#50: Toddlers in Scrubs with Psychologist Barlas Günay

Psychologist and reparenting expert, Barlas Günay, comes on the show to reveal why the majority of us are really just children in white coats. Toddlers in scrubs. Babies pretending to be adults. And what we can do about it.

In this powerful episode, we explore why traditional cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) may fall short for high-functioning professionals—especially surgeons—whose deeply ingrained patterns stem from unmet emotional needs. We dive into the world of Schema Therapy, which addresses the origin of recurring emotional pain, not just its surface-level expression.

You’ll learn about the concept of “limited reparenting”, the 18 core maladaptive schemas, and the one that often plagues high-achievers: unrelenting standards and hypercriticalness. We explore how the environments of surgical training—hierarchical, elitist, and shame-based—reinforce these painful inner narratives.

What You’ll Learn:

• What schemas are: core beliefs developed through repeated unmet needs in childhood
• How trauma gets “stuck” in the body when fight-or-flight is inhibited
• The cycle of negative feedback in training, and how it impairs learning and emotional development
• Why positive reinforcement—not criticism—is the most effective teaching tool
• How to reconcile compassion for others with righteous anger and boundary-setting
• Why mental self-flagellation is learned, not necessary
• How it’s possible to be a brilliant surgeon with the frustration tolerance of an 8-year-old
• The link between repressed anger and chronic illness (“Repression of anger will f*ck you up”)
• Somatic and schema therapy techniques that actually help you heal, not just cope

Modalities We Discuss:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – how moving your eyes during trauma recall helps decouple the emergency response
• Somatic Completion – allowing the body to finish survival reflexes that were blocked
• Imagery Rescripting – going back into a childhood memory and rewriting the experience to reclaim power

Core Insight:

You can be competent, accomplished, and admired—and still be psychologically underdeveloped. It’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to grow.

Final Thought:

Emotions are just data. Anger is not dangerous—it’s a vibration. Learn to feel it without reacting to it. Only then can you choose wisely.

Join more than 83k others and follow Barlas on instagram here and join his reparenting community. We all know we need this.

Join Empowered Surgeons Group here.