October 27, 2025 • 38 mins
Halloween candy mountain, party “forced fun,” and the eternal mystery of Why Every Kid Owns a 128 oz Water Bottle. In this comedy chat from Super Familiar with the Wilsons, Amanda and Josh rant about trick-or-treat overload, hosting a house full of costumed grown-ups, and building community without losing your mind (or your Kit Kats). We swap idiom-costume ideas for school (“piece of cake,” anyone?), give a tiny HOA update and play a cross-century slang game (Victorian “bumbershoot” to Gen Z “Shreking”). Plus, there’s a Fesshole segment. If you like marriage banter, parenting honesty, Gainesville gossip, and delightfully unscientific life advice, this one’s for you.
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:00):
Familiar Wilson's Media.
Relationships are the story.
SPEAKER_02 (00:07):
You are made of meat, my friend, all the way
down.
SPEAKER_03 (00:10):
The following podcast uses words like and and
also.
If you're not into any of thatshit, then now's your chance.
SPEAKER_02 (00:19):
Three, two, one.
SPEAKER_03 (00:20):
Run.
SPEAKER_02 (00:23):
Super familiar with it.
SPEAKER_00 (00:31):
Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.
I'm Amanda.
SPEAKER_03 (00:34):
And I'm Josh.
SPEAKER_00 (00:36):
And it is the middle of the night, and Josh is making
me record after we walked aroundand collected what I can only
describe as a beach bag totefull of candy.
SPEAKER_03 (00:47):
I gotta tell you, Amanda, that I have determined
that I do not like Halloween.
SPEAKER_00 (00:53):
That is sad because I love Halloween, and I don't
know how we're gonna You used tolike Halloween when we were
first together.
You liked a lot of things.
I think you were just grumpy.
SPEAKER_03 (01:03):
I'm not grumpy.
Don't dismiss everything I haveto say by just saying I'm
grumpy.
SPEAKER_00 (01:07):
Well, but but you are like you used to like a lot
of things, and now you have nopatience for them.
SPEAKER_03 (01:12):
Well, it's the the thing that I don't like, and
we've talked about this before,is the amount of candy that this
child that Winthrop gets, andit's not good for him.
We've already determined inscience, not even us, because
like what what do we know?
We don't know shit.
But I know that science tells usthat candy is bad.
SPEAKER_00 (01:33):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (01:34):
And he's got all I mean, my God, the amount of
candy he got tonight.
And it's not even so, and here'sthe other thing.
Here's the other thing.
They I don't know who's behindthis, right?
I don't know whether it's theAmerican, like, sweet-making
industrial complex or Hershey'sgot together with whoever the
hell.
(01:55):
But why now do we have severaltrick-or-treat nights?
It is the 27th Monday, October.
It is not trick-or-treat, yetthis child has been to, that I'm
aware of, at least twotrick-or-treat events already.
I'm sorry, what has happened?
That's not right.
I don't get more than oneChristmas.
(02:15):
If we're gonna double up onholidays, let's not double up on
holidays where we sugar ourchildren up so that they are so
that they turn into literal uhmonsters.
No, let's have more umThanksgiving where we can have
more football and more turkeyand and mashed potatoes, or
let's have more Christmas whereI get shit too.
(02:36):
Because the Halloween's not foradults, it's never been for
adults.
It is not the sow in season isnot for adults, it's just for
children and the chocolatemakers.
Those two have colluded, they'vegotten together, and let's and
and let's get together.
And and and they've said, let'sfuck the parents, you know, just
screw the parents and what theywant and what they have to deal
(02:58):
with.
Because now, now we have gotthis, as you said, tote bag
full, this postal bag full ofcandy, and invariably we're
gonna have to get to the pointwhere it's like, oh no,
Winthrop, the rest of your candywas lost.
Because there's no freaking waythat we are gonna let him eat
this three years worth of candythat we've gotten in the past
(03:20):
week.
And still yet to go, still yetto go.
One more night, at least onemore night.
Now, I would not put it pastsomeone in town throwing another
trick-or-treat thing, and he hasto go to that, or is school
giving out more candy?
But I don't I don't understand.
I don't understand.
Someone contact the AmericanDiabetes Association, get them
(03:42):
down here and have them getWilfurt Brimley down here, and
and someone needs to put a stopto this.
Ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (03:50):
He has a fall festival on Wednesday at school.
SPEAKER_03 (03:59):
Oh, then I you know what it is, is I'm then I'm
gonna go face first into thechocolate bowl.
What do you mean, then?
SPEAKER_00 (04:05):
You have already eaten more of that candy tonight
than that child did.
SPEAKER_03 (04:09):
No, that is absolutely not true.
I had How many Kit Kats did youeat?
I had one Kit Kat.
And how many races?
One.
I had two Kitts.
SPEAKER_00 (04:17):
And then you had the you had the um cinnamon toast
crunch Kit Kat.
SPEAKER_03 (04:21):
That was awful.
Why did this is the other thingthat I don't I don't understand?
Why do they feel the need to whydo the makers of Kit Kat, which
I don't know who makes Kit Kat,the Kit Kat people, they have
decided that not only is itnecessary to have regular
chocolate Kit Kat, which I thinkis one of the best chocolates
that there is, I've also seenand had a white chocolate Kit
Kat, which tastes just like wax.
(04:43):
And then tonight I got a KitKat, opened it up, damn thing
was pink.
I'm like, what the hell is this?
SPEAKER_00 (04:48):
I think it was orange.
SPEAKER_03 (04:49):
No, well, whatever it was.
SPEAKER_00 (04:51):
It's supposed to be cinnamon color.
SPEAKER_03 (04:53):
Yeah, which I guess was orange.
Cinnamon toast crunch Kit Kattasted like wretch.
SPEAKER_00 (05:00):
You said it tasted like play-doh.
SPEAKER_03 (05:01):
It was awful.
SPEAKER_00 (05:02):
Winthrop and I liked it.
But we are more joyous than you.
We find joy in the things.
Also, okay, well, we can go oneof two ways with the candy,
right?
We can go, you know what,Winthrop, you go face first and
eat as much as you want, butthis is the only night you're
getting it.
And then he'll vomit.
It'll be like a candy hangover,and then we're done for the
year.
(05:22):
Or we portion it out and he getsone a day until he's 21.
SPEAKER_03 (05:27):
What if we were to do that?
You know, we have never donethat.
And if I wasn't afraid that hemight fall into a coma, I would
be all for the okay, Winthrop,eat as much chocolate as you
want tonight.
Because yeah, maybe that it'llhave that effect.
Maybe that it'll be that that hewill be over coffee.
SPEAKER_00 (05:44):
It's over coffee?
SPEAKER_03 (05:46):
Coffee, Jesus.
Chocolate is what I meant tosay.
SPEAKER_00 (05:49):
Just kind of like you and vodka.
SPEAKER_03 (05:51):
Oh, yeah.
No, I can't have vodka.
SPEAKER_00 (05:53):
Yeah, see?
See, yeah, you and vodka.
You had too much vodka, and nowyou don't want vodka anymore.
SPEAKER_03 (05:58):
I do not even want to smell vodka.
I don't even want to look atvodka, don't want to do it.
SPEAKER_00 (06:02):
I like vodka.
I just never have it in thishouse because you don't like it.
Um, I love Halloween.
I love the theatrics of it.
I love the dressing up.
I I'm not, it's not even aboutthe candy.
And I have such fond memories oftrick-or-treating when I was
younger.
And so I love the Halloween.
SPEAKER_03 (06:18):
See, here's the other thing about I I don't I
don't mind Halloween, but I as Iage, there are less and less
costumes that I can have.
SPEAKER_00 (06:29):
I know you are just not being creative.
SPEAKER_03 (06:32):
No, there's only so many like egg-shaped people that
you know that exist in fictionthat that I that I'm Dumpty
Dumpty again this year.
That's right.
Hey, Shrek, all right.
No, it's it's so I never beenable to wear costumes that don't
require glasses.
SPEAKER_00 (06:50):
Oh, that's yeah, because you don't wear contacts.
SPEAKER_03 (06:52):
No, because I don't wear contacts, I don't like
them.
And so there's that.
So nothing with a mask, or itcan't, you can't very well be
Superman, right?
It can be Clark Kent, but Icannot be Superman.
Yeah you know, hey, I'mSuperman, and he forgot to take
off his Clark Kent glasses.
No.
SPEAKER_00 (07:07):
Well, you can wear the Clark Kent shirt with the
Superman Unitard underneath it.
SPEAKER_03 (07:12):
No, I'm absolutely not gonna do it.
So, and uh of course, I can'thave we I can't be Elvis because
I don't have any hair, so Ican't style my hair.
SPEAKER_00 (07:20):
Um, yeah, and and these are your two choices,
Clark Superman, and Elvis.
SPEAKER_03 (07:25):
Clark Superman, yes, and Elvis.
SPEAKER_00 (07:27):
You knew what I meant.
Don't don't distract.
But you say that Halloween isjust for the children.
We had a house full of adultsthat were just as dressed up as
the children were on Saturday.
SPEAKER_03 (07:36):
We did have a really good party.
I do have a question though, uh,about this party, about parties
in general.
I love throwing parties, I lovehaving people over to the uh the
little old house.
Love all of that.
And we shoved, what, 30 peopleinto this tiny ass house?
SPEAKER_00 (07:50):
Well, our house isn't tiny, but it's just not
designed for a flow of peoplebecause that's a two-story
house.
Like if we had taken it and laidit like end to end in no one
story, great.
But as it is, so we had all ofthe children upstairs in the
loft watching a movie, but allthey managed to do was scream
throughout the entire thing.
And there was probably like 10or 12 kids here, and then all of
(08:12):
their parents, and so I thinklike 20 plus adults and like 12
plus kids.
SPEAKER_03 (08:18):
So here's my question though.
What do you as the party hosts,and also I'm asking you folks
listening out there, if you everhave folks over, what do you see
as your responsibility towardsthe guests that you have in your
house?
SPEAKER_00 (08:32):
Yeah, I feel like I don't settle when we have a
party because I need to makesure that, like, and I I go
straight into teacher mode.
So if there are kids here, I'mhelping the little ones.
Like we've got crafts or makingsure the little kids are
comfortable.
I, you know, there were likesome four and five-year-olds
that I was more, you know,that's my demographic.
(08:53):
Those are my people.
SPEAKER_03 (08:57):
As far as I know, I think they're all from this
country.
SPEAKER_00 (08:59):
Four and five.
Go ahead, six, seven, and I'mspending you on, I'm gonna do
that.
Four and five.
That's gonna be the new slang.
Anyway, I and I want to makesure that I'm trying to make
connections between people whodon't know each other.
And I also feel really badbecause I told everybody I was
gonna order cheese pizza for thekids and totally forgot to do
(09:20):
it.
