Here's another thing we need to fix sidebar.
It's not a thing for youbecause you don't have to change
your name.
If you choose to change yourname, then you have to have the
marriage license or marriagecertificate or whatever.
I have had to have it to sendto credit card companies and
things like that to prove my newlast name.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
You didn't have to change your name.
I don't demand that of anyone.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
Said the man who said I would really love to share a
last name with you.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
I know, but it could have been like Smith or Then we
would both share a last namewith you.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
I know, but it could have been like Smith or you know
, that doesn't matter to me.
Okay, and screw it up with theSmiths.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Go ahead.
I think that that should be,then, a new solution.
I didn't even think of that,but we're going to put that down
.
Like you have to pick a newname, right, you're both kind of
leaving your families andmaking a new family, yeah, and
so you have to then pick, like anew name for your family.
It's like founding a newcountry, right, okay.
(27:02):
Or like naming a baby even ifyou name it your name, you're
going to call it junior orwhatever.
So you have to.
This is a new thing.
I'm putting this in here as athing is like you have to choose
, because I do know thatsometimes that is an issue where
, like, someone doesn't want togive up their name, and usually
it is.
If you're going withtraditional roles, the man kind
(27:23):
of expects that, which I don'tthink that you should have to do
.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
So you have to pick a new name, so that but I have a
question though Is it like thegame of Boggle, where it's like
you have to take the lettersfrom your names?
That is freaking brilliant.
Yes, no, absolutely.
And then you have to create.
It's like Scrabble, yes, orBoggle, yes.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
So married name Boggle.
Yes, I love that solution.
We just came up with that, bothof us together, that's because
we're married.
Married name Boggle, and sowhat would ours have been it?
Speaker 4 (27:51):
would have been Wilson, and because that's my
Willie Milligan no we're justsaying Willie Milligan is not
our last name.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Willie Milliganson Willie.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Milliganson, I'm not saying you have to use all of
the letters.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Willie Milliganson is like.
I'll bet you that we would bethe only.
Willie Milligansons in theworld.
No dude, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
No, can you imagine in a waiting room they come out,
mrs?
No, can you imagine in awaiting room they come out, mrs
Willie Milligan?
I can't even say it.
I can't even say it.
Willie Milliganson, no, oh.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
God, okay, our son would have to be called Sven.
Whose turn is it?
Okay, so marriage licenseanyway.
So I think that the marriagelicense should be more like a
driver's license.
You have a test, you have torenew it, you've got a written
test and you've got like thepractical, and then when you
pass all those, then you'reallowed to get married.
(28:43):
So many problems would besolved, so many issues would be
avoided, if you know like youtake the test and they come back
and say sir, you did a greatjob, except for you failed the
section on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Go back study and then you can take the test again
.
But I also think then you nowhave to renew it, like every
five years or 10 years orwhatever.
Like the driver's license, youhave to get it renewed.
So it's the same thing yougotta get your license renewed.
This is a good idea.
What you've had.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yes, so marriage license like driver's license.
All right, what's yours?
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Well, so mine was along that lines of how
difficult it is as a femaletraditionally from this role
getting married and all thethings you have to change and
you have to update because youhave to go to the social
security office and you have todo all these things.
You know how, when you buy anew phone and they say, here,
give us your old phone and we'regoing to put it next to the new
phone, and then it justdownloads all of your contacts
(29:33):
and has all your apps andeverything we need whatever
version of that is for gettingmarried you just stand next to
the other person and then allthe things are done.
Your name's changed everywhere.
You're making a face at me.
This is not my problem.
This is the milkboard's problem.
They have to figure out how todo it.
Whatever voodoo they do toswitch me from one phone to the
other is what needs to happenwhen you get married and you
(29:55):
have to merge all of your things.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
So you stand next to me and then what's being
uploaded into what no?
Speaker 4 (30:01):
it's not you and I need to stand next to, like the.
I don't know what I need tostand next to.
Maybe my phone needs to go benext to something, I don't know,
but I need an easier way ofassuming a new identity.
I just mean to sound likewitness protection.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
I know, I'm not even sure how to write this down.
I don't know what it is we justproposed.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
All right, fine, this could be the one you kick off.
Go ahead, what's your next one?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
But I get it.
It's like just to make theprocess easier by you standing
next to me and then I'muploading all my information and
I'm overriding your personalityand your identity.
Yes, that's not Stepford at all.
Go ahead, all right.
Next one You've already kind ofsaid this, but I'm just putting
it in a different way Yearlyperformance reviews.
(30:43):
So how we kind of do it where Iwork is that every year you go
in and you're rated on a one tofive scale right yeah, nope.
No.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Not doing numbers?
Go ahead Not doing numbers,well.
Doing numbers well, whatever.
No, just do your thing meetsexpectations exceeds
expectations, you know whateverright not meeting, not meeting
approaching approach.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
That's right.
You go in and and we getperformance evaluations right,
and then every year also, we setour, our annual goals for the
next year.
And then expectations are clear.
We have to.
You know you measure them bymetrics.
Oh, you didn't put your clothesin the hamper.
56% of the time You're notapproaching expectations.
(31:27):
Performance reviews.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
Okay, I'm here for this, but as long as you're
getting them and I'm not, no.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Oh see, that's where this falls down.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
See, I like it better .
The way we do it at my work iswe don't do annual, we do
quarterly.
So I feel like that's more of acheck-in right.
It's not like your whole yearis going by and then you're
hearing about the 56% orwhatever.
And we also don't do a rate ona scale of one to five.
It's not a Likert scale, itwhere good performance can be
elevated, and then goals for thenext quarter.
(31:57):
So we're coming from astrength-based approach, not
coming from a deficit approach.
So, instead of 56% of the timeyou did not get your clothes in
the hamper, it's, hey, 44% ofthe time.
That's the right math.
Right, 44% of the time you gotyour clothes in their hamper.
So let's set a goal for thisnext quarter.
What could that be?
See, I try to do this with you,where I do the positive
(32:20):
reinforcement and I say thingslike thank you for taking the
trash out, before you take thetrash out, and it really angers
you.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
I do not like that.
I don't like that.
Don't thank me for somethingbefore I do it, because then it
just feels manipulative a littlebit.
It is Exactly that's the pointof it.
The reason why I like the ideaof the performance review is
that two weeks before the review, then you're like you know, you
have a chance to kind of makeit up.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Oh God, my review is coming.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Yearly performance or quarterly, whatever Performance
reviews Bam.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
So here's the thing we also do at my work, because I
work for a large institution Ifyou're applying for a job
within somewhere else within theinstitution, you can pull
people's so, like if you were ona hiring committee and they
were coming from within theinstitution, you can pull their
employee performance evaluationsand review them as a hiring
(33:11):
committee from the current jobthat they're in.
So we could employ this.
Should you start lookingelsewhere, people could pull
your performance reviewsinterested suitors, whatever.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Well see, that's very interesting.
We're putting this in yourpermanent file, that's right.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Should you decide you don't want to be here anymore,
but other people will know howmany towels you put in the
hamper.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
I feel like that's what social media is for we
already have that, that'stotally true.
All right, whose turn is it?
Speaker 4 (33:38):
Yours.
I think it's my turn, okay, somy next one is mandatory carving
out time to be alone, becausewe all know if you have the
children, they drain you andwait, you mean alone together or
alone by yourself?
no, no alone together.
We had a really lovelyexperience when we first started
dating because we both hadyounger kids.
