Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Um, uh, Welcome back to takecare of time, the tales and
exhales of caregivers.
Where we dive into the rural ofcaregiving with stories,
insights, and plenty of heart.
Today, we're doing a littlesomething different instead of
our usual format, we're turningour spotlight on you our
(00:23):
listeners with a special Q and aepisode.
Over the past weeks since westarted this podcast we've
received, some fantasticquestions from our community and
I'm excited to address themtoday.
From practical caregiving tipsto behind the scenes podcast
secrets, no topic is off limits.
So let's dive right in.
(00:59):
Uh huh.
Our first question.
Is from April.
and April wants to know whatinspired me to start take care
(01:20):
of time podcast.
So I think that's absolutely agreat question.
And what inspired me.
A lot of people don't know, butyou know, now that take care of
time is an actual brand.
So there was already a brand inplace before we started the
podcast.
And the inspiration behindstarting the take care of time
podcasts stemmed from my deeppassion for caregiving and
(01:42):
desire to create a platformwhere caregivers can find
support and inspiration and asense of community.
I really want to encouragecaregivers to practice self care
because caregiving is hard.
I am the mother of an adultdaughter with autism.
So I've been her caregiver, herentire life.
And I know firsthand the tollthat it takes on you.
And I hate to say it like.
(02:04):
Toll, but it does take a toll onyou.
I've witnessed firsthand thechallenges and the joys and the
complexities that come alongwith caring for a loved one.
I want to channel my experiencesand my expertise into a podcast
that not only educates andinforms, but also provides a
space for caregivers to feelseen and heard.
So what better place than here?
(02:24):
I want caregivers to beunderstood I thought through
storytelling.
Interviews discussions we coulddo it that way.
Um, take care of time, also aimsto shed light on the diverse
experiences of caregiversbecause everybody's experience
is not the same.
So we offer practical advice andfoster, a sense of solidarity
among listeners..
(02:45):
Ultimately, My goal is toempower caregivers.
To navigate their journey withconfidence and compassion and
resilience.
So I hope that answers yourquestion.
The next question is fromConstance.
And Constance wants to know if Icould share a little bit about
my background.
Um, Experiencing caregiving andyes, Constance I will be happy
(03:06):
to do that.
Um, like I said, my previousquestion, I am the mother of an
adult daughter who has autism.
She's 30 years old.
She'll be 31 this year.
The majority of my experiencehas come from being a mother.
If you years ago, I took classesto become a certified caregiving
consultant, educator andadvocate.
And those certifications haveallowed me to expand my
(03:28):
business.
And become an author and meetother professionals in the
field.
So, thank you Constance for thatquestion.
Let's see here we have Joanne.
She wants to know some of thecommon challenges caregivers
face.
And how do you address them onthe podcast?
Well, Joanne so far the podcasthas just, been the tales so
(03:50):
we've done two series for you tolisten to.
And, you know, we'd, haven'treally expanded.
real big yet, but we are, wehave things that are coming in
the pipeline.
But, um, I will say this, thatone of the most pressing issues
facing caregivers today is themultitude.
Of challenges they encounter ona daily basis and it's coming
(04:11):
from all sides.
You know, you have to navigatethe healthcare systems and Your
own emotional well-being.
Caregivers often find themselvesin unchartered territory
sometimes, you know, it's notlike, you can look down.
The line in the future and say,okay, in this year, I'm going to
become a caregiver.
Sometimes you're just throwninto it.
And I'm really kind of speakingfor family caregivers.
(04:31):
It's not like we.
You know, we, a went and appliedfor this and we got accepted for
the job.
Sometimes you're just throwninto it.
Your parent, your mother orfather may get sick, or you may
have a child born and they mayhave a disability.
You don't know, you just don'tknow what's going to happen.
So at take care of time.
We aim to address thesechallenges, head on by providing
practical advice, expertinsights.
(04:52):
Relatable stories that resonatewith caregivers from all walks
of life.
The future episodes we'll tackledifferent aspects of caregiving.
Whether it's coping withcaregiver, burnout, advocating
for your loved one's needs.
from finding moments of joy,amiss the chaos.
By sharing diverse perspectivesand highlighting real life
experiences.
We hope to equip caregivers withthe knowledge, the tools and
(05:15):
support they need to navigatetheir caregiving journey with
confidence and resilience, andwe hope to educate and entertain
as well.
So the next question.
It is an anonymous.
I don't know why this isanonymous, but okay.
How do you choose the topics andstories featured on your
podcast?
So the two stories, um, that wehave done so far.
(05:37):
We're secondhand stories.
Someone told them to me.
So, what I do is I go in and Ichanged the names.
I changed the locations.
Because if it were my story, Imay not.
Mind somebody telling my story.
Second hand, some people do Alot of times there's guilt and
their shame behind decisionsthat you've made.
(05:59):
So it's just easier to leave offthe real names and the real
locations.
