March 17, 2025 • 44 mins
March Madness takes on new meaning as we tackle the wild journey of menopause with humor, wisdom, and refreshing honesty. Joined by special guest Lovella, a healthcare communications expert with personal experience navigating "the change," we break down the physical, emotional, and relationship dynamics of this transformative life phase.
What begins as a candid conversation about hot flashes and hormone therapy quickly evolves into a deeper exploration of how menopause reshapes women's relationships with their bodies, partners, and sense of self. "When the plane is crashing, you don't know that," Lovella explains, perfectly capturing how menopause can feel from the inside while appearing like "bad behavior" from the outside. Together, we dismantle misconceptions about treatment options, physical changes, and the psychological impact of society's youth-obsessed culture on women experiencing menopause.
Beyond symptoms, our discussion reveals the unexpected gifts menopause brings – increased patience, deeper wisdom, and greater authenticity. We offer practical advice for managing everything from brain fog to decreased libido, while emphasizing the importance of partner education and communication. Whether you're approaching menopause, currently navigating it, or supporting someone who is, this episode provides both comfort and actionable strategies for embracing this significant life transition with grace and strength.
Discover why half the population deserves more than silence around this universal experience. Listen, learn, and share – because knowledge truly is power when it comes to understanding and supporting women through menopause.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hey, it's Jen the Builder and Cory, and welcome
everyone.
To Take the Elevator, cory.
I think this is like the 253rdepisode.
How about three?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
353.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yeah now you're about right.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yeah, I can't believe it and I'm so excited about
today's episode because we havea third person in the studio
with us today indeed a verybright, vibrant, energetic
person that has a lot of goodinformation and knowledge she's
going to share with us, andwe're just so delighted to have
her in the studio with us today.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
That's right.
So if you're new to Take theElevator, just want to put it
out there that this is a podcastwhere we take everyday topics
and we elevate it to higherperspective and we love
community, we love people and welove positivity and just
encouraging our friends.
So we're actually going to take.
It's March Madness, corey.
(01:08):
What is typically March MadnessBasketball.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yes, and I say that with that drab voice because I
just can't watch sports Like Icould play them when I was
younger and I still could if Ireally wanted to today, but it
just doesn't excite me.
Now.
A March Madness podcast.
I think this is going to beexciting for a lot of people, so
I'm looking forward to this one.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, but I promise no one knows what this March
Madness is today I do, andthat's why we have Lovella here,
and so we're going to talkabout March Madness, menopause
oh my gosh.
Yeah, and what that game lookslike, and the full on court
pressure in your emotions, yourmental health, your body,
(01:49):
everything.
So please welcome Lovella tothe elevator.
Hey Lovella, it's good to haveyou here.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Hey there.
It's a pleasure to be here.
I'm really it's strangely very,very excited about today's
topic.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah Right, I don't think we hear it enough, but I
know you've plugged intomultiple things regarding it, so
I think it's so appropriatethat you're here, but why don't
you go ahead and tell everyone alittle bit about yourself,
anything that you want us toknow?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Well, gosh, you know, at my age I'm fine.
But I have to laugh when yousay kind of plugged into
menopause and I'm like what doyou mean?
Because I've like I'm in it andI've gone through it and I'm
still in it and I'm still gonethrough it.
So, bella Sullivan, I'm notgoing to say how old I am.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
And you know that I'm going through menopause.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
That's enough.
She's 25.
I am, I'm 25.
Early onset of menopause 25times.
You know two points, somethingor other.
So I have an illustrioushealthcare marketing and
communications career.
At one point I was a VP of theover seven hospitals for
(02:59):
communications and I think whatattracts me most to this podcast
really is how you take thoseeveryday subjects and you're
always telling people to takethat elevator and that's
something that, with all of mymany teams that I've had in my
career is that that just givesme such joy is to bring that to
(03:23):
my teams, right, because everyindividual that we work with is
different, but I love being ableto show people what their
skillset is and then just liketurn them loose.
I love to say that I've traineda COO.
It's just, it's great stuff.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Indeed, and I'm going to say this upfront, front and
out the gate that everyone thatis seasoned, or older, or mature
is not wise.
But this woman is very wise andhas a vast amount of knowledge.
She just told you she was a VPover seven hospitals.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I had seven, three different markets.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Goodness that's some good stuff right there.
We're going to have a lot offun today, guys.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, and so let me give an intro on how this came
up.
So lovella and cory and I, wework together and we've done
some projects together, maybeindirectly, but our teams work
very closely together, right?
So I, I don't even rememberexactly what it is, but I think
lovelle asked me how are you?
(04:23):
And I said I'm menopausal, likeI don't even remember exactly
what it is, but I think Lovellasked me how are you and I said
I'm menopausal.
Today's just one of those daysLoaded question and so we just
started talking about that.
And you're really easy to openup to At least you have been for
me and so I just think theworld of you not just as who you
are, as a leader, but also as aperson.
So it was easy to tell Lavellalike hot flashes, like how are
(04:47):
you coping, how are you doingall this?
And it feels good when there'ssomeone who's going through what
you're going through and youdon't feel crazy by yourself.
And so, as we were talkingabout it, I said Lavella, we got
to do like March MadnessMenopause, and she got lit up
and when people get you know,understand where you're coming
from, they're just like let's doit.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Oh, I love it and.
I'm like you're going to callit March Madness.
Oh my goodness, that's perfect,right.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
So let's talk about why we're having this
conversation.
First of all, I don't know ifmany people know this, but half
the population is going to gothrough menopause and I just
can't believe that there's notenough women talking about this.
I talk about menopause to mydaughter all the time, so she's
411 on what's about to happenand it doesn't come as a shock,
(05:41):
right?
So today we're going to dive into the symptoms, the emotions,
the coping strategies and how wecan support each other through
this wild ride.
And, corey, what is yourpurpose?
In March, madness, menopauseDay, what can we expect from?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
you.
I'm so glad you asked.
I've been asked this questionthree times and I refused to
answer until I was actually here.
So my role today is to ask thetough questions, the important
questions.
Not only that I've been aparticipant in this March
Madness Menopause for muchlonger than just March Pretty
much, man.
I don't even want to say howmany years I've endured this,
(06:21):
but when I say that I'm notbeing mean, what I'm actually
saying is that it's a real thingand people don't recognize it
as a real thing.
So I just I'm here to support,but I most want to ask questions
so that I can get a little bitmore clarity and help some
people that's out there.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Let's help our men out there and women who are
experiencing, women who are on,who are menopausal.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
First of all, can I'm gonna just start the
questioning right away and jumpin head first.
Lovella, what is menopause toyou?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
that's deep, he just like right out of the ballpark
with that.
Oh, that's another sports thingright, yeah, that's not.
Clearly, I'm not a sportsfollower either, so I am my own
sport.
Um so menopause, um to me.
So growing up, a quick history.
So again I'm, I'm like olderthan tornadoes.
(07:16):
So growing up, I had oldparents to begin with.
So my mom was 36, um, when shehad me.
So she was going throughmenopause when I was just kind
of hitting puberty, and so itwas in the household that I grew
up very Southern.
I grew up here in SouthernCalifornia, but my parents are
(07:37):
from Texas, so it's verySouthern.
You don't talk about thosethings, it's just it's a woman's
thing.
So there wasn't a lot ofeducation.
I'm aware of menopause, Iunderstand what it is, I went to
school, but for me, menopause.
So when I first admitted, okay,I'm, you know, premenopausal,
(07:58):
uh, oh, my gosh, I'm in my prime.
That's not possible.
I just felt like you know,everything's drying up, I'm
going to die.
This is like the second half ofmy life.
I've hit the peak and now it'sall downhill and it's just going
to snowball.
And so that was my first.
When you get told that.
(08:18):
And then I have to say, and I'mstill in menopause, it's great.
I mean there's horrible thingsin the sweats and all of the
symptoms and everybodyexperiences that in a different
way, to a different degree.
But I'm actually um with the,the education and the research
(08:41):
that I've done on that, I feel.
So I think knowledge right, Iguess.
For me it's like knowledge ispower.
So the more that I understoodwhat my body was doing and where
I was headed to this beautifulpost-menopausal land, which I
can't wait to be there becauseit opens up different things.
So, like the way I look at itis like pre-pubescent you have
(09:02):
no idea what's coming.
And then you know you get thatwonderful monthly cycle and
you're growing up, and that'sgreat and that's horrible.
