July 21, 2025 • 33 mins
What if we spent as much time celebrating life as we do trying to fix it? In this refreshing conversation, GentheBuilder and Kory explore the delicate balance between problem-solving and appreciation for what already exists.
Drawing from their recent experience creating a backyard sanctuary after years without one, they share how this ordinary accomplishment became extraordinary simply through a shift in perspective. Rather than focusing on the imperfections, they chose to celebrate having outdoor space to enjoy together after more than a decade.
Perhaps most powerful is the discussion around "celebrating the ordinary"—recognizing that what seems commonplace to us might be extraordinary to someone else.
Join us for this meaningful exploration of how celebrating the ordinary can transform our everyday experiences. Subscribe to Take the Elevator for more conversations that elevate your perspective on life's journey.
Look up, and let's elevate!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
hey, it's jen the builder and cory, and welcome
everyone to take the elevator.
It's so good to have you hereso good to be here man, it has
been a rough week.
I went to the dentist, corey, asyou know, and I just feel like
being in the dentist and havingmy mouth open to all the germs
(00:36):
maybe flying around.
I just caught something andthankfully it's starting to go
away, but I apologize beforehandeverybody if I get into some
coughing bouts or sneezes.
I'm getting over it, though,and thankfully this is not
contagious because I'm here athome and you're not here with me
(00:57):
.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
How about that?
I'm here, though.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And you've been doing really well with not getting
sick.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah, so we've got quite the episode today.
But before we go on to there,corey, what's new?
Well?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
if you ask, I must tell you.
So we had a tough weekend withyou as far as you know what was
going on.
But we, we added to ourbackyard and that was very fun
because, uh, I really enjoyedthe backyard this weekend with
the, the additives that we, weput in there, and I'm just going
(01:33):
to share a few things.
Uh, we put a, a bench and atable and a fire pit that I
really got a chance to enjoy.
So it's one of those weekendsthat made me feel very good and
I felt comfortable, relaxing athome most definitely.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Let's well, let's go into detail a little bit about
the backyard furniture.
So okay or the backyard periodor backyards backyards yeah okay
, uh, I'll speak to what I know.
Um, when we moved in here inoctober, we were really excited
(02:13):
because we haven't enjoyed abackyard in about 11 years,
because we lived on the golfcourse right off hole one, and
so it was literally danger zonein our backyard and so we have
totally enjoyed having backyard.
Last weekend we're like, oh,let's buy some furniture.
(02:33):
One of our favorite stores washaving a major sale yeah and I
think it was like 50 off.
So imagine 50 off outdoorfurniture that we really wanted
and on top of, if you appliedfor a credit card, whether you
got approved or not, it wasanother 30% off the entire
purchase.
So, friends, we walked out ofthere 80% off.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yeah.
So we weren't out there justspending frivolously.
We were actually doing somegood uh bargain shopping and
that felt good.
That always feels good whenyou're saving some money,
especially in tough times.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
You know, yeah, well, we were driving fervorously
because we went to one store andit had some of the stuff, but
true to the body name, we werepiecing everything and we were
being particular.
So then one store had it and wewent to that store.
But then it was like, oh, butthen we want this and that store
(03:34):
didn't have it, but one did.
So we, we traveled betweenthree stores on that day and we
loaded up our passport.
Boy, we just she earned hername she earned her name for
sure.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
But, and I have to say this, jen uh, a lot two of
those trips were my fault,because you told me what I
should have done and I probablyshould have left you home and
just went and did the first, uhthe second trip by myself.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
So yes, it was your fault yes, it was definitely my
fault, but I see and it's sofunny that you brought that up,
because this has to do with someof what we're going to talk
about today and we didn't planthis.
That's what's so funny is thatI could have been like dang,
dang it, like I said I shouldn'thave come, but then I was like
(04:28):
I get to go to Barnes and Noble.
I get to sit down and know whatwas it.
40, 45 minutes.
Yeah, it was about 40, 45minutes and I and I there was
fun in the middle of somethingthat probably felt like I I
shouldn't have come here, Ishould have stayed, but I was so
grateful that I went so let megive them a 15 second update on
(04:51):
what what actually happened.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
There wasn't enough room in the car to bring all the
stuff home, so I had to leavejen at the store and trek back
home and then go back and pickher up.
So, um yeah, great weekend,great furniture, great time
outside.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Love to be outside enjoying the outdoors I just
love the detail we give people.
They're probably like who cares, but it was a big deal.
So, cory, yes, we enjoyed thebackyard, even though I've been
sick, and you didn't mention myfavorite part and that on
purpose oh, because you'rewaiting.
(05:27):
You want you were giving me thepleasure of doing it absolutely
oh, that's so sweet.
So we had an above we have nothad have an above ground pool,
and I had to tell the storybecause when we realized, okay,
we're doing it, we going to dothe backyard, because things
were coming together.
(05:47):
So I went on Amazon and all Ihad focused on Corey was because
you did the measurements andyou said, jen, 15 round is going
to be too big, go for somethingsmaller, like a 12 or 13.
So that's what I had in my mind, like, oh, I have to do this
and I gotta get it right because15 is too big.
(06:10):
Well, I just focused on thatnumber and I ended up getting a
13 foot by 30 inches, whichwould literally come up to our
knees yes, two.
Well, your knees right so twoand a half feet, cory.
(06:30):
You looked at me.
You're like are we just likegonna wade in the water?
No, we were gonna just sit inthe water yeah, so thankfully
you caught it and we were ableto go ahead and get the right
inches, and so what we got was48 yeah um and but what's crazy
is that the next size up was 54inches and you can't even get
(06:54):
that on amazon.
You have to go to like a legitpool store, and how much was it?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
well, you could get it, but it was literally uh it
was on amazon, yeah, it was like500 to 700 dollars more, and
that's that's insane, becauseyou go from this I mean, we were
six more inches yeah, weweren't cheap about it, but I
mean we weren't gonna spendthousands yeah no way no, not
(07:23):
even a thousand, right right noteven five that's right.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, so we got in there today and, by the way, we
were recording on a sunday.