You know, unless it's alreadysomething in the newspapers or
something like that, that Idon't mind.
But, you know, so far we justhad those two series and they've
been about family caregiverexperiences in choosing the
wrong caregiver, which happensmore often than you could know.
Um, sometimes it turns out thehorribly disastrous.
(06:21):
And sometimes it's somethingthat you can bounce back from.
So the next question is what doI hope the listeners take away
from listening to the podcast?
Uh, increased awareness.
I hope this podcast encourageslisteners to become more aware.
Of the challenges faced bycaregivers and the complexities
of caring for individuals withvarious health conditions,
(06:44):
because.
You know, Dementia may bedifferent from autism or, and so
forth.
You know, Everybody's going toexperience something different.
And, you know, we hope to, getaround to addressing all those.
So the next question is from,Andrea.
(07:06):
I think as the Andrea, if it'snot, I apologize.
I'm not real good on pronouncingnames.
Okay and she wants to know whatdo our listeners, what do I hope
the listeners take away fromthis thing to the podcast?
And, I would say that it'sincreased awareness.
I want to encourage listeners tobecome more aware of the
challenges faced by caregivers.
A lot of that probably could besolved as lot of these agencies
(07:30):
and.
Um, How do I say this?
A lot of this.
challenges that we face arehaving to go in, try to apply
for things and being turneddown.
Not being given enoughinformation to properly apply
for it..
A lot of times people need helpin.
If you're thrown intocaregiving, you don't know.
(07:51):
What is your next step?
So, yeah, that's one of thethings, another thing would be
an empathy and understanding,which kind of falls under the
number one.
Um, foster empathy andunderstanding towards
caregivers, their patients, andtheir families.
Helping listeners recognize theemotional and physical and the
financial toll of caregiving,because there is a financial
toll with caregiving.
(08:12):
It's expensive.
Like that.
Expensive.
Practical insights, providepractical.
Insights and tips.
Resources and listeners canapply to their own lives,
whether they are caregiving forthemselves or supporting someone
who is a caregiver.
Inspiration, of course I wouldlike to inspire listeners with
stories of resilience,compassion, courage.
(08:35):
showing I, them that even in theface of adversity, there's hope
and strength.
That can be found.
Uh, we'd like to providecommunity and support, create a
sense of community and supportamong listeners.
Reminding them that they are notin this alone, everybody's
pretty much heard the, um, theterm that it takes a village.
Usually they're talking aboutraising kids, but even with
(08:57):
caregiving, it takes a village.
Sometimes one person may know ofresources that other person may
have never heard of.
So, you know, that's a goodthing.
Advocacy.
I've been an advocate for mydaughter.
On many occasions.
And her peer group as well.
I like to encourage listeners,to advocate for policies and
initiatives that supportcaregivers and improve access to
(09:19):
healthcare and support servicesfor patients and their families.
And a lot of that comes, down Tovoting and finally, um, I really
want to stress self care.
Because that is so important.
Taking care of yourself isessential for your well-being
and your ability to providequality care for others.
Otherwise you may end up beingthe one.
Needing care.
(09:41):
Okay, so the next question.
It's from John it's from a guy.
And I will say, I'm just sayingthat because, um, the majority
of caregivers are.
Women.
That's just the way it is.
But John could be listening foranother reason who we don't
know.
So John wants to know.
What advice do you have forcaregivers who may be struggling
(10:04):
or feeling overwhelmed?
That's a great question.
I would definitely say seeksupport.
I encourage caregivers to reachout, uh, For support from their
family, friends and supportgroups or professional
counselors even.
Sharing feelings and experienceswith others.
Who understand they couldprovide emotional relief and
practical advice.
Great question, John, prioritizeself care.
(10:26):
Like I just said that.
I emphasize the importance ofselfcare for caregivers, and
encourage them to carve out timefor activities that they enjoy.
If you give up everything thatyou enjoy, believe me, it's not
going to be, it's not going tobe long before.
You're wallowing in depression.
Practice a relaxationtechniques.
Maintain a healthy lifestyle andseek respite when needed.
(10:48):
It's hard to find respite.
I'm dealing with that myselfright now.
But sometimes you need a breakand you have to take your breaks
If you look on my website, thereis a blog that I put up a while
ago about, Respite at home andmight not be able to his title,
but that's what it is.
It's about finding a spot inyour home.
That's just for you.
Like for me, it's my office.
(11:09):
I come up to my office.
I have a lock on the door.
Yes.
Yes.
I have a lock.
With the key on the door,because this is just my space.
And when I come in here, I canjust feel the weight of the
world lifted off of me.
So create your, um, if you can'tget outside, respite, create a
space in your home for respite.
Maybe you can have somebody comein.
(11:29):
For one day a month.
Just give you a break.
You might just want to go on awalk.
You'd be surprised how justdoing something for yourself
makes you exhale is part of thetitle of this podcast gives you
that exhale.
