Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to take care oftime, the tails and exhales of
(00:02):
caregivers, where we dive deep,no pun intended, into the lives
of those who care for others?
I'm your host, Beverly Nance.
And today we embarked on parttwo.
Of our journey.
In our series.
Hi seas respite.
In this episode.
Which we will call deep waters.
We explore what happens.
(00:23):
When the unsung heroes of ourfamilies find themselves
overwhelmed and in need of theirown respite.
We'll follow Nicole, as shesteps into the role, she never
expected to play, that have aprimary caregiver to her mother,
Paula.
while her sister, Kathy.
Usually at the helm takes a muchneeded break.
Whether you're a longtimelistner or joining us for the
(00:44):
first time.
This story resonates with anyonewho's found themselves in the
shoes.
They never thought they'd fillso grab a comfortable seat.
And let's set sail.
On this eye opening voyagethrough the intricacies, the
family responsibility andpersonal growth.
And now without further ado,let's dive into deep waters.
Speaker (01:07):
Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh.
(01:33):
Uh.
It's early morning in Nicole'sapartment.
Contemporary.
And neatly organized.
Nicola sitting at the table withher laptop open in front of her.
A cup of coffee cooling andbeside it.
She dressed for work.
But her expression is tense.
Worried.
Two months prior to today.
(01:54):
Nicole's sister, Kathy calledher and informed her, not asked.
But informed her that she wouldhave to take care of their mom
for a couple of weeks becauseshe needed a break.
And now, two months later,Nicole is finally asking for
time off from her job.
Nicole has always prided herselfon her professional dedication,
rarely missing a day at themarketing firm.
(02:16):
where she's quickly risen.
Through the ranks.
But today she faces a situationthat her fast-paced job hasn't
prepared her for.
Stepping into her sister'sCathy's shoes to care for their
mother, Paula.
Nicole knows that she is not cutout for caregiving.
She's all about her career andclimbing the corporate ladder.
(02:37):
Now she has to make the call.
She's been dreading.
Uh, uh, Hi, Janice.
This is Nicole.
I need to speak with you.
about something.
it's important.
Do you have a moment?
Of course, Nicole, what's up.
I've had an urgent familysituation come up unexpectedly,
my sister has had to leave townsuddenly and I need to take over
(03:00):
caring for our mother.
It's quite urgent.
I'm going to need some time offeffective immediately.
Oh, I see.
I'm sorry to hear that Nichol.
How long do you think you'llneed?
I'm not entirely sure.
But it could be up to a week.
Perhaps two weeks.
I'm stepping into a fullcaregiving role and I just don't
(03:20):
know.
Um, I don't know how long mysister will be away.
We'll manage here from Nicole.
Family comes first.
Take the time that you need andjust keep us updated.
We can arrange for temporarycoverage of your projects.
Is there anything else that youneed from us?
Thank you, Janice.
I really appreciate it.
I, I might need to work remotelyfor a bit.
(03:44):
Even after I come back justwhile we figure things out.
That's perfectly fine.
We'll set up everything forremote access.
Just focus on your family fornow.
Relief washes over Nicole.
And as she closes her laptop,the immediate hurdles of
professional obligation.
Clear for the moment.
Although she wasn't completelyforthcoming with her boss.
(04:04):
At least she got that out of theway.
But as she glances at hermother's old family photo on the
wall, the gravity of what liesahead, begins to sink in.
It's no longer about boardroomsand brand strategies.
It's about medications, mealsand managing a household.
A new kind of challenge awaits.
(04:25):
Nicole hits for her bedroom topack a bag and head over to her
mom's place.
It's, early morning at Paula'scozy.
Well-kept home.
The sun is just rising casting,a soft light through the
curtains.
The house is quiet.
You start contrast to the usualmorning bustle when Kathy has
around.
As Nicole pulls into thedriveway of her mother's house.
If familiar site strikes adifferent chore today.
(04:47):
It's not just a place to drop byfor a quick visit or for our
Sunday dinner is now hertemporary command center.
Her base for the days ahead.
