The Diamond Communication Structure: Your Roadmap for Crisis Conversations

Feel lost in peer conversations? The Diamond Communication Structure gives you a simple, reliable way to support someone in crisis, without making things worse.

Ever wish someone had given you a roadmap for crisis conversations?

Too often, we freeze up when a peer says, “I’m not OK.” We either launch into advice too quickly or fumble through the silence, hoping we’re doing it right. And in peer support, those moments matter.

One wrong move can shut a person down. But the right framework? It can build trust, open up healing, and give someone the safety to talk.

In this episode, I’ll teach you the Diamond Communication Structure, a proven way to guide someone through a hard conversation, especially when they’re sharing something traumatic.

It’s not a script. It’s a shape.

And once you learn it, you’ll never go into another conversation feeling unsure again.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL LEARN:

• How to use closed-ended questions to stabilize the conversation
• When to shift into open-ended questions to invite their story
• How to paraphrase and close the loop without rushing or minimizing

This is one of the most practical communication tools you can learn in peer support. And the best part? You can start using it today.

OTHER LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

StressCareDoc.com

Schedule a Peer Support Discovery Call

Connect with Bart

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bartleger

Facebook Page: facebook.com/survivingyourshift

Website: www.survivingyourshift.com

Want to find out how I can help you build a peer support program in your organization or provide training? Schedule a no-obligation call or Zoom meeting with me here.

Mentioned in this episode:

Houston Area CISM GRIN Training

This 3-day course, hosted by the Atascocita Fire Department, will teach you how to support your peers through effective communication, emotional resilience, and understanding the psychological impact of crises. Register for this training. https://stresscaredoc.com/atascocita-grin Dates: January 6-8, 2026 Times: 8:30 AM - 5:00 PM each day Location: Atascocita Fire Admin Building

Episode Transcript

Speak (00:01):
Ever sit with a peer after a critical incident,
knowing the need to talk, onlyto have them stare at the floor
or say, I'm fine? You don't wantto push, but you also know
silence isn't helping. Thisepisode will give you a simple
structure to guide theconversation and help them open
up without making it weird.

Interview (00:21):
Welcome to Surviving Your Shift, your go-to resource
for building strong, peersupport teams in high-stress
professions. I'm your host, BartLeger, board-certified in
traumatic stress with over 25years of experience supporting
and training professionals infrontline and emergency roles.
Whether you're looking to starta peer support team, learn new

(00:43):
skills, or bring training toyour organization, this show
will equip you with practicaltools to save lives and careers.

Speak (00:53):
Have you ever sat with a peer after a tough call? Maybe
it was a fatality, multiplefatality, a child death, or an
officer-involved shooting, andyou could just feel the weight
of what they were holding, butthey wouldn't talk. I mean,
you're sitting there, trying tobe present. You know they need
to say something, and you wantto help, but all you get is, I'm

(01:14):
okay, I'm good, I'm fine, or itis what it is, and inside you're
thinking, how do I get them toopen up without pushing too hard?
Now, that moment can be one ofthe hardest parts of peer
support, because if you push toosoon, you can shut them down, or
if you wait too long, you mightmiss the opportunity, and they
might not say anything at all.Today, I'm going to teach you a

(01:36):
simple tool I call the DiamondCommunication Structure. It's
what we teach in CriticalIncident Stress Management, and
all it is, really, is just asimple way to ask questions to
help someone begin to open upand talk about their experience.
It's not a script, but it givesyou a natural, repeatable way to
help someone open up after acritical incident, helps them to

(01:58):
tell their story, and begin tomake sense of what they've just
been through. Okay, now, let'swalk through how it works. When
someone's in crisis, theirnervous system is often
overwhelmed. They may bedisoriented emotionally, all
over the place, or may be unsurewhat to do next. That's not the

(02:18):
time to hit them with deep,open-ended questions like, how
are you really doing, or tell meeverything that happened.
Instead, what we want to do isbegin with some short,
closed-ended questions that helpthe person feel safe, help them
feel oriented, because they'realready uncomfortable. We don't

(02:38):
want to make them more so, sowhat we do is begin with
closed-ended questions, onesthat really only require a
yes-or-no answer. You might asksomething like, Are you okay
sitting here for a few minutes?Yes or no. Can I get you a
bottle of water? Yes or no. Dowould somewhere quieter help?