We got in there today and itwas so.
It was so fun because I waslike cory we have not been in a
pool together in over 12 yearsyeah and and we were always in a
pool and when we go to hotels,cory's not keen on getting to
(07:52):
the pool with me and otherpeople.
I think it's the other peopleyeah, it's like hundreds of
people in one pool and when yousee kids, you kind of know what
they're doing in the water andI'm looking to see, like you,
parents are gonna ask them ifthey need to go to the bathroom.
I'm just saying, and I was justlike, please let these
(08:13):
chemicals be working, becauseI'm in here with you all I know
there's someone listening rightnow and they are feeling my pain
with that whole situation.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
So if you understand where I'm coming from, I I just
can't.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Oh, let's move on yes , like we're almost spending 10
minutes on the draft thing, butclearly you can see how excited
we are about our backyard in thefire pit.
So, yes, so let's move on, cory.
What are we talking about today?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
so we are going to move on.
But, chan Chan, I got to throwjust a couple of questions out
your way and I'm not expectingfull, whole answers.
Just give me, you know, verysurface level.
Like there's a lot of weirdthings happening in the world
right now and so I just wantedto ask you what are you thinking
(09:01):
about?
Like the Epstein thing?
Isn't that really strange?
Like it just keeps coming upand and and, turning over, and
and.
When I say turning over, likeyou would think it would either
get solved or figure it out orgo away, but it's just keep on
finding it it's way back yeah,so you got that.
(09:22):
And then there's all these crazysituations with the weather
right now, with the flooding and, uh, we dealt with fires, and
then there's some other.
It's like a really strange timeand I was just curious, you
know did you have any thoughtson any of that stuff?
I mean, I know I'm the news guyso, uh, I try to listen and
(09:43):
stay up on that stuff.
Any, any?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
my thoughts aren't deep at all, cory, I think.
Where it goes is like is thisfor real?
Then the next question for meis how can it be for real?
Right it just seems so strangeand odd and, um, I want to say
it feels made up Like how doesone part of our country flood
(10:10):
the way it does and then it goeson to somewhere else and then
things are burning down.
It's just incredible.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, absolutely.
So I just wanted to throw thatout and see what you had.
You don't have too much and I'mokay with that.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I've been yeah, there's not a lot going on right
now as I'm recovering frombeing sick, but if you'd like to
share what you're thinking,Well, I'd love to go into detail
about it, but I was looking forsomeone else's take on it on it
(10:47):
.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
If you're listening and you have a take on it, man,
I am so open to whatever anyonehas to throw back at me and give
me their insider input.
This is one of those areas thatI don't have a lot of
information on, but I have a lotof opinions on Jen.
Shall we move into the topic?
Yes, let's do that.
So you know, in life peoplespend time doing one of two
(11:09):
things Either they're trying tofix a problem, or they're
celebrating their problem, orthey're solving of a problem.
And so my question today is howdo you fix something or just
celebrate?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Okay, well, I think that the majority of us are
always trying to fix something.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I think what I've seen is that people celebrate
accomplishments or achievementsor special days, but as far as
the ordinary life, I don't evenwant to call it a small win.
Maybe it's not even a win.
Are we celebrating that?
Are we so busy trying to fixthings?
(11:58):
You know what I mean.
So if I'm going to be real, themajority of my life has been to
try to fix things, and maybenot even just things.
It's fixing me, fixing otherpeople, fixing situations,
(12:19):
trying to solve things.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
So let me ask you a question what's the last thing
you tried to fix?
Whether it got solved or notdoesn't matter, just the last
thing that you were reallyworking hard on to try to fix
usually that's a difficult, adifficult question for me to
(12:44):
answer, specifically becauseit's going to come out very
generalized.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Usually people come to me with issues at work
usually relationship issues,Right and so I'm partnering with
them to help them try to fix asituation or maybe fix how
they're seeing things.
Right.
There's always fix yourperspective, fix your story,
(13:10):
edit your story right.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yeah, that would be probably the last fixing I've
done.
What about you?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Oh man.
So I'm always trying to fixsomething and I'm guilty as
charged because I'm trying tofix my book, I'm trying to fix
the music, and then I'm a'mguilty as charged because I'm
trying to fix my book, I'mtrying to fix the music, I'm
trying, and then I'm a sound manas well.
So I'm trying, I'm tweaking oursound in the band, I'm trying
to get the recordings right andsomething's always going wrong.
(13:40):
And what people don't know isif you're in the recording world
and you're working withequipment, equipment has a mind
of its own.
If it's hot, it runs one way.
If it's cold, it runs anotherway.
If the room is full, it soundsa different way.
If it's empty, you have toadjust for that.
So it's a continuous fixing ofthings and people and
(14:04):
positioning them, and so yeah,that's, and we had a show this
friday.
So you know, I went through allthat new place, new setting,
new stage.
Sound was way different.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
So yeah, we just were always fixing and do you think
you missed anything by alwaysfocusing on fixing?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
that's the thing, jen .
If I'm being honest which I,which I really am right now you
always miss something.
It it really sucks, because youknow, oh my god, I spent way
too much time working on thesound.
So I'll tell you exactly what Imissed.
I didn't tune properly beforethe show, so in the middle of
(14:49):
the first song I'm tuning aswe're playing, and that used to
be very difficult.
But if you do it, enough, whichis not a brag but if you find
yourself in that situation, youcan figure out based on your uh
guitarist, which, danny, isalways in perfect pitch because
(15:11):
he's a obsessive tuner well forme over the weekend and we
didn't know we're gonna do thisepisode, which is what is just
striking me as pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
We were sitting outside at night, bonfire and
everything, and I just I'd justbeen chilled over the weekend,
obviously trying to recover andfeel better, but I just I told
you, I said this weekend wasexactly what I needed it to be,
and it was just so relaxed, notstressed out, and if something
(15:54):
didn't work, it was like it'sgoing to be okay, like I'm
celebrating right now that we'resitting in the backyard and
it's been over 10 years thatwe've been able to do this.
