July 13, 2025 • 32 mins
In this episode of Super Familiar with the Wilsons, married podcasters Josh and Amanda dive into the real (and ridiculous) world of modern marriage, perimenopause, and parenting chaos. Amanda battles hot flashes and podcasts without pants. Plus: when is it appropriate to sprinkle parmesan on the dog, Josh has a deep concern about eating bugs, and a Flashbacks Quiz.
Along the way, they explore who the real “main character” of their family is, reveal confessions from the internet’s Fesshole, and deliver hard truths about healthcare, condiments, and childhood sleep music trauma. It’s a comedy podcast for anyone navigating second marriages, second chances, and second helpings of sausage balls.
Perfect for fans of: marriage podcasts, parenting humor, midlife meltdowns, and people who secretly worry about eating grubs in salads.
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
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Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the
story.
You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.
The following podcast useswords like and and also If
you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.
Three, two, one run.
(00:21):
I'm Super Fam with the Wilsons.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Get it Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.
I'm Amanda.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
And I'm Josh.
This is the podcast aboutmarriage 2.0 with kids and all
the side quests.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Josh, somebody has said to us that the way I've
been grumping at you, it soundslike maybe we're on the way to
3.0.
So I want to just let everybodyknow that I do love you and
even though I get on you becauseperimenopause has settled in
and I have no patience foranything anymore, ever again I
do love you.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
This sounds like the video that an influencer has to
release after some sort ofcontroversy.
Hi, yes, well, chicken Tom didmention to us that very thing.
He's like wow, amanda's getting.
What did he say?
Spicy, spicy, amanda's gettingreally spicy.
(01:20):
I will say this, though I don'tthink that we're going to
revisit this bit that we triedlast week sharing our beefs at
each other yes, first of all, Ihate that turn of phrase what
beef?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
it's just, it sounds like just.
I don't like it sounds dirty no, it's not dirty in like a dirty
way, but just like a beef, likeit's dumb, like where's the
beef.
Like it's not a Like it's dumb,like where's the beef.
Like it's not a thing.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
It's dumb.
I don't like it.
Okay, so this is why we don'tneed to have a separate segment,
because stuff's just going tocome out.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Listen, I am sitting here podcasting without pants on
because, though, our airconditioner is set to 72,
internally I'm about 104.
I have been having full-blownhot flashes like for days.
You know how it feels when youdrink a lot of alcohol and then
you start to sweat and feel likejust bad.
(02:11):
Yeah that's how I feel, butwithout any of the fun of a buzz
or anything like that noalcohol, just all of the
sweating and the heating fromthe inside.
And our friend Jeff sent me areal on Instagram yesterday of
and he just said tell me you'rein perimenopause without telling
me you're in perimenopause.
And it was just a woman who, inthe middle of doing a cooking
(02:32):
video, could not rememberketchup and mustard and she
stopped saying custard and matchup and custard and she couldn't
like.
It was her whole thoughtprocess of like, match up, match
up, like she had to go to therefrigerator and pull it out.
So, yeah, that's a real thing,friends.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I guarantee you that there's going to be a product
pretty soon that is calledmatchup, that is, ketchup mixed
with mustard, because this iswhat people do now.
Like what is it?
It's ketchup with mayonnaise.
Right Is a thing.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
What's that called?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Okay, very good, well done.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
That could be matchup too.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Oh, it could, but it's not.
It's got another name and Ilike ketchup and mustard on my
hamburgers.
It tastes good.
Now, I don't know if it wouldtaste good together.
Didn't they do a thing oncewhere it was peanut butter and
jelly together?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
In a jar and it was like striped.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Oh, was that what it was.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was like Goobers or something
was the brand.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
But they didn't take care to mix it.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
No, I think that that would be the fail.
It was like you used a pipingbag and you did like a line of
peanut butter and a line ofjelly, and just continue to do
that around the jar.
Remember when we were talkingabout perimenopause, and now
you've turned it about how youlike certain condiments.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
So I want you to notice that there are certain
strategies it's calleddiversionary tactics.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Why are you holding one of my crochet hooks?
What are you going?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
to do, just to keep me safe that you have to develop
as a husband of a small crankyIrish woman.
You have to develop thesedefense mechanisms, and one of
them is the oh look over there,which is what I just did, which
worked until it worked for likea little bit and then I
remembered that it was supposedto be about.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
You know what else I'm annoyed about?
This is how we're going tostart the show now.
Um, there are all these women'shealth services, right like so
you'll see on social media likeoh, midi Health is like a women.
A comprehensive women's healthprogram takes insurances and
whatever, not a sponsor.
And I go and I'm like, oh great,it's, our insurance is on there
(04:34):
and it's listed and it wantsyou to put and it's specific to
perimenopause and menopause.
I'm like this is great, they'regoing to understand me and I
put in, and you put in yourinsurance card and it comes back
.
You're out of network.
Mother, like I, just if thiswas a problem for men, it'd be
free.
You know that right, like wewould have solved it.
(04:55):
Nobody would have hot flashesand all the care would be free.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Let me tell you something.
I figured out that our healthcare system here in the United
States can't speak for anywhereelse.
But our health care system herein the united states can't
speak for anywhere else.
But our health care system inthe united states promises so
much like buying a new phone butthen discovering that you have
at&t as your network.
Yes, dropped call here, dropcall dead zones there.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, that's what it is.
That's our health insurance,though no insurance, no I mean,
listen, we could get real dark,real fast, but we did that last
week, so I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
So I do have a question for you who do you
think the main character of thisfamily is?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
The freaking dog.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
No, no, the dog is not.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yes, he is because he controls everything that we do.
You know that right, becauseright now we're having to stop
recording every three minutesbecause he's making some sort of
noise.
He has centered himself solelyin the middle of, at least when
we podcast.
Okay, who do you think it is?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I don't know.
I know that I'm not the maincharacter of this family.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Okay that I know Are you sad about that.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I think that I prefer that.
I don't like being the maincharacter, particularly if it's
like out of my control.
I like particularly if it'slike out of my control.
Okay, I like kind of sitting inthe background observing and
watching and pitching in orwhatever, but I don't mind doing
this.
Yeah, podcasting, because, like, we're in control of this and
if something is said I don'tlike, then shit, I'll edit that
out and that's fine.
(06:17):
So I'm definitely not the maincharacter, I think.
Well, what do you think?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
because I think it's winthrop oh, you think it's
Winthrop.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Oh, you think it's Winthrop, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I do Only because he stands in front of the TV.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
You're going for a very literal interpretation of
this question.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
He does not seem to understand that the people
cannot see through him.
My mom, do you have a sayingfor that?
Like when you stand in front ofsomebody and they can't see
through you?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah, you make a better door than a window.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Oh, my mom would always say.
What did she say?
Like either have you beendrinking muddy water or your
daddy wasn't a glass maker.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Well, I don't get the drinking muddy water.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Because then you can't see through them, Like
it's like a glass with muddywater.
I'm telling you these withmuddy water, I'm telling you.