Mom is me, Nicole.
Stepping into the house.
Nicole feels a mix ofapprehension and resolve the air
is filled with a scent of freshcoffee.
And reminder of Kathy's morningroutines meticulously keeping
(05:11):
everything in order for theirmother.
Oh, Nicole, what a surprise.
It's Cathy with you.
No mom, it's just me this week.
Remember Kathy needed to take atrip.
I'm going to be here to helpout.
Nicole attempts to mimic themorning routine.
She seen Cathy performedcountless times as she pours out
the coffee that her mother triedto make, and starts a new pot
(05:35):
She measures the coffee grounds.
Her movements are hesitant.
Each step reminding her of hersister's usual, ease around the
kitchen.
Nicole and recognizes that hermother's memory.
Is in and out.
She'll she tries not to sayanything that may offend her
mom.
Her eyes scan the neatlyorganized notes Kathy left.
Guidelines on medications, mealplans and emergency contacts all
(05:58):
lined up next to the phone.
It's more than just a list.
It's a lifeline thrown to Nicolewho suddenly realizes the depth
of Kathy's daily commitment.
Okay, Nicole, you can do this.
It's just a few days.
So Nicole was talking toherself.
With a deep breath, Nicolefinishes making the coffee
(06:19):
carries two cups into the livingroom where Paula has settled
with her morning newspaper thesimple act of sharing coffee in
the morning, light.
Is there first shared at moment,of many to come this week.
As Nicole sits down beside hermother, the journey ahead looms
large, but so does theopportunity to connect to care
(06:41):
and to understand the world, hersister navigates every day.
Her first task is simple enoughbreakfast.
And morning medications.
Yet the labels on the pillbottles confuse her.
And Paula's dietary restrictionsare more complicated than Nicole
remembered.
As the morning progresses,Nicole's frustration mounts.
She struggles to maintain theroutine Kathy so seamlessly
(07:01):
managed.
Each small task rolls into achallenge and Paula's needs seem
to multiply by the hour.
By mid day, Nicole faces herfirst real test.
Paula becomes agitated.
Missing Cathy's familiarpresence.
Nicole filling out of debt.
Tries to sooth her usingtactics.
She thinks are appropriate, butour efforts fall short.
(07:24):
The weight of her sister's dailyreality begins to press out on
Nicole.
It's not just a physical task,but the emotional labor, the
constant attention.
And patients required thatstarts.
To open Nicole's eyes to theenormity of Kathy's role.
Nicole manages to make itthrough the day.
But as the sun sets on Nicole'sfirst day as Paula caregiver
(07:46):
exhaustion sets in.
But so does a new found respectfor Cathy?
Alone with her thoughts afterPaula finally goes to bed.
Nicole reflects on the day'shardships and what tomorrow
might bring.
The weight of the day'sresponsibilities sits heavy on
Nicole's shoulders.
Each task more daunting than thelast.
The room is now quiet.
(08:06):
Paula napping peacefully after ataxi morning.
It's in this rare moment of calmthat Nicole reaches her limit
the frustration, the isolationof caregiving becoming too much
for her to bear.
She doesn't understand how Kathydoes is, but she has so much
respect for her sister.
She decides to call her friend,just to get some things off her
chest.
(08:26):
www.
youtube.
com or www.
youtube.
com Hey, Nick.
What's up.Gailu sound tired.
Hey, yo.
Yeah, I'm at mom's covering forCathy.
It's just a lot harder than Ithought.
I don't know how Kathy does thisevery day without losing her
mind.
(08:46):
The toilet team, the baths.
My mom's memory is not what itused to be.
She even went out on the porchtoday and I thought she was
going to walk off.
I was so scared.
Oh, honey.
I can only imagine.
But you're doing somethingreally important.
Even if it feels overwhelming.
(09:07):
We'll talk about what happened.
Is everything from the meds.
Uh, scheduled.
So the meal prep.
Ah, and today mom had thisepisode.
She just got upset oversomething so small.
I felt so clueless Gail Ithought I could handle this, but
I feel like I'm failing her.