Let me just celebrate that,instead of getting caught up on,
oh, the right side of the poolis an inch lower because our
(16:18):
backyard's not flat, or evenright, or, oh, that lantern's
not in the right place, let mejust enjoy that it's solar and
it's lit, I see what you didright there that that was pretty
darn amazing.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
If you're listening and you heard what jen just did,
what she was able to do was shewent out of fix it mode into
celebrate mode to get thenegative aspect out of the room,
and I watched it walk out asyou begin to celebrate and I'm
using a hypothetical, not aphysical.
(16:58):
I didn't see anything walk outthe room, so don't think I'm
seeing things here.
But yeah, I agree with you, Iknew I needed that too.
I needed to be away fromeverything.
I didn't need to be in themindset of anything business and
I didn't even want to mentionit.
(17:20):
And you notice, we didn't talkabout work.
We didn't talk about books,writing music.
I don't even think we had musicplaying.
We were just sitting out thereenjoying the fire.
As a matter of fact, you werecold, which is very strange.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Jen never gets cold, she's always hot and I was very
comfortable in the way I was uh,you know feeling with the
weather in the in the fire well,you know what, now that you say
that my body is so reactive toalways thinking or stressing or
(18:01):
trying to figure things out, Ithink it makes me run hotter
than typical.
So when you think about me overthe weekend and I'm having like
, oh it's cold, I wasn't workedup in any kind of way this is
true isn't that a trip like I?
and it just dawned on me whenyou said that, and then it just
(18:23):
made me think we go through lifeso much trying to fix all the
problems that hopefully thelines don't blur and we see life
as a problem because, truly,life is a gift and it's
something to be celebrated.
And so today I was able to justbe in my kitchen, cook, had my
(18:45):
own little cooking show bymyself, took reels, got on cap
cut if you follow me oninstagram, okay, it's so over
the top.
My first fun video that Icreated, instead of just being a
regular reel, yes, was on food,because that's how I needed to
play.
And true story, when we play,we play typically in front of
(19:10):
the world, right like on thisepisode on our um social media,
or in a in a workshop or at aconference let me pause you
right there just for a secondwhat happened?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
well, because you said you like to play in front
of, but jen will play by herself.
She's in the kitchen having herown cooking show but I'm not
talking out loud not the wholetime, no, but there are moments
when you're you are talkingyourself through something, yes,
and I'll have like the counterset up all like in a certain way
(19:44):
on my like a cooking show.
Yes, it's much more engagingand so I'll walk in and see all
the things laid out and I'm like, okay, she's having a good time
, isn't it?
yeah, it really was yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
so I think that's just important for us to share,
that it's so good to not be infixer mode all the time and it's
not to say, hey, get out of theresponsibility of fixing things
.
We understand that things getbroken.
You've got to fix it.
There's problems that come up.
You got to critically think,make decisions.
(20:22):
Yes, yes, yes and yes.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
But gosh, I hope that's not our forever way of
being you did something elsethis weekend that I was kind of
um taking them back to.
Uh, we were, well, I was in thein the mode of putting things
together and getting thingsready to be taken outside
(20:45):
because I had to build furniture, as you know, we were setting
up and I remember sitting andthere was things on my mind and
I got into that that ruminatemode where I was just really
metal against metal type of deal, and you said what's what's
wrong with my husband?
Do I need to feed?
You said come on, let's go feedyou so I can get my husband
(21:08):
back.
And I was like, oh wow, notonly was that relieving, that
was like that was nice.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
That was real cool.
And then we went and got foodand we started talking and you
say, okay, now I got my husbandback and I was like, okay, I can
do this.
Yeah, that was nice.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, that was a good way of being, because you're
right, corey, you are quite thebusinessman and you're always
thinking about what the nextmove is what can we fix, what
can we do better Really goodqualities.
Move is what can we fix, whatcan we do better really good
qualities.
And I think honestly, I thinkthis weekend stretched you,
because I don't know somethingin you sensed that we just
(21:55):
needed downtime, right, and so Ifelt like your brain cells
might have been going uminternally.
I, I don't know what washappening there I can tell you
exactly what was happening.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So you know, we can dot the i's and cross the t's
and we can do all the rightthings and make all the right
calls and touch base with allthe people that we're supposed
to touch base with, but at somepoint you have to say I've done
enough, I need to take a break.
And you kind of brought that onwithout saying that, but I just
(22:34):
thought to myself, you knowwhat?
I just need to take a break, Ineed to relax.
I'm feeling burnout approachingand I don't want to get to
burnout because I know what thatdoes.
Feeling burnout approaching andI don't want to get to burnout
because I know what that does.
Yeah, that typically makes yougo on hiatus for, you know,
weeks at a time, and I don'twant to do that.
I want to be able to, uh,rejuvenate and come back
(22:56):
stronger.
And so I just, you know, pulledfrom you, gleaned from Jen and
and watched how I could, youknow, pull away from some of
this stuff, and I seen thatspace.
So I got out of there when Icould.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
It was so good to see you in that element too.
That's so important for me asyour wife to see you relax and
just enjoy and chill and stuff.
So that was cool.
Yeah, yeah.
What about how many times youcelebrate, Corey?
Just the little things in life.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I'm guilty of not celebrating as much as I should
Excuse me, and I'm working onthat.
I'm working profusely onlooking at the small wins and
just really enjoying them.
And I'll tell you one thingthat I made myself pause over
and and that was just seeing thebackyard completed, um that was
(24:01):
almost completed well, yeah,but I mean, what I mean is what
we did, what we finished?
