August 24, 2025 • 43 mins
What happens when your kid finally leaves for college…but only moves 15 minutes down the road? Josh is still sick, Amanda is still emotional, and Muffy is using communal bathrooms. From hamster-ball personal protection systems to grandmas with flying sandals, the Wilsons unscrew the chaos of dorm move-in day. Equal parts parenting therapy session and ridiculous invention pitch meeting...Danny DeVito may or may not be involved.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the
story.
You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.
The following podcast useswords like and and also.
If you're not into any of thatshit, then now's your chance.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Three, two, one run.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm super familiar with you, wilson, get it.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.
I'm Amanda.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
And I'm Josh.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
And Josh, are you still sick?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I mean you can kind of hear it in my voice.
I've still got something, alittle bit of something, as I
said in the intro to last week'sthing, like I don't know what I
have or had, and that's alittle unnerving these days.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I'm fairly certain that you had.
I mean because you ran a prettyhigh fever, so I'm certain that
you had something that nobodyreally wants you to have again.
But yeah, your cough issticking around.
So I just wanted to check in.
I missed everybody last weekbecause I was out getting muffie
ready to go to college.
Well, muffie has been incollege for the past two years.
Even while she was in highschool she was dual enrolled.
(01:11):
But this is the first time thatshe is living away from home,
so we moved her to the dorm ontuesday that we did and how are
you feeling about that?
I'm okay.
I mean, I will say I'mincredibly privileged and
incredibly lucky that she gotinto the university that's in
our town, so she's about 15minutes down the road.
(01:33):
I have a colleague whosedaughter is nine hours away.
I mean, a lot of kids whodidn't get into the university
here went two hours away eitherdirection, either up near
Tallahassee or down to orlando.
And we've we are just down thestreet.
So I'm very, very fortunate, umand and thankful that she is
(01:54):
still in town.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
But it's hard, it's still hard, but okay, but let's
talk about that, though, because, like like I told her, she can
come home and spend the nightwhenever she wants to.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And she has.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
And she has.
So what in your mindemotionally?
Because you're like you havebeen like really upset, but
she's just right there.
I know, but it's, it's justlike you know what it is.
It's just like now.
She has two, two rooms.
She has two different locationsto keep her shit.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Right, but otherwise what's?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Because two different locations to keep her shit, yes
, right, but otherwise, what's?
Because I mean, it's the markand you've been through this
with the boys, so like you're alittle bit like, okay, I've done
this, but it's the beginning ofthings are changing, like it's
not going to be that she liveswith us forever.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Now she might yeah, I was going to say we have like
four years to live it up andthen usually they come back like
the passenger pigeon that allof a sudden remembers.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Well, the boys haven't.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Well, that's true.
Well, they moved in together,though.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
See, that's the thing .
Speaker 1 (02:53):
They're two and a half years apart.
They're very close.
They moved in together, so youknow.
And also their situation isdifferent because when I got
divorced from their mother, likethey would go back and forth-
Together.
Together, and so I think thatfor them they formed this little
unit of them.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
And they've told me that they were relieved to not
to have to go back and forth.
Like that's one of those thingswith getting remarried.
And then there's kids that youhave from a previous marriage is
like those kids that are goingfrom parent to parent like it
kind of sucks for them.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, it does.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Because, like, oh, you know where's my Mr Zippy
doll, oh, I left them at dad'shouse or whatever, and that just
becomes just really annoying tothem, and so they were happy to
move out, just so that they canjust have all of their stuff in
one place.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, well, and also when they went back and forth,
they had each other.
When Muffy's dad and I gotdivorced, she didn't have a
sibling to go back and forthwith her.
So there's a little bit ofseparation anxiety and a little
bit of separation anxiety and alittle bit of of emotion around,
uh, being separated, that theboys didn't necessarily have
(04:10):
because they had each other.
We tried, we got her somehamsters that would go back and
forth, because we're like, well,here's what you can have, and
then one hamster ate the otherhamster, and it was really
tragic.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
So like yes, and luckily with us, one of my sons
hasn't eaten didn't eat theother one, right?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
That has not yet happened, right.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
And actually, interestingly enough, the oldest
son, daniel.
He's like moved out now.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
It's like he has a partner and they've moved into
their own place, and so Andrewis in their old place, the place
they own together, yeah, somaybe he'll move back now.
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I mean we've got room and and winthrop would be very
happy.
So this is it's also really hardon winthrop because he went
through it with andrew.
I think daniel moved out whenwinthrop was still maybe like 18
months old, but andrew livedwith us until winthrop was you
know three or four, and so hewas aware when andrew moved out
and missed him a whole bunch.
Not that he didn't miss daniel,but it was the every day of
Andrew being here, and so heknew what that absence felt like
(05:10):
.
And so when Muffy left on herfirst night in the dorm he
started crying, but not likedramatically crying, like
tearing up, which is moregut-wrenching because it's
coming from a place of not drama, but like really feeling it and
saying he didn't want her to bethere.
And so that's also been hard.
And I think it's been hard onher that she's got a little
(05:32):
brother here, because not justus, but it's a little brother
and it's the dog, and so it'sit's been it's I'm gonna break
in right here and say that I'mhappy to ship winthrop to have
overnights at the dorm.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I know, I know which by the way, dorm, college, dorm
living very interesting Tinyrooms so tiny.
Tiny rooms and if you've neverhad a sibling before that you've
had to share a room with, it'slike a really awkward experience
for 17, 18, 19 year olds to goand their first experience
having a roommate is like theybasically cannot be in the room
(06:04):
without breathing on them yeahthat has got to be so awkward
though yeah, and I don't knowlike.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
I think that, yeah, I mean muffie's roommate's super
nice, but they don't have thesame schedule and they're not
really in the room very oftenand so that's probably like
except to sleep, and that's theweird yeah, because you're like
you could reach out and touchthe person right.
You know, and that's the weirdthing.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, because you're like you could reach out and
touch the person, right?
No, okay, that's weird.
No, it's just that like I don'tthink I could get comfortable
in a room with people that Idon't really know in close
quarters and I got to go tosleep.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Okay, whatever friend you were at camp for, like ever
.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Well, yeah, but oh yeah, I guess that's true.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
See, that's what I'm saying.
I also did not have a you and Idid not share rooms when we
were growing up, because wedidn't have siblings close to
our age or siblings, and myfirst experience sharing a room
with somebody in a bed near mewas working at camp.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Well, yeah, but at camp you've got the counselor in
there.
Like to protect you from theother person being a jackass or
whatever.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
No, but see for me, because I worked at a boys camp.
We slept in the women's dormand it was just three of us in a
room okay, but you were anadult, adult, right, you were
like I was 19, oh, were you okay, well fine, whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So, apparently, like you have better insight into
this than I do, because I'veI've never done it in this way
yeah, and I will say she's, Ishe's adjusting really well to
communal showers.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I didn't think she was going to.
I thought when she first I'mnot saying she showers with
people, but I'm saying showeringin like a communal bathroom.
Now in the bathroom there's theshower and the shower curtain
and then like a dressing areaand then a door, so it's like
not just you get out of theshower curtain, then that's
nothing.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
That's just like tiny showers, tiny separate showers.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Right, no, but I was appreciative that.
I was surprised that it waslike that, because the only
communal showers I've beenexposed to that sounds weird
that I've experienced have beenat camp and it's just like
shower curtain and you're outwhere the sink and everything is
.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I went to camp in the 80s.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
And no curtains.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
No curtains, just like here we have a wall of
shower heads, a wall of showerheads and it's like you know,
okay, let the let the pigs inand hose them down.
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
it was so well, but you weren't sharing a shower
head, like you had your ownshower heads, right?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I know, but they were really close yeah, I don't know
.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I've never done that.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I've only ever had like tiny little showers with I
wanted to have, like I wantedeveryone to have, like horse
blinders or at least I did,because I didn't want to, you
know sometimes look over and seethings yeah, no, no, I don't
want to see things.
I already.
You should already see enoughthings, because, just like you
go as an adult, you go to thegym and you know people are
apparently very comfortablewalking around with their junk
(08:41):
hanging out.
It's even more awkward whenyou're a teenager.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
So I had forgotten about this, but now you said
this.
So in my mid-30s I had a gymmembership and I used to go
every day and I would not showerthere because I'd just go home
and I didn't go from there towork or anything.
The people who walked aroundnaked in the women's changing
room were always the old women.
I guess by then they're justlike.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
F?
It changing room were alwaysthe old women.
I guess by then they're justlike oh, they don't, I don't
care, they don't care.
Listen, that is actually alevel of I don't care about the
world that I aspire to yeah I amnot there, right there.
Oh, I'm creeping closer to itevery day, as evidenced by my
wardrobe choices and your achingjoints but I am not yet to the
point where I can just walkaround naked in front of people.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
It's not a thing.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
It's not a thing.
Pay me, pay me lots of money Idon't think anybody needs and
then I will.
I will what?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
No one needs that, onlyfans.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
No one would pay for.
That is what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I mean maybe Dan Belson.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
You just killed this segment, did I really?
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Because I made you think about Dan Belson.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
No, I think you made me think about Dan Belson paying
for nude pictures of me.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Anyway.
So I was really convinced thatshe said before she moved in I'm
going to try to shower at homeas much as possible.
I thought the child was goingto come home every day to shower
.
Now she hasn't.
She has been showering at thedorm, super proud of her,
because she is.
She's an introvert andsocializing is, you know, it
takes effort.
She's been going to yogaclasses, she's been going to
(10:07):
extra, you know.
