July 7, 2025 • 32 mins
"What's it like to be on the other side of me?"
This simple yet profound question has the power to transform your relationships, leadership effectiveness, and personal growth—if you're brave enough to ask it and humble enough to hear the answers.
In this deeply reflective conversation, Gen and Kory explore how the strengths we cherish about ourselves can come across to others in a completely different light.
Through vulnerable personal stories, they demonstrate how blind spots don't make us weaker; they make us human.
Whether you're leading a team, building relationships, or simply wanting to understand yourself better, this episode offers practical ways to bridge the gap between your intentions and your impact.
Accept our three-part challenge noted at the end of this episode - Your growth—and your relationships—depend on it.
Look up, and let's elevate!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hey, hey, it's Jen the Builder and Corey, and
welcome everyone to take theelevator.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Yes, welcome in and make yourselves at home and make
yourselves feel comfortable.
I hope that you're in a nice,cool place.
We've been having some hotweather lately so I really
wanted to invite people into acomfortable, cool space
absolutely, as it is thebeginning of july.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
by the way, this comes out on 7-7.
I love the double digits and Idon't really know that my
brother listens to the podcast,but it's my brother's birthday.
Yeah, sevens are all over hisbirthday, so happy birthday to
you.
Well, we've got before we getstarted and I promise it's going
(01:06):
to be a really good topic.
So, relevant to you, to me, toCorey and just everyone in
general, I wanted to give somequick announcements because I'm
super excited.
Fuzzyfurryforestcom is ourwebsite and we just updated our
bios.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Indeed.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And, corey, you've done such a beautiful job with
that website I can't.
I mean, if you have not beenthere, you really need to go.
It is so darn cute and I'mengaged and it's my own website.
Yeah, along with that, we had amishap on amazon with um some
(01:48):
books.
So kelly kinga was on amazonand we had to reformat and it
was showing up as separate fromthe other three books, right,
cory, because you forgot the lin your name is that right?
yeah, that's true and it was,but now it's back online, yeah,
and then we're working withsomeone, a good friend of ours,
(02:11):
who's reformatting sheriffslinky snake, because there was.
I think that was the first bookyou and I formatted by
ourselves.
Yeah, and it was.
I'm just gonna say it was alittle bit of a mess and that's
what happens when?
it's your first time doingsomething so intense, and so
that's going to be cleaned up.
So we'll make sure to announcewhen all four books are ready to
(02:36):
go, and we're just so excitedabout the uniformity and how
clean it's gonna look.
And again, you can get thesebooks on amazon.
I think the easier way to do itis look up cory k-o-r-y l is
the initial and then bodyb-o-d-y, and you'll see all four
enjoy.
Yeah, please do.
(02:58):
Um, I don't know that there'sanything else that we want to
share with our friends.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh, I'm not going to miss this opportunity to
acknowledge the insane and crazyfireworks that we had to endure
.
And it was a hot mess where welive.
So to everyone that survivedthat war zone, man hats off.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Our house was literally rattling.
It was so intense with illegalfireworks and what we observed
because Corey and I, you knowwe're just chilling when we live
, there's a firework show allaround us, so we don't spend our
money to just literally see itburn to the ground or burn up to
(03:47):
the sky, so we enjoy everyoneelse burning their money.
And, um, we saw people comingfrom different neighborhoods and
parking on our street and justwith their backpacks and finding
a location where they weregonna let loose, and that's
exactly what they did.
Yeah, man, I was actually scaredand had to run back in she
(04:08):
really did, I really did Ilooked at you, cory, like okay,
I'm not trying to be out hereand one of these misfires just
land on my head I and I had tosay that there was a couple of
close calls that I thought.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I don't know if it should have ignited quite like
that.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, let's go in and go inside.
Yes, I'm so grateful nothingburned down in the area.
I didn't hear about any majoraccidents, but, speaking of
which, I do want to express howmuch our hearts and prayers go
out to people in Texas and justthat flood that happened over
(04:45):
the weekend.
So sending positive thoughts,for sure, absolutely All right.
So what are we talking abouttoday?
This is one of those questions,I think, corey, that's going to
make people pause, I hope, anda question that's going to hit
different.
So here it is pause, I hope,and a question that's going to
(05:09):
hit different.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
So here it is.
What's it like to be on theother side of me?
That's a deep one, so let mestart here, jen.
What does it mean when someonesees the other side of you or
experiences the other side ofyou?
That question is, um, one ofthose that we always have to
pose, not only to ourselves, butbut to other people, and and
(05:32):
you need an honest answer inorder to be able to navigate
those waters such a good point.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I don't think this is a question we really reflect on
right or ask others.
Um, I think if you're boldenough to ask it, at the same
time you've got to be humbleenough to sit with the answers,
because I think, if you reallydo, it can absolutely be a game
changer.
I like to call them blind spots, corey.
(05:58):
Yeah, you know where we don'tsee it.
We are acting with the best ofintentions, but that impact, boy
, is a total surprise whenpeople start to share how
they're experiencing you on theother side.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Yeah, like if they say something like you were kind
of intense in the meetingearlier.
That's not something youtypically want to hear, or is it
?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Well, usually when people say you were pretty
intense, I don't think that'stypically a good vibe.
And now if they say, oh, thatwas exciting, that was great, I
was hyped, right, that'sdifferent.
But when someone says you're alittle intense even the facial
(06:45):
expression I can imagine whatthat's like.
Because, Corey, I love that,because every interaction we
have leaves an emotionalfootprint, right, so I can be
passionate.
That's what I like to say.