I'm so glad that that's goneright, I was very thankful that
that was gone, but it's just.
it's just a different stage andI I feel like I'm coming into
like some of the best times ofmy life, but I appreciate every
(09:24):
piece that's come before that.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Beautifully explained , yeah, so I'm going to explain
from a nurse's perspective, justin case people don't quite
understand.
So menopause is officially adiagnosis when a woman goes 12
months consecutive without aperiod or menstruation, and then
you could say, yes, this isthat moment, because there is a
(09:47):
release and a relief when you dohave your period, so you're
without that.
But what some of us don'trealize is there's a time before
menopause where it'sperimenopause, so there are
symptoms that start to creepbefore and then.
So it happens during, and then,as you mentioned, novella,
(10:07):
there's the postmenopause.
And when you said, I thought,oh, that sounds like paradise or
the promised land, even likeyou know, because sometimes it
can feel that intense and it canhappen as early.
I've heard women who start late30s, early 40s and and so it's
just different.
That's the thing about this isfor everyone it's different yeah
(10:30):
so what I may be experiencingisn't what lovell is going
through, and so you can pick upwisdom, you can pick up tips and
how you cope and what you do,um, and then there are other
things that you've got to figureout for yourself, right, right.
So that's pretty much menopause.
It's a rollercoaster of a ride.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
So it always changes.
Yeah, right, so you can be inmenopause and you know, for a
year or two you're like oh, Idon't have night sweats and I
don't have.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Oh, that's not me.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
I'm so lucky.
And then Kaboom, yes Right.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
So I'm going to ask one more question.
Yeah, so I didn't know thatthere was hormone therapy.
There was oils and ointmentsand teas and all these other
things that you can do to eitherrelieve the symptoms or
sometimes soothe the symptoms.
Is anybody practicing that andif so, or if not, you know?
(11:33):
Did you know about it and howhas it helped?
Or not even interested?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Okay, so I'll talk to that.
And then I know Lavella hasgreat information on this.
So I'm not on hormone therapyand I am an advocate for women
making their choices ontreatment or non-treatment for
women making their choices ontreatment or non-treatment.
(12:00):
I'm more on the holistic sideand trying other things first,
like tea oils and things likethat.
Changing diet actually reallyhelps too with hot flashes,
right.
So more fruits and vegetables,non-processed foods have really
helped.
So that's where I'm going tostay and I'm going to say this.
I didn't share this with you,lavella, but my doctor said, jen
(12:21):
, women typically.
And he goes I know I'm a male,so don't take this like what.
Would you know You're a guy?
Is that right away when we gothrough menopause?
That's the oh.
I'm feeling this way becauseit's menopause, or I'm getting
weight because it's menopausewhen we're not looking at our
whole lifestyle.
And he says, through time,through the ages, as we age, the
(12:45):
body naturally in its state ofthe way it was created, is their
home hormones decrease.
This is normal.
It wasn't until medicine cameinto effect that now we want to
supplement those lost hormones.
And he goes and I think there'ssomething to be said about that
, because there's beauty in theaging process and it's almost as
if we were meant to go throughit, and it shows more of our
(13:10):
resilience as human beings andespecially as women.
So that's my stand on it.
Right now, I don't know how myjourney is going to change, and
I might be.
I want hormones now.
This is too intense, but eitherway, there's no judgment on
whether you take it or not, butwith anything, like we've always
said on, take the Elevator isget educated.
Lavella, you said knowledge ispower.
(13:31):
For sure, look into thingsbefore you jump into things,
right?
So I don't know what treatmentyou're, um, you've heard of or
what you're doing, lavella, butI'm here to learn from you too.
Yeah, let's hear it.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Everybody's experience is a little different
.
So, um, I'm not on any hormonetherapy, um, but I do have a
fantastic natural medicinedoctor, and so I these wonderful
little, you know menopausedrops, which are very helpful,
but it nothing is going to takeeverything away, right, and
you'll see, like just when, inmy case, with the um, the night
(14:10):
sweats or the hot flashes.
A lot of my hot flashes werepart menopause, part stress.
So I will still get a hot flashif I am superbly stressed, so
can I blame menopause, because Iget that hot flash before.
So I'm not on any therapies, butI have.
I've done a lot of researchthere.
(14:37):
Like I was sharing with you, jen.
There's a masterclass rightWith Halle Berry and and several
um kind of test subject ladieswho kind of share their story,
and then a handful of physicianswho shared um information that
was brand new to me.
You know we're going throughmenopause but um it, I learned
that for me.
I'll back up for the, theholistic approach to that.
(14:58):
I'm not a fan of fake hormonesand weird things in my food and
the older I get, the more Irealize, um, you know all of the
damage that's been done to youknow my body and with the fast
food and the convenience and youknow running wild with a kid
and being, you know crazy thatwe are, that we're work, um, so
(15:19):
I I'm seeing now the benefits ofmore clean eating and things
like that.
So is that making a difference?
I feel that it is Um, and soI'm going to go with it because
it works for me.
Um, but I've done.
I'm not a big hormone kind ofperson.
I'm not a give me a pill andthen give me a pill, for you
know what those side effectswere.
(15:39):
So what I learned in thatmasterclass was that there's
this big fear of oh, if you takehormones you're going to get
cancer.
So you know, that kind ofsteered me away from it.
But what I learned was thatit's like some ridiculously
teeny tiny percentage.
(15:59):
Those hormones that are inthose medications are really not
tied to cervical cancer andbreast cancer I would.
I mean, I'm not a physician.
I would absolutely suggest thateverybody kind of goes and does
their own research, but it'snot and not and I that was kind
of a shocker for me.
I'm not a big PMU person.
(16:21):
Pmu is in a lot of themedications.
That's the pregnant mare urineand I'm not a fan of how they
collect that.
As you know, jen, I have horsesand fun things like that.
So I'm not a that I'm not a fanof of fan of that for my own
personal reasons.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Oh, I'm so tempted I got it For all the men that are
listening, because there's justno way we would ever know this
answer.
So, for all the symptoms thatwomen have, how many of those
are misdiagnosed from just badbehavior or a bad attitude?
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I'm sorry, I just had to laugh because you're
correlating our symptoms to badbehavior, bad mental health.
I think that's so cute, so I dowant to get there.
It's so funny Because I wasgoing to ask you and I think
this question, your answer mightsegue into this.
Okay, because I thought, well,lavelle and I could talk about
(17:21):
the symptoms, but we want to askyou, from your perspective and
you experiencing a menopausalwoman here at home and maybe
even at work, what are thesymptoms that you observe and
have lived through?
Well, that you would think it'sbad behavior?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Since you asked, so you're going to turn the
question on me.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I sure am Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So no, most of the time I'll be honest.
Yeah, I hear a lot about hotflashes, I hear a lot about mood
swings, I hear a lot aboutthings being uncomfortable with
clothing, things beinguncomfortable with hair, things
(18:04):
being, you know, just a bunch ofuncomfortable.
But then there's the attitudesthat come about, and so you
never know if that's somethingthat's happening because of
menopause or and I'll put it onme, Did I do something stupid
today?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
So I just deserve that you know, Got you Okay, so
let's talk about mood swings,cause I think this is where it
might relate.
Lavella, what would you sayabout the mood swings?
Speaker 3 (18:35):
They're there.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
They're very there, aren't they?
Oh look, my husband's not hereto ask him how convenient.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yes, so the mood swings are definitely there,
absolutely, and I don't know.
I laugh, lori, when you say badbehavior, because I, oh gosh, I
can't believe I'm admittingthis.
So I have actually looked atother women and thought you need
(19:04):
to get your hormones in order,and, which is terrible, cause I
should be like, oh no, we're allgoing through this together and
let me give you a hug.
It's not necessarily that wayall the time.
So I, I've turned on.
You know my own gender, so it'slike no, no, no, I, I, I'm sure
I have mood swings, but whenthe plane is crashing, you don't
(19:27):
know that.
So, you're just still on it.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
See, and that's what I want.
I'm thank you so much.
I'm glad someone just admittedit.
The plane is crashing.
You Thank you so much.
I'm glad someone just admittedit.
The plane is crashing.
You don't know what's happening.
So what's happening in realtime.
You just got to deal with it.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
What I'm not okay with is someone just having bad
mood swings and you have no ideawhat's happening and then you
find out later on it was becauselast week I didn't take out the
trash when you asked me toRight, that's the problem.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Or bad behavior bad behavior right.
So I've, I've not that it's.
It's not possible to have, youknow, wild mood swings.
I've not experienced them.
