130. How to Be a Lazy Parent in the Best Way - 2 Keys to Less Stress & More Joy

Feeling exhausted from doing everything — the school snacks, the bedtime routines, the constant reminders — and ready to just burn the whole thing down? 

What if being a "Lazy Parent" was the key to more joy and ease?!  

Spoiler alert - I think it is!!

In this week’s episode, I invite you into a surprisingly freeing mindset: Lazy Parenting.

 No, it’s not about neglect or indifference — it’s about choosing intentional calm over chaos (trying to keep up with Insta trends), and kind and firm parenting instead of over-functioning (doing everything for everyone).

And guess what?! This actually makes parenting feel easier and sustainable.  

When you are done listening, you will know:

• Why doing less for your kids helps them become more responsible and resilient.
• The simple mindset shifts that end daily power struggles without yelling.
• How to reclaim your energy and connection using gentle discipline that actually works.

If you’re ready to parent with more ease — and finally see your kids listen without all the nagging — this episode will be your permission slip to relax, breathe, and raise confident kids the sustainable way.

✨Want more?

✨ Schedule a FREE 20 min clarity call with Sustainable Parenting, so we can answer any questions you may have. Together, we'll make a plan for your best next steps to have more calm & confidence in parenting - while having kids that listen!:)

✨ Download the FREE pdf. on getting kids to listen, for strategies that take you out of the "gentle mom - monster mom" cycle, with effective positive parenting strategies.

✨ Sign up for an upcoming LIVE ONLINE workshop with Flora, or purchase a past replay: https://sustainableparenting.com/workshop where you get 30 min. of learning and 30 min. of LIVE Q & A time, with replays sent afterwards.

✨ Buy a 3 session Coaching Bundle (saving you $100) - for THREE 30-min sessions 1:1 with ME, where we get right to the heart of your challenges, and give you small, powerful shifts that make a huge difference fast.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Do you ever feel like you're doing everything for
everyone and still somehowfeeling behind?
You see a mom on Instagram whomade an adorable pumpkin-shaped
snack and you think maybe Icould do that.
Two hours later, you're snappingat your kids over something
small and wondering, what iswrong with me?
Friend, nothing is wrong withyou.
You are tired, you're giving waytoo much energy, possibly to the

(00:23):
wrong things.
And today I want to invite youto something radical.
Lazy parenting.
Now, before you imagine I'mtelling you to ignore your kids,
no, that's not what I'm saying.
But I'm talking aboutintentionally lazy in a way
that's gonna help your family bestronger and having more ease

(00:44):
and joy together.
By the end of this episode,you're gonna walk away with
permission to stopoverfunctioning.
Two powerful reasons why being alazy parent is actually the most
loving thing you could do, and afew practical examples you can
start with today.
Friend, I'm Flora McCormick,licensed therapist, parenting

(01:04):
coach, and early childhoodmental health consultant with
almost 20 years experiencehelping families like yours that
are burnt out from being in apower struggle often with your
kids, striving so hard tovalidate and break cycles that
happened in your past, andmeanwhile struggling to the
point where you are not onlyfighting with the kids, but also
fighting with your spouse.
And friend, as you're listening,if this touches you, share it

(01:26):
with a friend, like it with fivestars and leave a comment, or
also subscribe so that you don'tmiss anything in the future.
Hello and welcome to theSustainable Parenting Podcast.
Let me tell you, friend, thisplace is different.
We fill that gap between gentleparenting and harsh discipline
that's really missing to parentwith kindness and firmness at

(01:48):
the same time.
And give you the exact steps tobe able to parent in ways that
are more realistic andeffective, and for that reason,
finally feel sustainable.
Welcome.

(02:10):
Let's be honest.
We live in this Instagram worldright now where we are
encouraged to overdo it.
I mean, my goodness, just thismorning I was on my feed and I
see this like super cool displayon the front porch of a house.
Like, oh man, my kids wouldthink that's so cool.
And then I see another postabout a cool snack that a family

(02:30):
is making to be able to sendwith their preschooler.
I'm like, oh gosh, that is alsoso cool.
But somewhere along the way, westart believing that that is the
definition of good parenting.
Always busy, always doing thesebig over-the-top things.
But friend, is that really whatgood parenting is?
Let's step back for a second.
I want you to ask yourself aquestion.

(02:53):
What really matters?
And please hear this.
If you are someone who lovesdecorating and it brings you to
a place of joy, maybe somethingyou even do with your kids, go
to the nines, do it all.
I just like I'm rooting for youto enjoy this holiday season or
whatever season you're in,decorate, make the cool snacks.