When people start to say, oh,that was pretty intense In my
mind, I justify it by sayingthat's just passion.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
That's a love for what I do.
You just missed my point.
I was being passionate, but youknow, jen, is a big start to um
self-awareness, yeah,understanding how to read the
room and what body languagepeople are giving you,
especially when they uh couplethat with words like intense.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yes, yes, I love that you brought up self-awareness,
because anyone who knows meknows that I am a geek over
emotional intelligence and wherewe were doing some research
earlier today and I didn't writeit down, so this is off memory,
okay, but in a work area Ithink it's like almost 60%.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I remember that number.
It's 58, to be exact.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Okay, so 58%.
So EQ accounts for 58% of jobperformance.
And when you find your top 90%performers where you work, they
have high EQ.
Not probably, or they should.
They do.
They have high EQ.
So emotional intelligencestarts with self-awareness.
(08:15):
So I think just asking thatquestion what are people
experiencing on the other sideof me, what are people
experiencing on the other sideof me?
It invites self-awareness.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Right.
Here's what that can kind oflook like.
Okay, your confidence can comeacross as arrogance.
Did you want to touch that alittle bit?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yes, I love that, because here's what we're saying
Confidence is a strength thateveryone should have, but it's
when you use these strengths toomuch or they're overused, then
it becomes something else rightso yeah, it can come off as
cocky and arrogant and that'swhy you've got to check yourself
(08:57):
right.
Regulate yourself.
That's emotional intelligence.
Is that regulation and managingyou?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
right.
Part two of that is yourempathy.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Can feel like over caretaking Ah so, corey, I think
between you and I, you're moreof an empath than I am.
You think so oh yeah, okay yeah, I think you beautifully
navigate through life withempathy in your relationships.
That, and, if I'm going to behonest, if anyone's heard of
(09:30):
strength finders like Clifton orGallup, I took that assessment
and there's 34 strengths that wehave or that they've defined.
Empathy's my last one.
So it's not that it's aweakness, it's just one that I
don't use as often.
So, over caretaking, I see thatin you because you're going to
(09:56):
ask me the question how do youexperience that on the other
side of me?
I think your empathy with me isvery healthy.
It's not over.
In fact, you push me to bebetter and, you know, for
resilience and things like that.
I think there are certainpeople that you know require a
lot of grace, and that's where Ican see your empathy, maybe
(10:18):
being like man that sure issuper, uber, intensely gracious.
You know what I mean.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
And I'm laughing because it sounds so true, it
sounds so accurate and I want toacknowledge that before I move
on, that I typically have thecaretaking position just to make
sure everyone's okay and thatno one's feeling left out.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
There's another attribute, and it could be that
your attention to detail couldbe like micromanaging, right,
how does that land?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
You notice the pause because they're like are you
talking about me?
You?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
notice how I eased into that?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I wasn't trying to just drop it like a bomb, but
you know.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Right, and I love how this is real-time feedback.
So, yes, I have an extremelyhigh attention to detail, and so
are you telling me that on theother side of me, you've
experienced it as micromanagingnow I wouldn't use that word.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Micromanagement is something that I just detest to
the utmost.
Um what, whatever?
What I've experienced from youis you want things to be
meticulous and I am meticulous,right yes, and especially when
it comes to something that hasyour name on it.
(11:56):
Um, there, there's this level ofexcellence that you ask for now
.
Does that come off asmicromanaging for me?
No, it just makes what it what.
It's done for me, jen, and I'mjust be really, really honest.
It's made me pay attention tothe details, whereas sometimes I
(12:17):
may not be doing that, and soI'm like I need jen's eyes on
this to get to the nitty grittyof what's going on.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Well, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
And it's interesting because you know they say what
there's six sides to every story.
So I love that.
That's your experience with me.
I wonder what five other peoplewould say about my attention to
detail.
I can't account for those five.
Well, and you know what?
I have to make a confessionright now, because if people who
are listening to this follow meon linkedin, they're gonna be
(12:52):
like she just made an error onher post.
And yes, I did, and it botheredme.
So my latest post is on anepisode that we shared on
hopefulness, and I thought itwas really relevant to
everything that's been happening, right?
Is that what's happening, jen?
(13:12):
Well, there's bills that havebeen passed.
That's a big impact that wetalked about, um what's
happening in Texas and in othercountries.
You know those things.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Um, so I brought that episode to light and I forgot
to end the 365th episode withclosing parentheses and I posted
and there's already interactionand I wanted to go in and edit
it.
But on LinkedIn you can't editthe picture, you can only edit
(13:48):
the text and I was like I'm justgonna let this go because you
know we make mistakes and yeah,and that's where someone might
say you're showing up intensebecause a lot of people would
just give you grace on that andlet it fly.
And there's a few pocket peoplethat would say, oh, she messed
(14:23):
that up.
Pride in the work that they doand they, you know, try to
perform an excellence like ohman, they forgot the closing
parentheses.
That's not a good look.
You see how that?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
works true.
Let's, let's take advantage ofan opportunity right here, right
now yes please.
We are going to be a businessfor the rest of our lives and we
have to allow ourselves somegrace.
This is where my caretakingtakes over.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
I love it See.
Oh, I love that my husband hasempathy.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
And so, yeah, we just have to get used to.
We're going to miss some of themarks.
We're not going to hiteverything to perfection.
I've seen the top notchcompanies and let's be really,
really clear Can we just go asbig as possible?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
There are defective and misprinted currency notes,
dollar bills, $20 bills that areworth a lot of money.
But even the highest of highestpoints of business and
government make mistakes.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Thank you, corey, that felt good.