She's made friends, she's beengoing to things.
So it's been good but it's alsobeen hard.
But just the whole process ofmoving a kid in in town was a
schlog.
I can't remember that.
I mean, I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
A schlog.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Slog.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Slog.
I think that you just mixedSchlong.
Schlong.
That's a different.
Onlyfans, okay Slogs.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
It was difficult.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
You can't even say it was hard, because again we're
talking no it was manual labor.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Does that make it any better?
I don't know.
Anyway, in town and we stillneeded two cars Like I can't
imagine these people who have tomove their children do they
just rent U-Hauls?
What do they do?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I don't know.
It is a problem that peoplehave, and speaking of problems
that people have moving theirkids into their freshman dorm
we're going to resurrect a bithere that we've done before.
We actually had, at at onepoint, an entire podcast called
Unscrew it Up, and I actuallylove doing that.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I don't remember why we stopped doing it, because
it's just hard to do two ofthese a week.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yeah.
So the premise behind Unscrewit Up was differently twisted
solutions to life's littleproblems, and every week we
would address a thing and thencome up with solutions.
So we're going to do that forthis subject.
The subject is moving your kidinto a college dorm, and now the
Wilsons will unscrew it up.
(11:36):
Moving your kids into collegeyes, that's right.
It is that time of year and itpresents itself with lots of
difficulties that we've justgone through.
Moving Muffy to college.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
And it should be said that these, at least mine, are
specific to moving your kid intoa dorm.
I understand that moving yourkid into an apartment would be a
bit different and nuanced,right, but this is dorm living
to an apartment would be a bitdifferent and nuanced, right,
but this is dorm living.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
So what we do with this is that we each present a
certain problem and then ourproposed solution to it, and I
have, I think, five that I do.
How many do you have?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Two, three, I have five.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Okay, so what we do is we talk about these things
and then we narrow our list downto five.
We talk about these things andthen we narrow our list down to
five and then we submit our listto a person or organization so
that they can give feet to ourideas.
We're kind of the-.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
We're R&A.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Right, we're research , r&d.
Right, well, we're R, and thensomeone else is going to be.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
D, what is A?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I don't know.
This week we're going to comeup with our five top solutions
to problems moving kids intodorms and we're going to put
them all into an email and we'regoing to send them off to Danny
DeVito to address?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Does he have special talents in this area?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Well, he's a little guy.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
So I think he could pass Like if he needs to go in
and pretend to be like a collegestudent.
He can pass and he's prettycool, and so he can go in and
he's got this.
Look about him.
You're looking at me like I'vegot three heads.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Because he looks like he's 70, just in a small, tiny
little body.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Okay, well, he's cute , kind of like Baby Yoda, okay.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
He'll break down walls.
He can be like a mascot, so onwith it.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Now, amanda, what is your first problem that you've
identified and your firstsolution?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Well, before I get into my first one, let me say
this that I think that theuniversity here actually really
had it down like directingtraffic, scheduling appointments
.
You had to come at yourappointment time.
You could not come before.
If you came after, you had towait until after five o'clock.
They had people helping.
(13:50):
We pulled up, they had a teamof students I'm assuming they
paid these people because thiswould not be great volunteer
work.
They had three big carts andthey unpacked my car within a
matter of maybe three minutesand then they took Muffy, went
in to get her key, and then shetook them in the elevator and
they went up and they, you know,unloaded everything in the room
.
This is fabulous.
The problem is, once they leave, it is a mess and it takes
(14:13):
hours to put it together.
So my solution is they stay andthey transition from movers to
decorators.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Okay.
So what you're saying is thatthey need to take their system
where they had people move thekids from the cars and then
transition into a personal staff.
Is this like open-ended, or dothey have this personal staff
for only a certain?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
number.
No, this is like Queer Eye forthe Dorm, but just like just the
.
What's his name?
The one, jeremiah?
Yeah, it's just like jeremiahfor about an hour, because I've
never heard you curse so much aswhen you were trying to adjust
the bed and put the bed skirt on.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
So, like we need, we need to outsource this I don't
know how they're going to staffthat, um, but okay, sure,
personal staff for about an hour.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Wouldn't you have appreciated that more than
having to do it?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Oh, I would, but I also.
Had I thought about it, I wouldhave just hired people to do
that.
I didn't.
That didn't even occur to me.
It's one of those things.
We helped a friend of mine,Jason, who's moving back into
town, move into his houseyesterday and he had a pod out
on the street and we unpackedthis pod and this pod, like it,
looked like a smaller pod.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
It was deceptive because when I dropped you off,
you're like this won't take long.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Bigger on the inside.
It took us four hours to unpackthis.
Mike O'Malley Professor.
Mike O'Malley was there and hesaid a very wise thing.
He said you know, I've reachedthat point in my life where I
realized that there's much morevalue in hiring people to move
your stuff than moving your ownstuff.
Yes, and I could not agree withhim more so had I thought about
(15:49):
that.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I absolutely would have gone, hired someone.
Now I don't know where thelabor pool is for that.
I think there is.
Muffy was telling me that thereare people who hire people to
settle them in, but also likedecorator, interior designers.
I don't need interior designers.
She did fine on her own.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
I just need these people to put like the bed
together and put the rug downand hang the stuff up on the
wall.
Oh, very good.
Okay, so that's your first one,a personal staff for an hour.
Mine has more to do with thekids settling into life, like
maybe that first week, becauseyou move in and immediately
obviously you've got to get yourschedule, you've got to go to
classes.
She moved in and then a coupledays later, boom, first class
and then you're off.
So I understand that,especially if you don't have the
(16:31):
parents around, it's going tobe difficult for you to set that
wake-up schedule.
Son Andrew was telling me thathe was late for work the other
day.
He was supposed to wake up atnine with his alarm and he had
to work at 10.
He woke up at 11.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Oh no, had they not called him saying where are you?
Speaker 1 (16:49):
No well, I mean this pizza joint.
They don't do stuff like that,they just get on with it because
they're staffed mostly bycollege age kids and whatever.
But not the point.
The point is, he said, for thefirst time in his life he
realized that what happened wasfrom nine to like 10 or 11,.
Whenever he woke up, he justcontinually pressed the snooze
(17:13):
button.
And wasn't conscious that hewas doing it, and did not know,
and he had to press it like 12times, yeah, and he was blown
away.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
So even alarms aren't always effective.
So my solution is this For thatfirst week or first couple of
weeks, you have your bed on atimer and so it's not.
You can't snooze this timer.
The timer goes off and the bedpops you out of the bed, kind of
like that.
You remember that game we playedas a kid called Perfection,
(17:41):
yeah, where you had you put the,the little thing on, we have
that here winter past, yeah,yeah so the the the thing is on
a timer and you have to placeall of the pieces on there and
if you don't place all thepieces on there after a certain
amount of time they all pop off.
Well, I'm saying, take the popoff part of that technology, pop
that kid's ass out of the bedat 9 am and they will absolutely
(18:02):
like get used to that and thatwill be their new routine well,
I will say I'm very impressedbecause Muffy has been waking
herself up, which is fabulous,because I needed the pop-off to
pop up technology.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
When she lived here she wouldn't get out of bed but,
um, her bed is seven feet inthe air, or six feet or whatever
, so popping is absolutely notseven feet.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
It does.
It's the.
The bed is shorter than I amand I'm six foot, so it's
probably five foot off.
It's not seven feet.
In the air she's.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
She can't roll over and there's the ceiling it's not
like she's on a submarineyou'll understand that I'm short
, so everything looks taller tome, right?
Yes um, but I think, I stillthink the popping up technology
would not not be good.
It would.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
She would break something, I'm sure I mean, we
learn through pain sometimeswhat's what's, what's your next
thing all right.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
One of the hard things is is just taking a
chance on a roommate, right likeyou you meet.
You either do it by randomnessand the university matches you
up when they do things like haveyou fill out a form saying you
know, this is the kind of person, not like.
I am a night person, I'm amorning person, I'm clean, I'm
not whatever.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
I'm clean or I am not , like I'm tidy.
Who puts that I'm not clean?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
I'm not tidy Like tidiness is not a priority for
me, whatever I don, althoughthat could be a problem- Could,
you imagine if you had aroommate who didn't shower?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I'm quite certain that happens.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Okay, so anyway.
But finding a roommate isdifficult, just randomness.
Or even when you connect withsomebody, now they all do it via
social media and they startchatting with each other on
Instagram or whatever Stilldifficult.
I propose we engage some of theHarry Potter magicness and we
(19:42):
need a sorting hat for thesechildren.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Okay so.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
They need to roll up.
On the day that they'resupposed to move in, they get
the sorting hat, or like theyput their hand on something and
it does some bio scanning orwhatever, and then it says you
are like, oh, I just made it,yoda.
I don't know what's happening Iwas trying to be the sorting hat
, but I'm now I mean, maybe yodadecides, I don't know and then
they say you know, and it's notjust that, it's not just the
(20:09):
roommate, but it's also like you, like sorting houses, like you
should be in the social dorm,you should be in the study dorm,
you should be in the likewhatever dorm.
I, because it, it's.
It's kind of a you, you leaveeverything to chance.
So we need some sort of sortingtechnology that will assign
rooms.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Okay, when I said that we were going to do this
segment, I had two stipulations.
Do you remember what they?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
were, you said no AI, no AI and no drones, no drones.