I'm failing Cathy.
(09:29):
You're not failing Nicole.
You're stepping up in a big wayand that's commendable.
But it sounds like you could usesome help or at least some
advice.
Have you talked to Kathy aboutwhat to do when things get
tough.
I can't, she's in the middle ofthe ocean, somewhere on a cruise
with a couple of her friends.
She left me a lot of notes butthere aren't any notes.
(09:50):
What to do when you'reexhausted.
It's okay to feel overwhelmed.
It's okay to ask for help.
You're doing your best andthat's all anyone could ask for.
Plus I'm here anytime.
Okay.
Let's figure this out together.
Thanks Gill.
It means a lot to hear.
I'll be okay.
I just need to lay down for aminute.
I really don't know how Kathydoes is every day.
(10:13):
Anytime Nick, hang in there.
And give me a shout out atanytime you need to fit.
You got this.
Armed with a little morecourage.
And feeling less alone, the coalprepares to face the rest of the
week.
With Gail's encouragement,echoey in her mind.
She's reminded.
There's not just about gettingthrough the day.
It's about learning and growingthrough her challenges.
(10:34):
Meanwhile miles away from thequiet.
Of Nicole's rest.
Kathy sits out on her balcony,aboard the cruise ship.
Her gaze is fixed on thehorizon.
Where the ocean meets the sky ina line of endless blue.
The salt air is fresh andvibrating.
They start contrast to the airback home that carries a sense
of responsibility and routine.
(10:58):
Whew.
This is what I needed.
But why do I feel like I'mabandoning them?
As Kathy sips on her Bahamamama.
The smooth rum mixed with thecrispness of the ocean breeze.
Does little to clear the fog ofguilt that clings to her.
Each way that breaks against thewhole sensei ripple of unease.
Her body is here, but her heartremains tethered to the home.
(11:20):
She temporarily left behind.
Kathy is aware of caregiver,self guilt.
She knows.
It's a common, emotionalexperience among caregivers.
Where they feel guilty orselfish for taking time to
attend to their own.
Physical emotional or socialneeds.
She takes another sip of herdrink.
And these moments of contractingsolitude.
(11:42):
Both sisters face their ownbattles.
No Cole grappling with the handson challenges.
Of caregiving and Kathywrestling with the emotional
turmoil.
Of stepping away.
Even if it's just for a shortwhile.
Each solitude serves as a mirrorto the other, reflecting on a
spectrum of emotions thatcaregiving can evoke.
(12:02):
Join us next time as we continueto navigate these dual journeys.
Well, Nicole, find her stride inher new role.
Well, Kathy reconcile her kneefor respite with the guilt of
leaving.
Explore these questions and morein our next episode of high
seas, respite.
Are you caring for someone youlove and feeling a bit
(12:24):
overwhelmed?
It's time to take a moment foryourself with the take care of
time.
Respite box.
Each take care of time andrespite box is filled with items
carefully chosen to Sue yourspirit, and rejuvenate your
senses from luxurious bath saltsand aromatic candles.
To soothing teas and inspiringbooks.
Each item is a gentle reminderto pause and replenish.
(12:47):
And now by monthly delivery.
Means that every other month, anew box of tranquility arrives
at your door, perfectly timed asa regular reminder that taking
care of yourself is just asimportant as taking care of
others.
Visit takecaretime.com tosubscribe.
Sign up today and use the promocode.
(13:07):
Take care to get 10% off yourfirst box that's promo code.
Take care.
To get 10% off your first box.
Remember?
When you take a moment torecharge, you're not just better
for yourself.
You're better for those that youlove.
Take your time respite boxbecause caregivers deserve care
(13:28):
too.
Please note that this episodefeatures reenactments and
dramatize details.
While in most cases, the exactverbatim dialogue may not be
known.
Oh, dramatizations are groundedin research.
To respect the privacy andconfidentiality of individuals
involved names and someidentifying details have been
changed.
(13:49):
Till next week.
Take care.
The word it's in.
The word is in.
The word Is it in.
The word Is it in.