Good, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
That was my intent.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
That was amazing, see , and I love that because we
have intention and the way youbehave then had a positive
impact.
Because that's the nextquestion, right, like when
people walk away from anexperience with me, how have I
made them feel?
What's the impact I've had onthem?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
And I don't know.
I'll speak for myself.
I don't think that way.
On every interaction I try to.
And when you have oneinteraction after another, after
another, and then a meeting,and oh, and then there's this,
that self-reflection moment kindof passes you by, and that's
why I'm a big advocate ofself-reflection at the end of
(16:23):
your day.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
But anyhow, and I'm going to give one more just to
take it to a whole nother level,which people are probably going
to be like really, um, I've,I've seen ai make horrible
mistakes yes and I could notfigure out why it was making the
mistake, that I told it indetail how to fix it.
(16:44):
You know, even robots makemistakes here, here here, here,
there's no perfection in otherwords, that's right.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Well, the funny thing , speaking of ai, and we're
digressing a little bit, butthat's okay because, yeah, we're
just talking about all thethings.
I try to use chat gpt today todo something really simple.
I never use it for thecreativity piece, it's more like
please gather all the, take theelevator episodes, create a
(17:16):
grid numbered title of theepisode with two to three
sentence of what the episode'sabout, and the reason for that
is I'm trying to bring them back, you know, when it's relevant.
Right, it couldn't do it and Iwas like, wow, so guess what?
On the platform that we use fora podcast, there's already a
(17:37):
tool there.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
And bam, there it was right there, right in front of
your face.
Yes, let's get to this last one, jen.
Okay.
Uh, decisiveness might comeacross as uh steamrolling oh,
yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
that's when people make the decision and just kind
of plow over what you think,like it doesn't matter, this is
what we're doing, and you justkind of feel like, yeah, I've,
I've been flattened, deflated.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I can see that and I've been in that position.
But I've also been in theposition where the leader of the
particular event or activityhas asked does anyone have a
suggestion?
And no one is saying anything.
And there's always that oneperson and I typically know who
(18:30):
that one person is, because Ilike to get to know who's in the
room and what personality typesthey're waiting to be either be
called on or so at the lastminute that then they'll feel
comfortable giving their answer.
And if you have a person like meor yourself and I want to just
be honest if you ask, are thereany suggestions, we're just
(18:54):
going to say what it is thatwe're going to suggest and try
to get the ball moving.
But the person that's waitingfor that opportunity or waiting
to be called on feelssteamrolled because they're
always waiting.
And I have a word of advice tothat person If you're listening,
if you're waiting to be calledon, you probably won't.
(19:16):
And if you're waiting for tillthe last minute because you want
to seem like you had time tothink about it and come up with
a great idea, you've alreadythought about it, you already
have a great idea.
Just put it out there.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
That's great, great advice, and I like that you said
that last part because in mymind, I'm thinking well, if it's
on the spot, problem solving,our friends who are thinkers and
analyzers and need to ask morequestions to come up with a
decision might need more timethan impromptu, and so I'm going
(19:54):
to add a little note, leadersthis is where we can go terribly
wrong, where we don't exercisegood change management skills
and want to bring something upat the last minute instead of
when we knew about it so we cangather the right info from the
team.
You know what I mean.
Oh yeah, all right, man, Igotta share a story, sure, okay?
(20:17):
that's what we're here for oneof my strengths actually it's in
my top five is communication,and so here's the blind spot
that got shared with me today asa matter of fact.
So communication by definitionis I find it easy to put
thoughts into words and I'm agreat conversationalist and a
(20:38):
presenter.
That's how Gallup just definesit.
So today I'm having lunch withyou and our son, nathan, and I
mentioned this transition in mylife.
That's huge.
It's happening this month andapparently I mention this
(20:59):
transition every time I talk toyou all.
And what did Nate say?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
I said how many times has mom talked about this?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
because he saw his face right.
There must, there must have beenan expression exactly, and he
said many times, like a lot oftimes, like over and over and
over and and I I guess I say itlike I'm saying it for the first
time, and so there's a blindspot I'm over communicating the
(21:30):
same message.
It's getting old, like myfamily's, very aware that this
is a big transition and it'sheavy on my mind.
But and, if I may, I just lovethe level of respect because no
one says oh my God, please stop,can you just stop talking?
Speaker 2 (21:49):
about this acknowledge it and just keep it
moving that's great.
Yeah, it is so, jen.
I have a question yes and I'mgoing to be very vulnerable
right here okay I have been toldthat I am a extreme fast driver
and not in a car.
When it comes to work, when itcomes to projects, when it comes
(22:12):
to getting things done, I'mtold that I drive, drive, drive.
And some people are not used tothat type of pace and it wears
some people out, and so I don'ttypically feel that way and I'm
just being really honest.
I feel like if there's nodriver, this thing will just sit
(22:35):
, and I'll give you someexamples, just so we can be
clear.
I felt like if I didn't drivethe EP to get done for the
Shameless Band, we would havenever got an EP.
And I was a taskmaster masterand I knew I was.
But again, I just I had this,this desire to complete this,
(22:57):
yeah, without the elongateddelays, and the one of the
delays and I'm going to wrap uphere is that we were supposed to
be finished a year before weactually finished, and that was
driving me bananas.
So can you give me somepointers, some tips, some tools
to not be such a task master,master and a hard driver when
(23:22):
I'm working on something?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
so, yes, ultimately yes, but I want to share some
thoughts.
Sure, um, I think you took onanother, or put on another, hat
because, like you said, youwaited a year and that ep turned
out to be super successful,right?