Neither one of those are AI ordrones.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I didn't think that I need to say no, non-existent
magic.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Okay, well, you know what that means, that I think
outside of the box and therefore, when you dare to dream, you
can reach the stars.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Okay, you know, as I'm thinking about it, these
dorm rooms are really reallysmall.
All the kids need these roomsfor is to sleep right and keep
their clothes.
I think they need to to offeran option for kids who really
don't want to have roommates,but understanding that there's
(21:13):
only so much room and you can'tgive everyone an individual room
flat share or like a bed share.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Is this what you're gonna say?
Speaker 1 (21:20):
no, I don't know what a bed share is.
Okay, go ahead.
What's a bed share?
Speaker 2 (21:23):
like where you you you share a room and or a bed
with somebody, but you haveshifts oh, oh, I don't know it
works more like if you like if,like med students, do it where,
like one has a night shift andone has a day shift I'm.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I mean the college would have to radically change
how it is that they haveteaching schedule no, I going to
say offer like those microrooms, like they have in Japan.
Oh, the little hotel rooms, likethe little pods, yeah, yeah,
yeah like little pods and theycould be slightly larger than a
little pod even if we took thedorm room that Muffy has right,
split that sucker down themiddle and it would be like half
(21:59):
the size and already it's notbig.
But you'd have your privacy andyou wouldn't have to deal with
a roommate.
They have those.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
They're called single dorms, single rooms.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
They make single rooms.
They're more expensive and Ithink people want to have like I
know Muffy was wanting to have,you know the experience of
getting to know someone andbecoming close with the roommate
.
So I'm saying that's why weneed this sorting hat.
Or, you know, like the who'sthe what's its personality test,
what's the person who does the?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Myers-Briggs.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
We need something to connect these.
We can't leave it to Instagram.
We can't.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And that's how she did it.
Right, she did Instagram.
Yeah, yeah, again, we're notsaying anything about Muffy's.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
No, no, no, no.
I'm talking about the processin general.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I actually think that the idea of having personality
tests or whatever is reallysmart.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Okay, so is that one more acceptable than my sorting
hat?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I would think that things that actually exist.
I mean, I understand that thisis a slightly comedy-tinged
podcast, but we've stepped overa line when we're relying on JK
Rowling.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Do your Enneagram, do your Myers-Briggs, do whatever
your number or numerology is, Idon't care, do something.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I think that the college should offer a discount,
some sort of housing or roomingdiscount for kids who choose to
go that route.
They go through more testingand more assessment because
you're going to have a betterdorm experience like that.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
And less drama that they have to deal with later.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
That they have to deal with or RAs have to deal
with.
Let's say, you have an entirewing of people who have actually
gone through this process andhave decided, you know that's
going to be the dorm thateveryone wants to get into.
Yeah, yeah, all right, good,glad I made this better for you
yeah, all right, all right, good, glad I made this better for
you.
All right.
My next thing how do you knowthat your kid is settling in and
going to the first few sessionsof class and doing the things
(23:50):
that they need to do without youbeing there?
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I've intentionally not woken her up or texted her
anything this week to say didyou go to class, did you get up?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
and she's done it yes , well, that's very good, but in
general, especially for forparents who really worry about
their kids and and their kidsaren't necessarily texting back
or or whatever like how do youknow that that they're doing
what they need to do?
You check their location onyour phone yeah, that's the
worst thing ever invented for usdon't look, you do it too I do.
I do it because I can, you know,and it's.
(24:23):
It's one of those things where,like, I'll wake up at 11 30 at
night and I'll look and I'llmake sure that that she's in her
dorm or going to class or beingin the gym or whatever.
One of my favorite things to door it used to be, I don't do it
as much anymore is to look atthe um monterey Bay Aquarium,
penguin Cam.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Okay, I don't think we can have a cam that is in
their rooms or the bathrooms.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Well, I don't want it to be in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
What's wrong with?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
you?
No, but the idea of, for thefirst couple weeks, until we're
certain that they settle in, andthis is something everyone
agrees to have a student cam atleast in the classes.
Right, I don't need it to be inthe dorm room, um, but at least
in the classes so we can justlook and we don't need to hear
anything.
See, oh, they're in class, theymade it, they're fine, I can
(25:11):
turn it off, um okay, I likethis classroom dorm.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Yeah, our classroom camera yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
So so again, uh, kind of like the penguin cam less
water, right, less frolickingand swimming but one would hope
just some sort of some sort oflike the penguin cam.
Less water, right.
Less frolicking and swimming,one would hope, but just some
sort of like student cam so Ican make sure that they're okay.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Okay.
So mine addresses that kind ofdowntime before classes start
and when you move in.
So move in was the weekendbefore and classes started on a
Thursday, for whatever reason.
Muffy got a Tuesday move-inappointment and I don't know if
they look and say, do peoplelive in town?
Are they not coming from out?
It's like how they assign this.
We got a Tuesday.
It was much better because itwas not nearly as busy as it was
(25:53):
on the day that you know theweekend that everybody moved in
but there's still downtime,right.
So you got to fill it.
You got to.
You know you got to fill it.
You got to.
You know you got to meet people.
You're not going to classes yetthey have RAs.
Every floor has a residentadvisor.
It's an older student who thenis kind of like the dorm mom or
whatever for that floor.
(26:13):
Her RA is great, but her RA has, you know, a hall full of
people to try to, you know tosupport, and I don't even know
that she was back yet.
And so I'm suggesting that weneed move-in buddies that are
not the RA.
But it's kind of like I don'tknow if you guys did this at
camp, where you would pair likean older camper with a younger
camper to help them sort of withhomesickness.
Sure, this is what I'msuggesting.
(26:35):
You need a move-in buddy.
It's not somebody who helps youunpack or do any of that.
That's the personal staff we'regoing to hire for an hour.
But this is somebody who's justlike hey, I'm your point person
, we have them at work.
When somebody's onboarded, wegive you a here's your person,
you reach out to them, you meetwith them if you have questions.
So I think it would beadvantageous to have move-in
(26:57):
buddies so they do this.
When you rush a sorority orfraternity, you get a big
brother or a big sister right.
Sorority life is not for Muffy,sorority life is not for 50% of
the kids or fraternity life.
But I still think that havingsomebody who's been assigned to
you so you don't have to go findthem, you don't feel like
(27:17):
you're bothering them by askingthem to do this for you, like
they volunteered to do this, Ithink this would really be
helpful.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
In addition to all that, in addition to an RA, they
should have hallwaygrandmothers.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Oh God, could you imagine so great too, because,
like they could make sourdoughbread with you and teach you how
to crochet.
I love this idea.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
There are so many retirees who are up for, you
know, helping out, want to dosomething.
This is the perfect situation.
I'm not saying necessarily theyneed to live on campus.
I don't know how that wouldwork.
You know you have students outin the hallway at 1.30 in the
morning and grandma comes outwithout her teeth, shaking her
cane, saying you know, you needto be quiet, I need to get my
rest, but you know, you need tobe quiet, I need to get my rest,
(28:05):
but hallway grandmas would beso delightful now.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Would you have hallway grandmas on the boys
side too?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
yes, to keep them in line, not grandpas no, no, no,
no, no, no because the grant.
Listen, I'm going to be one ofthose real soon and I'm not
going to want to mess withanybody.
I will be out there, no teeth,with my cane saying you know,
get off my lawn yeah nope,grandmas, that's what you want.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
You want hallway grandmas I think this is a great
idea okay, my next thingphysical safety yes, yes
especially, you know, going outat night, being out all hours of
the night.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
They're gonna do what they're gonna do, right and you
just gotta that they're goingto make the right decisions and
they're not going to putthemselves in a dangerous
situation.
However, some situations areunavoidable.
I think we need to have somesort of personal protection
system that can either betriggered by the student or
automatically be triggered whencertain conditions are met.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Okay, we do have a personal protection thing for
muffy.
It's uh, it's called a birdiealarm.
That, um, I had bought her whenshe first started going to the
community college for her dualenrollment and I just reminded
her of it and she's got to putit on her keychain.
But you pull it and it makesthis ear pain bleeding, bleeding
(29:21):
, high-pitched alarm that willjust go off and off and off.
Now they make them where itwill also call 911 for you but
you have to have a monthlysubscription for it and we don't
have that.
But she does have a personalalarm.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
That's great.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Not what I'm talking about, though I know I'm just
letting people know that we dohave some sort of responsible
parenting happening.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
At the onset of any questionable or dangerous
situation, a giant hamster ballinflates around the child.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
I love how you got on me about the sorting hat, yet
you somehow think that we'regoing to be able to Danny DeVito
is going to be able to createthe technology that this child
carries around a hamster ballthat then inflates with them.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Listen.
Everything, all the technologyis getting smaller now, right,
listen.
By the way, on this pod on theUnscrewed Up podcast, one of our
early episodes, I suggested apersonal car wash a car wash
that you can get into and itwould scrub you and take care of
you.
They have invented that inJapan.
I saw the newspaper articleyesterday, in fact, and I was so
(30:28):
excited because this means thatwe are the Wilsons.
We are on the bleeding edge ofresearch and technology and
coming up with new ideas.
In fact, I need to contact thiscompany in Japan and make sure
they haven't stolen my idea.
So, personal protection ballsfor for students.
Well, we'll come up with adifferent name, but the idea is
(30:50):
just like a cod piece thatinflates.
No, the idea is unwantedadvances a thing of the past as
soon as things get creepy, abutton is pressed, the hamster
ball inflates very quickly andthe person goes shooting onto
the side and your child isprotected.