You ask my husband, he mighttell you something different,
but I've, I'm always concernedwith the, the bad behavior due
to stress, right, or just due tobeing, you know, kind of snippy
(20:17):
, and it having nothing to dowith with menopause from from
other women, because I've, I'veseen snarky men and I know
they're not menopausal, so yeah,yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
So to the dark, just point.
You can't blame everything onmenopause, because it could be
behavior or just stress, and youneed to manage that.
I know for me and I've told youthis out loud, so I've learned
this.
Instead of trying to figure outinternally, I just tell Corey I
don't know why, I'm feelingvery emotional.
It's one of those days.
(20:51):
So then, corey, you know, tojust kind of be sensitive or
just kind of watch I think hestays away from me is the
solution to that so he goes tothe studio and I kind of stay in
my own space and just work thatout.
I think another thing that addsto my mood swings at times is
the brain fog.
(21:12):
I'm used to being very sharpand I will literally think of
something and within the nextsecond I've forgotten and it
just left.
And I don't like that feeling.
I don't because then, as anurse and as someone who knows
that people have been impacted,um, by dementia and like memory
loss, like I can go in thoseplaces real quick like what is
(21:35):
this really and why am Iforgetting the way I am?
right um, so that is scarybecause you know we're aging and
that's not a way I want to goin my path of aging.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Yeah so I gotta ask one more, and and here's I'm
where I tell on my own self inmy my age category.
What I've realized is that, um,this younger generation now
can't handle certain things, Uh,stress levels too high.
They check out, Um and I knowyou guys are related to this Uh,
(22:13):
they need, they have thesespecial words for needing time
off.
They say these weird things inpersonal health day or something
Mental health day.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Mental health day.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
And so, with the combination and I'm talking to
two women that have experiencednot only life, but a part of
life that some of the women havenot is stress a big part of
what's happening in themenopause stage of life?
And if so, what do we have tolook forward to in this younger
(22:45):
generation if they've checkedout on some of the simpler
things in life, where a realcrisis should arise?
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Yes, that's a really good question.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
So let me give some physiological things really
quick.
So there's, I think, a littlewith stress.
Um, at least for me I I didn'tused to stress out as much as I
do now it's a very real thing,and with menopause you're
decreased in hormone levels, soit also decreases your serotonin
(23:19):
level.
So serotonin is your mood.
You start feeling more anxious.
When your levels are lower,more depression.
So sadness is a very real thing,um, and so there are also good
ways to increase your serotoninlevel, like taking a bubble bath
, going out and stepping outinto the sun, eating clean,
those kinds of things, plugginginto the right people, listening
(23:41):
to music, getting to a goodbook, right.
So, as far as the youngergeneration, that's why I think
podcasts like this that arehighlighting it and bringing it
to light, so they have time toprepare and say, hey, maybe I
need to look at more stresscoping techniques because this
is going to get harder as I age,right, and just kind of be
(24:04):
proactive and think about thatas at an early age, do I think
they have the ability to copethrough menopause?
Yes, because life gives yousome really hard things and you
can't check out necessarily.
So I don't know if that makessense.
I think they can work it out,and if they take heed to the
(24:28):
elderly women and learn from it,I think they're definitely
steps ahead Do you have the sameperspective or anything
different to add to that?
Speaker 3 (24:37):
No, no, I do.
Actually I do see that in theyounger generation and again,
you know, this is justperspective of looking back,
going gosh.
I think I was tougher, I was inthat age group that there are a
lot of mental health days.
But I do think that it's anapproved society, societal
(24:59):
behavior and so it's almostacceptable that in a good way we
brought to light that it's okayto not be okay.
There's a huge movement behindmental health.
So menopause is mental health.
It's part of the mental health.
So I think society has done agreat job with identifying.
(25:21):
You don't take your crazycousin and stick them in the
attic like they used to do inthe 18 1900s.
You hide them away.
We bring our crazy out on thefront porch and hand it lemonade
now.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
So it's great, we have a welcome mat out for it.
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
So society's done a great job bringing up mental
health.
But do I feel that the youngergenerations can navigate through
pre-menopause and thenpost-menopause?
I do, as long as they educatethemselves, they understand
what's coming and they justreally kind of embrace that.
(26:04):
So I think knowledge, you know,for me knowledge is power, I do
, we just have to empower them,right.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
And I think that's something that women should take
on more.
I love what you said, lavella.
When we go into that judgingspace, like oh God, she needs
some hormones and women can bereally hard on one another we
sure are and so just kind ofmaking a switch, changing the
(26:32):
tide on that and welcoming otherplaces to exist, because, like,
for example, I think of societytoday and the emphasis is on
youth and looking a certain way,and so when you're going
through menopause, your level ofconfidence can really be shaken
, because I don't look like that.
In fact, my skin's drying andnow I'm gaining weight and I'm
(26:54):
forgetting things.
So I'm you know, it's almostlike imposter syndrome to my
whole existence Right, and so Ithink bringing the generations
together and appreciating andlearning from another is really
powerful in this space.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
So I'm going to ask this question because I know
this is going to be helpful forus men.
This question because I knowthis is going to be helpful for
us men.
We do go through our midlifecrisis and sometimes hair loss,
sometimes other functions nothappening completely, but we
hold all that inside.
We just buckle down and say youknow what, that's nobody's
(27:29):
business.
I'm not talking about this withanyone.
My question to you youmentioned a few things.
You mentioned a few things Skindrying, not feeling as vibrant.
I know I've heard hair lossyeah, Hair thinning, oh and okay
.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
So not just with hair loss, but then you gain hair in
places you shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Right, right Right.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
What is happening to my face?
There's hair here.
Cory, I'm gonna need your razorand shaving cream.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So can, with us knowing this, can you guys walk
a man through number one, whatthat's like, and then number two
, how you're dealing with it, sothat we can understand?
Because, see, a lot of menaren't thinking like that.
We're like, oh, she's beautiful, she's this, she's that, and
you're thinking to yourself I'mgoing through this, I'm going
(28:22):
through that.
You don't have a clue, and wereally don't, so can you help us
with that?
Speaker 3 (28:27):
I'm going to jump in.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I love it, that one's fun.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
That's fun.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
That's fun.
So again, knowledge is power.
So I'm aware of what's coming,I'm aware of that hair didn't
used to be there and oh, lookit's.
Not only is it there, it's gray.
So on top of that wonderfulness, so it's what I tell my I don't
(28:53):
, I approach it in just a okay.
So this is kind of happeningand you know, now I need to
pluck that or shave that, orit's part of the journey, it's
part of the journey Right.
It's just kind of.
For me it's part of the journeyand my husband has no clue that
(29:13):
I've got hair in weird spots.
And I do agree with what yousaid earlier, jen, that like
society right, our culture isit's.
You know, we only pluck thebeautiful, ripe fruit.
So when you're younger you'reseen as more desirable and then
that's what you know, all ofthose wonderful creams and the
(29:34):
injections and that's.
That's just a society thing.
I would love to change societyso that you appreciate the
younger generation for the phasethat they're in and then, as
they age, you appreciate, youknow the young ladies and the
young men and then, as we, thatthere's a whole new appreciation
for the experience.
(29:55):
There's a lot of cultures thatthe older you are, the more
revered you are, and I thinkthat we my philosophy is that we
could just embrace each ofthose sessions in our lives and
be appreciated for those piecesthat we bring and accept our
losses, the things that we'velost, like my hair, my hair's
(30:17):
thinning.
My husband doesn't see any ofthose things.
I think he's blind when helooks at me.
I think he still thinks he seesthe 30-year-old.
So from a man's perspective Iwould say I'm sure when you look
at Jen you see her as the 20something year old, and when you
(30:39):
first met and you don't seeanything but that.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, and then again beautifully said, very beautiful
, very well, um, we don't knowwhat we don't know and what
we're not taught, um.
And then we say silly thinkingthat you know we're cracking a
joke, and it's like penetrating,it's hurting, it's scratching
that surface, and so I reallywant men to take a deep breath
(31:05):
and take some of this in so thatthey can understand what's
happening.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Yeah, knowledge is power, and if you have the power
to not say that silly thing,then you've just gained a little
bit more crown yeah, one thingI definitely want to touch on it
since we're bringing the men inand as you're going through
changes too is part of menopauseis a decreased libido, and
that's something that we don'ttalk a lot about too, and and
(31:32):
Lavelle and I were talking aboutall the changes with that.
So I think just imagining aspace where your body's going
through change and you'refeeling not so cute, a little
insecure, obviously for thosereasons, libido will go down and
then, physiologically, dry skinequals just a dry period like
(31:57):
yeah, it's like I'm just in adry spell like you know, sahara
desert, yeah pretty much, prettymuch, and so that's why it even
makes more sense for thepromised land when you said
post-menopause.