These are the things that I wasraised with.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You people in the South man, I know you don't know
how to talk is the bottom line.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
You are from the South, friend.
No, I'm from.
Miami that is it's Southernmore than here.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah, but it's Northern more than here as well.
Okay, anyway, yes, and thenwe'll be in a room start talking
if he stops talking for, like,I don't know and I've got to
have this internal timer in myhead how long after he has
stopped talking am I allowed totalk?
maybe he is the main character,because I gotta make
(07:33):
considerations about when I'mallowed to talk.
I'm a 50 freaking, some oddyear old ass man and I gotta, I
gotta, wait on this little tinycreature to have permission to
talk.
That's like an essential humanright just to be able to talk,
freedom of speech.
And I don't even have that,right, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Well, we've solved this now.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Maybe he is, yeah, the whole standing in front of
the TV thing.
I think he does know that he'sdoing it and he's just doing it
to get attention.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I don't think so.
I think he gets distracted bywhat's on the TV and then
doesn't think about it, becauseas soon as you say his name he
moves over.
I just think he's not like.
He's just still being a littlebit like egocentric, which is
developmentally totally normalor typical for kids as they're
growing up.
But he is now at the age wherehe should start to develop this
awareness of where he is inspace and time and I don't know
(08:24):
that that he cares so much rightnow.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Were you the main character in your family growing
up.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yes, maybe because I was the youngest and I was my
mom's only girl.
I mean, my dad had a daughter,my half sister, and my mom had
two boys, but I was the youngest, significantly by 14 to 18
years.
So nobody really lived with usuntil my nephew was born.
So maybe that way.
But then also, you know, I Ihad a very, you know sick
(08:50):
brother and we were in and outof the hospital a lot and so I
really it wasn't there wereother priorities than than me at
that time.
So my brother probably wouldtell you that I thought that I
was, but I don't think that Iwas.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Oh, I have no doubt that you thought that you were
yeah but I don't think I was.
I feel like that might begenetic.
Okay, fair enough.
Who's the main character inyour family listeners?
Is it the youngest child?
Let us know.
Familiarwilsons at gmailcom.
It's time for some Fessholes.
(09:38):
These are anonymous confessionsonline from an account called
Fesshole.
Here we go.
Tell me what you think aboutthis one.
When I was younger, I watchedan episode of the Simpsons where
Homer ate a bunch of tulips.
The scene made them look sotasty, so you can guess where
this is going.
I took one out of my neighbor'sgarden and bit the head off of
(09:58):
it.
It tasted disgusting and had anearwig inside.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Gross.
But also, why was Homer Simpsoneating tulips that had an
earwig inside?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Gross, but also, why was Homer Simpson eating tulips?
That's your question.
For this.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Well, I'll say why is Homer Simpson our role model?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Well, why would you look at a cartoon tulip and
think that that made regulartulips appetizing?
But also, have you ever eaten abug?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Not intentionally.
I mean, if I swallowed one, Idon't you know, like they say,
that you swallow something likehundreds of bugs and spiders in
your lifetime while you'resleeping.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I think that that is a subconscious fear that I have
baseline throughout all of mylife is swallowing a bug or
eating a fly.
I am currently growing a sprigof spring onions.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Not a sprig friend, it's taken over.
You have a forest of springonions coming out of that
planter right now.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Which, by the way, super easy to do.
I kind of discovered byaccident that, oh, these spring
onions, they don't go off asquickly as the other veg goes
off in the fridge, it's becausethe roots are still on.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I was going to say they come with their own roots.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm like what would happenif I planted these.
So what I did is I took twobunches or three bunches that
were going to go bad.
And I said okay, whatever, I'mgoing to stick them in this
planter.
And they are just gangbusters.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yeah, I had already planted wildflower seeds in that
planter.
Oh, did you really?
Speaker 1 (11:13):
That'll be fun.
So, anyway, they're growing.
It's like a house of fire thesethings, and so I'll go out and
I'll cut the tops off them andput them in a salad or put them
in whatever.
But when you cut the pointedend tops off them, all of a
sudden it's just like a tube.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
And I was thinking this morning oh shit, like bugs
can crawl in that tube.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
And then I cut them off and I eat the bugs and I
haven't been considering that.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Do you not wash them?
I wash them but I don't likerun water through the straw.
Yeah, okay fair enough.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I've told the story about eating a double whopper on
the highway and biting intosomething that tasted A roach.
I don't know if it was a roach,I felt like it was a grub.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Okay, Because it was soft and it burst in my mouth.
Nope, nope, nope, nope.
We're all done with that story.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
So I have just this genuine background fear of two
things in my life eating a bugand snakes.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Yeah, oh, remember all the snakes we saw on St
Augustine last week, like wejust walked past a guy with like
five snakes on the street.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
That's so stupid.
Why would you do that?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I think he was wanting people to pay him money
to take pictures with the snakes.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
No, get out of here with that, did you?
Speaker 2 (12:19):
see them as you were walking up to them.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Yeah, I did, I did and I walked around them.
You didn't see me.
No, I hate that.
No, that's the worst.
Let's talk about something else.
Awful, I'm not yes-handingsnakes.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Let's talk about you consuming a grub.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Next, A customer left a really nice leather jacket in
my pub.
Made no effort to see if it wasin lost property.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I was to the window, the teller gave me funny looks
and commented on my jacket andhow he used to have one.
I smiled and walked out.
He knew.
Well then, joker, come, come,get your jacket.
Well, how do you know?
Did it have his nameembroidered on it?
How did he know it was exactlyhis?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I mean, it could have been a very particular like a
custom-made thing, yeah allright.
What would you have done?
Would you have just said giveme my jacket, give me my jacket.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I mean, it's interesting, I had one and I
couldn't find it.
Where did you get that?
Oh yeah, no, I think that'smine.
And then how do you prove it?
Yeah I don't know, you don'tknow yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Next, whenever I'm grating parmesan on my dinner, I
grate it all over the dog aswell, like it's raining cheese.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
He absolutely fucking loves it you should try that
with our dog, but also, forwhatever reason, wait wait, wait
.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Can you imagine like you've seen those slow motion
commercials of people running inthe rain?
Now substitute a dog andparmesan cheese.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
The dog already smells like Fritos, I don't need
to have him smell like funkycheese too.
But honestly, when you saidwhenever I grate Parmesan cheese
on my, and then you said dinner, I really thought you were
going to say a different D word,like it went totally somewhere
else in my head, somewhere elsein my head that gives whole new
(14:02):
meaning to the term dick cheese.
I know right.
You know how, when you can geta whole narrative in your head
in a split second, there was awhole story behind that.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
No, I don't know.
I just pictured him standing inthe kitchen with it out and
then the grater above it, andjust like, and then like okay,
first of all it would be in thekitchen.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I'd be like in the closet or in the bathroom or
something with shame.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
This is like a fetish that I would not want somebody
would have to consume it.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
He's not able to reach it well, also, I am not
having a cheese grater anywherenear that's fair enough.
I mean industrial accidentshappen, my friend.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I mean, have you ever zipped it up with a zipper?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I have not.