Yes, I felt very celebratoryabout that and I felt so excited
.
Here it comes, you ready forthis?
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
I brought up having people come over and having a
barbecue.
He really did.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
I did and guess what I did, Because I'm always down
for a party.
I'm like I'm going to create afire.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
And you did.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
I did, and you're all for what I was like.
I'm gonna create a fire and youdid I did and you're all for
what I was like, because I justwant to, yeah and um, so that
was good, that was really good.
And the reason why I say we'realmost done is because, for me,
when I get in a space where Ican just be and enjoy
Interestingly enough, just forme that's when things start to
(24:58):
happen Like, and I'm just like,oh, I get a new coaching client
this weekend and it felteffortless and I said, oh, in
that corner I could see a cabanabeing built.
In the backyard corner I couldsee a cabana being built in the
(25:18):
backyard.
And it just helps you see otherthings, because you're not so
fixated on the one or two thingsthat might be overwhelming you.
I think that's why it's soimportant to step away from it,
right, you know, and just goahead and take a breather.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Right and I really wanted.
I thought about what you said.
I'm hearing what you're saying.
I'm hearing what I'm saying andsomeone may be thinking, oh,
they're doing an awful lot withthis backyard.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
It's real.
It's real.
We're enjoying the space.
Yeah, we're enjoying the space.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah, it's a real thing because, you know, we
lived in a house where, as Jensaid, we were in threat of our
lives because of golf ballscoming flying in.
We had to replace windows atleast five to nine times a year
because of the golf balls and itwas in the contract that we
(26:12):
thought oh, how many times woulda golf ball really hit the
house?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
And then we started paying attention to other houses
in the area and notice, wait, aminute, there's a problem here.
And so I remember calling thegolf course the first time and
they said, oh no, it's in yourcontract.
And I thought, did we really?
Yeah, we did.
So.
This is why we're celebratingand enjoying this part of our,
(26:39):
our life so much, because we weliterally had no backyard for
almost 13 years.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yeah.
So that brings me to this,which we're almost coming to
close is the celebrating ofordinary things.
So if you're a coming to aclose is the celebrating of
ordinary things.
So if you're a person with abackyard, maybe you just realize
like, wow, I have somethingthat most people don't, or some
people don't, and I get tocelebrate that.
(27:09):
So what you think is ordinaryfor you is special or
extraordinary for someone else.
So like, for example, I thinkof now, really think about this
real time.
I get to load clothes in awasher, put them in a dryer and
(27:32):
I get to fold my laundry in myhome yeah that's something
ordinary for us and I rememberwhen we had to go to laundromats
yeah and I we during covid yeah, so it's those things like I've
I got to fold my laundry, orhere's one that you cory.
(27:52):
It's ordinary for you and Ijust wish I tapped into it
sooner.
Um, just the other night justlast night actually we had
talked in the backyard with usdoing nothing.
See, that's the thing too.
When you're not hyper focusedon the problems or the fixing of
things, you're able to talkabout other things right so
(28:15):
we're talking.
You said, hey, did you know?
Or I actually saw something.
I said apple's saying that youshouldn't sleep by your phone.
That's being charged because ofthe radio.
What is it, cory?
Speaker 2 (28:28):
the, the frequencies radiation the microwaves, the
all Microwaves, all those things, all the things, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
And I sleep with my phone right next to me.
Sometimes I'll jump on it If Iwake up in the middle of the
night.
I'll jump on it, thinking thatit's going to help me go back to
sleep, when I know that's verycounterintuitive, but I just do
it anyways.
So I was like why do I keepsleeping next to my phone?
(28:58):
So I put it in my purse away onthe other side of the room and
I woke up and I told you, Corey,one of the first things I told
you when I was like that was oneof the best nights of sleep
I've had in years.
I have.
I don't even remember the lasttime that I woke up feeling
(29:19):
rested.
And if you are someone who goesto sleep and you sleep your
seven, eight hours and you wakeup feeling rested, that is
something to celebrate, Becausefor me that's not ordinary.
That is something to celebrate,yeah, Because for me that's not
ordinary.
But I had one of those nightsand I'm hoping I continue to
have them by, you know, bringingthese new habits, and so I just
(29:43):
love that.
I love that we get to celebratethe things that we might take
for granted.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
No, I totally agree.
I totally agree.
And it's weird, jen.
Let's bring it even a littlebit more close to home so that
(30:08):
the people, the listeners, cansay you know, we take for
granted so many different thingshere in America, from running
water to restrooms, toilet paper, toilet paper.
Running water to restrooms uh,toilet paper, toilet paper being
able to go down the streetaround the corner for most, to
go to the store.
You don't have to track many,many miles and if you don't have
a, a car, the bus system willtake you anywhere you want to go
(30:33):
, and everybody doesn't havethat.
And those moments should giveyou pause to be able to
celebrate and be very excitedabout the life we're able to
live yeah, that's such a good,strong reminder for us, right?
Speaker 1 (30:50):
It's a very humbling thought, and I love the practice
of humility.
Maybe we should do an episodeon that.
So one of the questions thatI'd like to leave our listeners
and ourselves is just how wouldI move, or how would you move
through today if you believe itwas worth celebrating just as it
(31:12):
is, just as it is?
Another thing that came to mymind, and I'll end with this, is
that we can get really obsessedwith changing for the world
around us, right?
(31:33):
Instead of thinking and I lovewhat you said, corey when
someone asked you, corey, what'syour end goal?
What is your purpose, what isyour calling?
Because you do so much.
And I love when you said I wantto change the world.
And I think that's the flip.
We allow the world to change us.
(31:54):
We think we've got to meet themark, we've got to be a certain
way, look a certain way, docertain things, when, if you
flip that around, being who youare is the change the world may
need.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Yeah, and if that's your end, this is mine.
If you leave this world thesame way you found it, then what
did you come here for?