Um, I think some questions toask yourself is like okay,
(23:49):
because I'm gonna be moretransparent, because there was
supposed to be a second ep andyou had pulled back, relaxed a
little bit because you didn'twant to be that person that you
were for the first ep,absolutely so Some reflective
(24:10):
questions for me is what couldyou have done differently and
still had the same successfuloutcome within the right time
frame?
We just mentioned?
(24:35):
Communication is talking to theteam about their strengths, the
things that they want to betasked, the things that really
speak to them, right?
This is what I call work love.
And then you have the list ofthings that aren't going to be
done, and who's going to pickthat up?
And it's just project managing,and so maybe, instead of
getting all the tasks done andnow becomes managing the project
, right.
So, and I I'm gonna say,because of how you perform, I
(25:00):
think the team can really justpull back, because man cory's
intense on his own, like he lethim do it.
You know what I mean, and soyes, I do yeah, and I think you
do that really well.
With you and I as a team, youreally learn to capitalize on
our strengths.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
We know what's your lane, we know it's mine, and
then, when it gets blurred, wefigure it out yeah, that's
really, that's really umimportant when you talk about
blurred lines, because the linesget blurred continuously when
you're working to achieve a goaland everyone has their place
(25:43):
and maybe one feels like, ok, weneed to move this along a
little bit faster.
So I'm going to jump in thislane and blur the lines a little
bit.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
So yeah, you know, we just had a conversation.
Actually we were at a meetingover the weekend and one of the
ladies that was there said youknow, there's a difference
between goals and purpose andyou shouldn't get those confused
.
Like goals is different thanpurpose.
And I chimed in and saidconfused Like goals is different
(26:13):
than purpose.
And I chimed in and said yes,that's correct.
And how much more powerful isit to set your goals according
to your purpose?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
And I think that's what you got to do with a team,
and I love that.
I love that You're so right.
If your goals and purposearen't in alignment and you're
trying to do this thing, youcreate such a barrier and wall
that you can never climb over ornever get around, because your
purpose and your goals don't seeeye to eye.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Yeah, exactly, and so sometimes you might be working
with the wrong team.
I mean, at the end of the day,like if what you all are doing
doesn't line up with their lifepurpose and values, man, they
can stretch, I mean you canstill hit some goals, but it's
so different when it lines upwith your purpose.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Yeah, I think you just really answered a few
really important questions forme, answered a few really
important questions for me and Ireally am digging deep in that
because I mean it's it's toughto realize that I may be working
with the wrong team, I may bein the wrong position to do this
(27:24):
thing that I'm trying tocomplete.
Yeah, yeah, thank you oh, thankyou and thank you for all of
you listening to this in realtime.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah, so I love how EQ is the mirror and the bridge
right, so it helps, like youjust modeled, corey, it helps
you see yourself and then crossover to understand others and
then what needs to be done.
So, throughout this episode, Ilove how we gave each other
feedback and this was real-timestuff, and the thing is is when
(27:56):
people give you feedback or theygive you information that you
need to pay attention to.
That's what I like.
That's how I like to translatefeedback.
This is something I need to payattention to is not to get
defensive, right and figure thatpiece out, because this is
emotional regulation.
And then you decide what part ofthat do you own?
(28:17):
And I think that's a beautifulthing.
And then imagine what now theanswers will be is when you ask
people what do you experience onthe other side of me?
And that it's a beautifulquestion because then you get to
measure your growth and yourimpact when you're working with
team.
You know I led this firstproject and what did?
(28:40):
What did you experience on theother side of me?
And we don't ask that soimportant question.
And so what happens?
We go to the next project doingthe same thing thinking that
it's all right yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
And it so was not.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yeah, and if your team stays quiet, that might be
something else.
That's a whole nother topic,because you got to ask yourself
am I creating a space for?
Do they feel safe enough totell me how they experienced me,
or like nah?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
nah, I see this setup .
Speaker 1 (29:10):
I'm not about to answer here we go again, yeah.
Yeah, one of the things Iwanted to mention, corey, before
we close out, is that havingblind spots isn't a bad thing
and it doesn't make you weaker,it just makes you human.
Yeah, makes you human, it makesus aware that they're there.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
And that, although you've got these amazing
intentions, the impact can bedifferent.
And again, be open to lookinginto the mirror and bridging
that gap and apologizing whenneeded, because I've learned
that too.
That's something I've justlearned.
(29:50):
I've learned before, likebefore, when I was was younger,
I'd apologize if it made senseto me.
That was like the big, a bigdeal to me.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Now, if I've harmed you or hurt you or I've made you
question who you are, thatwasn't the intention and for
that I apologize yeah, I, Ialways think this, I never say
it, so here here's one of theCory L Body quotes that dance
around in my mind continuouslyIf you are an unapologetic
(30:21):
leader, you're not leading,you're failing.
That's real important to biteonto and think about.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
That is I'm going to think about that one that one
can go deep.
All right, so is it okay, gory,if I leave a personal challenge
before we wrap up?
Please do okay.
So we want to leave you with achallenge this week, and it
consists of three parts.
Number one ask a person what'sit like to be on the other side
of me.
Then the second second thing isidentify strength that you have
(30:53):
that you might be overusing.
And then three is practice oneelement of EQ that we discussed
today.
Maybe it's pausing beforereacting or noticing how others
respond to your energy.
Just practice that one element.
Just practice that one element,because growth doesn't happen
(31:14):
without awareness right andconnection won't happen without
reflection.
Yeah, that's my quote, I thinkyou.