First of all, it's not that youzip it up, it's that you catch
a little sack happening.
I know no I have not, because Iwear underwear.
That's what underwear is for.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
It's a shield against that kind of accident.
Could you imagine how muchworse a grater would be?
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yes, I can imagine it and I'm literally inside.
I'm just imploding justthinking about it.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
All right, move on to your next fess hole.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Last one I was nervous about doing a
presentation at work, so I wentto the pub at lunch and had a
few pints to calm the nerves.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Not a good idea.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
I then smashed the presentation.
I was confident and funny.
Problem is I've been asked torepeat it for all of our
branches and I'm concerned I'llturn into an alcoholic Friend.
I think you're already analcoholic.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
If you're leaving work in the afternoon to go and
do this, you might be.
So you know my work does yourwork have?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
a policy about drinking during work hours.
You know what?
I've never had to look this up,but yes, I assume that they do,
because I think most of them do.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
So my work has one, and it's not that you can't
drink like at lunch, it's thatyou cannot return to work
inebriated.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Well, how are they testing that Right?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So so, then it's like you got to know your own limit.
I've never done it, I've never,ever done it like.
But the thing is, I guess, likewhen you go out for a work
lunch or with visiting people orwhatever that it's.
So it's not not allowed, it'sjust you can't return see I
would.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I have never in my adult life done that.
I would be scared to death todo that, even if there wasn't a
policy.
I'm so fricking uptight andstitched up.
I would be mortified to thinkthat I might say something
inappropriate.
Hell, I wander around even now,afraid that I'm just gonna let
(16:32):
slip with a curse word at workand you're stone cold sober.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
It's in my everyday parlance curse word at work and
you're stone cold sober.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
It's in my everyday parlance, not at work, right,
but I can't be saying it infront of the people that I serve
, and so that would be, thatwould be a big issue so that's
one of the things when you'reteaching right is that you can't
like.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Obviously you cannot use curse words in front of in
front of children or students ifthey're older, um, but it would
amaze me the people that Itaught with their ability to
like code switch, because theywould be happy kindergarten
teacher and then walk into theteacher's office and then like,
curse like a sailor and turnaround and walk back out and
(17:09):
switch back.
So it's definitely a um, askill set but you weren't like
that, or you were I didn'treally curse very much until you
and I got married.
And I was only teaching for likethree, two years when you and I
got married and then I went outof the classroom.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah, there you go, All right.
Well, that was our festivals.
Let's skip merrily along toemails.
We asked last week what do youdo to keep your children
occupied when you travel?
And Josh Scar got in touch andhe said that they just bought a
van.
(17:44):
It doesn't say just.
It says they bought a van withthe DVD player to keep the
kiddos occupied and as quiet aspossible on road trips.
We made the 18-hour drive fromRockford to upstate New York
several times in this van andit's been a lifesaver.
We had that for a while.
We had the portable DVD players.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
right when Muffy was little like maybe two we would
drive to my mom's frequently atMarriage 1.0, and my mom lived
two hours away, so it's fourhours back and forth in the car.
We had little DVD players andshe was super into Barney, which
I tried very hard to notintroduce to her.
My mom did and she loved itwith her whole heart.
(18:24):
And we went and we only had oneDVD and it was a Barney DVD.
We got stuck in traffic and satthere for like five hours just
because of like the road wasclosed and it was really bad and
we watched that damn Barneyvideo so many times to where she
started saying no and cryingwhen we put it on.
So please, please, make sureyou have, if you're going to use
(18:46):
the DVD player option, makesure you have plenty of DVDs but
Muffy, growing up, though,really loved and took comfort in
repetitive things.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Well, I mean, that's an anxiety coping skill, right?
So, like the nighttime music,every single night, every single
night, the same damn songs hadto be on, and I grew to hate
Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
What a Wonderful World somewhere over the rainbow
.
Mashup by brother is yeah,something like that, yeah oh, my
god, I can't.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I have like, because it was just on repeat, like it
wasn't, like it was other songson the way there was, also,
wasn't there the nat?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
king cole christmas album yes, oh you can't listen
to chestnuts roasting on an openfire and that used to be my
favorite christmas song no, nobut it is a thing.
That's why, like I fall asleeplistening to friends every night
, there is something.
I mean, there's studies aboutit, how um familiar, familiar
text, or familiar um medianconsumption, um, is most
(19:49):
definitely um an anxietymanifestation.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
That helps you control it because you know
what's coming.
Yes, but you had like what?
Seven or nine seasons?
Of 10 seasons of Friends tochoose from instead of just one
song.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
It worked.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
It worked until it didn't Remember.
Just one day she was just likeI don't wanna hear this song
anymore.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
She can't listen to it now.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
If you would like to reach out to us and let us know
any little thing.
Familiarwilsons at gmailcom.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
All right, we have not done a flashbacks in a while
.
So for those of you who are new, flashbacks is a quiz from the
New York Times where they giveyou eight historical events and
you have to put them inchronological order or put them
correctly on the timeline.
So this week's flashbacks we'regoing to do one anchoring event
and then you have to decide ifthese other ones come before or
(20:56):
after.
Josh makes it a little bitharder for himself because he
tries to guess the actual year.
All right, your first one, josh, is.
Robert Cornelius takes one ofthe first photos of a human.
It's of himself making it thefirst selfie.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Oh, that's cute.
So that's definitely in the1800s, so 1890.
1839.
Okay so 1839 is our startingpoint.
Robert Cornelius, the firstselfie Did he do?
Duck lips?
Maybe All right, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Steven Spielberg wants a complex musical score
for the film Jaws.
The composer John Williamspicks a simpler two-note theme.
Can you do it?
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Dun-dun.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Yep, so Jaws, I would say obviously it's after the
first selfie, I'm gonna sayaround 1979.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
1975, the year of my birth, oh very good.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
So 1975 was Jaws Yep.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Jaws was the number one film when I was born, or
something like that.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
How appropriate.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Good.
So 1975 jaws was the number onefilm when I was born, or
something like that.
How appropriate, yes you'reawesome.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Prohibition begins.
I think that should be yourtheme song.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Now you imagine you should make it for me when, like
when I start like yelling aboutmenopause, perimenopause, you
can just have like the littletheme song I just want you, when
you're starting to come I'mlaying in the bed or whatever.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
You're starting to come upstairs, just put that on
your phone so that I hear thatfirst.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
The high football team in high school.
They were not good.
Right Like football was not oursport.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
They always came onto the field to the Imperial March
and it was the most ridiculousthing because, like they thought
they were so good and they wereso bad.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I feel like at some point it should be compulsory to
change your walk-on musicdepending on how good you or
your team is.
So at some point during thatseason they should have just
chucked it and gone for theBenny Hill theme.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Right, okay, prohibition begins.
Patients can still buy alcoholwith a doctor's prescription, so
whiskey is suddenly used totreat asthma, cancer and simply
old age amen, all right, we'regonna say 1920 prohibition
begins 1920 exactly bam.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Excellent, not excellent.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Terrible idea, go ahead ruby bridges, age six,
integrates a public school innew or the staff refuses to work
with her, except for oneteacher who shows up every day
for a year.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
I'm letting myself down here.
