July 14, 2025 • 39 mins
What are you truly chasing in life, and is it leading you somewhere meaningful? We've all experienced that hamster-wheel feeling—constantly moving but never actually arriving anywhere. This conversation digs into the profound difference between mere motion and purposeful pursuit.
Sustainability emerges as a robust framework for evaluating what matters most. When Kory states that "sustainability equals life," it shifts our perspective on everything. We explore how pursuits that sustain us create opportunities for greater purpose, while those that plague us lead to collapse and torment.
The journey isn't always straightforward. We share personal stories about navigating both distracting detours (those that pull us off course) and divine detours (those that redirect us toward something better).
Perhaps most valuable are the questions we explore: What matters to me now? What am I willing to let go of? Who am I becoming in this process? And crucially, is this pursuit truly mine or someone else's expectation? Your answers might revolutionize your direction.
Whether you're questioning your career path, relationships, or personal goals, this episode offers a compassionate but challenging framework to evaluate what you're really chasing and why. We invite you to pick just one thing this week to pursue with genuine intention, no matter how small.
Look up and let's elevate—every day.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
hey, it's jen the builder and cory and I obviously
felt like I needed to come inon the music still on full blast
.
It's all good sometimes.
It be that way.
If I had a choice, I thinktoday I'd probably keep the
music playing the whole time.
It's that kind of energy for meyeah, jen, you know what?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
let's just start this thing off with a bang.
So, bang, bang.
We had a very active weekend.
We did some, uh, differentthings this weekend that that we
hadn't done in a long time.
Would you like to throw a fewthings out there?
Would you like for me to justramble it off?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
well, you can ramble off, but first I want to say
that there was a stretch for me,because I don't know if
anyone's ever experienced this,but my emotions this week were
just all over the place, likejust all the feelings and ups
and downs, and I carried it inmy face.
(01:13):
So I'll explain that later.
But it felt like a combinationof congestion in my sinus, a
toothache lockjaw although I'venever had that and just a
headache in my temple and thenstress in the back of my neck.
So the weekend I experiencedmajor remnants of that.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
So while we were doing things that we haven't
done in a long time, um, I hadto carry all this stuff going on
in my face right now yeah, so,um, not to minimize that at all,
but I just wanted to highlightsomething that we did and we've
been redecorating our backyardand I know that brings joy to
(02:00):
jen.
So that's what I was trying toget our mind off of some of the
sad things that we wereexperiencing and they're not sad
in a way like we're we're inloss, but, um, jen is moving to
a different team and she's goingto miss her old team, and so
just wanted to experience somereally nice things in this
(02:21):
transition and it did do that.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Um, I felt it's funny because it ties very well into
our topic for today.
It does so, um, I'm just goingto go ahead and put what today's
about, um, sometimes ourdistractions or we create
distractions in our pursuit ofsomething bigger right To kind
(02:47):
of not feel the impact as much.
But today we're going to talkabout pursuit and what we're
really chasing in this life, andis it leading us towards
something meaningful or is itjust keeping us busy?
So stay tuned, because beforewe do that I know, corey, you've
got some announcements you wantto share with our friends.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, I just wanted to put out there.
You know we're doing some bigthings, guys, and we're going to
be showing up in some unusualplaces because we have a little
bit longer reach now that we'vegot book number four out.
So just be on the lookout forthe things, the exciting news
that we're going to beannouncing, not to mention on
(03:28):
Amazon.
All four books are availableand they're all categorized the
right way, and we're just reallyexcited about this.
Big things are happening for usand we thank everyone for being
a part of that journey yeah, solet's talk about the categories
real quick.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Kelly kanga, our recent book, the fourth one was
categorized as a cookbook, and Iguess it would be kind of cute
if it was.
Kelly kanga cooks right, butthat's not what it was.
So I definitely want to give ashout out to petra, who has
partnered with us in aligningand cleaning up our stuff on
(04:11):
Amazon.
It's a lot of work, a lot oftedious work.
So, corey, you and Petra havejust done an amazing job working
together.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yeah, just banging it out.
And there's another person inthe background, but I'm not sure
if I'm at liberty to disclosethat just yet.
But yeah, petra man, what atrooper yeah, so gory let's.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Let's go ahead and start this.
You mentioned the weekend, sure.
With all of that, what's onething that you woke up wanting
today or over the weekend?
Was it peace, purpose progressor just to make it through?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
oh, jen, that that's tough, you know, for me.
I'm always pushing for progress, I'm always pushing for purpose
.
I'm pushing for purpose in myprogress and progress in my
purpose.
I'm very driven with what Ineed to get done, because we're
(05:10):
always talking about time andI'm sure that's going to play a
part in this conversation aswell.
So, yeah, I'm just reallypushing for and, guys, I'm not
overly serious, I play, I goofoff, I have a good time, but
even in that, there's still apurpose and a process that we
need to follow.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I really love how you just did that.
I gave you a choice of threeand you went with all of the
above, and that makes sense isto have progress in the purpose,
purpose in your progress and Ithink underlying in all of that
is to have peace through it all.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Look at you.
Wow, this is going to be good.
So let's talk about real quickwhat we mean by pursuit, right?
I don't think that's a verycommon word we use nowadays.
I mean, we talk about what areyou chasing?
What do you want?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Well, I love that word pursuit though.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah, let's talk about that.
What do you love about it?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
I love that.
It describes me to a T Likewhen I think about how I got you
.
I was in pursuit.
I was in hot pursuit to get Jen, you know, to make sure that
she was going to be my wife.
And I made it clear on day onethat you know I'm not out here
dating to date people and get toknow people, I'm dating to get
(06:34):
married.
So that made the pursuitserious and so she had an option
at that point, like do Icontinue with this guy that's
really serious from jump, or doI just deter him and tell him oh
no, I'm not trying to do allthat, but I mean we were both in
our 30s so I thought it was agood way to do that.
(06:55):
But yeah, I love the wordpursuit because it just it shows
so much meaning and intentionmuch meaning and intention.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yeah, and I love that you brought up the story of
your pursuit of me, because Ithink we're gonna weave that in
to different parts of today'sepisode.
So what I'm hearing you sayingis it's more than just the goal
or the dream, right?
So the goal was to get married?
Yeah, maybe the dream was maryjen.
Yeah, right, but the pursuit isthen the active energy that we
(07:26):
pour into something.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, it's all the energy.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
It's like you fill the tank up with that particular
energy so that you don't, youknow, run out of steam.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, so what are some common pursuits that we see
in our, our world, people thatwe know?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
The typical pursuit is career, then there's
relationship.
You have a pursuit to achieve acertain amount of money.
Some people are in pursuit ofhappiness.
Um, I don't know if happinessis obtainable, though, and
that's just my perspective.
(08:10):
I'm not saying that's true foranybody else.
