Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hi, it's Jen the
Builder, and.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Corey.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And hello everyone.
It's so good to be here withyou today as we say farewell to
yet again another month and wesay hello to July.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Indeed, did you get
that button right?
I think so.
Nice, jen's trying to operateand podcast at the same time.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
I'm trying to
engineer and co-host and do all
these things at the same time.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Nice, nice.
I like it yes.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
So, yes, I hit the
right button.
That's good, that's good.
So june I want to start with,because usually what we do here
is we kind of think events,people, things that have
happened in june, that have madeit special one of my favorite
moments in june that made itspecial for me is our dog's
(01:06):
birthday penelope.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Yes, yes, penny's
birthday and she was born on the
same day that my mom was bornon yes so that's a.
She's not as old as my mom, butyou know it's a.
It's a nice day to celebrate mymom.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
But you know it's a.
It's a nice day to celebratemultiple things.
Yeah, we were saying penny's 13years old she is.
Kelly says she's 12.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Okay she is which one
I'm not sure.
I mean I can't keep up withtheir age, my age and you know
I'm gonna go with 12 I'm withthat feels right, but anyways,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
So birthdays all
throughout June.
Actually we had pennies yourmoms, our son-in-laws and, of
course, our sons.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Nathan is in the last
of his 20s.
My sister calls me from Englandand she says what does that
feel like?
You know your kid's in the lastof his 20s.
You know your kid's in the lastof his 20s.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Let me tell you it
feels very good that we got
three adults that were childrenat one point in time into
adulthood, and they have donetheir own thing and they're
being prosperous.
It feels good, it feels great.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
It sure does.
So one of the things thathappened to me in June that I've
not shared on Take the Elevatoryet is something that happened
over the week.
So I am transitioning to a newposition, new department, and I
(02:45):
made that announcement to myteam and to my department.
And it's interesting, corey,because my nerves were shot.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
You know that.
Yeah, I mean you're making thissound like it was an easy
transition, but it was quitedraining and pulling really was
draining and we prepared forthat that week.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Right, cory?
You are funny though, so I haveto this story.
So you can imagine.
I've been with this team foralmost a decade Now I'm talking
about this department, my teamspecifically, about three years
or so and we've built greatrelationships and we were a
(03:19):
startup.
So if you've ever done a startup, you know the hustle and the
grind that happens.
And you now have establishedyourself and I couldn't have
done it alone, and they couldn'thave done it alone Like we
really needed each other to getit going.
So there are a lot of memoriesand, of course, I'm sad.
(03:41):
I don't know how to processthis.
You know, I'm like did I makethe right decision?
Am I ready for this?
You have all these questionsthat just kind of bring up about
doubt, right.
Then there are moments whereyou're like yeah, this is what I
want to do, this is good for me, this is a change I need.
So it's just up and down, upand down.
(04:02):
Well, one particular morning Iwas feeling a little down and
I'm at my vanity and I realizedthat a lot of the things that
happen in my mind for morningroutine happens at my vanity.
And what did I tell you where Isaid, oh, um, today is the day
(04:24):
I tell my team is that what itwas?
Is that what that day was?
last of something, last of a yes, it was the last time I was
going to facilitate our at ouremerging leaders program and my
team didn't know that because Ihadn't made the announcement yet
, so I had to hold that together, right, and so I'm thinking
(04:46):
about all these things and so Isaid it with like such a sad
face.
My tone is sad, clearly, theemotion is sad.
Corey responds with yes, yes,good for you, yay, this is
happening.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
And I'm looking at
him like yeah, there's a
disconnect here somewhere yeahno so I do those things on
purpose, because I'm and it'svery appropriate, because it's
all about energy, and that'swhat this uh podcast is about
today the different types andstyles of energy that enter into
(05:26):
your life, enter into youratmosphere, and so when jen was
going through this downwardspiral that I could tell I
wanted to reverse that lowenergy and turn it into some
high energy.
Now, was that the best way toapproach it?
Probably not.
I shouldn't stated a yes or ayay at that moment, but there is
(05:50):
a way to turn that energyaround so that it doesn't lie
flat.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Um, jen, let's just
can I just say which I thought
you really did well throughoutthat, throughout last week.
Um, you were still veryrelevant to what I was going
through, but you beautifullygave me the other side right
like what's on the other side ofyou saying yes to this position
, so it kept me grounded.
(06:17):
Um, I was definitely in twoplaces at the same time, so it
wasn't like I was discounting myfuture, because you very much
kept bringing it up.