Well, clearly it's after 1920and before 1975.
So I'm going to say 1968.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
1960.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Oh, 1960.
Okay, Sorry folks, I let youdown, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
All right.
South Africa becomes the firstcountry to voluntarily give up
all of its nuclear weapons afterdeveloping them.
It's also the only country toever do so.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Oh wow, Nelson.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Mandela led that too.
Okay, at least by this pictureI see of him holding his hand up
with some white dude.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Okay, so we're going to say that that was like in
1985, okay after jaws 1990 goodon them.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah, love that story work starts on the hoover dam
amid the depression.
Board workers need to have funtoo, so las vegas expands its
newly legal casino industry allright.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
So we're gonna say between 1920 and 1960.
So we're gonna say 1924 1931still six, six or six so far,
sir this is where I get screwedup, because you tell me how good
I'm doing and then I fuck itfor the rest of the time so go
ahead at the saint lewis world'sfair earnest what like I know
(24:37):
that at all, go ahead where theworld's fair in other countries
are just here.
I've only ever heard about thembeing in america I don't know,
but I mean that would be soappropriate if we thought we
were the center of the world,where, I mean, we already do the
world champions of football andthe world champions of
basketball.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Not, but whatever.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
All right.
At the St Louis World Fair,ernest Hamwi, h-a-m-w-i, sells
Persian waffles.
He folds one to hold a dessertfrom a nearby booth popularizing
the ice cream cone.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Oh, okay.
Well, that's going to be inbetween 1839 and 1920.
So I'm going to say 1906.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
1904.
Jeez bam All right, two moreyou ready.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Ice cream cone invented.
I'm writing these down so Inever forget these facts ever in
my life.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Okay, william Morrison builds the first
successful electric cars inAmerica.
Meanwhile, president BenjaminHarrison brings electricity to
the White House.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Wait what.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
William Morrison builds the first successful
electric car.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
But you're saying that electric cars were way back
then Way before Elon.
I thought that Elon invented orstole the invention of Right.
All right.
So electric cars, geez, geez Ihave no freaking idea.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Well, when was benjamin harrison president?
Because I also don't know that.
That's helpful um, that's.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
This is gonna suck because this is all like we're
all clustered between 1839 andlike 1960.
We got all these things closetogether.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, usually we do like some BCEs and stuff.
None of those.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
All right, so I'm going to say 1850.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
1891, you're still correct on your timeline.
All right, last one ready.
Can you go for a clean sweep?
Go ahead massachusetts becomesthe first state to require
smallpox vaccines for thegeneral public amid opposition.
It's later one of the first torepeal its mandate.
Cool guys, go get your vaccinesoh god, see, I'm screwed here.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I'm screwed, I don't know, dude.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Let me show you the picture of the doctor giving the
kid the vaccine.
That might help you All right,go ahead.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Is it in color or black and white?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
It's an illustration.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Well, that's not at all helpful it looks like Thomas
Jefferson-ish.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I realize it's later than that, though Probably.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
All right, I'm going to say I I don't know why 1916
popped into my head, but 1916.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
So between the World's Fair and Prohibition.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yep, ah, 18.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
So seven out of eight Good job.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Yep, and so along with this usually comes little
explanations as to why theypicked these particular
questions.
So what facts can you lay on us?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Electric vehicles died a century ago.
Why?
Battery-operated vehicles werea mainstay more than 100 years
ago, but only a few still exist.
One happens to be in Jay Leno'sgarage.
Okay, but why?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Wait, they were a mainstay.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah, more than a century before Tesla rolled out
its first cars, the BakerElectric Coupe and the Riker
electric roadster rumbled onamerican streets.
Battery-powered cars were sopopular that for a time, about a
third of new york taxis wereelectric.
But those early electricvehicles began to lose ground to
a new class of cars, like theford model t, that were cheaper
and could be more easilyrefueled by a new oil-based fuel
(28:03):
.
There you go, bolstered byfederal tax incentives.
In the 1920s, the oil industryboomed and so did gasoline
powered cars, and it killed theenvironment.
Yeah, all right.
What else?
Maybe something about peopletaking selfies are causing
headaches for europe's museums?
Got it?
Um oh.
Ton of 10 of the world's mostalluring speakeasies.
(28:24):
I've only been to one speakeasyand it was insane.
Have you ever been to aspeakeasy?
Speaker 1 (28:29):
I don't think have you ever been to a speakeasy?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I don't think so.
We should do that.
I did that in Austin when I wasfor a work trip.
It was crazy.
Las Vegas casinos are now sunpowered.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Okay, very good, thank you.
No one likes to be told what todo, and now is the time in the
to do, amanda.
What should we do?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
okay.
So muffie brought this show tous and she said she had heard
about it.
We started watching this showcalled jury duty.
It was made in 2023.
Um, I think it's on amazonprime.
But it's this show whereeverybody involved are actors,
except the one, the one guyright, and he it's kind of like
the truman show, but for reallife, and he's on a jury.
(29:08):
And I know it's hard for you,josh, because you feel for real
life and he's on a jury, and Iknow it's hard for you, josh,
because you feel really bad forthe guy.
I think it turned out fine forhim.
He got a TV deal or somethingout of it.
I think he's okay.
He's a really nice guy too,which is like, how did they
guarantee that this guy wasn'tgoing to just be a complete
asshole?
But anyway, it's funny.
It's like the office with theway they do, like the uh,
documentary style.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
But anyway, if you're interested, go check out jury
duty on amazon prime I just feelbad for him because, like he
was the main character, hedidn't know he was and he was
just getting pranked and I'mjust super uncomfortable but you
watched the show I did watchthe show and it had certain
things that were funny.
But in the back of my mind Iwas thinking, if this happened
(29:50):
to me, I would be freaking livid.
I would be so pissed.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Well, he wound up being okay out of it all.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Okay, well, there you go.
What do you recommend?
I don't have anyrecommendations.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
I just saw on your notes sausage ball king.
I had forgotten about that.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Do you?
Speaker 2 (30:09):
want to recommend sausage balls.
Only if you put a little gratedParmesan on your sausage balls,
way to bring it all backtogether.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
All right, Amanda, that's all there is.
There is no more.
What'd you think of that mess?
I mean it's a mess, but it'sour mess and I love you.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Okay, I'm going to keep telling you I love you, so
Tom feels okay about us.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Today's episode has been kindly brought to you by
Matt the executive cheesemonger,leo the master way whisperer,
josh Scar, the head of brineaffairs, antonio the lead rind
sculptor, danny Buckets, ladlelogistics and forklift ballet
Chicken, tom Barnyard Securityand Mood Stabilizer, monique
(30:52):
from Germany, fermentationCulture Ambassador, eu Division
Refined Gay Jeff, SensoryExperience Curator, mark and
Rachel Mold, control and PublicRelations.