That's just what I think.
So I don't pursue happiness, Ipursue my purpose, and my
purpose brings me joy.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
There's a lot to unpack there.
So you mentioned career andrelationship.
To me, that speaks to the goalor the dream, right?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
But when I think of the pursuit so, for example,
when I think of man, what is itthat I'm pursuing when I decide
to make a career change?
For some people, it might besuccess.
Some people go for titles, soit's about status.
Stability, especially now forpeople, is a big pursuit, or
(08:59):
sustainability?
Yeah, and I want to talk aboutthat answer because, corey, you
are so brilliant.
Let me take a little bit of adetour.
Uh-oh, some of the ways thatCorey and I are so if we had to
talk about our norms.
One of them is when we have anidea for the episode or there's
something on our mind, we textit to each other, even if we're
(09:21):
in the same house.
And we text it to each othereven if we're in the same house.
And the reason why we do thatis because we want to capture
that thought and make sure it'sdocumented somewhere, because we
do that a lot Like what did wetalk about?
We really wanted to bring thatforward in the episode, and then
it gives us time to collaborateor just share our thoughts on
(09:41):
it.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Digest.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, so I had put in a text last week or the week
before.
I said life is not, we're notpromised tomorrow and time is
short.
What are you in pursuit of?
And I really want to talk aboutyour answer in a second, corey,
okay, but you mentionedrelationships, and so if that is
someone's goal, is a healthyrelationship.
(10:11):
I think the pursuit in arelationship is always love, a
sense of belonging, right, um,and I'm just going to say
sometimes it's approval, maybenot in relationships, but the
way we look, the things that wedo pursue, because it's what
society says should be the thing.
(10:32):
In our world, what's theexpectation?
Or, in our culture, what aresome pursuits that are given to
us as the norm, and how might weneed to unlearn those things?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, I like that.
I like that a lot.
It's along the lines that I wasalready thinking, along the
lines that I was alreadythinking.
You know, one of the bigpursuits that were given from
birth is marriage.
Yeah, girls are taught to bemarried and boys are taught to
(11:20):
get jobs and careers, and thatwas a big part of what we were
taught, as you and I and ourgeneration and our cultures.
Let's talk about that marriagething first and foremost,
because if that's somethingyou're truly pursuing, then you
need as much education aboutwhat it takes to maintain, again
, stability, sustainability, amarriage, and so get as much
(11:44):
information as you can.
And then, when you talk about acareer Jen, you know I'm going
to get in trouble on this one,but I got to go there.
Okay, I just got to be really,really honest Most careers are
designed to make someone elserich.
Most careers are designed tomake someone else wealthy, and
(12:05):
some careers bring you goodfeeling based on very temporary
successes, and you don't get tohave those long-term successes
because the door continues torevolve.
Being an educator if you're alifelong educator, yeah, you get
to touch lives, uh, but they'redifferent lives.
(12:28):
You don't get to see thoselives the whole way through.
And so when you become aneducator of life, it all, it
changes the dynamic.
But when you, when you'retalking about careers, um, again
, this is designed to makesomeone else very wealthy and
(12:49):
give you just enough money tomake it I can see what you're
saying and agree to an extent.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
I also think that if your career, so if the pursuit
of your career, is to make money, the reality is you might make
some money, but the reality isyou're making someone else more
money.
That's the formula or thelayout of having a boss.
(13:20):
Now, for me, if your career islined up with a pursuit of your
purpose, then it becomes moreand it becomes intrinsic.
And sometimes people can't seewhat that pursuit is.
So I'm just going to not speakin code and speak for myself.
(13:40):
So in the last decade or so, mypursuit has been in partnering
with people and in the learningenvironment, in the professional
development space and coaching.
Before that it was nursing andmaking sure that people had
(14:02):
access to get the care that theyneeded outside of a hospital,
right, right, so this careerchange continues to align with
that purpose, absolutely.
Except in this career changeI'm leaving the professional
development piece and going moreinto the holistic approach of
supporting people who I get tobecause they're in the workforce
(14:26):
, trying to ensure that peoplein the community are taken care
of.
So when it's big like that, forme the pursuit is no longer
about the career but my purposein life.
You know what I mean, right.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Okay, let me just sprinkle some seasoning on top
of that just to see where itlands.
Okay, if you remove yourselfand your purpose away from an
employer, maintain that purpose.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Yes, that's what purpose is.
It's not just about.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
What happens as soon as you remove yourself away from
the employer, keep the purposeand still have what you're doing
, you become not only the personwith the career, but you also
become the employer, and youalso become the person working
to make yourself more money.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yes, so now you've made it multivalued, absolutely.
Yeah, I hear you, I hear you.
So in just a minute we're goingto talk about the most deep
thing that, corey, you've evershared with me.
And you were just a deepthinker and this one blew my
mind, but I wanted to talk toset the.
(15:50):
The space up is that there's adifference between being in
motion and having directionright, so this links to your,
your pursuit.
Yeah, so I I love this, becausewe don't want to confuse
activity with purpose, like youwere just talking about.
You know things that peoplecould do at work, at activity,
(16:12):
but is it lined up with yourpurpose?
Because even a treadmill givesyou movement, but you never go
anywhere.
True, or a track will give youmovement, but you're seeing the
(16:37):
same thing over and over andover motion, like you're not
getting into, you're not takinga walk or run and landing in
another physical destination,right, right, okay, so go ahead.
Cory, when I sent you that text, what were you thinking?
Because you responded I swearin like 15, 20 seconds.
(17:01):
I was like, how does he comeback with a question where I'm
like, whoa, this is deep, what,what, what a question to think
about.
And you just responded in themanner in which you did.
You want to share what you said?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
sure?
So just to give a quickreminder, jen texted me living
like time is limited, callingwhat are you in pursuit of and
why?
And so I responded time is verylimited.
The pursuit is to createsustainability.
(17:38):
Sustainability equals life.
Life equals opportunity formore of God's work.
God's work equals well done,thy good and faithful servant.
(18:00):
Now, if I can just elaborateshortly on what I was thinking
and how that came about,everything that we're attempting
to do in our pursuit to ourgoals and what we're trying to
build here has to be sustainable, so it has to be something that
can continue on and on, and onand on.
If you don't have that, if youdon't create something that
(18:23):
someone needs forever, then yougot to keep on creating, and the
more you create, the more tiredyou get.
So I'm looking forsustainability.
If you have sustainability,then it adds to your life.
I mean, it takes away the needfor more money, because the
(18:44):
money will become one of thosethings that's continuously
coming in.
Then bills are paid, thenworries are less, stress is less
, and then it creates moreopportunities, more
opportunities to help people,more opportunities to lend to
(19:05):
the and not be the borrower fromeverything that you're doing.