But so those are just some ofthe things, and I think, like in
this space that we're creatingnow, I think it's important for
(32:20):
partners to talk about it, yeah,and it's okay to externalize it
.
It is kind of scary to admithey, this is what I'm going
through or this is what I'mthinking.
I'm still very much attractedto you.
You've had this conversationwith me, corey.
I still desire you, but I'malmost scared because I don't
know what's going to set you off.
(32:43):
Like, is this okay right now,or is she going through
something that maybe I shouldn't?
This might be too much on herRight.
So I think our conversationshave really helped the process.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
I think we forget and I'm hoping Lavella speaks to
this we forget as we get olderthat you know.
Number one we have to besensitive when we talk to our
mates and our spouse.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Number two we think, if we say something and it's not
appropriate or it doesn't landright, that they should just get
over it and let's move on.
But some of these things happenand it's long lasting.
You're reminded of it later onin the day or in the year or in
the month.
And so how do you deal withthat Lavella, when conversations
(33:29):
need to be had but the approachwasn't quite right, how do you
double back to say I know thisguy still loves me.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Funny how he's looking at me because you know I
am working on my finesse incommunication.
I was raised with brothers.
My sister was a lot older thanme.
She was kind of like out of thehouse when I grew up.
So, um, I I'm.
When you said that you know,men just kind of age and we deal
(34:00):
with things and we don't talkabout it, I laugh because I'm
definitely a boy's mom.
I was always telling my son oh,walk it off suck it up and walk
it off.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
You'll be fine.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
I'm definitely a tough mom, so I am a blunt
communicator.
And so as I've aged, as I'veapproached, and I'm living in
the menopause land, that issomething that I can say.
That menopause has benefited meis it's given me a little more
(34:35):
ability to recognize that myimpact with my words on other
humans and especially my husband.
It we, we were together a verylong time before we got married
because you know I'm veryindependent um, a lot, of, a lot
of issues to to work through,but my husband's wonderfully
(34:55):
stuck with me that whole time.
So I'm a blunt, directcommunicator.
And so when my husband, beforehe left, I took him to the
airport yesterday before he left, he said something to me and I
just you know that whole LindaBlair head thing kind of
spinning around like like, Iknow that you did not mean to
(35:18):
say that and he goes correctbased on your face, right?
that was correct.
So, instead of just whippingaround and, you know,
threatening to to bury him andcall him off on the horse
because you know, that'spossible.
It's.
(35:39):
The menopause has given me theability to take a pause and I'm
appreciating, right my husbandand how he is, how he'll
communicate with me, and sobefore I would just you know,
right after him, and somenopause has kind of helped me
(36:04):
slow down just a little bit.
So I'm going to take that as awin from menopause with my age
and experience.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Women 100, menopause 1.
Hey, there's some ground togain here.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
I like that well, I love that perspective because
there is winning in menopausewe've talked about all these oh
you, beware caution and there isbeauty and strength in
menopause because you'retransitioning and it's something
new.
So anytime you go through thatthere's a growth because they're
stretching.
For me, how it's changed me isI am okay with not being so
(36:42):
quick on my feet.
There is a certain kind offalse confidence I developed
through the years because I wasjust so quick-witted, I could do
this.
I came up with things.
I didn't need sleep.
Remember those days, corey,where my energy was always up
and I didn't slow down foranything or anybody.
And this has definitely taughtme the beauty of patience,
(37:07):
endurance, the importance ofsustaining power versus just
being able to maintain and keepgoing, power versus just being
able to maintain and keep going.
So it definitely has been, Ifeel, a big part of my spiritual
journey in life, because youreally have to tap into
something deeper.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
So I really like this picture being painted.
I'm seeing levels of maturity,levels of development and levels
of growth that are taking placein women that should be
appreciated and not frowned upon, and so I just know if more of
these kind of conversations arebeing had, the easier it will be
for it to translate to us thatdon't go through this.
(37:52):
You know and we have our ownEgypt to walk through, so to
speak.
But I appreciate the pictureyou both have painted.
Before we get out of here, whatI really want to do is hand it
over to Lavella.
Is there anything you want usto know about you?
What you're doing?
Any adventures coming up orhappening in your life?
How?
Speaker 3 (38:12):
long is your podcast or happening in your life?
Speaker 2 (38:14):
How long is?
Speaker 3 (38:15):
your podcast.
I'm always moving and shakingand I'm super busy, but I have
learned again.
Maybe I can credit menopausewith this.
I really love what you saidabout patience and the
spirituality and kind ofbringing that thought back to
(38:37):
the work that we do.
I've just recently I'm almostdone so I've just recently kind
of completed a session with aprofessional and life coach and
it's been super helpful.
So one of my new endeavors I dohave a company and I'm moving
(38:57):
into the crisis communicationsconsulting Nice.
So in that we were kind ofchatting earlier that it really
excites me, not ha ha ha, we'regoing through this, ha ha, we're
(39:18):
going through this, but more.
I've discovered that duringcrisis, you know, be it a
website crisis or a social mediacrisis, or in my, my uh, uh
career has been in healthcare,and so I think back at all of
the healthcare crises we hadchannel two, channel nine, show
up in my parking lot and, yeah,high desert of California, of
all places, I think they were ontheir way to Vegas, but so they
(39:40):
showed up in my parking lot andthose points in my career and
there were many of them that iswhere I performed stellar.
Where I performed stellar, Imean, it was because I don't.
(40:01):
Some people, when a crisishappens, they just their brains
just kind of short out.
Mine slows down and it'sprocess and it's like I you know
, it's almost like I know whatto do.
So, anyway, in that discovery,this will be one of my new
ventures, but then I'm superbusy.
(40:21):
We talked about the farm that Ihave.
I have horses and all of themneed to be exercised and four
and a half acres of fun thingsto do and I like to bake and so
I'm just super busy to bake andso I'm just super busy.
But as I go through menopause,as I age and I kind of slow down
, it's given me the ability tobe busy in the right things,
(40:45):
those things that fulfill meright.
That get me through menopause.
You talked about, you know,going out in the sun and
absorbing, you know, the rays ofsunlight or having tea or doing
something that kind of fulfillsyour heart.
Music For me it's the horses.
It's getting out and you know,and getting dirty and in good
(41:07):
things yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Yeah, and I love that you've introduced exercise to
our listeners, because that'sanother way to get through
menopause is exercise, andbecause joint pain is a real
thing in this phase.
So there's that piece.
Um, I do need to say thisbecause we have listeners like
okay, so you all are talkingabout if I, if I don't want to
(41:31):
take hormones, what can doinstead?
So I really want to drop somegems here Balanced diet,
exercising regularly, gettingsleep, like that's so important.
But some foods that you canlook for are foods that are rich
in omega-3s, calcium andvitamin D, because those promote
(41:51):
bone health and mood stability.
I recommend avoiding too muchcaffeine, alcohol, processed
foods, right, and otheralternative treatments you can
look into are things likeacupuncture or herbal
supplements, and what I meanhere is there's things like the
maca root or the eveningprimrose oil.
(42:11):
Those are very helpful.
Hot flash peppermint oil onyour temples has been great, but
just wanted to share that.
There's so many things thatnature provides.
L-theanine, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Yeah, love that Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
And my takeaway from all of this is this is that we
go through menopause and, yes,your body's changing.
But I think with that andLovella, you've proven our point
I love.
Everything that you've broughtup here is that as our bodies
change, so is our wisdom and ourstrength and resilience.
It just takes it to a wholenother level.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
My takeaway is that this conversation was nowhere
near as scary as I thought itwas.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
And we never got to your bad behavior.
But I think did that help.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
I think it was probably a better thing than if
we didn't.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Great, that was my, my takeaways.
That was the funniest momentever.
I almost could not get myselfback on this on this episode.
I thought I was going to loseit when you said it.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Lavella, do you want to add some takeaways from this,
or yeah?
Speaker 3 (43:18):
sure, I thought you were going to continue speaking
um, so my takeaway um from thisis that I think that the the
story right the the experiencesthat both genders are feeling
through this right.
So, jen and I go through this,but we're dragging you right
(43:40):
along, right, we're dragging ourwonderful partners right along
with us through this process.
So I'm an advocate of you knowagain, I've said it like a
million times like knowledge ispower, but I feel that.
So it's one thing to listen tosomeone else and to absorb that
knowledge, right, and they'lltell you their experience.