They get themselves into asituation where they've gone to
a party and maybe they've hadbeverages that they shouldn't
(31:10):
have which is going to happenbut you want them just to be
safe.
Imagine like you're in yourdorm, it's 1 am in the morning,
your roommate's not there.
You know that there was a party.
You look out the window on thequad and rolling around gently
in the moonlight are dozens ofhamster balls filled with
(31:33):
students who may or may not beconscious, but they are safe,
they're safe.
And this is what I'm going forhere Personal protection in the
way of giant inflatable hamsterballs.
Put it down.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
All right, I like it.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
All right, what's your next thing?
So?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
my next thing is also about the transition and having
a hard time and missing home orfeeling like you don't know
anybody or you don't have anyfriends.
My suggestion is you know howin?
I don't know if you've seenthis, but in airports they have
emotional support dogs forpeople who are afraid of flying.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
So they can just go and sit and pet the dog.
Yeah, I think that we needemotional support animals
available on move-in day, likethey have in the airports, for
both kids and parents.
Right, it's hard on parents,it's hard on the kids.
Every floor dogs are not yourthing, then get an emotional
(32:29):
support capybara.
I don't know Whatever it isthat people would want to hang
out with and pet and love.
Now I will say Muffy's RA has akitten and it must be an
emotional support cat because Idon't know how it's being
allowed in the dorm and don't gotell anybody because I love it,
so don't go report it.
And the RA has said anytime youneed, just text me.
(32:50):
She loves cuddles and that'sgreat, but it wasn't there on
move-in day.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
So we need a move-in day support animal.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Okay, all right, I'm down with that.
And that actually ties into mynext idea, a little bit
Communicating with your child.
It's all well and good that wehave all this technology to
connect with our children, butif they don't answer back your
text, then what's the point?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Right.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
I think that we need to utilize good, old-fashioned
animals to help us with thissituation.
Back in World War II, they useddogs to carry messages from
trench to trench.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Like St Bernard's with their barrels.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
No, no, that's delivering alcohol from peak to
peak.
No, they would have these dogsand they're very dependable and
they knew what they were doing.
They would go back and forthtaking messages from the
colonels to the generals, to thecaptains, to the privates, to
the generals, to the captains,to the privates.
And that's really such a greatsystem, because the dog is going
to go, the dog is going to findyour child and the dog is going
(33:55):
to bark until your child readsthe message.
that's around the dog's neck andthen takes the little pen
that's there and responds to itand sends the dog on its way.
If we know anything about dogs,it's that they want to
accomplish their mission.
They want to please you.
Your kid is not getting awayfrom this dog.
Your kid is going to answeryour message because this dog is
(34:16):
going to come, run from home,get the, deliver your message.
Get the message and run backhome okay, perfect this right.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
except for what about kids who go, like, on opposite
coast of the country or, youknow, nine away, even two hours
away?
This dog is not going to rundown the interstate.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Well then, maybe what needs to happen is that we need
to have a dog communicationannex office at each university.
Right, you give your, you sendyour message to this annex
office, the person thereattaches the message to the dog,
and then that dog goes out andfinds your kid on the campus and
then comes back.
That's even better, actually,because I would do that rather
(34:56):
than have the dog run to and froeven across town, but using
dogs that are actual creaturesthat you cannot snooze or that
you cannot turn off to delivermessages and to get messages
back Perfect messaging system.
I don't trust pigeons becausethey could hit a tower or
whatever and they messages.
And to get messages backperfect messaging system.
I don't trust pigeons becauseyou know they could hit a tower
or or whatever and they'reshifty.
Anyway they got their.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
I was gonna suggest carrier pigeons, but you clearly
already thought about this no,the dog communication annex
office on each college campus.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
There you go, I've morphed my idea into I like it
is that your last one it is allright.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
well, I've got one last, and this just has to do
with just the day of and all ofthe stress that's going along
with it.
And you know we were in theroom, we were moving things
around and the roommate, youknow she left because nobody
wants to be in the middle of allthat.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Well, it's not enough room for all of us.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
And you kept taking the trash out back and forth.
If anything they could do tolighten the load for me, catered
lunch, it's not hard, set it upin the common space and then,
because you know they have the,the hallways that go one way and
the other it's like the boyshall in this way and the girls
hall this way, and then they'vegot like a kitchen, like common
area, just catered lunch.
I work for this university.
I know all of the things thatcan cater for them.
(36:08):
We pay you enough money inhousing fees.
Just cater the damn lunch onmove-in day.
That's all Because we were left.
We had not eaten.
Our appointment was at nine inthe morning.
We left home at 8.30.
Now I had made pancakes for thekids because you took Winthrop
to school and Muffy ate thepancakes.
(36:29):
I didn't eat.
I don't know if you ate.
And then we were done at like2.30 and I had not eaten and I
was uber grumpy and hungry.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Yes, you were.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Catered lunch.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
I feel like most things in society would be much
better if there was a cateredlunch.
Okay, so shall I read back allof our things and then we take
it in turns to pick one that welike until we get five.
Okay, so this is what we haveby way of reminder personal
staff for an hour after move-inpop-up mechanism on your bed
(37:02):
that will shoot you out of yourbed so you you can set your bed
schedule.
A roommate finder in lieu of asorting hat, like assessments,
like INTP and all that stuff.
Student cam I'm going to goahead and scratch that one out
because that one sounds prettycreepy and it's not meant to.
So no more penguin cam idea.
I'm getting rid of that one.
Dorm grandmother.
(37:23):
A move-in buddy, a gianthamster ball protection system.
Emotional support animals,trench dogs to deliver messages
and catered lunch.
Wowzers Okay, you get to pickone.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
My first one is personal staff for an hour,
because I think that takes a lotof stress off of.
Like you're already stressed,the emotions are already running
high and you don't want to befighting with each other over
like where this bed's gonna getlofted to and where how to make
that thing stick to the wallyeah, yeah, okay, very good.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Um, my thing, I think , is I'm gonna go for the dorm,
grandmother I love this ideabecause that takes you not even
through the first week.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
It takes you through the entire semester and
grandmother needs to have allthe parents' phone numbers.
Can you imagine the lift of thestress off of the parents?
Because you know, when I usedto take Muffy to stay with my
mom I didn't worry as much,right, because I knew my mom had
it Like I was, like you know,when I would travel and she
(38:29):
would Muffy Weep by my mom.
Mom's going to call me ifsomething's wrong, like, and
your child may not necessarilycall you, but dorm grandma going
to call you.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
I'm going to make this even more specific the dorm
grandma has to be a Cuban mamafrom Hialeah.
I'm from Miami, yeah, and ifthere's anything, I know that
throughout Hialeah they do nothave crime watch.
They have, like the team ofabuelas that can find out all of
the information, right?
So I'm going to say Cubangrandma, dorm grandma.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Do Cuban grandmas also throw their sandals at you,
the chicleta?
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Chancleta, chancleta, do they do that?
Yeah, yeah, that's all I needIf you're bad.
Yes, that's for the boys' hall.
All right, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I don't think it's realistic, but I think that the
personal protection bubble wouldbring me a lot of comfort as
well.
It's up to Danny DeVito tofigure out how to do it, but
that's my next one.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
I think the hamster ball also, as soon as it's
activated like a camera, goes onthat you can know what's
happening.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Can we just have it call the police, or like the
non-emergency number orsomething?
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Well, yeah, but don't you want to know as well?
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Yeah, Well, I mean the university already has an
alert system where I get textmessages all the time in the
middle of the night whensomebody's bike is stolen.
So they can just integrate thisinto the text message, but just
send it to me.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
I'm going to, for my thing, this into the text
message, but just send it to me.
I'm going to, for my thing.
I'm going to combine two of theideas to make one idea.
We have emotional support dogand these trench communication
dogs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Double, duty Same dogs, samedogs.
Yeah, yes, but it's importantfor me to be able to reach my
kid, and I feel like the onlyway I can be assured to reach my
kid is if there's a dog huntinghim down I mean they're
(40:11):
trackers.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Right, we got to get the ones that are trackers.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
No, I think they are all trackers.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Yeah not sure that um the podcast pup here would be
able to do this, because he'dget distracted by something and
then gone he's useless.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
All right, what's your last?
This is the last one.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
You get the last pick all right, I gotta pull the
list back up, though.
So well, you I?
I was going to say emotionalsupport dogs, but you've already
done that.
Um, all right, catered lunch.
Just feed me, Diana DeVito.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Catered lunch.
This, now, is what a collegemove in is going to look like
this.
These are the suggestions thatwe are forwarding on personal
staff uh, for an hour to meetand set up and apparently you
want them to be somehowaffiliated with Queer Eye, fine
Dorm Abuela, getting all the teaand handing out all of the
(40:57):
advice, but also hitting peoplewith sandals, dogs available for
emotional support, but also totrack your kids down, the
personal protective device, agiant inflatable hamster ball
and, of course, catered lunch.
So I would say that for thistopic, it is Unscrewed.
(41:23):
All right, Amanda, that's allthere is.
There is no more.
What did you think about usreturning to the Unscrew it Up
format?
Speaker 2 (41:29):
I really enjoyed that .
Let us know, dear listener, ifyou enjoyed that and if that's a
thing that you want to seerevisited throughout this little
podcast that we're doing here,called Super Familiar with the
Wilsons.
You can email us atfamiliarwilsons at gmailcom.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
All right.
Well, we would like to thankthe whole list of people that we
usually thank.
I don't have the list in frontof me and I don't want to you.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
all know them.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
I don't want to try to say it from memory, because
I'll leave someone out.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Let me do this.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Joey, yes, thank you.