Yeah, anyhow, I love that thisspace was real time.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yeah, me too, and that's how we operate best
anyway, so I'm all for it.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah.
So just know everyone that webelieve in you, we believe in
your capacity to elevate notjust yourself but every space
you walk into.
Until next time you know us totake the elevator, we say look
up and let's elevate every day,elevate every day, every day,
(31:53):
elevate Every day elevate Everyday.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Elevate Every day.
Hey, hey, it's Jen the Builder and Corey, and
welcome everyone to take theelevator.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Yes, welcome in and make yourselves at home and make
yourselves feel comfortable.
I hope that you're in a nice,cool place.
We've been having some hotweather lately so I really
wanted to invite people into acomfortable, cool space
absolutely, as it is thebeginning of july.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
by the way, this comes out on 7-7.
I love the double digits and Idon't really know that my
brother listens to the podcast,but it's my brother's birthday.
Yeah, sevens are all over hisbirthday, so happy birthday to
you.
Well, we've got before we getstarted and I promise it's going
(01:06):
to be a really good topic.
So, relevant to you, to me, toCorey and just everyone in
general, I wanted to give somequick announcements because I'm
super excited.
Fuzzyfurryforestcom is ourwebsite and we just updated our
bios.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Indeed.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And, corey, you've done such a beautiful job with
that website I can't.
I mean, if you have not beenthere, you really need to go.
It is so darn cute and I'mengaged and it's my own website.
Yeah, along with that, we had amishap on amazon with um some
(01:48):
books.
So kelly kinga was on amazonand we had to reformat and it
was showing up as separate fromthe other three books, right,
cory, because you forgot the lin your name is that right?
yeah, that's true and it was,but now it's back online, yeah,
and then we're working withsomeone, a good friend of ours,
(02:11):
who's reformatting sheriffslinky snake, because there was.
I think that was the first bookyou and I formatted by
ourselves.
Yeah, and it was.
I'm just gonna say it was alittle bit of a mess and that's
what happens when?
it's your first time doingsomething so intense, and so
that's going to be cleaned up.
So we'll make sure to announcewhen all four books are ready to
(02:36):
go, and we're just so excitedabout the uniformity and how
clean it's gonna look.
And again, you can get thesebooks on amazon.
I think the easier way to do itis look up cory k-o-r-y l is
the initial and then bodyb-o-d-y, and you'll see all four
enjoy.
Yeah, please do.
(02:58):
Um, I don't know that there'sanything else that we want to
share with our friends.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh, I'm not going to miss this opportunity to
acknowledge the insane and crazyfireworks that we had to endure
.
And it was a hot mess where welive.
So to everyone that survivedthat war zone, man hats off.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Our house was literally rattling.
It was so intense with illegalfireworks and what we observed
because Corey and I, you knowwe're just chilling when we live
, there's a firework show allaround us, so we don't spend our
money to just literally see itburn to the ground or burn up to
(03:47):
the sky, so we enjoy everyoneelse burning their money.
And, um, we saw people comingfrom different neighborhoods and
parking on our street and justwith their backpacks and finding
a location where they weregonna let loose, and that's
exactly what they did.
Yeah, man, I was actually scaredand had to run back in she
(04:08):
really did, I really did Ilooked at you, cory, like okay,
I'm not trying to be out hereand one of these misfires just
land on my head I and I had tosay that there was a couple of
close calls that I thought.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I don't know if it should have ignited quite like
that.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, let's go in and go inside.
Yes, I'm so grateful nothingburned down in the area.
I didn't hear about any majoraccidents, but, speaking of
which, I do want to express howmuch our hearts and prayers go
out to people in Texas and justthat flood that happened over
(04:45):
the weekend.
So sending positive thoughts,for sure, absolutely All right.
So what are we talking abouttoday?
This is one of those questions,I think, corey, that's going to
make people pause, I hope, anda question that's going to hit
different.
So here it is pause, I hope,and a question that's going to
(05:09):
hit different.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
So here it is.
What's it like to be on theother side of me?
That's a deep one, so let mestart here, jen.
What does it mean when someonesees the other side of you or
experiences the other side ofyou?
That question is, um, one ofthose that we always have to
pose, not only to ourselves, butbut to other people, and and
(05:32):
you need an honest answer inorder to be able to navigate
those waters such a good point.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I don't think this is a question we really reflect on
right or ask others.
Um, I think if you're boldenough to ask it, at the same
time you've got to be humbleenough to sit with the answers,
because I think, if you reallydo, it can absolutely be a game
changer.
I like to call them blind spots, corey.
(05:58):
Yeah, you know where we don'tsee it.
We are acting with the best ofintentions, but that impact, boy
, is a total surprise whenpeople start to share how
they're experiencing you on theother side.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Yeah, like if they say something like you were kind
of intense in the meetingearlier.
That's not something youtypically want to hear, or is it
?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Well, usually when people say you were pretty
intense, I don't think that'stypically a good vibe.
And now if they say, oh, thatwas exciting, that was great, I
was hyped, right, that'sdifferent.
But when someone says you're alittle intense even the facial
(06:45):
expression I can imagine whatthat's like.
Because, Corey, I love that,because every interaction we
have leaves an emotionalfootprint, right, so I can be
passionate.
That's what I like to say.
When people start to say, oh,that was pretty intense In my
mind, I justify it by sayingthat's just passion.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
That's a love for what I do.
You just missed my point.
I was being passionate, but youknow, jen, is a big start to um
self-awareness, yeah,understanding how to read the
room and what body languagepeople are giving you,
especially when they uh couplethat with words like intense.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yes, yes, I love that you brought up self-awareness,
because anyone who knows meknows that I am a geek over
emotional intelligence and wherewe were doing some research
earlier today and I didn't writeit down, so this is off memory,
okay, but in a work area Ithink it's like almost 60%.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I remember that number.