(44:01):
But I, I would encourage thelisteners to share, right.
There's one thing to listen andto carry everybody else's
experiences, but you have to beable to.
You can't carry all of that.
You have to be able to expressthat.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
So share right, communicate, talk to people and
get that you know off of yourheart Beautifully said Well,
this has been great Way betterthan I thought it was going to
be.
I love, I love, love, love thisepisode and I hope everyone
here has too.
If you know anyone, anyone.
So half the population guysshare this episode with half the
(44:39):
pop.
No, all of them.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
Men and women need to hear, we're gonna go through it
too, one way or another exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
So thanks for being here, and you know us to take
the elevator.
We say look up and let'selevate.
Hey, it's Jen the Builder and Cory, and welcome
everyone.
To Take the Elevator, cory.
I think this is like the 253rdepisode.
How about three?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
353.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yeah now you're about right.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yeah, I can't believe it and I'm so excited about
today's episode because we havea third person in the studio
with us today indeed a verybright, vibrant, energetic
person that has a lot of goodinformation and knowledge she's
going to share with us, andwe're just so delighted to have
her in the studio with us today.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
That's right.
So if you're new to Take theElevator, just want to put it
out there that this is a podcastwhere we take everyday topics
and we elevate it to higherperspective and we love
community, we love people and welove positivity and just
encouraging our friends.
So we're actually going to take.
It's March Madness, corey.
(01:08):
What is typically March MadnessBasketball.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yes, and I say that with that drab voice because I
just can't watch sports Like Icould play them when I was
younger and I still could if Ireally wanted to today, but it
just doesn't excite me.
Now.
A March Madness podcast.
I think this is going to beexciting for a lot of people, so
I'm looking forward to this one.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, but I promise no one knows what this March
Madness is today I do, andthat's why we have Lovella here,
and so we're going to talkabout March Madness, menopause
oh my gosh.
Yeah, and what that game lookslike, and the full on court
pressure in your emotions, yourmental health, your body,
(01:49):
everything.
So please welcome Lovella tothe elevator.
Hey Lovella, it's good to haveyou here.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Hey there.
It's a pleasure to be here.
I'm really it's strangely very,very excited about today's
topic.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah Right, I don't think we hear it enough, but I
know you've plugged intomultiple things regarding it, so
I think it's so appropriatethat you're here, but why don't
you go ahead and tell everyone alittle bit about yourself,
anything that you want us toknow?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Well, gosh, you know, at my age I'm fine.
But I have to laugh when yousay kind of plugged into
menopause and I'm like what doyou mean?
Because I've like I'm in it andI've gone through it and I'm
still in it and I'm still gonethrough it.
So, bella Sullivan, I'm notgoing to say how old I am.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
And you know that I'm going through menopause.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
That's enough.
She's 25.
I am, I'm 25.
Early onset of menopause 25times.
You know two points, somethingor other.
So I have an illustrioushealthcare marketing and
communications career.
At one point I was a VP of theover seven hospitals for
(02:59):
communications and I think whatattracts me most to this podcast
really is how you take thoseeveryday subjects and you're
always telling people to takethat elevator and that's
something that, with all of mymany teams that I've had in my
career is that that just givesme such joy is to bring that to
(03:23):
my teams, right, because everyindividual that we work with is
different, but I love being ableto show people what their
skillset is and then just liketurn them loose.
I love to say that I've traineda COO.
It's just, it's great stuff.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Indeed, and I'm going to say this upfront, front and
out the gate that everyone thatis seasoned, or older, or mature
is not wise.
But this woman is very wise andhas a vast amount of knowledge.
She just told you she was a VPover seven hospitals.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I had seven, three different markets.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Goodness that's some good stuff right there.
We're going to have a lot offun today, guys.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, and so let me give an intro on how this came
up.
So lovella and cory and I, wework together and we've done
some projects together, maybeindirectly, but our teams work
very closely together, right?
So I, I don't even rememberexactly what it is, but I think
lovelle asked me how are you?
(04:23):
And I said I'm menopausal, likeI don't even remember exactly
what it is, but I think Lovellasked me how are you and I said
I'm menopausal.
Today's just one of those daysLoaded question and so we just
started talking about that.
And you're really easy to openup to At least you have been for
me and so I just think theworld of you not just as who you
are, as a leader, but also as aperson.
So it was easy to tell Lavellalike hot flashes, like how are
(04:47):
you coping, how are you doingall this?
And it feels good when there'ssomeone who's going through what
you're going through and youdon't feel crazy by yourself.
And so, as we were talkingabout it, I said Lavella, we got
to do like March MadnessMenopause, and she got lit up
and when people get you know,understand where you're coming
from, they're just like let's doit.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Oh, I love it and.
I'm like you're going to callit March Madness.
Oh my goodness, that's perfect,right.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
So let's talk about why we're having this
conversation.
First of all, I don't know ifmany people know this, but half
the population is going to gothrough menopause and I just
can't believe that there's notenough women talking about this.
I talk about menopause to mydaughter all the time, so she's
411 on what's about to happenand it doesn't come as a shock,
(05:41):
right?
So today we're going to dive into the symptoms, the emotions,
the coping strategies and how wecan support each other through
this wild ride.
And, corey, what is yourpurpose?
In March, madness, menopauseDay, what can we expect from?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
you.
I'm so glad you asked.
I've been asked this questionthree times and I refused to
answer until I was actually here.
So my role today is to ask thetough questions, the important
questions.
Not only that I've been aparticipant in this March
Madness Menopause for muchlonger than just March Pretty
much, man.
I don't even want to say howmany years I've endured this,
(06:21):
but when I say that I'm notbeing mean, what I'm actually
saying is that it's a real thingand people don't recognize it
as a real thing.
So I just I'm here to support,but I most want to ask questions
so that I can get a little bitmore clarity and help some
people that's out there.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Let's help our men out there and women who are
experiencing, women who are on,who are menopausal.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
First of all, can I'm gonna just start the
questioning right away and jumpin head first.
Lovella, what is menopause toyou?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
that's deep, he just like right out of the ballpark
with that.
Oh, that's another sports thingright, yeah, that's not.
Clearly, I'm not a sportsfollower either, so I am my own
sport.
Um so menopause, um to me.
So growing up, a quick history.
So again I'm, I'm like olderthan tornadoes.
(07:16):
So growing up, I had oldparents to begin with.
So my mom was 36, um, when shehad me.
So she was going throughmenopause when I was just kind
of hitting puberty, and so itwas in the household that I grew
up very Southern.
I grew up here in SouthernCalifornia, but my parents are
(07:37):
from Texas, so it's verySouthern.
You don't talk about thosethings, it's just it's a woman's
thing.
So there wasn't a lot ofeducation.
I'm aware of menopause, Iunderstand what it is, I went to
school, but for me, menopause.
So when I first admitted, okay,I'm, you know, premenopausal,
(07:58):
uh, oh, my gosh, I'm in my prime.
That's not possible.
I just felt like you know,everything's drying up, I'm
going to die.
This is like the second half ofmy life.
I've hit the peak and now it'sall downhill and it's just going
to snowball.
And so that was my first.
When you get told that.
(08:18):
And then I have to say, and I'mstill in menopause, it's great.
I mean there's horrible thingsin the sweats and all of the
symptoms and everybodyexperiences that in a different
way, to a different degree.
But I'm actually um with the,the education and the research
(08:41):
that I've done on that, I feel.
So I think knowledge right, Iguess.
For me it's like knowledge ispower.
So the more that I understoodwhat my body was doing and where
I was headed to this beautifulpost-menopausal land, which I
can't wait to be there becauseit opens up different things.
So, like the way I look at itis like pre-pubescent you have
(09:02):
no idea what's coming.
And then you know you get thatwonderful monthly cycle and
you're growing up, and that'sgreat and that's horrible.
I'm so glad that that's goneright, I was very thankful that
that was gone, but it's just.
it's just a different stage andI I feel like I'm coming into
like some of the best times ofmy life, but I appreciate every
(09:24):
piece that's come before that.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Beautifully explained , yeah, so I'm going to explain
from a nurse's perspective, justin case people don't quite
understand.
So menopause is officially adiagnosis when a woman goes 12
months consecutive without aperiod or menstruation, and then
you could say, yes, this isthat moment, because there is a
(09:47):
release and a relief when you dohave your period, so you're
without that.
But what some of us don'trealize is there's a time before
menopause where it'sperimenopause, so there are
symptoms that start to creepbefore and then.
So it happens during, and then,as you mentioned, novella,
(10:07):
there's the postmenopause.