The word is
Welcome back to take care oftime, the tails and exhales of
(00:02):
caregivers, where we dive deep,no pun intended, into the lives
of those who care for others?
I'm your host, Beverly Nance.
And today we embarked on parttwo.
Of our journey.
In our series.
Hi seas respite.
In this episode.
Which we will call deep waters.
We explore what happens.
(00:23):
When the unsung heroes of ourfamilies find themselves
overwhelmed and in need of theirown respite.
We'll follow Nicole, as shesteps into the role, she never
expected to play, that have aprimary caregiver to her mother,
Paula.
while her sister, Kathy.
Usually at the helm takes a muchneeded break.
Whether you're a longtimelistner or joining us for the
(00:44):
first time.
This story resonates with anyonewho's found themselves in the
shoes.
They never thought they'd fillso grab a comfortable seat.
And let's set sail.
On this eye opening voyagethrough the intricacies, the
family responsibility andpersonal growth.
And now without further ado,let's dive into deep waters.
Speaker (01:07):
Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh.
(01:33):
Uh.
It's early morning in Nicole'sapartment.
Contemporary.
And neatly organized.
Nicola sitting at the table withher laptop open in front of her.
A cup of coffee cooling andbeside it.
She dressed for work.
But her expression is tense.
Worried.
Two months prior to today.
(01:54):
Nicole's sister, Kathy calledher and informed her, not asked.
But informed her that she wouldhave to take care of their mom
for a couple of weeks becauseshe needed a break.
And now, two months later,Nicole is finally asking for
time off from her job.
Nicole has always prided herselfon her professional dedication,
rarely missing a day at themarketing firm.
(02:16):
where she's quickly risen.
Through the ranks.
But today she faces a situationthat her fast-paced job hasn't
prepared her for.
Stepping into her sister'sCathy's shoes to care for their
mother, Paula.
Nicole knows that she is not cutout for caregiving.
She's all about her career andclimbing the corporate ladder.
(02:37):
Now she has to make the call.
She's been dreading.
Uh, uh, Hi, Janice.
This is Nicole.
I need to speak with you.
about something.
it's important.
Do you have a moment?
Of course, Nicole, what's up.
I've had an urgent familysituation come up unexpectedly,
my sister has had to leave townsuddenly and I need to take over
(03:00):
caring for our mother.
It's quite urgent.
I'm going to need some time offeffective immediately.
Oh, I see.
I'm sorry to hear that Nichol.
How long do you think you'llneed?
I'm not entirely sure.
But it could be up to a week.
Perhaps two weeks.
I'm stepping into a fullcaregiving role and I just don't
(03:20):
know.
Um, I don't know how long mysister will be away.
We'll manage here from Nicole.
Family comes first.
Take the time that you need andjust keep us updated.
We can arrange for temporarycoverage of your projects.
Is there anything else that youneed from us?
Thank you, Janice.
I really appreciate it.
I, I might need to work remotelyfor a bit.
(03:44):
Even after I come back justwhile we figure things out.
That's perfectly fine.
We'll set up everything forremote access.
Just focus on your family fornow.
Relief washes over Nicole.
And as she closes her laptop,the immediate hurdles of
professional obligation.
Clear for the moment.
Although she wasn't completelyforthcoming with her boss.
(04:04):
At least she got that out of theway.
But as she glances at hermother's old family photo on the
wall, the gravity of what liesahead, begins to sink in.
It's no longer about boardroomsand brand strategies.
It's about medications, mealsand managing a household.
A new kind of challenge awaits.
(04:25):
Nicole hits for her bedroom topack a bag and head over to her
mom's place.
It's, early morning at Paula'scozy.
Well-kept home.
The sun is just rising casting,a soft light through the
curtains.
The house is quiet.
You start contrast to the usualmorning bustle when Kathy has
around.
As Nicole pulls into thedriveway of her mother's house.
If familiar site strikes adifferent chore today.
(04:47):
It's not just a place to drop byfor a quick visit or for our
Sunday dinner is now hertemporary command center.
Her base for the days ahead.