And Dan and Gavin theApprentice Cheese Smellers and
Cheese Agers.
Special thanks to the cow namedLouise.
All right, folks.
So until next week, y'all takeit easy and embrace that
(31:15):
background character energy.
It's good just to sit back andwatch things happen.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
And go be kind.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
All right, bye, bye.
(31:58):
No chickens were harmed duringthe production of this episode,
except emotionally.
Thank you.
Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the
story.
You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.
The following podcast useswords like and and also If
you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.
Three, two, one run.
(00:21):
I'm Super Fam with the Wilsons.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Get it Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.
I'm Amanda.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
And I'm Josh.
This is the podcast aboutmarriage 2.0 with kids and all
the side quests.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Josh, somebody has said to us that the way I've
been grumping at you, it soundslike maybe we're on the way to
3.0.
So I want to just let everybodyknow that I do love you and
even though I get on you becauseperimenopause has settled in
and I have no patience foranything anymore, ever again I
do love you.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
This sounds like the video that an influencer has to
release after some sort ofcontroversy.
Hi, yes, well, chicken Tom didmention to us that very thing.
He's like wow, amanda's getting.
What did he say?
Spicy, spicy, amanda's gettingreally spicy.
(01:20):
I will say this, though I don'tthink that we're going to
revisit this bit that we triedlast week sharing our beefs at
each other yes, first of all, Ihate that turn of phrase what
beef?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
it's just, it sounds like just.
I don't like it sounds dirty no, it's not dirty in like a dirty
way, but just like a beef, likeit's dumb, like where's the
beef.
Like it's not a Like it's dumb,like where's the beef.
Like it's not a thing.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
It's dumb.
I don't like it.
Okay, so this is why we don'tneed to have a separate segment,
because stuff's just going tocome out.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Listen, I am sitting here podcasting without pants on
because, though, our airconditioner is set to 72,
internally I'm about 104.
I have been having full-blownhot flashes like for days.
You know how it feels when youdrink a lot of alcohol and then
you start to sweat and feel likejust bad.
(02:11):
Yeah that's how I feel, butwithout any of the fun of a buzz
or anything like that noalcohol, just all of the
sweating and the heating fromthe inside.
And our friend Jeff sent me areal on Instagram yesterday of
and he just said tell me you'rein perimenopause without telling
me you're in perimenopause.
And it was just a woman who, inthe middle of doing a cooking
(02:32):
video, could not rememberketchup and mustard and she
stopped saying custard and matchup and custard and she couldn't
like.
It was her whole thoughtprocess of like, match up, match
up, like she had to go to therefrigerator and pull it out.
So, yeah, that's a real thing,friends.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I guarantee you that there's going to be a product
pretty soon that is calledmatchup, that is, ketchup mixed
with mustard, because this iswhat people do now.
Like what is it?
It's ketchup with mayonnaise.
Right Is a thing.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
What's that called?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Okay, very good, well done.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
That could be matchup too.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Oh, it could, but it's not.
It's got another name and Ilike ketchup and mustard on my
hamburgers.
It tastes good.
Now, I don't know if it wouldtaste good together.
Didn't they do a thing oncewhere it was peanut butter and
jelly together?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
In a jar and it was like striped.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Oh, was that what it was.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was like Goobers or something
was the brand.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
But they didn't take care to mix it.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
No, I think that that would be the fail.
It was like you used a pipingbag and you did like a line of
peanut butter and a line ofjelly, and just continue to do
that around the jar.
Remember when we were talkingabout perimenopause, and now
you've turned it about how youlike certain condiments.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
So I want you to notice that there are certain
strategies it's calleddiversionary tactics.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Why are you holding one of my crochet hooks?
What are you going?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
to do, just to keep me safe that you have to develop
as a husband of a small crankyIrish woman.
You have to develop thesedefense mechanisms, and one of
them is the oh look over there,which is what I just did, which
worked until it worked for likea little bit and then I
remembered that it was supposedto be about.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
You know what else I'm annoyed about?
This is how we're going tostart the show now.
Um, there are all these women'shealth services, right like so
you'll see on social media likeoh, midi Health is like a women.
A comprehensive women's healthprogram takes insurances and
whatever, not a sponsor.
And I go and I'm like, oh great,it's, our insurance is on there
(04:34):
and it's listed and it wantsyou to put and it's specific to
perimenopause and menopause.
I'm like this is great, they'regoing to understand me and I
put in, and you put in yourinsurance card and it comes back
.
You're out of network.
Mother, like I, just if thiswas a problem for men, it'd be
free.
You know that right, like wewould have solved it.
(04:55):
Nobody would have hot flashesand all the care would be free.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Let me tell you something.
I figured out that our healthcare system here in the United
States can't speak for anywhereelse.
But our health care system herein the united states can't
speak for anywhere else.
But our health care system inthe united states promises so
much like buying a new phone butthen discovering that you have
at&t as your network.
Yes, dropped call here, dropcall dead zones there.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, that's what it is.
That's our health insurance,though no insurance, no I mean,
listen, we could get real dark,real fast, but we did that last
week, so I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
So I do have a question for you who do you
think the main character of thisfamily is?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
The freaking dog.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
No, no, the dog is not.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yes, he is because he controls everything that we do.
You know that right, becauseright now we're having to stop
recording every three minutesbecause he's making some sort of
noise.
He has centered himself solelyin the middle of, at least when
we podcast.
Okay, who do you think it is?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I don't know.
I know that I'm not the maincharacter of this family.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Okay that I know Are you sad about that.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I think that I prefer that.
I don't like being the maincharacter, particularly if it's
like out of my control.
I like particularly if it'slike out of my control.
Okay, I like kind of sitting inthe background observing and
watching and pitching in orwhatever, but I don't mind doing
this.
Yeah, podcasting, because, like, we're in control of this and
if something is said I don'tlike, then shit, I'll edit that
out and that's fine.
(06:17):
So I'm definitely not the maincharacter, I think.
Well, what do you think?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
because I think it's winthrop oh, you think it's
Winthrop.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Oh, you think it's Winthrop, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I do Only because he stands in front of the TV.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
You're going for a very literal interpretation of
this question.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
He does not seem to understand that the people
cannot see through him.
My mom, do you have a sayingfor that?
Like when you stand in front ofsomebody and they can't see
through you?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah, you make a better door than a window.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Oh, my mom would always say.
What did she say?
Like either have you beendrinking muddy water or your
daddy wasn't a glass maker.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Well, I don't get the drinking muddy water.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Because then you can't see through them, Like
it's like a glass with muddywater.
I'm telling you these withmuddy water, I'm telling you.
These are the things that I wasraised with.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You people in the South man, I know you don't know
how to talk is the bottom line.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
You are from the South, friend.
No, I'm from.
Miami that is it's Southernmore than here.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah, but it's Northern more than here as well.
Okay, anyway, yes, and thenwe'll be in a room start talking
if he stops talking for, like,I don't know and I've got to
have this internal timer in myhead how long after he has
stopped talking am I allowed totalk?
maybe he is the main character,because I gotta make
(07:33):
considerations about when I'mallowed to talk.