It's important in my beliefsystem to be able to give to
people or lend, if need be, inorder, and instead of always
having to borrow or go to afinancial institution and get
(19:26):
money, and also with my faithand my belief system, I believe
that aligns with biblicalprinciple.
That's just how.
I think it was funny when yousent me that I was already in
that mode, so it was just one ofthose things that rolled off my
the top of my head wow.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
So the timing of it was everything.
So, as Corey was sharing this,I got uber excited because you
had shared with me not just lifehere, but ultimately what it
was about, and I got so excitedthat we had a conversation about
that word sustainability.
And I tend to go black or white, right, like when you're making
(20:12):
a decision.
So, in other words, let me givean example when you're working
with people, you're either doingone of two things you're either
harming or healing.
Right, and so when you thinkabout it that way, my
interaction is either going topromote harm or it's going to
promote a place of healing.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Oh that just landed all kind of warm and fuzzy, wow,
okay yes.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
So for me, like, although we live in a lot of
gray, I try, when it comes topeople, I try not to live in
that gray same thing.
When you said sustainability, Isaid cory, what, what, what's
the opposite of sustainability?
whenever you go into antonyms, Ithink it like adds so much more
impact in the thought.
(20:58):
So the antonym ofsustainability sustainability or
the opposite is to collapseunder, to torment or to plague.
And it just hit me.
What in my life, what actions,what people, what relationships,
(21:18):
what activities, what events,what decisions am I making that
promote sustainability right formy life, so that way we have
time to do the good work andthere's a bigger reward, a
bigger purpose?
So what am I doing to sustain?
(21:39):
Or are there things that arehappening that are plaguing me,
tormenting me or making me feellike I'm collapsing under all
this weight?
Speaker 2 (21:49):
How we and Jen, if you just slightly tweak that you
could be plaguing someone.
Yes or collapsing on someone.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
That's real talk, or?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
tormenting someone.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Real talk.
Yeah, man on someone.
that's real tormenting someonereal talk, yeah, man and when
you're conscious of that andwhen you're intentional, and
that is like what you'rethinking, like right now, I'm
with this person.
Am I sustaining them or am Iplaguing them, tormenting them?
(22:21):
Those are deep words, deepwords.
So for me, it's what gives yourpursuit meaning.
Your answer gave my pursuitmeaning, nice, and it just
reminded me of how important itis, speaking of sustaining, that
(22:42):
we talk to one another or weconnect with people, because
there within lies the gift thatyou didn't realize that you
needed, right.
My question was coming more froma sense of oh my goodness,
time's passing us by.
You know time to check in,corey.
(23:02):
What are we pursuing here?
And then I was more into thewhat and the tasks and things
like that.
I mean, I knew it was a deepquestion, but for you to share
what you thought, it just putthings into perspective, it
aligned.
I immediately thought of values.
When you were talking earlierabout why you said
sustainability, one could tellCorey that one of your values is
(23:27):
taking care of people, and totake care of people it's
important that we have thefinances to do that.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Absolutely yeah, yeah .
Speaker 1 (23:36):
That's how it's always been for us and so that
is a value of yours.
So whenever we're doingsomething, the pursuit is okay.
How does this help in helpingand I love to help people that
way too, and I'm thinking onspiritually, emotionally,
mentally how is this helpingpeople?
(23:58):
And that is my pursuit, and Ithink the beauty of genco is
that we both have the samepursuit, but it supports and
it's aligned with our gifts andtalents right you know that
we've been given.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Yeah can I, can I jump in there real?
Please do so.
Um, let me just say it likethis people aren't good at
multiple things.
Typically, you have youranomalies that come along, like
Prince, who can play everyinstrument, or Bo Jackson, which
, if you're as old as I am, youremember.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Bo.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Jackson, who played baseball football, and you know
just a name I haven't heard inso long.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
He was just phenomenal, or even some others.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
We can go on all day with a few people that have
these multiple gifts, buttypically people have one thing
that they're good at, and ifyou're good at something, it's
cool, but if you can elevategood to great, now you're
talking about something you cansustain yeah, and that's
important.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I love what you said because it's our strengths.
And when people talk about youknow, oh, this is my goal as a
coach.
I think it's awesome to havegoals, but I think we can get
inundated with them.
Yeah, right, right.
And we've got to go back towhat this is about.
Who are you, what are yourstrengths and how are they
(25:27):
bringing meaning andcontribution into your life?
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Like let's talk about those things.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yeah, you just hit them.
That's exactly where I wasgoing, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah, so where I'm going.
I've had to talk this out and Ifinally come to this.
The reason why I make I've justmade this career move is that
pursuit that may be invisible tosome and that's healing right.
It's spiritual growth, not justfor people I get to work with
(26:00):
and touch, but for myself, likethat's so needed right now.
I feel like that's where I needto be, yeah, and and I love
that.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
And then I say love because what I know that other
people don't know is that thismove is not just growing you
internally, it's growing growingyou externally as well, and so
it's not only pushing theboundaries within the career
that you're in, but it's pullingyou outside of that career.
(26:31):
To change it to something morethan just how do I say that word
?
What am I looking for?
It automatically becomessustainable because it's not
just for you not you the person,jen but for the people that
you're serving.
(26:51):
It becomes accessible andavailable for everyone.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
And I think why it really speaks right now is
because of the state of theworld that we're in.
Like it's just been heavy on me.
You know there we go Under thepressure of, or, you know,
tormenting me.
Yeah, by not making thisdecision, it would have
continued to torment me, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And so I mean I guess we have to come clean about
what's really happening.
You know, we have thesepolitical issues jumping off all
around us, we have floods andfires and all these things, and
we kind of see the systemtipping their hand and showing
us that some torment and tortureis coming.
(27:37):
And so, in order for us to havesustainability, we got to keep
up, we got to be running at apace that's much faster than
what the system is preparing usfor.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Oh, I love how you're linking that to the word
pursuit.
Yeah, yeah, it's that chase,the running, the going after,
right?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
So the things that you've mentioned the way I would
define those is distractingdetours and then you have divine
detours, the detours that aremeant to pause you so you can
reflect, say, hey, I'm off trackoh, we just had one of those,
an amazing detour, and that waspurposeful in the scheme of
(28:25):
things, because we needed tomeet Petra, we needed to have
our paths crossed so that we canget back on track, because we
were detoured with some finetuning in the elements of the
books, and so that helped us ina way that we can.
It's priceless.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
So you mentioned some detours that pull people off
course, like the news, socialmedia comparisons.
Perfectionism is something thatpeople are in pursuit of, that
we all know you'll never getthere.
So then you experience burnoutor the fear of disappointing
others.
Right, I want to go back andlighten it up a little bit to
(29:06):
when you were pursuing me,because you had the goal of um
we always go back to gin let.