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Okay, that is definitely something to think
about.
All right, well, you know welove you all and we hope you
have a good day and be on thelookout for the Ordinary and be
grateful and celebrate it.
You know us to take theelevator.
We say look up and let'scelebrate.
(32:47):
Celebrate.
That was good.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
That was good.
Want to sing it as we go out.
We're going to say celebrate.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
No, I want to sing a.
What's that song?
Celebration, oh yeah.
hey, it's jen the builder and cory, and welcome
everyone to take the elevator.
It's so good to have you hereso good to be here man, it has
been a rough week.
I went to the dentist, corey, asyou know, and I just feel like
being in the dentist and havingmy mouth open to all the germs
(00:36):
maybe flying around.
I just caught something andthankfully it's starting to go
away, but I apologize beforehandeverybody if I get into some
coughing bouts or sneezes.
I'm getting over it, though,and thankfully this is not
contagious because I'm here athome and you're not here with me
(00:57):
.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
How about that?
I'm here, though.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And you've been doing really well with not getting
sick.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah, so we've got quite the episode today.
But before we go on to there,corey, what's new?
Well?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
if you ask, I must tell you.
So we had a tough weekend withyou as far as you know what was
going on.
But we, we added to ourbackyard and that was very fun
because, uh, I really enjoyedthe backyard this weekend with
the, the additives that we, weput in there, and I'm just going
(01:33):
to share a few things.
Uh, we put a, a bench and atable and a fire pit that I
really got a chance to enjoy.
So it's one of those weekendsthat made me feel very good and
I felt comfortable, relaxing athome most definitely.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Let's well, let's go into detail a little bit about
the backyard furniture.
So okay or the backyard periodor backyards backyards yeah okay
, uh, I'll speak to what I know.
Um, when we moved in here inoctober, we were really excited
(02:13):
because we haven't enjoyed abackyard in about 11 years,
because we lived on the golfcourse right off hole one, and
so it was literally danger zonein our backyard and so we have
totally enjoyed having backyard.
Last weekend we're like, oh,let's buy some furniture.
(02:33):
One of our favorite stores washaving a major sale yeah and I
think it was like 50 off.
So imagine 50 off outdoorfurniture that we really wanted
and on top of, if you appliedfor a credit card, whether you
got approved or not, it wasanother 30% off the entire
purchase.
So, friends, we walked out ofthere 80% off.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yeah.
So we weren't out there justspending frivolously.
We were actually doing somegood uh bargain shopping and
that felt good.
That always feels good whenyou're saving some money,
especially in tough times.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
You know, yeah, well, we were driving fervorously
because we went to one store andit had some of the stuff, but
true to the body name, we werepiecing everything and we were
being particular.
So then one store had it and wewent to that store.
But then it was like, oh, butthen we want this and that store
(03:34):
didn't have it, but one did.
So we, we traveled betweenthree stores on that day and we
loaded up our passport.
Boy, we just she earned hername she earned her name for
sure.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
But, and I have to say this, jen uh, a lot two of
those trips were my fault,because you told me what I
should have done and I probablyshould have left you home and
just went and did the first, uhthe second trip by myself.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
So yes, it was your fault yes, it was definitely my
fault, but I see and it's sofunny that you brought that up,
because this has to do with someof what we're going to talk
about today and we didn't planthis.
That's what's so funny is thatI could have been like dang,
dang it, like I said I shouldn'thave come, but then I was like
(04:28):
I get to go to Barnes and Noble.
I get to sit down and know whatwas it.
40, 45 minutes.
Yeah, it was about 40, 45minutes and I and I there was
fun in the middle of somethingthat probably felt like I I
shouldn't have come here, Ishould have stayed, but I was so
grateful that I went so let megive them a 15 second update on
(04:51):
what what actually happened.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
There wasn't enough room in the car to bring all the
stuff home, so I had to leavejen at the store and trek back
home and then go back and pickher up.
So, um yeah, great weekend,great furniture, great time
outside.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Love to be outside enjoying the outdoors I just
love the detail we give people.
They're probably like who cares, but it was a big deal.
So, cory, yes, we enjoyed thebackyard, even though I've been
sick, and you didn't mention myfavorite part and that on
purpose oh, because you'rewaiting.
(05:27):
You want you were giving me thepleasure of doing it absolutely
oh, that's so sweet.
So we had an above we have nothad have an above ground pool,
and I had to tell the storybecause when we realized, okay,
we're doing it, we going to dothe backyard, because things
were coming together.
(05:47):
So I went on Amazon and all Ihad focused on Corey was because
you did the measurements andyou said, jen, 15 round is going
to be too big, go for somethingsmaller, like a 12 or 13.
So that's what I had in my mind, like, oh, I have to do this
and I gotta get it right because15 is too big.
(06:10):
Well, I just focused on thatnumber and I ended up getting a
13 foot by 30 inches, whichwould literally come up to our
knees yes, two.
Well, your knees right so twoand a half feet, cory.
(06:30):
You looked at me.
You're like are we just likegonna wade in the water?
No, we were gonna just sit inthe water yeah, so thankfully
you caught it and we were ableto go ahead and get the right
inches, and so what we got was48 yeah um and but what's crazy
is that the next size up was 54inches and you can't even get
(06:54):
that on amazon.
You have to go to like a legitpool store, and how much was it?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
well, you could get it, but it was literally uh it
was on amazon, yeah, it was like500 to 700 dollars more, and
that's that's insane, becauseyou go from this I mean, we were
six more inches yeah, weweren't cheap about it, but I
mean we weren't gonna spendthousands yeah no way no, not
(07:23):
even a thousand, right right noteven five that's right.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, so we got in there today and, by the way, we
were recording on a sunday.
We got in there today and itwas so.
It was so fun because I waslike cory we have not been in a
pool together in over 12 yearsyeah and and we were always in a
pool and when we go to hotels,cory's not keen on getting to
(07:52):
the pool with me and otherpeople.