Yeah and it was good it wasgood speaking of positive and
energy.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
That was good energy
absolutely, and I think it's
important to have that balancein your life, yeah, between the
high energy, low, low energy orno energy, and so that's what I
wanted to talk to you about,talk to the audience about how
do you feel about a week of lowenergy?
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Well, I just had a
week of low energy.
Yeah, how do I feel about it.
That's what I really want todig deep into I am never the
debbie downer, um, but I don'tthink I was necessarily bringing
everyone down around me, but myenergy was definitely different
.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
My team really
couldn't tell, though, because
that was important for me, youknow, just to maintain there's a
difference, because sometimesyou front face the low energy,
sometimes you hold it within sothat it's not seen and it's
important for you to acknowledgethat I'm living in this low
energy space, but I can't showit right now.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Right, right.
So what that's like for me is,um, I don't like it, if I can
just say that way.
It's not my normal space to bein, but I've just learned that
there are events and situationsthat um invite that, and before
(08:05):
I used to like mind over matter.
Oh, get over it, you knowyou'll get through this, and I
think those are very valuable um, motivational quotes and
sayings, but I think it's alsoimportant to experience the, the
sadness or the grief, um, asyou prepare for that somewhere
(08:27):
in you.
That's how it was for me, yeah,so I don't let it bring me
completely down.
I still stay grounded, um, butI definitely recognize like
there's a reason why I'm feelingsad.
This has to do with people andpeople that I've spent every day
with, at least every day of theweek with.
That's, that's a big deal, yeah, and to act like, oh, no,
(08:47):
worries, this is not a big, thisis not a big deal, it it's just
another transition.
That would actually make me alittle heartless and I'd be
concerned if I didn't feel that,you know.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Absolutely, and I'm
glad you recognize that, because
a lot of people don't recognizethat they spend more time at
work than they do at home, andso when you're spending that
kind of a time, you're going tobuild relationships, you're
going to build friendships,you're going to build some
enemies, because you just don'tsee eye to eye and both of you
(09:19):
are going in differentdirections.
But all those situations posedifferent energies that come
your way, that exist in yourspace or in your mind.
And are they living there witha charge or are they living
there rent free?
And that's always my questionwhat am I allowing to live in my
space or in my head?
(09:40):
rent free, and if you'reallowing low energy, no energy
or a negative energy to live inyour space for free, you might
want to second think that yeah,I can see that.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Um, man, that's a
tough one to say.
What are you charging?
Because what goes on in my mind, cory, is there are people in
my life that are pretty lowenergy, just as part of who they
are, and I don't knownecessarily what you mean by.
What do you charge?
What do you mean by that?
(10:14):
What do you charge when peoplein your life have low energy?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
So, when and I'm not
always a high energy person, but
I'm a pretty level energyperson.
So when someone comes into myspace and they're consistently
low energy and I realize likehey, you're getting to stay in
this space for free and I'm notcool with it because I can't
(10:38):
handle this low energy.
I need someone either on mylevel or above me so that I can
sustain and maintain Gotcha,sustain and maintain gotcha.
So the charge is is that youhave to deal with my high energy
either until you level up oryou tap out.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
You're like I can't,
I can't do it anymore so what I
hear you saying is that you'renot going to bring your energy
down because that person's at alow, right right, and You're
going to maintain yourhomeostasis.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Absolutely.
I have to, and I'll give youeven a better example being in a
grocery store or a supermarketand you're asking for help,
where can I find the brown rice?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Or the watermelon
with seeds.
I want to go back to thatbefore this episode is done.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
The watermelon with
seeds, the black go.
I want to go back to thatbefore this episode is done.
The watermelon with seeds, theblack seeds, the black seeds,
and and you're asking someonewho works there and probably
should know, and they're like ohwell, um, I don't know, let me
go ask so.
And so that's when I becomeengaging, because you can't
exist in this space with me at alower level of energy and you
(11:51):
work here.
You have to be like on point,and so that's where I utilize
this skill set that I've beenblessed with to be able to
charge someone in order for themto exist in my space that's
important and let me let mespeak on behalf of the person
that's low energy Cause.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
That was me this week
and, like you said, you
maintain what was it like beforeI go into what I wanted to say?
What was it like to be with mefor the week?
What price was I paying to bein your space?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Um, I think you
realized it.
Like every time it dipped belowbaseline, I was just very
intense about bringing thelevels back up and cheering you
up and sometimes cracking jokes.