So a couple nights a week thekids would be at their other
(34:00):
parents house and we would havethese built in date nights.
Then we got married and then wehad this other child and no one
takes him.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
He just lives here all of the time okay, so what
you're, what you're proposing,is mandatory date nights great
no, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
I'm not done no, no.
Mandatory date nights.
We do those, but no, I meanlike actual time where you don't
have to take care of anybodyelse and even if you don't have
kids, there is still like thestress of work or money or dogs
or whatever.
There should be like mandatorylittle getaways.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Okay, so it's like when you take your car in for um
annual maintenance or for, forwhatever you take your car into
the garage, and no one's usingthat car while it's getting
worked on right, so marriagemaintenance there you go
marriage maintenance checklistthere you go up six months been
married six months gotta go for.
Go away for a week up 10 yearsgotta go away for.
(34:57):
For 10 days a month 10 yearsgotta go away for 10 days A
month.
For a month yeah, no, I likethat.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
I like it too.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
All right, good.
So I did mention that family isa problem in some marriages,
even starting before themarriage.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
There always seems to be family drama around weddings
right.
There's gotta be a way knowingthat this is so that we can
mitigate.
One of the problems seems toalways be that there are certain
members of the family who thinkthat they're more important
than other members of the familyor that they should get more
consideration, and oftentimesthe last people who are deciding
(35:33):
that that's so is the couple.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
That's correct.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
I say that you have family draft picks.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
All right, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Each partner gets a certain number of picks, right?
And then you're trying to fillcertain spots, and these spots
are determined by the couple oflevels of influence, right?
And so we're going to listen tothese two people the most.
They're going to kind of be themost important people in our
family, to us.
You have your draft, and thedifference here is that you're
(36:02):
picking for the same team.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Right, right right.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
But what you're doing is you are setting the levels
of expectation.
Now this is going to besomething that's going to be
built in, so families know that.
Oh, this is part of the deal.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
Right, they can't get mad about it.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Right, they can't get mad about it.
Okay, so you're the one thatwe're always going to call when
we need help with this or that,or you're always going to get
the first call to be invited tothis thing, or that thing or
whenever there's something to betold to everyone else, we're
(36:34):
going to tell this person that'stheir job to go.
Do that, set levels ofexpectation and do it with a
draft pick.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
I like it.
Now, you and I have not reallyhad this issue because in our
house the children run the draft, they run the teams, they run
all of the organizations.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
So I don't know that they would be here for the draft
.
No, but see, here's a differentwrinkle then was what I didn't
mention trades.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
Because I'm telling you right now, the six-year-old
thinks he's the GM and he runseverything.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Right, but what if we could trade him for like two
older, more responsible childrenand some cash considerations?
There you go.
Speaker 4 (37:11):
All right, no, good luck, good luck.
Six-year-old, you're a freeagent, all right?
Well, here's my last one andwe've touched on it the things
that we argue about that.
If we don't argue about money,but people argue about money we
do argue about the house right,mainly me getting stressed about
stuff and people argue about,you know, like, cleaning things
and cooking things, and theseare the things that are
(37:33):
stressful, and I am willing towager that there is a societal
investment in marriagessucceeding, whatever structure
your marriage is, I mean, itdoesn't have to be traditional
marriage.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
whatever structure your marriage is, I mean it
doesn't have to be traditionalmarriage, whatever your marriage
is.
I hope you're going thedirection.
I think that you're going,because I'm here for it.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
So there is a societal investment into
marriages succeeding.
So therefore, I feel like thesethings that could cause a
marriage to fold, society has anobligation to support the
health of that marriage byproviding housekeeping services,
personal chef services,babysitting services, financial
(38:15):
services.
Do my taxes and my budgeting sothat we don't have anything to
argue about.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
That's not where you wanted me to go.
Where did you want me to go?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Let me get this straight.
So society would pay forhousekeeping tax preparing.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
Financial advisement, child care, housekeeping and
meal prep and, oh oh, homeworkthat causes stress too.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
So basically you're saying that anything that causes
stress within a marriage,someone else should take care of
it?
And society should pay for it.
Yeah, Okay, I think there's acertain segment of our audience
that we may have just turned off.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
Who.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Because they don't believe in that form of sharing.
Listen, I'm there for it.
I was going to say that societyshould be invested in strong,
healthy marriages.
When marriages aren't healthy,it affects the children.
So what I was thinking is that,since society should be so
invested in successful marriagesthat well, what if?
(39:16):
Let's meld some ideas here,what if we turn in our
performance reviews to anorganization that takes care of
this and then we get cashrewards?
We get bonuses, yearly bonuses,based on our performance
reviews.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Okay, all right, I just want somebody to come clean
my house.
I just that's all I want.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Yes, but that all ties together.
Now you're talking about yourmandatory time off um pto.
That would be our pto there yougo, so we parents should have
pto and sick leave.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
No, you're saying parents, but married people.
You don't have to have children.
I'm married.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
listen, I'm just thinking about myself, and so we
have a lot of things here, allright, and we got to try to
narrow it down to five and maybecombine some of these things.
We have separate bathrooms,okay.
We have choosing a new nameusing Boggle.
We have marriage license, morelike driver's license.
We have some sort of weird appthat you airplay your identity
(40:18):
onto the other person.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
No, out to the world.
It changes my name with thecredit cards and all the things
we have yearly performancereviews.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Mandatory pto and sick leave for married people
from life is what you're sayingjust from life?
Speaker 4 (40:36):
yes, you get to.
Just because, even when, whenall of us were sick and we had
covid, we still had to take careof the six-year-old, who didn't
get sick yeah, but see, that'sfor parents.
Now we're just, we're kind ofmixing these but that's fine,
that's fine, we can do that.
We're speaking to our livedexperience family draft picks
right.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Family draft uh society providing housekeepers,
tax prep, personal coach, childcare and tutoring.
Speaker 4 (41:00):
I can't even these are all of my needs, all that's
right, all of my needs right nowthis podcast has turned into a
very Amanda-centric thing.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
That's right.
And then cash rewards forsuccessful marriages, yearly
bonuses based on our performancereviews what are we getting rid
of, can we you?
Speaker 4 (41:17):
can get rid of my weird app.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
I just don't understand it.
Speaker 4 (41:21):
That's fine.
I wasn't fully thought out.
I just knew that my problem was.
It's really hard to change yourname we still have like eight
left okay, I'm, I want myvacations and I want people to
take the children okay, so we'rethe uh, the pto and sick leave
for so that's one we're keeping,that we are keeping the I'm
(41:41):
really here for the boggle names, just because it entertains me.
And imagine it wouldn't be likethere would not be like, oh
you're, you know your kid's in aclass with Forrest Smith.
I mean, very few people wouldhave the same last name.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
That's true.
I mean, there's gonna be nomore Milla Willigansons.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
Willie Milliganson.
Willie Milliganson.
No one else is going to findthis funny.
It's a joke, just for us.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Can we please keep the family draft picks.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
All right, so we have two more.
I think it's very important tohave the marriage license be a
little bit more exhaustive.
Speaker 4 (42:18):
Okay.
Do you want to tie theperformance reviews up in that
for your renewal of yourmarriage license?
Sure, okay, and then which oneof these is going to get me
somebody to come clean thishouse?
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Either a yearly bonus or society pays for all these
people to attend to us.
You're going to want to keepthat, so we're going to do that,
all right, so this is whatmarriage will look like from now
on.