Mom is me, Nicole.
Stepping into the house.
Nicole feels a mix ofapprehension and resolve the air
is filled with a scent of freshcoffee.
And reminder of Kathy's morningroutines meticulously keeping
(05:11):
everything in order for theirmother.
Oh, Nicole, what a surprise.
It's Cathy with you.
No mom, it's just me this week.
Remember Kathy needed to take atrip.
I'm going to be here to helpout.
Nicole attempts to mimic themorning routine.
She seen Cathy performedcountless times as she pours out
the coffee that her mother triedto make, and starts a new pot
(05:35):
She measures the coffee grounds.
Her movements are hesitant.
Each step reminding her of hersister's usual, ease around the
kitchen.
Nicole and recognizes that hermother's memory.
Is in and out.
She'll she tries not to sayanything that may offend her
mom.
Her eyes scan the neatlyorganized notes Kathy left.
Guidelines on medications, mealplans and emergency contacts all
(05:58):
lined up next to the phone.
It's more than just a list.
It's a lifeline thrown to Nicolewho suddenly realizes the depth
of Kathy's daily commitment.
Okay, Nicole, you can do this.
It's just a few days.
So Nicole was talking toherself.
With a deep breath, Nicolefinishes making the coffee
(06:19):
carries two cups into the livingroom where Paula has settled
with her morning newspaper thesimple act of sharing coffee in
the morning, light.
Is there first shared at moment,of many to come this week.
As Nicole sits down beside hermother, the journey ahead looms
large, but so does theopportunity to connect to care
(06:41):
and to understand the world, hersister navigates every day.
Her first task is simple enoughbreakfast.
And morning medications.
Yet the labels on the pillbottles confuse her.
And Paula's dietary restrictionsare more complicated than Nicole
remembered.
As the morning progresses,Nicole's frustration mounts.
She struggles to maintain theroutine Kathy so seamlessly
(07:01):
managed.
Each small task rolls into achallenge and Paula's needs seem
to multiply by the hour.
By mid day, Nicole faces herfirst real test.
Paula becomes agitated.
Missing Cathy's familiarpresence.
Nicole filling out of debt.
Tries to sooth her usingtactics.
She thinks are appropriate, butour efforts fall short.
(07:24):
The weight of her sister's dailyreality begins to press out on
Nicole.
It's not just a physical task,but the emotional labor, the
constant attention.
And patients required thatstarts.
To open Nicole's eyes to theenormity of Kathy's role.
Nicole manages to make itthrough the day.
But as the sun sets on Nicole'sfirst day as Paula caregiver
(07:46):
exhaustion sets in.
But so does a new found respectfor Cathy?
Alone with her thoughts afterPaula finally goes to bed.
Nicole reflects on the day'shardships and what tomorrow
might bring.
The weight of the day'sresponsibilities sits heavy on
Nicole's shoulders.
Each task more daunting than thelast.
The room is now quiet.
(08:06):
Paula napping peacefully after ataxi morning.
It's in this rare moment of calmthat Nicole reaches her limit
the frustration, the isolationof caregiving becoming too much
for her to bear.
She doesn't understand how Kathydoes is, but she has so much
respect for her sister.
She decides to call her friend,just to get some things off her
chest.
(08:26):
www.
youtube.
com or www.
youtube.
com Hey, Nick.
What's up.Gailu sound tired.
Hey, yo.
Yeah, I'm at mom's covering forCathy.
It's just a lot harder than Ithought.
I don't know how Kathy does thisevery day without losing her
mind.
(08:46):
The toilet team, the baths.
My mom's memory is not what itused to be.
She even went out on the porchtoday and I thought she was
going to walk off.
I was so scared.
Oh, honey.
I can only imagine.
But you're doing somethingreally important.
Even if it feels overwhelming.
(09:07):
We'll talk about what happened.
Is everything from the meds.
Uh, scheduled.
So the meal prep.
Ah, and today mom had thisepisode.
She just got upset oversomething so small.
I felt so clueless Gail Ithought I could handle this, but
I feel like I'm failing her.