It's 58, to be exact.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Okay, so 58%.
So EQ accounts for 58% of jobperformance.
And when you find your top 90%performers where you work, they
have high EQ.
Not probably, or they should.
They do.
They have high EQ.
So emotional intelligencestarts with self-awareness.
(08:15):
So I think just asking thatquestion what are people
experiencing on the other sideof me, what are people
experiencing on the other sideof me?
It invites self-awareness.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Right.
Here's what that can kind oflook like.
Okay, your confidence can comeacross as arrogance.
Did you want to touch that alittle bit?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yes, I love that, because here's what we're saying
Confidence is a strength thateveryone should have, but it's
when you use these strengths toomuch or they're overused, then
it becomes something else rightso yeah, it can come off as
cocky and arrogant and that'swhy you've got to check yourself
(08:57):
right.
Regulate yourself.
That's emotional intelligence.
Is that regulation and managingyou?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
right.
Part two of that is yourempathy.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Can feel like over caretaking Ah so, corey, I think
between you and I, you're moreof an empath than I am.
You think so oh yeah, okay yeah, I think you beautifully
navigate through life withempathy in your relationships.
That, and, if I'm going to behonest, if anyone's heard of
(09:30):
strength finders like Clifton orGallup, I took that assessment
and there's 34 strengths that wehave or that they've defined.
Empathy's my last one.
So it's not that it's aweakness, it's just one that I
don't use as often.
So, over caretaking, I see thatin you because you're going to
(09:56):
ask me the question how do youexperience that on the other
side of me?
I think your empathy with me isvery healthy.
It's not over.
In fact, you push me to bebetter and, you know, for
resilience and things like that.
I think there are certainpeople that you know require a
lot of grace, and that's where Ican see your empathy, maybe
(10:18):
being like man that sure issuper, uber, intensely gracious.
You know what I mean.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
And I'm laughing because it sounds so true, it
sounds so accurate and I want toacknowledge that before I move
on, that I typically have thecaretaking position just to make
sure everyone's okay and thatno one's feeling left out.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
There's another attribute, and it could be that
your attention to detail couldbe like micromanaging, right,
how does that land?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
You notice the pause because they're like are you
talking about me?
You?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
notice how I eased into that?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I wasn't trying to just drop it like a bomb, but
you know.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Right, and I love how this is real-time feedback.
So, yes, I have an extremelyhigh attention to detail, and so
are you telling me that on theother side of me, you've
experienced it as micromanagingnow I wouldn't use that word.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Micromanagement is something that I just detest to
the utmost.
Um what, whatever?
What I've experienced from youis you want things to be
meticulous and I am meticulous,right yes, and especially when
it comes to something that hasyour name on it.
(11:56):
Um, there, there's this level ofexcellence that you ask for now
.
Does that come off asmicromanaging for me?
No, it just makes what it what.
It's done for me, jen, and I'mjust be really, really honest.
It's made me pay attention tothe details, whereas sometimes I
(12:17):
may not be doing that, and soI'm like I need jen's eyes on
this to get to the nitty grittyof what's going on.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Well, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
And it's interesting because you know they say what
there's six sides to every story.
So I love that.
That's your experience with me.
I wonder what five other peoplewould say about my attention to
detail.
I can't account for those five.
Well, and you know what?
I have to make a confessionright now, because if people who
are listening to this follow meon linkedin, they're gonna be
(12:52):
like she just made an error onher post.
And yes, I did, and it botheredme.
So my latest post is on anepisode that we shared on
hopefulness, and I thought itwas really relevant to
everything that's been happening, right?
Is that what's happening, jen?
(13:12):
Well, there's bills that havebeen passed.
That's a big impact that wetalked about, um what's
happening in Texas and in othercountries.
You know those things.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Um, so I brought that episode to light and I forgot
to end the 365th episode withclosing parentheses and I posted
and there's already interactionand I wanted to go in and edit
it.
But on LinkedIn you can't editthe picture, you can only edit
(13:48):
the text and I was like I'm justgonna let this go because you
know we make mistakes and yeah,and that's where someone might
say you're showing up intensebecause a lot of people would
just give you grace on that andlet it fly.
And there's a few pocket peoplethat would say, oh, she messed
(14:23):
that up.
Pride in the work that they doand they, you know, try to
perform an excellence like ohman, they forgot the closing
parentheses.
That's not a good look.
You see how that?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
works true.
Let's, let's take advantage ofan opportunity right here, right
now yes please.
We are going to be a businessfor the rest of our lives and we
have to allow ourselves somegrace.
This is where my caretakingtakes over.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
I love it See.
Oh, I love that my husband hasempathy.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
And so, yeah, we just have to get used to.
We're going to miss some of themarks.
We're not going to hiteverything to perfection.
I've seen the top notchcompanies and let's be really,
really clear Can we just go asbig as possible?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
There are defective and misprinted currency notes,
dollar bills, $20 bills that areworth a lot of money.
But even the highest of highestpoints of business and
government make mistakes.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Thank you, corey, that felt good.
Good, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
That was my intent.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
That was amazing, see , and I love that because we
have intention and the way youbehave then had a positive
impact.
Because that's the nextquestion, right, like when
people walk away from anexperience with me, how have I
made them feel?
What's the impact I've had onthem?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
And I don't know.
I'll speak for myself.
I don't think that way.
On every interaction I try to.