I'm a 50 freaking, some oddyear old ass man and I gotta, I
gotta, wait on this little tinycreature to have permission to
talk.
That's like an essential humanright just to be able to talk,
freedom of speech.
And I don't even have that,right, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Well, we've solved this now.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Maybe he is, yeah, the whole standing in front of
the TV thing.
I think he does know that he'sdoing it and he's just doing it
to get attention.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I don't think so.
I think he gets distracted bywhat's on the TV and then
doesn't think about it, becauseas soon as you say his name he
moves over.
I just think he's not like.
He's just still being a littlebit like egocentric, which is
developmentally totally normalor typical for kids as they're
growing up.
But he is now at the age wherehe should start to develop this
awareness of where he is inspace and time and I don't know
(08:24):
that that he cares so much rightnow.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Were you the main character in your family growing
up.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yes, maybe because I was the youngest and I was my
mom's only girl.
I mean, my dad had a daughter,my half sister, and my mom had
two boys, but I was the youngest, significantly by 14 to 18
years.
So nobody really lived with usuntil my nephew was born.
So maybe that way.
But then also, you know, I Ihad a very, you know sick
(08:50):
brother and we were in and outof the hospital a lot and so I
really it wasn't there wereother priorities than than me at
that time.
So my brother probably wouldtell you that I thought that I
was, but I don't think that Iwas.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Oh, I have no doubt that you thought that you were
yeah but I don't think I was.
I feel like that might begenetic.
Okay, fair enough.
Who's the main character inyour family listeners?
Is it the youngest child?
Let us know.
Familiarwilsons at gmailcom.
It's time for some Fessholes.
(09:38):
These are anonymous confessionsonline from an account called
Fesshole.
Here we go.
Tell me what you think aboutthis one.
When I was younger, I watchedan episode of the Simpsons where
Homer ate a bunch of tulips.
The scene made them look sotasty, so you can guess where
this is going.
I took one out of my neighbor'sgarden and bit the head off of
(09:58):
it.
It tasted disgusting and had anearwig inside.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Gross.
But also, why was Homer Simpsoneating tulips that had an
earwig inside?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Gross, but also, why was Homer Simpson eating tulips?
That's your question.
For this.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Well, I'll say why is Homer Simpson our role model?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Well, why would you look at a cartoon tulip and
think that that made regulartulips appetizing?
But also, have you ever eaten abug?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Not intentionally.
I mean, if I swallowed one, Idon't you know, like they say,
that you swallow something likehundreds of bugs and spiders in
your lifetime while you'resleeping.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I think that that is a subconscious fear that I have
baseline throughout all of mylife is swallowing a bug or
eating a fly.
I am currently growing a sprigof spring onions.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Not a sprig friend, it's taken over.
You have a forest of springonions coming out of that
planter right now.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Which, by the way, super easy to do.
I kind of discovered byaccident that, oh, these spring
onions, they don't go off asquickly as the other veg goes
off in the fridge, it's becausethe roots are still on.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I was going to say they come with their own roots.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm like what would happenif I planted these.
So what I did is I took twobunches or three bunches that
were going to go bad.
And I said okay, whatever, I'mgoing to stick them in this
planter.
And they are just gangbusters.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yeah, I had already planted wildflower seeds in that
planter.
Oh, did you really?
Speaker 1 (11:13):
That'll be fun.
So, anyway, they're growing.
It's like a house of fire thesethings, and so I'll go out and
I'll cut the tops off them andput them in a salad or put them
in whatever.
But when you cut the pointedend tops off them, all of a
sudden it's just like a tube.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
And I was thinking this morning oh shit, like bugs
can crawl in that tube.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
And then I cut them off and I eat the bugs and I
haven't been considering that.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Do you not wash them?
I wash them but I don't likerun water through the straw.
Yeah, okay fair enough.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I've told the story about eating a double whopper on
the highway and biting intosomething that tasted A roach.
I don't know if it was a roach,I felt like it was a grub.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Okay, Because it was soft and it burst in my mouth.
Nope, nope, nope, nope.
We're all done with that story.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
So I have just this genuine background fear of two
things in my life eating a bugand snakes.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Yeah, oh, remember all the snakes we saw on St
Augustine last week, like wejust walked past a guy with like
five snakes on the street.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
That's so stupid.
Why would you do that?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I think he was wanting people to pay him money
to take pictures with the snakes.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
No, get out of here with that, did you?
Speaker 2 (12:19):
see them as you were walking up to them.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Yeah, I did, I did and I walked around them.
You didn't see me.
No, I hate that.
No, that's the worst.
Let's talk about something else.
Awful, I'm not yes-handingsnakes.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Let's talk about you consuming a grub.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Next, A customer left a really nice leather jacket in
my pub.
Made no effort to see if it wasin lost property.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I was to the window, the teller gave me funny looks
and commented on my jacket andhow he used to have one.
I smiled and walked out.
He knew.
Well then, joker, come, come,get your jacket.
Well, how do you know?
Did it have his nameembroidered on it?
How did he know it was exactlyhis?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I mean, it could have been a very particular like a
custom-made thing, yeah allright.
What would you have done?
Would you have just said giveme my jacket, give me my jacket.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I mean, it's interesting, I had one and I
couldn't find it.
Where did you get that?
Oh yeah, no, I think that'smine.
And then how do you prove it?
Yeah I don't know, you don'tknow yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Next, whenever I'm grating parmesan on my dinner, I
grate it all over the dog aswell, like it's raining cheese.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
He absolutely fucking loves it you should try that
with our dog, but also, forwhatever reason, wait wait, wait
.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Can you imagine like you've seen those slow motion
commercials of people running inthe rain?
Now substitute a dog andparmesan cheese.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
The dog already smells like Fritos, I don't need
to have him smell like funkycheese too.
But honestly, when you saidwhenever I grate Parmesan cheese
on my, and then you said dinner, I really thought you were
going to say a different D word,like it went totally somewhere
else in my head, somewhere elsein my head that gives whole new
(14:02):
meaning to the term dick cheese.
I know right.
You know how, when you can geta whole narrative in your head
in a split second, there was awhole story behind that.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
No, I don't know.
I just pictured him standing inthe kitchen with it out and
then the grater above it, andjust like, and then like okay,
first of all it would be in thekitchen.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I'd be like in the closet or in the bathroom or
something with shame.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
This is like a fetish that I would not want somebody
would have to consume it.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
He's not able to reach it well, also, I am not
having a cheese grater anywherenear that's fair enough.
I mean industrial accidentshappen, my friend.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I mean, have you ever zipped it up with a zipper?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I have not.
First of all, it's not that youzip it up, it's that you catch
a little sack happening.
I know no I have not, because Iwear underwear.
That's what underwear is for.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
It's a shield against that kind of accident.
Could you imagine how muchworse a grater would be?
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yes, I can imagine it and I'm literally inside.