I think it's the other peopleyeah, it's like hundreds of
people in one pool and when yousee kids, you kind of know what
they're doing in the water andI'm looking to see, like you,
parents are gonna ask them ifthey need to go to the bathroom.
I'm just saying, and I was justlike, please let these
(08:13):
chemicals be working, becauseI'm in here with you all I know
there's someone listening rightnow and they are feeling my pain
with that whole situation.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
So if you understand where I'm coming from, I I just
can't.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Oh, let's move on yes , like we're almost spending 10
minutes on the draft thing, butclearly you can see how excited
we are about our backyard in thefire pit.
So, yes, so let's move on, cory.
What are we talking about today?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
so we are going to move on.
But, chan Chan, I got to throwjust a couple of questions out
your way and I'm not expectingfull, whole answers.
Just give me, you know, verysurface level.
Like there's a lot of weirdthings happening in the world
right now and so I just wantedto ask you what are you thinking
(09:01):
about?
Like the Epstein thing?
Isn't that really strange?
Like it just keeps coming upand and and, turning over, and
and.
When I say turning over, likeyou would think it would either
get solved or figure it out orgo away, but it's just keep on
finding it it's way back yeah,so you got that.
(09:22):
And then there's all these crazysituations with the weather
right now, with the flooding and, uh, we dealt with fires, and
then there's some other.
It's like a really strange timeand I was just curious, you
know did you have any thoughtson any of that stuff?
I mean, I know I'm the news guyso, uh, I try to listen and
(09:43):
stay up on that stuff.
Any, any?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
my thoughts aren't deep at all, cory, I think.
Where it goes is like is thisfor real?
Then the next question for meis how can it be for real?
Right it just seems so strangeand odd and, um, I want to say
it feels made up Like how doesone part of our country flood
(10:10):
the way it does and then it goeson to somewhere else and then
things are burning down.
It's just incredible.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, absolutely.
So I just wanted to throw thatout and see what you had.
You don't have too much and I'mokay with that.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I've been yeah, there's not a lot going on right
now as I'm recovering frombeing sick, but if you'd like to
share what you're thinking,Well, I'd love to go into detail
about it, but I was looking forsomeone else's take on it on it
(10:47):
.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
If you're listening and you have a take on it, man,
I am so open to whatever anyonehas to throw back at me and give
me their insider input.
This is one of those areas thatI don't have a lot of
information on, but I have a lotof opinions on Jen.
Shall we move into the topic?
Yes, let's do that.
So you know, in life peoplespend time doing one of two
(11:09):
things Either they're trying tofix a problem, or they're
celebrating their problem, orthey're solving of a problem.
And so my question today is howdo you fix something or just
celebrate?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Okay, well, I think that the majority of us are
always trying to fix something.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I think what I've seen is that people celebrate
accomplishments or achievementsor special days, but as far as
the ordinary life, I don't evenwant to call it a small win.
Maybe it's not even a win.
Are we celebrating that?
Are we so busy trying to fixthings?
(11:58):
You know what I mean.
So if I'm going to be real, themajority of my life has been to
try to fix things, and maybenot even just things.
It's fixing me, fixing otherpeople, fixing situations,
(12:19):
trying to solve things.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
So let me ask you a question what's the last thing
you tried to fix?
Whether it got solved or notdoesn't matter, just the last
thing that you were reallyworking hard on to try to fix
usually that's a difficult, adifficult question for me to
(12:44):
answer, specifically becauseit's going to come out very
generalized.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Usually people come to me with issues at work
usually relationship issues,Right and so I'm partnering with
them to help them try to fix asituation or maybe fix how
they're seeing things.
Right.
There's always fix yourperspective, fix your story,
(13:10):
edit your story right.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yeah, that would be probably the last fixing I've
done.
What about you?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Oh man.
So I'm always trying to fixsomething and I'm guilty as
charged because I'm trying tofix my book, I'm trying to fix
the music, and then I'm a'mguilty as charged because I'm
trying to fix my book, I'mtrying to fix the music, I'm
trying, and then I'm a sound manas well.
So I'm trying, I'm tweaking oursound in the band, I'm trying
to get the recordings right andsomething's always going wrong.
(13:40):
And what people don't know isif you're in the recording world
and you're working withequipment, equipment has a mind
of its own.
If it's hot, it runs one way.
If it's cold, it runs anotherway.
If the room is full, it soundsa different way.
If it's empty, you have toadjust for that.
So it's a continuous fixing ofthings and people and
(14:04):
positioning them, and so yeah,that's, and we had a show this
friday.
So you know, I went through allthat new place, new setting,
new stage.
Sound was way different.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
So yeah, we just were always fixing and do you think
you missed anything by alwaysfocusing on fixing?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
that's the thing, jen .
If I'm being honest which I,which I really am right now you
always miss something.
It it really sucks, because youknow, oh my god, I spent way
too much time working on thesound.
So I'll tell you exactly what Imissed.
I didn't tune properly beforethe show, so in the middle of
(14:49):
the first song I'm tuning aswe're playing, and that used to
be very difficult.
But if you do it, enough, whichis not a brag but if you find
yourself in that situation, youcan figure out based on your uh
guitarist, which, danny, isalways in perfect pitch because
(15:11):
he's a obsessive tuner well forme over the weekend and we
didn't know we're gonna do thisepisode, which is what is just
striking me as pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
We were sitting outside at night, bonfire and
everything, and I just I'd justbeen chilled over the weekend,
obviously trying to recover andfeel better, but I just I told
you, I said this weekend wasexactly what I needed it to be,
and it was just so relaxed, notstressed out, and if something
(15:54):
didn't work, it was like it'sgoing to be okay, like I'm
celebrating right now that we'resitting in the backyard and
it's been over 10 years thatwe've been able to do this.