And when you have oneinteraction after another, after
another, and then a meeting,and oh, and then there's this,
that self-reflection moment kindof passes you by, and that's
why I'm a big advocate ofself-reflection at the end of
(16:23):
your day.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
But anyhow, and I'm going to give one more just to
take it to a whole nother level,which people are probably going
to be like really, um, I've,I've seen ai make horrible
mistakes yes and I could notfigure out why it was making the
mistake, that I told it indetail how to fix it.
(16:44):
You know, even robots makemistakes here, here here, here,
there's no perfection in otherwords, that's right.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Well, the funny thing , speaking of ai, and we're
digressing a little bit, butthat's okay because, yeah, we're
just talking about all thethings.
I try to use chat gpt today todo something really simple.
I never use it for thecreativity piece, it's more like
please gather all the, take theelevator episodes, create a
(17:16):
grid numbered title of theepisode with two to three
sentence of what the episode'sabout, and the reason for that
is I'm trying to bring them back, you know, when it's relevant.
Right, it couldn't do it and Iwas like, wow, so guess what?
On the platform that we use fora podcast, there's already a
(17:37):
tool there.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
And bam, there it was right there, right in front of
your face.
Yes, let's get to this last one, jen.
Okay.
Uh, decisiveness might comeacross as uh steamrolling oh,
yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
that's when people make the decision and just kind
of plow over what you think,like it doesn't matter, this is
what we're doing, and you justkind of feel like, yeah, I've,
I've been flattened, deflated.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I can see that and I've been in that position.
But I've also been in theposition where the leader of the
particular event or activityhas asked does anyone have a
suggestion?
And no one is saying anything.
And there's always that oneperson and I typically know who
(18:30):
that one person is, because Ilike to get to know who's in the
room and what personality typesthey're waiting to be either be
called on or so at the lastminute that then they'll feel
comfortable giving their answer.
And if you have a person like meor yourself and I want to just
be honest if you ask, are thereany suggestions, we're just
(18:54):
going to say what it is thatwe're going to suggest and try
to get the ball moving.
But the person that's waitingfor that opportunity or waiting
to be called on feelssteamrolled because they're
always waiting.
And I have a word of advice tothat person If you're listening,
if you're waiting to be calledon, you probably won't.
(19:16):
And if you're waiting for tillthe last minute because you want
to seem like you had time tothink about it and come up with
a great idea, you've alreadythought about it, you already
have a great idea.
Just put it out there.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
That's great, great advice, and I like that you said
that last part because in mymind, I'm thinking well, if it's
on the spot, problem solving,our friends who are thinkers and
analyzers and need to ask morequestions to come up with a
decision might need more timethan impromptu, and so I'm going
(19:54):
to add a little note, leadersthis is where we can go terribly
wrong, where we don't exercisegood change management skills
and want to bring something upat the last minute instead of
when we knew about it so we cangather the right info from the
team.
You know what I mean.
Oh yeah, all right, man, Igotta share a story, sure, okay?
(20:17):
that's what we're here for oneof my strengths actually it's in
my top five is communication,and so here's the blind spot
that got shared with me today asa matter of fact.
So communication by definitionis I find it easy to put
thoughts into words and I'm agreat conversationalist and a
(20:38):
presenter.
That's how Gallup just definesit.
So today I'm having lunch withyou and our son, nathan, and I
mentioned this transition in mylife.
That's huge.
It's happening this month andapparently I mention this
(20:59):
transition every time I talk toyou all.
And what did Nate say?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
I said how many times has mom talked about this?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
because he saw his face right.
There must, there must have beenan expression exactly, and he
said many times, like a lot oftimes, like over and over and
over and and I I guess I say itlike I'm saying it for the first
time, and so there's a blindspot I'm over communicating the
(21:30):
same message.
It's getting old, like myfamily's, very aware that this
is a big transition and it'sheavy on my mind.
But and, if I may, I just lovethe level of respect because no
one says oh my God, please stop,can you just stop talking?
Speaker 2 (21:49):
about this acknowledge it and just keep it
moving that's great.
Yeah, it is so, jen.
I have a question yes and I'mgoing to be very vulnerable
right here okay I have been toldthat I am a extreme fast driver
and not in a car.
When it comes to work, when itcomes to projects, when it comes
(22:12):
to getting things done, I'mtold that I drive, drive, drive.
And some people are not used tothat type of pace and it wears
some people out, and so I don'ttypically feel that way and I'm
just being really honest.
I feel like if there's nodriver, this thing will just sit
(22:35):
, and I'll give you someexamples, just so we can be
clear.
I felt like if I didn't drivethe EP to get done for the
Shameless Band, we would havenever got an EP.
And I was a taskmaster masterand I knew I was.
But again, I just I had this,this desire to complete this,
(22:57):
yeah, without the elongateddelays, and the one of the
delays and I'm going to wrap uphere is that we were supposed to
be finished a year before weactually finished, and that was
driving me bananas.
So can you give me somepointers, some tips, some tools
to not be such a task master,master and a hard driver when
(23:22):
I'm working on something?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
so, yes, ultimately yes, but I want to share some
thoughts.
Sure, um, I think you took onanother, or put on another, hat
because, like you said, youwaited a year and that ep turned
out to be super successful,right?
Um, I think some questions toask yourself is like okay,
(23:49):
because I'm gonna be moretransparent, because there was
supposed to be a second ep andyou had pulled back, relaxed a
little bit because you didn'twant to be that person that you
were for the first ep,absolutely so Some reflective
(24:10):
questions for me is what couldyou have done differently and
still had the same successfuloutcome within the right time
frame?