Uh, that's very narcissistic,isn't it?
no, I'm just uh I was like,should we change the topic?
I, because I had said I'd liketo go back to that when let's
talk about some detours even inthat, just even in our
(29:28):
relationship.
Um, in the beginning,distracting detours for me.
Well, first of all, I wasn'tready for what you were bringing
to the table.
um, I was at a point in my lifewhere I was like what I'm not in
pursuit, what I was in pursuitof, the detour there was, quite
honestly, it was veryself-destructive.
(29:48):
And so to be ready toexperience that kind of love and
that kind of commitment justwasn't happening because we were
in pursuit of something totallydifferent.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
And you were so brilliant in forcing a pause,
and what that pause did for mewas it made me reflect so I
recognized that jen was on a bitof a and I won't say
destructive, it was more of acounterintuitive uh direction,
it's a better word and but butand it's key to know this
(30:21):
because if you see someone goingin a direction and their actual
direction is leading themsomewhere, that's a whole nother
ball of wax.
But I noticed Jim was on atreadmill so I knew it wasn't
going too much further.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Y'all get off this hamster wheel.
What are you doing?
Let's go.
We got stuff to do, man.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
We got books to write and people to talk to.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I'm like no, chase me more, Chase me more.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
So after she got off the treadmill I realized okay,
it's time.
And I, strategically as shesaid figured out by calling and
seeing where are you at, whatare you doing, what's going on
in your life.
And as she began to unfoldthose details, I said okay, I
(31:07):
can, it's time I can go back tothe chase yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
So I love this because we started off with
pursuit and what it, what itmeans, right.
And then we talked about themotion and now we're talking
about distractions and detours.
But in that, what you justdescribed, corey, is we all make
decisions.
We all should be making a pivotmoment.
(31:31):
So what you did in flipping thescript was you made a pivot
moment where you had to changehow you were pursuing.
So let's talk about that realquick.
When you had to shift gears.
Right, you're in the pursuit,you're like in full throttle,
(31:52):
fifth gear and now you're havinga downshift.
How hard was that or howfreeing was that to make that
determination to make a pivotmoment?
Speaker 2 (32:03):
It wasn't hard.
I knew in my heart and it'slike this Let me just say
something everyone canunderstand and get If you're
cooking and the dishes arepiling up and you know I got to
wash a few of these dishesbefore I move forward you don't
(32:24):
just stop cooking and let thefood burn.
You continue to cook and wash adish here and there and get the
necessary plates and things outof the way and you go back to
cooking and so that's that'swhat I was doing.
I said, oh, she's not quitethere yet.
There's some other things Ineed to tend to.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
I'll be back Love that, because then that leads
into this space and I want toknow what you think is a main
talking point in the as we talkabout the pursuit of.
The thing is, I want to say weshould encourage curiosity over
certainty when we're in thepursuit.
(33:09):
And what I mean by that is youwould think that in the pursuit
you have a plan, but like youdid, but you had a pivot and I'm
thinking maybe we should bemore, less about the certainty
of the plan and more curious,like asking the better questions
or finding more things out aswe're in the pursuit.
(33:31):
How does that land with you?
Speaker 2 (33:33):
I'll say this to that how many times have we started
a job and we knew on day onethis is not going to be a good
situation?
Started a job and we knew onday one this is not going to be
a good situation?
How many times have we uh, wenton a date and the person showed
all the red flags in 30 minutes, but you stayed?
on, we still pursued it, yeah westill went on that, so there's
(33:55):
no need to be curious on that.
It's certain that it's notgoing to work, or it's certain?
That it's something bad isgonna happen.
Okay, why wait around for it tohappen?
Okay, let's just get moving andget out of there, because
there's other things we could bedoing or probably should be
doing I see your point.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
So the certainties in the beginning, like paying
attention to those things andnot pushing, and I love that.
Now, what I say as a coach isonce you determine what your
values are, what you're inpursuit of, and you have some
kind of a pathway Remember wetalked about pathways before on
an earlier episode.
I think for me then is when Ilike to go more into the curious
(34:40):
spaces than certainty, becausethere's so many different things
that come our way while we'rein pursuit.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Yeah, I maintain that vibe, though, jen, I believe
wholeheartedly you should alwaysbe curious.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Always be on the look for something different,
something new or what'sdifferent about this scenery,
that scenery that I didn't catchthe last time.
I think that's what helps me inmy writing, because I'm just
always looking for a nuance inthe story that you know I hadn't
discovered and how I can tweakit and change it.
(35:20):
So it keeps me curious, yeah,yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah.
So some of the questions that Iwould ask someone, just some
powerful questions to ask alongthe way of the pursuit, is what
matters to me now Because againthere's the idea of seasonal
pursuit too right For thismoment.
This is what I'm pursuing andwe know that purpose, passions,
(35:42):
evolve in your life.
So what matters to me now?
What am I willing to let go ofto pursue it?
That was a huge one for meduring this time in my life.
That's the loss, that feelingof loss and grief because you're
letting go of some things topursue something Quick ask of
all the people listening.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
I would like for you to verbalize, or mentally
verbalize, or journal or journal, what you're in pursuit of.
Are you using all the curiositythat you can while you're
pursuing it, and are you makingit a point to see if it's, uh, a
secured pursuit?
Speaker 1 (36:30):
yeah, a certain one isn't that funny how we're
bringing up both things.
We're not saying no, no, it'salways curiosity, no, you've got
to make space for certainty aswell.
Yeah, and then I love thisquestion is who do I want to
become in this process of thepursuit?
Because once you determine yourpath and you're certain of that
(36:53):
, while being very open andcurious, it's also understanding
that man, there's some changes.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
I got to make right awareness going into behavior
changes wow, that that onereally rocks my world, jen, and
I'm gonna tell you why reallyquick.
I remember being in pursuit ofsome things that changed me for
the worst and I did not like whoI was becoming at the the tail
end of that and realized almosttoo late, like I got to change
(37:23):
course real quick before Ibecome something that I can't
recognize anymore.
So, yeah, that's real key, yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
So, corey, I love that you've already called us to
action and the challenge andwriting that down, so I'm just
going to kind of put thistogether, wrap it up with a nice
bow.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
I like bows.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
So it's what are you really in pursuit of, or what
are you in pursuit of right now?
Is it giving you life, is itsustaining you or is it draining
you?
Is it plaguing you?
And then, as you figure outawareness of you and managing
yourself, then asking yourselfam I giving life to those around
(38:06):
me or am I draining them?
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Or tormenting, which is an incredible word.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
And then, as you think of your pursuit, the last
question is is it yours or is itsomeone else's pursuit Right,
or is it because someone else'spursuit Right, or is it because?
Other people said so.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Really good things to think about this week, so we
invite you to at least pick onething this week to pursue with
intention, no matter how small.