Until next week, take it easyand hold your loved ones close.
Treasure each and every hour,every day that you get to spend
with them.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
And go be kind.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Bye, bye, bye, thank you.
Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the
story.
You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.
The following podcast useswords like and and also.
If you're not into any of thatshit, then now's your chance.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Three, two, one run.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm super familiar with you, wilson, get it.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.
I'm Amanda.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
And I'm Josh.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
And Josh, are you still sick?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I mean you can kind of hear it in my voice.
I've still got something, alittle bit of something, as I
said in the intro to last week'sthing, like I don't know what I
have or had, and that's alittle unnerving these days.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I'm fairly certain that you had.
I mean because you ran a prettyhigh fever, so I'm certain that
you had something that nobodyreally wants you to have again.
But yeah, your cough issticking around.
So I just wanted to check in.
I missed everybody last weekbecause I was out getting muffie
ready to go to college.
Well, muffie has been incollege for the past two years.
Even while she was in highschool she was dual enrolled.
(01:11):
But this is the first time thatshe is living away from home,
so we moved her to the dorm ontuesday that we did and how are
you feeling about that?
I'm okay.
I mean, I will say I'mincredibly privileged and
incredibly lucky that she gotinto the university that's in
our town, so she's about 15minutes down the road.
(01:33):
I have a colleague whosedaughter is nine hours away.
I mean, a lot of kids whodidn't get into the university
here went two hours away eitherdirection, either up near
Tallahassee or down to orlando.
And we've we are just down thestreet.
So I'm very, very fortunate, umand and thankful that she is
(01:54):
still in town.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
But it's hard, it's still hard, but okay, but let's
talk about that, though, because, like like I told her, she can
come home and spend the nightwhenever she wants to.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And she has.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
And she has.
So what in your mindemotionally?
Because you're like you havebeen like really upset, but
she's just right there.
I know, but it's, it's justlike you know what it is.
It's just like now.
She has two, two rooms.
She has two different locationsto keep her shit.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Right, but otherwise what's?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Because two different locations to keep her shit, yes
, right, but otherwise, what's?
Because I mean, it's the markand you've been through this
with the boys, so like you're alittle bit like, okay, I've done
this, but it's the beginning ofthings are changing, like it's
not going to be that she liveswith us forever.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Now she might yeah, I was going to say we have like
four years to live it up andthen usually they come back like
the passenger pigeon that allof a sudden remembers.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Well, the boys haven't.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Well, that's true.
Well, they moved in together,though.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
See, that's the thing .
Speaker 1 (02:53):
They're two and a half years apart.
They're very close.
They moved in together, so youknow.
And also their situation isdifferent because when I got
divorced from their mother, likethey would go back and forth-
Together.
Together, and so I think thatfor them they formed this little
unit of them.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
And they've told me that they were relieved to not
to have to go back and forth.
Like that's one of those thingswith getting remarried.
And then there's kids that youhave from a previous marriage is
like those kids that are goingfrom parent to parent like it
kind of sucks for them.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, it does.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Because, like, oh, you know where's my Mr Zippy
doll, oh, I left them at dad'shouse or whatever, and that just
becomes just really annoying tothem, and so they were happy to
move out, just so that they canjust have all of their stuff in
one place.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, well, and also when they went back and forth,
they had each other.
When Muffy's dad and I gotdivorced, she didn't have a
sibling to go back and forthwith her.
So there's a little bit ofseparation anxiety and a little
bit of separation anxiety and alittle bit of of emotion around,
uh, being separated, that theboys didn't necessarily have
(04:10):
because they had each other.
We tried, we got her somehamsters that would go back and
forth, because we're like, well,here's what you can have, and
then one hamster ate the otherhamster, and it was really
tragic.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
So like yes, and luckily with us, one of my sons
hasn't eaten didn't eat theother one, right?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
That has not yet happened, right.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
And actually, interestingly enough, the oldest
son, daniel.
He's like moved out now.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
It's like he has a partner and they've moved into
their own place, and so Andrewis in their old place, the place
they own together, yeah, somaybe he'll move back now.
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I mean we've got room and and winthrop would be very
happy.
So this is it's also really hardon winthrop because he went
through it with andrew.
I think daniel moved out whenwinthrop was still maybe like 18
months old, but andrew livedwith us until winthrop was you
know three or four, and so hewas aware when andrew moved out
and missed him a whole bunch.
Not that he didn't miss daniel,but it was the every day of
Andrew being here, and so heknew what that absence felt like
(05:10):
.
And so when Muffy left on herfirst night in the dorm he
started crying, but not likedramatically crying, like
tearing up, which is moregut-wrenching because it's
coming from a place of not drama, but like really feeling it and
saying he didn't want her to bethere.
And so that's also been hard.
And I think it's been hard onher that she's got a little
(05:32):
brother here, because not justus, but it's a little brother
and it's the dog, and so it'sit's been it's I'm gonna break
in right here and say that I'mhappy to ship winthrop to have
overnights at the dorm.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I know, I know which by the way, dorm, college, dorm
living very interesting Tinyrooms so tiny.
Tiny rooms and if you've neverhad a sibling before that you've
had to share a room with, it'slike a really awkward experience
for 17, 18, 19 year olds to goand their first experience
having a roommate is like theybasically cannot be in the room
(06:04):
without breathing on them yeahthat has got to be so awkward
though yeah, and I don't knowlike.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
I think that, yeah, I mean muffie's roommate's super
nice, but they don't have thesame schedule and they're not
really in the room very oftenand so that's probably like
except to sleep, and that's theweird yeah, because you're like
you could reach out and touchthe person right.
You know, and that's the weirdthing.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, because you're like you could reach out and
touch the person, right?
No, okay, that's weird.
No, it's just that like I don'tthink I could get comfortable
in a room with people that Idon't really know in close
quarters and I got to go tosleep.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Okay, whatever friend you were at camp for, like ever
.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Well, yeah, but oh yeah, I guess that's true.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
See, that's what I'm saying.
I also did not have a you and Idid not share rooms when we
were growing up, because wedidn't have siblings close to
our age or siblings, and myfirst experience sharing a room
with somebody in a bed near mewas working at camp.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Well, yeah, but at camp you've got the counselor in
there.
Like to protect you from theother person being a jackass or
whatever.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
No, but see for me, because I worked at a boys camp.
We slept in the women's dormand it was just three of us in a
room okay, but you were anadult, adult, right, you were
like I was 19, oh, were you okay, well fine, whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So, apparently, like you have better insight into
this than I do, because I'veI've never done it in this way
yeah, and I will say she's, Ishe's adjusting really well to
communal showers.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I didn't think she was going to.
I thought when she first I'mnot saying she showers with
people, but I'm saying showeringin like a communal bathroom.
Now in the bathroom there's theshower and the shower curtain
and then like a dressing areaand then a door, so it's like
not just you get out of theshower curtain, then that's
nothing.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
That's just like tiny showers, tiny separate showers.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Right, no, but I was appreciative that.
I was surprised that it waslike that, because the only
communal showers I've beenexposed to that sounds weird
that I've experienced have beenat camp and it's just like
shower curtain and you're outwhere the sink and everything is
.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I went to camp in the 80s.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
And no curtains.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
No curtains, just like here we have a wall of
shower heads, a wall of showerheads and it's like you know,
okay, let the let the pigs inand hose them down.
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
it was so well, but you weren't sharing a shower
head, like you had your ownshower heads, right?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I know, but they were really close yeah, I don't know
.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I've never done that.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I've only ever had like tiny little showers with I
wanted to have, like I wantedeveryone to have, like horse
blinders or at least I did,because I didn't want to, you
know sometimes look over and seethings yeah, no, no, I don't
want to see things.
I already.
You should already see enoughthings, because, just like you
go as an adult, you go to thegym and you know people are
apparently very comfortablewalking around with their junk
(08:41):
hanging out.
It's even more awkward whenyou're a teenager.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
So I had forgotten about this, but now you said
this.
So in my mid-30s I had a gymmembership and I used to go
every day and I would not showerthere because I'd just go home
and I didn't go from there towork or anything.
The people who walked aroundnaked in the women's changing
room were always the old women.
I guess by then they're justlike.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
F?
It changing room were alwaysthe old women.
I guess by then they're justlike oh, they don't, I don't
care, they don't care.
Listen, that is actually alevel of I don't care about the
world that I aspire to yeah I amnot there, right there.
Oh, I'm creeping closer to itevery day, as evidenced by my
wardrobe choices and your achingjoints but I am not yet to the
point where I can just walkaround naked in front of people.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
It's not a thing.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
It's not a thing.
Pay me, pay me lots of money Idon't think anybody needs and
then I will.
I will what?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
No one needs that, onlyfans.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
No one would pay for.
That is what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I mean maybe Dan Belson.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
You just killed this segment, did I really?
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Because I made you think about Dan Belson.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
No, I think you made me think about Dan Belson paying
for nude pictures of me.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Anyway.
So I was really convinced thatshe said before she moved in I'm
going to try to shower at homeas much as possible.
I thought the child was goingto come home every day to shower
.
Now she hasn't.
She has been showering at thedorm, super proud of her,
because she is.
She's an introvert andsocializing is, you know, it
takes effort.
She's been going to yogaclasses, she's been going to
(10:07):
extra, you know.
She's made friends, she's beengoing to things.
So it's been good but it's alsobeen hard.
But just the whole process ofmoving a kid in in town was a
schlog.
I can't remember that.