First of all, we're going to gothrough an exhaustive marriage
license process.
This is probably a class thatwe have to take over several
(42:51):
weeks and a course that we needto navigate as we role play
different marriage things, tolearn how to handle them.
And then we take a written testand a practical test.
Speaker 4 (43:02):
Doesn't the state of Florida require counseling?
Why are you making this face atme?
Speaker 1 (43:08):
because I did, because I didn't do that clearly
you missed the towel lecturebefore you get married you do
the family draft picks and thenyou get married and you choose
your new name that's rightwillie, milligan son.
And then you get your yourmandatory married slash, parent
pto and sick leave time whereyou just get to go be by
(43:30):
yourself with your spouse.
Maybe your solution is travelingalone, separate vacations and
then society will provide youwith a housekeeper, someone to
do tax preparation, a andsomeone to offer child care and
your personal.
In other words, society isgoing to provide everyone with
Jeffrey from the Fresh Prince.
Speaker 4 (43:51):
I want Jeffrey from the Fresh Prince.
Will he drive the childrenaround too?
I need a chauffeur.
Is that in there?
Okay, thanks.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
All right, Amanda, that's all there is.
There is no more Happy birthdayThank you, there is no more
Happy birthday.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
Thank you, it is my birthday week.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
And if anyone wants to send Amanda some birthday
wishes, some wise or not so wiseadvice, because, as you can
tell the pool that we have tochoose from, then send it to
familiarwilsons at gmailcomBefore we go.
There's a whole list of peoplewho make this podcast go.
(44:28):
It's not just us.
It's those little people behindthe scenes that are cranking
the gears and pushing thebuttons, and so thank you to
Matt, our lead conveyor beltstrategist, to Antonio, our
quality control whisperer, joshScar, the sock historian, danny
Buckets, the moisturecalibration technician, chicken
Tom, the egg guy, leo, nightshift floor person.
(44:51):
Monique from Germany.
Director of the loom symphonycoordination.
Joey refined gay, Jeff, thecolor palette designer, seasonal
division, Mark and Rachel theirHR and Dan and Gavin, they make
our shipping labels.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
Oh, that's an appropriate task.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
So until next week, you all take care of each other.
Send Amanda some wisdom and goout there and make a better
tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (45:21):
There's a great, big, beautiful tomorrow.
Do you know this?
It's the new song in theCarousel of Progress.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
Are you kidding?
That's a Disney property.
That's a Disney property.
What are you?
Speaker 4 (45:31):
doing right now.
Does anybody listening rememberwhen it used to be?
Now is the time.
Now is the time.
Now is the best time of yourlife, and it was like that
because it was like that radio,like shaking thing from the 20s.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
There's not enough money in this town to pay off
Disney for what you've just done.
Speaker 4 (45:45):
All right, well, anyway, have a great week, go be
kind, bye, bye.
Thank you.
(46:26):
Outro Music
Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the
story.
You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.
The following podcast useswords like and and also.
If you're not into any of thatshit, then now's your chance.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Three, two, one run.
I'm Super Fam with the WilsonsGet it.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.
I'm Amanda.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
And I'm Josh and we're the podcast that's about
marriage 2.0 with kids and allthe side quests, and one side
quest that we had this week wasyour birthday party.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Yeah, not technically my birthday yet.
Don't make me 50 yet, but wecelebrated my 50th birthday.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Did that bother you, that we celebrated it on
Saturday and you're not 50 tillWednesday and we kept saying
you're 50?
Did that pull on you a littlebit?
Speaker 4 (00:56):
No, because it felt like I was like bet, I'm not, ha
ha.
Well, next weekend is Muffy'shigh school graduation, so we
weren't able to do it after mybirthday.
So, no, it's fine, it's good.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
For this birthday.
I wanted to make sure thatpeople told you what they
thought of you.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Yeah, it was really lovely.
It was almost like having amemorial service, but while
you're still alive, likeeverybody was saying what they
appreciated about me, but alsogiving me advice for being 50.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Right.
So here's some of the thingsthat they told you.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
This is john watson from 100 things we learned from
film podcast and all the yearson this planet, I've realized
one thing right, and this is afact do not eat a, pull them in
and then drink fresh orangesmark from 100 things said this
um, my bit of advice is not abit of advice I think you'll
(01:43):
ever need.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
It's something that you probably have always adhered
to and it's never turned down afree gin.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Of course Dan and Gavin Belson had to chime in.
Here's Gavin.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
Wow, 21.
So make sure you enjoy yourfirst drink, but do it
responsibly.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Have a great day and Dan said this Now a little
birdie that I threw into a wallhas told me it's your 50th
birthday.
I thought to myself who elsehas turned 50 this year?
Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, in her words, first class up
in the sky popping champagne,living my life in the fast lane.
Wise words indeed.
Speaker 5 (02:23):
And Daniel J Buckets from buckets, from casting views
, said this I'm definitely notone for wise advice, but I
thought about it and there's twothings I think I can say.
One is eat birthday cake likeno one's watching definitely
something I would do, probablydo on days.
It's not my birthday, to befair, um, but yet that's number.
And number two is don't wastetime making a birthday wish.
(02:46):
Just tell Josh everything youwant and get him to do it for
you.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Friend of the program .
Chris Barron of the Spin Doctorsaid this Dude life is just
beginning.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I don't think I really knew what the hell I was
doing before I turned 50.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
It's so good.
It was so good and it'stypically I feel awkward when
people are like saying nicethings to me and everybody's
looking at me, but I I maybe itwas the sangria or the whiskey
sour you made was very into this.
So you had a video of all ofour friends who couldn't be here
and we were all watching it inthe living room and all of our
friends were watching me watchit and it was.
It was really nice.
(03:22):
And then you got other peoplewho weren't able to come also to
text in advice as well.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, it's pretty important that we tell you what
we think of you so that you hearit.
You know you said that itsounds, it felt like a, or it
sounded like a memorial service.
Right, I think I've said thisbefore on the podcast Don't wait
till the memorial service tosay all the great things about
the people that you enjoy andthat you love, because that's
(03:48):
I've been to so many memorialservices and every time I hear
these stories I think did theytell that person?
Does that person know?
So it's critically importantfor me to make sure that you
know what you mean to everyone.
So if you all have somesomething to say great about
Amanda, please get in touch withus familiarwilsonsgmailcom and
(04:11):
let her know.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
But only if it's nice .
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
A lot of things went right.
I made two cocktails.
I made a whiskey sour mix and asangria mix.
We ordered catered food, whichwas perfect.
We didn't have to fix anything.
A lot of things went right.
But we still got to figure outthis thing of there's always
going to be a first person toshow up or a first couple to
show up and there's always goingto be people who stay late you
(04:35):
see what I'm saying, yeah weneed to organize this better so
everyone shows up at the sametime and so that everyone leaves
at the same time, because thenthere's no like awkwardness for
the people who show up bythemselves because no one wants
to be the first people there.
No one showed up at seven, bythe way.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Yeah, but they were there like 7.05 or 7.10.
Right, right, right.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
But I'm sure that they showed up that late because
they're like we don't want tobe the first ones.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
But they still were.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
But they still were, and that can be awkward.
And then, of course, being thelast one to leave, that's also
like a bit of awkwardness aswell.
So I have some suggestions here.
Right, we don't open the doorsuntil everyone's outside waiting
to come in, like they do at aconcert.
You know, Sure, the banddoesn't start playing until,
like, everyone's set there.