That's how we get to exerciseour control, and that helps with
burnout is focus on what youcan control, corey, before we
end this wonderful episode.
First, I want to thank you forgiving us this space and
(38:50):
responding the way you did.
It just brought so much moreelevation to the way I think
about pursuit.
Is there anything you want tosay?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah, this conversation felt very good,
authentic and like a verbalworkout.
I really enjoyed how we pursuethis conversation.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
I did too.
Well, I'm going to end withelevate your pursuit and you
know, as it take the elevator,we say look up and let's elevate
every day, elevate, every day,elevate, every day elevate.
hey, it's jen the builder and cory and I obviously
felt like I needed to come inon the music still on full blast
.
It's all good sometimes.
It be that way.
If I had a choice, I thinktoday I'd probably keep the
music playing the whole time.
It's that kind of energy for meyeah, jen, you know what?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
let's just start this thing off with a bang.
So, bang, bang.
We had a very active weekend.
We did some, uh, differentthings this weekend that that we
hadn't done in a long time.
Would you like to throw a fewthings out there?
Would you like for me to justramble it off?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
well, you can ramble off, but first I want to say
that there was a stretch for me,because I don't know if
anyone's ever experienced this,but my emotions this week were
just all over the place, likejust all the feelings and ups
and downs, and I carried it inmy face.
(01:13):
So I'll explain that later.
But it felt like a combinationof congestion in my sinus, a
toothache lockjaw although I'venever had that and just a
headache in my temple and thenstress in the back of my neck.
So the weekend I experiencedmajor remnants of that.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
So while we were doing things that we haven't
done in a long time, um, I hadto carry all this stuff going on
in my face right now yeah, so,um, not to minimize that at all,
but I just wanted to highlightsomething that we did and we've
been redecorating our backyardand I know that brings joy to
(02:00):
jen.
So that's what I was trying toget our mind off of some of the
sad things that we wereexperiencing and they're not sad
in a way like we're we're inloss, but, um, jen is moving to
a different team and she's goingto miss her old team, and so
just wanted to experience somereally nice things in this
(02:21):
transition and it did do that.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Um, I felt it's funny because it ties very well into
our topic for today.
It does so, um, I'm just goingto go ahead and put what today's
about, um, sometimes ourdistractions or we create
distractions in our pursuit ofsomething bigger right To kind
(02:47):
of not feel the impact as much.
But today we're going to talkabout pursuit and what we're
really chasing in this life, andis it leading us towards
something meaningful or is itjust keeping us busy?
So stay tuned, because beforewe do that I know, corey, you've
got some announcements you wantto share with our friends.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, I just wanted to put out there.
You know we're doing some bigthings, guys, and we're going to
be showing up in some unusualplaces because we have a little
bit longer reach now that we'vegot book number four out.
So just be on the lookout forthe things, the exciting news
that we're going to beannouncing, not to mention on
(03:28):
Amazon.
All four books are availableand they're all categorized the
right way, and we're just reallyexcited about this.
Big things are happening for usand we thank everyone for being
a part of that journey yeah, solet's talk about the categories
real quick.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Kelly kanga, our recent book, the fourth one was
categorized as a cookbook, and Iguess it would be kind of cute
if it was.
Kelly kanga cooks right, butthat's not what it was.
So I definitely want to give ashout out to petra, who has
partnered with us in aligningand cleaning up our stuff on
(04:11):
Amazon.
It's a lot of work, a lot oftedious work.
So, corey, you and Petra havejust done an amazing job working
together.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yeah, just banging it out.
And there's another person inthe background, but I'm not sure
if I'm at liberty to disclosethat just yet.
But yeah, petra man, what atrooper yeah, so gory let's.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Let's go ahead and start this.
You mentioned the weekend, sure.
With all of that, what's onething that you woke up wanting
today or over the weekend?
Was it peace, purpose progressor just to make it through?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
oh, jen, that that's tough, you know, for me.
I'm always pushing for progress, I'm always pushing for purpose
.
I'm pushing for purpose in myprogress and progress in my
purpose.
I'm very driven with what Ineed to get done, because we're
(05:10):
always talking about time andI'm sure that's going to play a
part in this conversation aswell.
So, yeah, I'm just reallypushing for and, guys, I'm not
overly serious, I play, I goofoff, I have a good time, but
even in that, there's still apurpose and a process that we
need to follow.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I really love how you just did that.
I gave you a choice of threeand you went with all of the
above, and that makes sense isto have progress in the purpose,
purpose in your progress and Ithink underlying in all of that
is to have peace through it all.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Look at you.
Wow, this is going to be good.
So let's talk about real quickwhat we mean by pursuit, right?
I don't think that's a verycommon word we use nowadays.
I mean, we talk about what areyou chasing?
What do you want?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Well, I love that word pursuit though.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah, let's talk about that.
What do you love about it?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
I love that.
It describes me to a T Likewhen I think about how I got you
.
I was in pursuit.
I was in hot pursuit to get Jen, you know, to make sure that
she was going to be my wife.
And I made it clear on day onethat you know I'm not out here
dating to date people and get toknow people, I'm dating to get
(06:34):
married.
So that made the pursuitserious and so she had an option
at that point, like do Icontinue with this guy that's
really serious from jump, or doI just deter him and tell him oh
no, I'm not trying to do allthat, but I mean we were both in
our 30s so I thought it was agood way to do that.
(06:55):
But yeah, I love the wordpursuit because it just it shows
so much meaning and intentionmuch meaning and intention.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yeah, and I love that you brought up the story of
your pursuit of me, because Ithink we're gonna weave that in
to different parts of today'sepisode.
So what I'm hearing you sayingis it's more than just the goal
or the dream, right?
So the goal was to get married?
Yeah, maybe the dream was maryjen.
Yeah, right, but the pursuit isthen the active energy that we
(07:26):
pour into something.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, it's all the energy.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
It's like you fill the tank up with that particular
energy so that you don't, youknow, run out of steam.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, so what are some common pursuits that we see
in our, our world, people thatwe know?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
The typical pursuit is career, then there's
relationship.
You have a pursuit to achieve acertain amount of money.
Some people are in pursuit ofhappiness.
Um, I don't know if happinessis obtainable, though, and
that's just my perspective.
(08:10):
I'm not saying that's true foranybody else.
That's just what I think.
So I don't pursue happiness, Ipursue my purpose, and my
purpose brings me joy.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
There's a lot to unpack there.
So you mentioned career andrelationship.
To me, that speaks to the goalor the dream, right?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
But when I think of the pursuit so, for example,
when I think of man, what is itthat I'm pursuing when I decide
to make a career change?
For some people, it might besuccess.
Some people go for titles, soit's about status.
Stability, especially now forpeople, is a big pursuit, or
(08:59):
sustainability?
Yeah, and I want to talk aboutthat answer because, corey, you
are so brilliant.