So now I feel like I've lied.
When we have a dinner party andwe're all just sitting around at
the table and talking, then I'mchill, but not when we have like
a whole ton of people.
SPEAKER_03 (09:31):
So that is my question, though.
Do you feel like it's yourresponsibility as the host to
make sure that everyone isplugged into everyone else?
SPEAKER_00 (09:39):
I don't need them to be plugged into everyone else.
I just think have somebody elsethey're plugged into, right?
Like, for example, we had it wasmostly a lot of my work people,
but then we had some neighborsand and and a friend of yours,
and then um Winthrop had hisbest friend here and his
parents, and super lovely,wonderful people.
I want to hang out with themmore, but they didn't know
(09:59):
anybody else.
And so just trying to makeconnections of oh, you know so
and so, and you know so-and-so,and just making sure everybody
felt like really comfortable.
And they they said they had areally great time.
So I'm hoping I'm hoping I heardI got positive feedback.
I think our net promoter scoreis probably pretty high.
SPEAKER_03 (10:19):
What?
SPEAKER_00 (10:20):
You know, a net promoter score is like, you
know, when you buy your newAdidas and then Adidas sends you
a survey and say how likely areyou to buy another pair of
Adidas?
How likely are you to recommendthis to your friends?
That's your net promoter score.
And so I uh so how likely areyou to attend a Wilson party
again in the future?
SPEAKER_03 (10:37):
I also want to know, folks out there, when you throw
parties, do you structure theparties?
Do you prefer structured partiesor unstructured parties?
Because we had trivia, yeah,like we did trivia, and then the
last party we had, I think itwas your birthday.
SPEAKER_00 (10:53):
Was there one in between the we had a potluck
just in like June or July?
SPEAKER_03 (10:57):
Did we did we have any sort of activity?
I don't think that we yourbirthday we had an activity as
well, and I feel like for me,having an activity is better
because it brings everyonetogether in the room and like
you're doing something asopposed to I'm just gonna go to
this party and maybe I will chatwith some people, or more likely
(11:19):
me, I won't.
When the last few times we'vegone to um a person's house,
like from your work, we've kindof sat, I've kind of sat to the
side because I don't know anyonethere, and I'm not Mr.
Outgoing.
I'm I'm Mr.
You know, I will engage if youcome to me, but also I don't
think I have one of those facesthat begs people to come over.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
That guy's really pissed about Halloween.
Go talk to him.
SPEAKER_03 (11:44):
No, no, no, no.
Um but I so I think I feel likemy responsibility as a host is
to provide something to take thepressure off of the people like
me.
SPEAKER_00 (11:58):
Yeah, I I mean I think it was I think it was
good.
I it was funny because um one ofour one of my uh my work friends
who's newer to to our center andshe had not been to our house
before, she said to me, She'sI've never been to a party like
this.
Usually I just go there and wetalk and drink.
And I'm like, no, no, when youcome to a Wilson's party, you
must play trivia or you musthave a catwalk for your costume.
(12:20):
But she was like, No, I really,I really liked it.
SPEAKER_03 (12:22):
We also did have uh prizes for the best costume and
the best couples costume.
SPEAKER_00 (12:27):
But they all I mean, everybody committed and
participated.
Yeah, no.
Which I and and Muffy was down,like uh participating and on a
team, and and you and Muffy hada couples costume.
SPEAKER_03 (12:39):
Yeah, no, that was good.
No, it it it was all good.
It those of you who arelistening out there, do you
prefer like a structured partyor do you prefer just to hang
out?
I know that the Belsons wouldprobably say that they don't
like forced fun.
Oh, because this is theexpression that I've heard
before.
Forced fun.
Which, by the way, um theBelsons mentioned on their
(13:02):
podcast um earlier that they hadnot received an invitation.
Um, but we did.
You did.
SPEAKER_00 (13:10):
To our party or to just to anybody's in the world?
SPEAKER_03 (13:12):
No, no, no, to our party.
You did I asked them.
SPEAKER_00 (13:15):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (13:16):
But advise Belsons.
No, but the thing is, we didn'toffer to cover um airfare from
London or from Slough.
SPEAKER_00 (13:24):
Listen, friends, when people came to my house, I
gave them like things I hadbought at Trader Joe's that were
around$3.99 uh in Americandollars.
So whatever that conversion rateis is what I'll give you toward
your airfare.
SPEAKER_03 (13:37):
Okay, listen, y'all are welcome to to come on over
and and see what uh what a bigmess this country is whenever
you whenever you want to.
SPEAKER_00 (13:46):
Okay, speaking of costumes though, so I'm I'm I'm
a little stumped because WinterPass 2 this Friday at school,
they're not usually schools willdo like, oh, come as your
favorite storybook character orwhatever.
Well, his teacher is saying hehas to come as an idiom.
Okay, and so he didn't want todo it, and I'm like trying to
explain to him that I think thisis an assignment because there's
(14:09):
a paper he has to fill out.
This isn't just like voluntary,I think he has to do this, it's
forced fun.
Forced fun.
And so he has decided to be apiece of cake.
So I'm just gonna get a whitet-shirt and do some felt like
cake on it, right?
But then for the whole school,it's Red Ribbon Week.
And do you know what do youremember that?
Like from the 80s, and we hadDare and stuff like that.
(14:31):
Red ribbon is the ribbon that'syou're gonna say no to drugs?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so on Friday, how did ithow did I send it to you in the
Belsins?
How does it word?
It's like he has to wear acostume that shows how he's
going to say no to drugs.
SPEAKER_03 (14:50):
I don't even understand.
What does that look like?
Does that mean that that hearrives as like someone like as
a cautionary tale?
Like he's gotta come in and he'sgot dark circles under his eyes
and and like really red nose andhe's the non-example.
Track marks in his arms.
(15:11):
Like, what does that mean?
I think I'd like to please getback to just coming as an idiom.
unknown (15:16):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (15:18):
I think he could so here's some idioms that he could
go as, right?
Yeah.
Break a leg.
SPEAKER_00 (15:22):
Are you gonna break his leg?
SPEAKER_03 (15:24):
No, but no, he goes like with a big thing.
SPEAKER_00 (15:27):
Oh, but I have like a leg thing he can walk around
in.
SPEAKER_03 (15:30):
Okay, well, bite the bullet.
SPEAKER_00 (15:31):
Okay.
Oh, no.
SPEAKER_03 (15:32):
No, you can't take that to school.
Never mind.
Um, let's see.
Oh, here's an interesting one.
No, can't do this one.
SPEAKER_00 (15:39):
I saw one that was like beating a dead horse, but
I'm not giving him a bat and ahorse stuffy.
SPEAKER_03 (15:43):
Beat around the bush.
Let's not even touch that.
Um let's see.
Hit the sack.
That's a good one.
Oh, that doesn't matter.
If you hit the sack, he couldjust come in with a like a
boxing glove and a sack ofgarbage.
Um pull someone's leg.
(16:05):
That could be right hand in handwith break a leg.
There's plenty of things that hecan do.
Time flies when you're havingfun.
He he goes with a with a clockthat has wings on it.
Ah, all right.
SPEAKER_00 (16:16):
You'll be in charge of the idiom costume then.
SPEAKER_03 (16:18):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, no, you but what is hegonna go as?
SPEAKER_00 (16:21):
Well, I told him he doesn't want to go as anything.
And then he was like, fine, I'llgo as ranning cats and dogs.
I can get an umbrella and putcats and dogs on it.
Like, they're not gonna let youopen the umbrella in school.
And so I I was like, he waslike, I don't want to do it.
I said, Okay, let's just do apiece of cake.
And so he was like, fine.
So I'm gonna just get him ashirt with a piece of cake on
it, but you can come up withsomething else that's more
(16:42):
creative.
SPEAKER_03 (16:43):
Comparing apples to oranges, he goes with an apple
and an orange.
Apples to oranges.
Don't count your chickens beforethey're they're they're hatched.
That's a good one.
Don't put all your eggs in onebasket.
That's a good one too.
SPEAKER_00 (16:55):
Two baskets with eggs?
SPEAKER_03 (16:56):
Yes, yes.
No, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (16:58):
All right, we've got those.
I've got baskets, I've gotEaster eggs.
SPEAKER_03 (17:01):
Don't count your eggs before the the egg is the
milk is spilled or somethinglike that.
I don't know.
I have another differentquestion.
Different subject.
SPEAKER_00 (17:09):
Another different one.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (17:10):
Yes, different subject.
Can you tell that that maybeI've had a little wine tonight?
But that's okay.
Um, what's with all the waterbottles?
SPEAKER_00 (17:18):
In our life or just in general in the world?
SPEAKER_03 (17:21):
In general, how the hell did we survive?
SPEAKER_00 (17:24):
We did it.
SPEAKER_03 (17:25):
We drank out of water hoses children without
having a water bottle at ourback end cool.
SPEAKER_00 (17:32):
And these children, have you seen the one Muffy
carries around?
It's big and she like fills itup all of the time.
SPEAKER_03 (17:39):
These kids must have to pee constantly.
SPEAKER_00 (17:42):
I have to pee constantly, and I don't even
have a water bottle.
SPEAKER_03 (17:45):
Well, that's because we're both old.
SPEAKER_00 (17:47):
Like, I'm no, I've always had to pee.
SPEAKER_03 (17:49):
I've well, I've always had to pee too, but I've
gotten to the point now where Iam absolutely I mean, I might as
well set a timer for 3 30 in themorning.
Yeah.
Because I will wake up and haveto pee.
And I don't care if like I'vehad a big drink before I go to
sleep or not.
I don't know whether my body issucking the humidity out of the
(18:09):
Florida air, but 3:30 clockwork,I I pee.
I might as well plan to dosomething because I'm going to
be up anyway.
Okay.
I need to get a job that startsat like four because I am going
to be waking up at 3 30.
Is there any remote jobs thatstart at 4 that I can work from
4 until you know 8 or whatever,whatever the the four to like 2
(18:32):
or whatever it is.
SPEAKER_00 (18:33):
You can go work in a bakery.
They start baking the making thedonuts really early.
SPEAKER_03 (18:37):
I don't know.
I could do it though, because Iam waking up.
But I just don't understand.
I mean, you said it.
When when we were kids, like,first of all, it was gonna be
sprite, right?
It wasn't drink tang.
Right.
Or like sunny delight or fruitor um, what is it?
Um fruit punch.
Kool-Aid, right, right, right,or bug juice or whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (18:57):
Hawaiian punch is what you're thinking of.
SPEAKER_03 (18:58):
Hawaiian punch is exactly.
Those were the things that welived, or Gatorade, a lot of
Gatorade in my house.
I didn't do a one fucking stitchof sweating, much less
athletics, but I had my Gatoradeboy.
But like water wasn't a thing.