So you, another thing would beto set realistic expectations.
Delegate responsibilities.
I would suggest that caregiversdelegate tasks to others when
(11:50):
possible.
Whether it's household chores,caregiving duties, or
administrative tasks, enlistingthe help of family and friends.
Or professional caregivers canlighten the load.
Don't try to take on everything.
Yourself or else you will be onthe fast highway to burnout.
Educate yourself For instance, Ihad to educate myself on autism.
(12:11):
Well, my daughter was diagnosedwith autism while.
I did was cry.
She was the first person I'veever known that had autism.
I didn't even know what autismwas.
So I had to educate myself andfind out.
What was available out there?
Who could I talk to?
You have to go and do that.
Nobody's going to do it for you.
You have to do it.
And if you need to seekprofessional help.
(12:31):
Don't be ashamed.
There are therapists,counselors, and support groups
that are waiting for you.
They got a seat for you.
And you can get some that arespecialized in caregiver
support.
They can provide valuableassistance and guidance.
Don't be adverse to it.
Try it, if you like it, this isone thing, but at least give it
a try.
Stay connected.
(12:52):
Don't just.
Disconnect from people.
I especially do that during thepandemic.
Um, A lot of times, connectionwith people and having a
conversation.
It can mean the world to you.
You could change your whole day.
Celebrate your small victories.
Don't just go down the rabbithole and like, oh, woe is me.
Sometimes you're going to havesmall victories.
(13:13):
I know my daughter, she firstlearned how to say a word.
She sees.
A few words now.
Those were small victories, butI celebrated those.
And I encourage all caregiversto celebrate and acknowledge the
small victories Okay.
So I do have some questionsabout the previous, podcasts
series that we did.
It was about Sarah who stole themoney from Mr.
Johnson.
(13:35):
And so someone else wanted toknow what motivated Sarah to
keep stealing money.
And I was just telling you it'sgambling.
She became a gambling addict.
Let me say this.
There are not a lot of gamblingaddicts in this world.
But there are some.
I'm not shamed to say I used toplay the horse since I usually
go out to the racetrack.
Del Mar San Anita and Hollywoodpark when it was open.
(13:57):
And I would, I loved playing therace track.
If they had a racetrack where Ilive now, I will be playing
horses, but I'm not a gamblingaddict.
Sarah stole money to keepgambling.
This is what she did.
She took Mr.
Johnson's money.
And rationalized that she wasonly borrowing the money.
To cover her gambling expenses.
However, If they kept piling upand then.
(14:20):
She was unable to pay it back.
I don't even think she got tothat point.
So, yeah, that is what motivatedSarah.
It was her addiction togambling.
So this series was kind of.
About Sarah's gambling.
And it also, it was about Mr.
Johnson who had Parkinson'sdisease, but, you know, it was
his money.
So therefore it was financialexploitation on Sarah's part.
(14:41):
Okay.
The next question was.
In hindsight, what red flagswere, Mr.
Johnson's family, like it saysin hindsight, what red flags
should Mr.
Johnson's family have noticedearlier and what can other
families learn from theirexperience?
Great question.
Because things always are inhindsight.
(15:03):
Mr.
Johnson's daughter's decision topress charges against Sarah
reflect.
The commitment to seekingjustice and holding her
accountable for her actions andby filing a formal complaint and
cooperating with lawenforcement.
They are taking the necessarysteps to ensure that Sarah.
This is legal consequences forher financial exploitation of
(15:24):
their father.
And this serves as a deterrentto others who may contemplate
similar acts of elder financialabuse.
Sending a clear message thatsuch behavior will not be
tolerated.
Sometimes you'll see thesestories on the news where
somebody either stole money orthey stole pills or they took
advantage of the person thatthey're posted to be taken care
(15:44):
of.
So.
Pursuing charges it, they mayhelp Mr.
Johnson's family recover some ofthe stolen funds maybe.
You know, the judge, did saythat she has to pay restitution,
but of course there was.
Broke now I'm not going to saybroke, but if you're stealing
money, you're probably broke.
So.
Additionally.
Their overall decision.
It demonstrates their dedicationto protect their father's rights
(16:07):
and seeking accountability orthe harm inflicted upon him.
But that's in hindsight.
Well, what could they have doneto begin with because sometimes,
you know, you have olderparents.
They don't think that theirmoney is your business.
So they don't want, you know,you all in their business.
But.
Looking back.
On Mr.
Johnson and Sarah storyline.
(16:28):
What lessons can kill you learnfrom that.
The primary takeaway from eachepisode is the importance of
vigilance and proactivemeasures.
If the family will let you.
Take over, not take over, but.
If the family will let you kindof monitor.
Their bank accounts.
You know, that's a hard thing.
Sometimes parents, they don'twant to give up.
There that information theydon't want to give their
(16:50):
driver's license.
All.