Right, we just have people atthe door and when there's a good
(05:26):
enough crowd, then we open thedoors and everyone comes on in,
right?
Or we have them gather inanother place, like a, an
off-site place, and then we havea bus bring them transport yeah
, yeah, yeah.
Or maybe we just send a bus topick everyone up at their places
and then come and that willsolve the everyone leaving thing
.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
It's like, okay, bus is leaving, that's right if you
get on the bus now or you'restaying here, well, no, that's
not an option, or you're?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
staying on the porch, all right.
What is your solution?
Speaker 4 (05:51):
No, it's like a Zoom meeting.
So if you have enough Zoommeetings, you eventually will
run into one where it saysyou're in the host's waiting
room.
You're waiting on them to letyou in.
So that's basically what you'vesaid, right, it's waiting on
the people, so we have a waitingroom yes and then we let them
in, right, and then we just endthe meeting like in the call.
If the host ends the call,everybody's gone.
(06:13):
So then we just say, okay, alldone, and and then then they
have to leave, they don't haveto go home, but they can't stay
here, kind of thing like a bell,like last call that.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Yeah, that's awkward, though I think what you should
do at the onset of the party istell everyone the ending time of
the party.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Well, I think if you send out invites, you're, you
know, say like seven to 10 orwhatever.
You just said, seven.
You didn't set an end time,although what you did was just
while I was talking to somebodywho was still here, so that was
your way of being like I'm alldone, I'm asleep.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Can I tell you that I was playing possum there.
Friend, I was awake.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
But you figured, if you looked asleep, somebody
might.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Didn't work.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
But we got to figure out a way to fix this for our
next party.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
And I do want to have lots more parties in the house.
I really, really enjoyed thator a themed party.
You know I love a themed party.
So we had a small 80s gathering, which was lovely, but people
just aren't.
I mean, it's five, four years,I guess, past when we finally
started socializing again duringthe pandemic and people just
haven't quite recovered from theisolation.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
I think, though, too, that the pandemic really
cranked up the stress level inthis world, and it's never gone
down.
Yeah, it's just differentstress now, but it's never, ever
gone down.
Oftentimes, I just want to comehome and curl up with you all.
But I recognize that that'sboring and I don't want to wake
up 10 years from now and be likewell, where did all that time?
(08:01):
Go.
So that's why I want to have allthese parties.
So, folks listening, what doyou think?
Do you still party?
Do you party as much as youused to party?
Do you party hardy?
Do you party more than you usedto party?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Let us know.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
FamiliarWilsons at gmailcom.
What.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
No, I'm also interested in our international
friends, like Monique.
What's the deal with peoplegathering in germany is it?
Is it being done atpre-pandemic levels also?
I feel like the belsons arefairly active, but I don't know
if it's parties.
They go to concerts andwrestling and stuff but weddings
, gavin.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Gavin goes to weddings by himself.
Does that count as socializing?
Speaker 4 (08:36):
yes, yeah, that's what it.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
That's a party, and then in scotland, john and
kirsty, I wonder, do you all uhparty like it's 1899?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
I mean, they eat out a lot Like I see some really
lovely restaurant pics on theirInstagram.
But, yes, are you gatheringwith people and we don't mean
meeting with people Are?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
you gathering people, you know all wearing kilts and
no underwear.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I feel like not wearing underwear.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
It makes for a freer society.
I bet they party all the time.
Are you kidding?
If I never had to wearunderwear again, man, I'd just
be partying.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
I mean, that sounds like a different kind of party.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
No, not necessarily, Not necessarily.
But I'd be there, I'd have mykilts on, I'd be dancing and
swaying and ringing like a bell,ding ding ding.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Don't you think it would have some chafing?
There's cream for that Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Also on Saturday we had Winthrop's last soccer game
of the season and perhaps hislast soccer game ever.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Well, it was supposed to be last week but it got
rained out, so there was a oneweek rain delay.
So he had a week off and it was.
He started on Friday.
I don't want to go.
I don't want to do it and Iconveniently left the house to
go buy things for the party,while you got him ready and went
to soccer and I met you guysthere.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
He was fine.
No, he was fine.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
It wound up being a good day.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
We got there and because I feel like people
weren't planning on playing thisweek because they thought last
week was the last game a lotless children showed up and I
think a lot less coaches showedup as well.
So the opposing team, which wasGunter's team, which they've
been spanked roundly by Gunter'steam all three times, they
played them this season.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
And if you remember from last season, Gunter and
Winthrop were on the same teamand then this season they played
against one another.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
But only four people showed up on Gunter's team this
week and their coach wasn't.
There was a new coach, so theyhad to figure out what to do.
What they ended up doing wasjust taking kids from both teams
and picking two captains andhaving them re-pick the teams.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
The kids pick the teams.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, Winthrop ended up
being on Gunter's team andWinthrop scored two goals pretty
immediately.
The only two goals he scoredthis season, and so I feel like
that turned the season aroundand maybe, maybe, maybe he'll
come back.
I asked him and they were goodgoals too, by the way.
They were solid kicks, boy.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Yeah, and so whatever team he wound up being on, it
was like a mix right, just grayjerseys, that's all we know.
They won.
It's the first the win of theseason.
I think up until now they onlyhad maybe two goals the whole
season I don't even think thatso he scored two goals.
They won three to two and wewere like that's good, we're
ending on at least a feeling ofaccomplishment for him.
(11:22):
I asked him today I was you andMuffy went to see a movie and
so I was taking him to go runsome errands and I said so how
was soccer for you yesterday Bad?
I was like, really why?
Because I wanted to be onGunter's team and then he got
switched.
So I guess pretty immediatelyafter he and Gunter were on the
(11:42):
same team, Gunter had to go tothe other team.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yeah, it wasn't fair.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
He was very unhappy about that, that's what he was
unhappy about.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
One thing I noticed, though, that I wanted to talk to
you about is, before theydecided to repick the teams,
they were trying to get some ofthe kids to just switch over to
the other team, to even theteams out, and the coach kept
asking the kids well, do youwant to do it?
Well, do you want to do it?
And trying to convince them.
I don't know.
That kind of left a weird tastein my mouth.
At some point you just say tothe kids look, this is what
we're going to do, go do it.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Well, you're leaning on like barely seven-year-olds
because Winthrop is on the olderend of most of these kids.
You're leaning on barelyseven-year-olds to make these
decisions and it they just needyou to tell them you're going.
You're going, you're going likenumber off.
Whatever I asked, you said thatwinthrop did not volunteer to
go over.
But I asked him in the cartoday if he was upset about
(12:38):
being switched and he said no, Iwanted to go, I asked to go no,
that's not really how thathappened.
Okay, well, that's how heremembered I kept trying to
convince him to go.
No, that's not really how thathappened.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Okay, well, that's how he remembered.
I kept trying to convince himto go.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Because you wanted him to play with Gunter.
I did yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
But I think that he didn't want to disappoint or
hurt the feelings of the kids onhis team.
Yeah, sweet boy, and so whatthey ended up doing was receding
the whole thing.
But I just think in generalsometimes we give kids too much
say Like I understand this thing, like we want them to be
individuals and develop apersonality.
No, don't say it like that, butlike just tell them this is what
(13:12):
we're gonna do, and then we'regonna do it and let them develop
their individuality later.
Sometimes it's okay just totell them this is what's up.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
I don't think you're asking them to not develop their
individuality.