Like, no one and you said it,like when we're having water,
it's when we're sucking it outof a rusty hose, right?
And that's not a euphemism.
SPEAKER_00 (19:18):
And it's um probably like reclaimed water.
It's probably not like filtered,it's just dude.
SPEAKER_03 (19:24):
They did not reclaim water in the 80s.
It's just the water you got wasthe water you got from the
aquifer.
Um, so uh I just don't get Ijust don't understand.
SPEAKER_00 (19:33):
I had tea in my house a lot.
My mom would make sweet tea.
SPEAKER_03 (19:36):
Oh, yeah.
Well, you were southern.
SPEAKER_00 (19:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (19:38):
We did not have tea in my house.
I don't think I drank tea.
That's not true.
I had that fake Liptons.
SPEAKER_00 (19:44):
Oh, yeah, that's gross.
SPEAKER_03 (19:45):
Yeah, I had that.
I like that.
That was actually good.
But it always gave me a sorethroat after I drank it.
SPEAKER_00 (19:49):
Oh, that's weird.
SPEAKER_03 (19:50):
Out of the can, yeah.
But I just need to know what allthese what what's the point with
all these water bottles?
What's the point in any case?
SPEAKER_00 (19:56):
I don't know.
And Winthrop won't drink hisbecause it's warm.
Like because it's not aninsulated one.
And so now I've just taken tofilling it up with just ice
cubes so that by the time hegoes to drink it, it's at least
like room temperature.
I did buy him a fancy new waterbottle for his birthday.
SPEAKER_03 (20:12):
So reminder, it started to leak this morning, so
now it leaks.
SPEAKER_00 (20:15):
Okay, well, I ordered him a new one for his
birthday, which is in like uhseven days or something.
SPEAKER_03 (20:20):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (20:20):
I thought about what we could buy him for his
birthday.
SPEAKER_03 (20:22):
What's that?
SPEAKER_00 (20:23):
But I don't know if you're on board with this or
not.
SPEAKER_03 (20:24):
What's that?
SPEAKER_00 (20:25):
Um, a keyboard because he he was into tonight
when we were at work and hewants to play the piano.
And I'm not buying him a piano,but we could get on like I had a
Casio keyboard when I was littleand it had the lights that lit
up, so you knew which one.
It was like Simon says, butlike, or Simon with that thing
that light up when you push thebuttons, and it had a tape, and
(20:46):
you could put it in it, and ithad songs on it that would light
up and teach me how to play it.
And I learned how to play RightHere Waiting for You by Richard
Marks.
Also, I just called to say Ilove you was on that tape, and
then um What's Love Got to Dowith It?
Those were the three songs thatwere on my Casio keyboard.
SPEAKER_03 (21:03):
Whenever I saw Casio, I would I would know how
to play the one button.
The demo button.
SPEAKER_00 (21:10):
Okay, but anyway, I think we should get him a
keyboard.
SPEAKER_03 (21:13):
Fine, that's fine.
As long as it comes withheadphones.
SPEAKER_00 (21:15):
Okay, yeah, no, he does.
You know what he wanted?
He asked me for for hisbirthday, a gaming chair.
I told him no.
SPEAKER_03 (21:20):
Oh, absolutely not.
We're not doing that.
Um, yeah, no, that's good.
So um, let's see, let's see whatwe've covered here.
I don't like Halloween.
What's with all the waterbottles?
Um, should there be forced fun?
I'm going down my list of thingsthat we're gonna talk about
today.
Um, Chicken Tom.
Let's talk about Chicken Tom alittle bit.
(21:40):
Okay.
Chicken Tom has retired from hisjob.
I don't see him at work anymore.
And Chicken Tom, I am callingyou all the way out right now
because you are not answering mytexts.
And I do not want to think thatyou have turned your back on me
and we're no longer friendsbecause you don't win because we
don't work at the same placeanymore.
(22:01):
So, Chicken Tom, where have yougone?
SPEAKER_00 (22:04):
That could be a song, like a really good country
song.
SPEAKER_03 (22:07):
You program it on your Casio.
You think it'd be a countrysong?
Chicken Tom, wherever you can doit.
SPEAKER_00 (22:12):
Well, of course it would.
SPEAKER_03 (22:14):
I think it's a really sad Gregorian chant.
SPEAKER_00 (22:17):
Okay, where it could be that's ridiculous.
Tom, hope you're well.
Please get in touch with Josh.
He's sad.
SPEAKER_03 (22:24):
You know who we did see tonight?
Joey.
Joey.
We saw Joey.
You all, if you make it to theend of our recording, you know
that we give Joey always ashout-out.
And we saw Joey today.
Wonderful to see Joey.
He was asking, because he's notall the way caught up with our
show.
He was asking if there's anyupdates on the homeowners
(22:45):
association or the developers ofthis neighborhood.
And the answer is not really.
So we all all the neighbors gottogether, they put their
differences aside to gather onthe the pool deck of the
neighborhood pool and complain.
It's just for I thought an hour.
(23:06):
And try to come up with somesort of strategy on on how to
get these people to do the stuffthat they're supposed to do.
And we created a WhatsApp group,as I said, and that first week,
boy, people were like on firewriting complaints to code
enforcement of the county.
And since then, as with mostefforts and revolutions, it kind
(23:33):
of went.
SPEAKER_00 (23:36):
Yeah, I mean, we got what we needed out of it.
I would like other things tohappen, but the thing I needed
to happen happened.
So I've kind of I've lost a bitof fire in my gumption, um my
gumption.
SPEAKER_03 (23:49):
So there you go, Joey.
There's your update.
Um, we were it's funny becauseyeah, like like Amanda said, we
were happy when they they rippedthis damn house down next to us.
We were fine and we werecontent.
And then the rest of theneighbors saw that and they're
like, oh, we can do this too.
And then they made this meetingand they asked us to come to it,
which, you know, all thingsbeing equal, I could have easily
(24:13):
just not have gone to itbecause, like I said, the the
thing that we wanted was gone.
So, you know, it's if we're notdoing it, it ain't gonna get
done.
Yeah, that's all I'm that's.
SPEAKER_00 (24:22):
I mean, you have the power.
Speaking of people that we callout at the end, I know we
haven't gotten an update letterfrom Jeff, right?
SPEAKER_03 (24:30):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (24:31):
But did you see Jeff's so Jeffrey?
Um, I'm thinking of you.
Did you see Jeff's post today?
SPEAKER_03 (24:37):
No.
SPEAKER_00 (24:38):
Maybe Jeff, I'm gonna tell your story a little
bit, but you put it out on thesocials, so I think it's okay.
Jeff bought a cologne.
There's a cologne that Jeffreally, really loves, really,
really expensive.
So he got a dupe of it, smelledreally great, got complimented
on it, woke up this morninghorribly swollen, a really,
really bad case of contactdermatitis.
(24:59):
Oh no.
Had to go to the emergencyclinic, had to get a steroid
shot, and on steroids for likethe next week.
So the lesson is uh Jeff's skinis really bougie.
SPEAKER_03 (25:11):
Wait bougie?
What do you mean, bougie?
If it's all broken out, that'snot bougie.
SPEAKER_00 (25:16):
Because it was the knockoff scent.
SPEAKER_03 (25:18):
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Yeah, he that he's too fancy forthat mess.
SPEAKER_00 (25:22):
But Jeff, I'm thinking of you and hope that
you're you're rear well, becausethat is really miserable.
SPEAKER_03 (25:28):
Yeah, sorry, Jeff.
Our our um our condolences toyou and uh hope you heal up
really soon with your bougieskin.
Forgive me, father, for I havesinned.
It's fess hole time.
That's right, it's time for fessholes.
Amanda, I have three fess holesfor you, and I just want you to
(25:48):
give me your response to theseif it reminds you of anything
that's happened to you.
Um, like this first one.
I may have nearly knocked out mygynecologist by shooting a
speculum at his head.
SPEAKER_00 (26:04):
Oh god, like from your vagina?
SPEAKER_03 (26:06):
It wasn't my fault.
He made me laugh, my musclescontracted, and suddenly my twat
was a cannon.
SPEAKER_00 (26:12):
Oh my god.
No, that's not happened, but Ihave fallen into the lap of my
gynecologist when they told meto scoot down further on the
table.
SPEAKER_03 (26:21):
No, and you were you were like naked?
SPEAKER_00 (26:23):
Yeah, well, I mean naked from the waist down.
SPEAKER_03 (26:25):
How was that for both of you?
SPEAKER_00 (26:27):
Horrible, but I was 18 and it was my first time at
the gynecologist.
SPEAKER_03 (26:30):
Did you have to?
I mean, he caught me.
SPEAKER_00 (26:32):
Oh, I was like, push me back up.
SPEAKER_03 (26:34):
Oh, that is, and did you ever go back to him again?
SPEAKER_00 (26:37):
No, but this is also the doctor that delivered me.
So he was like old at thispoint.
SPEAKER_03 (26:43):
Okay, well.
Uh male gynecologist, though?
Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_00 (26:47):
I don't think they had female ones in the 70s.
SPEAKER_03 (26:49):
Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_00 (26:50):
I mean, they weren't as prom yes, of course they did,
but they weren't as prominent.
SPEAKER_03 (26:54):
Oh man.
SPEAKER_00 (26:55):
Shirley had a male one.
Dr.
I started to say Castro.
That's not right, but it'ssomething similar.
SPEAKER_03 (27:01):
Dr.
Castro, yeah, I don't know.
Okay, next one.
When I make a sandwich using, Iremembered his name.
SPEAKER_00 (27:08):
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Corillo, Dr.
Carillo, go ahead.
SPEAKER_03 (27:10):
Okay, God rest the soul.
When I make a sandwich usingbread from a sliced loaf, I
insist on it being made with twoadjacent slices from the loaf.
SPEAKER_00 (27:18):
Of course.
SPEAKER_03 (27:18):
These dudes have been through a lot together on
the way to my plate, so it'sonly right their last journey is
together into my gob.
SPEAKER_01 (27:24):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
They have to be friends.
SPEAKER_00 (27:27):
And also, though, because when you slice it, those
are the ones that are gonnamatch the best.
SPEAKER_03 (27:33):
I feel like now though, that I want to only ever
get the ones that aren't next toeach other because it's the same
thing like you're a host of theparty.
You're trying to get new peopletogether.
SPEAKER_00 (27:45):
But I do this though.
Like I have empathy forinanimate objects.
So like when I'm shopping, Idon't typically pull the first
one off the shelf.
I will get one, two, or threeback because the first one off
the shelf is gonna get taken.
The other ones aren't sure thatthey're going home with anybody.
You're not right.
SPEAKER_01 (28:02):
And someone's got to get them.
I mean, because and I do.
I think like I they need to havehope.
The ones in the front are gonnaget home.