And when you said, I thought,oh, that sounds like paradise or
the promised land, even likeyou know, because sometimes it
can feel that intense and it canhappen as early.
I've heard women who start late30s, early 40s and and so it's
just different.
That's the thing about this isfor everyone it's different yeah
(10:30):
so what I may be experiencingisn't what lovell is going
through, and so you can pick upwisdom, you can pick up tips and
how you cope and what you do,um, and then there are other
things that you've got to figureout for yourself, right, right.
So that's pretty much menopause.
It's a rollercoaster of a ride.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
So it always changes.
Yeah, right, so you can be inmenopause and you know, for a
year or two you're like oh, Idon't have night sweats and I
don't have.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Oh, that's not me.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
I'm so lucky.
And then Kaboom, yes Right.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
So I'm going to ask one more question.
Yeah, so I didn't know thatthere was hormone therapy.
There was oils and ointmentsand teas and all these other
things that you can do to eitherrelieve the symptoms or
sometimes soothe the symptoms.
Is anybody practicing that andif so, or if not, you know?
(11:33):
Did you know about it and howhas it helped?
Or not even interested?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Okay, so I'll talk to that.
And then I know Lavella hasgreat information on this.
So I'm not on hormone therapyand I am an advocate for women
making their choices ontreatment or non-treatment for
women making their choices ontreatment or non-treatment.
(12:00):
I'm more on the holistic sideand trying other things first,
like tea oils and things likethat.
Changing diet actually reallyhelps too with hot flashes,
right.
So more fruits and vegetables,non-processed foods have really
helped.
So that's where I'm going tostay and I'm going to say this.
I didn't share this with you,lavella, but my doctor said, jen
(12:21):
, women typically.
And he goes I know I'm a male,so don't take this like what.
Would you know You're a guy?
Is that right away when we gothrough menopause?
That's the oh.
I'm feeling this way becauseit's menopause, or I'm getting
weight because it's menopausewhen we're not looking at our
whole lifestyle.
And he says, through time,through the ages, as we age, the
(12:45):
body naturally in its state ofthe way it was created, is their
home hormones decrease.
This is normal.
It wasn't until medicine cameinto effect that now we want to
supplement those lost hormones.
And he goes and I think there'ssomething to be said about that
, because there's beauty in theaging process and it's almost as
if we were meant to go throughit, and it shows more of our
(13:10):
resilience as human beings andespecially as women.
So that's my stand on it.
Right now, I don't know how myjourney is going to change, and
I might be.
I want hormones now.
This is too intense, but eitherway, there's no judgment on
whether you take it or not, butwith anything, like we've always
said on, take the Elevator isget educated.
Lavella, you said knowledge ispower.
(13:31):
For sure, look into thingsbefore you jump into things,
right?
So I don't know what treatmentyou're, um, you've heard of or
what you're doing, lavella, butI'm here to learn from you too.
Yeah, let's hear it.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Everybody's experience is a little different
.
So, um, I'm not on any hormonetherapy, um, but I do have a
fantastic natural medicinedoctor, and so I these wonderful
little, you know menopausedrops, which are very helpful,
but it nothing is going to takeeverything away, right, and
you'll see, like just when, inmy case, with the um, the night
(14:10):
sweats or the hot flashes.
A lot of my hot flashes werepart menopause, part stress.
So I will still get a hot flashif I am superbly stressed, so
can I blame menopause, because Iget that hot flash before.
So I'm not on any therapies, butI have.
I've done a lot of researchthere.
(14:37):
Like I was sharing with you, jen.
There's a masterclass rightWith Halle Berry and and several
um kind of test subject ladieswho kind of share their story,
and then a handful of physicianswho shared um information that
was brand new to me.
You know we're going throughmenopause but um it, I learned
that for me.
I'll back up for the, theholistic approach to that.
(14:58):
I'm not a fan of fake hormonesand weird things in my food and
the older I get, the more Irealize, um, you know all of the
damage that's been done to youknow my body and with the fast
food and the convenience and youknow running wild with a kid
and being, you know crazy thatwe are, that we're work, um, so
(15:19):
I I'm seeing now the benefits ofmore clean eating and things
like that.
So is that making a difference?
I feel that it is Um, and soI'm going to go with it because
it works for me.
Um, but I've done.
I'm not a big hormone kind ofperson.
I'm not a give me a pill andthen give me a pill, for you
know what those side effectswere.
(15:39):
So what I learned in thatmasterclass was that there's
this big fear of oh, if you takehormones you're going to get
cancer.
So you know, that kind ofsteered me away from it.
But what I learned was thatit's like some ridiculously
teeny tiny percentage.
(15:59):
Those hormones that are inthose medications are really not
tied to cervical cancer andbreast cancer I would.
I mean, I'm not a physician.
I would absolutely suggest thateverybody kind of goes and does
their own research, but it'snot and not and I that was kind
of a shocker for me.
I'm not a big PMU person.
(16:21):
Pmu is in a lot of themedications.
That's the pregnant mare urineand I'm not a fan of how they
collect that.
As you know, jen, I have horsesand fun things like that.
So I'm not a that I'm not a fanof of fan of that for my own
personal reasons.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Oh, I'm so tempted I got it For all the men that are
listening, because there's justno way we would ever know this
answer.
So, for all the symptoms thatwomen have, how many of those
are misdiagnosed from just badbehavior or a bad attitude?
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I'm sorry, I just had to laugh because you're
correlating our symptoms to badbehavior, bad mental health.
I think that's so cute, so I dowant to get there.
It's so funny Because I wasgoing to ask you and I think
this question, your answer mightsegue into this.
Okay, because I thought, well,lavelle and I could talk about
(17:21):
the symptoms, but we want to askyou, from your perspective and
you experiencing a menopausalwoman here at home and maybe
even at work, what are thesymptoms that you observe and
have lived through?
Well, that you would think it'sbad behavior?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Since you asked, so you're going to turn the
question on me.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I sure am Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So no, most of the time I'll be honest.
Yeah, I hear a lot about hotflashes, I hear a lot about mood
swings, I hear a lot aboutthings being uncomfortable with
clothing, things beinguncomfortable with hair, things
(18:04):
being, you know, just a bunch ofuncomfortable.
But then there's the attitudesthat come about, and so you
never know if that's somethingthat's happening because of
menopause or and I'll put it onme, Did I do something stupid
today?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
So I just deserve that you know, Got you Okay, so
let's talk about mood swings,cause I think this is where it
might relate.
Lavella, what would you sayabout the mood swings?
Speaker 3 (18:35):
They're there.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
They're very there, aren't they?
Oh look, my husband's not hereto ask him how convenient.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yes, so the mood swings are definitely there,
absolutely, and I don't know.
I laugh, lori, when you say badbehavior, because I, oh gosh, I
can't believe I'm admittingthis.
So I have actually looked atother women and thought you need
(19:04):
to get your hormones in order,and, which is terrible, cause I
should be like, oh no, we're allgoing through this together and
let me give you a hug.
It's not necessarily that wayall the time.
So I, I've turned on.
You know my own gender, so it'slike no, no, no, I, I, I'm sure
I have mood swings, but whenthe plane is crashing, you don't
(19:27):
know that.
So, you're just still on it.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
See, and that's what I want.
I'm thank you so much.
I'm glad someone just admittedit.
The plane is crashing.
You Thank you so much.
I'm glad someone just admittedit.
The plane is crashing.
You don't know what's happening.
So what's happening in realtime.
You just got to deal with it.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
What I'm not okay with is someone just having bad
mood swings and you have no ideawhat's happening and then you
find out later on it was becauselast week I didn't take out the
trash when you asked me toRight, that's the problem.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Or bad behavior bad behavior right.
So I've, I've not that it's.
It's not possible to have, youknow, wild mood swings.
I've not experienced them.
You ask my husband, he mighttell you something different,
but I've, I'm always concernedwith the, the bad behavior due
to stress, right, or just due tobeing, you know, kind of snippy
(20:17):
, and it having nothing to dowith with menopause from from
other women, because I've, I'veseen snarky men and I know
they're not menopausal, so yeah,yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
So to the dark, just point.
You can't blame everything onmenopause, because it could be
behavior or just stress, and youneed to manage that.
I know for me and I've told youthis out loud, so I've learned
this.
Instead of trying to figure outinternally, I just tell Corey I
don't know why, I'm feelingvery emotional.
It's one of those days.
(20:51):
So then, corey, you know, tojust kind of be sensitive or
just kind of watch I think hestays away from me is the
solution to that so he goes tothe studio and I kind of stay in
my own space and just work thatout.