You're doing it out of love, butthey're thinking, oh my God,
you're trying to put me out topasture.
And that's not the case.
So, yeah.
With the person's permission,like Mr.
Johnson's daughters, With hispermission could have.
Got their names on his bankaccounts, or at least had the
bank statements mailed to theirhomes where they can go over and
(17:12):
see.
Where the abuse started and is,you know, is this transaction.
Exploitative or do you know thatcould have happened?
But through the stories ofshared listeners and are
reminded of all the prevalenceand the devastating impact of
elder financial abuse, it's outthere.
I hear it on the news all thetime.
By raising awareness of commontactics used by perpetrators,
(17:34):
such as caregivers and gamblingaddicts.
Listeners are empowered torecognize the warning signs and
take preventative action.
Additionally, the episodeshighlight the significance of
fostering open communicationwith your family, establishing
safeguards and seekingprofessional support when
needed.
Ultimately the goal is toinspire and, to prioritize the
wellbeing and financial securityof their elderly relatives,
(17:56):
advocating for their rights andimplementing strategies to
safeguard their assets fromexploitation.
And it's not just.
Sarah, the caregivers comingover to the house, it could have
been.
A financial advisor.
It could be family members.
You just never know.
These will thieve.
Let me put it like that.
Yeah, let me give you 10 waysthat you can guard against elder
(18:19):
financial abuse.
Number one stay involved andmaintain open communications
with your elderly relativesabout their finances.
If they'll let you if there'snot a whole lot of pushback,
just get involved with it.
Number two, set up regularmeetings to review financial
statements and transactions.
I would suggest as done monthly.
Especially, if you get a.
(18:40):
If they're getting a retirementcheck or social security,
something that is delivered tothem monthly, why not set up?
A.
Review.
For financial statements,monthly.
Number three would be toestablish a durable power of
attorney for financial matterswith a trusted individual.
If again, if it's your parents,if they'll, if they'll allow you
(19:01):
to.
Uh, that would be a great idea.
Number four would be to monitoryour bank accounts and credit
card statements for unusualactivity.
Sometimes they would just stackmail.
Not really looking at it.
So, yeah.
If you get something from yourbank, your credit card
statement, open that up and seewhat it is and go line by line
and make sure it's somethingthat they approved and not some
(19:22):
fraudulent activity.
There's so much of that going onnowadays.
You would well, I'm sure you seethe news stories.
Number five would be toimplement security measures,
such as passwords and securityquestions for financial
accounts.
And if they'll allow it.
Have their passwords.
So you can just kind of lookover their shoulders if you're
not in town where you can see.
(19:43):
If you guys are not in the samecity, Or even state where you
can put your hands on theirmail.
Monitor it online.
Number six.
Be cautious of unsolicitedoffers, scams or requests for
personal financial information.
We were at one time, my dad, Iforget the name of the company,
but he bought a bunch of thesepatties pants were like paper
thin.
(20:04):
And somehow he got on theirsubscription list.
They were just sending him thesepants every month.
Like, what are you doing?
And the pants.
We're just like tissue.
There were so thin.
They took advantage of him andput him on a subscription plan
when he was just trying to orderone pair of pants.
Those things can happen.
Number seven, educate elderlyrelatives about common scams and
(20:25):
warnings of financial abuse.
You see it on the news all thetime people are scamming and you
know, sometimes they'll call andthey'll say, uh, we have your
grandchild.
They're in jail or somethinglike that.
They have like a little AIvoice, you know?
My mom in jail.
Um, Next thing, you know,they've wiped out your bank
account.
So, yeah.
(20:46):
Educate your relatives aboutthat.
Number eight.
Consider consolidating yourfinancial accounts and
simplifying investments toreduce vulnerability.
Your stuff is with their stuff.
If they'll allow it, you know, Ikeep saying if they'll allow it
because you know, our parentsare prideful.
By parents went along with me,but.
Elderly people they're prideful.
(21:07):
They.
Probably feel like, you know,don't worry about it.
I can take care of my own stuffmeanwhile, you're like Mr.
Johnson, you're down 40,000,some dollars.
Number nine.
Uh, seek professional advicefrom financial planners or elder
law attorneys on protectivemeasures.
They probably have way moreinformation than I'm telling
you.
You could probably give you aconsultation to tell you how to
(21:28):
protect your parents or yourelderly relatives.
They've seen it all too.
Number 10 report, any suspiciousfinancial abuse to authorities
and seek legal recourse ofnecessary?
I would absolutely.
Had these people charged becauseotherwise they will just keep
them, they'll go from your dadto her mom and they'll just keep
(21:49):
going and going and going.
It's like they have all day tojust feel and scam.
So you gotta be careful aboutstuff like that.
So those are my tens strategies.
Want to thank and appreciate allof you for coming to our podcast
so far.
Please like, and share, and youcan rate it if you want.
And also you next week untilthen take care.
(22:27):
Uh huh.