SPEAKER_03 (28:11):
It's amazing that you're concerned that the tomato
soup can't get picked last forkickball.
SPEAKER_01 (28:17):
Yes, and if they're dented, I'd get them even more
because then like no one's gonnawant them because they're
damaged.
SPEAKER_03 (28:23):
Oh god.
SPEAKER_01 (28:24):
That's how you I wound up with you.
SPEAKER_03 (28:26):
You're damaged.
Okay, next.
24-year-old guy here in my firstever serious relationship.
We rent a place together now,and I've just been told for the
first time that it's not normalfor people to iron their socks
and boxers.
SPEAKER_00 (28:40):
Oh, sir.
Listen, I think the only timethat ironing of the socks and
boxers is okay is if you have apersonal valet who's doing that
for you.
SPEAKER_03 (28:52):
Oh, then it's especially not okay.
SPEAKER_00 (28:54):
If you've got to have that's accepted in your
world.
SPEAKER_03 (28:56):
If you've got to have that kind of hang up, don't
you dare impose that shit onanyone else.
SPEAKER_00 (29:01):
No, this is what the the prince and the kings and the
queens all have.
Because it's expected of theroyal family.
SPEAKER_03 (29:07):
Yes, and we all know how incredibly well adjusted
they are.
Isn't it?
No, they're not.
Isn't that right, Andrew?
SPEAKER_00 (29:13):
Nope.
SPEAKER_03 (29:16):
All right, so those are our fest holes for today.
Hope you enjoyed them.
And if you want to hear somesome more fest holes, then bop
on over to, I don't know, one ofyour socials and look up
Fesshole.
Not a sponsor, but we reallyenjoy them.
SPEAKER_00 (30:00):
It is game time, and that is from AJCW, who is our
lovely second born son.
Gonna have a birthday soon.
Happy birthday, Andrew.
SPEAKER_03 (30:10):
And if you want to hear more music by AJCW, check
out any streaming music app.
He's there.
He's good.
SPEAKER_00 (30:18):
So we're talking about Halloween, and one of the
things that has been driving younuts is this idea of six, seven,
right?
SPEAKER_03 (30:24):
Don't want to don't want to mention it anymore.
Don't want to talk about itanymore.
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Well, but it's that's what you and Muffy were
for Halloween.
SPEAKER_03 (30:30):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (30:31):
Because she was a six and you were seven, because
we couldn't figure out what youshould be.
So we've been having thisconversation around what does
this mean.
And I thought back to one of ourmore successful outings of me
giving you a game was you tryingto um identify the slang terms
for vaginas and and penises,right?
(30:53):
Across this the centuries.
SPEAKER_03 (30:55):
Yes, I wouldn't have called that quiz particularly
successful, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (30:59):
Okay.
Well, similar to, but this ismore just like I'm gonna ask you
a little bit of slang questionsfrom across the centuries,
right?
So do you know what did bumbershoot mean in the 19th century?
SPEAKER_03 (31:12):
Vagina.
SPEAKER_00 (31:13):
No.
Is it A, a foolish person, B, anumbrella, C, a type of hat, or D
a dance move.
Bumber shoot, all one word.
SPEAKER_03 (31:21):
Type of hat.
SPEAKER_00 (31:22):
It is a playful Victorian slang for an umbrella.
All right.
Now I'm not asking you that one.
Okay, here's an 80s slang one,right?
Like you're an 80s kid, and youwere saying tonight to Joey that
you don't think that we hadwords that just meant nothing.
SPEAKER_03 (31:35):
No, all the slang that we had growing up, like was
connected to something thatexisted on this planet, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (31:41):
So what was a Zeke in 1980 slang?
SPEAKER_03 (31:45):
Do you know this word?
Zeke.
Zeke was the nickname of IsaiahThomas, a point guard for the
Detroit Pistons.
I get a point, mark it down.
SPEAKER_00 (31:54):
Okay.
Was it A, a Greek person?
B, a geek who is undeniablyattractive, C, a type of
hairstyle, or D, someone who'sasleep.
SPEAKER_03 (32:03):
Uh, a type of hairstyle.
SPEAKER_00 (32:05):
It was a geek who is undeniably attractive.
When someone was geeky inpersonality, but actually
attractive, fun, or pretty, youcall them a Zeek.
They're the best kind of geek.
All right.
SPEAKER_03 (32:15):
It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (32:16):
And we've talked about 6'7, nobody knows what it
means, but I did um find out theorigin of it.
I think it originated from thesong Dute Doot 6'7 by Skrilla
and videos of NBA player LamelloBall, who is six foot seven, set
to the song and it went viral.
Okay.
Do you know what bag your facemeant in the 80s?
SPEAKER_03 (32:38):
Yeah, it means that you're ugly, so bag up your
face.
SPEAKER_00 (32:40):
I've never heard of this.
SPEAKER_03 (32:41):
Oh, yeah, no, no.
Gag yourself with a spoon andthen bag your face.
SPEAKER_00 (32:45):
Okay.
What was powdering hair inVictorian slang?
SPEAKER_03 (32:49):
You mean other than powdering hair?
Um, do you have multiples?
SPEAKER_00 (32:54):
Putting powder in your wig, getting drunk at a
tavern, grooming yourself, orgoing bald?
SPEAKER_03 (32:59):
Grooming yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (33:00):
Getting drunk at a tavern.
When Victorian gentlemen headedto the tavern to drink
excessively, they'd say theywere powdering their hair
instead of just saying gettingdrunk.
Okay.
I don't know this.
Did you say this in the 80s?
Butter when something wasbutter.
SPEAKER_03 (33:14):
When something was butter?
I've heard of butterface.
SPEAKER_00 (33:17):
No.
Yes, but that's butterface.
Right.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (33:20):
Well, no, but it but it was butter face.
Right.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (33:23):
Yeah, I understand.
So something fatty, somethingsmooth and cool, someone who
spreads gossip, or a type ofdance move.
SPEAKER_03 (33:29):
Oh, it's like butter.
It's like butter.
So smooth and cool and whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (33:34):
The example that it gave me is you gotta peg your
pants.
That's butter.
SPEAKER_03 (33:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got that one.
SPEAKER_00 (33:39):
Okay.
What did tally wags mean in the18th century?
SPEAKER_03 (33:42):
Peanosh.
SPEAKER_00 (33:44):
No, testicles.
No, you were supposed to give memultiples.
A type of dance, a man'stesticles, wagons for transport
or fake money.
SPEAKER_03 (33:52):
Testicles.
SPEAKER_00 (33:53):
Tally wags or terry wags.
It's a euphemism for umtesticles, and so was thing
embobs.
SPEAKER_03 (34:00):
I'm giving myself points for that.
SPEAKER_00 (34:02):
Okay.
Alright, that's fine.
Um, here's a new one for you.
Late 2025.
Go ahead.
What does GERT or GERTing mean?
SPEAKER_03 (34:12):
When you gird your loins.
SPEAKER_00 (34:14):
G-U-R-T-GERT.
SPEAKER_03 (34:16):
GERT.
I think it's to like throw up.
SPEAKER_00 (34:20):
All right.
Is it A a type of yogurt brand?
B doing something very smart butalso very dangerous.
C, being tired, or D wearingnice clothes?
SPEAKER_03 (34:31):
Uh nice clothes.
SPEAKER_00 (34:33):
Doing something very smart but also dangerous.
It started as a viral GERT yomeme, but involved it evolved
into this.
So you've heard it here first.
Go use Gert.
SPEAKER_03 (34:42):
What is it from though?
What does it mean?
What's the the origins of theword?
SPEAKER_00 (34:46):
I I don't know.
2025 memes.
Who knows?
SPEAKER_03 (34:49):
It's like yeet.
What is I know what yeet means,but where did the word yeet come
from?
SPEAKER_00 (34:53):
I don't know, but here's my favorite one.
And we'll just do a couple more2025s.
But this one is 18th centuryslang.
What did lobcock mean?
SPEAKER_03 (35:04):
Um, that's when it's so big that in order to not
tread upon it, you had to throwit over your shoulder.
SPEAKER_00 (35:11):
Is it a type of seafood, a door lock, a haircut,
or a large relaxed penis?
Also a dull inanimate fellow.
SPEAKER_03 (35:19):
Door door thing.
SPEAKER_00 (35:21):
No, it is 18th century.
Actually, it uses this word bothas an anatomical reference and
as an insult for boring men.
It is a large relaxed penis.
There you go.
SPEAKER_03 (35:31):
I don't what you don't like that?
No, I don't know that that'ssuch a big insult.
You're a large relaxed penis.
That sounds lovely.
SPEAKER_00 (35:42):
All right.
A cup, just two more.
All right.
What does chat mean when Gen Zsays, chat, is this real?
SPEAKER_03 (35:49):
Like fam, friends.
SPEAKER_00 (35:51):
Yes, they're addressing their group of
friends.
It's like saying guys.
All right, last one.
What does Shreking mean in 2025Gen Z dating terms?
SPEAKER_03 (36:01):
Dating terms?
You're dating someone who's justas ugly as you are.
SPEAKER_00 (36:06):
Someone you're not physically attracted to, but
hoping they'll treat you well.
SPEAKER_03 (36:10):
Bam.
There we go.
SPEAKER_00 (36:12):
So you did pretty well.
SPEAKER_03 (36:13):
No, I count.
SPEAKER_00 (36:14):
You counted?
All right, how many did you get?
SPEAKER_03 (36:17):
There's 10 questions.
SPEAKER_00 (36:19):
Yep.
SPEAKER_03 (36:20):
I got 50%, baby.
SPEAKER_00 (36:22):
Alright, so 50% is a respectable showing.
I'm gonna call you a lobcock.
SPEAKER_03 (36:29):
Please don't.
Alright, Amanda, that's allthere is.
There is no more.
What'd you think about thatmess?
SPEAKER_00 (36:39):
I thought it was all lovecock.
SPEAKER_03 (36:42):
That's so good.
SPEAKER_00 (36:43):
That's my new word.
SPEAKER_03 (36:44):
Oh, good.
Use that work, see how long youlast.
The folks without whom we wouldnot be able to do this every
week.
These are the folks that wewould like to thank.
Thanks to Josh Scar.
We've met him.
Thanks to Monique from Germany.
Not met her.
Got a letter from her.
Thanks to Matt.
Not met him.
Antonio.
(37:05):
Nope.
Not him.
Leo.
Nope.
Ryan Baker.
Met him, I think.
Don't really remember.
Refined Gay Jeff.
Met him.
Spent a lot of time with thatwonderful person.
Joey.
SPEAKER_01 (37:17):
Joey.
SPEAKER_03 (37:17):
Of course we know Joey.
Danny Buckets, met him inLondon.
Chicken Tom, I knew him.
Mark and Rachel.
Of course we spent time withthem.