Now what I hear you saying, andfrom a developmental standpoint
it is no, it's appropriate whatI'm telling you.
It's appropriate because we cangive them way too much choice
and then they have decisionfatigue, right, they don't know,
it's paralyzing.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Yes, let's wait until they're my age to let the
decision fatigue set in as ithas.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Or they just then become very entitled and I get
to pick everything right.
Then you have kids who neverhave any say, never have any
agency, and they will start tofight back against that.
Why are you sniffing my nailpolish while we're recording?
Quiet, keep going, I'm justsitting here, josh has picked up
the nail polish off the bedsidetable, open it and started
sniffing it.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Well, I didn't know what it was until I opened it.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
But I mean, clearly it looks like a nail, anyway.
All right, how did it smell?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
It was very strong.
Okay, I feel like I justinhaled some wasabi.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Yeah, if Josh starts talking a little loopy, we all
know why he's been Sniffing thenail polish.
Anyway, you can have kids whodon't get any agency and then
they start fighting againsteverything, and so it is a
balance, right.
And also it's okay to say thereare things you get to choose
and there are things you do notget to choose Because you know
what as adults, that is alsostill the case for us.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Well right, like chores, for example, like we
could have Winthrop do chores,yeah, and we don't.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I want him to start helping the dishes.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
All right, take that over.
We did have him feeding the dog, yes, but he pitches the
biggest fit about how badbecause we feed the dog like
refrigerated dog food, like fromWhole Foods, like bougie dog
food, and he had a fit about howit smells.
And then he would pour half thebag in at one time and that
(15:05):
stresses me out because the dogfood is not cheap.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Listen, I'm here to tell you.
I taught myself how to likebeet juice.
He can get used to feeding thedog like once a day.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Okay, how old were you when you taught yourself how
to like beet juice?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Like 10 years ago.
What's the point of that?
Speaker 4 (15:20):
I don't understand.
And how old is he?
He?
What's the point of that?
I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
And how old is he?
He's younger and more flexiblethan I am.
All right.
Are kids too entitled?
Get in touch, let us know.
Familiarwilson's at gmailcom.
We did go see a movie.
We went to go see Thunderboltsin the theater.
Muffy and I did, and I liked itvery much.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Now I've been hearing that it's a good movie and the
two older boys, daniel andAndrew, said that they liked it.
So I went into it thinking okay, well, this won't be bad.
But it was surprisingly deep.
It touched on issues ofloneliness and depression and
feeling emptiness and all ofthese things, and it actually
(16:02):
took time to develop a couple ofcharacters in her stories which
often these type of moviesdon't do.
I thought Florence Pugh did anexceptional job.
I like her a lot.
I understand she's been in alot of shit.
I haven't seen most of thosemovies, so this is the first
time I'm really seeing her andshe's great.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Muffy's a big fan.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
No, no, I liked her a lot.
One thing bothered me, though.
This music is doing my head in.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
What music?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Movie music is doing my head in Okay it is so nakedly
cues to tell me how to feelabout a certain scene oh, right,
okay.
Oh, this is a triumphant scene,because the hero's showing up
on the motorcycle and you shouldfeel this way about it because
of these trumpets that areplaying.
Or, oh, this is a sad scene nowyou know why?
(16:50):
Because these violins areplaying in a minor key.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
But movie soundtracks have done that since the
beginning of the golden pictureage or golden age of pictures,
or whatever it's called.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
It's too much.
Listen, I am part of thegeneration that has really
rebelled against being marketedto right Gen X, just hates being
marketed to, hates beingmanipulated, hates being told
what to do.
And I cannot, cannot deal withtrying to pay attention to
what's happening in this movieand then also now hearing this.
(17:23):
You know the tinkle of thisbell, meaning that I need to be
excited or whatever.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
I'm more intelligent than that.
I can just follow along what'shappening with the moving
pictures and the dialogue.
I don't need to be baby fed myemotions with this music as well
, and I will tell you, musicabsolutely is an emotional
trigger for me it is.
There are some songs that Istill cannot listen to, like the
(17:48):
Queen song.
I don't know if you've heard ofit.
Who Wants to Live Forever, doyou?
Speaker 4 (17:51):
know this song.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
It was in the Highlander soundtrack.
Okay, exceptional music.
I'll play it for you um.
You know this song cats in thefucking cradle.
Yes, I cannot listen to thatsong.
I still can't listen to thatsong?
Yeah, that's music does affectme emotionally, so therefore
don't try to manipulate me withit.
Don't do it.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
Don't do it so do you just want silent silence,
sometimes talking, talking,talking yes, because you know
what.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
That's what happens in real life can you imagine can
you imagine people carryingaround their phones, right, and
you know they want to make aparticularly stirring uh speech,
like in front of a boardroom,and they start to play like the
indiana jones?
Speaker 4 (18:28):
theme music.
My high school football teamused to walk out onto the field
to the imperial march well, sure, I mean, then I mean, but they,
never won, so it was a littlebit Well, yeah, but at the end
of the day neither did theEmpire and another thing.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
I get it.
You want to inject humor.
But I am so very much over theSeinfeldization of the MCU and
all these other franchises whereeverything is a quip,
everything is a clever banterand oh, isn't that fun.
They're fighting for theirlives.
But you know I'm going to sithere and say something cute and
funny.
Don't like that, not necessary,don't do that.
(19:04):
Like I can watch the superheromovies, you know I like them.
Show me one that's like withrealistic dialogue, right,
things happen that are kind ofnaturalistic, like Thor is
fighting the thing and all of asudden he burps.
You never see that that's notright.
Or like stubs his toe orsomething paper cut, it happens.
Or, god forbid.
(19:25):
Like they stumble on theirwords none of these fuckers
stumble on their words.
I'm stumbling.
You're listening to thispodcast right now.
You understand that even me,who's done five years of
podcasting, still my my tonguetrick trips me up.
Right.
See, right, there it happenedagain, like that's just a
natural way of speaking and Iprefer that.
You know who I like.
I like the writing of davidmamet now he turned out not to
(19:48):
be a a great guy, great writer,great naturalistic writer.
You ever watch glenn gary,glenn ross, this movie you
should watch that.
All the different little littlehiccups and all the little
stumbles of that's all written.
You know that.
That's all written in there.
It's like music, it's likenaturalistic music.
It's like the symphony of thegarbage pail.
It's like a New York streetscene.
(20:09):
It's great and I love it.
That's the kind of dialogue Ithink is interesting.
You done Well.
I want to hear what you have tosay about this.
Don't give me.
You done.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
I'm happy with the suspending my disbelief, and
this is a world in which themusic swells and the people
don't paper cut themselves orstub their toes and they don't
trip over their language.
I'm fine with that.
So we're allowed to havedifferent opinions.
I was just wondering how longyou were going to go on that
rant.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I can go further, but the damn dog is making noise.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Well, it's because it's his dinner time and he's on
about.
He knows he's got an internalclock and he knows it's time.
So I'm not going to lookdirectly at him and that might
help.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Did you all see Thunderbolts?
Did you like it?
Write in FamiliarWilson's atgmailcom, Because it was
Amanda's birthday.
We couldn't prepare what areyou laughing at?
I'm laughing at what I'm aboutto say.
We couldn't prepare as much forthe podcast.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
We never prepare for the podcast.
What's wrong with you?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
But I want to play a portion from another podcast
that we have done.
We haven't released an episodein a while, but I think that it
might be one that you'd beinterested in hearing.