(03:13):
But I talk to parents everysingle day in my parent coaching
work that are not excited aboutthis.
This isn't what they want to do,but they somehow feel like they
should and they need to.
Those are key words.
If you find yourself saying to afriend, oh, I should really dot,
dot, dot, or I need to get thatsnack made for the thing.
I need to get our front doordecorated for Halloween.

(03:36):
I want you to know those areindications from your gut
sneaking in to give you wisdom,to tell you that is not actually
authentic to what brings youjoy.
It's something you're feelingdriven to do for external
reasons.
And when we are driven to dothings for external reasons, we

(03:58):
often end up then feeling burntout, unfulfilled.
And what do we do when we'reburnt out and unfulfilled?
We snap at our family, we getmore frustrated, and nobody
wins.
Side note on this if it's notonly decorating that is
frustrating you and theobligations there, but that
you're not having any me time torejuvenate yourself and that's
part of being burnt out, checkout episode 125, where we talk

(04:22):
about how me time and takingcare of yourself is actually
something that benefits yourwhole family.
But back to today's agenda,here's the truth doing more does
not equate loving more.
Decorating, doing all the thingswe see on Instagram does not
mean we are loving more.
If it gets us to a place wherewe're drained, snappy, and

(04:42):
barely holding it together bybedtime, I want to invite you to
embrace being a lazy parent.
Two key ways to be a lazy parentthat's gonna benefit you and
your kid.
One, just say forget it to allthe shoulds, the need to's.
When you hear your voice sayingthat to other people or inside

(05:04):
your own head, oh, I really needto pause, say, but do I want to?
Do I choose to?
Am I gonna choose that?
And if your voice is like, no, Idon't want to, then don't do it.
And again, remember, I'm notsaying that in regard to like,
should I feed my child?
Should I offer them love today?

(05:24):
No, we're not encouragingneglect here in the Sustainable
Parenting Podcast.
We're encouraging boundaries andletting go of all the garbage in
our culture that is alwaysputting more pressure on us.
So, first thing, you can letthose shoulds go and say, I'm
gonna choose to do this.
And let me tell you, I am a momthat I have had parents say to
me, Really, you would do that ina guilt sort of way that made me

(05:48):
feel like crap around thingslike, oh, you buy a store-bought
cake for your kids instead ofmaking one?
Yes, I do.
Oh, you're not gonna go to jumptime and do that big expensive
party?
No, I am not.
Oh, you're gonna do only twopresents from relatives for
certain holidays?
Yes, I am.
You buy thrift store things foryour kids instead of going all

(06:10):
around town to buy the perfect,this, that, and whatever.
Yes, I do.
I encourage you to embracechoosing the things that fit for
you that save your energy so youcan give it to the right thing.
Loving your kids, being therefor them emotionally, being able
to hold those hard boundaries.
That all takes so much energy.

(06:30):
Who cares about the freakingFrankenstein Rice Krispie
treats?
Okay.
Item number two of how I want toinvite you to be a lazy parent
today, my friend, is to pause inthose things that you're
overfunctioning for your kidsand see it as an invitation for
them to build more independence.
Are you getting up five timesfrom the table at dinner to get

(06:53):
what they need?
Can they get up instead?
Have you made a way that there'slike a little shelf of their own
silverware and cups in a spacethey can reach?
Are you still wiping their buttat home, even though you know at
preschool they're wiping itthemselves?
Let's shift and give them thatopportunity to start doing it

(07:14):
also at home.
Where are you overfunctioning,doing things for your kids that
they could be doing forthemselves?
Today's the opportunity to bethat quote, low lazy parent.
I want you to say, if you'relike, but is it too lazy to not
get up and get it when theyasked me to get something?
Sure, if you want to frame itthat way, but I actually think
it's empowering.
Let's shift our language fromthinking that's even lazy to I

(07:37):
am empowering.
I'm gonna take this as a momentto sit here and say, you are
absolutely welcome to go get adifferent colored cup.
If that's important to you, youhelp yourself.
You're thirsty?
Great.
Can't wait to see what youchoose to do to solve that.
You're welcome to the wateryourself.
Okay?
Today, friend, lazy parentingcan be the most loving parenting

(08:00):
and best way to help yourself bemore aligned with your values,
relaxed, authentic to your trueself, and in a space where
you're both empowering your kidsand encouraging them to know we
don't have to keep up with theJoneses quote whatever on
Instagram to feel great aboutourselves.