Lovely people.
And Dan and Gavin, we've metthem, but don't necessarily want
to admit to it.
SPEAKER_00 (37:36):
I'll admit to knowing one of them.
SPEAKER_03 (37:38):
So so until next week or whenever it is that we
get around to recording again,you all be safe.
SPEAKER_00 (37:46):
Go be kind.
Bye.
Bye.
Familiar Wilson's Media.
Relationships are the story.
SPEAKER_02 (00:07):
You are made of meat, my friend, all the way
down.
SPEAKER_03 (00:10):
The following podcast uses words like and and
also.
If you're not into any of thatshit, then now's your chance.
SPEAKER_02 (00:19):
Three, two, one.
SPEAKER_03 (00:20):
Run.
SPEAKER_02 (00:23):
Super familiar with it.
SPEAKER_00 (00:31):
Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.
I'm Amanda.
SPEAKER_03 (00:34):
And I'm Josh.
SPEAKER_00 (00:36):
And it is the middle of the night, and Josh is making
me record after we walked aroundand collected what I can only
describe as a beach bag totefull of candy.
SPEAKER_03 (00:47):
I gotta tell you, Amanda, that I have determined
that I do not like Halloween.
SPEAKER_00 (00:53):
That is sad because I love Halloween, and I don't
know how we're gonna You used tolike Halloween when we were
first together.
You liked a lot of things.
I think you were just grumpy.
SPEAKER_03 (01:03):
I'm not grumpy.
Don't dismiss everything I haveto say by just saying I'm
grumpy.
SPEAKER_00 (01:07):
Well, but but you are like you used to like a lot
of things, and now you have nopatience for them.
SPEAKER_03 (01:12):
Well, it's the the thing that I don't like, and
we've talked about this before,is the amount of candy that this
child that Winthrop gets, andit's not good for him.
We've already determined inscience, not even us, because
like what what do we know?
We don't know shit.
But I know that science tells usthat candy is bad.
SPEAKER_00 (01:33):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (01:34):
And he's got all I mean, my God, the amount of
candy he got tonight.
And it's not even so, and here'sthe other thing.
Here's the other thing.
They I don't know who's behindthis, right?
I don't know whether it's theAmerican, like, sweet-making
industrial complex or Hershey'sgot together with whoever the
hell.
(01:55):
But why now do we have severaltrick-or-treat nights?
It is the 27th Monday, October.
It is not trick-or-treat, yetthis child has been to, that I'm
aware of, at least twotrick-or-treat events already.
I'm sorry, what has happened?
That's not right.
I don't get more than oneChristmas.
(02:15):
If we're gonna double up onholidays, let's not double up on
holidays where we sugar ourchildren up so that they are so
that they turn into literal uhmonsters.
No, let's have more umThanksgiving where we can have
more football and more turkeyand and mashed potatoes, or
let's have more Christmas whereI get shit too.
(02:36):
Because the Halloween's not foradults, it's never been for
adults.
It is not the sow in season isnot for adults, it's just for
children and the chocolatemakers.
Those two have colluded, they'vegotten together, and let's and
and let's get together.
And and and they've said, let'sfuck the parents, you know, just
screw the parents and what theywant and what they have to deal
(02:58):
with.
Because now, now we have gotthis, as you said, tote bag
full, this postal bag full ofcandy, and invariably we're
gonna have to get to the pointwhere it's like, oh no,
Winthrop, the rest of your candywas lost.
Because there's no freaking waythat we are gonna let him eat
this three years worth of candythat we've gotten in the past
(03:20):
week.
And still yet to go, still yetto go.
One more night, at least onemore night.
Now, I would not put it pastsomeone in town throwing another
trick-or-treat thing, and he hasto go to that, or is school
giving out more candy?
But I don't I don't understand.
I don't understand.
Someone contact the AmericanDiabetes Association, get them
(03:42):
down here and have them getWilfurt Brimley down here, and
and someone needs to put a stopto this.
Ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (03:50):
He has a fall festival on Wednesday at school.
SPEAKER_03 (03:59):
Oh, then I you know what it is, is I'm then I'm
gonna go face first into thechocolate bowl.
What do you mean, then?
SPEAKER_00 (04:05):
You have already eaten more of that candy tonight
than that child did.
SPEAKER_03 (04:09):
No, that is absolutely not true.
I had How many Kit Kats did youeat?
I had one Kit Kat.
And how many races?
One.
I had two Kitts.
SPEAKER_00 (04:17):
And then you had the you had the um cinnamon toast
crunch Kit Kat.
SPEAKER_03 (04:21):
That was awful.
Why did this is the other thingthat I don't I don't understand?
Why do they feel the need to whydo the makers of Kit Kat, which
I don't know who makes Kit Kat,the Kit Kat people, they have
decided that not only is itnecessary to have regular
chocolate Kit Kat, which I thinkis one of the best chocolates
that there is, I've also seenand had a white chocolate Kit
Kat, which tastes just like wax.
(04:43):
And then tonight I got a KitKat, opened it up, damn thing
was pink.
I'm like, what the hell is this?
SPEAKER_00 (04:48):
I think it was orange.
SPEAKER_03 (04:49):
No, well, whatever it was.
SPEAKER_00 (04:51):
It's supposed to be cinnamon color.
SPEAKER_03 (04:53):
Yeah, which I guess was orange.
Cinnamon toast crunch Kit Kattasted like wretch.
SPEAKER_00 (05:00):
You said it tasted like play-doh.
SPEAKER_03 (05:01):
It was awful.
SPEAKER_00 (05:02):
Winthrop and I liked it.
But we are more joyous than you.
We find joy in the things.
Also, okay, well, we can go oneof two ways with the candy,
right?
We can go, you know what,Winthrop, you go face first and
eat as much as you want, butthis is the only night you're
getting it.
And then he'll vomit.
It'll be like a candy hangover,and then we're done for the
year.
(05:22):
Or we portion it out and he getsone a day until he's 21.
SPEAKER_03 (05:27):
What if we were to do that?
You know, we have never donethat.
And if I wasn't afraid that hemight fall into a coma, I would
be all for the okay, Winthrop,eat as much chocolate as you
want tonight.
Because yeah, maybe that it'llhave that effect.
Maybe that it'll be that that hewill be over coffee.
SPEAKER_00 (05:44):
It's over coffee?
SPEAKER_03 (05:46):
Coffee, Jesus.
Chocolate is what I meant tosay.
SPEAKER_00 (05:49):
Just kind of like you and vodka.
SPEAKER_03 (05:51):
Oh, yeah.
No, I can't have vodka.
SPEAKER_00 (05:53):
Yeah, see?
See, yeah, you and vodka.
You had too much vodka, and nowyou don't want vodka anymore.
SPEAKER_03 (05:58):
I do not even want to smell vodka.
I don't even want to look atvodka, don't want to do it.
SPEAKER_00 (06:02):
I like vodka.
I just never have it in thishouse because you don't like it.
Um, I love Halloween.
I love the theatrics of it.
I love the dressing up.
I I'm not, it's not even aboutthe candy.
And I have such fond memories oftrick-or-treating when I was
younger.
And so I love the Halloween.
SPEAKER_03 (06:18):
See, here's the other thing about I I don't I
don't mind Halloween, but I as Iage, there are less and less
costumes that I can have.
SPEAKER_00 (06:29):
I know you are just not being creative.
SPEAKER_03 (06:32):
No, there's only so many like egg-shaped people that
you know that exist in fictionthat that I that I'm Dumpty
Dumpty again this year.
That's right.
Hey, Shrek, all right.
No, it's it's so I never beenable to wear costumes that don't
require glasses.
SPEAKER_00 (06:50):
Oh, that's yeah, because you don't wear contacts.
SPEAKER_03 (06:52):
No, because I don't wear contacts, I don't like
them.
And so there's that.
So nothing with a mask, or itcan't, you can't very well be
Superman, right?
It can be Clark Kent, but Icannot be Superman.
Yeah you know, hey, I'mSuperman, and he forgot to take
off his Clark Kent glasses.
No.
SPEAKER_00 (07:07):
Well, you can wear the Clark Kent shirt with the
Superman Unitard underneath it.
SPEAKER_03 (07:12):
No, I'm absolutely not gonna do it.
So, and uh of course, I can'thave we I can't be Elvis because
I don't have any hair, so Ican't style my hair.
SPEAKER_00 (07:20):
Um, yeah, and and these are your two choices,
Clark Superman, and Elvis.
SPEAKER_03 (07:25):
Clark Superman, yes, and Elvis.
SPEAKER_00 (07:27):
You knew what I meant.
Don't don't distract.
But you say that Halloween isjust for the children.
We had a house full of adultsthat were just as dressed up as
the children were on Saturday.
SPEAKER_03 (07:36):
We did have a really good party.
I do have a question though, uh,about this party, about parties
in general.
I love throwing parties, I lovehaving people over to the uh the
little old house.
Love all of that.
And we shoved, what, 30 peopleinto this tiny ass house?
SPEAKER_00 (07:50):
Well, our house isn't tiny, but it's just not
designed for a flow of peoplebecause that's a two-story
house.
Like if we had taken it and laidit like end to end in no one
story, great.
But as it is, so we had all ofthe children upstairs in the
loft watching a movie, but allthey managed to do was scream
throughout the entire thing.
And there was probably like 10or 12 kids here, and then all of
(08:12):
their parents, and so I thinklike 20 plus adults and like 12
plus kids.
SPEAKER_03 (08:18):
So here's my question though.
What do you as the party hosts,and also I'm asking you folks
listening out there, if you everhave folks over, what do you see
as your responsibility towardsthe guests that you have in your
house?
SPEAKER_00 (08:32):
Yeah, I feel like I don't settle when we have a
party because I need to makesure that, like, and I I go
straight into teacher mode.
So if there are kids here, I'mhelping the little ones.
Like we've got crafts or makingsure the little kids are
comfortable.
I, you know, there were likesome four and five-year-olds
that I was more, you know,that's my demographic.
(08:53):
Those are my people.
SPEAKER_03 (08:57):
As far as I know, I think they're all from this
country.
SPEAKER_00 (08:59):
Four and five.
Go ahead, six, seven, and I'mspending you on, I'm gonna do
that.
Four and five.
That's gonna be the new slang.
Anyway, I and I want to makesure that I'm trying to make
connections between people whodon't know each other.
And I also feel really badbecause I told everybody I was
gonna order cheese pizza for thekids and totally forgot to do
(09:20):
it.
So now I feel like I've lied.
When we have a dinner party andwe're all just sitting around at
the table and talking, then I'mchill, but not when we have like
a whole ton of people.
SPEAKER_03 (09:31):
So that is my question, though.
Do you feel like it's yourresponsibility as the host to
make sure that everyone isplugged into everyone else?