We laughed a whole lot more.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Yeah, we did.
I just realized that I was likeyou took me on some comedic
type of hours.
I felt like I was getting thisstand-up comedy show for free
Absolutely type of hours.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
I felt like I was
getting this stand-up comedy
show for free, absolutely,because I mean, if you allow
both people to dip, it begins todrain, and that's what I can't
do and you also left space,though, for the conversation
absolutely but you didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Let us stay there no,
no doubt so I love what you're
saying about what you chargepeople Because at first I was
like, where in the heck is myhusband going with this?
But I get it.
Now I get it.
What I can expect is you'regoing to respect how I feel, but
you're going to try to lift meup.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Right.
Can I give one more examplebefore you go on?
So there are people that wereor could possibly still be in my
life.
I won't say for sure because Idon't want no one to get upset
but have that negative energy.
That's always just.
You know what's wrong with theworld, what's wrong with the job
, what's wrong with people, howcome this, how come that?
(13:47):
And so you can either deal withthat and allow them to live in
your space, rent free, or yougive that positive charge.
Some people will change.
(14:13):
They'll flip because you'reconscious about it.
They're not.
That's their baseline, sothey're used to being negative.
But because you recognize thatthis level of negativity is
bringing you down, you begin toflip it At some point in time.
Most people, most level-headedpeople, will flip with you.
(14:33):
Some other people don't want toflip, so they stay in that
negative space.
But they can't exist in yourspace while they're being
negative, so they opt to leave.
They didn't want to accept thecharge that you were giving, so
they opt out.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Got it.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Got it, and when I
think about how you were
maneuvering this week with me, Inot only think was it a matter
of you being there for me, but Ithink it was a matter of your
brain also saying I need toprotect me in this.
So let me make sure we balancethis out.
(15:12):
You know what I mean.
Oh yeah, so that helped mebecause we were in that space
where I felt really safe,despite the ups and downs of my
emotions, and because of thatsafety I was able to tell myself
I can handle this.
Like it just made me more aware, so I was able to regulate my
emotions more, if that makessense.
(15:33):
So having that time with youand that type of energy really
helped me and I just you know, Ithink of Corey man just this
change is going to be huge forme huge.
And then my team's goingthrough some changes, right, and
so trying to figure out how tolead change during a time where
(15:56):
I'm experiencing a new kind ofnext chapter, like climbing that
next mountain, this is a newmountain for me.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
And I have to figure
out the path, the path, the, the
trails you know, and the andthe terrain of this new land.
And so, um, I think one of thethings that helped me this week
and that I really encourageother people and even if my
team's listening now is that wekind of focus on the small wins,
(16:27):
right.
Not especially when you feellike I don't have control,
because that's actually how itfeels right now.
It's like, man, I don't havecontrol of what's to come.
I'm just kind of going in therein blind faith and going to
figure this out, right of what'sto come.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I'm just kind of
going in there in blind faith
and going to figure this out,right, and so what I like to do
is charge you with no, you havefull control.
As a matter of fact, you havemore control than anyone else,
because this is happening, thisis happening and this is
happening, and you decide when,where and how it transpires, and
if you don't take control of it, you find yourself spiraling in
(17:03):
a downward motion.
You say, well, give me anexample.
How am I in control of that?
So no one can choose to talk toyou about this scenario that's
happening in your life, unlessyou say so, and then you decide
whether you want to be happyabout it or sad about it, or
have no emotion.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
You control how you
react to it exactly you don't
necessarily control what thechanges are, because, especially
at work right, that's, there'sa change, right, okay, I got you
.
At first I was like, what doyou mean?
Another thing that's helped metoo this week is because you
start to create stories of whatcould be and that's just our
(17:42):
natural.
That is a natural response, bythe way, everybody, if you feel
like, oh, I'm being so negative,usually that happens when
there's change and we just haveto actually control our mindset,
right?
So, cory, I had said earlier,it's like what's on the other
side of?
Yes, this really helped me isstaying out of the gossip loops.
(18:03):
Oh, because they wereeverywhere.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Everywhere with
change, people have a lot to say
, and it's typically aboutthings that we don't really know
that are happening.
But because we need to makesense of what's happening, we
what do we do?
So well, create these storiesand connect things.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I'd like to offer
this as a suggestion.
What I do is a silence balance.
The moment you get into a spacewhere you're silent for about
20 to 30 minutes, your bodybegins to balance out.
