Sure Thing
This is a financial comedy podcast with Andrew Wolfe and Josh Armstrong. Sure Thing is fiction. Sure Thing is not a source of legitimate financial advice. You should consider seeking independent legal, financial, taxation or other advice from anybody else. http://surething.money
Episodes
Debates become heated, dick-taties examined, judgement is passed. We're purging ourselves of our evils through bile and hate, spinning up the cult of personality and joining everybody down in the countryside to FASEA the music.
Self sucking through the glory hole in your face mask. Ouroblowus.
Released early on Patreon.
We've spent the last day digging a grave for ourselves and for you. This episode is a true car crash - curly dick and his robotic friend are finally in together in person. The thin veil of sobriety burns away around 1:20. Play quickdraw with a murderer, make no noise during sex and remember, it's not phobic because you aren't afraid of anything.
http://surething.money
Get your real estate license through repetitive concussion and CTE. Nobody is impressed by your expensive curtains when you made all your money importing and exporting brake discs for farming equipment. Council pick up is a permanent fixture are your neighbour's front lawn - raise your fists and get in their face in an attempt to win your life back.
surething.money
Recorded in January.
Stop eating and watch the fat that comprises the majority of your personality disappear. It's a post-apocalyptic wasteland and we're the only podcast with the solution. Start a war, suck the tailpipe of a Ford Bronco and join the Patreon to get episodes early. Shot in the back of the head, left for dead, cheeseburger in one hand, fat fake milkers pushing up the dirt as you're lowered into the gr...
Silviu loves us, Bernie is RIPping it up in heaven and even the audience plants are experiencing a sad quagmire of self-pity. Very wearisome with few redeeming qualities.
Are you in Perth? Andrew is performing at the Perth Comedy Festival. Shockingly he has not been featured on the front page of the website, but despite the best efforts of festivals around Australia to silence him, he has almost sold out his run at the the Rega...
Smashing through the trampoline that was supposed to save us from the depths of despair, the bounce has become a climb with nary an "R U Okay?". Ripped of karate kids and questionable wording from a couple of smug fucks. Green belts are now $35 and if you don't pay up we're gonna nick your coats.
See Wolfey live at MICF: comedyfestival.com.au/2021/shows/andrew-wolfe
surething.money
Short-squeeze yourself into a pair of dancing shoes and join us on the fire truck to get yourself a haircut. $800 tuck-ins for bedtime - we revolutionise public services to generate extra profit and commercialise what remains of society's heroes. Wait until your final moments before attempting a last-minute grab at the life you should've had.
Quit your job, eat your family, surething.money.
Is there a Doctor onboard? Paying for sad dates with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles credit card and screaming as we leave the runway. Alan Watts said it couldn't be done, but if you throw your parents under the bus you might just be able to get away with insider trading. Expressing the breast milk for your new ice cream business - leave one in the bowl while you listen to this episode for good fortune. www.surething.money
...
You're the bull in the ornamentals shop, the relationship is breaking down and everybody has taken a bet with low odds that you're not getting the kids. Delivering CBT right into your ears this episode to the background of the fattest bass drop of everything embarrassing thing you've ever accidentally said out loud. Hold your kids under water until their hands become so prune-y that no psychic could ever possibly do an ...
We've only just gotten patched in and we're already having microsleeps on our big boy bikes. Set off the fireworks cos it's the first episode of a New Year featuring fresh opportunities to invest in a babychino direct from the almond's Double Fucken' Ds, a couple sniffs of the worst Darren Sadblokes your X-Defacto's ever heard and one of us works really hard to prove that a separation isn't always unfair...
Contrary to popular belief, depression, anxiety and suicide rates don't increase during this holiday season, they are just high all year round. Can't wait till my balls drop tonight!
Intro music created by H-Pizzle.
Sharpened teeth and anal fishhooks on a trampoline of dreams. Wolfey gets off the phone at 1:03:42. www.surething.money
Intro music created by H-Pizzle.
It's a Great Leap Forward, hacking up our culture and questioning a few others. Never looking back, always looking forwards to a simulated future where all outcomes are miserable. Neck a Fruity Lexia and deepfake a smile through all the weddings, market shifts and dig deep down inside yourself until you hit that hot, black yolk. If you were truly related to Napolean you wouldn't be such a coward.
Invest in www.surething...
Knock-knock, I'm with Australian Solar Implants - can you spare a minute to jam this in your head? Christmas is around the corner, you asked for Cape Town and you're getting the Cape Town Flats. Try escape without getting your hand bitten off, or stand your ground, take off your shoes and fling an egg into the face of every alternative medicine practitioner.
It's not SUPERannuation unless it's invested at www.su...
Sentencing is being handed down and we're hoping for at least 8 years. New business ideas and conspiracy theories resonate with a very impressionable man living in a state of mental flux. Kill your neighbour and assume their identity for the ultimate rent reduction. Illuminati explored and Glitterati is ignored, the Chinese death camps await. A surprise milestone at the $10k Patreon mark is announced and we have received severa...
Your cubicle is a coffin, you live in a postbox and 10% of your life is being stolen by Kogan. International sex crimes and dirty penis cleaning time - retirement's a lie and you might as well just jump into the hole with the rest of the drill.
Intro music created by H-Pizzle.
A golden tooth for a gilded man. It's Nesquik titties and abused, limp kiddies, flinging sand into the eyes of the Royals and a sharp turn left as we decide it's time to start redistributing the wealth now that we don't have any. We've waived the height restriction, so hurry up and hook yourself up to the giant ventilator with all your fishing village girlfriends. Die Piscasso or live retardo? Flip a coin and pray f...
All profits from Sure Thing Podcast Pty Ltd will be used for chaos. It's a $1000 a day bender propped up by a pyramid scheme and enforced by gang of losers in cool jackets - we're hooked up to an MDMA drip to avoid a comedown. Inadvertent skull crushing as the 3 step program takes 12 steps back. Grab a vibrating stick and help us bash every ounce of what will hopefully be recognised as irony from your hot chicken.
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