SPEAKER_00 (09:39):
I don't need them to be plugged into everyone else.
I just think have somebody elsethey're plugged into, right?
Like, for example, we had it wasmostly a lot of my work people,
but then we had some neighborsand and and a friend of yours,
and then um Winthrop had hisbest friend here and his
parents, and super lovely,wonderful people.
I want to hang out with themmore, but they didn't know
(09:59):
anybody else.
And so just trying to makeconnections of oh, you know so
and so, and you know so-and-so,and just making sure everybody
felt like really comfortable.
And they they said they had areally great time.
So I'm hoping I'm hoping I heardI got positive feedback.
I think our net promoter scoreis probably pretty high.
SPEAKER_03 (10:19):
What?
SPEAKER_00 (10:20):
You know, a net promoter score is like, you
know, when you buy your newAdidas and then Adidas sends you
a survey and say how likely areyou to buy another pair of
Adidas?
How likely are you to recommendthis to your friends?
That's your net promoter score.
And so I uh so how likely areyou to attend a Wilson party
again in the future?
SPEAKER_03 (10:37):
I also want to know, folks out there, when you throw
parties, do you structure theparties?
Do you prefer structured partiesor unstructured parties?
Because we had trivia, yeah,like we did trivia, and then the
last party we had, I think itwas your birthday.
SPEAKER_00 (10:53):
Was there one in between the we had a potluck
just in like June or July?
SPEAKER_03 (10:57):
Did we did we have any sort of activity?
I don't think that we yourbirthday we had an activity as
well, and I feel like for me,having an activity is better
because it brings everyonetogether in the room and like
you're doing something asopposed to I'm just gonna go to
this party and maybe I will chatwith some people, or more likely
(11:19):
me, I won't.
When the last few times we'vegone to um a person's house,
like from your work, we've kindof sat, I've kind of sat to the
side because I don't know anyonethere, and I'm not Mr.
Outgoing.
I'm I'm Mr.
You know, I will engage if youcome to me, but also I don't
think I have one of those facesthat begs people to come over.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
That guy's really pissed about Halloween.
Go talk to him.
SPEAKER_03 (11:44):
No, no, no, no.
Um but I so I think I feel likemy responsibility as a host is
to provide something to take thepressure off of the people like
me.
SPEAKER_00 (11:58):
Yeah, I I mean I think it was I think it was
good.
I it was funny because um one ofour one of my uh my work friends
who's newer to to our center andshe had not been to our house
before, she said to me, She'sI've never been to a party like
this.
Usually I just go there and wetalk and drink.
And I'm like, no, no, when youcome to a Wilson's party, you
must play trivia or you musthave a catwalk for your costume.
(12:20):
But she was like, No, I really,I really liked it.
SPEAKER_03 (12:22):
We also did have uh prizes for the best costume and
the best couples costume.
SPEAKER_00 (12:27):
But they all I mean, everybody committed and
participated.
Yeah, no.
Which I and and Muffy was down,like uh participating and on a
team, and and you and Muffy hada couples costume.
SPEAKER_03 (12:39):
Yeah, no, that was good.
No, it it it was all good.
It those of you who arelistening out there, do you
prefer like a structured partyor do you prefer just to hang
out?
I know that the Belsons wouldprobably say that they don't
like forced fun.
Oh, because this is theexpression that I've heard
before.
Forced fun.
Which, by the way, um theBelsons mentioned on their
(13:02):
podcast um earlier that they hadnot received an invitation.
Um, but we did.
You did.
SPEAKER_00 (13:10):
To our party or to just to anybody's in the world?
SPEAKER_03 (13:12):
No, no, no, to our party.
You did I asked them.
SPEAKER_00 (13:15):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (13:16):
But advise Belsons.
No, but the thing is, we didn'toffer to cover um airfare from
London or from Slough.
SPEAKER_00 (13:24):
Listen, friends, when people came to my house, I
gave them like things I hadbought at Trader Joe's that were
around$3.99 uh in Americandollars.
So whatever that conversion rateis is what I'll give you toward
your airfare.
SPEAKER_03 (13:37):
Okay, listen, y'all are welcome to to come on over
and and see what uh what a bigmess this country is whenever
you whenever you want to.
SPEAKER_00 (13:46):
Okay, speaking of costumes though, so I'm I'm I'm
a little stumped because WinterPass 2 this Friday at school,
they're not usually schools willdo like, oh, come as your
favorite storybook character orwhatever.
Well, his teacher is saying hehas to come as an idiom.
Okay, and so he didn't want todo it, and I'm like trying to
explain to him that I think thisis an assignment because there's
(14:09):
a paper he has to fill out.
This isn't just like voluntary,I think he has to do this, it's
forced fun.
Forced fun.
And so he has decided to be apiece of cake.
So I'm just gonna get a whitet-shirt and do some felt like
cake on it, right?
But then for the whole school,it's Red Ribbon Week.
And do you know what do youremember that?
Like from the 80s, and we hadDare and stuff like that.
(14:31):
Red ribbon is the ribbon that'syou're gonna say no to drugs?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so on Friday, how did ithow did I send it to you in the
Belsins?
How does it word?
It's like he has to wear acostume that shows how he's
going to say no to drugs.
SPEAKER_03 (14:50):
I don't even understand.
What does that look like?
Does that mean that that hearrives as like someone like as
a cautionary tale?
Like he's gotta come in and he'sgot dark circles under his eyes
and and like really red nose andhe's the non-example.
Track marks in his arms.
(15:11):
Like, what does that mean?
I think I'd like to please getback to just coming as an idiom.
unknown (15:16):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (15:18):
I think he could so here's some idioms that he could
go as, right?
Yeah.
Break a leg.
SPEAKER_00 (15:22):
Are you gonna break his leg?
SPEAKER_03 (15:24):
No, but no, he goes like with a big thing.
SPEAKER_00 (15:27):
Oh, but I have like a leg thing he can walk around
in.
SPEAKER_03 (15:30):
Okay, well, bite the bullet.
SPEAKER_00 (15:31):
Okay.
Oh, no.
SPEAKER_03 (15:32):
No, you can't take that to school.
Never mind.
Um, let's see.
Oh, here's an interesting one.
No, can't do this one.
SPEAKER_00 (15:39):
I saw one that was like beating a dead horse, but
I'm not giving him a bat and ahorse stuffy.
SPEAKER_03 (15:43):
Beat around the bush.
Let's not even touch that.
Um let's see.
Hit the sack.
That's a good one.
Oh, that doesn't matter.
If you hit the sack, he couldjust come in with a like a
boxing glove and a sack ofgarbage.
Um pull someone's leg.
(16:05):
That could be right hand in handwith break a leg.
There's plenty of things that hecan do.
Time flies when you're havingfun.
He he goes with a with a clockthat has wings on it.
Ah, all right.
SPEAKER_00 (16:16):
You'll be in charge of the idiom costume then.
SPEAKER_03 (16:18):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, no, you but what is hegonna go as?
SPEAKER_00 (16:21):
Well, I told him he doesn't want to go as anything.
And then he was like, fine, I'llgo as ranning cats and dogs.
I can get an umbrella and putcats and dogs on it.
Like, they're not gonna let youopen the umbrella in school.
And so I I was like, he waslike, I don't want to do it.
I said, Okay, let's just do apiece of cake.
And so he was like, fine.
So I'm gonna just get him ashirt with a piece of cake on
it, but you can come up withsomething else that's more
(16:42):
creative.
SPEAKER_03 (16:43):
Comparing apples to oranges, he goes with an apple
and an orange.
Apples to oranges.
Don't count your chickens beforethey're they're they're hatched.
That's a good one.
Don't put all your eggs in onebasket.
That's a good one too.
SPEAKER_00 (16:55):
Two baskets with eggs?
SPEAKER_03 (16:56):
Yes, yes.
No, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (16:58):
All right, we've got those.
I've got baskets, I've gotEaster eggs.
SPEAKER_03 (17:01):
Don't count your eggs before the the egg is the
milk is spilled or somethinglike that.
I don't know.
I have another differentquestion.
Different subject.
SPEAKER_00 (17:09):
Another different one.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (17:10):
Yes, different subject.
Can you tell that that maybeI've had a little wine tonight?
But that's okay.
Um, what's with all the waterbottles?
SPEAKER_00 (17:18):
In our life or just in general in the world?
SPEAKER_03 (17:21):
In general, how the hell did we survive?
SPEAKER_00 (17:24):
We did it.
SPEAKER_03 (17:25):
We drank out of water hoses children without
having a water bottle at ourback end cool.
SPEAKER_00 (17:32):
And these children, have you seen the one Muffy
carries around?
It's big and she like fills itup all of the time.
SPEAKER_03 (17:39):
These kids must have to pee constantly.
SPEAKER_00 (17:42):
I have to pee constantly, and I don't even
have a water bottle.
SPEAKER_03 (17:45):
Well, that's because we're both old.
SPEAKER_00 (17:47):
Like, I'm no, I've always had to pee.
SPEAKER_03 (17:49):
I've well, I've always had to pee too, but I've
gotten to the point now where Iam absolutely I mean, I might as
well set a timer for 3 30 in themorning.
Yeah.
Because I will wake up and haveto pee.
And I don't care if like I'vehad a big drink before I go to
sleep or not.
I don't know whether my body issucking the humidity out of the
(18:09):
Florida air, but 3:30 clockwork,I I pee.
I might as well plan to dosomething because I'm going to
be up anyway.
Okay.
I need to get a job that startsat like four because I am going
to be waking up at 3 30.
Is there any remote jobs thatstart at 4 that I can work from
4 until you know 8 or whatever,whatever the the four to like 2
(18:32):
or whatever it is.
SPEAKER_00 (18:33):
You can go work in a bakery.
They start baking the making thedonuts really early.
SPEAKER_03 (18:37):
I don't know.
I could do it though, because Iam waking up.
But I just don't understand.
I mean, you said it.
When when we were kids, like,first of all, it was gonna be
sprite, right?
It wasn't drink tang.
Right.
Or like sunny delight or fruitor um, what is it?
Um fruit punch.
Kool-Aid, right, right, right,or bug juice or whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (18:57):
Hawaiian punch is what you're thinking of.
SPEAKER_03 (18:58):
Hawaiian punch is exactly.
Those were the things that welived, or Gatorade, a lot of
Gatorade in my house.
I didn't do a one fucking stitchof sweating, much less
athletics, but I had my Gatoradeboy.
But like water wasn't a thing.
Like, no one and you said it,like when we're having water,
it's when we're sucking it outof a rusty hose, right?
And that's not a euphemism.
SPEAKER_00 (19:18):
And it's um probably like reclaimed water.
It's probably not like filtered,it's just dude.
SPEAKER_03 (19:24):
They did not reclaim water in the 80s.
It's just the water you got wasthe water you got from the
aquifer.