Excuse me, basically, whathappens is you're allowed to
(18:44):
hear the still voice with insideyou, opposed to all the noise
happening around you, and thenyou can start to make clear
decisions on what's next and andwhat's really happening,
because most of us can balanceIf we have the right environment
.
There's some people that can't,and and that's okay.
(19:04):
But for the people that canbalance, um, in silence, that's
the safest place to go, becauseyou'll you'll figure things out
a whole lot quicker that way Ilike that because there were
times this week where I thought,oh, oh, I need downtime, I just
need to be in silence.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
But I wasn't in
silence, I was scrolling, there
was a lot of different noise andinformation and what that
actually did is kept me fromgoing through the emotions and
sorting them out right.
So what I also want to do forthe next time I have like this
(19:43):
huge change in a week, like Ijust had, is just that
consistent morning routine andwhat you said that 20 to 30
minutes should be plugged inthere.
I know when I did go for walksit was a great reset.
I can't.
I mean, there's science thatexplains it, so I don't have to
explain, but there's somethingabout when you move during this
(20:05):
time, like it resets you.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Right.
So that was um super important.
And then I just said you know,I'm not going to go in in this
with fear, right?
So I think that's part of thepositive.
The high energy mindset is notreacting in fear but being
excited about the growth that'sgoing to happen.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Right.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Yeah, so I love that
you brought this topic up.
Is there anything that wemissed or that we need to?
Speaker 2 (20:40):
well, we go deeper
and we didn't tackle how you
deal with a high energysituation or person.
Do it?
Um?
Well, I I love to pose thatquestion to you because you're
typically the highest thehighest energy in the room.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
So yeah, you got to
tell me how that works.
Um, I'll just okay.
So let me just start thisconversation this way, from one
high energy person and ifthere's another high energy
person, I tend to just calm theheck down that's really
important for me, and I don'tmind being that person, because
(21:16):
it actually kind of stresses meout.
When you've got two bigpersonalities, big energies
going.
Um, I think it's cool to letthe other live, and what's even
better is when that person kindof does the same thing.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
So there's this
amazing dance, and I think
that's where creativity livesreally yeah, I really enjoy that
when it's two high energypeople and they realize that we
need a balance here.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
We can't both compete
for this attention.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
And then both
personalities figure out the
happy medium.
Sure.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Let me share a tip,
because usually when I'm
teaching, I say the 80-20 rule.
I say the 80-20 rule.
So when you want engagement, agood practice is 20% me speaking
, 80% the group right, even incoaching sessions.
(22:12):
That's like such a wonderfulformula.
When it comes to two people inthat kind of space, I go with
60-.
So anytime, like, for example,when I'm with you and we're
talking, I am intentionallylistening 60 of the time and 40
me.
Can you see that?
Come alive?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
oh yeah, absolutely,
but please tell, tell the people
why you're so silent and I'mdoing well because you talk so
much is.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Is that what you mean
?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah, ultimately
that's what I'm saying, but a
lot of people don't think I talka lot.
You're very detail oriented.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
So when you talk to
me about something where I give
like the cliff notes, you givethe book.
So yeah, you're just reallydetailed, there's definitely no
room for confusion.
You provide great clarity.
I'll tell you that, and I'vejust learned to listen and have
(23:09):
you be able to express yourself.
So, yeah, that's the 60-40.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Now I'm high energy
and so how do people cope with
me?
I don't know.
Cory say like you see people uminteract with me.
What does it look like?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
well, it's different
for me and and I can only tell
what it looks like because, um,you're, you're the opposite with
me.
You don't always give me thehigh energy because I'm so much
and I know I'm way over the top.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, let's explain
this real quick.
Sure, so at work, which is ournine to five, right?
So we're there for nine hours.
Corey is not.
I'm going to say you are notwho you really are at work, no,
right.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Not at all.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
So you're very
subdued, chilled, it's kind of I
don't know.
It's just, it's a job.
Yeah, for me I'm like on thewhole time because of my work
and I love what I do, but I flipso by the end of the day I tend
(24:23):
to introvert some because man,like I've expelled all my energy
and now it's like, ah well, youcan imagine.
Cory is like yes, it's fouro'clock, I'm out of here and
hear me roar Right, and then I'mthe one on the receiving end of
all the energy that's pent up.
So, yeah, that's what that like.
(24:48):
And I'm like, oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
And so it's like
people are like how do you
handle this, how do you dealwith this?
And Jen was like you have noidea.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
People think how does
Corey keep up with you, or put
up with you, whatever way theysee me?