We just mentioned?
(24:35):
Communication is talking to theteam about their strengths, the
things that they want to betasked, the things that really
speak to them, right?
This is what I call work love.
And then you have the list ofthings that aren't going to be
done, and who's going to pickthat up?
And it's just project managing,and so maybe, instead of
getting all the tasks done andnow becomes managing the project
, right.
So, and I I'm gonna say,because of how you perform, I
(25:00):
think the team can really justpull back, because man cory's
intense on his own, like he lethim do it.
You know what I mean, and soyes, I do yeah, and I think you
do that really well.
With you and I as a team, youreally learn to capitalize on
our strengths.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
We know what's your lane, we know it's mine, and
then, when it gets blurred, wefigure it out yeah, that's
really, that's really umimportant when you talk about
blurred lines, because the linesget blurred continuously when
you're working to achieve a goaland everyone has their place
(25:43):
and maybe one feels like, ok, weneed to move this along a
little bit faster.
So I'm going to jump in thislane and blur the lines a little
bit.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
So yeah, you know, we just had a conversation.
Actually we were at a meetingover the weekend and one of the
ladies that was there said youknow, there's a difference
between goals and purpose andyou shouldn't get those confused
.
Like goals is different thanpurpose.
And I chimed in and saidconfused Like goals is different
(26:13):
than purpose.
And I chimed in and said yes,that's correct.
And how much more powerful isit to set your goals according
to your purpose?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
And I think that's what you got to do with a team,
and I love that.
I love that You're so right.
If your goals and purposearen't in alignment and you're
trying to do this thing, youcreate such a barrier and wall
that you can never climb over ornever get around, because your
purpose and your goals don't seeeye to eye.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Yeah, exactly, and so sometimes you might be working
with the wrong team.
I mean, at the end of the day,like if what you all are doing
doesn't line up with their lifepurpose and values, man, they
can stretch, I mean you canstill hit some goals, but it's
so different when it lines upwith your purpose.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Yeah, I think you just really answered a few
really important questions forme, answered a few really
important questions for me and Ireally am digging deep in that
because I mean it's it's toughto realize that I may be working
with the wrong team, I may bein the wrong position to do this
(27:24):
thing that I'm trying tocomplete.
Yeah, yeah, thank you oh, thankyou and thank you for all of
you listening to this in realtime.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah, so I love how EQ is the mirror and the bridge
right, so it helps, like youjust modeled, corey, it helps
you see yourself and then crossover to understand others and
then what needs to be done.
So, throughout this episode, Ilove how we gave each other
feedback and this was real-timestuff, and the thing is is when
(27:56):
people give you feedback or theygive you information that you
need to pay attention to.
That's what I like.
That's how I like to translatefeedback.
This is something I need to payattention to is not to get
defensive, right and figure thatpiece out, because this is
emotional regulation.
And then you decide what part ofthat do you own?
(28:17):
And I think that's a beautifulthing.
And then imagine what now theanswers will be is when you ask
people what do you experience onthe other side of me?
And that it's a beautifulquestion because then you get to
measure your growth and yourimpact when you're working with
team.
You know I led this firstproject and what did?
(28:40):
What did you experience on theother side of me?
And we don't ask that soimportant question.
And so what happens?
We go to the next project doingthe same thing thinking that
it's all right yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
And it so was not.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yeah, and if your team stays quiet, that might be
something else.
That's a whole nother topic,because you got to ask yourself
am I creating a space for?
Do they feel safe enough totell me how they experienced me,
or like nah?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
nah, I see this setup .
Speaker 1 (29:10):
I'm not about to answer here we go again, yeah.
Yeah, one of the things Iwanted to mention, corey, before
we close out, is that havingblind spots isn't a bad thing
and it doesn't make you weaker,it just makes you human.
Yeah, makes you human, it makesus aware that they're there.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
And that, although you've got these amazing
intentions, the impact can bedifferent.
And again, be open to lookinginto the mirror and bridging
that gap and apologizing whenneeded, because I've learned
that too.
That's something I've justlearned.
(29:50):
I've learned before, likebefore, when I was was younger,
I'd apologize if it made senseto me.
That was like the big, a bigdeal to me.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Now, if I've harmed you or hurt you or I've made you
question who you are, thatwasn't the intention and for
that I apologize yeah, I, Ialways think this, I never say
it, so here here's one of theCory L Body quotes that dance
around in my mind continuouslyIf you are an unapologetic
(30:21):
leader, you're not leading,you're failing.
That's real important to biteonto and think about.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
That is I'm going to think about that one that one
can go deep.
All right, so is it okay, gory,if I leave a personal challenge
before we wrap up?
Please do okay.
So we want to leave you with achallenge this week, and it
consists of three parts.
Number one ask a person what'sit like to be on the other side
of me.
Then the second second thing isidentify strength that you have
(30:53):
that you might be overusing.
And then three is practice oneelement of EQ that we discussed
today.
Maybe it's pausing beforereacting or noticing how others
respond to your energy.
Just practice that one element.
Just practice that one element,because growth doesn't happen
(31:14):
without awareness right andconnection won't happen without
reflection.
Yeah, that's my quote, I thinkyou.
Yeah, anyhow, I love that thisspace was real time.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yeah, me too, and that's how we operate best
anyway, so I'm all for it.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah.
So just know everyone that webelieve in you, we believe in
your capacity to elevate notjust yourself but every space
you walk into.
Until next time you know us totake the elevator, we say look
up and let's elevate every day,elevate every day, every day,
(31:53):
elevate Every day elevate Everyday.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Elevate Every day.
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