Let me just celebrate that,instead of getting caught up on,
oh, the right side of the poolis an inch lower because our
(16:18):
backyard's not flat, or evenright, or, oh, that lantern's
not in the right place, let mejust enjoy that it's solar and
it's lit, I see what you didright there that that was pretty
darn amazing.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
If you're listening and you heard what jen just did,
what she was able to do was shewent out of fix it mode into
celebrate mode to get thenegative aspect out of the room,
and I watched it walk out asyou begin to celebrate and I'm
using a hypothetical, not aphysical.
(16:58):
I didn't see anything walk outthe room, so don't think I'm
seeing things here.
But yeah, I agree with you, Iknew I needed that too.
I needed to be away fromeverything.
I didn't need to be in themindset of anything business and
I didn't even want to mentionit.
(17:20):
And you notice, we didn't talkabout work.
We didn't talk about books,writing music.
I don't even think we had musicplaying.
We were just sitting out thereenjoying the fire.
As a matter of fact, you werecold, which is very strange.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Jen never gets cold, she's always hot and I was very
comfortable in the way I was uh,you know feeling with the
weather in the in the fire well,you know what, now that you say
that my body is so reactive toalways thinking or stressing or
(18:01):
trying to figure things out, Ithink it makes me run hotter
than typical.
So when you think about me overthe weekend and I'm having like
, oh it's cold, I wasn't workedup in any kind of way this is
true isn't that a trip like I?
and it just dawned on me whenyou said that, and then it just
(18:23):
made me think we go through lifeso much trying to fix all the
problems that hopefully thelines don't blur and we see life
as a problem because, truly,life is a gift and it's
something to be celebrated.
And so today I was able to justbe in my kitchen, cook, had my
(18:45):
own little cooking show bymyself, took reels, got on cap
cut if you follow me oninstagram, okay, it's so over
the top.
My first fun video that Icreated, instead of just being a
regular reel, yes, was on food,because that's how I needed to
play.
And true story, when we play,we play typically in front of
(19:10):
the world, right like on thisepisode on our um social media,
or in a in a workshop or at aconference let me pause you
right there just for a secondwhat happened?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
well, because you said you like to play in front
of, but jen will play by herself.
She's in the kitchen having herown cooking show but I'm not
talking out loud not the wholetime, no, but there are moments
when you're you are talkingyourself through something, yes,
and I'll have like the counterset up all like in a certain way
(19:44):
on my like a cooking show.
Yes, it's much more engagingand so I'll walk in and see all
the things laid out and I'm like, okay, she's having a good time
, isn't it?
yeah, it really was yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
so I think that's just important for us to share,
that it's so good to not be infixer mode all the time and it's
not to say, hey, get out of theresponsibility of fixing things
.
We understand that things getbroken.
You've got to fix it.
There's problems that come up.
You got to critically think,make decisions.
(20:22):
Yes, yes, yes and yes.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
But gosh, I hope that's not our forever way of
being you did something elsethis weekend that I was kind of
um taking them back to.
Uh, we were, well, I was in thein the mode of putting things
together and getting thingsready to be taken outside
(20:45):
because I had to build furniture, as you know, we were setting
up and I remember sitting andthere was things on my mind and
I got into that that ruminatemode where I was just really
metal against metal type of deal, and you said what's what's
wrong with my husband?
Do I need to feed?
You said come on, let's go feedyou so I can get my husband
(21:08):
back.
And I was like, oh wow, notonly was that relieving, that
was like that was nice.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
That was real cool.
And then we went and got foodand we started talking and you
say, okay, now I got my husbandback and I was like, okay, I can
do this.
Yeah, that was nice.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, that was a good way of being, because you're
right, corey, you are quite thebusinessman and you're always
thinking about what the nextmove is what can we fix, what
can we do better Really goodqualities.
Move is what can we fix, whatcan we do better really good
qualities.
And I think honestly, I thinkthis weekend stretched you,
because I don't know somethingin you sensed that we just
(21:55):
needed downtime, right, and so Ifelt like your brain cells
might have been going uminternally.
I, I don't know what washappening there I can tell you
exactly what was happening.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So you know, we can dot the i's and cross the t's
and we can do all the rightthings and make all the right
calls and touch base with allthe people that we're supposed
to touch base with, but at somepoint you have to say I've done
enough, I need to take a break.
And you kind of brought that onwithout saying that, but I just
(22:34):
thought to myself, you knowwhat?
I just need to take a break, Ineed to relax.
I'm feeling burnout approachingand I don't want to get to
burnout because I know what thatdoes.
Feeling burnout approaching andI don't want to get to burnout
because I know what that does.
Yeah, that typically makes yougo on hiatus for, you know,
weeks at a time, and I don'twant to do that.
I want to be able to, uh,rejuvenate and come back
(22:56):
stronger.
And so I just, you know, pulledfrom you, gleaned from Jen and
and watched how I could, youknow, pull away from some of
this stuff, and I seen thatspace.
So I got out of there when Icould.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
It was so good to see you in that element too.
That's so important for me asyour wife to see you relax and
just enjoy and chill and stuff.
So that was cool.
Yeah, yeah.
What about how many times youcelebrate, Corey?
Just the little things in life.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I'm guilty of not celebrating as much as I should
Excuse me, and I'm working onthat.
I'm working profusely onlooking at the small wins and
just really enjoying them.
And I'll tell you one thingthat I made myself pause over
and and that was just seeing thebackyard completed, um that was
(24:01):
almost completed well, yeah,but I mean, what I mean is what
we did, what we finished?
Yes, I felt very celebratoryabout that and I felt so excited
.
Here it comes, you ready forthis?
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
I brought up having people come over and having a
barbecue.
He really did.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
I did and guess what I did, Because I'm always down
for a party.
I'm like I'm going to create afire.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
And you did.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
I did, and you're all for what I was like.
I'm gonna create a fire and youdid I did and you're all for
what I was like, because I justwant to, yeah and um, so that
was good, that was really good.