Um, uh, Welcome back to takecare of time, the tales and
exhales of caregivers.
Where we dive into the rural ofcaregiving with stories,
insights, and plenty of heart.
Today, we're doing a littlesomething different instead of
our usual format, we're turningour spotlight on you our
(00:23):
listeners with a special Q and aepisode.
Over the past weeks since westarted this podcast we've
received, some fantasticquestions from our community and
I'm excited to address themtoday.
From practical caregiving tipsto behind the scenes podcast
secrets, no topic is off limits.
So let's dive right in.
(00:59):
Uh huh.
Our first question.
Is from April.
and April wants to know whatinspired me to start take care
(01:20):
of time podcast.
So I think that's absolutely agreat question.
And what inspired me.
A lot of people don't know, butyou know, now that take care of
time is an actual brand.
So there was already a brand inplace before we started the
podcast.
And the inspiration behindstarting the take care of time
podcasts stemmed from my deeppassion for caregiving and
(01:42):
desire to create a platformwhere caregivers can find
support and inspiration and asense of community.
I really want to encouragecaregivers to practice self care
because caregiving is hard.
I am the mother of an adultdaughter with autism.
So I've been her caregiver, herentire life.
And I know firsthand the tollthat it takes on you.
And I hate to say it like.
(02:04):
Toll, but it does take a toll onyou.
I've witnessed firsthand thechallenges and the joys and the
complexities that come alongwith caring for a loved one.
I want to channel my experiencesand my expertise into a podcast
that not only educates andinforms, but also provides a
space for caregivers to feelseen and heard.
So what better place than here?
(02:24):
I want caregivers to beunderstood I thought through
storytelling.
Interviews discussions we coulddo it that way.
Um, take care of time, also aimsto shed light on the diverse
experiences of caregiversbecause everybody's experience
is not the same.
So we offer practical advice andfoster, a sense of solidarity
among listeners..
(02:45):
Ultimately, My goal is toempower caregivers.
To navigate their journey withconfidence and compassion and
resilience.
So I hope that answers yourquestion.
The next question is fromConstance.
And Constance wants to know if Icould share a little bit about
my background.
Um, Experiencing caregiving andyes, Constance I will be happy
(03:06):
to do that.
Um, like I said, my previousquestion, I am the mother of an
adult daughter who has autism.
She's 30 years old.
She'll be 31 this year.
The majority of my experiencehas come from being a mother.
If you years ago, I took classesto become a certified caregiving
consultant, educator andadvocate.
And those certifications haveallowed me to expand my
(03:28):
business.
And become an author and meetother professionals in the
field.
So, thank you Constance for thatquestion.
Let's see here we have Joanne.
She wants to know some of thecommon challenges caregivers
face.
And how do you address them onthe podcast?
Well, Joanne so far the podcasthas just, been the tales so
(03:50):
we've done two series for you tolisten to.
And, you know, we'd, haven'treally expanded.
real big yet, but we are, wehave things that are coming in
the pipeline.
But, um, I will say this, thatone of the most pressing issues
facing caregivers today is themultitude.
Of challenges they encounter ona daily basis and it's coming
(04:11):
from all sides.
You know, you have to navigatethe healthcare systems and Your
own emotional well-being.
Caregivers often find themselvesin unchartered territory
sometimes, you know, it's notlike, you can look down.
The line in the future and say,okay, in this year, I'm going to
become a caregiver.
Sometimes you're just throwninto it.
And I'm really kind of speakingfor family caregivers.
(04:31):
It's not like we.
You know, we, a went and appliedfor this and we got accepted for
the job.
Sometimes you're just throwninto it.
Your parent, your mother orfather may get sick, or you may
have a child born and they mayhave a disability.
You don't know, you just don'tknow what's going to happen.
So at take care of time.
We aim to address thesechallenges, head on by providing
practical advice, expertinsights.
(04:52):
Relatable stories that resonatewith caregivers from all walks
of life.
The future episodes we'll tackledifferent aspects of caregiving.
Whether it's coping withcaregiver, burnout, advocating
for your loved one's needs.
from finding moments of joy,amiss the chaos.
By sharing diverse perspectivesand highlighting real life
experiences.
We hope to equip caregivers withthe knowledge, the tools and
(05:15):
support they need to navigatetheir caregiving journey with
confidence and resilience, andwe hope to educate and entertain
as well.
So the next question.
It is an anonymous.
I don't know why this isanonymous, but okay.
How do you choose the topics andstories featured on your
podcast?
So the two stories, um, that wehave done so far.
(05:37):
We're secondhand stories.
Someone told them to me.
So, what I do is I go in and Ichanged the names.
I changed the locations.
Because if it were my story, Imay not.
Mind somebody telling my story.
Second hand, some people do Alot of times there's guilt and
their shame behind decisionsthat you've made.
(05:59):
So it's just easier to leave offthe real names and the real
locations.
