Psychological abuse. It's a beast. It's confusing. It's a mind fuck. Here are some indicators and what they sound like:
-does things, denies it later (GASLIGHTING)
("What do you mean? I didn't do that. You're remembering it wrong.")
-terrorizes, then acts like nothing happened
(Throws a big fit about this or that, throws things, intimidates, threatens, and then 10 minutes after the fight acts like everything is business as usual.)
-projects responsibility
("I wouldn't have to be so _____ if you weren't so _____." "I wouldn't drink if you weren't such a nag or the kids weren't so loud.")
-displays weapons to scare you
-convinces you they know better than you do
("That's not what happened. You know I have a better memory than you.")
-controls minute aspects of victim's life - food, fun, friend, etc.
(What to wear, hair color, who to talk to, when to be home, what to eat....)
-Threatens to hurt or kill themselves or others
(Also passive suicidal ideation when they feel hurt by you or others; "The world would be better without me. Nobody would miss me.")
Each one of these could really have their own episode, especially Gaslighting. That might be a future episode in itself, but if you're interested in what Gaslighting looks like you can find a perfect example in Disney's 'Tangled.' Mother Gothel is a pro and this YouTube video breaks it down perfectly.
Thanks for listening.
Here’s the power and control wheel and red flags charts that I reference in this and other episodes. If you or a loved one are experiencing abuse, or even questioning if what you are experiencing is normal, I encourage you to check out these resources.
You Might Be In An Abusive Relationship If...*
Have you ever wondered if it's abuse or just... "Marriage is hard, right? Mine is Exhibit A!"
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