Let me take a little bit of adetour.
Uh-oh, some of the ways thatCorey and I are so if we had to
talk about our norms.
One of them is when we have anidea for the episode or there's
something on our mind, we textit to each other, even if we're
(09:21):
in the same house.
And we text it to each othereven if we're in the same house.
And the reason why we do thatis because we want to capture
that thought and make sure it'sdocumented somewhere, because we
do that a lot Like what did wetalk about?
We really wanted to bring thatforward in the episode, and then
it gives us time to collaborateor just share our thoughts on
(09:41):
it.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Digest.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, so I had put in a text last week or the week
before.
I said life is not, we're notpromised tomorrow and time is
short.
What are you in pursuit of?
And I really want to talk aboutyour answer in a second, corey,
okay, but you mentionedrelationships, and so if that is
someone's goal, is a healthyrelationship.
(10:11):
I think the pursuit in arelationship is always love, a
sense of belonging, right, um,and I'm just going to say
sometimes it's approval, maybenot in relationships, but the
way we look, the things that wedo pursue, because it's what
society says should be the thing.
(10:32):
In our world, what's theexpectation?
Or, in our culture, what aresome pursuits that are given to
us as the norm, and how might weneed to unlearn those things?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, I like that.
I like that a lot.
It's along the lines that I wasalready thinking, along the
lines that I was alreadythinking.
You know, one of the bigpursuits that were given from
birth is marriage.
Yeah, girls are taught to bemarried and boys are taught to
(11:20):
get jobs and careers, and thatwas a big part of what we were
taught, as you and I and ourgeneration and our cultures.
Let's talk about that marriagething first and foremost,
because if that's somethingyou're truly pursuing, then you
need as much education aboutwhat it takes to maintain, again
, stability, sustainability, amarriage, and so get as much
(11:44):
information as you can.
And then, when you talk about acareer Jen, you know I'm going
to get in trouble on this one,but I got to go there.
Okay, I just got to be really,really honest Most careers are
designed to make someone elserich.
Most careers are designed tomake someone else wealthy, and
(12:05):
some careers bring you goodfeeling based on very temporary
successes, and you don't get tohave those long-term successes
because the door continues torevolve.
Being an educator if you're alifelong educator, yeah, you get
to touch lives, uh, but they'redifferent lives.
(12:28):
You don't get to see thoselives the whole way through.
And so when you become aneducator of life, it all, it
changes the dynamic.
But when you, when you'retalking about careers, um, again
, this is designed to makesomeone else very wealthy and
(12:49):
give you just enough money tomake it I can see what you're
saying and agree to an extent.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
I also think that if your career, so if the pursuit
of your career, is to make money, the reality is you might make
some money, but the reality isyou're making someone else more
money.
That's the formula or thelayout of having a boss.
(13:20):
Now, for me, if your career islined up with a pursuit of your
purpose, then it becomes moreand it becomes intrinsic.
And sometimes people can't seewhat that pursuit is.
So I'm just going to not speakin code and speak for myself.
(13:40):
So in the last decade or so, mypursuit has been in partnering
with people and in the learningenvironment, in the professional
development space and coaching.
Before that it was nursing andmaking sure that people had
(14:02):
access to get the care that theyneeded outside of a hospital,
right, right, so this careerchange continues to align with
that purpose, absolutely.
Except in this career changeI'm leaving the professional
development piece and going moreinto the holistic approach of
supporting people who I get tobecause they're in the workforce
(14:26):
, trying to ensure that peoplein the community are taken care
of.
So when it's big like that, forme the pursuit is no longer
about the career but my purposein life.
You know what I mean, right.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Okay, let me just sprinkle some seasoning on top
of that just to see where itlands.
Okay, if you remove yourselfand your purpose away from an
employer, maintain that purpose.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Yes, that's what purpose is.
It's not just about.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
What happens as soon as you remove yourself away from
the employer, keep the purposeand still have what you're doing
, you become not only the personwith the career, but you also
become the employer, and youalso become the person working
to make yourself more money.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yes, so now you've made it multivalued, absolutely.
Yeah, I hear you, I hear you.
So in just a minute we're goingto talk about the most deep
thing that, corey, you've evershared with me.
And you were just a deepthinker and this one blew my
mind, but I wanted to talk toset the.
(15:50):
The space up is that there's adifference between being in
motion and having directionright, so this links to your,
your pursuit.
Yeah, so I I love this, becausewe don't want to confuse
activity with purpose, like youwere just talking about.
You know things that peoplecould do at work, at activity,
(16:12):
but is it lined up with yourpurpose?
Because even a treadmill givesyou movement, but you never go
anywhere.
True, or a track will give youmovement, but you're seeing the
(16:37):
same thing over and over andover motion, like you're not
getting into, you're not takinga walk or run and landing in
another physical destination,right, right, okay, so go ahead.
Cory, when I sent you that text, what were you thinking?
Because you responded I swearin like 15, 20 seconds.
(17:01):
I was like, how does he comeback with a question where I'm
like, whoa, this is deep, what,what, what a question to think
about.
And you just responded in themanner in which you did.
You want to share what you said?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
sure?
So just to give a quickreminder, jen texted me living
like time is limited, callingwhat are you in pursuit of and
why?
And so I responded time is verylimited.
The pursuit is to createsustainability.
(17:38):
Sustainability equals life.
Life equals opportunity formore of God's work.
God's work equals well done,thy good and faithful servant.
(18:00):
Now, if I can just elaborateshortly on what I was thinking
and how that came about,everything that we're attempting
to do in our pursuit to ourgoals and what we're trying to
build here has to be sustainable, so it has to be something that
can continue on and on, and onand on.
If you don't have that, if youdon't create something that
(18:23):
someone needs forever, then yougot to keep on creating, and the
more you create, the more tiredyou get.
So I'm looking forsustainability.
If you have sustainability,then it adds to your life.
I mean, it takes away the needfor more money, because the
(18:44):
money will become one of thosethings that's continuously
coming in.
Then bills are paid, thenworries are less, stress is less
, and then it creates moreopportunities, more
opportunities to help people,more opportunities to lend to
(19:05):
the and not be the borrower fromeverything that you're doing.
It's important in my beliefsystem to be able to give to
people or lend, if need be, inorder, and instead of always
having to borrow or go to afinancial institution and get
(19:26):
money, and also with my faithand my belief system, I believe
that aligns with biblicalprinciple.
That's just how.
I think it was funny when yousent me that I was already in
that mode, so it was just one ofthose things that rolled off my
the top of my head wow.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
So the timing of it was everything.
So, as Corey was sharing this,I got uber excited because you
had shared with me not just lifehere, but ultimately what it
was about, and I got so excitedthat we had a conversation about
that word sustainability.