You know, unless it's alreadysomething in the newspapers or
something like that, that Idon't mind.
But, you know, so far we justhad those two series and they've
been about family caregiverexperiences in choosing the
wrong caregiver, which happensmore often than you could know.
Um, sometimes it turns out thehorribly disastrous.
(06:21):
And sometimes it's somethingthat you can bounce back from.
So the next question is what doI hope the listeners take away
from listening to the podcast?
Uh, increased awareness.
I hope this podcast encourageslisteners to become more aware.
Of the challenges faced bycaregivers and the complexities
of caring for individuals withvarious health conditions,
(06:44):
because.
You know, Dementia may bedifferent from autism or, and so
forth.
You know, Everybody's going toexperience something different.
And, you know, we hope to, getaround to addressing all those.
So the next question is from,Andrea.
(07:06):
I think as the Andrea, if it'snot, I apologize.
I'm not real good on pronouncingnames.
Okay and she wants to know whatdo our listeners, what do I hope
the listeners take away fromthis thing to the podcast?
And, I would say that it'sincreased awareness.
I want to encourage listeners tobecome more aware of the
challenges faced by caregivers.
A lot of that probably could besolved as lot of these agencies
(07:30):
and.
Um, How do I say this?
A lot of this.
challenges that we face arehaving to go in, try to apply
for things and being turneddown.
Not being given enoughinformation to properly apply
for it..
A lot of times people need helpin.
If you're thrown intocaregiving, you don't know.
(07:51):
What is your next step?
So, yeah, that's one of thethings, another thing would be
an empathy and understanding,which kind of falls under the
number one.
Um, foster empathy andunderstanding towards
caregivers, their patients, andtheir families.
Helping listeners recognize theemotional and physical and the
financial toll of caregiving,because there is a financial
toll with caregiving.
(08:12):
It's expensive.
Like that.
Expensive.
Practical insights, providepractical.
Insights and tips.
Resources and listeners canapply to their own lives,
whether they are caregiving forthemselves or supporting someone
who is a caregiver.
Inspiration, of course I wouldlike to inspire listeners with
stories of resilience,compassion, courage.
(08:35):
showing I, them that even in theface of adversity, there's hope
and strength.
That can be found.
Uh, we'd like to providecommunity and support, create a
sense of community and supportamong listeners.
Reminding them that they are notin this alone, everybody's
pretty much heard the, um, theterm that it takes a village.
Usually they're talking aboutraising kids, but even with
(08:57):
caregiving, it takes a village.
Sometimes one person may know ofresources that other person may
have never heard of.
So, you know, that's a goodthing.
Advocacy.
I've been an advocate for mydaughter.
On many occasions.
And her peer group as well.
I like to encourage listeners,to advocate for policies and
initiatives that supportcaregivers and improve access to
(09:19):
healthcare and support servicesfor patients and their families.
And a lot of that comes, down Tovoting and finally, um, I really
want to stress self care.
Because that is so important.
Taking care of yourself isessential for your well-being
and your ability to providequality care for others.
Otherwise you may end up beingthe one.
Needing care.
(09:41):
Okay, so the next question.
It's from John it's from a guy.
And I will say, I'm just sayingthat because, um, the majority
of caregivers are.
Women.
That's just the way it is.
But John could be listening foranother reason who we don't
know.
So John wants to know.
What advice do you have forcaregivers who may be struggling
(10:04):
or feeling overwhelmed?
That's a great question.
I would definitely say seeksupport.
I encourage caregivers to reachout, uh, For support from their
family, friends and supportgroups or professional
counselors even.
Sharing feelings and experienceswith others.
Who understand they couldprovide emotional relief and
practical advice.
Great question, John, prioritizeself care.
(10:26):
Like I just said that.
I emphasize the importance ofselfcare for caregivers, and
encourage them to carve out timefor activities that they enjoy.
If you give up everything thatyou enjoy, believe me, it's not
going to be, it's not going tobe long before.
You're wallowing in depression.
Practice a relaxationtechniques.
Maintain a healthy lifestyle andseek respite when needed.
(10:48):
It's hard to find respite.
I'm dealing with that myselfright now.
But sometimes you need a breakand you have to take your breaks
If you look on my website, thereis a blog that I put up a while
ago about, Respite at home andmight not be able to his title,
but that's what it is.
It's about finding a spot inyour home.
That's just for you.
Like for me, it's my office.
(11:09):
I come up to my office.
I have a lock on the door.
Yes.
Yes.
I have a lock.
With the key on the door,because this is just my space.
And when I come in here, I canjust feel the weight of the
world lifted off of me.
So create your, um, if you can'tget outside, respite, create a
space in your home for respite.
Maybe you can have somebody comein.
(11:29):
For one day a month.
Just give you a break.
You might just want to go on awalk.
You'd be surprised how justdoing something for yourself
makes you exhale is part of thetitle of this podcast gives you
that exhale.