So this is a part of ourpodcast Unscrew it Up, where we
talk about unscrewing upmarriage, and it's really just
about that.
In this particular episode, wetalk about how to make marriage
(21:29):
better.
So do enjoy.
Ladies and gentlemen.
The Wilsons will now unscrew itup.
Ladies and gentlemen, theWilsons will now unscrew it up,
and now it's time for theWilsons to unscrew up marriage.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
We have had some practice.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
How long have we been married?
Speaker 4 (21:51):
We have been married for nine years.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
That's right Together for 10.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
But we also I mean previously have been married
before in our lifetimes, sowe've done it not well once, and
I mean almost a decade intodoing it well at least I think,
unless this is the episode inwhich you tell me you're not
happy.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Well, no, we just started a new podcast, so
clearly we're staying togetherfor longer.
I mean that's, this is a lot ofwork.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
I mean, if you give the dog a selfie stick, he might
be able to co-host.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
If you give a dog a selfie stick, isn't?
Speaker 4 (22:21):
that like, that's like a mouse and muffin, so
three common problems inmarriage, communication, family
and money Yep.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So you kind of are on the same wavelength I think we
do pretty good with most ofthose.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
I think we do well with money because we have our
own bank accounts.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
This is something that I highly recommend.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Same.
This is not something I didbefore and it is something that
you and I went into this sayingwe'll split everything, but
we're going to keep our ownaccounts, and let me tell you, I
think that that's been a gooddecision.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Well, that was a little bit of serious advice
there.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Let's get back to the wackiness.
So we are coming up withsolutions to some common
problems in marriage.
As we do every week, we eachcome up with a certain number of
problems.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
I think last week I had seven or something
ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
We narrow those down to five and then we forward them
on to a council or a personsometimes, or an organization,
so that that organization orperson can take our solutions
and make them real.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
So who's unscrewing up marriage for us?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
We're going to send this to the milk board, the
national milk board.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
They're okay.
Do they not have anything elsegoing on right now?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Milk is kind of what it is.
There's nothing that you'regoing to innovate about milk.
Milk is done Right now.
They're just caretakers.
They're just sitting aroundlike the Maytag repairman.
Wow, Wow.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
You made fun of my Laverne and Shirley Laverne and
Shirley Jeez.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
So how many do you have?
I have four.
Okay, I have four as well, sowhy don't you go first?
Speaker 4 (23:56):
What are the main problems in a marriage?
It would be communication,dealing with kids and or family
dealing with household things,right, and then money.
So I'm here for the householdthings.
First, separate bathrooms.
Now we already have theseparate closets down.
At our last house we shared acloset, but you were toward the
back of the closet so I didn'thave to move towards your things
(24:17):
.
A closet, but you were towardthe back of the closet so I
didn't have to move towards yourthings.
We have separate closets nowand that's lovely.
And I'm not saying that I wantto not be in the same room with
you at nighttime, but you knowhow they have the Jack and Jill
bedrooms with the bathroom inthe middle.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
No, I've never heard of that.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
I think it's meant for kids, but it's a bedroom
with a shared bathroom in themiddle and then another bedroom.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Oh, this isn't meant for married couples.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
No, no, no, no this is a thing in house design
called a Jack and Jill bedroom.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
Okay, I am proposing the married version of that,
which is, the bathrooms oneither side and then a shared
bedroom.
Why are you rubbing your head?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I don't think Is there a problem.
Okay, so.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
Yes, there is a problem with sharing a bathroom.
Let's talk about it.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I think that what we need to do now just for our own
sanity this is not a therapypodcast.
We are not trying to solve ourown marriage Because I happen to
think that I'm a delightfulbathroom mate.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Except that you take my towels off of my rack, where
I keep them nicely, and youthrow them over the shower and
you throw them on the ground.
Sometimes you steal mytoothbrush and I have to go
looking for my toothbrush andthe clothes don't make it into
the hamper.
We talked about this last week.
So I'm saying for my own sanity, and probably our friend Kay
should look into this as well.
Separate bathrooms.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
This episode is such a bad idea.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
This was your idea, friend.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
It was All right, so separate bathrooms.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
All right, immediately.
You don't think this isnecessary.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
I don't, but clearly that's the problem, because I'm
a lovely bathroom dweller.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
The only thing we've established is that I have too
many products.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yes, Okay, separate bathrooms.
I've gone in a differentdirection.
You know how there are marriagelicenses.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Yes, we have one.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yes, anyone can get a marriage license, easiest thing
to get.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Can you now?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
There's not much to it, right?
You have to pay money and sendit away and have somebody sign
it Useless, don't know what it'sfor.
I think it's just so that thegovernment can take money from
you, right?
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Here's another thing we need to fix sidebar.
It's not a thing for youbecause you don't have to change
your name.
If you choose to change yourname, then you have to have the
marriage license or marriagecertificate or whatever.
I have had to have it to sendto credit card companies and
things like that to prove my newlast name.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
You didn't have to change your name.
I don't demand that of anyone.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
Said the man who said I would really love to share a
last name with you.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
I know, but it could have been like Smith or Then we
would both share a last namewith you.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
I know, but it could have been like Smith or you know
, that doesn't matter to me.
Okay, and screw it up with theSmiths.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Go ahead.
I think that that should be,then, a new solution.
I didn't even think of that,but we're going to put that down
.
Like you have to pick a newname, right, you're both kind of
leaving your families andmaking a new family, yeah, and
so you have to then pick, like anew name for your family.
It's like founding a newcountry, right, okay.
(27:02):
Or like naming a baby even ifyou name it your name, you're
going to call it junior orwhatever.
So you have to.
This is a new thing.
I'm putting this in here as athing is like you have to choose
, because I do know thatsometimes that is an issue where
, like, someone doesn't want togive up their name, and usually
it is.
If you're going withtraditional roles, the man kind
(27:23):
of expects that, which I don'tthink that you should have to do
.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
So you have to pick a new name, so that but I have a
question though Is it like thegame of Boggle, where it's like
you have to take the lettersfrom your names?
That is freaking brilliant.
Yes, no, absolutely.
And then you have to create.
It's like Scrabble, yes, orBoggle, yes.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
So married name Boggle.
Yes, I love that solution.
We just came up with that, bothof us together, that's because
we're married.
Married name Boggle, and sowhat would ours have been it?
Speaker 4 (27:51):
would have been Wilson, and because that's my
Willie Milligan no we're justsaying Willie Milligan is not
our last name.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Willie Milliganson Willie.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Milliganson, I'm not saying you have to use all of
the letters.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Willie Milliganson is like.
I'll bet you that we would bethe only.
Willie Milligansons in theworld.
No dude, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
No, can you imagine in a waiting room they come out,
mrs?
No, can you imagine in awaiting room they come out, mrs
Willie Milligan?
I can't even say it.
I can't even say it.
Willie Milliganson, no, oh.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
God, okay, our son would have to be called Sven.
Whose turn is it?
Okay, so marriage licenseanyway.
So I think that the marriagelicense should be more like a
driver's license.
You have a test, you have torenew it, you've got a written
test and you've got like thepractical, and then when you
pass all those, then you'reallowed to get married.
(28:43):
So many problems would besolved, so many issues would be
avoided, if you know like youtake the test and they come back
and say sir, you did a greatjob, except for you failed the
section on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Go back study and then you can take the test again
.
But I also think then you nowhave to renew it, like every
five years or 10 years orwhatever.
Like the driver's license, youhave to get it renewed.