And I tend to go black or white, right, like when you're making
(20:12):
a decision.
So, in other words, let me givean example when you're working
with people, you're either doingone of two things you're either
harming or healing.
Right, and so when you thinkabout it that way, my
interaction is either going topromote harm or it's going to
promote a place of healing.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Oh that just landed all kind of warm and fuzzy, wow,
okay yes.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
So for me, like, although we live in a lot of
gray, I try, when it comes topeople, I try not to live in
that gray same thing.
When you said sustainability, Isaid cory, what, what, what's
the opposite of sustainability?
whenever you go into antonyms, Ithink it like adds so much more
impact in the thought.
(20:58):
So the antonym ofsustainability sustainability or
the opposite is to collapseunder, to torment or to plague.
And it just hit me.
What in my life, what actions,what people, what relationships,
(21:18):
what activities, what events,what decisions am I making that
promote sustainability right formy life, so that way we have
time to do the good work andthere's a bigger reward, a
bigger purpose?
So what am I doing to sustain?
(21:39):
Or are there things that arehappening that are plaguing me,
tormenting me or making me feellike I'm collapsing under all
this weight?
Speaker 2 (21:49):
How we and Jen, if you just slightly tweak that you
could be plaguing someone.
Yes or collapsing on someone.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
That's real talk, or?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
tormenting someone.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Real talk.
Yeah, man on someone.
that's real tormenting someonereal talk, yeah, man and when
you're conscious of that andwhen you're intentional, and
that is like what you'rethinking, like right now, I'm
with this person.
Am I sustaining them or am Iplaguing them, tormenting them?
(22:21):
Those are deep words, deepwords.
So for me, it's what gives yourpursuit meaning.
Your answer gave my pursuitmeaning, nice, and it just
reminded me of how important itis, speaking of sustaining, that
(22:42):
we talk to one another or weconnect with people, because
there within lies the gift thatyou didn't realize that you
needed, right.
My question was coming more froma sense of oh my goodness,
time's passing us by.
You know time to check in,corey.
(23:02):
What are we pursuing here?
And then I was more into thewhat and the tasks and things
like that.
I mean, I knew it was a deepquestion, but for you to share
what you thought, it just putthings into perspective, it
aligned.
I immediately thought of values.
When you were talking earlierabout why you said
sustainability, one could tellCorey that one of your values is
(23:27):
taking care of people, and totake care of people it's
important that we have thefinances to do that.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Absolutely yeah, yeah .
Speaker 1 (23:36):
That's how it's always been for us and so that
is a value of yours.
So whenever we're doingsomething, the pursuit is okay.
How does this help in helpingand I love to help people that
way too, and I'm thinking onspiritually, emotionally,
mentally how is this helpingpeople?
(23:58):
And that is my pursuit, and Ithink the beauty of genco is
that we both have the samepursuit, but it supports and
it's aligned with our gifts andtalents right you know that
we've been given.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Yeah can I, can I jump in there real?
Please do so.
Um, let me just say it likethis people aren't good at
multiple things.
Typically, you have youranomalies that come along, like
Prince, who can play everyinstrument, or Bo Jackson, which
, if you're as old as I am, youremember.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Bo.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Jackson, who played baseball football, and you know
just a name I haven't heard inso long.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
He was just phenomenal, or even some others.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
We can go on all day with a few people that have
these multiple gifts, buttypically people have one thing
that they're good at, and ifyou're good at something, it's
cool, but if you can elevategood to great, now you're
talking about something you cansustain yeah, and that's
important.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I love what you said because it's our strengths.
And when people talk about youknow, oh, this is my goal as a
coach.
I think it's awesome to havegoals, but I think we can get
inundated with them.
Yeah, right, right.
And we've got to go back towhat this is about.
Who are you, what are yourstrengths and how are they
(25:27):
bringing meaning andcontribution into your life?
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Like let's talk about those things.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yeah, you just hit them.
That's exactly where I wasgoing, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah, so where I'm going.
I've had to talk this out and Ifinally come to this.
The reason why I make I've justmade this career move is that
pursuit that may be invisible tosome and that's healing right.
It's spiritual growth, not justfor people I get to work with
(26:00):
and touch, but for myself, likethat's so needed right now.
I feel like that's where I needto be, yeah, and and I love
that.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
And then I say love because what I know that other
people don't know is that thismove is not just growing you
internally, it's growing growingyou externally as well, and so
it's not only pushing theboundaries within the career
that you're in, but it's pullingyou outside of that career.
(26:31):
To change it to something morethan just how do I say that word
?
What am I looking for?
It automatically becomessustainable because it's not
just for you not you the person,jen but for the people that
you're serving.
(26:51):
It becomes accessible andavailable for everyone.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
And I think why it really speaks right now is
because of the state of theworld that we're in.
Like it's just been heavy on me.
You know there we go Under thepressure of, or, you know,
tormenting me.
Yeah, by not making thisdecision, it would have
continued to torment me, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And so I mean I guess we have to come clean about
what's really happening.
You know, we have thesepolitical issues jumping off all
around us, we have floods andfires and all these things, and
we kind of see the systemtipping their hand and showing
us that some torment and tortureis coming.
(27:37):
And so, in order for us to havesustainability, we got to keep
up, we got to be running at apace that's much faster than
what the system is preparing usfor.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Oh, I love how you're linking that to the word
pursuit.
Yeah, yeah, it's that chase,the running, the going after,
right?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
So the things that you've mentioned the way I would
define those is distractingdetours and then you have divine
detours, the detours that aremeant to pause you so you can
reflect, say, hey, I'm off trackoh, we just had one of those,
an amazing detour, and that waspurposeful in the scheme of
(28:25):
things, because we needed tomeet Petra, we needed to have
our paths crossed so that we canget back on track, because we
were detoured with some finetuning in the elements of the
books, and so that helped us ina way that we can.
It's priceless.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
So you mentioned some detours that pull people off
course, like the news, socialmedia comparisons.
Perfectionism is something thatpeople are in pursuit of, that
we all know you'll never getthere.
So then you experience burnoutor the fear of disappointing
others.
Right, I want to go back andlighten it up a little bit to
(29:06):
when you were pursuing me,because you had the goal of um
we always go back to gin let.
Uh, that's very narcissistic,isn't it?
no, I'm just uh I was like,should we change the topic?
I, because I had said I'd liketo go back to that when let's
talk about some detours even inthat, just even in our
(29:28):
relationship.
Um, in the beginning,distracting detours for me.
Well, first of all, I wasn'tready for what you were bringing
to the table.
um, I was at a point in my lifewhere I was like what I'm not in
pursuit, what I was in pursuitof, the detour there was, quite
honestly, it was veryself-destructive.