And the reason why I say we'realmost done is because, for me,
when I get in a space where Ican just be and enjoy
Interestingly enough, just forme that's when things start to
(24:58):
happen Like, and I'm just like,oh, I get a new coaching client
this weekend and it felteffortless and I said, oh, in
that corner I could see a cabanabeing built.
In the backyard corner I couldsee a cabana being built in the
(25:18):
backyard.
And it just helps you see otherthings, because you're not so
fixated on the one or two thingsthat might be overwhelming you.
I think that's why it's soimportant to step away from it,
right, you know, and just goahead and take a breather.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Right and I really wanted.
I thought about what you said.
I'm hearing what you're saying.
I'm hearing what I'm saying andsomeone may be thinking, oh,
they're doing an awful lot withthis backyard.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
It's real.
It's real.
We're enjoying the space.
Yeah, we're enjoying the space.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah, it's a real thing because, you know, we
lived in a house where, as Jensaid, we were in threat of our
lives because of golf ballscoming flying in.
We had to replace windows atleast five to nine times a year
because of the golf balls and itwas in the contract that we
(26:12):
thought oh, how many times woulda golf ball really hit the
house?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
And then we started paying attention to other houses
in the area and notice, wait, aminute, there's a problem here.
And so I remember calling thegolf course the first time and
they said, oh no, it's in yourcontract.
And I thought, did we really?
Yeah, we did.
So.
This is why we're celebratingand enjoying this part of our,
(26:39):
our life so much, because we weliterally had no backyard for
almost 13 years.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yeah.
So that brings me to this,which we're almost coming to
close is the celebrating ofordinary things.
So if you're a coming to aclose is the celebrating of
ordinary things.
So if you're a person with abackyard, maybe you just realize
like, wow, I have somethingthat most people don't, or some
people don't, and I get tocelebrate that.
(27:09):
So what you think is ordinaryfor you is special or
extraordinary for someone else.
So like, for example, I thinkof now, really think about this
real time.
I get to load clothes in awasher, put them in a dryer and
(27:32):
I get to fold my laundry in myhome yeah that's something
ordinary for us and I rememberwhen we had to go to laundromats
yeah and I we during covid yeah, so it's those things like I've
I got to fold my laundry, orhere's one that you cory.
(27:52):
It's ordinary for you and Ijust wish I tapped into it
sooner.
Um, just the other night justlast night actually we had
talked in the backyard with usdoing nothing.
See, that's the thing too.
When you're not hyper focusedon the problems or the fixing of
things, you're able to talkabout other things right so
(28:15):
we're talking.
You said, hey, did you know?
Or I actually saw something.
I said apple's saying that youshouldn't sleep by your phone.
That's being charged because ofthe radio.
What is it, cory?
Speaker 2 (28:28):
the, the frequencies radiation the microwaves, the
all Microwaves, all those things, all the things, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
And I sleep with my phone right next to me.
Sometimes I'll jump on it If Iwake up in the middle of the
night.
I'll jump on it, thinking thatit's going to help me go back to
sleep, when I know that's verycounterintuitive, but I just do
it anyways.
So I was like why do I keepsleeping next to my phone?
(28:58):
So I put it in my purse away onthe other side of the room and
I woke up and I told you, Corey,one of the first things I told
you when I was like that was oneof the best nights of sleep
I've had in years.
I have.
I don't even remember the lasttime that I woke up feeling
(29:19):
rested.
And if you are someone who goesto sleep and you sleep your
seven, eight hours and you wakeup feeling rested, that is
something to celebrate, Becausefor me that's not ordinary.
That is something to celebrate,yeah, Because for me that's not
ordinary.
But I had one of those nightsand I'm hoping I continue to
have them by, you know, bringingthese new habits, and so I just
(29:43):
love that.
I love that we get to celebratethe things that we might take
for granted.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
No, I totally agree.
I totally agree.
And it's weird, jen.
Let's bring it even a littlebit more close to home so that
(30:08):
the people, the listeners, cansay you know, we take for
granted so many different thingshere in America, from running
water to restrooms, toilet paper, toilet paper.
Running water to restrooms uh,toilet paper, toilet paper being
able to go down the streetaround the corner for most, to
go to the store.
You don't have to track many,many miles and if you don't have
a, a car, the bus system willtake you anywhere you want to go
(30:33):
, and everybody doesn't havethat.
And those moments should giveyou pause to be able to
celebrate and be very excitedabout the life we're able to
live yeah, that's such a good,strong reminder for us, right?
Speaker 1 (30:50):
It's a very humbling thought, and I love the practice
of humility.
Maybe we should do an episodeon that.
So one of the questions thatI'd like to leave our listeners
and ourselves is just how wouldI move, or how would you move
through today if you believe itwas worth celebrating just as it
(31:12):
is, just as it is?
Another thing that came to mymind, and I'll end with this, is
that we can get really obsessedwith changing for the world
around us, right?
(31:33):
Instead of thinking and I lovewhat you said, corey when
someone asked you, corey, what'syour end goal?
What is your purpose, what isyour calling?
Because you do so much.
And I love when you said I wantto change the world.
And I think that's the flip.
We allow the world to change us.
(31:54):
We think we've got to meet themark, we've got to be a certain
way, look a certain way, docertain things, when, if you
flip that around, being who youare is the change the world may
need.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Yeah, and if that's your end, this is mine.
If you leave this world thesame way you found it, then what
did you come here for?
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Okay, that is definitely something to think
about.
All right, well, you know welove you all and we hope you
have a good day and be on thelookout for the Ordinary and be
grateful and celebrate it.
You know us to take theelevator.
We say look up and let'scelebrate.
(32:47):
Celebrate.
That was good.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
That was good.
Want to sing it as we go out.
We're going to say celebrate.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
No, I want to sing a.
What's that song?
Celebration, oh yeah.
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