So you, another thing would beto set realistic expectations.
Delegate responsibilities.
I would suggest that caregiversdelegate tasks to others when
(11:50):
possible.
Whether it's household chores,caregiving duties, or
administrative tasks, enlistingthe help of family and friends.
Or professional caregivers canlighten the load.
Don't try to take on everything.
Yourself or else you will be onthe fast highway to burnout.
Educate yourself For instance, Ihad to educate myself on autism.
(12:11):
Well, my daughter was diagnosedwith autism while.
I did was cry.
She was the first person I'veever known that had autism.
I didn't even know what autismwas.
So I had to educate myself andfind out.
What was available out there?
Who could I talk to?
You have to go and do that.
Nobody's going to do it for you.
You have to do it.
And if you need to seekprofessional help.
(12:31):
Don't be ashamed.
There are therapists,counselors, and support groups
that are waiting for you.
They got a seat for you.
And you can get some that arespecialized in caregiver
support.
They can provide valuableassistance and guidance.
Don't be adverse to it.
Try it, if you like it, this isone thing, but at least give it
a try.
Stay connected.
(12:52):
Don't just.
Disconnect from people.
I especially do that during thepandemic.
Um, A lot of times, connectionwith people and having a
conversation.
It can mean the world to you.
You could change your whole day.
Celebrate your small victories.
Don't just go down the rabbithole and like, oh, woe is me.
Sometimes you're going to havesmall victories.
(13:13):
I know my daughter, she firstlearned how to say a word.
She sees.
A few words now.
Those were small victories, butI celebrated those.
And I encourage all caregiversto celebrate and acknowledge the
small victories Okay.
So I do have some questionsabout the previous, podcasts
series that we did.
It was about Sarah who stole themoney from Mr.
Johnson.
(13:35):
And so someone else wanted toknow what motivated Sarah to
keep stealing money.
And I was just telling you it'sgambling.
She became a gambling addict.
Let me say this.
There are not a lot of gamblingaddicts in this world.
But there are some.
I'm not shamed to say I used toplay the horse since I usually
go out to the racetrack.
Del Mar San Anita and Hollywoodpark when it was open.
(13:57):
And I would, I loved playing therace track.
If they had a racetrack where Ilive now, I will be playing
horses, but I'm not a gamblingaddict.
Sarah stole money to keepgambling.
This is what she did.
She took Mr.
Johnson's money.
And rationalized that she wasonly borrowing the money.
To cover her gambling expenses.
However, If they kept piling upand then.
(14:20):
She was unable to pay it back.
I don't even think she got tothat point.
So, yeah, that is what motivatedSarah.
It was her addiction togambling.
So this series was kind of.
About Sarah's gambling.
And it also, it was about Mr.
Johnson who had Parkinson'sdisease, but, you know, it was
his money.
So therefore it was financialexploitation on Sarah's part.
(14:41):
Okay.
The next question was.
In hindsight, what red flagswere, Mr.
Johnson's family, like it saysin hindsight, what red flags
should Mr.
Johnson's family have noticedearlier and what can other
families learn from theirexperience?
Great question.
Because things always are inhindsight.
(15:03):
Mr.
Johnson's daughter's decision topress charges against Sarah
reflect.
The commitment to seekingjustice and holding her
accountable for her actions andby filing a formal complaint and
cooperating with lawenforcement.
They are taking the necessarysteps to ensure that Sarah.
This is legal consequences forher financial exploitation of
(15:24):
their father.
And this serves as a deterrentto others who may contemplate
similar acts of elder financialabuse.
Sending a clear message thatsuch behavior will not be
tolerated.
Sometimes you'll see thesestories on the news where
somebody either stole money orthey stole pills or they took
advantage of the person thatthey're posted to be taken care
(15:44):
of.
So.
Pursuing charges it, they mayhelp Mr.
Johnson's family recover some ofthe stolen funds maybe.
You know, the judge, did saythat she has to pay restitution,
but of course there was.
Broke now I'm not going to saybroke, but if you're stealing
money, you're probably broke.
So.
Additionally.
Their overall decision.
It demonstrates their dedicationto protect their father's rights
(16:07):
and seeking accountability orthe harm inflicted upon him.
But that's in hindsight.
Well, what could they have doneto begin with because sometimes,
you know, you have olderparents.
They don't think that theirmoney is your business.
So they don't want, you know,you all in their business.
But.
Looking back.
On Mr.
Johnson and Sarah storyline.
(16:28):
What lessons can kill you learnfrom that.
The primary takeaway from eachepisode is the importance of
vigilance and proactivemeasures.
If the family will let you.
Take over, not take over, but.
If the family will let you kindof monitor.
Their bank accounts.
You know, that's a hard thing.
Sometimes parents, they don'twant to give up.
There that information theydon't want to give their
(16:50):
driver's license.
All.