(29:48):
And so to be ready toexperience that kind of love and
that kind of commitment justwasn't happening because we were
in pursuit of something totallydifferent.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
And you were so brilliant in forcing a pause,
and what that pause did for mewas it made me reflect so I
recognized that jen was on a bitof a and I won't say
destructive, it was more of acounterintuitive uh direction,
it's a better word and but butand it's key to know this
(30:21):
because if you see someone goingin a direction and their actual
direction is leading themsomewhere, that's a whole nother
ball of wax.
But I noticed Jim was on atreadmill so I knew it wasn't
going too much further.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Y'all get off this hamster wheel.
What are you doing?
Let's go.
We got stuff to do, man.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
We got books to write and people to talk to.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I'm like no, chase me more, Chase me more.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
So after she got off the treadmill I realized okay,
it's time.
And I, strategically as shesaid figured out by calling and
seeing where are you at, whatare you doing, what's going on
in your life.
And as she began to unfoldthose details, I said okay, I
(31:07):
can, it's time I can go back tothe chase yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
So I love this because we started off with
pursuit and what it, what itmeans, right.
And then we talked about themotion and now we're talking
about distractions and detours.
But in that, what you justdescribed, corey, is we all make
decisions.
We all should be making a pivotmoment.
(31:31):
So what you did in flipping thescript was you made a pivot
moment where you had to changehow you were pursuing.
So let's talk about that realquick.
When you had to shift gears.
Right, you're in the pursuit,you're like in full throttle,
(31:52):
fifth gear and now you're havinga downshift.
How hard was that or howfreeing was that to make that
determination to make a pivotmoment?
Speaker 2 (32:03):
It wasn't hard.
I knew in my heart and it'slike this Let me just say
something everyone canunderstand and get If you're
cooking and the dishes arepiling up and you know I got to
wash a few of these dishesbefore I move forward you don't
(32:24):
just stop cooking and let thefood burn.
You continue to cook and wash adish here and there and get the
necessary plates and things outof the way and you go back to
cooking and so that's that'swhat I was doing.
I said, oh, she's not quitethere yet.
There's some other things Ineed to tend to.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
I'll be back Love that, because then that leads
into this space and I want toknow what you think is a main
talking point in the as we talkabout the pursuit of.
The thing is, I want to say weshould encourage curiosity over
certainty when we're in thepursuit.
(33:09):
And what I mean by that is youwould think that in the pursuit
you have a plan, but like youdid, but you had a pivot and I'm
thinking maybe we should bemore, less about the certainty
of the plan and more curious,like asking the better questions
or finding more things out aswe're in the pursuit.
(33:31):
How does that land with you?
Speaker 2 (33:33):
I'll say this to that how many times have we started
a job and we knew on day onethis is not going to be a good
situation?
Started a job and we knew onday one this is not going to be
a good situation?
How many times have we uh, wenton a date and the person showed
all the red flags in 30 minutes, but you stayed?
on, we still pursued it, yeah westill went on that, so there's
(33:55):
no need to be curious on that.
It's certain that it's notgoing to work, or it's certain?
That it's something bad isgonna happen.
Okay, why wait around for it tohappen?
Okay, let's just get moving andget out of there, because
there's other things we could bedoing or probably should be
doing I see your point.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
So the certainties in the beginning, like paying
attention to those things andnot pushing, and I love that.
Now, what I say as a coach isonce you determine what your
values are, what you're inpursuit of, and you have some
kind of a pathway Remember wetalked about pathways before on
an earlier episode.
I think for me then is when Ilike to go more into the curious
(34:40):
spaces than certainty, becausethere's so many different things
that come our way while we'rein pursuit.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Yeah, I maintain that vibe, though, jen, I believe
wholeheartedly you should alwaysbe curious.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Always be on the look for something different,
something new or what'sdifferent about this scenery,
that scenery that I didn't catchthe last time.
I think that's what helps me inmy writing, because I'm just
always looking for a nuance inthe story that you know I hadn't
discovered and how I can tweakit and change it.
(35:20):
So it keeps me curious, yeah,yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah.
So some of the questions that Iwould ask someone, just some
powerful questions to ask alongthe way of the pursuit, is what
matters to me now Because againthere's the idea of seasonal
pursuit too right For thismoment.
This is what I'm pursuing andwe know that purpose, passions,
(35:42):
evolve in your life.
So what matters to me now?
What am I willing to let go ofto pursue it?
That was a huge one for meduring this time in my life.
That's the loss, that feelingof loss and grief because you're
letting go of some things topursue something Quick ask of
all the people listening.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
I would like for you to verbalize, or mentally
verbalize, or journal or journal, what you're in pursuit of.
Are you using all the curiositythat you can while you're
pursuing it, and are you makingit a point to see if it's, uh, a
secured pursuit?
Speaker 1 (36:30):
yeah, a certain one isn't that funny how we're
bringing up both things.
We're not saying no, no, it'salways curiosity, no, you've got
to make space for certainty aswell.
Yeah, and then I love thisquestion is who do I want to
become in this process of thepursuit?
Because once you determine yourpath and you're certain of that
(36:53):
, while being very open andcurious, it's also understanding
that man, there's some changes.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
I got to make right awareness going into behavior
changes wow, that that onereally rocks my world, jen, and
I'm gonna tell you why reallyquick.
I remember being in pursuit ofsome things that changed me for
the worst and I did not like whoI was becoming at the the tail
end of that and realized almosttoo late, like I got to change
(37:23):
course real quick before Ibecome something that I can't
recognize anymore.
So, yeah, that's real key, yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
So, corey, I love that you've already called us to
action and the challenge andwriting that down, so I'm just
going to kind of put thistogether, wrap it up with a nice
bow.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
I like bows.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
So it's what are you really in pursuit of, or what
are you in pursuit of right now?
Is it giving you life, is itsustaining you or is it draining
you?
Is it plaguing you?
And then, as you figure outawareness of you and managing
yourself, then asking yourselfam I giving life to those around
(38:06):
me or am I draining them?
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Or tormenting, which is an incredible word.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
And then, as you think of your pursuit, the last
question is is it yours or is itsomeone else's pursuit Right,
or is it because someone else'spursuit Right, or is it because?
Other people said so.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Really good things to think about this week, so we
invite you to at least pick onething this week to pursue with
intention, no matter how small.
That's how we get to exerciseour control, and that helps with
burnout is focus on what youcan control, corey, before we
end this wonderful episode.
First, I want to thank you forgiving us this space and
(38:50):
responding the way you did.
It just brought so much moreelevation to the way I think
about pursuit.
Is there anything you want tosay?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah, this conversation felt very good,
authentic and like a verbalworkout.
I really enjoyed how we pursuethis conversation.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
I did too.
Well, I'm going to end withelevate your pursuit and you
know, as it take the elevator,we say look up and let's elevate
every day, elevate, every day,elevate, every day elevate.
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