I think another thing that addsto my mood swings at times is
the brain fog.
(21:12):
I'm used to being very sharpand I will literally think of
something and within the nextsecond I've forgotten and it
just left.
And I don't like that feeling.
I don't because then, as anurse and as someone who knows
that people have been impacted,um, by dementia and like memory
loss, like I can go in thoseplaces real quick like what is
(21:35):
this really and why am Iforgetting the way I am?
right um, so that is scarybecause you know we're aging and
that's not a way I want to goin my path of aging.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Yeah so I gotta ask one more, and and here's I'm
where I tell on my own self inmy my age category.
What I've realized is that, um,this younger generation now
can't handle certain things, Uh,stress levels too high.
They check out, Um and I knowyou guys are related to this Uh,
(22:13):
they need, they have thesespecial words for needing time
off.
They say these weird things inpersonal health day or something
Mental health day.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Mental health day.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
And so, with the combination and I'm talking to
two women that have experiencednot only life, but a part of
life that some of the women havenot is stress a big part of
what's happening in themenopause stage of life?
And if so, what do we have tolook forward to in this younger
(22:45):
generation if they've checkedout on some of the simpler
things in life, where a realcrisis should arise?
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Yes, that's a really good question.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
So let me give some physiological things really
quick.
So there's, I think, a littlewith stress.
Um, at least for me I I didn'tused to stress out as much as I
do now it's a very real thing,and with menopause you're
decreased in hormone levels, soit also decreases your serotonin
(23:19):
level.
So serotonin is your mood.
You start feeling more anxious.
When your levels are lower,more depression.
So sadness is a very real thing,um, and so there are also good
ways to increase your serotoninlevel, like taking a bubble bath
, going out and stepping outinto the sun, eating clean,
those kinds of things, plugginginto the right people, listening
(23:41):
to music, getting to a goodbook, right.
So, as far as the youngergeneration, that's why I think
podcasts like this that arehighlighting it and bringing it
to light, so they have time toprepare and say, hey, maybe I
need to look at more stresscoping techniques because this
is going to get harder as I age,right, and just kind of be
(24:04):
proactive and think about thatas at an early age, do I think
they have the ability to copethrough menopause?
Yes, because life gives yousome really hard things and you
can't check out necessarily.
So I don't know if that makessense.
I think they can work it out,and if they take heed to the
(24:28):
elderly women and learn from it,I think they're definitely
steps ahead Do you have the sameperspective or anything
different to add to that?
Speaker 3 (24:37):
No, no, I do.
Actually I do see that in theyounger generation and again,
you know, this is justperspective of looking back,
going gosh.
I think I was tougher, I was inthat age group that there are a
lot of mental health days.
But I do think that it's anapproved society, societal
(24:59):
behavior and so it's almostacceptable that in a good way we
brought to light that it's okayto not be okay.
There's a huge movement behindmental health.
So menopause is mental health.
It's part of the mental health.
So I think society has done agreat job with identifying.
(25:21):
You don't take your crazycousin and stick them in the
attic like they used to do inthe 18 1900s.
You hide them away.
We bring our crazy out on thefront porch and hand it lemonade
now.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
So it's great, we have a welcome mat out for it.
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
So society's done a great job bringing up mental
health.
But do I feel that the youngergenerations can navigate through
pre-menopause and thenpost-menopause?
I do, as long as they educatethemselves, they understand
what's coming and they justreally kind of embrace that.
(26:04):
So I think knowledge, you know,for me knowledge is power, I do
, we just have to empower them,right.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
And I think that's something that women should take
on more.
I love what you said, lavella.
When we go into that judgingspace, like oh God, she needs
some hormones and women can bereally hard on one another we
sure are and so just kind ofmaking a switch, changing the
(26:32):
tide on that and welcoming otherplaces to exist, because, like,
for example, I think of societytoday and the emphasis is on
youth and looking a certain way,and so when you're going
through menopause, your level ofconfidence can really be shaken
, because I don't look like that.
In fact, my skin's drying andnow I'm gaining weight and I'm
(26:54):
forgetting things.
So I'm you know, it's almostlike imposter syndrome to my
whole existence Right, and so Ithink bringing the generations
together and appreciating andlearning from another is really
powerful in this space.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
So I'm going to ask this question because I know
this is going to be helpful forus men.
This question because I knowthis is going to be helpful for
us men.
We do go through our midlifecrisis and sometimes hair loss,
sometimes other functions nothappening completely, but we
hold all that inside.
We just buckle down and say youknow what, that's nobody's
(27:29):
business.
I'm not talking about this withanyone.
My question to you youmentioned a few things.
You mentioned a few things Skindrying, not feeling as vibrant.
I know I've heard hair lossyeah, Hair thinning, oh and okay
.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
So not just with hair loss, but then you gain hair in
places you shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Right, right Right.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
What is happening to my face?
There's hair here.
Cory, I'm gonna need your razorand shaving cream.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So can, with us knowing this, can you guys walk
a man through number one, whatthat's like, and then number two
, how you're dealing with it, sothat we can understand?
Because, see, a lot of menaren't thinking like that.
We're like, oh, she's beautiful, she's this, she's that, and
you're thinking to yourself I'mgoing through this, I'm going
(28:22):
through that.
You don't have a clue, and wereally don't, so can you help us
with that?
Speaker 3 (28:27):
I'm going to jump in.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I love it, that one's fun.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
That's fun.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
That's fun.
So again, knowledge is power.
So I'm aware of what's coming,I'm aware of that hair didn't
used to be there and oh, lookit's.
Not only is it there, it's gray.
So on top of that wonderfulness, so it's what I tell my I don't
(28:53):
, I approach it in just a okay.
So this is kind of happeningand you know, now I need to
pluck that or shave that, orit's part of the journey, it's
part of the journey Right.
It's just kind of.
For me it's part of the journeyand my husband has no clue that
(29:13):
I've got hair in weird spots.
And I do agree with what yousaid earlier, jen, that like
society right, our culture isit's.
You know, we only pluck thebeautiful, ripe fruit.
So when you're younger you'reseen as more desirable and then
that's what you know, all ofthose wonderful creams and the
(29:34):
injections and that's.
That's just a society thing.
I would love to change societyso that you appreciate the
younger generation for the phasethat they're in and then, as
they age, you appreciate, youknow the young ladies and the
young men and then, as we, thatthere's a whole new appreciation
for the experience.
(29:55):
There's a lot of cultures thatthe older you are, the more
revered you are, and I thinkthat we my philosophy is that we
could just embrace each ofthose sessions in our lives and
be appreciated for those piecesthat we bring and accept our
losses, the things that we'velost, like my hair, my hair's
(30:17):
thinning.
My husband doesn't see any ofthose things.
I think he's blind when helooks at me.
I think he still thinks he seesthe 30-year-old.
So from a man's perspective Iwould say I'm sure when you look
at Jen you see her as the 20something year old, and when you
(30:39):
first met and you don't seeanything but that.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, and then again beautifully said, very beautiful
, very well, um, we don't knowwhat we don't know and what
we're not taught, um.
And then we say silly thinkingthat you know we're cracking a
joke, and it's like penetrating,it's hurting, it's scratching
that surface, and so I reallywant men to take a deep breath
(31:05):
and take some of this in so thatthey can understand what's
happening.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Yeah, knowledge is power, and if you have the power
to not say that silly thing,then you've just gained a little
bit more crown yeah, one thingI definitely want to touch on it
since we're bringing the men inand as you're going through
changes too is part of menopauseis a decreased libido, and
that's something that we don'ttalk a lot about too, and and
(31:32):
Lavelle and I were talking aboutall the changes with that.
So I think just imagining aspace where your body's going
through change and you'refeeling not so cute, a little
insecure, obviously for thosereasons, libido will go down and
then, physiologically, dry skinequals just a dry period like
(31:57):
yeah, it's like I'm just in adry spell like you know, sahara
desert, yeah pretty much, prettymuch, and so that's why it even
makes more sense for thepromised land when you said
post-menopause.
But so those are just some ofthe things, and I think, like in
this space that we're creatingnow, I think it's important for
(32:20):
partners to talk about it, yeah,and it's okay to externalize it
.
It is kind of scary to admithey, this is what I'm going
through or this is what I'mthinking.
I'm still very much attractedto you.
You've had this conversationwith me, corey.
I still desire you, but I'malmost scared because I don't
know what's going to set you off.
(32:43):
Like, is this okay right now,or is she going through
something that maybe I shouldn't?
This might be too much on herRight.