I mean, I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
A schlog.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Slog.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Slog.
I think that you just mixedSchlong.
Schlong.
That's a different.
Onlyfans, okay Slogs.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
It was difficult.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
You can't even say it was hard, because again we're
talking no it was manual labor.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Does that make it any better?
I don't know.
Anyway, in town and we stillneeded two cars Like I can't
imagine these people who have tomove their children do they
just rent U-Hauls?
What do they do?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I don't know.
It is a problem that peoplehave, and speaking of problems
that people have moving theirkids into their freshman dorm
we're going to resurrect a bithere that we've done before.
We actually had, at at onepoint, an entire podcast called
Unscrew it Up, and I actuallylove doing that.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I don't remember why we stopped doing it, because
it's just hard to do two ofthese a week.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yeah.
So the premise behind Unscrewit Up was differently twisted
solutions to life's littleproblems, and every week we
would address a thing and thencome up with solutions.
So we're going to do that forthis subject.
The subject is moving your kidinto a college dorm, and now the
Wilsons will unscrew it up.
(11:36):
Moving your kids into collegeyes, that's right.
It is that time of year and itpresents itself with lots of
difficulties that we've justgone through.
Moving Muffy to college.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
And it should be said that these, at least mine, are
specific to moving your kid intoa dorm.
I understand that moving yourkid into an apartment would be a
bit different and nuanced,right, but this is dorm living
to an apartment would be a bitdifferent and nuanced, right,
but this is dorm living.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
So what we do with this is that we each present a
certain problem and then ourproposed solution to it, and I
have, I think, five that I do.
How many do you have?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Two, three, I have five.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Okay, so what we do is we talk about these things
and then we narrow our list downto five.
We talk about these things andthen we narrow our list down to
five and then we submit our listto a person or organization so
that they can give feet to ourideas.
We're kind of the-.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
We're R&A.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Right, we're research , r&d.
Right, well, we're R, and thensomeone else is going to be.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
D, what is A?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I don't know.
This week we're going to comeup with our five top solutions
to problems moving kids intodorms and we're going to put
them all into an email and we'regoing to send them off to Danny
DeVito to address?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Does he have special talents in this area?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Well, he's a little guy.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
So I think he could pass Like if he needs to go in
and pretend to be like a collegestudent.
He can pass and he's prettycool, and so he can go in and
he's got this.
Look about him.
You're looking at me like I'vegot three heads.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Because he looks like he's 70, just in a small, tiny
little body.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Okay, well, he's cute , kind of like Baby Yoda, okay.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
He'll break down walls.
He can be like a mascot, so onwith it.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Now, amanda, what is your first problem that you've
identified and your firstsolution?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Well, before I get into my first one, let me say
this that I think that theuniversity here actually really
had it down like directingtraffic, scheduling appointments
.
You had to come at yourappointment time.
You could not come before.
If you came after, you had towait until after five o'clock.
They had people helping.
(13:50):
We pulled up, they had a teamof students I'm assuming they
paid these people because thiswould not be great volunteer
work.
They had three big carts andthey unpacked my car within a
matter of maybe three minutesand then they took Muffy, went
in to get her key, and then shetook them in the elevator and
they went up and they, you know,unloaded everything in the room
.
This is fabulous.
The problem is, once they leave, it is a mess and it takes
(14:13):
hours to put it together.
So my solution is they stay andthey transition from movers to
decorators.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Okay.
So what you're saying is thatthey need to take their system
where they had people move thekids from the cars and then
transition into a personal staff.
Is this like open-ended, or dothey have this personal staff
for only a certain?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
number.
No, this is like Queer Eye forthe Dorm, but just like just the
.
What's his name?
The one, jeremiah?
Yeah, it's just like jeremiahfor about an hour, because I've
never heard you curse so much aswhen you were trying to adjust
the bed and put the bed skirt on.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
So, like we need, we need to outsource this I don't
know how they're going to staffthat, um, but okay, sure,
personal staff for about an hour.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Wouldn't you have appreciated that more than
having to do it?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Oh, I would, but I also.
Had I thought about it, I wouldhave just hired people to do
that.
I didn't.
That didn't even occur to me.
It's one of those things.
We helped a friend of mine,Jason, who's moving back into
town, move into his houseyesterday and he had a pod out
on the street and we unpackedthis pod and this pod, like it,
looked like a smaller pod.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
It was deceptive because when I dropped you off,
you're like this won't take long.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Bigger on the inside.
It took us four hours to unpackthis.
Mike O'Malley Professor.
Mike O'Malley was there and hesaid a very wise thing.
He said you know, I've reachedthat point in my life where I
realized that there's much morevalue in hiring people to move
your stuff than moving your ownstuff.
Yes, and I could not agree withhim more so had I thought about
(15:49):
that.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I absolutely would have gone, hired someone.
Now I don't know where thelabor pool is for that.
I think there is.
Muffy was telling me that thereare people who hire people to
settle them in, but also likedecorator, interior designers.
I don't need interior designers.
She did fine on her own.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
I just need these people to put like the bed
together and put the rug downand hang the stuff up on the
wall.
Oh, very good.
Okay, so that's your first one,a personal staff for an hour.
Mine has more to do with thekids settling into life, like
maybe that first week, becauseyou move in and immediately
obviously you've got to get yourschedule, you've got to go to
classes.
She moved in and then a coupledays later, boom, first class
and then you're off.
So I understand that,especially if you don't have the
(16:31):
parents around, it's going tobe difficult for you to set that
wake-up schedule.
Son Andrew was telling me thathe was late for work the other
day.
He was supposed to wake up atnine with his alarm and he had
to work at 10.
He woke up at 11.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Oh no, had they not called him saying where are you?
Speaker 1 (16:49):
No well, I mean this pizza joint.
They don't do stuff like that,they just get on with it because
they're staffed mostly bycollege age kids and whatever.
But not the point.
The point is, he said, for thefirst time in his life he
realized that what happened wasfrom nine to like 10 or 11,.
Whenever he woke up, he justcontinually pressed the snooze
(17:13):
button.
And wasn't conscious that hewas doing it, and did not know,
and he had to press it like 12times, yeah, and he was blown
away.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
So even alarms aren't always effective.
So my solution is this For thatfirst week or first couple of
weeks, you have your bed on atimer and so it's not.
You can't snooze this timer.
The timer goes off and the bedpops you out of the bed, kind of
like that.
You remember that game we playedas a kid called Perfection,
(17:41):
yeah, where you had you put the,the little thing on, we have
that here winter past, yeah,yeah so the the the thing is on
a timer and you have to placeall of the pieces on there and
if you don't place all thepieces on there after a certain
amount of time they all pop off.
Well, I'm saying, take the popoff part of that technology, pop
that kid's ass out of the bedat 9 am and they will absolutely
(18:02):
like get used to that and thatwill be their new routine well,
I will say I'm very impressedbecause Muffy has been waking
herself up, which is fabulous,because I needed the pop-off to
pop up technology.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
When she lived here she wouldn't get out of bed but,
um, her bed is seven feet inthe air, or six feet or whatever
, so popping is absolutely notseven feet.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
It does.
It's the.
The bed is shorter than I amand I'm six foot, so it's
probably five foot off.
It's not seven feet.
In the air she's.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
She can't roll over and there's the ceiling it's not
like she's on a submarineyou'll understand that I'm short
, so everything looks taller tome, right?
Yes um, but I think, I stillthink the popping up technology
would not not be good.
It would.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
She would break something, I'm sure I mean, we
learn through pain sometimeswhat's what's, what's your next
thing all right.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
One of the hard things is is just taking a
chance on a roommate, right likeyou you meet.
You either do it by randomnessand the university matches you
up when they do things like haveyou fill out a form saying you
know, this is the kind of person, not like.
I am a night person, I'm amorning person, I'm clean, I'm
not whatever.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
I'm clean or I am not , like I'm tidy.
Who puts that I'm not clean?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
I'm not tidy Like tidiness is not a priority for
me, whatever I don, althoughthat could be a problem- Could,
you imagine if you had aroommate who didn't shower?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I'm quite certain that happens.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Okay, so anyway.
But finding a roommate isdifficult, just randomness.
Or even when you connect withsomebody, now they all do it via
social media and they startchatting with each other on
Instagram or whatever Stilldifficult.
I propose we engage some of theHarry Potter magicness and we
(19:42):
need a sorting hat for thesechildren.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Okay so.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
They need to roll up.
On the day that they'resupposed to move in, they get
the sorting hat, or like theyput their hand on something and
it does some bio scanning orwhatever, and then it says you
are like, oh, I just made it,yoda.
I don't know what's happening Iwas trying to be the sorting hat
, but I'm now I mean, maybe yodadecides, I don't know and then
they say you know, and it's notjust that, it's not just the
(20:09):
roommate, but it's also like you, like sorting houses, like you
should be in the social dorm,you should be in the study dorm,
you should be in the likewhatever dorm.
I, because it, it's.
It's kind of a you, you leaveeverything to chance.
So we need some sort of sortingtechnology that will assign
rooms.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Okay, when I said that we were going to do this
segment, I had two stipulations.
Do you remember what they?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
were, you said no AI, no AI and no drones, no drones.
Neither one of those are AI ordrones.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I didn't think that I need to say no, non-existent
magic.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Okay, well, you know what that means, that I think
outside of the box and therefore, when you dare to dream, you
can reach the stars.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Okay, you know, as I'm thinking about it, these
dorm rooms are really reallysmall.
All the kids need these roomsfor is to sleep right and keep
their clothes.