That's a good indicatoractually of how people might see
me.
If they say keep up, they mightactually be okay with me.
If they say put up, I'm goingto pay more attention to that.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Look out there.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
But I always say you
have no idea.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
None attention to
that.
Look out there.
But I I always say you have noidea.
Yeah, it's for me.
That being see, I I let meexplain this because I know a
lot of people are like oh, he,he doesn't love his job, he
doesn't love what he does.
It's not that at all.
What it is is that, if you knowI'll give a simple uh example
(25:41):
if you're a singer, you can'tsing at work all day, right?
No, no because you're in ameeting.
You're living in a musical right, but I mean, if you work in a
corporate office right and youwalk in the office singing a, a
medley of of songs right.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
How are you today?
How was your weekend?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I want to play, no
right.
But uh, eventually someonewould say you know, could you
please stop that?
I can't live in the space thatI live in with you.
Like I would break out in adance or start screaming and
people would be like what iswrong with this dude?
(26:24):
But that's me.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You would be getting
sent for drug tests exactly, so
I can't do that right, yeah, sowhat are we saying here?
Because I'm like what was thequestion?
So high energy.
So the way I deal with yourhigh energy at the end of the
day and I'm like depleted, is Ijust let it live and breathe
(26:45):
yeah, I I participate by beingthe audience yeah, and sometimes
she, she plays into it yeah butmost of the time she's just
quiet.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
You know I'm saying
why are you so quiet?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
and I think that's
maybe how people might be with
me when I'm high energy, youknow, it's like, oh, that they
just let it breathe and live, aslong as I don't cross over into
their personal space or botherthem.
And if, maybe, if I do, maybethey walk out for a little bit.
(27:21):
You know, I don't know, but, um, yeah, I just think it's cool
and people can cohabitate.
Is that the word Cohabitate?
Cohabitate, Cohabitate oh great,I got it right the first time.
So, yeah, you just learn to dothat and you learn to appreciate
all the differences.
I think that's what makes it somuch fun and so beautiful is
(27:45):
that people are so different andwhen you learn to be a team,
together or have a relationshipand stay committed to that
relationship despite thosedifferences, I think that's
where we experienced growth andthat high energy that you're
talking about and high energydoesn't necessarily, like you
know, like always loud.
It's that positive.
I think that's what you'retalking about.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
I'm talking about it
all.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Yeah.
So my messaging simple, simpleand plain.
In this climate where there'slots of challenges, lots of
information, lots of news thatmay be telling you the truth may
be not telling you the truth,you got to find your happy space
and your happy medium and ifthat is where you want to live,
(28:31):
don't let anyone come in, invadeyour space rent-free.
Charge the appropriate amountfor them to live there.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Beautifully said and,
if I may add, Sure.
My advice is to protect yourspace.
In addition to what, corey,what you shared is.
I choose joy over happy,because happy is very dependent,
I think, on different things,whereas joy is just something
(29:03):
that you choose to be, no matterwhat.
So if I'm choosing joy, you canhave the most negative person
around me who just sees all thebad, doesn't want to.
You know, recognize theblessings and the could be's and
the possibilities.
I just tap into my own joybecause it's not dependent on
(29:27):
that person or their energy, youknow.
I'm with you I love that you'rewith me all right.
Well, this was a great episode,cory, thanks for bringing this
forward.
I think it's so relevant andneeded yeah, I, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
I was in the middle
of a swallow and a hiccup and it
was just caught.
So, yes, I'm glad that, uh,this boy, I'm glad that this was
a good topic and I hope itlanded with you know a few other
people so that they can takethis information and see if it
applies to them or maybe not.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah Well, we'll be
back here next week.
Please check out our websites.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Corey's done such an
amazing job on oh yes please, I,
I can't wait, I really want Iokay, I just had a moment, but I
really want some, uh, feedbackon both websites,
fuzzyfurryforestcom and thegenko.
(30:29):
That's T-H-E-G-E-N-K-Ocom.
Go check them out, you know.
Let us know what you thinkSubscribe.
You know that'd be cool.
Join the email list and you'llbe getting some special
information on things to comeand things that are happening in
our lives right now.
To come and things that arehappening in our lives right now
(30:53):
and watch our business justkind of prosper and thrive a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Yeah, we love that.
Well, it's been great.
And you know us at Take theElevator, we say look up and
let's elevate Every day, ElevateEvery day, elevate Every day,
(31:21):
elevate Every day.