So it's the same thing yougotta get your license renewed.
This is a good idea.
What you've had.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yes, so marriage license like driver's license.
All right, what's yours?
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Well, so mine was along that lines of how
difficult it is as a femaletraditionally from this role
getting married and all thethings you have to change and
you have to update because youhave to go to the social
security office and you have todo all these things.
You know how, when you buy anew phone and they say, here,
give us your old phone and we'regoing to put it next to the new
phone, and then it justdownloads all of your contacts
(29:33):
and has all your apps andeverything we need whatever
version of that is for gettingmarried you just stand next to
the other person and then allthe things are done.
Your name's changed everywhere.
You're making a face at me.
This is not my problem.
This is the milkboard's problem.
They have to figure out how todo it.
Whatever voodoo they do toswitch me from one phone to the
other is what needs to happenwhen you get married and you
(29:55):
have to merge all of your things.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
So you stand next to me and then what's being
uploaded into what no?
Speaker 4 (30:01):
it's not you and I need to stand next to, like the.
I don't know what I need tostand next to.
Maybe my phone needs to go benext to something, I don't know,
but I need an easier way ofassuming a new identity.
I just mean to sound likewitness protection.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
I know, I'm not even sure how to write this down.
I don't know what it is we justproposed.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
All right, fine, this could be the one you kick off.
Go ahead, what's your next one?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
But I get it.
It's like just to make theprocess easier by you standing
next to me and then I'muploading all my information and
I'm overriding your personalityand your identity.
Yes, that's not Stepford at all.
Go ahead, all right.
Next one You've already kind ofsaid this, but I'm just putting
it in a different way Yearlyperformance reviews.
(30:43):
So how we kind of do it where Iwork is that every year you go
in and you're rated on a one tofive scale right yeah, nope.
No.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Not doing numbers?
Go ahead Not doing numbers,well.
Doing numbers well, whatever.
No, just do your thing meetsexpectations exceeds
expectations, you know whateverright not meeting, not meeting
approaching approach.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
That's right.
You go in and and we getperformance evaluations right,
and then every year also, we setour, our annual goals for the
next year.
And then expectations are clear.
We have to.
You know you measure them bymetrics.
Oh, you didn't put your clothesin the hamper.
56% of the time You're notapproaching expectations.
(31:27):
Performance reviews.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
Okay, I'm here for this, but as long as you're
getting them and I'm not, no.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Oh see, that's where this falls down.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
See, I like it better .
The way we do it at my work iswe don't do annual, we do
quarterly.
So I feel like that's more of acheck-in right.
It's not like your whole yearis going by and then you're
hearing about the 56% orwhatever.
And we also don't do a rate ona scale of one to five.
It's not a Likert scale, itwhere good performance can be
elevated, and then goals for thenext quarter.
(31:57):
So we're coming from astrength-based approach, not
coming from a deficit approach.
So, instead of 56% of the timeyou did not get your clothes in
the hamper, it's, hey, 44% ofthe time.
That's the right math.
Right, 44% of the time you gotyour clothes in their hamper.
So let's set a goal for thisnext quarter.
What could that be?
See, I try to do this with you,where I do the positive
(32:20):
reinforcement and I say thingslike thank you for taking the
trash out, before you take thetrash out, and it really angers
you.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
I do not like that.
I don't like that.
Don't thank me for somethingbefore I do it, because then it
just feels manipulative a littlebit.
It is Exactly that's the pointof it.
The reason why I like the ideaof the performance review is
that two weeks before the review, then you're like you know, you
have a chance to kind of makeit up.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Oh God, my review is coming.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Yearly performance or quarterly, whatever Performance
reviews Bam.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
So here's the thing we also do at my work, because I
work for a large institution Ifyou're applying for a job
within somewhere else within theinstitution, you can pull
people's so, like if you were ona hiring committee and they
were coming from within theinstitution, you can pull their
employee performance evaluationsand review them as a hiring
(33:11):
committee from the current jobthat they're in.
So we could employ this.
Should you start lookingelsewhere, people could pull
your performance reviewsinterested suitors, whatever.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Well see, that's very interesting.
We're putting this in yourpermanent file, that's right.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Should you decide you don't want to be here anymore,
but other people will know howmany towels you put in the
hamper.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
I feel like that's what social media is for we
already have that, that'stotally true.
All right, whose turn is it?
Speaker 4 (33:38):
Yours.
I think it's my turn, okay, somy next one is mandatory carving
out time to be alone, becausewe all know if you have the
children, they drain you andwait, you mean alone together or
alone by yourself?
no, no alone together.
We had a really lovelyexperience when we first started
dating because we both hadyounger kids.
So a couple nights a week thekids would be at their other
(34:00):
parents house and we would havethese built in date nights.
Then we got married and then wehad this other child and no one
takes him.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
He just lives here all of the time okay, so what
you're, what you're proposing,is mandatory date nights great
no, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
I'm not done no, no.
Mandatory date nights.
We do those, but no, I meanlike actual time where you don't
have to take care of anybodyelse and even if you don't have
kids, there is still like thestress of work or money or dogs
or whatever.
There should be like mandatorylittle getaways.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Okay, so it's like when you take your car in for um
annual maintenance or for, forwhatever you take your car into
the garage, and no one's usingthat car while it's getting
worked on right, so marriagemaintenance there you go
marriage maintenance checklistthere you go up six months been
married six months gotta go for.
Go away for a week up 10 yearsgotta go away for.
(34:57):
For 10 days a month 10 yearsgotta go away for 10 days A
month.
For a month yeah, no, I likethat.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
I like it too.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
All right, good.
So I did mention that family isa problem in some marriages,
even starting before themarriage.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
There always seems to be family drama around weddings
right.
There's gotta be a way knowingthat this is so that we can
mitigate.
One of the problems seems toalways be that there are certain
members of the family who thinkthat they're more important
than other members of the familyor that they should get more
consideration, and oftentimesthe last people who are deciding
(35:33):
that that's so is the couple.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
That's correct.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
I say that you have family draft picks.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
All right, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Each partner gets a certain number of picks, right?
And then you're trying to fillcertain spots, and these spots
are determined by the couple oflevels of influence, right?
And so we're going to listen tothese two people the most.
They're going to kind of be themost important people in our
family, to us.
You have your draft, and thedifference here is that you're
(36:02):
picking for the same team.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Right, right right.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
But what you're doing is you are setting the levels
of expectation.
Now this is going to besomething that's going to be
built in, so families know that.
Oh, this is part of the deal.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
Right, they can't get mad about it.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Right, they can't get mad about it.
Okay, so you're the one thatwe're always going to call when
we need help with this or that,or you're always going to get
the first call to be invited tothis thing, or that thing or
whenever there's something to betold to everyone else, we're
(36:34):
going to tell this person that'stheir job to go.
Do that, set levels ofexpectation and do it with a
draft pick.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
I like it.
Now, you and I have not reallyhad this issue because in our
house the children run the draft, they run the teams, they run
all of the organizations.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
So I don't know that they would be here for the draft
.
No, but see, here's a differentwrinkle then was what I didn't
mention trades.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
Because I'm telling you right now, the six-year-old
thinks he's the GM and he runseverything.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Right, but what if we could trade him for like two
older, more responsible childrenand some cash considerations?
There you go.
Speaker 4 (37:11):
All right, no, good luck, good luck.
Six-year-old, you're a freeagent, all right?
Well, here's my last one andwe've touched on it the things
that we argue about that.