I think they need to to offeran option for kids who really
don't want to have roommates,but understanding that there's
(21:13):
only so much room and you can'tgive everyone an individual room
flat share or like a bed share.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Is this what you're gonna say?
Speaker 1 (21:20):
no, I don't know what a bed share is.
Okay, go ahead.
What's a bed share?
Speaker 2 (21:23):
like where you you you share a room and or a bed
with somebody, but you haveshifts oh, oh, I don't know it
works more like if you like if,like med students, do it where,
like one has a night shift andone has a day shift I'm.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I mean the college would have to radically change
how it is that they haveteaching schedule no, I going to
say offer like those microrooms, like they have in Japan.
Oh, the little hotel rooms, likethe little pods, yeah, yeah,
yeah like little pods and theycould be slightly larger than a
little pod even if we took thedorm room that Muffy has right,
split that sucker down themiddle and it would be like half
(21:59):
the size and already it's notbig.
But you'd have your privacy andyou wouldn't have to deal with
a roommate.
They have those.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
They're called single dorms, single rooms.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
They make single rooms.
They're more expensive and Ithink people want to have like I
know Muffy was wanting to have,you know the experience of
getting to know someone andbecoming close with the roommate
.
So I'm saying that's why weneed this sorting hat.
Or, you know, like the who'sthe what's its personality test,
what's the person who does the?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Myers-Briggs.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
We need something to connect these.
We can't leave it to Instagram.
We can't.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And that's how she did it.
Right, she did Instagram.
Yeah, yeah, again, we're notsaying anything about Muffy's.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
No, no, no, no.
I'm talking about the processin general.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I actually think that the idea of having personality
tests or whatever is reallysmart.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Okay, so is that one more acceptable than my sorting
hat?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I would think that things that actually exist.
I mean, I understand that thisis a slightly comedy-tinged
podcast, but we've stepped overa line when we're relying on JK
Rowling.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Do your Enneagram, do your Myers-Briggs, do whatever
your number or numerology is, Idon't care, do something.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I think that the college should offer a discount,
some sort of housing or roomingdiscount for kids who choose to
go that route.
They go through more testingand more assessment because
you're going to have a betterdorm experience like that.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
And less drama that they have to deal with later.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
That they have to deal with or RAs have to deal
with.
Let's say, you have an entirewing of people who have actually
gone through this process andhave decided, you know that's
going to be the dorm thateveryone wants to get into.
Yeah, yeah, all right, good,glad I made this better for you
yeah, all right, all right, good, glad I made this better for
you.
All right.
My next thing how do you knowthat your kid is settling in and
going to the first few sessionsof class and doing the things
(23:50):
that they need to do without youbeing there?
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I've intentionally not woken her up or texted her
anything this week to say didyou go to class, did you get up?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
and she's done it yes , well, that's very good, but in
general, especially for forparents who really worry about
their kids and and their kidsaren't necessarily texting back
or or whatever like how do youknow that that they're doing
what they need to do?
You check their location onyour phone yeah, that's the
worst thing ever invented for usdon't look, you do it too I do.
I do it because I can, you know,and it's.
(24:23):
It's one of those things where,like, I'll wake up at 11 30 at
night and I'll look and I'llmake sure that that she's in her
dorm or going to class or beingin the gym or whatever.
One of my favorite things to door it used to be, I don't do it
as much anymore is to look atthe um monterey Bay Aquarium,
penguin Cam.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Okay, I don't think we can have a cam that is in
their rooms or the bathrooms.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Well, I don't want it to be in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
What's wrong with?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
you?
No, but the idea of, for thefirst couple weeks, until we're
certain that they settle in, andthis is something everyone
agrees to have a student cam atleast in the classes.
Right, I don't need it to be inthe dorm room, um, but at least
in the classes so we can justlook and we don't need to hear
anything.
See, oh, they're in class, theymade it, they're fine, I can
(25:11):
turn it off, um okay, I likethis classroom dorm.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Yeah, our classroom camera yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
So so again, uh, kind of like the penguin cam less
water, right, less frolickingand swimming but one would hope
just some sort of some sort oflike the penguin cam.
Less water, right.
Less frolicking and swimming,one would hope, but just some
sort of like student cam so Ican make sure that they're okay.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Okay.
So mine addresses that kind ofdowntime before classes start
and when you move in.
So move in was the weekendbefore and classes started on a
Thursday, for whatever reason.
Muffy got a Tuesday move-inappointment and I don't know if
they look and say, do peoplelive in town?
Are they not coming from out?
It's like how they assign this.
We got a Tuesday.
It was much better because itwas not nearly as busy as it was
(25:53):
on the day that you know theweekend that everybody moved in
but there's still downtime,right.
So you got to fill it.
You got to.
You know you got to fill it.
You got to.
You know you got to meet people.
You're not going to classes yetthey have RAs.
Every floor has a residentadvisor.
It's an older student who thenis kind of like the dorm mom or
whatever for that floor.
(26:13):
Her RA is great, but her RA has, you know, a hall full of
people to try to, you know tosupport, and I don't even know
that she was back yet.
And so I'm suggesting that weneed move-in buddies that are
not the RA.
But it's kind of like I don'tknow if you guys did this at
camp, where you would pair likean older camper with a younger
camper to help them sort of withhomesickness.
Sure, this is what I'msuggesting.
(26:35):
You need a move-in buddy.
It's not somebody who helps youunpack or do any of that.
That's the personal staff we'regoing to hire for an hour.
But this is somebody who's justlike hey, I'm your point person
, we have them at work.
When somebody's onboarded, wegive you a here's your person,
you reach out to them, you meetwith them if you have questions.
So I think it would beadvantageous to have move-in
(26:57):
buddies so they do this.
When you rush a sorority orfraternity, you get a big
brother or a big sister right.
Sorority life is not for Muffy,sorority life is not for 50% of
the kids or fraternity life.
But I still think that havingsomebody who's been assigned to
you so you don't have to go findthem, you don't feel like
(27:17):
you're bothering them by askingthem to do this for you, like
they volunteered to do this, Ithink this would really be
helpful.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
In addition to all that, in addition to an RA, they
should have hallwaygrandmothers.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Oh God, could you imagine so great too, because,
like they could make sourdoughbread with you and teach you how
to crochet.
I love this idea.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
There are so many retirees who are up for, you
know, helping out, want to dosomething.
This is the perfect situation.
I'm not saying necessarily theyneed to live on campus.
I don't know how that wouldwork.
You know you have students outin the hallway at 1.30 in the
morning and grandma comes outwithout her teeth, shaking her
cane, saying you know, you needto be quiet, I need to get my
rest, but you know, you need tobe quiet, I need to get my rest,
(28:05):
but hallway grandmas would beso delightful now.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Would you have hallway grandmas on the boys
side too?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
yes, to keep them in line, not grandpas no, no, no,
no, no, no because the grant.
Listen, I'm going to be one ofthose real soon and I'm not
going to want to mess withanybody.
I will be out there, no teeth,with my cane saying you know,
get off my lawn yeah nope,grandmas, that's what you want.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
You want hallway grandmas I think this is a great
idea okay, my next thingphysical safety yes, yes
especially, you know, going outat night, being out all hours of
the night.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
They're gonna do what they're gonna do, right and you
just gotta that they're goingto make the right decisions and
they're not going to putthemselves in a dangerous
situation.
However, some situations areunavoidable.
I think we need to have somesort of personal protection
system that can either betriggered by the student or
automatically be triggered whencertain conditions are met.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Okay, we do have a personal protection thing for
muffy.
It's uh, it's called a birdiealarm.
That, um, I had bought her whenshe first started going to the
community college for her dualenrollment and I just reminded
her of it and she's got to putit on her keychain.
But you pull it and it makesthis ear pain bleeding, bleeding
(29:21):
, high-pitched alarm that willjust go off and off and off.
Now they make them where itwill also call 911 for you but
you have to have a monthlysubscription for it and we don't
have that.
But she does have a personalalarm.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
That's great.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Not what I'm talking about, though I know I'm just
letting people know that we dohave some sort of responsible
parenting happening.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
At the onset of any questionable or dangerous
situation, a giant hamster ballinflates around the child.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
I love how you got on me about the sorting hat, yet
you somehow think that we'regoing to be able to Danny DeVito
is going to be able to createthe technology that this child
carries around a hamster ballthat then inflates with them.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Listen.
Everything, all the technologyis getting smaller now, right,
listen.
By the way, on this pod on theUnscrewed Up podcast, one of our
early episodes, I suggested apersonal car wash a car wash
that you can get into and itwould scrub you and take care of
you.
They have invented that inJapan.
I saw the newspaper articleyesterday, in fact, and I was so
(30:28):
excited because this means thatwe are the Wilsons.
We are on the bleeding edge ofresearch and technology and
coming up with new ideas.
In fact, I need to contact thiscompany in Japan and make sure
they haven't stolen my idea.
So, personal protection ballsfor for students.
Well, we'll come up with adifferent name, but the idea is
(30:50):
just like a cod piece thatinflates.
No, the idea is unwantedadvances a thing of the past as
soon as things get creepy, abutton is pressed, the hamster
ball inflates very quickly andthe person goes shooting onto
the side and your child isprotected.
They get themselves into asituation where they've gone to
a party and maybe they've hadbeverages that they shouldn't
(31:10):
have which is going to happenbut you want them just to be
safe.
Imagine like you're in yourdorm, it's 1 am in the morning,
your roommate's not there.
You know that there was a party.