So I think our conversationshave really helped the process.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
I think we forget and I'm hoping Lavella speaks to
this we forget as we get olderthat you know.
Number one we have to besensitive when we talk to our
mates and our spouse.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Number two we think, if we say something and it's not
appropriate or it doesn't landright, that they should just get
over it and let's move on.
But some of these things happenand it's long lasting.
You're reminded of it later onin the day or in the year or in
the month.
And so how do you deal withthat Lavella, when conversations
(33:29):
need to be had but the approachwasn't quite right, how do you
double back to say I know thisguy still loves me.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Funny how he's looking at me because you know I
am working on my finesse incommunication.
I was raised with brothers.
My sister was a lot older thanme.
She was kind of like out of thehouse when I grew up.
So, um, I I'm.
When you said that you know,men just kind of age and we deal
(34:00):
with things and we don't talkabout it, I laugh because I'm
definitely a boy's mom.
I was always telling my son oh,walk it off suck it up and walk
it off.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
You'll be fine.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
I'm definitely a tough mom, so I am a blunt
communicator.
And so as I've aged, as I'veapproached, and I'm living in
the menopause land, that issomething that I can say.
That menopause has benefited meis it's given me a little more
(34:35):
ability to recognize that myimpact with my words on other
humans and especially my husband.
It we, we were together a verylong time before we got married
because you know I'm veryindependent um, a lot, of, a lot
of issues to to work through,but my husband's wonderfully
(34:55):
stuck with me that whole time.
So I'm a blunt, directcommunicator.
And so when my husband, beforehe left, I took him to the
airport yesterday before he left, he said something to me and I
just you know that whole LindaBlair head thing kind of
spinning around like like, Iknow that you did not mean to
(35:18):
say that and he goes correctbased on your face, right?
that was correct.
So, instead of just whippingaround and, you know,
threatening to to bury him andcall him off on the horse
because you know, that'spossible.
It's.
(35:39):
The menopause has given me theability to take a pause and I'm
appreciating, right my husbandand how he is, how he'll
communicate with me, and sobefore I would just you know,
right after him, and somenopause has kind of helped me
(36:04):
slow down just a little bit.
So I'm going to take that as awin from menopause with my age
and experience.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Women 100, menopause 1.
Hey, there's some ground togain here.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
I like that well, I love that perspective because
there is winning in menopausewe've talked about all these oh
you, beware caution and there isbeauty and strength in
menopause because you'retransitioning and it's something
new.
So anytime you go through thatthere's a growth because they're
stretching.
For me, how it's changed me isI am okay with not being so
(36:42):
quick on my feet.
There is a certain kind offalse confidence I developed
through the years because I wasjust so quick-witted, I could do
this.
I came up with things.
I didn't need sleep.
Remember those days, corey,where my energy was always up
and I didn't slow down foranything or anybody.
And this has definitely taughtme the beauty of patience,
(37:07):
endurance, the importance ofsustaining power versus just
being able to maintain and keepgoing, power versus just being
able to maintain and keep going.
So it definitely has been, Ifeel, a big part of my spiritual
journey in life, because youreally have to tap into
something deeper.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
So I really like this picture being painted.
I'm seeing levels of maturity,levels of development and levels
of growth that are taking placein women that should be
appreciated and not frowned upon, and so I just know if more of
these kind of conversations arebeing had, the easier it will be
for it to translate to us thatdon't go through this.
(37:52):
You know and we have our ownEgypt to walk through, so to
speak.
But I appreciate the pictureyou both have painted.
Before we get out of here, whatI really want to do is hand it
over to Lavella.
Is there anything you want usto know about you?
What you're doing?
Any adventures coming up orhappening in your life?
How?
Speaker 3 (38:12):
long is your podcast or happening in your life?
Speaker 2 (38:14):
How long is?
Speaker 3 (38:15):
your podcast.
I'm always moving and shakingand I'm super busy, but I have
learned again.
Maybe I can credit menopausewith this.
I really love what you saidabout patience and the
spirituality and kind ofbringing that thought back to
(38:37):
the work that we do.
I've just recently I'm almostdone so I've just recently kind
of completed a session with aprofessional and life coach and
it's been super helpful.
So one of my new endeavors I dohave a company and I'm moving
(38:57):
into the crisis communicationsconsulting Nice.
So in that we were kind ofchatting earlier that it really
excites me, not ha ha ha, we'regoing through this, ha ha, we're
(39:18):
going through this, but more.
I've discovered that duringcrisis, you know, be it a
website crisis or a social mediacrisis, or in my, my uh, uh
career has been in healthcare,and so I think back at all of
the healthcare crises we hadchannel two, channel nine, show
up in my parking lot and, yeah,high desert of California, of
all places, I think they were ontheir way to Vegas, but so they
(39:40):
showed up in my parking lot andthose points in my career and
there were many of them that iswhere I performed stellar.
Where I performed stellar, Imean, it was because I don't.
(40:01):
Some people, when a crisishappens, they just their brains
just kind of short out.
Mine slows down and it'sprocess and it's like I you know
, it's almost like I know whatto do.
So, anyway, in that discovery,this will be one of my new
ventures, but then I'm superbusy.
(40:21):
We talked about the farm that Ihave.
I have horses and all of themneed to be exercised and four
and a half acres of fun thingsto do and I like to bake and so
I'm just super busy to bake andso I'm just super busy.
But as I go through menopause,as I age and I kind of slow down
, it's given me the ability tobe busy in the right things,
(40:45):
those things that fulfill meright.
That get me through menopause.
You talked about, you know,going out in the sun and
absorbing, you know, the rays ofsunlight or having tea or doing
something that kind of fulfillsyour heart.
Music For me it's the horses.
It's getting out and you know,and getting dirty and in good
(41:07):
things yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Yeah, and I love that you've introduced exercise to
our listeners, because that'sanother way to get through
menopause is exercise, andbecause joint pain is a real
thing in this phase.
So there's that piece.
Um, I do need to say thisbecause we have listeners like
okay, so you all are talkingabout if I, if I don't want to
(41:31):
take hormones, what can doinstead?
So I really want to drop somegems here Balanced diet,
exercising regularly, gettingsleep, like that's so important.
But some foods that you canlook for are foods that are rich
in omega-3s, calcium andvitamin D, because those promote
(41:51):
bone health and mood stability.
I recommend avoiding too muchcaffeine, alcohol, processed
foods, right, and otheralternative treatments you can
look into are things likeacupuncture or herbal
supplements, and what I meanhere is there's things like the
maca root or the eveningprimrose oil.
(42:11):
Those are very helpful.
Hot flash peppermint oil onyour temples has been great, but
just wanted to share that.
There's so many things thatnature provides.
L-theanine, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Yeah, love that Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
And my takeaway from all of this is this is that we
go through menopause and, yes,your body's changing.
But I think with that andLovella, you've proven our point
I love.
Everything that you've broughtup here is that as our bodies
change, so is our wisdom and ourstrength and resilience.
It just takes it to a wholenother level.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
My takeaway is that this conversation was nowhere
near as scary as I thought itwas.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
And we never got to your bad behavior.
But I think did that help.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
I think it was probably a better thing than if
we didn't.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Great, that was my, my takeaways.
That was the funniest momentever.
I almost could not get myselfback on this on this episode.
I thought I was going to loseit when you said it.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Lavella, do you want to add some takeaways from this,
or yeah?
Speaker 3 (43:18):
sure, I thought you were going to continue speaking
um, so my takeaway um from thisis that I think that the the
story right the the experiencesthat both genders are feeling
through this right.
So, jen and I go through this,but we're dragging you right
(43:40):
along, right, we're dragging ourwonderful partners right along
with us through this process.
So I'm an advocate of you knowagain, I've said it like a
million times like knowledge ispower, but I feel that.
So it's one thing to listen tosomeone else and to absorb that
knowledge, right, and they'lltell you their experience.
(44:01):
But I, I would encourage thelisteners to share, right.
There's one thing to listen andto carry everybody else's
experiences, but you have to beable to.
You can't carry all of that.
You have to be able to expressthat.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
So share right, communicate, talk to people and
get that you know off of yourheart Beautifully said Well,
this has been great Way betterthan I thought it was going to
be.
I love, I love, love, love thisepisode and I hope everyone
here has too.
If you know anyone, anyone.
So half the population guysshare this episode with half the
(44:39):
pop.
No, all of them.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
Men and women need to hear, we're gonna go through it
too, one way or another exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
So thanks for being here, and you know us to take
the elevator.
We say look up and let'selevate.
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