I'm just imploding justthinking about it.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
All right, move on to your next fess hole.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Last one I was nervous about doing a
presentation at work, so I wentto the pub at lunch and had a
few pints to calm the nerves.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Not a good idea.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
I then smashed the presentation.
I was confident and funny.
Problem is I've been asked torepeat it for all of our
branches and I'm concerned I'llturn into an alcoholic Friend.
I think you're already analcoholic.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
If you're leaving work in the afternoon to go and
do this, you might be.
So you know my work does yourwork have?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
a policy about drinking during work hours.
You know what?
I've never had to look this up,but yes, I assume that they do,
because I think most of them do.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
So my work has one, and it's not that you can't
drink like at lunch, it's thatyou cannot return to work
inebriated.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Well, how are they testing that Right?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So so, then it's like you got to know your own limit.
I've never done it, I've never,ever done it like.
But the thing is, I guess, likewhen you go out for a work
lunch or with visiting people orwhatever that it's.
So it's not not allowed, it'sjust you can't return see I
would.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I have never in my adult life done that.
I would be scared to death todo that, even if there wasn't a
policy.
I'm so fricking uptight andstitched up.
I would be mortified to thinkthat I might say something
inappropriate.
Hell, I wander around even now,afraid that I'm just gonna let
(16:32):
slip with a curse word at workand you're stone cold sober.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
It's in my everyday parlance curse word at work and
you're stone cold sober.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
It's in my everyday parlance, not at work, right,
but I can't be saying it infront of the people that I serve
, and so that would be, thatwould be a big issue so that's
one of the things when you'reteaching right is that you can't
like.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Obviously you cannot use curse words in front of in
front of children or students ifthey're older, um, but it would
amaze me the people that Itaught with their ability to
like code switch, because theywould be happy kindergarten
teacher and then walk into theteacher's office and then like,
curse like a sailor and turnaround and walk back out and
(17:09):
switch back.
So it's definitely a um, askill set but you weren't like
that, or you were I didn'treally curse very much until you
and I got married.
And I was only teaching for likethree, two years when you and I
got married and then I went outof the classroom.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah, there you go, All right.
Well, that was our festivals.
Let's skip merrily along toemails.
We asked last week what do youdo to keep your children
occupied when you travel?
And Josh Scar got in touch andhe said that they just bought a
van.
(17:44):
It doesn't say just.
It says they bought a van withthe DVD player to keep the
kiddos occupied and as quiet aspossible on road trips.
We made the 18-hour drive fromRockford to upstate New York
several times in this van andit's been a lifesaver.
We had that for a while.
We had the portable DVD players.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
right when Muffy was little like maybe two we would
drive to my mom's frequently atMarriage 1.0, and my mom lived
two hours away, so it's fourhours back and forth in the car.
We had little DVD players andshe was super into Barney, which
I tried very hard to notintroduce to her.
My mom did and she loved itwith her whole heart.
(18:24):
And we went and we only had oneDVD and it was a Barney DVD.
We got stuck in traffic and satthere for like five hours just
because of like the road wasclosed and it was really bad and
we watched that damn Barneyvideo so many times to where she
started saying no and cryingwhen we put it on.
So please, please, make sureyou have, if you're going to use
(18:46):
the DVD player option, makesure you have plenty of DVDs but
Muffy, growing up, though,really loved and took comfort in
repetitive things.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Well, I mean, that's an anxiety coping skill, right?
So, like the nighttime music,every single night, every single
night, the same damn songs hadto be on, and I grew to hate
Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
What a Wonderful World somewhere over the rainbow
.
Mashup by brother is yeah,something like that, yeah oh, my
god, I can't.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I have like, because it was just on repeat, like it
wasn't, like it was other songson the way there was, also,
wasn't there the nat?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
king cole christmas album yes, oh you can't listen
to chestnuts roasting on an openfire and that used to be my
favorite christmas song no, nobut it is a thing.
That's why, like I fall asleeplistening to friends every night
, there is something.
I mean, there's studies aboutit, how um familiar, familiar
text, or familiar um medianconsumption, um, is most
(19:49):
definitely um an anxietymanifestation.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
That helps you control it because you know
what's coming.
Yes, but you had like what?
Seven or nine seasons?
Of 10 seasons of Friends tochoose from instead of just one
song.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
It worked.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
It worked until it didn't Remember.
Just one day she was just likeI don't wanna hear this song
anymore.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
She can't listen to it now.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
If you would like to reach out to us and let us know
any little thing.
Familiarwilsons at gmailcom.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
All right, we have not done a flashbacks in a while
.
So for those of you who are new, flashbacks is a quiz from the
New York Times where they giveyou eight historical events and
you have to put them inchronological order or put them
correctly on the timeline.
So this week's flashbacks we'regoing to do one anchoring event
and then you have to decide ifthese other ones come before or
(20:56):
after.
Josh makes it a little bitharder for himself because he
tries to guess the actual year.
All right, your first one, josh, is.
Robert Cornelius takes one ofthe first photos of a human.
It's of himself making it thefirst selfie.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Oh, that's cute.
So that's definitely in the1800s, so 1890.
1839.
Okay so 1839 is our startingpoint.
Robert Cornelius, the firstselfie Did he do?
Duck lips?
Maybe All right, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Steven Spielberg wants a complex musical score
for the film Jaws.
The composer John Williamspicks a simpler two-note theme.
Can you do it?
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Dun-dun.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Yep, so Jaws, I would say obviously it's after the
first selfie, I'm gonna sayaround 1979.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
1975, the year of my birth, oh very good.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
So 1975 was Jaws Yep.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Jaws was the number one film when I was born, or
something like that.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
How appropriate.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Good.
So 1975 jaws was the number onefilm when I was born, or
something like that.
How appropriate, yes you'reawesome.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Prohibition begins.
I think that should be yourtheme song.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Now you imagine you should make it for me when, like
when I start like yelling aboutmenopause, perimenopause, you
can just have like the littletheme song I just want you, when
you're starting to come I'mlaying in the bed or whatever.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
You're starting to come upstairs, just put that on
your phone so that I hear thatfirst.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
The high football team in high school.
They were not good.
Right Like football was not oursport.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
They always came onto the field to the Imperial March
and it was the most ridiculousthing because, like they thought
they were so good and they wereso bad.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I feel like at some point it should be compulsory to
change your walk-on musicdepending on how good you or
your team is.
So at some point during thatseason they should have just
chucked it and gone for theBenny Hill theme.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Right, okay, prohibition begins.
Patients can still buy alcoholwith a doctor's prescription, so
whiskey is suddenly used totreat asthma, cancer and simply
old age amen, all right, we'regonna say 1920 prohibition
begins 1920 exactly bam.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Excellent, not excellent.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Terrible idea, go ahead ruby bridges, age six,
integrates a public school innew or the staff refuses to work
with her, except for oneteacher who shows up every day
for a year.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
I'm letting myself down here.
Well, clearly it's after 1920and before 1975.
So I'm going to say 1968.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
1960.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Oh, 1960.
Okay, Sorry folks, I let youdown, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
All right.