I'm failing Cathy.
(09:29):
You're not failing Nicole.
You're stepping up in a big wayand that's commendable.
But it sounds like you could usesome help or at least some
advice.
Have you talked to Kathy aboutwhat to do when things get
tough.
I can't, she's in the middle ofthe ocean, somewhere on a cruise
with a couple of her friends.
She left me a lot of notes butthere aren't any notes.
(09:50):
What to do when you'reexhausted.
It's okay to feel overwhelmed.
It's okay to ask for help.
You're doing your best andthat's all anyone could ask for.
Plus I'm here anytime.
Okay.
Let's figure this out together.
Thanks Gill.
It means a lot to hear.
I'll be okay.
I just need to lay down for aminute.
I really don't know how Kathydoes is every day.
(10:13):
Anytime Nick, hang in there.
And give me a shout out atanytime you need to fit.
You got this.
Armed with a little morecourage.
And feeling less alone, the coalprepares to face the rest of the
week.
With Gail's encouragement,echoey in her mind.
She's reminded.
There's not just about gettingthrough the day.
It's about learning and growingthrough her challenges.
(10:34):
Meanwhile miles away from thequiet.
Of Nicole's rest.
Kathy sits out on her balcony,aboard the cruise ship.
Her gaze is fixed on thehorizon.
Where the ocean meets the sky ina line of endless blue.
The salt air is fresh andvibrating.
They start contrast to the airback home that carries a sense
of responsibility and routine.
(10:58):
Whew.
This is what I needed.
But why do I feel like I'mabandoning them?
As Kathy sips on her Bahamamama.
The smooth rum mixed with thecrispness of the ocean breeze.
Does little to clear the fog ofguilt that clings to her.
Each way that breaks against thewhole sensei ripple of unease.
Her body is here, but her heartremains tethered to the home.
(11:20):
She temporarily left behind.
Kathy is aware of caregiver,self guilt.
She knows.
It's a common, emotionalexperience among caregivers.
Where they feel guilty orselfish for taking time to
attend to their own.
Physical emotional or socialneeds.
She takes another sip of herdrink.
And these moments of contractingsolitude.
(11:42):
Both sisters face their ownbattles.
No Cole grappling with the handson challenges.
Of caregiving and Kathywrestling with the emotional
turmoil.
Of stepping away.
Even if it's just for a shortwhile.
Each solitude serves as a mirrorto the other, reflecting on a
spectrum of emotions thatcaregiving can evoke.
(12:02):
Join us next time as we continueto navigate these dual journeys.
Well, Nicole, find her stride inher new role.
Well, Kathy reconcile her kneefor respite with the guilt of
leaving.
Explore these questions and morein our next episode of high
seas, respite.
Are you caring for someone youlove and feeling a bit
(12:24):
overwhelmed?
It's time to take a moment foryourself with the take care of
time.
Respite box.
Each take care of time andrespite box is filled with items
carefully chosen to Sue yourspirit, and rejuvenate your
senses from luxurious bath saltsand aromatic candles.
To soothing teas and inspiringbooks.
Each item is a gentle reminderto pause and replenish.
(12:47):
And now by monthly delivery.
Means that every other month, anew box of tranquility arrives
at your door, perfectly timed asa regular reminder that taking
care of yourself is just asimportant as taking care of
others.
Visit takecaretime.com tosubscribe.
Sign up today and use the promocode.
(13:07):
Take care to get 10% off yourfirst box that's promo code.
Take care.
To get 10% off your first box.
Remember?
When you take a moment torecharge, you're not just better
for yourself.
You're better for those that youlove.
Take your time respite boxbecause caregivers deserve care
(13:28):
too.
Please note that this episodefeatures reenactments and
dramatize details.
While in most cases, the exactverbatim dialogue may not be
known.
Oh, dramatizations are groundedin research.
To respect the privacy andconfidentiality of individuals
involved names and someidentifying details have been
changed.
(13:49):
Till next week.
Take care.
The word it's in.
The word is in.
The word Is it in.
The word Is it in.
The word is
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