(03:05):
and help ground the person inthe present moment. You're
helping them feel seen andsupported. This beginning part
of the diamond is really allabout creating safety and
structure. You're saying, I'mhere with you, and you're not
alone, and you don't have tofigure everything out all at
once. And once you've helpedthem feel safe and grounded with

(03:27):
those simple, closed-endedquestions, it's time to gently
widen the conversation. This iswhere we move into open-ended
questions that invite them tostart sharing their story. This
is the middle of the diamond. IfI were to illustrate it
graphically, it's just a squareon its side with a point on top,
widens out to a point on eitherside, and a point at the bottom.

(03:50):
The open space in the middle iswhere you invite the person to
share more of their experiencein their words.
Here are some open-endedquestions that work well in this
phase 2, can you tell me alittle bit about what happened?
What happened after that, what'sbeen the hardest part about this

(04:15):
for you? What These questionsgive people the freedom to open
up. They let the story unfoldwithout judgment or a fixed
agenda. The person gets tochoose what they share and how
they share it. This middlesection is where the healing
really starts. It allows them toverbalize what they've been

(04:37):
through, to tell their story.You're helping them put to
language their experience.You're validating that what
they're going through matters.You're reminding them that
they're not crazy, they're notweak, but they're human, and
they're hurting. And remember,silence. It's okay here. If they
need time to think, or to cry,or to gather their thoughts, go

(04:59):
ahead and let them. Yourpresence really is doing more
than you realize. After they'vehad the space to talk and you've
listened without rushing orinterrupting, it's time to bring
the conversation back together.This is where paraphrasing helps.
You wrap things up in a way thathelps them feel like they've
been heard and understood. Now,once they've shared what they

(05:21):
needed to share, we don't justabruptly end the conversation.
We narrow again, but this timenot with questions. We bring the
conversation to a close or to apoint where we paraphrase what
they've told us. It's what wecall the summary paraphrase. You
might say something like, "Sowhat I'm hearing you say is…"

(05:42):
or "Sounds like you've beentrying to…" And then we
complete the sentence with asummary of what we've heard them
say. When you paraphrase, you'revalidating what they've just
said you were listening and thenclarifying that you understood
it correctly because you careenough to get it right. Honestly,
sometimes in that moment, themoment where someone hears their

(06:05):
pain reflected back withcompassion is the thing that
shifts everything. It bringsclarity and it can bring relief
and it certainly will help themto trust us more. It builds
trust. It builds trust. So youcan ask, "Did I get that right?
Is there anything you want toadd or correct?" That keeps the

(06:25):
focus on them while showing thatyou're open and you're teachable.
This closing part of the diamondhelps them feel seen and heard
and supported and it gives youboth a chance to breathe before
moving forward. And there's areason why this structure works.
The diamond communicationstructure works because it's
intuitive and it's alsointentional. We start with

(06:48):
closed-ended questions toestablish facts. We then move to
open-ended questions to expandexploration. And then we wrap up
with summary paraphrasing tocapture the essence of what's
been said. And we can then ask afollow-up question or repeat the
diamond. I mean, you're notguessing your way through the
conversation. You're following aflow that feels natural to the

(07:10):
person you're helping withoutputting pressure on either them
or yourself. Whether you'retalking to a co-worker after a
hard call or sitting withsomeone who finally admits, "I'm
not okay." This framework helpsyou stay calm, present, and
effective. Now, if thisstructure helps you feel more
confident in tough conversations,how about sharing this episode

(07:32):
with your team or save it tolisten to again when you need a
refresher? These tools only workwhen we practice them. And if
your department needs helpgetting started with a peer
support team or maybe wantstraining that goes deeper than
the surface-level stuff, headover to StressCareDoc.com and
schedule a free discovery callwith me. I'll help you build a

(07:55):
peer support team that actuallyworks. And thanks for joining me
today on Surviving Your Shift.Today, we walk through the
diamond communication structure.It's your roadmap for guiding
others through effective peerconversations. Next time, we're
going to dig into one of themost important skills a peer
supporter can have. That is...Active listening. We'll talk

(08:17):
about what it actually means,why it's so hard, and how to get
better at it without zoning out,trying to fix the other person,
or making it about you. Untilthen, God bless and have a great
day.