South Africa becomes the firstcountry to voluntarily give up
all of its nuclear weapons afterdeveloping them.
It's also the only country toever do so.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Oh wow, Nelson.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Mandela led that too.
Okay, at least by this pictureI see of him holding his hand up
with some white dude.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Okay, so we're going to say that that was like in
1985, okay after jaws 1990 goodon them.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah, love that story work starts on the hoover dam
amid the depression.
Board workers need to have funtoo, so las vegas expands its
newly legal casino industry allright.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
So we're gonna say between 1920 and 1960.
So we're gonna say 1924 1931still six, six or six so far,
sir this is where I get screwedup, because you tell me how good
I'm doing and then I fuck itfor the rest of the time so go
ahead at the saint lewis world'sfair earnest what like I know
(24:37):
that at all, go ahead where theworld's fair in other countries
are just here.
I've only ever heard about thembeing in america I don't know,
but I mean that would be soappropriate if we thought we
were the center of the world,where, I mean, we already do the
world champions of football andthe world champions of
basketball.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Not, but whatever.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
All right.
At the St Louis World Fair,ernest Hamwi, h-a-m-w-i, sells
Persian waffles.
He folds one to hold a dessertfrom a nearby booth popularizing
the ice cream cone.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Oh, okay.
Well, that's going to be inbetween 1839 and 1920.
So I'm going to say 1906.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
1904.
Jeez bam All right, two moreyou ready.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Ice cream cone invented.
I'm writing these down so Inever forget these facts ever in
my life.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Okay, william Morrison builds the first
successful electric cars inAmerica.
Meanwhile, president BenjaminHarrison brings electricity to
the White House.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Wait what.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
William Morrison builds the first successful
electric car.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
But you're saying that electric cars were way back
then Way before Elon.
I thought that Elon invented orstole the invention of Right.
All right.
So electric cars, geez, geez Ihave no freaking idea.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Well, when was benjamin harrison president?
Because I also don't know that.
That's helpful um, that's.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
This is gonna suck because this is all like we're
all clustered between 1839 andlike 1960.
We got all these things closetogether.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, usually we do like some BCEs and stuff.
None of those.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
All right, so I'm going to say 1850.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
1891, you're still correct on your timeline.
All right, last one ready.
Can you go for a clean sweep?
Go ahead massachusetts becomesthe first state to require
smallpox vaccines for thegeneral public amid opposition.
It's later one of the first torepeal its mandate.
Cool guys, go get your vaccinesoh god, see, I'm screwed here.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I'm screwed, I don't know, dude.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Let me show you the picture of the doctor giving the
kid the vaccine.
That might help you All right,go ahead.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Is it in color or black and white?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
It's an illustration.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Well, that's not at all helpful it looks like Thomas
Jefferson-ish.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I realize it's later than that, though Probably.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
All right, I'm going to say I I don't know why 1916
popped into my head, but 1916.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
So between the World's Fair and Prohibition.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yep, ah, 18.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
So seven out of eight Good job.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Yep, and so along with this usually comes little
explanations as to why theypicked these particular
questions.
So what facts can you lay on us?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Electric vehicles died a century ago.
Why?
Battery-operated vehicles werea mainstay more than 100 years
ago, but only a few still exist.
One happens to be in Jay Leno'sgarage.
Okay, but why?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Wait, they were a mainstay.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah, more than a century before Tesla rolled out
its first cars, the BakerElectric Coupe and the Riker
electric roadster rumbled onamerican streets.
Battery-powered cars were sopopular that for a time, about a
third of new york taxis wereelectric.
But those early electricvehicles began to lose ground to
a new class of cars, like theford model t, that were cheaper
and could be more easilyrefueled by a new oil-based fuel
(28:03):
.
There you go, bolstered byfederal tax incentives.
In the 1920s, the oil industryboomed and so did gasoline
powered cars, and it killed theenvironment.
Yeah, all right.
What else?
Maybe something about peopletaking selfies are causing
headaches for europe's museums?
Got it?
Um oh.
Ton of 10 of the world's mostalluring speakeasies.
(28:24):
I've only been to one speakeasyand it was insane.
Have you ever been to aspeakeasy?
Speaker 1 (28:29):
I don't think have you ever been to a speakeasy?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I don't think so.
We should do that.
I did that in Austin when I wasfor a work trip.
It was crazy.
Las Vegas casinos are now sunpowered.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Okay, very good, thank you.
No one likes to be told what todo, and now is the time in the
to do, amanda.
What should we do?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
okay.
So muffie brought this show tous and she said she had heard
about it.
We started watching this showcalled jury duty.
It was made in 2023.
Um, I think it's on amazonprime.
But it's this show whereeverybody involved are actors,
except the one, the one guyright, and he it's kind of like
the truman show, but for reallife, and he's on a jury.
(29:08):
And I know it's hard for you,josh, because you feel for real
life and he's on a jury, and Iknow it's hard for you, josh,
because you feel really bad forthe guy.
I think it turned out fine forhim.
He got a TV deal or somethingout of it.
I think he's okay.
He's a really nice guy too,which is like, how did they
guarantee that this guy wasn'tgoing to just be a complete
asshole?
But anyway, it's funny.
It's like the office with theway they do, like the uh,
documentary style.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
But anyway, if you're interested, go check out jury
duty on amazon prime I just feelbad for him because, like he
was the main character, hedidn't know he was and he was
just getting pranked and I'mjust super uncomfortable but you
watched the show I did watchthe show and it had certain
things that were funny.
But in the back of my mind Iwas thinking, if this happened
(29:50):
to me, I would be freaking livid.
I would be so pissed.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Well, he wound up being okay out of it all.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Okay, well, there you go.
What do you recommend?
I don't have anyrecommendations.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
I just saw on your notes sausage ball king.
I had forgotten about that.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Do you?
Speaker 2 (30:09):
want to recommend sausage balls.
Only if you put a little gratedParmesan on your sausage balls,
way to bring it all backtogether.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
All right, Amanda, that's all there is.
There is no more.
What'd you think of that mess?
I mean it's a mess, but it'sour mess and I love you.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Okay, I'm going to keep telling you I love you, so
Tom feels okay about us.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Today's episode has been kindly brought to you by
Matt the executive cheesemonger,leo the master way whisperer,
josh Scar, the head of brineaffairs, antonio the lead rind
sculptor, danny Buckets, ladlelogistics and forklift ballet
Chicken, tom Barnyard Securityand Mood Stabilizer, monique
(30:52):
from Germany, fermentationCulture Ambassador, eu Division
Refined Gay Jeff, SensoryExperience Curator, mark and
Rachel Mold, control and PublicRelations.
And Dan and Gavin theApprentice Cheese Smellers and
Cheese Agers.
Special thanks to the cow namedLouise.
All right, folks.
So until next week, y'all takeit easy and embrace that
(31:15):
background character energy.
It's good just to sit back andwatch things happen.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
And go be kind.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
All right, bye, bye.
(31:58):
No chickens were harmed duringthe production of this episode,
except emotionally.
Thank you.
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