You're doing it out of love, butthey're thinking, oh my God,
you're trying to put me out topasture.
And that's not the case.
So, yeah.
With the person's permission,like Mr.
Johnson's daughters, With hispermission could have.
Got their names on his bankaccounts, or at least had the
bank statements mailed to theirhomes where they can go over and
(17:12):
see.
Where the abuse started and is,you know, is this transaction.
Exploitative or do you know thatcould have happened?
But through the stories ofshared listeners and are
reminded of all the prevalenceand the devastating impact of
elder financial abuse, it's outthere.
I hear it on the news all thetime.
By raising awareness of commontactics used by perpetrators,
(17:34):
such as caregivers and gamblingaddicts.
Listeners are empowered torecognize the warning signs and
take preventative action.
Additionally, the episodeshighlight the significance of
fostering open communicationwith your family, establishing
safeguards and seekingprofessional support when
needed.
Ultimately the goal is toinspire and, to prioritize the
wellbeing and financial securityof their elderly relatives,
(17:56):
advocating for their rights andimplementing strategies to
safeguard their assets fromexploitation.
And it's not just.
Sarah, the caregivers comingover to the house, it could have
been.
A financial advisor.
It could be family members.
You just never know.
These will thieve.
Let me put it like that.
Yeah, let me give you 10 waysthat you can guard against elder
(18:19):
financial abuse.
Number one stay involved andmaintain open communications
with your elderly relativesabout their finances.
If they'll let you if there'snot a whole lot of pushback,
just get involved with it.
Number two, set up regularmeetings to review financial
statements and transactions.
I would suggest as done monthly.
Especially, if you get a.
(18:40):
If they're getting a retirementcheck or social security,
something that is delivered tothem monthly, why not set up?
A.
Review.
For financial statements,monthly.
Number three would be toestablish a durable power of
attorney for financial matterswith a trusted individual.
If again, if it's your parents,if they'll, if they'll allow you
(19:01):
to.
Uh, that would be a great idea.
Number four would be to monitoryour bank accounts and credit
card statements for unusualactivity.
Sometimes they would just stackmail.
Not really looking at it.
So, yeah.
If you get something from yourbank, your credit card
statement, open that up and seewhat it is and go line by line
and make sure it's somethingthat they approved and not some
(19:22):
fraudulent activity.
There's so much of that going onnowadays.
You would well, I'm sure you seethe news stories.
Number five would be toimplement security measures,
such as passwords and securityquestions for financial
accounts.
And if they'll allow it.
Have their passwords.
So you can just kind of lookover their shoulders if you're
not in town where you can see.
(19:43):
If you guys are not in the samecity, Or even state where you
can put your hands on theirmail.
Monitor it online.
Number six.
Be cautious of unsolicitedoffers, scams or requests for
personal financial information.
We were at one time, my dad, Iforget the name of the company,
but he bought a bunch of thesepatties pants were like paper
thin.
(20:04):
And somehow he got on theirsubscription list.
They were just sending him thesepants every month.
Like, what are you doing?
And the pants.
We're just like tissue.
There were so thin.
They took advantage of him andput him on a subscription plan
when he was just trying to orderone pair of pants.
Those things can happen.
Number seven, educate elderlyrelatives about common scams and
(20:25):
warnings of financial abuse.
You see it on the news all thetime people are scamming and you
know, sometimes they'll call andthey'll say, uh, we have your
grandchild.
They're in jail or somethinglike that.
They have like a little AIvoice, you know?
My mom in jail.
Um, Next thing, you know,they've wiped out your bank
account.
So, yeah.
(20:46):
Educate your relatives aboutthat.
Number eight.
Consider consolidating yourfinancial accounts and
simplifying investments toreduce vulnerability.
Your stuff is with their stuff.
If they'll allow it, you know, Ikeep saying if they'll allow it
because you know, our parentsare prideful.
By parents went along with me,but.
Elderly people they're prideful.
(21:07):
They.
Probably feel like, you know,don't worry about it.
I can take care of my own stuffmeanwhile, you're like Mr.
Johnson, you're down 40,000,some dollars.
Number nine.
Uh, seek professional advicefrom financial planners or elder
law attorneys on protectivemeasures.
They probably have way moreinformation than I'm telling
you.
You could probably give you aconsultation to tell you how to
(21:28):
protect your parents or yourelderly relatives.
They've seen it all too.
Number 10 report, any suspiciousfinancial abuse to authorities
and seek legal recourse ofnecessary?
I would absolutely.
Had these people charged becauseotherwise they will just keep
them, they'll go from your dadto her mom and they'll just keep
(21:49):
going and going and going.
It's like they have all day tojust feel and scam.
So you gotta be careful aboutstuff like that.
So those are my tens strategies.
Want to thank and appreciate allof you for coming to our podcast
so far.
Please like, and share, and youcan rate it if you want.
And also you next week untilthen take care.
(22:27):
Uh huh.
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