You look out the window on thequad and rolling around gently
in the moonlight are dozens ofhamster balls filled with
(31:33):
students who may or may not beconscious, but they are safe,
they're safe.
And this is what I'm going forhere Personal protection in the
way of giant inflatable hamsterballs.
Put it down.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
All right, I like it.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
All right, what's your next thing?
So?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
my next thing is also about the transition and having
a hard time and missing home orfeeling like you don't know
anybody or you don't have anyfriends.
My suggestion is you know howin?
I don't know if you've seenthis, but in airports they have
emotional support dogs forpeople who are afraid of flying.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
So they can just go and sit and pet the dog.
Yeah, I think that we needemotional support animals
available on move-in day, likethey have in the airports, for
both kids and parents.
Right, it's hard on parents,it's hard on the kids.
Every floor dogs are not yourthing, then get an emotional
(32:29):
support capybara.
I don't know Whatever it isthat people would want to hang
out with and pet and love.
Now I will say Muffy's RA has akitten and it must be an
emotional support cat because Idon't know how it's being
allowed in the dorm and don't gotell anybody because I love it,
so don't go report it.
And the RA has said anytime youneed, just text me.
(32:50):
She loves cuddles and that'sgreat, but it wasn't there on
move-in day.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
So we need a move-in day support animal.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Okay, all right, I'm down with that.
And that actually ties into mynext idea, a little bit
Communicating with your child.
It's all well and good that wehave all this technology to
connect with our children, butif they don't answer back your
text, then what's the point?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Right.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
I think that we need to utilize good, old-fashioned
animals to help us with thissituation.
Back in World War II, they useddogs to carry messages from
trench to trench.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Like St Bernard's with their barrels.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
No, no, that's delivering alcohol from peak to
peak.
No, they would have these dogsand they're very dependable and
they knew what they were doing.
They would go back and forthtaking messages from the
colonels to the generals, to thecaptains, to the privates, to
the generals, to the captains,to the privates.
And that's really such a greatsystem, because the dog is going
to go, the dog is going to findyour child and the dog is going
(33:55):
to bark until your child readsthe message.
that's around the dog's neck andthen takes the little pen
that's there and responds to itand sends the dog on its way.
If we know anything about dogs,it's that they want to
accomplish their mission.
They want to please you.
Your kid is not getting awayfrom this dog.
Your kid is going to answeryour message because this dog is
(34:16):
going to come, run from home,get the, deliver your message.
Get the message and run backhome okay, perfect this right.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
except for what about kids who go, like, on opposite
coast of the country or, youknow, nine away, even two hours
away?
This dog is not going to rundown the interstate.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Well then, maybe what needs to happen is that we need
to have a dog communicationannex office at each university.
Right, you give your, you sendyour message to this annex
office, the person thereattaches the message to the dog,
and then that dog goes out andfinds your kid on the campus and
then comes back.
That's even better, actually,because I would do that rather
(34:56):
than have the dog run to and froeven across town, but using
dogs that are actual creaturesthat you cannot snooze or that
you cannot turn off to delivermessages and to get messages
back Perfect messaging system.
I don't trust pigeons becausethey could hit a tower or
whatever and they messages.
And to get messages backperfect messaging system.
I don't trust pigeons becauseyou know they could hit a tower
or or whatever and they'reshifty.
Anyway they got their.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
I was gonna suggest carrier pigeons, but you clearly
already thought about this no,the dog communication annex
office on each college campus.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
There you go, I've morphed my idea into I like it
is that your last one it is allright.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
well, I've got one last, and this just has to do
with just the day of and all ofthe stress that's going along
with it.
And you know we were in theroom, we were moving things
around and the roommate, youknow she left because nobody
wants to be in the middle of allthat.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Well, it's not enough room for all of us.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
And you kept taking the trash out back and forth.
If anything they could do tolighten the load for me, catered
lunch, it's not hard, set it upin the common space and then,
because you know they have the,the hallways that go one way and
the other it's like the boyshall in this way and the girls
hall this way, and then they'vegot like a kitchen, like common
area, just catered lunch.
I work for this university.
I know all of the things thatcan cater for them.
(36:08):
We pay you enough money inhousing fees.
Just cater the damn lunch onmove-in day.
That's all Because we were left.
We had not eaten.
Our appointment was at nine inthe morning.
We left home at 8.30.
Now I had made pancakes for thekids because you took Winthrop
to school and Muffy ate thepancakes.
(36:29):
I didn't eat.
I don't know if you ate.
And then we were done at like2.30 and I had not eaten and I
was uber grumpy and hungry.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Yes, you were.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Catered lunch.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
I feel like most things in society would be much
better if there was a cateredlunch.
Okay, so shall I read back allof our things and then we take
it in turns to pick one that welike until we get five.
Okay, so this is what we haveby way of reminder personal
staff for an hour after move-inpop-up mechanism on your bed
(37:02):
that will shoot you out of yourbed so you you can set your bed
schedule.
A roommate finder in lieu of asorting hat, like assessments,
like INTP and all that stuff.
Student cam I'm going to goahead and scratch that one out
because that one sounds prettycreepy and it's not meant to.
So no more penguin cam idea.
I'm getting rid of that one.
Dorm grandmother.
(37:23):
A move-in buddy, a gianthamster ball protection system.
Emotional support animals,trench dogs to deliver messages
and catered lunch.
Wowzers Okay, you get to pickone.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
My first one is personal staff for an hour,
because I think that takes a lotof stress off of.
Like you're already stressed,the emotions are already running
high and you don't want to befighting with each other over
like where this bed's gonna getlofted to and where how to make
that thing stick to the wallyeah, yeah, okay, very good.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Um, my thing, I think , is I'm gonna go for the dorm,
grandmother I love this ideabecause that takes you not even
through the first week.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
It takes you through the entire semester and
grandmother needs to have allthe parents' phone numbers.
Can you imagine the lift of thestress off of the parents?
Because you know, when I usedto take Muffy to stay with my
mom I didn't worry as much,right, because I knew my mom had
it Like I was, like you know,when I would travel and she
(38:29):
would Muffy Weep by my mom.
Mom's going to call me ifsomething's wrong, like, and
your child may not necessarilycall you, but dorm grandma going
to call you.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
I'm going to make this even more specific the dorm
grandma has to be a Cuban mamafrom Hialeah.
I'm from Miami, yeah, and ifthere's anything, I know that
throughout Hialeah they do nothave crime watch.
They have, like the team ofabuelas that can find out all of
the information, right?
So I'm going to say Cubangrandma, dorm grandma.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Do Cuban grandmas also throw their sandals at you,
the chicleta?
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Chancleta, chancleta, do they do that?
Yeah, yeah, that's all I needIf you're bad.
Yes, that's for the boys' hall.
All right, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I don't think it's realistic, but I think that the
personal protection bubble wouldbring me a lot of comfort as
well.
It's up to Danny DeVito tofigure out how to do it, but
that's my next one.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
I think the hamster ball also, as soon as it's
activated like a camera, goes onthat you can know what's
happening.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Can we just have it call the police, or like the
non-emergency number orsomething?
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Well, yeah, but don't you want to know as well?
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Yeah, Well, I mean the university already has an
alert system where I get textmessages all the time in the
middle of the night whensomebody's bike is stolen.
So they can just integrate thisinto the text message, but just
send it to me.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
I'm going to, for my thing, this into the text
message, but just send it to me.
I'm going to, for my thing.
I'm going to combine two of theideas to make one idea.
We have emotional support dogand these trench communication
dogs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Double, duty Same dogs, samedogs.
Yeah, yes, but it's importantfor me to be able to reach my
kid, and I feel like the onlyway I can be assured to reach my
kid is if there's a dog huntinghim down I mean they're
(40:11):
trackers.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Right, we got to get the ones that are trackers.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
No, I think they are all trackers.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Yeah not sure that um the podcast pup here would be
able to do this, because he'dget distracted by something and
then gone he's useless.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
All right, what's your last?
This is the last one.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
You get the last pick all right, I gotta pull the
list back up, though.
So well, you I?
I was going to say emotionalsupport dogs, but you've already
done that.
Um, all right, catered lunch.
Just feed me, Diana DeVito.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Catered lunch.
This, now, is what a collegemove in is going to look like
this.
These are the suggestions thatwe are forwarding on personal
staff uh, for an hour to meetand set up and apparently you
want them to be somehowaffiliated with Queer Eye, fine
Dorm Abuela, getting all the teaand handing out all of the
(40:57):
advice, but also hitting peoplewith sandals, dogs available for
emotional support, but also totrack your kids down, the
personal protective device, agiant inflatable hamster ball
and, of course, catered lunch.
So I would say that for thistopic, it is Unscrewed.
(41:23):
All right, Amanda, that's allthere is.
There is no more.
What did you think about usreturning to the Unscrew it Up
format?
Speaker 2 (41:29):
I really enjoyed that .
Let us know, dear listener, ifyou enjoyed that and if that's a
thing that you want to seerevisited throughout this little
podcast that we're doing here,called Super Familiar with the
Wilsons.
You can email us atfamiliarwilsons at gmailcom.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
All right.
Well, we would like to thankthe whole list of people that we
usually thank.
I don't have the list in frontof me and I don't want to you.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
all know them.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
I don't want to try to say it from memory, because
I'll leave someone out.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Let me do this.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Joey, yes, thank you.
Until next week, take it easyand hold your loved ones close.
Treasure each and every hour,every day that you get to spend
with them.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
And go be kind.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Bye, bye, bye, thank you.
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