If we don't argue about money,but people argue about money we
do argue about the house right,mainly me getting stressed about
stuff and people argue about,you know, like, cleaning things
and cooking things, and theseare the things that are
(37:33):
stressful, and I am willing towager that there is a societal
investment in marriagessucceeding, whatever structure
your marriage is, I mean, itdoesn't have to be traditional
marriage.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
whatever structure your marriage is, I mean it
doesn't have to be traditionalmarriage, whatever your marriage
is.
I hope you're going thedirection.
I think that you're going,because I'm here for it.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
So there is a societal investment into
marriages succeeding.
So therefore, I feel like thesethings that could cause a
marriage to fold, society has anobligation to support the
health of that marriage byproviding housekeeping services,
personal chef services,babysitting services, financial
(38:15):
services.
Do my taxes and my budgeting sothat we don't have anything to
argue about.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
That's not where you wanted me to go.
Where did you want me to go?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Let me get this straight.
So society would pay forhousekeeping tax preparing.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
Financial advisement, child care, housekeeping and
meal prep and, oh oh, homeworkthat causes stress too.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
So basically you're saying that anything that causes
stress within a marriage,someone else should take care of
it?
And society should pay for it.
Yeah, Okay, I think there's acertain segment of our audience
that we may have just turned off.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
Who.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Because they don't believe in that form of sharing.
Listen, I'm there for it.
I was going to say that societyshould be invested in strong,
healthy marriages.
When marriages aren't healthy,it affects the children.
So what I was thinking is that,since society should be so
invested in successful marriagesthat well, what if?
(39:16):
Let's meld some ideas here,what if we turn in our
performance reviews to anorganization that takes care of
this and then we get cashrewards?
We get bonuses, yearly bonuses,based on our performance
reviews.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Okay, all right, I just want somebody to come clean
my house.
I just that's all I want.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Yes, but that all ties together.
Now you're talking about yourmandatory time off um pto.
That would be our pto there yougo, so we parents should have
pto and sick leave.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
No, you're saying parents, but married people.
You don't have to have children.
I'm married.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
listen, I'm just thinking about myself, and so we
have a lot of things here, allright, and we got to try to
narrow it down to five and maybecombine some of these things.
We have separate bathrooms,okay.
We have choosing a new nameusing Boggle.
We have marriage license, morelike driver's license.
We have some sort of weird appthat you airplay your identity
(40:18):
onto the other person.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
No, out to the world.
It changes my name with thecredit cards and all the things
we have yearly performancereviews.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Mandatory pto and sick leave for married people
from life is what you're sayingjust from life?
Speaker 4 (40:36):
yes, you get to.
Just because, even when, whenall of us were sick and we had
covid, we still had to take careof the six-year-old, who didn't
get sick yeah, but see, that'sfor parents.
Now we're just, we're kind ofmixing these but that's fine,
that's fine, we can do that.
We're speaking to our livedexperience family draft picks
right.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Family draft uh society providing housekeepers,
tax prep, personal coach, childcare and tutoring.
Speaker 4 (41:00):
I can't even these are all of my needs, all that's
right, all of my needs right nowthis podcast has turned into a
very Amanda-centric thing.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
That's right.
And then cash rewards forsuccessful marriages, yearly
bonuses based on our performancereviews what are we getting rid
of, can we you?
Speaker 4 (41:17):
can get rid of my weird app.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
I just don't understand it.
Speaker 4 (41:21):
That's fine.
I wasn't fully thought out.
I just knew that my problem was.
It's really hard to change yourname we still have like eight
left okay, I'm, I want myvacations and I want people to
take the children okay, so we'rethe uh, the pto and sick leave
for so that's one we're keeping,that we are keeping the I'm
(41:41):
really here for the boggle names, just because it entertains me.
And imagine it wouldn't be likethere would not be like, oh
you're, you know your kid's in aclass with Forrest Smith.
I mean, very few people wouldhave the same last name.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
That's true.
I mean, there's gonna be nomore Milla Willigansons.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
Willie Milliganson.
Willie Milliganson.
No one else is going to findthis funny.
It's a joke, just for us.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Can we please keep the family draft picks.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
All right, so we have two more.
I think it's very important tohave the marriage license be a
little bit more exhaustive.
Speaker 4 (42:18):
Okay.
Do you want to tie theperformance reviews up in that
for your renewal of yourmarriage license?
Sure, okay, and then which oneof these is going to get me
somebody to come clean thishouse?
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Either a yearly bonus or society pays for all these
people to attend to us.
You're going to want to keepthat, so we're going to do that,
all right, so this is whatmarriage will look like from now
on.
First of all, we're going to gothrough an exhaustive marriage
license process.
This is probably a class thatwe have to take over several
(42:51):
weeks and a course that we needto navigate as we role play
different marriage things, tolearn how to handle them.
And then we take a written testand a practical test.
Speaker 4 (43:02):
Doesn't the state of Florida require counseling?
Why are you making this face atme?
Speaker 1 (43:08):
because I did, because I didn't do that clearly
you missed the towel lecturebefore you get married you do
the family draft picks and thenyou get married and you choose
your new name that's rightwillie, milligan son.
And then you get your yourmandatory married slash, parent
pto and sick leave time whereyou just get to go be by
(43:30):
yourself with your spouse.
Maybe your solution is travelingalone, separate vacations and
then society will provide youwith a housekeeper, someone to
do tax preparation, a andsomeone to offer child care and
your personal.
In other words, society isgoing to provide everyone with
Jeffrey from the Fresh Prince.
Speaker 4 (43:51):
I want Jeffrey from the Fresh Prince.
Will he drive the childrenaround too?
I need a chauffeur.
Is that in there?
Okay, thanks.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
All right, Amanda, that's all there is.
There is no more Happy birthdayThank you, there is no more
Happy birthday.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
Thank you, it is my birthday week.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
And if anyone wants to send Amanda some birthday
wishes, some wise or not so wiseadvice, because, as you can
tell the pool that we have tochoose from, then send it to
familiarwilsons at gmailcomBefore we go.
There's a whole list of peoplewho make this podcast go.
(44:28):
It's not just us.
It's those little people behindthe scenes that are cranking
the gears and pushing thebuttons, and so thank you to
Matt, our lead conveyor beltstrategist, to Antonio, our
quality control whisperer, joshScar, the sock historian, danny
Buckets, the moisturecalibration technician, chicken
Tom, the egg guy, leo, nightshift floor person.
(44:51):
Monique from Germany.
Director of the loom symphonycoordination.
Joey refined gay, Jeff, thecolor palette designer, seasonal
division, Mark and Rachel theirHR and Dan and Gavin, they make
our shipping labels.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
Oh, that's an appropriate task.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
So until next week, you all take care of each other.
Send Amanda some wisdom and goout there and make a better
tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (45:21):
There's a great, big, beautiful tomorrow.
Do you know this?
It's the new song in theCarousel of Progress.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
Are you kidding?
That's a Disney property.
That's a Disney property.
What are you?
Speaker 4 (45:31):
doing right now.
Does anybody listening rememberwhen it used to be?
Now is the time.
Now is the time.
Now is the best time of yourlife, and it was like that
because it was like that radio,like shaking thing from the 20s.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
There's not enough money in this town to pay off
Disney for what you've just done.
Speaker 4 (45:45):
All right, well, anyway, have a great week, go be
kind, bye, bye.
Thank you.
(46:26):
Outro Music
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