Um, so uh I just don't get Ijust don't understand.
SPEAKER_00 (19:33):
I had tea in my house a lot.
My mom would make sweet tea.
SPEAKER_03 (19:36):
Oh, yeah.
Well, you were southern.
SPEAKER_00 (19:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (19:38):
We did not have tea in my house.
I don't think I drank tea.
That's not true.
I had that fake Liptons.
SPEAKER_00 (19:44):
Oh, yeah, that's gross.
SPEAKER_03 (19:45):
Yeah, I had that.
I like that.
That was actually good.
But it always gave me a sorethroat after I drank it.
SPEAKER_00 (19:49):
Oh, that's weird.
SPEAKER_03 (19:50):
Out of the can, yeah.
But I just need to know what allthese what what's the point with
all these water bottles?
What's the point in any case?
SPEAKER_00 (19:56):
I don't know.
And Winthrop won't drink hisbecause it's warm.
Like because it's not aninsulated one.
And so now I've just taken tofilling it up with just ice
cubes so that by the time hegoes to drink it, it's at least
like room temperature.
I did buy him a fancy new waterbottle for his birthday.
SPEAKER_03 (20:12):
So reminder, it started to leak this morning, so
now it leaks.
SPEAKER_00 (20:15):
Okay, well, I ordered him a new one for his
birthday, which is in like uhseven days or something.
SPEAKER_03 (20:20):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (20:20):
I thought about what we could buy him for his
birthday.
SPEAKER_03 (20:22):
What's that?
SPEAKER_00 (20:23):
But I don't know if you're on board with this or
not.
SPEAKER_03 (20:24):
What's that?
SPEAKER_00 (20:25):
Um, a keyboard because he he was into tonight
when we were at work and hewants to play the piano.
And I'm not buying him a piano,but we could get on like I had a
Casio keyboard when I was littleand it had the lights that lit
up, so you knew which one.
It was like Simon says, butlike, or Simon with that thing
that light up when you push thebuttons, and it had a tape, and
(20:46):
you could put it in it, and ithad songs on it that would light
up and teach me how to play it.
And I learned how to play RightHere Waiting for You by Richard
Marks.
Also, I just called to say Ilove you was on that tape, and
then um What's Love Got to Dowith It?
Those were the three songs thatwere on my Casio keyboard.
SPEAKER_03 (21:03):
Whenever I saw Casio, I would I would know how
to play the one button.
The demo button.
SPEAKER_00 (21:10):
Okay, but anyway, I think we should get him a
keyboard.
SPEAKER_03 (21:13):
Fine, that's fine.
As long as it comes withheadphones.
SPEAKER_00 (21:15):
Okay, yeah, no, he does.
You know what he wanted?
He asked me for for hisbirthday, a gaming chair.
I told him no.
SPEAKER_03 (21:20):
Oh, absolutely not.
We're not doing that.
Um, yeah, no, that's good.
So um, let's see, let's see whatwe've covered here.
I don't like Halloween.
What's with all the waterbottles?
Um, should there be forced fun?
I'm going down my list of thingsthat we're gonna talk about
today.
Um, Chicken Tom.
Let's talk about Chicken Tom alittle bit.
(21:40):
Okay.
Chicken Tom has retired from hisjob.
I don't see him at work anymore.
And Chicken Tom, I am callingyou all the way out right now
because you are not answering mytexts.
And I do not want to think thatyou have turned your back on me
and we're no longer friendsbecause you don't win because we
don't work at the same placeanymore.
(22:01):
So, Chicken Tom, where have yougone?
SPEAKER_00 (22:04):
That could be a song, like a really good country
song.
SPEAKER_03 (22:07):
You program it on your Casio.
You think it'd be a countrysong?
Chicken Tom, wherever you can doit.
SPEAKER_00 (22:12):
Well, of course it would.
SPEAKER_03 (22:14):
I think it's a really sad Gregorian chant.
SPEAKER_00 (22:17):
Okay, where it could be that's ridiculous.
Tom, hope you're well.
Please get in touch with Josh.
He's sad.
SPEAKER_03 (22:24):
You know who we did see tonight?
Joey.
Joey.
We saw Joey.
You all, if you make it to theend of our recording, you know
that we give Joey always ashout-out.
And we saw Joey today.
Wonderful to see Joey.
He was asking, because he's notall the way caught up with our
show.
He was asking if there's anyupdates on the homeowners
(22:45):
association or the developers ofthis neighborhood.
And the answer is not really.
So we all all the neighbors gottogether, they put their
differences aside to gather onthe the pool deck of the
neighborhood pool and complain.
It's just for I thought an hour.
(23:06):
And try to come up with somesort of strategy on on how to
get these people to do the stuffthat they're supposed to do.
And we created a WhatsApp group,as I said, and that first week,
boy, people were like on firewriting complaints to code
enforcement of the county.
And since then, as with mostefforts and revolutions, it kind
(23:33):
of went.
SPEAKER_00 (23:36):
Yeah, I mean, we got what we needed out of it.
I would like other things tohappen, but the thing I needed
to happen happened.
So I've kind of I've lost a bitof fire in my gumption, um my
gumption.
SPEAKER_03 (23:49):
So there you go, Joey.
There's your update.
Um, we were it's funny becauseyeah, like like Amanda said, we
were happy when they they rippedthis damn house down next to us.
We were fine and we werecontent.
And then the rest of theneighbors saw that and they're
like, oh, we can do this too.
And then they made this meetingand they asked us to come to it,
which, you know, all thingsbeing equal, I could have easily
(24:13):
just not have gone to itbecause, like I said, the the
thing that we wanted was gone.
So, you know, it's if we're notdoing it, it ain't gonna get
done.
Yeah, that's all I'm that's.
SPEAKER_00 (24:22):
I mean, you have the power.
Speaking of people that we callout at the end, I know we
haven't gotten an update letterfrom Jeff, right?
SPEAKER_03 (24:30):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (24:31):
But did you see Jeff's so Jeffrey?
Um, I'm thinking of you.
Did you see Jeff's post today?
SPEAKER_03 (24:37):
No.
SPEAKER_00 (24:38):
Maybe Jeff, I'm gonna tell your story a little
bit, but you put it out on thesocials, so I think it's okay.
Jeff bought a cologne.
There's a cologne that Jeffreally, really loves, really,
really expensive.
So he got a dupe of it, smelledreally great, got complimented
on it, woke up this morninghorribly swollen, a really,
really bad case of contactdermatitis.
(24:59):
Oh no.
Had to go to the emergencyclinic, had to get a steroid
shot, and on steroids for likethe next week.
So the lesson is uh Jeff's skinis really bougie.
SPEAKER_03 (25:11):
Wait bougie?
What do you mean, bougie?
If it's all broken out, that'snot bougie.
SPEAKER_00 (25:16):
Because it was the knockoff scent.
SPEAKER_03 (25:18):
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Yeah, he that he's too fancy forthat mess.
SPEAKER_00 (25:22):
But Jeff, I'm thinking of you and hope that
you're you're rear well, becausethat is really miserable.
SPEAKER_03 (25:28):
Yeah, sorry, Jeff.
Our our um our condolences toyou and uh hope you heal up
really soon with your bougieskin.
Forgive me, father, for I havesinned.
It's fess hole time.
That's right, it's time for fessholes.
Amanda, I have three fess holesfor you, and I just want you to
(25:48):
give me your response to theseif it reminds you of anything
that's happened to you.
Um, like this first one.
I may have nearly knocked out mygynecologist by shooting a
speculum at his head.
SPEAKER_00 (26:04):
Oh god, like from your vagina?
SPEAKER_03 (26:06):
It wasn't my fault.
He made me laugh, my musclescontracted, and suddenly my twat
was a cannon.
SPEAKER_00 (26:12):
Oh my god.
No, that's not happened, but Ihave fallen into the lap of my
gynecologist when they told meto scoot down further on the
table.
SPEAKER_03 (26:21):
No, and you were you were like naked?
SPEAKER_00 (26:23):
Yeah, well, I mean naked from the waist down.
SPEAKER_03 (26:25):
How was that for both of you?
SPEAKER_00 (26:27):
Horrible, but I was 18 and it was my first time at
the gynecologist.
SPEAKER_03 (26:30):
Did you have to?
I mean, he caught me.
SPEAKER_00 (26:32):
Oh, I was like, push me back up.
SPEAKER_03 (26:34):
Oh, that is, and did you ever go back to him again?
SPEAKER_00 (26:37):
No, but this is also the doctor that delivered me.
So he was like old at thispoint.
SPEAKER_03 (26:43):
Okay, well.
Uh male gynecologist, though?
Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_00 (26:47):
I don't think they had female ones in the 70s.
SPEAKER_03 (26:49):
Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_00 (26:50):
I mean, they weren't as prom yes, of course they did,
but they weren't as prominent.
SPEAKER_03 (26:54):
Oh man.
SPEAKER_00 (26:55):
Shirley had a male one.
Dr.
I started to say Castro.
That's not right, but it'ssomething similar.
SPEAKER_03 (27:01):
Dr.
Castro, yeah, I don't know.
Okay, next one.
When I make a sandwich using, Iremembered his name.
SPEAKER_00 (27:08):
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Corillo, Dr.
Carillo, go ahead.
SPEAKER_03 (27:10):
Okay, God rest the soul.
When I make a sandwich usingbread from a sliced loaf, I
insist on it being made with twoadjacent slices from the loaf.
SPEAKER_00 (27:18):
Of course.
SPEAKER_03 (27:18):
These dudes have been through a lot together on
the way to my plate, so it'sonly right their last journey is
together into my gob.
SPEAKER_01 (27:24):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
They have to be friends.
SPEAKER_00 (27:27):
And also, though, because when you slice it, those
are the ones that are gonnamatch the best.
SPEAKER_03 (27:33):
I feel like now though, that I want to only ever
get the ones that aren't next toeach other because it's the same
thing like you're a host of theparty.
You're trying to get new peopletogether.
SPEAKER_00 (27:45):
But I do this though.
Like I have empathy forinanimate objects.
So like when I'm shopping, Idon't typically pull the first
one off the shelf.
I will get one, two, or threeback because the first one off
the shelf is gonna get taken.
The other ones aren't sure thatthey're going home with anybody.
You're not right.
SPEAKER_01 (28:02):
And someone's got to get them.
I mean, because and I do.
I think like I they need to havehope.
The ones in the front are gonnaget home.
SPEAKER_03 (28:11):
It's amazing that you're concerned that the tomato
soup can't get picked last forkickball.
SPEAKER_01 (28:17):
Yes, and if they're dented, I'd get them even more
because then like no one's gonnawant them because they're
damaged.
SPEAKER_03 (28:23):
Oh god.
SPEAKER_01 (28:24):
That's how you I wound up with you.
SPEAKER_03 (28:26):
You're damaged.
Okay, next.
24-year-old guy here in my firstever serious relationship.
We rent a place together now,and I've just been told for the
first time that it's not normalfor people to iron their socks
and boxers.
SPEAKER_00 (28:40):
Oh, sir.
Listen, I think the only timethat ironing of the socks and
boxers is okay is if you have apersonal valet who's doing that
for you.
SPEAKER_03 (28:52):
Oh, then it's especially not okay.
SPEAKER_00 (28:54):
If you've got to have that's accepted in your
world.
SPEAKER_03 (28:56):
If you've got to have that kind of hang up, don't
you dare impose that shit onanyone else.
SPEAKER_00 (29:01):
No, this is what the the prince and the kings and the
queens all have.
Because it's expected of theroyal family.
SPEAKER_03 (29:07):
Yes, and we all know how incredibly well adjusted
they are.
Isn't it?
No, they're not.
Isn't that right, Andrew?
SPEAKER_00 (29:13):
Nope.
SPEAKER_03 (29:16):
All right, so those are our fest holes for today.
Hope you enjoyed them.
And if you want to hear somesome more fest holes, then bop
on over to, I don't know, one ofyour socials and look up
Fesshole.
Not a sponsor, but we reallyenjoy them.
SPEAKER_00 (30:00):
It is game time, and that is from AJCW, who is our
lovely second born son.
Gonna have a birthday soon.
Happy birthday, Andrew.
SPEAKER_03 (30:10):
And if you want to hear more music by AJCW, check
out any streaming music app.
He's there.
He's good.
SPEAKER_00 (30:18):
So we're talking about Halloween, and one of the
things that has been driving younuts is this idea of six, seven,
right?
SPEAKER_03 (30:24):
Don't want to don't want to mention it anymore.
Don't want to talk about itanymore.
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Well, but it's that's what you and Muffy were
for Halloween.
SPEAKER_03 (30:30):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (30:31):
Because she was a six and you were seven, because
we couldn't figure out what youshould be.
So we've been having thisconversation around what does
this mean.
And I thought back to one of ourmore successful outings of me
giving you a game was you tryingto um identify the slang terms
for vaginas and and penises,right?
(30:53):
Across this the centuries.
SPEAKER_03 (30:55):
Yes, I wouldn't have called that quiz particularly
successful, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (30:59):
Okay.
Well, similar to, but this ismore just like I'm gonna ask you
a little bit of slang questionsfrom across the centuries,
right?
So do you know what did bumbershoot mean in the 19th century?
SPEAKER_03 (31:12):
Vagina.
SPEAKER_00 (31:13):
No.
Is it A, a foolish person, B, anumbrella, C, a type of hat, or D
a dance move.
Bumber shoot, all one word.
SPEAKER_03 (31:21):
Type of hat.
SPEAKER_00 (31:22):
It is a playful Victorian slang for an umbrella.
All right.
Now I'm not asking you that one.
Okay, here's an 80s slang one,right?
Like you're an 80s kid, and youwere saying tonight to Joey that
you don't think that we hadwords that just meant nothing.
SPEAKER_03 (31:35):
No, all the slang that we had growing up, like was
connected to something thatexisted on this planet, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (31:41):
So what was a Zeke in 1980 slang?
SPEAKER_03 (31:45):
Do you know this word?
Zeke.
Zeke was the nickname of IsaiahThomas, a point guard for the
Detroit Pistons.
I get a point, mark it down.
SPEAKER_00 (31:54):
Okay.
Was it A, a Greek person?
B, a geek who is undeniablyattractive, C, a type of
hairstyle, or D, someone who'sasleep.
SPEAKER_03 (32:03):
Uh, a type of hairstyle.
SPEAKER_00 (32:05):
It was a geek who is undeniably attractive.
When someone was geeky inpersonality, but actually
attractive, fun, or pretty, youcall them a Zeek.
They're the best kind of geek.
All right.
SPEAKER_03 (32:15):
It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (32:16):
And we've talked about 6'7, nobody knows what it
means, but I did um find out theorigin of it.
I think it originated from thesong Dute Doot 6'7 by Skrilla
and videos of NBA player LamelloBall, who is six foot seven, set
to the song and it went viral.
Okay.
Do you know what bag your facemeant in the 80s?
SPEAKER_03 (32:38):
Yeah, it means that you're ugly, so bag up your
face.
SPEAKER_00 (32:40):
I've never heard of this.
SPEAKER_03 (32:41):
Oh, yeah, no, no.
Gag yourself with a spoon andthen bag your face.
SPEAKER_00 (32:45):
Okay.
What was powdering hair inVictorian slang?
SPEAKER_03 (32:49):
You mean other than powdering hair?
Um, do you have multiples?
SPEAKER_00 (32:54):
Putting powder in your wig, getting drunk at a
tavern, grooming yourself, orgoing bald?
SPEAKER_03 (32:59):
Grooming yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (33:00):
Getting drunk at a tavern.
When Victorian gentlemen headedto the tavern to drink
excessively, they'd say theywere powdering their hair
instead of just saying gettingdrunk.
Okay.
I don't know this.
Did you say this in the 80s?
Butter when something wasbutter.
SPEAKER_03 (33:14):
When something was butter?
I've heard of butterface.
SPEAKER_00 (33:17):
No.
Yes, but that's butterface.
Right.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (33:20):
Well, no, but it but it was butter face.
Right.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (33:23):
Yeah, I understand.
So something fatty, somethingsmooth and cool, someone who
spreads gossip, or a type ofdance move.
SPEAKER_03 (33:29):
Oh, it's like butter.
It's like butter.
So smooth and cool and whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (33:34):
The example that it gave me is you gotta peg your
pants.
That's butter.
SPEAKER_03 (33:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got that one.
SPEAKER_00 (33:39):
Okay.
What did tally wags mean in the18th century?
SPEAKER_03 (33:42):
Peanosh.
SPEAKER_00 (33:44):
No, testicles.
No, you were supposed to give memultiples.
A type of dance, a man'stesticles, wagons for transport
or fake money.
SPEAKER_03 (33:52):
Testicles.
SPEAKER_00 (33:53):
Tally wags or terry wags.
It's a euphemism for umtesticles, and so was thing
embobs.
SPEAKER_03 (34:00):
I'm giving myself points for that.
SPEAKER_00 (34:02):
Okay.
Alright, that's fine.
Um, here's a new one for you.
Late 2025.
Go ahead.
What does GERT or GERTing mean?
SPEAKER_03 (34:12):
When you gird your loins.
SPEAKER_00 (34:14):
G-U-R-T-GERT.
SPEAKER_03 (34:16):
GERT.
I think it's to like throw up.
SPEAKER_00 (34:20):
All right.
Is it A a type of yogurt brand?
B doing something very smart butalso very dangerous.
C, being tired, or D wearingnice clothes?
SPEAKER_03 (34:31):
Uh nice clothes.
SPEAKER_00 (34:33):
Doing something very smart but also dangerous.
It started as a viral GERT yomeme, but involved it evolved
into this.
So you've heard it here first.
Go use Gert.
SPEAKER_03 (34:42):
What is it from though?
What does it mean?
What's the the origins of theword?
SPEAKER_00 (34:46):
I I don't know.
2025 memes.
Who knows?
SPEAKER_03 (34:49):
It's like yeet.
What is I know what yeet means,but where did the word yeet come
from?
SPEAKER_00 (34:53):
I don't know, but here's my favorite one.
And we'll just do a couple more2025s.
But this one is 18th centuryslang.
What did lobcock mean?
SPEAKER_03 (35:04):
Um, that's when it's so big that in order to not
tread upon it, you had to throwit over your shoulder.
SPEAKER_00 (35:11):
Is it a type of seafood, a door lock, a haircut,
or a large relaxed penis?
Also a dull inanimate fellow.
SPEAKER_03 (35:19):
Door door thing.
SPEAKER_00 (35:21):
No, it is 18th century.
Actually, it uses this word bothas an anatomical reference and
as an insult for boring men.
It is a large relaxed penis.
There you go.
SPEAKER_03 (35:31):
I don't what you don't like that?
No, I don't know that that'ssuch a big insult.
You're a large relaxed penis.
That sounds lovely.
SPEAKER_00 (35:42):
All right.
A cup, just two more.
All right.
What does chat mean when Gen Zsays, chat, is this real?
SPEAKER_03 (35:49):
Like fam, friends.
SPEAKER_00 (35:51):
Yes, they're addressing their group of
friends.
It's like saying guys.
All right, last one.
What does Shreking mean in 2025Gen Z dating terms?
SPEAKER_03 (36:01):
Dating terms?
You're dating someone who's justas ugly as you are.
SPEAKER_00 (36:06):
Someone you're not physically attracted to, but
hoping they'll treat you well.
SPEAKER_03 (36:10):
Bam.
There we go.
SPEAKER_00 (36:12):
So you did pretty well.
SPEAKER_03 (36:13):
No, I count.
SPEAKER_00 (36:14):
You counted?
All right, how many did you get?
SPEAKER_03 (36:17):
There's 10 questions.
SPEAKER_00 (36:19):
Yep.
SPEAKER_03 (36:20):
I got 50%, baby.
SPEAKER_00 (36:22):
Alright, so 50% is a respectable showing.
I'm gonna call you a lobcock.
SPEAKER_03 (36:29):
Please don't.
Alright, Amanda, that's allthere is.
There is no more.
What'd you think about thatmess?
SPEAKER_00 (36:39):
I thought it was all lovecock.
SPEAKER_03 (36:42):
That's so good.
SPEAKER_00 (36:43):
That's my new word.
SPEAKER_03 (36:44):
Oh, good.
Use that work, see how long youlast.
The folks without whom we wouldnot be able to do this every
week.
These are the folks that wewould like to thank.
Thanks to Josh Scar.
We've met him.
Thanks to Monique from Germany.
Not met her.
Got a letter from her.
Thanks to Matt.
Not met him.
Antonio.
(37:05):
Nope.
Not him.
Leo.
Nope.
Ryan Baker.
Met him, I think.
Don't really remember.
Refined Gay Jeff.
Met him.
Spent a lot of time with thatwonderful person.
Joey.
SPEAKER_01 (37:17):
Joey.
SPEAKER_03 (37:17):
Of course we know Joey.
Danny Buckets, met him inLondon.
Chicken Tom, I knew him.
Mark and Rachel.
Of course we spent time withthem.
Lovely people.
And Dan and Gavin, we've metthem, but don't necessarily want
to admit to it.
SPEAKER_00 (37:36):
I'll admit to knowing one of them.
SPEAKER_03 (37:38):
So so until next week or whenever it is that we
get around to recording again,you all be safe.
SPEAKER_00 (37:46):
Go be kind.
Bye.
Bye.
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